Xmag

Youth speaks out

little libraries // podcasts

digital dating // money ball

Changing the world through spoken-word poetry

San Francisco State University Summer 2013

Also :

VISIT us at xpressmagazine.org @xpressmagazine

thank youYes, I’m than k ing you d i rect ly. Than k you for being a f r iend. Traveled down the road and back aga in. Your hea r t is t r ue, you’re a pa l and a conf idant.

Th is is ou r last issue of Xpress Magazine. And with it comes our whole ed itor ia l st a f f ’s depa r tu re into bigger th ings l i ke inter nsh ips, jobs, or moving home and spi ra l ing into a deep da rk a lcohol and d r ug-fueled depres-sion. But that comes with the job.

Fi rst I want to than k you, the readers. The people who read th is magazine a re not on ly st at ist ica l ly proven to be cooler, more suc-cessfu l, and bet ter look ing than thei r peers, but a lso more in for med about the t rends that mat ter in San Francisco. Your guys’ reader-sh ip is what ma kes th is a l l possible. Even i f

you’re just pick ing it up to thumb th rough it then th row it in the t rash, you put in the min imal ef for t to read the magazine. Just l i ke the ef for t you’re put t ing into your Psych class. Hey, C’s get degrees.

Next I want to than k my sta f f. A l l the st a f f wr iters have produced stor ies that I’m proud of and that would be g reat in any magazine. Wel l maybe not Popula r Mechan ics. We’ve covered topics that not on ly have a huge loca l impact, but issues on the nat iona l and even globa l level.

Of course I owe the success of th is mag-azine to my ed itor ia l t eam. Andy, Has-sina, Kayla and Kel ly have a l l done a t remendous job of ma k ing su re I d idn’t bu r n th is magazine down; both meta-phor ica l ly and l itera l ly. A lso than ks to Don Menn, our int repid advisor. Did you k now he inter viewed Jimi Hendr ix? And I owe the specia l ist of shoutouts to our design ed itor, Cha rlene, for put t ing in even more hours than I d id ma k ing th is magazine pret ty.

Th is may be the end for my ed itors and I, but fea r not. Th is may be our last semes-ter, but as we spea k we a re t ra in ing our el ite st a f f of word mongers to t a ke over the reins of th is noble publ icat ion.

So that’s it . We put out a damn f ine pub-l icat ion, and the fact that there a re l it er-a l ly thousands of you out there read ing it br ings a tea r to my eye. It’s either that or the a l lerg ies.

<<

Top: Babak

Haghighi, Andy

Sweet, Ben

Pack, Rhys Alvardo, Kenny Redublo Middle: Charlene Ng, Hassina Obaidy, Kelly Leslie Bottom: Kay-la McIntosh, Melissa Landeros, Molly Sanchez (Not pictured: Nicole Ellis, Jessica Mendoza, Vanessa Serpas)

Ben “ben Pack“ packeditor-in chief

Summer 2013ISSUE

Little LibrarySpreading literacy through

alternative means

By Nicole ellis

#17

podcasts

The relatively young medi-um that has been gaining popularity is in danger of

vanishing

By Ben pack

#08

moneyball

helpful tips on how to save money at sporting events

without going broke

By jessica mendoza

#04

digital dater

Dating in the 21st century offers new ways of finding

love and hooking up

By rhys alvarado

#19

Xmag

Rhys Alvarado

Nicole Ellis

Babak Haghighi

Melissa Landeros

Jessica Mendoza

Kenny Redublo

Molly Sanchez

Vanessa Serpas

STAFF

poetry slam

Student poets take the stage for a

second chance

By vanessa serpas

#12

EDITORS

Ben Pack

Kayla McIntosh

Charlene Ng

Kelly Leslie

Hassina Obaidy

Andy Sweet

Don Menn

editor-in chief

managing editor

design editor

copy editor

Online editor

photo editor

advisor

Advertising Office 4 1 5 -3 3 8 - 3 1 3 3

eva charles

echarles@sfsu.edu** cover photo by Samantha benedict

Read more

stories online

X P R E S S M A G A Z I N E S u m m e r 2 0 1 3

how to save money at overpriced sporting eventsB y j e s s i c a m e n d o z aP h o t o s g a b r i e l l a g a m b o a

money ball

I t’s a beaut i fu l Wednesday mor n ing. The sk ies a re c r ysta l clea r. The

sun rays sh ine over the empty Oa k land Col iseum.

There a re st i l l a few hours unt i l the f i r st pitch and on ly a few ca rs in

the pa rk ing lot. A la rge g roup of people d ressed in g reen and yel low sh i r t s

with “Ga l leo” wr it ten on the back gather a round a t able, laugh ing and

engaging in casua l ch it- chat. The t able is set with sa lad, ch ips and other

snacks. Coolers over f low with ice-cold beverages under the t able. The ma-

jor ity of them a re wea r ing g reen and yel low sh i r t s. The Ga l leo Winer y is

having a company pa r ty, get t ing pumped up for the big game.

Severa l feet away is a couple, Fred and K r ist in, sit t ing in the back of a

black pickup t r uck with thei r f r iend Mel issa, eat ing st reet t acos and d r in k-

ing beer f rom a smal l cooler. Another couple, Sa lvatore and Lindsay, sit

on lawn cha i rs, wa it ing for hot dogs to f in ish cook ing on a smal l, por table

ba rbeque.

Tai lgat ing is a com mon “pre-game” past t ime for spor ts fans a l l over the world who a re eager to cheer on thei r favor ite team and en-joy some good g r ub.

“Ta i lgat ing with a g roup of f r iends is best way to save money.” says R itch ie.

Bay A rea spor t s teams have been get t ing more at tent ion th is yea r than ever before, with the Giants win-n ing two World Ser ies’ in the past th ree yea rs, the A’s have defeated a d rought, winn ing last yea r’s A L West d ivision t it le, and the 49ers stea l ing a spot in the Super Bowl. The Ra ider’s roster may st i l l be un-der const r uct ion, but thei r d ie -ha rd fans wi l l a lways have thei r back.

As for basketba l l, t he Golden State Wa r r iors a re leaving thei r ma rk on the NBA, with r ising young players l i ke Stephen Cur r y, advanc-ing into the second round of the playof fs. In the hockey world, the Sha rks st i l l cont inue to f ight for the Stan ley Cup.

As the popula r ity of these teams cont inues to r ise, so do t icket and food pr ices, and spor t ing fans a l-most a lways end up spending more money at the game than they d id on ent rance into the st ad ium. The av-erage pr ice of a beer is $10, nachos a re $8 and even a water bot t le costs $5. A re you a d ieha rd Bay A rea spor t s fan who refuses to spend ex-t ra cash on snacks? Here a re a few pre-gaming t ips that a re su re to help you save some money.

Tailgate with fel low fans

For those who don’t know, a t a i l-gate pa r ty is when a g roup of fans gather together beh ind a t r uck or SUV and enjoy pot luck style food and d r in ks before the big game.

