The Mummy Wars. If you’re a Mum, you know about them. Are you a full-time Mum or a ‘working’ Mum? And now comes the really loaded question, why?

As Mums, it can seem like we have to justify our decisions and sometimes we just can’t win. Even with ourselves.

Last month, Anna Carey shared her reasons for being a full-time Mum while, in this Issue, Guilia Jones reveals her reasons for her choice to be full-time in the paid workforce.

Both Anna and Guilia are fabulous Mums, doing the best they can, as we all are, to stay happy and sane and make it all work.

A recent survey found that 40 per cent of non-working mums feel stigmatised for staying at home and almost three in five ‘working’ Mums feel labelled as not taking parenting

seriously. And it’s other Mums making us feel bad.

I was at home with my boys for two years, and am now working. I loved being with the boys but got to the point where I wanted to do something different. It was hard for me to admit that, to myself and others, but am I happier for doing something about it? Definitely.

What we wanted to show was that every Mum needs support – regardless of her choices or what we might think of them. Let me know your thoughts at

felicity@catholiclife.org.au

Best wishes from my family to yours,

Felicity de Fombelle

A PrinciPAl’s PersPective

by Angus Tulley

in tHis eDitiOnSimple Family Prayer Time ... Not So Simple .........................................2

Flat Days. Blue Days. We all have ‘em ....................................................3

Why I am a full-time ‘working’ Mum ..................................................4

The Magic of Marriage ................5

Trying Hard to Appear ‘Normal’, With Eight Kids ..............................6

Hello to Hands-on Dads ..............7

‘Show respect’ is one of our school rules. Most students know what you mean when you say ‘be respectful’ and they can list examples of what it means to be disrespectful. As with many things we try to do in schools unless the young people have experienced appropriate modelling at home the concept of respect is lost on them.

When students start high school they bring with them 12 or so years of lived experience which prepares them for the way they will react to situations in life.

eDitOr’s nOte

Making it Meaningful

What have they been taught in terms of respect? How have they seen conflict being resolved? Are all family members loved for who they are or are there judgements and comparisons? How are subjects like other cultures, races and indigenous peoples spoken about? How are decisions made and are children asked for their opinions on things that affect them?

I’ve heard it said: ‘Schools should teach respect’. Rather, ‘Schools should model respect’ as the teaching should

Continued over...

Your Family, Your FaithIssue Three

Why I am a full-time ‘working’ Mum ..................................................4

FeAture Article

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One of my wife’s friends was raving about your newsletter this week, saying how great it is. We read it within a day or two of receiving it - it is so easy to read and very engaging and enjoyable. Congratulations!Jeremy, Dad-of-three, Wanniassa

A DAD’s PersPective“siMPle FAMilY PrAYer tiMe…nOt sO siMPle” By Shawn van der Linden

Since becoming a father, one thing that has become crystal clear to me is just how influential my own childhood experiences of family life have been for me personally.

The challenges associated with parenting can at times create that perfect storm of stress that invokes the parenting behavior and sometimes even the exact words of our own parents!

“Right, if you are not in bed by the count of three you are going to get a big punishment…one….two….two and half….THREE!!….”

My own mum and dad always employed the count down technique, and for some reason I always believed I would have a more enlightened approach, and that such a primitive disciplinary technique would surely never form part of my own parenting repertoire. But there you have it, at least a few times a week, those words come out of my mouth.

But of course the influence of my own childhood on how we raise our family is not all negative! One of the greatest joys of my life has been walking with my wife through that

wonderful process of sorting through the treasures that come from both of our families, and working out how that comes together for our own family.

This process is about being intentional about the family heritage that we want to leave to our children. It is actually quite profound to think about the impact I can have as a father on the future generations of my family, both good and bad.

In trying to be intentional about our family heritage I have found it helpful to understand it as a package with three dimensions: the spiritual, emotional and social legacy that is passed from parent to child.

To start with I am asking the question: What is the spiritual heritage I am seeking to build for my family?

Of course this might be about sending your children to a Catholic school or going to Mass as a family. But more importantly what are those day-to-day things that happen in the home that can build a spiritual heritage?

We are trying and struggling to have simple family prayer each evening

before bed. One of the kids will read a scripture from a children’s Bible, and then we take turns offering prayers of thanks and intercession. I doubt it really looks like ‘prayer time’, with the kids jumping on couches, or stress about little ones venturing dangerously close to candles, or mum or dad starting a “1,2,3 countdown!” … But it’s something, and we hope that by doing it regularly, it will slowly help to build the spiritual heritage of our family.

