Yeshuat Yaakov

8/19/2019 Yeshuat Yaakov

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מאת נעם מאיר פריימן

ירושלים עיה”ק

Connecting Fathers and Sons in our Challenging World

A Mishna a Day ישועת

יעקב

ד ״ ס ב

ת, בּיעקֹב, ותרה שׂם בּישׂראל: ד ֵ ע םקּיו

.לבניהם

דיעם הל

ו נ י ֵ ת ב א

-את

צוּה

אשׁר

;דלּוי םינּב ן ר חא ר עדי ןעמל

ר לבניהם. ּ פסיו מקיתהילים ע״ח


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Haskoma of my Rosh Kollel, Rabbi Meir Triebitz


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Te basic idea of this essay is that fathers should learn a Mishna a Day with

their young sons, preferably before bedtime. Ideally, it should not be a mishna

that he learns in school. It takes 5 to 10 minutes to review a mishna, and it is

important and enjoyable for both the father and the son.

On Wenesday, , March 30, 2016, the worldwideכ׳ אדר ב׳ תשע”ו משנה יומית

cycle is starting again from the beginning ofתוכרב. By learning two משניות

each day, one can finish all of . in five and a half yearsמשניות

Question 1: Why now, in the year ” How is the present different from the pastתש

Our new modern world o internet, smartphones, and computers is interering

with chinuch. With the press o a button our children are open to a world that

directly opposes our hashkaah. I do not have to elaborate.

Secondly, not necessarily related to the first problem, there are more child–

parent relationship issues than ever beore. For example, chutzpah or notlistening to parents. In the last Mishnah o Sotah, Chazal teach us:

ה)“ ב ר ת יסג חוצפ “ Beore Mashiach comes, chutzpah willבעקבות משיח

prevail. Is there anything we, as parents can do about it Te answer is yes–

by learning orah with our children.

Gemara Kiddushin page 30b:

Tis is what Hashem says to Bnai Yisrael, My sons, I created a Yetzer Hara and

I created a orah as an antidote (spice). I you learn orah, you will not be given

into its hands….and i you do not learn orah, you will be given into its hands …

and i you want (adds Rashi to learn), you can control him.

A Mishna a Day

Connecting Fathers and Sons in our Challenging World

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We see rom this Gemara that the only way we can combat our challenging

world is by learning orah. Nothing else works.

Strengthening a orah learning connection with our sons will definitely help

to prevent uture problems that might arise. It will build a very healthypositive and special connection between ather and son. What can be more

beautiul than that

Question 2: Why should I start learning with my son davka when he is young

Young children are (accepting). Te more that the child grows up, heמקבלים

wants to be more independent and have a mind o his own. It is much easier to

sit down with a young child than an older one.

Let us start with an example that we can understand. We give our children

vitamins, shots, and healthul ood in order to strengthen them. So too with

the.– we have the ability to strengthen itנשמה

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רבינו יונה

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Rabbenu Yonah says, A childs (intellect) is not ully developed until he isשכל

13 years old. Until then, the yetzer hara is with him and he goes afer his desires

). He has no help rom hisת וות ) to leave them since he is very used to going inשכל

his bad ways. Even when he matures and his mind develops, it is very hard or him

to change his ways because hisת וה

will get in the way. Tereore his parents must

use their , in helping him while he is young until he matures at his bar mitzvahשכל

and only then will his yetzer hatov become part o him.

Rabbenu Yonah is saying that parents must be their childrens ב ו ט ה רצי until

theirs kicks in.

Question 3: It is clear how important it is for my son to learn from a young age.

However, I send my son to school and pay tuition. Isnt that sufficient

O course, it is our obligation as parents to send our children to school and

כל הכבוד to our devoted teachers, who are truly מוסר נפש or our children.

What has to be emphasized is the athers role in teaching his own son in

our challenging generation. We need that one-on-one relationship. Let us

go back to basics. In the שמע

קרי ת

that we recite twice a day it says:

ךמו ק ו ך כש ו ךר ד ךתכ ל ו ךתי ךת ש ם ר דל םכי נ ת םתו םתדמלו

Rambam, in the beginning o Hilchos almud orah starts out with this mitzvah

and quotes this pasuk. Tis pasuk is also written in our mezuzos and tefillin.

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Tere are two obligations in the mitzvah o limud orah:

1.A ather teaching his son, and 2. Te rebbe teaching his talmidim.