“You can tel l your f r iends to buy foods,” says R itch ie as he descr ibes about d ivid ing the food and d r in ks at the t a i lgate pa r t ies. “You don’t have to wor r y about buying food for a g roup of twelve people or more. You can ask people to br ing thei r own food or d r in ks.”

“Ta i lgat ing before Ra ider games, you can br ing a twelve pack of beer for twelve bucks instead of buy-ing one beer in the st ad ium.” says Jamey, a regula r the SF State P ub, refer r ing to when it comes to at-tending Ra ider games.

Bring your own food

Before you go to the game, stop by your loca l g rocer y store and buy your own snacks. Th is is one of the best ways to save money, but what happens i f you go to spor t ing ven-ue and they don’t a l low outside food into the st ad ium? The best solut ion is g r ubbing before the game.

Celebrating before the game

“Ta i l gat i ng w ith a g roup of fr i ends i s best way to save money . ”

A lot of fans meet up at loca l eat-er ies a round the st ad ium, before the game. It doesn’t mat ter i f it’s fast food, a ca fe, or a sit-down restau-rant- the chances of it s t i l l being less expensive than buying food at the game a re g reat.

“W hen I go to Wa r r iors games, I’l l go eat somewhere before,” says Br yn, an SF State student. “I usua l-ly go to In-N-Out by the st ad ium.”

W hat about the booze? Spor ts venues ma ke a prof it on a lcohol. It’s how they ma ke the money. But most people th in k it’s too expensive. The key is simple, most people th in k purchase a case of beer and spl it among your f r iends before the game. A g reat way to save money instead of buying d r in ks in the st ad ium.

“I usua l ly buy six packs before I go to the games” says Jamey about d r in k ing before going to Giants games.

I f you st i l l t h in k you might spend more money than you th in k you want to at the game, the best advice I can

05

<< On Left: A menu dis-plays the beer options of a vendor in the O.co Coliseum.

-ritchie

X P R E S S M A G A Z I N E S u m m e r 2 0 1 3

give you is to br ing a set amount of cash with you. Ta ke $40 with you and leave your c red it ca rd beh ind, that way you can’t just keep spend-ing.

Take the tra in

It’s no su r pr ise that pa rk ing in San Francisco or any other Bay A rea city is a bitch. In San Francisco, the st reets in the city a re smal l and na r row, and jam-packed with pedes-t r ians and other d r ivers. Paying for pa rk ing is another whole pa in in the you-k now-what. Before the new sea-son of the Giants, the meters have gone up to $7 per hour and the cut of f per iod went f rom 6p.m. to 10p.m.

The solut ion to saving money is to t a ke Ba r t or Muni. The pr ice for a Muni pass wi l l cost $2 for adult s, and Ba r t va r ies depending on where you a re going, but is ra rely over $8.

“I l ive in the Sunset (d ist r ic t) and I hop on the N l ine,” say Vinn ie, when he goes to the Giants games.

Some Giants fans l i ke, Br yn, t a ke the fer r y to AT&T Pa rk. The fer r y boats stop in f ront of the por t wa lk.

Br yn prefers to use the fer r y than d r ive to the city. I f you do, howev-er, need to d r ive to a game, ma ke su re you br ing a g roup of f r iends with you who can spl it the pa rk ing fee. R itch ie and h is f r iends ca r pool to Ra ider’s games and say it is a lot cheaper to spl it the cost of a spot.

“Ca r pool and pitch in for pa rk-ing,” says R itch ie, “ it saves us mon-ey.”

Go for the Nosebleed Section

It’s a lways n ice to get t ickets with a g reat v iew, or to have the chance to sit closer to your favor ite team when you want to get a closer look at the players, however, these t ickets can be ver y pr icey. Most of the good seats, l i ke lower box seats, can cost $60 or more. I f you’re just desperate to get to the game, but don’t have a lot of money, t r y out the nosebleed sect ion! Al l of the seats a re designed for the audience to be able to see the game. Just because you don’t have the “ top” seat, doesn’t mean you can’t st i l l enjoy the act ion . X

<<

<<

Oakland Athletics fans head toward the O.co Coliseum for a game against the Los Angeles Angels after exiting the BART station.

On Left: (Above) Salva-tore Rancadore (left) and girlfriend Lindsay Dworkin (right) enjoy beers and hot dogs before entering the O.co Coliseum for a game against Los Angeles Angels. (Below) An Oakland Athletics fan purchases a meal from one of the many food vendors in the O.co Coliseum.

07

X P R E S S M A G A Z I N E S u m m e r 2 0 1 3

The evolution of podcasting as a mediumB y b e n p a c kP h o t o : f r a n k l e a l

Radio of the future

I t seems l i ke just yesterday when that one rea l ly tech-savvy f r iend of yours was st a r t ing

was st a r t ing h is new “web-log,” or as he ca l led it a blog. F lash for wa rd to today. With the

advent of Tumbl r and microblogging sites l i ke Twit ter, blogging is st i l l a round in fu l l force.

But what’s the next medium?

The idea of podcasts is noth ing new. Radio programs with simi la r topics and product ion

va lues have ex isted for decades. With television put t ing a ser ious blow in publ ic rad ios’

numbers, many thought that these types of shows’ l i fe was nea rly over. Th is was t r ue unt i l

the mid-to -late 20 0 0s, when what we k now today as podcasts began to man i fest.

The ter m podcast was or ig ina l ly used as a ter m to refer to a type of RSS catcher that

would g rab audio inter view record ings and play them on a computer. Podcast ing has g rown

quite substant ia l ly as a medium. Accord ing to Pew Resea rch, in 20 09 there were 63,0 0 0

Engl ish podcasts, and a projected 115,0 0 0 in 2012.

San Francisco, being a hub for technology, is unsur pr isingly home to an astounding num-

ber of podcasts, with h igher l istener numbers than many major Amer ican cit ies, with severa l

of the top podcasts downloaded or ig inat ing in San Francisco, includ ing the IGN fami ly of

podcasts.

More ha rdcore podcast l isteners spend hours a week with thei r favor ite shows, and even

enjoy l isten ing to podcasts more than l isten ing to music or watch ing television. Sean Wu is

one of these l isteners.

“I l isten to podcasts on my hour-long commute to school,” says Sean. “I don’t m ind laugh-

ing l i ke an asshole because Muni is m iserable enough.” Sean l istens to podcasts on h is iP-

hone, opt ing to download severa l hour-long episodes a week of h is favor ite shows for f ree,

rather than music which he would have to pay for.

“I get a l l these podcasts for f ree, wh ich is a way bet ter dea l than movie or cable pr ices.”

He would not l isten to podcasts i f not for h is iPhone. Listen ing on-the-go is c r ucia l for

Wu. Pew repor ts that f rom 2010 to 2011 the g rowth of people that l isten to podcasts on mo-

bi le devices increased by nea rly one hundred percent. There a re a lso dozens of th i rd-pa r ty

apps, both f ree and pa id, that of fer podcast downloading and l isten ing featu res that the st an-

da rd Apple music players do not.