The area we feel really challenged about is ensuring our family spiritual heritage extends to solidarity with the poor and marginalized in our society. I would love to hear other families’ ideas or experiences on this topic! One simple idea we are considering is taking our older children with us when we do the St Vincent de Paul doorknock, which is what happened in my wife’s family when they were growing up.

While it’s important to remember where we’ve come from, it’s better to look forward to the family we are building. We have such an influential role as parents but it’s an influence that works itself out in a very hidden way through day-to-day actions in our families.

have started long before school. If students haven’t been taught the basics then it is an uphill battle for schools.

Schools have had to introduce programs to teach students basic etiquette such as listening to others, following directions and knowing how to ask for assistance when in doubt. The Golden Rule: treat others as you would like to be treated; has had to be deconstructed and illustrated with examples.

As I sometimes say in my school newsletters I don’t come from a ‘position of perfection’. A recent mistake was not telling my daughters I was writing for this newsletter. Both were told at work that people liked our family photo in the new Catholic publication. One daughter rang me to say ‘is there something you forgot to tell me’?

As the parent of teenagers I came to learn that even though my children respected my opinion and advice, they wouldn’t always do as they were advised or told. On these occasions it is important to concentrate on the behaviour, not the person, and not to back oneself into a corner. If you say ‘if you do x then I’ll have no choice but to do y’ chances are you will be doing y. It is amazing how words spoken in anger can be remembered word for word and used as ammunition the next time there is a disagreement.

Respect starts with the way we think about ourselves but it is very much lived out in the way we relate to others. Children need to be taught to respect themselves, to thank God for their gifts and talents and to treat others with respect.

A PrinciPAl’s PersPective...continued from cover

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A MuM’s PersPective“FlAt DAYs. Blue DAYs. We All HAve ’eM.” by Annabelle O’Connell

A time to chuckleA little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a while. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that that was physically impossible.

The little girl said: “When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah”.

The teacher asked: “What if Jonah went to hell?”

The little girl replied: “Then you ask him”.

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Some days I don’t want to tidy up anything, or make school lunches, or speak kindly to anyone.

And that is a challenge when there’s two young people watching and listening. Regardless of how I feel, I have to make their lunches, and make an effort to speak nicely.

I remember from pre-natal classes the Baby Lady telling us that this little person would be watching and listening to us from their Birth Day. I’ve never been able to forget it because it’s so true, and my little tiny 11 and 8 year old bubbies are still watching and listening.

When Pat and Gracie ‘just don’t feel like it’, whether ‘it’ is going to school or something else, we have a talk about sometimes having to do things you don’t want to and just having to say ‘brain, I’m in charge and I’m going to do this’ etc etc motivate, encourage…big sigh…But I really get how they feel, and I describe things that I dislike but have to do anyway, like making dinner and cleaning up the kitchen. I also remind them to ask God for his help to handle things.

A big part of this for me is the whole

motivation thing. There are times when I still have to work on my own motivation, let alone helping my children increase theirs. They already have a fair bit – there have been tears, shouting, both encouraging words and lack-of-patience-cross ones in the past and there will probably be more to come, but, for example, this morning when they both asked if they could stay home and I said, ‘No, sorry my darlings,’ off they went with a little sigh and got themselves ready.

It’s not easy sending them to school when they’re feeling low. I want to keep them by my side all day, and feed them chocolate and cake, but, thinking long term and pessimistically, that could be conditioning them into becoming overweight, toothless, unmotivated adults…niiiice. So with that in mind, off I send them with much encouragement, love and a silent prayer for a GREAT day.

Can you remember what it was like having to go to school feeling below par? Hard going. Being respectful is manageable, but trying to play nice when you feel anything but is still a struggle as an adult, let alone at school. It would be thoroughly

satisfying to behave like a pre-schooler: stomp off in a huff, push someone over or snatch whatever they have out of their hand. Or is that just me?

I find it so hard to be something I’m not, and that includes presenting as fine and dandy when I’d rather be at home in my trackies, but there are times we all just have to ‘get on with it’. I don’t mean times when we hear of tragedy or we have distressing experiences, I mean down days. Flat days. Blue days. On the days I don’t want to do whatever it is I have to, I call on the Holy Spirit to get a little fire going for me, take a deep breath and get moving.