Te athers obligation in teaching orah is to attend to his sons needs, to see

that his son can manage in this world and not do any averos and to enable his

son to do the mitzvos o the orah that he will need in his lietime. Te proo is

written in Gemara Kiddushin 29a, where the athers obligations are listed: Bris

Milah, Pidyon Haben, teaching orah, arranging a proper marriage, teaching

him a trade, and, some say, teaching him to swim.

Rav Moshe zl writes– just like a ather teaching his son a trade and arranging

or his marriage attends to his physical needs, so too teaching him orah

attends to his spiritual needs. Later on in his chiddush, Rav Moshe cites theopinions o the Shach, the az and the Gra, that one should teach נבי ים

and because these studies teach usכתובים musar in order to save us rom

the yetzer hara.

Rav Moshe zl is teaching us an important and vital lesson. Our job as athers

is to teach our children how to manage in this world with the help o mitzvos

and musar . Te ather must make sure that this is ingrained in his son.

He cannot just send him to school and say, It is the rebbes problem. It is

the athers mitzvah and zechus. A ather has completed this mitzvah when

his son is standing on his own two eet. Tis is not an easy mitzvah.

Now we can see why it is part o עמש ת ירק that we recite twice daily and

beore bedtime.

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Te Rambam says thatשמע

קרי ת

starts with 1. השם

יחוד

-ישר ל

,שמע

and 2. הבת השם - לקיך ו הבת ת ד’

Immediately ollowing these important verses is the verse o learning orah

which is .– everything depends on itהעיקר הגדול

Te second Gadol is Rav Eliezer Puppo, known or his classical musar seer,

יועץ . rom 200 years agoפל

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Even though a child learns with his rebbe, the learning that he does in his home

is most important. Every day and night and Shabbos, whenever he has the time

he should learn with his child according to the strength o the child.

It does not reflect well on our generation that talmidei chachamim do not want

to teach their own children and young students because they eel it is תורה

יטול .

Tey incorrectly assume that they can accomplish a great deal more in one day

studying a ew pages o Gemara and poskim and thereby write many chidushim.

eaching is toil and requires tremendous devotion. Our obligation is to give נחת

רוח to our creator by teaching our sons.

Gemara Shabbos page 119b notes, the breath o children that are learning keeps

the world going and nullifies harsh decrees.

Teיועץ

פל

is very clear.

Te source or sending our sons to school is rom Gemara Baba Basra 21a:

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Rav Yehudah in the name o Rav says about Yehoshua ben Gamla, a Kohen

Gadol during Bayis Sheini, that i not or him, orah would have been

orgotten rom Yisrael.

Yehoshua ben Gamla says– i one had a ather, then his ather taught himorah, but i he did not have ather, then he would not learn orah.

Yehoshua elt that this was not acceptable. Tereore, he and his beis din

decreed that schools should be established in every district or all boys.

It is very interesting that the Gemara claims that the institution o a school

system was or boys who unortunately did not have athers to teach them.

Question 4: You might ask– I learn with my son once a week on Shabbos and I

even go with him to Avos uBanim. Why should learn with my son every day

I am just suggesting an idea to give our children orah booster shots.

School is intended to give our children learning skills, enabling them to

attend Yeshiva Gedola which lets them advance to a higher level. In Avos

uBanim the athers review what their children learned during the week

in school. Tere is no doubt that Avos uBanim is a fine innovation. Te idea

o a Mishnah a Day is separate rom what the child learns in school. It is

un time. It has nothing to do with school. Children need a break rom

school when they come home.

(continued on next page)

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Question 5: Again, why every day Isnt once or twice a week enough

Let me start with Rav Moshe Chaim Luzzato, who authoredישרים

מסילת

and םשה ךרד:

A great secret is revealed to us by Chazal. I the רשעים would not have lef

learning orah, they would have been good. orah by itsel is kadosh. Trough

hasmada, learning will give them

and in the end it will overpowerהתעוררות

them and they will return to acting properly.

Tis is mentioned in Midrash Eichah, where Hashem says, You could leave Me,

but keep my orah because the light o orah will cause you to repent.

o summarize, the Ramchal reveals a big secret. Learning orah is so powerul

that it is a segulah to be Chozer bshuva.

We think the word chinuch means to teach. We are amiliar with the phrase

I am mechanech my son.11

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Tis is also true. I you look in Gemara Chagiga page 6a:

Rashi defines the meaning o the word chinuch: Chinuch o a minor means to

guide him in order that he should continue with his good ways when he grows older.