Fun hosts over a dozen shows, includ ing the popula r advice podcast “My Brother, My Brother and Me” and “Judge John Hodgman”, featu r ing author and televi-sion persona l ity John Hodgman.

“Al l shows f rom Maximum Fun a re funded by l is-tener donat ions,” Jesse says d iscussing whether or not he cha rges for any content. Ever y yea r they host a pledge d r ive, a iming for the goa l of 1,0 0 0 new donors. They received 1,40 0 new ones in 2013.

Many people quest ion i f rad io is the same as pod-cast ing. “At the moment there’s a clea r d ivide, a t the moment podcast ing is d r iven by the th ings that a re d r iven by web media, rad io is d rove by mass media,” says Jesse.

“Jordan, Jesse, Go!” is a ver y persona l show. The duo of hosts (usua l ly accompan ied by a guest) tel l ver y persona l stor ies. People get to k now not on ly the hosts on a professiona l level, but a lso on a ver y per-sona l level. W hat Jesse bel ieves one of the key d i f fer-ences that ma ke podcast ing st and out f rom rad io a re “power fu l, persona l connect ions.”

Student podcasting

The beauty of podcast ing l ies in the fact that as

A podcast empire

So with thousands and thousands of podcasts out there, what ma kes one good? One person who knows a bit about the game is Jesse Thor n, a g iant in the podcast ing ci rcle. A San Francisco nat ive, Jesse st a r t-ed podcast ing a f ter g raduat ing f rom UCSC in 20 04. He was a l ready doing the KCSC col lege rad io show, and had hea rd f rom some of h is more tech-or iented f r iends about podcast ing

“It sounded l i ke a good way to get a few ext ra l is -teners,” says Jesse. “It would probably t a ke me an hour and a ha l f of ext ra t ime.”

In 20 07 a f ter moving to LA, Jesse received a d is-t r ibut ion dea l f rom P ubl ic Radio Inter nat iona l for h is show, “The Sound of Young Amer ica,” but the revenue project ion was on ly $8,0 0 0 dol la rs for the f i r st yea r, and $30,0 0 0 a f ter f ive.

Jesse’s focus was in publ ic rad io, but he a lso de-cided to host and help produce a few other shows for what he would go on to ca l l the Maximum Fun network of podcasts, includ ing a podcast version of TSYA, a podcast of h is sketch g roup “Kasper Haus-er”, and “Jordan, Jesse, Go!,” a comedy podcast with Jesse’s col lege f r iend Jordan Mor r is. Today Maximum

09

<< Dave Pinder, Jr. has created the Bad Friends podcast exclusively D.I.Y, with his bedroom recording set up consisting of two mics, a couple pairs of headphones, a MacBook, and a colorful guest for each episode.

X P R E S S M A G A Z I N E S u m m e r 2 0 1 3

(whom Joe refers to as “a tota l pimp”), and Th is Amer ican Li fe.

It won’t make us r ich (but that’s ok)

The quest ion st i l l remains, though, i f podcast ing is a ma rketable medi-um. Aside f rom a few notable persona l it ies l i ke Jesse, there a re few people who ma ke thei r l iv ing f rom podcast ing, and rather t reat it as a passion project.

One of the most popula r podcast gen res is gaming. There a re thousands upon thousands of gaming podcasts out there, includ ing the insanely popu-la r Giant Bombcast. The Bombcast st a r ted in 20 08 (then ca l led the A r row Point ing Down podcast) a f ter Jef f Gerstmann was f i red f rom h is job at Gamespot.com, for ming h is own blog with for mer co -worker Ryan Davis. P r ior to that, Jef f was on the a lso super-popula r “HotSpot” podcast for Gamespot with Davis as wel l as severa l other co -workers who would go onto work at GiantBomb.

“We had hea rd about podcasts and wanted to get into it . There wasn’t anyone get t ing into game podcast ing,” Jef f says in reference to st a r t ing the Hotspot in 20 05. They received some pushback f rom cor porate. “It took convincing that was a good use of t ime because Gamespot wasn’t a good use of t ime.”

Jef f had done some rad io work in h is youth, but rea l ly thought that pod-cast ing had a viable futu re, especia l ly in the rea lm of video games.

Now the Bombcast is one of the most popula r podcasts on iTunes, even snagging the No. one most popula r podcast spot br ief ly in 2013. Jef f sha res Jesse’s thoughts on st aying connected to the fans.

What Jesse be l i eves one of the key d i fferences that make podcast i ng stand out from rad io a re

“powerfu l , persona l connect i ons . ”

long as you have a microphone and a computer, you can ma ke a podcast. Ta ke, for example, Joe Fitzgera ld. Joe is a repor ter for the “Xpress News-paper,” and host of “Swamp Gas,” an SF State podcast. They have re-leased two episodes and look to release more st a r t ing th is sum mer.

“It’s g reat out let to release the shack les of jou r na l ist ic style and have fun, but st i l l be a jou r na l ist ,” says Joe.

Joe, a long with h is co -host Br ian R in ker, record what it’s l i ke to be an older student a t SF State. And by record they mean “be cu r mudgeon ly to -wa rd.”

The idea of c reat ing a podcast was just another medium for Joe to ex-plore. He had been the ed itor on featu re leng th documenta r y, c reated shor t t ra in ing videos and even teaches in the mult imedia depa r tment at San Francisco School of A r ts.

They’ve recorded in many places, includ ing f rom the back room of the newspaper’s product ion room, to the campus l ibra r y. “The intercom would come on in the middle of the best bit s, and it r u ined ever y th ing. Someone suggested we record in a ca r, but who has a ca r in San Francisco.”

Joe bel ieves that podcasts do a g reat job of nor mal iz ing people. He’s a fan of podcasts such as Savage Love, Sta r Ta lk with Nei l DeGrass Tyson

“There a re podcasts out there that a re d r y fact-based repor ts. I hate to

compa re it , but in some ways it’s l i ke mor n ing rad io, it has that same sor t

of stu f f,” says Jef f.

W hi le most podcasts range in the hour to 90 -minute range, the Bomb-

cast’s week ly show of ten last s more than th ree hours.

“Th ree hours isn’t r ight for ever y podcast or ever y crew. The number

one feedback we get f rom people is we wish it was longer. The th ree hour

ma rk let s us say what we need to about games. We don’t th in k about it , it

natu ra l ly ends up a round that leng th.”

Jef f sa id they su r pr isingly get a lot of feedback f rom sold iers who can-

not access the inter net regula rly and spend t imes l isten ing to thei r show

to ma ke up for it .

St i l l, none of th is is d i rect ly for prof it .

“You can’t just i fy d i rect moneta r y resu lt s to podcasts. Subscr ibers sub

to suppor t podcasts,” Jef f says. It would be ver y easy for a man in a su it

to wa lk in and say ‘it’s cost ing us bandwidth.’”

And the Bombcast cer t a in ly does cost bandwidth, with “a few hundred

thousand” l isteners and th ree-hour episodes.