Maybe it’s this awfully wintery weather that colours our mood – our kitchen floor needs washing, the bathroom needs doing and I think Ant put a load of washing on before he left this morning, so that’s to be pegged out - but all I can think about is this lovely tapestry cushion I’m doing….(deep breath; Holy Spirit, please hear me)

‘Brain, I’m in charge and I need to do some mopping, hang out some washing, the bathroom sink is a disgrace…’

DARAMALAN COLLEGE

1. You are a full-time ‘working’ Mum. How many children do you have?

Felix (5.5), Leo (4), Nicolina (20 months) and our fourth baby is due next month.

2. Why are you a paid ‘working’ Mum?

I have chosen to keep myself in the paid workforce because of the opportunities I have had as well as for the long-term finances of the family. All mums make tough decisions about work and home life.

3. Have you always been a ‘working’ Mum?

I was home for one year after the birth of one of my sons but back to work six weeks after Nicolina was born. Neither was a walk in the park, but all mums do the best they can.

4. If you have been a full-time Mum, how was that for you?

I have had times at home and I found that, particularly when the children were very young, it was definitely a struggle to have stimulating and meaningful adult company. It can be a very lonely time.

5. Who looks after the children?

I have used several kinds of care. My mother-in-law has stayed with us for periods of time which has been great. When I was 21 I worked in Rome as an “au pair” and loved it. We have had some fantastic au pairs living with us and this is the best option for us at the moment. It is also not as expensive as other forms of childcare.

6. How do you feel about being a ‘working’ Mum?

Sometimes I have loved it, sometimes I have felt trapped, but I have always believed that for us my income and experience in the workforce is vital. As time goes on and I gain more experience we have become better at navigating work that fits in with our family.

7. What are the pros and cons of your situation?

It is hard to find time for yourself but that’s true for all mums. It can sometimes feel like a choice between being overworked at work versus lonely at home. On the up side the family has a little extra money and I have the hope that when my children are a little older I will have less trouble finding work!

8. Have you ever felt a sense of guilt for ‘not being there’ enough for your children?

Many mums in modern western societies suffer from mother’s guilt. I try not to fall into that trap. We are some of the best educated people on the planet, our children are some of the luckiest children. It is a good idea to stop and think about that. In this life there are always plenty of things to feel bad about but I try and focus on the good. Sure I feel sad sometimes but I think mums at home feel sad sometimes too. We need to do our best and let God help us with the rest!

9. Is there much judgement from others?

Sometimes the judgements come from places that hurt the most, relatives and friends. I try to be what I want to see in the world and encourage my mum friends to not let life overwhelm them but stay positive. There is a lot one mum can do to help those around her. Can I make another busy mum dinner

when her husband is away or sick? Can I have a friend’s kids over for a day and give her a break? As we become busier it is easy to be totally self-focussed as a family. My kids are always watching and learning from me and with the need around us there are people really struggling. Can I show my kids how to help others? I find there is a huge cultural tide of selfishness.

10. Is there still the sense that Catholic Mums should look after their own children?

There are some cultural expectations on mums; catholic cultural expectations can be harsh at times. Most mums I know through the church are well aware there is more to raising well balanced kids than just getting the balance right between work and home. How will I make sure my children are not completely selfish

when they grow up? How do I get my kids to think about saying a prayer for someone else, to reach out to God so he can have the chance to reach back to them in a society where many of the strong voices in their culture will say that is a bit crazy?

11. Did you always plan to be a ‘working’ Mum?

No. I guess I thought things would be a lot more “white picket fence”. Like a lot of things in this world, until you experience them you think they are a lot simpler than they are!

12. Is life easier for ‘working’ Mums?

No. A friend summed up family life the other day like this: pain and joy all at the same time.

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“WHY i AM A Full-tiMe ‘WOrking’ MuM”

Guillia Jones with children

“tHe MAgic OF MArriAge”

by Jonathan Doyle

The universe is coming to an end.

I spent my final high school year trying to appear far more scholarly than I was by carrying around a book called, “The Second Law of Thermodynamics.” By reading the back cover I learned that everything in the universe, left to itself, is winding down. Scientists refer to this principle, of things moving from a hotter state to a cooler state, from birth to death, as entropy. The bad news is that it also applies to your marriage.