Te Alter o Kelm writes:

Te nature o people is that the things they accomplished as children are more

serious in their eyes and they want to continue these activities as they get older.

Activities which they did not do when they were young in later years are oreign

to their eyes.

I a ather learns every day with his son, and it becomes a habit, he will continue

in this path when he will become older.

Question 6: Why learn Mishna Why not learn Chumash or Navi

All orah has equal value. But, in particular, learning o Mishna has a number

o benefits: Mishna is the basis o orah shel bal peh. All o Shas, Bavli and

Yerushalmi is based on Mishna.

A Mishna a day will help your childs הרותה תופי ש, orah aspirations.

In all aspects o lie one needs to have goals.

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Someone may desire to be a physician, lawyer, or accountant– a goal which he

must work hard to achieve. Te same is true with orah when a child aspires to

become a talmid chacham.

elling beautiul stories o talmidei chachamim is antastic. Te best way to

inspire your son is through actual orah learning. A 7-year-old child who

begins by learning a Mishna a Day will have completed approximately 2,000

mishnayos by the time he becomes bar mitzvah, making a great leap orward.

Tis is one hal o the mishnayos o Shas. He may come to realize that i he

learns two mishnayos a day, he will complete the entire mishnah by the time

he becomes bar mitzvah. Tat is quite a boost or הרותה תופי ש– to launch

him on a path o great orah learning or the rest o his lie and to inspire uture

generations.

Trough the writings o the Choetz Chaim, we learn a very important lesson

about learning orah:

In Olam Haba, a person is only granted to learn in depth the material that he

learned in this world, Olam Hazeh. What he doesnt learn in Olam Hazeh, he

will not learn in Olam Haba. Tere are ar greater revelations in Olam Haba than

what one can obtain in Olam Hazeh. Tey are revealed to him in those parshiyos

and halachos that he toiled to attain in this world. 13

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In Chomas Hadaas, the Choetz Chaim writes– In the world o the neshamos

the neshama attains all the parts o the orah that he learns in this World.

In Olam Haba, it is in the category o תענוג (spiritual enjoyment).

Te Choetz Chaim elaborates upon this idea in orah Or (chapter 9) and in

Shem Olam (chapter 2).

Question 7: Why learn with your son before he goes to sleep Maybe he is too tired

I your son is too sleepy, do not learn with him. However, children love to

jump out o bed every night. Your efforts to encourage them to go to sleep can

be used wisely by encouraging them to learn a Mishna a Day beore bedtime

provided it is done in a most loving and beautiul manner with hugs andencouragement. Tis will remain with him; he will remember these evenings

when he is learning in Yeshiva Gedolah and when he is raising his own children.

Conclusion

We all realize that my recommendation o learning with our children one-on-

one is not new. I am trying to re-emphasize its importance because o the rapidtechnological advances that are distracting our youth and adults.

We are a gifed Holy Nation. Hashem Yisborach has given us, with love,

the answers as to how to ocus and to grow in this world rom generation to

generation. We should merit to experience the last pasuk o Navi:

והשיב לב אבות על בנים ולב בנים על אבותם

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I wish to end on a powerul and personal note. My grandather Rav Yehoshua

Yaakov Epstein zl, in whose memory this essay is written, was anישועת יעק

admired and beloved Rav in Syracuse, New York. My mother and her siblings

grew up in a city where there were no Jewish day schools, yet their parents made

it their lie goal to teach orah to their children on a daily one on one basis. My

grandather zl and my grandmother, Rebbetzin Malka Epstein, raised orah-motivated and committed children through a special parent–child relationship

in a time and a place where this was rare. Tis was a daily experience in their

home. oday, all o their children, my mother, aunts and uncle, continue this

precious legacy and love to learn on a daily basis. I must add that this was the

characteristic that attracted my ather to be a ben bayis in their home when he

came in the summer o 1959 rom Brooklyn, New York to do research at Syracuse

University. In the first letter to his parents he mentioned the spiritual beauty owhat he saw and had experienced. My ather recalls with admiration witnessing

the Rabbi teaching Navi to his children on a rowboat in the Finger Lakes during

summer vacation. My parents and grandparents have been my role models in

my orah development and in my own efforts to similarly educate my children

using the one-on-one parent–child learning system.

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