Patent trol ls and the future of podcast ing

11

St i l l, someone out there sees the potent ia l va lue in podcast ing, even i f

they’re doing it in the worst way possible. A Texas-based company ca l led

Persona l Audio has f i led su it aga inst Adam Ca rol la, as wel l as sending

out severa l cease-and-desist let ters cla iming they patented podcasts. The

fol lowing st atement has been issued on thei r website:

“We invented the technology that enables podcast ing back in 1996 as

pa r t of an ef for t to develop a por table and persona l audio system that

would of fer users a customized l isten ing exper ience using content and data

downloaded over the Inter net,”

W hat th is means for the podcast ing com munity is unclea r. The Elect ron ic

Front ier Foundat ion is work ing on leg islat ion in favor of the S.H. I.E.L.D.

act passed, a long with suppor t f rom Ma rk Cuban. Jesse bel ieves th is could

be d i re for podcasters.

“Recent ly a g roup of LA podcasters have been get t ing together recent ly

to t a lk about response opt ions. We’re in a ver y d i f f icu lt posit ion. Defend-

ing aga inst the lawsuit costs between a mi l l ion and a few mi l l ion dol la rs,

wh ich is why patent t rol l ing is so ef fect ive,” Jesse says.

“It’s a sca r y situat ion, a ver y sca r y situat ion.”

Jesse concer ned i f it comes to the point of having to defend the su it in

cour ts. “There may come a t ime when we podcasters have to ra ise a lega l

defense fund, and I don’t th in k we desi re going d i rect ly to the audience.”

His business is audience funded, so money g iven isn’t money donated to

c reat ion of our content.

“I’m an NPR a f f i l ia ted psudo-jour na l ist so I wouldn’t t a ke a st ance, but

I recom mend that people lea r n about the situat ion leg islat ively and contact

thei r representat ives.” X

“ I t ’s a sca ry s i tuat i on ; a very sca ry s i tuat i on . ”

- Jesse

Changing the world through spoken-word poetryB y v a n e s s a s e r p a sP h o t o s : s a m a n t h a b e n e d i c t

Youth Speaks Out

“I t’s ha rd to erase the images of young bodies ca r pet ing the

concrete, screen-pr int ing the st reets with blood.”

Power fu l spoken-word poet r y l ines such as th is one by Stephan ie Yun

a re being hea rd constant ly in a r t venues, l ibra r ies, classrooms and a l l

th roughout count r ies, st ates, and cit ies. They a re words that come f rom

a long-standing h istor y of ora l poet r y.

Words with th is much depth and author ity have been coming f rom in-

spi red youth in our society for decades. Young people nat ionwide have

been empower ing and suppor t ing each other th rough thei r poet r y with

the gu idance of mot ivat ing st a f f members f rom an organ izat ion that fo -

cuses on thei r poet ic c ra f t and provides a sa fe space to express thei r

vu lnerabi l it ies th rough a r t.

Youth Spea ks, founded in San Francisco in 1996 by James Kass is

a nat iona l non-prof it organ izat ion that provides workshops, mentor ing,

in-school poet r y programs as wel l as out-of-school open mics and work-

shops for youth under the age of twenty-one. With in these programs

teenagers a re g iven the necessa r y tools, suppor t and encouragement to

spea k about thei r l ives and then per for m thei r a r t before an audience.

Yun, a pa r t ic ipant of Youth Spea ks, has g reat ly benef ited f rom the

“suppor t and love” she received since f i r st coming to the organ izat ion.

“Th is t ransfor mat ive process that [Youth Spea ks] g ives to youth is g reat

and I want to provide that same oppor tun ity I was g iven to other youth,”

says Yun.

The k ids, who have gone th rough the workshops and at tended the open

mics, have the oppor tun ity to join in on the annua l Youth Spea ks Teen

Poet r y Slam. The month-long compet it ion for teens in the Bay A rea, be-

tween the ages of th i r teen to n ineteen provides the top six f ina l ist s with

a t r ip to Ch icago to per for m on the in famous st age of Brave New Voices.

Brave New Voices (BN V) is on ly one among the many programs r un

by Youth Spea ks. BN V br ings together young poets f rom a l l over the

world, ref lect ing the d iversity in exper iences th rough thei r poet r y. With

inter nat iona l a t tent ion, th is program has been t a ken f rom the st age to

the television with the suppor t of famous faces l i ke Russel l Sim mons,

Rosa r io Dawson and h ip -hop legends Com mon and Ta l ib Kwel i.

Kass founded Youth Spea ks because he was d isappointed “with the

lack of d iversity with in [h is] MFA program at San Francisco State.” He

X P R E S S M A G A Z I N E S u m m e r 2 0 1 3

13

was work ing on h is Masters degree in Creat ive Wr it ing at the t ime. He k new he was passionate about h is point of v iew, but soon d iscovered that the point of v iew of the youth was more impor tant.

He began with a f ive-yea r plan and a hope for at least f i f ty k ids to be interested in the program. W hat he got : f i f ty k ids in the f i r st month and the program grew to heights he never imagined.

“The d iversity was amazing,” says Kass. Not on ly were the pa r-t ic ipants d iverse in ethn icity, but they a lso va r ied in class, neighbor-hoods, age and gender. It has g rown into the lead ing nat iona l poet r y organ izat ion for youth with va r i-at ions in programs to embrace a l l adolescents.

With a foundat ion of c ivic en-gagement, youth development and visiona r y act iv ism the organ izat ion has developed numerous programs with in Youth Spea ks, as wel l as pa r tner programs. Outside of the many in-school clubs, residencies and out-of-school open mics and workshops, the organ izat ion has developed va r ious nat iona l projects that address pressing issues in so -ciety. They explore ever y th ing f rom envi ronmenta l awa reness to d iabe-tes awa reness, wh i le embracing d i-verse for ms of a r t ist ic expression, yet st i l l under the umbrel la of l it-era r y a r t s.

W hi le Youth Spea ks is open to a l l young people, the goa l is to change the percept ion of the under-pr ivi leged youth and br ing them, as thei r website m ission st ates, “ f rom the margins to the core.”

Embracing at-r isk youth

Among the numerous successfu l programs is the in-school residency program of fered for m iddle school and h igh school students for ten weeks of the school yea r. The res-idency program pa r tners a t ra ined Youth Spea ks mentor with a teach-er to develop cu r r icu lum a round

themes and topics a l ready being d iscussed in the classroom. The students, with thei r mentor, devel-op a sa fe haven to per for m thei r a r t f reely without judgment. San Fran-cisco’s cu r rent residency program is led by Ch ina ka Hodge, a pa r t ic ipant tu r ned mentor with in Youth Spea ks.

Hodge, a four teen-yea r-old new to the d ist r ic t, joined the organ i-zat ion dur ing Youth Spea ks visit to her new stomping g rounds – Berke-ley High School. “Youth Spea ks found me at the exact r ight moment and put a pen and paper in my hand when I was ser iously contemplat ing hold ing a k n i fe,” says Hodge, du r ing a da rk t ime in her l i fe when she was tor mented with sel f-dest r uct ive ten-dencies. Hodge has “been wr it ing poems as a way out” ever since and cont inues per fect ing her c ra f t as a spoken-word per for mer.