Think of when you first met your spouse. Your brain bathed in a sea of the hormone oxytocin, you had candlelit dinners and even wrote letters to each other. (Hint – don’t try explaining what a ‘letter’ was to your kids - it doesn’t have buttons or a keyboard.)

Next came kids, work and a mortgage. Suddenly you had taken a wrong turn from wedded bliss into the backstreets of a town called Mundane. The Second Law of Thermodynamics had gone to work on your marriage. The real tragedy though, is that you might think this is just how things are. Nothing could be further from the truth.

The loophole in the 2nd Law is that

it refers to a “…system left by itself…” So what is the solution? Simple, just make sure you are doing very deliberate, planned and repeated actions to keep pushing each other to reconnect with the magic that united you in the first place. I am amazed at the belief that certain marriages have an X-factor and everyone else is doomed to mediocrity at best and failure at worst.

If you want to turn your marriage around you need to go to work and abandon the idea that marriages are some kind of ‘perpetual motion machine’ that can carry on with no refuelling.

A few days ago I took Karen to a great restaurant and while waiting for drinks I handed her a pen and paper. I then fired off some questions and we both had to write answers and take turns sharing them. The first few questions were:

1. What first attracted us to each other?

2. What is your best memory from when we were dating?

3. What are two things you are proud of that we have achieved?

4. What two things could we do to improve our marriage in the next 12 months?

It was a simple, fun and low cost way of improving our single most valuable asset, our marriage. Out of that comes the quality of our parenting and the impact of our vocations.

So now your turn. In the coming week what is one action or activity you can do with or for your spouse to reconnect with the magic you shared at the start. I really want to challenge the men to come up with something creative, as I have always believed that romance is actually a highly masculine quality.

So even though the universe is coming to an end your marriage may just be about to begin. Go for it!

* Jonathan and Karen Doyle run Choicez Media leadership and development seminars – www.choicez.com.au

Meet Umbert the Unborn, the feisty comic strip character who demands respect. His mother’s womb is his private universe, playground and think-tank. Created in 2001, Umbert will be a regular feature of the newsletter

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uMBert tHe unBOrn

Jonathan, Karen and children

FAMilY MAtters“trYing HArD tO APPeAr ‘nOrMAl’, WitH eigHt kiDs” by Cathy Drumore

When I was pregnant with our “Baby H”, many mums asked whether I had other children, as opposed to the “Is this your first?” young mums get. My standard response is “Lots!” and I leave it to the imagination of the questioner as to how many. If I say, “This is number 8” the responses tend to vary from disbelief to downright rude.

I’ve discovered in myself a cowardly desire at times to let other people think I’m “normal”. For example, if I’m speaking to another mum who says she has three boys, I might say, “Oh, I have three sons, too,” omitting that I also have four daughters. And if I’m out in public with just my younger two children, people assume they are all I have.

Okay, so perhaps it’s not all about the questioner – the problem is we can get so used to being bagged out that we expect it even when it isn’t

going to happen! It’s so much easier to try to appear like everyone else.

Of course, this isn’t always a bad thing. I have conversations (my favourite hobby is talking!) with strangers in waiting rooms, supermarket queues and on public transport about my family. I feel blessed to have been given so many bright and healthy children. It’s just that we then seem to fit into some kind of stereotype in people’s minds.

It’s the same kind of experience being Catholic in our society. Angela Shanahan, writing an article about Tony Abbott in 2009, pointed out that “anti-Catholicism is the last bastion of polite bigotry” in our society. Certainly, I have colleagues and students who refer to anyone who is Christian as “religious” (whatever that means) but for Catholics in particular there are always special taunts reserved.

It can be easy to be on the defensive

or merely apologetic (in the non-evangelical sense) for belonging to the Catholic Church. Sometimes, of course, this can be because of poor choices by other Catholic figures, particularly the terrible child abuse scandals which have brought so much deserved shame, but mostly we are ridiculed for beliefs which were once societal norms and are still held by many of our non-Christian friends.

Sometimes we just have to be brave enough to acknowledge that we’re not PC and be ourselves.

I’m not ashamed of the size of my family nor am I apologetic about being a practicing Catholic – both of which don’t fit the ‘norm’. Instead, I think it’s important that we stand up as being someone alternative, people who may have different but not incongruous beliefs about where we want our society to go and who are prepared to voice them. Conservatism may be the new revolution!

FAMilY & FAitH“PAssing On FAitH tO Our cHilDren” by Archbishop Mark Coleridge

One of the themes to be considered at the

Synod of Bishops next year is the transmission of the faith from one generation to the next. Once upon a time, just by being born into a Catholic family, one became Catholic. Faith was passed on through the family and, perhaps, the culture. But that is not the case now.

Many who are born into a Catholic family in this country drift quickly away from anything that resembles the faith. Sometimes parents feel they have failed, and many lament what is happening. But that doesn’t turn things around.

The reasons for this shift in culture are many and complex. It’s certainly not a matter of parental failure,

though that can’t be totally excluded. However, many parents who do everything they can to pass on the treasures of the faith to their children only find their children turning away.

Nor is it a matter necessarily of schools failing in their task, though that again can never be excluded. But many teachers do their best only to find their students, especially in their senior years, choosing other paths.

It can be tempting too to blame the style of worship in our churches, and priests in particular. This again may be part of what underlies this shift in religious culture, but it isn’t by any means the full story.

Families, schools and parishes have to work together not to introduce the young to “the Catholic package”, as if the Catholic faith were some

ideological program. Nor is it their task to introduce the young to some moral code or set of values. If the faith is reduced to this, the young will inevitably turn away.

The young need to be helped to meet Jesus, not as some role-model from the distant past whom they must strive to emulate, but as a living presence and power here and now – the crucified and risen Lord – who can lead them to the fullness of life. This is the life promised by so much and so many today – all disappointing the young who thirst for the fullness of life. Jesus Christ alone can satisfy that thirst.

The key question, then, for families, schools and parishes is this: How do we lead young people to meet Jesus in this way? That’s our prime Christian task.

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FeAture Article“HellO tO HAnDs-On DADs”

When it finally became clear my father was dying and had only weeks to go, I spent as much time as I could around him. We had reached a

peaceful place long ago, so it was precious to sit in the hospital by his bed and talk, or just be there for quiet company.

On one of the last days when he was able to talk easily, he told me a story I had never heard before, about the first days of my life. When I was a newborn and home from the hospital, he had decided to take me in the pram for a walk, while my mother rested. He had walked with me up in to the high street. This was Yorkshire, in 1953, and, as he began to pass people, he noticed something odd. They were muttering at him, or scowling, some pointing to him from across the street. It wasn’t as he’d imagined, a proud young dad taking his new son out for a stroll.

Then some street urchins began to prance behind him, calling out to him. At this point in telling the story, he faltered and was silent. I wondered if it was the morphine, or if he was pained at what he was remembering.

I asked: “What were they saying, Dad?” His voice slipped into the accent of the north country, as he recalled their words, and his eyes were teary. “Your dad’s your mum”. He said it over again, fixing me with his eyes. He was always a shy man and at the time he had found it all too much – he slipped down a side street and headed home.

We sat in silence and I searched for some response. I said some things about how he was a great dad, always playful, gentle, making up games and fun to be around, much more than most men of his time. My body still remembers his huge hands lifting me or holding me or ruffling my hair. He seemed relieved to have got the story out.

But it haunted me for years. Dad knew I was an advocate of good fathering and of course he took it personally. He was telling me “well, I tried”.

It wasn’t just him. It was an age-old wound of industrial man. I had a vision of all the millions of men in the 20th century and before, yearning to be hands-on fathers, close to their children, but faced with a culture that scorned gentleness or involvement of men in what was clearly women’s work. So, they kept their arms tight at their sides and hardened their faces, and their sons and daughters sometimes never knew the warmth they felt.

Perhaps that toughness had survival value, when destiny was a coal seam or a blistering iron smelter, hunger not far away, and, like as not, another war to take young sons to an early grave. But I don’t think so. I think we lost something of great worth.

Father love is known in countless studies to help children grow happy and strong. It is the key to boys feeling motivated and believing in themselves, that being a good man is something to strive for. It gives daughters self-esteem and a sense of their intelligence and a value beyond mere sexual attraction. In families where mothers would otherwise do all the emotional heavy lifting, an involved dad provides the missing key to everyone’s mental health. Women love a good father. They often wish they had had one themselves.

Two decades ago, researching my book Raising Boys, I found worldwide studies had quantified “father time”. The average father in 1990 spent just eight minutes a day talking to or playing with his children – not

counting watching TV together.