Because of her oppor tun it ies at Youth Spea ks, Hodge has t raveled the world sha r ing her inspi rat iona l poet r y and has received educat ion-a l suppor t in the pursu it of her de-g rees.

It is no wonder she is an idea l

<<

Maricar Bamba recites her poem for Youth Speaks, Teen Poetry Slams, competition during the semi-finals at the Children’s Creativity Museum.

about and there is a r ight or wrong answer, but here whatever you say can’t be wrong.”

As the program progresses, the demeanor of the students g radua l ly changes. “Once you understand that she is here to help you and under-st and you it’s the biggest th ing,” says Rashad, seventeen, another stu-dent in Hodge’s class.

Skept ic ism tu r ns into t r ust and sudden ly Hodge, once seen as an outsider, becomes “l i ke a big sis-ter,” says her seventeen-yea r-old student Gre’tu.

Th roughout the ten weeks the stu-dents a re gu ided th rough a path of sel f-d iscover y. As they a re cont in-uously encouraged to express them-selves f reely, they become more comfor table exposing vulnerabi l ity with in thei r poet r y. Thei r work be-g ins to va r y f rom stor ies of su r viv-a l, love, loss, pol it ics, d reams and emot iona l pa ins. The stor ies become more rea l because “a rea l stor y is the best stor y,” says seventeen-yea r-old ‘Mooch ie’ another pupi l.

The ha rdsh ips they exper ience becomes poet r y that not on ly up-l i f t s but a lso forces an audience to face the rea l izat ion of the constant adversity at-r isk teens a re conf ront-ed with on a da i ly basis, a t such a young age.

The students who connect and f ind rel ief th rough thei r poet ic ex-pression become so enth ra l led in thei r work, that a f ter much pract ice in the classroom, a re ready to step up and per for m on a la rger sca le.

The power in performance

Open mic per for mances in San Francisco a re held at 826 Va lencia, a pi rate -supply store with an inte-r ior that exh ibit s the ma k ings of a sh ip with exposed raw wood, col-umns and fu r n itu re to match. Ev-er y last Fr iday of the month, Youth Spea ks sets up in the back of the store for the under twenty-one open mic, open to k ids f rom a l l over the Bay A rea.

Once the DJ is set up, he g raduX P R E S S M A G A Z I N E S u m m e r 2 0 1 3

residency mentor to the students at Downtown High School, a proj-ect-based cont inuat ion school for students who have not fa i red wel l in a t rad it iona l h igh school set t ing. The teachers of Downtown High School a re t asked with developing a themat ic cu r r icu lum that requi res students to c reate a f ina l project a t the end of the semester. For pr iva-cy reasons, students wi l l on ly be refer red to by thei r f i r st name or n ick name.

With the project theme in mind, Hodge sets the tone for the poet r y exper ience for the next ten weeks with two r u les for the skept ica l ly inquisit ive students. The f i r st r u le – the st anda rd is yoursel f. It is v i-t a l to the students’ g rowth that they do not compa re thei r own work to any other person. The second r u le – there a re no wrong answers. Dur ing the poet r y class the students a re g iven the f reedom to wr ite what-ever comes to mind, therefore it is impor tant they do not feel wrong in expressing thei r feel ings.

One student, Jack ie, seventeen, says, “I’m feel in’ th is because usu-a l ly teachers wi l l say th is is the top-ic and th is is what you have to wr ite <<

Talia Taylor, MC for Youth Speaks Teen Poetry Slams, introduces the next poet at the semi-finals.

a l ly begins to ra ise the volume of

h is m ixes to signa l the beginn ing

of the open mic n ight slam as the

audience begins to lower thei r voic-

es to wh ispers that fade to si lence.

The emcee, Jerome, eighteen, with

h is m ic in hand, sk ips over to the

st age hyping up the crowd of anx-

ious, young, soon-to -per for m pa r-

t ic ipants and expectant adult s with

eager looks on thei r faces. With h is

cha r isma and humor, Jerome sets

the tone for the n ight wh i le the au-

d ience st a res back with smi l ing fac-

es as he int roduces the f i r st poet to

the mic.

The crowd er upts with suppor t-

ive clapping as the f i r st poet ma kes

thei r way to the st age im mediately

fol lowed by si lence. The poet a r-

r ives to the f ront of the mic, looks

down and t a kes a deep breath. He

then ra ises h is head and looks upon

the faces of ant ic ipat ion and he be-

g ins.

By the end of the poem the audi-

ence is so moved that they can ba re -

ly wa it to cheer fever ish ly in sup -

por t of the capt ivat ing piece of a r t

he just sha red. Th is is the scene for

the rest of the n ight. Poet a f ter poet

st ands center-st age, receiving en-

thusiast ic applause and encouraging

shout-outs.

The Youth Spea ks Youth Advi-

sor y Boa rd, a pa id inter nsh ip pro -

g ram that invites a g roup of th i r ty

young people to be the face of Youth

Spea ks, hosts open mic n ights. The

young boa rd members set up and r un

the event with mentor super vision.

The inter nsh ip teaches leader-

sh ip sk i l ls, wh ich they seem to have

ga ined th roughout the program.

“We’re not on ly spea k ing for our-

selves but for other communit ies as

wel l,” says Yun who sees the orga-

n izat ion as a refuge “where people

exchange stor ies and exper iences”

without judgment.

The benef it of access to resouces for youth

The funding of non-prof it orga-

15

n izat ions such as Youth Spea ks is

imperat ive, pa r t icu la rly for at-r isk

youth with in the Bay A rea. Many

teens with in the organ izat ion came

into the program with a past f i l led

with wrong decisions. With in Youth

Spea ks, mentors gu ided them down

a d i f ferent, posit ive path where they

found new ways to express them-

selves.

Jerome, a pa r t ic ipant of the Youth

Spea ks says, “I used to bomb bui ld-

ings with my g ra f f it i. Youth Spea ks

red i rected me f rom wr it ing on wa l ls

to wr it ing on paper.”

Tatyana, seventeen and a Down-

town High School student says,

“without poet r y I was a lways get-

t ing into stuf f and with it I’m a l-

ways at home doing what I need to

do and my mom l ikes it .”

Th rough Youth Spea ks the stu-

dents f ina l ly feel l i ke they a re being

hea rd. Rashad says, “I a lways felt

l i ke I had someth ing to say and no-

body l istened to me.” He now has ac-

cess to a resource and the gu idance

to express h is feel ings and even has

lea r ned to process events in h is l i fe

th rough h is poet r y. He has found

that “you can wr ite about an a rgu-

ment and look at it la ter, then you

can know how to avoid the situat ion

or work in the situat ion and it helps

you feel bet ter to k now you have the

power to do that.”

They feel the empower ment and

conf idence to accompl ish thei r

goa ls. W hen asked what they want-

ed to be when they g rew up, the

f i r st one to perk up, ready to answer

was Jack ie. She sa id, “I want to be

a lawyer, a masseuse and a rea l es-

t ate agent.” The students a round her

sn ickered, someth ing she’s used to,

but accord ing to her noth ing wi l l

“Youth Speaks found me at the exact r i ght

moment and put a pen and paper i n my

hand when I was ser i ous l y contemp lat i ng

ho l d i ng a kn i fe , ”-Ch i naka Hodge

“I used to bomb bui ldings with my

graffiti . Youth Speaks redirected me

from writing on wal ls to writing on

paper.”

stop her. She wi l l “get there by

focusing and put t ing [her] goa ls

before any th ing.” The author ity and

deter minat ion in her voice seems

convincing enough to quiet the g ig-

gles of the other students.

W hen Kass went on th is new

ventu re to c reate Youth Spea ks, he

hoped to have a smal l for um for

f ree expression for the youth in San

Francisco. He never imagined that

he would be the founder of an orga-

n izat ion that not on ly inspi res youth

to spea k up about pressing issues in

society, but is the cata lyst for a com-

plete t ransfor mat ion in thei r l ives.

“I cant rea l ly see what my l i fe

would be without them, I’ve been

with Youth Spea ks a lmost four teen

yea rs you k now, ha l f my l i fe. It’s

l i ke fami ly, ” says Hodge.

Many k ids with in the program

sha re th is sent iment. Because th is

resource for suppor t and expression

has been provided to them, it has be -

come the foundat ion on which they

have bui lt thei r l i fe upon to become

the empowered and inspi rat iona l

leaders they a re now. XX P R E S S M A G A Z I N E S u m m e r 2 0 1 3<<

Val Torio recites his poem for Youth Speaks Teen Poetry Slams competi-tion during the semi-finals

-Jerome

M in iature Libraries are poppin g up on si dewalks an d front lawns aroun d th e worldB y : N i c o l e e l l i sP h o t o s : j e s s i c a w o r t h i n g t o n

little libraries with a big message

I t’s a bi rdfeeder! It’s a ma i lbox! No, it’s a l ibra r y!Walk ing past K it t redge School on 25th Avenue and La ke St reet in

the R ichmond Dist r ic t sit s a wooden box that measures about twen-ty- th ree inches wide and eighteen inches h igh. The r ust ic look ing box is nest led in the cor ner of the school’s f ront steps and holds books that have been donated by the students’ pa rents and com munity members.

People in c it ies a round the nat ion a re bu i ld ing smal l l ibra r ies and mount ing them in thei r ya rds, schools, and neighborhoods. Each Lit t le Free Libra r y is un ique. There’s no r u les or rest r ic t ions when bui ld ing a l ibra r y.

17

<<

Above: The Little Free Li-brary at Kittredge School in San Francisco’s Richmond district provides children with the ability to take a book or leave a book.

“They t a lked to it l i ke it was a brand new puppy and I rea l ized it was someth ing ver y specia l,” says Bol. His mission of fusing l iteracy and com munity has made it s way to the Bay A rea.

Buying a l ibra r y is simple. “I bought it on l ine f rom the Lit t le Free Libra r y website,” says Smit-ty. “They fused together two old and weathered cranber r y crates f rom the 1950s and then added a swinging door.” The l ibra r ies can be ordered on l ine and range f rom $250 to $630. Order ing the st r uc-tu res on l ine isn’t the on ly opt ion. Lit t le Free Libra r y promotes c re -at iv ity. Thei r website has inst r uc-t ions on how to bui ld a l ibra r y f rom scratch. Those guidel ines a re a lso up to inter pretat ion but they do of fer genera l pr inciples to bu i ld by: use recycled mater ia ls i f possi-ble, bu i ld the l ibra r y to last, ma ke it sa fe, ma ke su re the sign is v isi-ble, and don’t be sca red to ma ke it fun ky and d i f ferent.

“In the equat ion, it should be reduce, reuse, repur pose, and then f ina l ly recycle,” says Bol. “Re-cycl ing should be the last of the th ings. We’re not one hundred per-cent per fect, but we cer t a in ly ma ke a lot of movement toward that.”

A loca l Lit t le Free Libra r y that’s m issed the map’s rada r is located at a residence on Sut ter St reet in the Lower Paci f ic Heights d ist r ic t. Bol bel ieves th is is one of about four hundred l ibra r ies in San Fran-cisco that haven’t been registered on l ine. Having the l ibra r ies appea r on the Lit t le Free Libra r ies map wi l l pinpoint the locat ion of each box in ever y neighborhood. “We’ve not iced it opens up neighborhoods and gets people to t a lk,” says Bol.

Lit t le Free Libra r ies is a c re -at ive way to br ing communit ies to -gether. “A good f r iend of m ine says Facebook has demonst rated how we need someth ing, how we need to connect and network,” Bol says. “But what we rea l ly want to do net-work wise is we want to connect face- to -face.” X

San Francisco has on ly one l isted on the Lit t le Free Libra r y’s on l ine map— Kit t redge’s.

Lit t le Free Libra r y began in 20 09 as a non-prof it by a Wis-consin organ izat ion ca l led Sus-t a inAbi l ity. The concept of c reat-ing an ea r th -f r iendly com munity sha red l ibra r y was st a r ted by two ent repreneurs, Todd Bol and R ick Brooks. Bol and Brooks’ c reat ion has inspi red over f ive thousand Lit t le Free Libra r ies in th i r ty-six count r ies.

Bol was the f i r st to bu i ld a l it t le l ibra r y. In May of 20 09, Bol and h is wi fe had a ga rage sa le and he not iced h is customers’ excitement when they saw the l it t le l ibra r y.

A San Francisco h ippie might want to pa int thei rs colored. A fa r mer in Georgia might want to recreate a ba r n look by pa int ing the l ibra r y red, d ist ressing the wood, and adding a white t r im. The opt ions a re endless.

Like the l ibra r ies themselves, the books can be just as eccent r ic. “We suggest that people donate books that have inspi red them, says Smit ty, a pa rent of a K it t redge stu-dent who donated the l ibra r y. “It is n ice when someone leaves a note at t ached tel l ing why the book was specia l to them.” The concept is easy— ta ke a book, leave a book. Donat ions a re welcome, but un l i ke a c ity owned l ibra r y, you don’t have to retu r n the book i f you fa l l it love with it . And l i ke the name says, it’s f ree!

Out of the thousands of Lit t le Free Libra r ies a round the world,

“ i t i s n i ce when someone l eaves a note attached te l l i ng why the book was spec ia l to them . ”

- Smitty

X P R E S S M A G A Z I N E s u m m m e r 2 0 1 3

B y r h y s a l v a r a d oP h o t o s j e s s i c a w o r t h i n g t o n

LOVEIN THE

DIGITAL AGE

People say I’m old fash ioned.And I don’t blame them.I l isten to old soul cuts of Sam Cooke and The Nat K ing Cole Tr io rel ig iously. I d r in k

old fash ioneds when I go to the ba r (a good measure of a good ba r tender). And I’m st i l l sea rch ing for the th ief who’s been snagging my weekday subscr ipt ion to The New York Times.