The brilliant news, revisiting those figures now, is that the sons of those men have done a remarkable thing. Recent research suggests they spend about three times as much time with their children. A generation of young dads is committed to being close, caring and connected.

Last week the University of Newcastle released a study into rough-and-tumble play, noting that it was crucial to brain development, especially in emotional self-regulation, teaching boys to be safe and know how to manage anger. Fathers who roughhoused with their children were more trusted and their children more relaxed and affectionate towards them.

The study’s author, Dr Richard Fletcher, showed video footage of the earnest seriousness with which boys wrestle their dads, and the ways those dads carefully manage the action so that no one gets hurt. Daughters like it, too, but they are much less combative, giggling and enjoying the excitement and the closeness. Everyone benefits.

Hands-on dads are now the norm – it’s no big deal. I revisited Yorkshire a couple of years ago. Men were pushing strollers and prams everywhere you looked. My dad would have been proud of them, and of himself.

* Steve Biddulph is a former psychologist and the author of The New Manhood (Finch, $29.95).

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A generation of young dads is committed to being close, caring and connected“

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Published by the catholic Archdiocese of canberra-goulburnProduced by catholicliFePO Box 7174 Yarralumla Act 2600 tel: 02 6163 4300 Fax: 02 6163 4310 email: info@catholiclife.org.auWebsite: www.catholiclife.org.au

sPirituAlitY unDer tHe sPAnisH sun!Our 38 Archdiocesan pilgrims are arriving home from World Youth Day in Madrid.

What an adventure it has been, which you may have followed on their blog (www.cgmadrid.org.au); a unique opportunity to join with over two million others at the biggest youth and spiritual event in the world. Oh, to be young again!

Speaking just hours before flying out in early August, Archdiocesan Youth Coordinator Daniela Kesina said: “I’m looking forward to seeing that penny drop for our young pilgrims, for them to really appreciate they are part of this Universal Church and to see there is hope in the church and a real future for them in the church.”

WYD changes young people and inspires them to become more involved in the church. For example, five former pilgrims have gone on to join the Catholic Youth Ministry team.

“This year a huge drawcard was visiting the Holy Land, and with Archbishop Mark who is a biblical scholar,” Daniela said.

Every morning in Madrid, the group attended mass and a faith and spirituality discussion. The afternoons, after a siesta of course, were ‘youth festival time’ – with pilgrims choosing from a smorgasbord of cultural events at hundreds of venues all over the city.

Last Thursday they celebrated the Pope’s arrival; Saturday was an all-night vigil while Sunday was officially the 26th World Youth Day and Papal Mass.

On Monday and Tuesday this week, our pilgrims enjoyed a two-day post WYD “River Retreat”, out of Madrid.

While no doubt there has been much adventure and partying, Daniela stressed that WYD was first and foremost a spiritual journey, and a challenging one.

“I think I have come to know God a lot more, but that doesn’t mean it’s been easy,” said Daniela, who attended World Youth Day in Cologne, Germany in 2005 and Sydney in 2008. “You know how much growth is in store and that’s why you go back.”

www.cdf.cg.catholic.org.au

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Please consider making a tax deductible donation. Contact us at 6163 4300 or at

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Your Family, Your Faith is proudly supported by the Australian Catholic University

“In the last edition, we said the “Yelling at your Kids” article was written by Andrew Mullins. It actually came from www.markbrandenburg.com and was used by Andrew on his Parenting Tips site.”

teenAge treAsures Could your teenagers do with a dose of solid values and some personal development thrown in?

The 2011 Refresh camp could help. Run by the Catholic Youth Ministry Team on the weekend of Sep 30, it combines fun, music and super food with discussions about life, love and relationships.

“Trash and Treasure” is the theme. “Young people can feel they are not good enough for God to love them, but they leave realising how treasured they are,” CYM Team Manager Shahenie Burns explains.

“We help young people reflect on their lives and what they are doing well and not so well, and focus on improvements.”

Teacher and father-of-four Paul Mackay says camps for teenagers run by other young people are incredibly powerful.

“The power of peer-to-peer ministry is immense,” Paul says. “To have supportive young leaders with good values and influences to guide our teenagers is definitely a bonus.”

* To register, phone CYM Team on 0419 620 357.

Daniela Kesina