Maybe the last one’s just me get t ing old. Rega rd less, I’d say my peers a re r ight.Even when it comes to f ind ing love, I’ve a lways rel ied on chance or meet ing people

th rough f r iends. But l iv ing in a “get-it-or-get-out” k ind of c ity l i ke San Francisco, where I’m at tending class four days a week, inter n ing for a socia l media st a r tup and wa it ing t ables on the weekends — I f ind mysel f too busy to f ind love. Having been sin-gle for a lmost a yea r wh i le t r ying to keep up with a to -do l ist that just never seems to end, the idea of c reat ing an on l ine dat ing prof i le has on ly sounded sweeter as the gap between me and my last g i rl f r iend has g rown.

I was t im id about put t ing mysel f out into the d ig it a l spect r um of f ind ing love —and somet imes lust— over the Inter net because I d idn’t th in k I k new anyone involved in a successfu l relat ionsh ip that began on l ine. I thought wrong. One of my aunts met her husband in an on l ine chat room. My cur rent room mate met h is g i rl f r iend on Match.com. My old const r uct ion boss met h is f iancee on l ine too, with plans to ma r r y in the spr ing.

Hindu ast rologers would pick mates based on the st a rs back in a t ime when match-ma kers were once a st aple in a l l cu ltu res. But in today’s f idgety gadget-g rasping age, the Inter net is the way 40 mi l l ion out of 54 mi l l ion singles in the United States a re t r ying to date. A 2010 study by Match.com revea ls that one in f ive commit ted relat ion-sh ips have begun on l ine. There a re websites that help users f ind a compat ible pa r tner based on persona l ity test s. Phone apps l i ke Tinder that use the GPS in your phone to meet people nea rby, NOW. Today, matchma k ing websites a re t a i lored to ever y th ing f rom women look ing for a suga r daddy to sea capta ins seek ing a f i r st mate.

Bay A rea dat ing coach Jessica Engel is in the business of helping people f ind suc-cessfu l relat ionsh ips in person and on l ine. Most of her cl ients a re ma les in the tech indust r y who don’t have the sk i l ls to put themselves out in an at t ract ive way and busy professiona l women who a ren’t sat isf ied with the men that they’re meet ing. Engel pro -motes to her cl ients that on l ine dat ing is one of many avenues for people to connect. Engel says that the negat ive st igma of on l ine dat ing most ly l ies with older generat ions whi le younger ones that g rew up with socia l media seem to be more accept ing.

“A lot of people have th is incultu rated view of love that says we have to wa it for fate for it to happen, but we don’t have the same st r uctu res we were used to. We’re no longer being matched by our pa rents or th rough church g roups,” Engel says.

Matchmaking in the 90s

Robby Robbins has worked in the adver t ising depa r tment for a lter nat ive week ly pub -l icat ions for more than twenty yea rs. In the glor y days of persona l ads and the classi-f ied sect ion, week l ies l i ke the Indy Week in Durham, Nor th Ca rol ina, capit a l ized on $40,0 0 0 in revenue each month. Fol lowing Cra igsl ist’s spread to c it ies across the na-t ion in 20 0 0— and it s widely accepted use— adver t ising revenues in the persona l and classi f ied sect ions im mediately sh r un k.

“St i l l to th is day, th is was the ugl iest web f ight. We went f rom $40,0 0 0 to $5,0 0 0 over n ight,” Robbins says.

Each day, Robbins would assist people in placing persona l ads in the newspaper who were in sea rch of any th ing f rom a f l ing to a fu l l-f ledged relat ionsh ip.

“It was a phenomena going on across the count r y, and in Durham we had a massive

X P R E S S M A G A Z I N E s u m m e r 2 0 1 3

where the opt ions a re endless,” Sep -u lveda says. “You a l ready k now go-ing in that you’re seeing someone you’re a l ready compat ible with.”

Sepulveda was able to convince her h igh school f r iend to t r y on l ine dat ing. He’s now expect ing a ch i ld with h is computer love. W henever and wherever they can, the couple is t r ying to remove the negat ive st igma aga inst on l ine dat ing.

“People ask me how we met, and a f ter I t el l them we met on OkCupid, they say ‘that’s okay,’” Sepulveda says. “Like I need reassu rance that it’s okay. I know it’s okay.”

Sepulveda says that she k nows of couples who have met on l ine, but a re ashamed to admit they d id. Instead, they say that they met elsewhere.

“Some th in k people who use on-l ine dat ing need it to meet people,” Sepulveda says. “I feel l i ke it’s a sma r t way to meet people.”

W hat st a r ted out as an obsession of t a k ing on l ine persona l ity qu iz-zes, t u r ned into a way of ma k ing f r iends whi le at tending col lege in San Diego. It wasn’t unt i l Sepulve-da moved to San Francisco in 20 09 when she used OkCupid to f ind dates. Kathy and Ph i l began chat-t ing with each other a yea r before dat ing. At the t ime, Kathy had st a r t

Kathy Sepulveda and her boy-f r iend Ph i l Van Stockum have be-come on l ine dat ing evangel ist s.

The couple, who have been dat ing for two and a ha l f yea rs, t a ke ever y oppor tun ity they can to tel l f r iends about how on l ine dat ing is THEE way to date.

“Onl ine is rea l ly l i ke a la rge ba r

“ I d i d , because as a gay man i n the south , meet i ng a rea l person was d i ff i cu l t . I n the south , you’d get you r ass beat i f you h i t on the wrong guy , ”

audience of busy professiona ls ap-proach ing th i r ty who weren’t ma r-r ied yet,” Robbins says. “It was a r ipe oppor tun ity for th is system to work.”

The system catered to most ly sin-gle men, who Robbins says were not in tuned and d id not have the socia l meet ing sk i l ls to int roduce them-selves and say “h i.”

“I used to tel l folks that the an-swer is going to be ‘no’ unt i l you put yoursel f out there,” Robbins says. “I f you’re d i rect about what you want, you may be su r pr ised about what you’l l f ind.”

Robbins managed what were ca l led Bl ind Boxes, where custom-ers could establ ish pen pa l relat ion-sh ips by paying $10 a week to have ma i l for wa rded to them. Robbins was a lso in cha rge of promot ing the 90 0 -number ser vices, where peo -ple c reated a voicemai l for others to leave a message on at $1.99 per minute.

“We promoted it as a sa fe way to meet people,” Robbins says.

In order to k now what he was promot ing, he c reated a voicemai l for h imsel f.

“I d id, because as a gay man in the South, meet ing a rea l person was d i f f icu lt . In the South, you’d get your ass beat i f you h it on the wrong guy,” Robbins says.

Having just lef t a ser ious rela-t ionsh ip, Robbins wasn’t look ing for any th ing ser ious. Neither was ca l ler No. four, Br yan O’Quinn.

“He just sounded n ice. You can tel l a good bit f rom someone’s voice,” Robbins says.

Four months la ter, Robby and Br yan moved in together. In 20 0 0, the couple d rove to Ver mont dur ing a massive snowstor m to engage in a c ivi l un ion. In 20 06, they moved to Ca l i for n ia and were lega l ly ma r r ied in 20 08.

“Al l the hoops that we jumped th rough—four teen yea rs and we’re f ina l ly lega l,” Robbins says.

Dating in the onl ine era21

-robbins

where the opt ions a re endless,” Sep -u lveda says. “You a l ready k now go-ing in that you’re seeing someone you’re a l ready compat ible with.”

Sepulveda was able to convince her h igh school f r iend to t r y on l ine dat ing. He’s now expect ing a ch i ld with h is computer love. W henever and wherever they can, the couple is t r ying to remove the negat ive st igma aga inst on l ine dat ing.

“People ask me how we met, and a f ter I t el l them we met on OkCupid, they say ‘that’s okay,’” Sepulveda says. “Like I need reassu rance that it’s okay. I know it’s okay.”

Sepulveda says that she k nows of couples who have met on l ine, but a re ashamed to admit they d id. Instead, they say that they met elsewhere.

“Some th in k people who use on-l ine dat ing need it to meet people,” Sepulveda says. “I feel l i ke it’s a sma r t way to meet people.”

W hat st a r ted out as an obsession of t a k ing on l ine persona l ity qu iz-zes, t u r ned into a way of ma k ing f r iends whi le at tending col lege in San Diego. It wasn’t unt i l Sepulve-da moved to San Francisco in 20 09 when she used OkCupid to f ind dates. Kathy and Ph i l began chat-t ing with each other a yea r before dat ing. At the t ime, Kathy had st a r t

Kathy Sepulveda and her boy-f r iend Ph i l Van Stockum have be-come on l ine dat ing evangel ist s.

The couple, who have been dat ing for two and a ha l f yea rs, t a ke ever y oppor tun ity they can to tel l f r iends about how on l ine dat ing is THEE way to date.

“Onl ine is rea l ly l i ke a la rge ba r

“ I d i d , because as a gay man i n the south , meet i ng a rea l person was d i ff i cu l t . I n the south , you’d get you r ass beat i f you h i t on the wrong guy , ”

audience of busy professiona ls ap-proach ing th i r ty who weren’t ma r-r ied yet,” Robbins says. “It was a r ipe oppor tun ity for th is system to work.”

The system catered to most ly sin-gle men, who Robbins says were not in tuned and d id not have the socia l meet ing sk i l ls to int roduce them-selves and say “h i.”

“I used to tel l folks that the an-swer is going to be ‘no’ unt i l you put yoursel f out there,” Robbins says. “I f you’re d i rect about what you want, you may be su r pr ised about what you’l l f ind.”

Robbins managed what were ca l led Bl ind Boxes, where custom-ers could establ ish pen pa l relat ion-sh ips by paying $10 a week to have ma i l for wa rded to them. Robbins was a lso in cha rge of promot ing the 90 0 -number ser vices, where peo -ple c reated a voicemai l for others to leave a message on at $1.99 per minute.

“We promoted it as a sa fe way to meet people,” Robbins says.

In order to k now what he was promot ing, he c reated a voicemai l for h imsel f.

“I d id, because as a gay man in the South, meet ing a rea l person was d i f f icu lt . In the South, you’d get your ass beat i f you h it on the wrong guy,” Robbins says.

Having just lef t a ser ious rela-t ionsh ip, Robbins wasn’t look ing for any th ing ser ious. Neither was ca l ler No. four, Br yan O’Quinn.

“He just sounded n ice. You can tel l a good bit f rom someone’s voice,” Robbins says.

Four months la ter, Robby and Br yan moved in together. In 20 0 0, the couple d rove to Ver mont dur ing a massive snowstor m to engage in a c ivi l un ion. In 20 06, they moved to Ca l i for n ia and were lega l ly ma r r ied in 20 08.

“Al l the hoops that we jumped th rough—four teen yea rs and we’re f ina l ly lega l,” Robbins says.

Dating in the onl ine era21

-robbins

t racted, we chat ted over a couple beers du r ing happy hour and made our way to another joint for a fa re-wel l cock ta i l. We laughed. Relat-ed. I wa lked her to BA RT and sa id goodbye.

Phew. W hat a rel ief. On l ine dat-ing might be r ight for some, but a l it t le much for me. W ho knows? Maybe we’l l a l l look back 50 yea rs f rom now and f ind that on l ine meth-ods of matchma k ing lead to the most successfu l relat ionsh ips.

But what’s a good jour na l ist with-out a good stor y?

I th in k I’l l s top look ing so ha rd for love and let it f ind me.

I’d l i ke to hold on the romant ic idea that I’l l f ind someone doing what I love, lost on my t ravels, com-ing a round a st reet cor ner the same t ime as she. We’l l bump into each other and she’l l d rop a copy of Hem-ingway’s “The Old Man and The Sea.” We’l l ag ree that it’s ou r favor-ite book and spend the rest of the even ing on a blan ket nea r the ocean t a lk ing about the t r ia ls and t r iumph of the old man’s noble catch. Or someth ing a long those l ines.

That sounds l i ke a bet ter stor y to me.

Ba r tender, you k now what I’m having. X

<<

Kathy Sepulveda and her boyfriend Phil Van Stoc-kum met on OkCupid two and a half years ago.

23

more pictu res and whether or not they have a Skype account so that he can conf i r m thei r ident ity before actua l ly meet ing up.

“As fa r as I can go, I’l l play Co-lombo,” Vi l lanueva says.

He says that there were even a few instances when people l ied about thei r age. Vi l lanueva says that the speedy hook-ups that qu ick-f i r ing apps l i ke Gr indr and Tinder can lead to, could be r isky to underage people who can access these conver-sat ions.

“Technology is moving so fast, I’m sca red for the youth to have physica l contact. It’s so easy for the youth to have th is access—it can be dangerous,” Vi l lanueva says.

My date

W hat bet ter way to pass the t ime on Muni than to sweep th rough ran-dom women’s prof i les, x’ing them out or g iving them the g reen l ight? Af ter a few weeks of chat t ing on OkCupid and Tinder, I was able to l ine up a date for a few d r in ks in the Tenderloin.

Wait ing at the end of the ba r at the Owl Tree my pa lms were sweaty, my pulse uneasy as i f I was inter r upt ing l i fe’s f low and forcing fate. I wa ited twenty minutes, gu lping away at a pint of Lagun it as faster than usua l, my buzz not coming quick enough.

Would her prof i le look any th ing l i ke her? W hat i f I choke up and can’t f ind any th ing to say? Am I about to f ind the g i rl that I’m going to spend my whole l i fe with r ight now?

Then there she was, st anding at the door way, black ha i r and back facing me. I stepped up f rom my ba rstool and made my way towa rd her. As i f my move had cued hers, she tu r ned a round.

She looked noth ing l i ke she d id in her prof i le pic. One word: side-bur ns. My sources wa r ned me about th is.

But that was okay. A lthough I wasn’t physica l ly at-