Writing Wrongs:Expressive Writing to Facilitate Forgiveness

Catherine R. Barber, Ph.D.School of Education

barbercr@stthom.edu

What forgiveness is (and isn’t) Benefits of forgiveness Obstacles to forgiveness

◦ Rumination Facilitating forgiveness

◦ Empathy Expressive writing

◦ A “how to” primer

Overview

Matthew 18:21-22New American Bible

Then Peter approaching asked him, “Lord, if my brother sins against me, how often must I forgive him? As many as seven times?”

Jesus answered, “I say to you, not seven times but seventy-seven times….”

Lack of consensus! Focus typically more on the intrapersonal

than the interpersonal Change in thoughts, feelings, and behaviors

◦ “Positive vs. Negative” Controversy Unconditional vs. conditional

How Do Psychologists Define Forgiveness?

Denying Excusing Forgetting Reconciliation?

What Forgiveness Is Not

-- Attributed to various sources.

To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover the prisoner was you.

Psychological◦ Anxiety◦ Depression◦ Relationship Satisfaction

Physical◦ Mediator of the religiousness – health link◦ Cardiovascular

Benefits

-- Oscar Wilde

Always forgive your enemies;nothing annoys them so much.

Intent/Blameworthiness Ongoing anger Rumination

Obstacles to Forgiveness

Apology (sometimes!) Relationship factors Empathy

Facilitating Forgiveness

Pennebaker paradigm ◦ “Deepest thoughts and feelings about an event”

Can be tailored to a specific situation Small but robust effect sizes Cognitive restructuring

What Is Expressive Writing?

Published studies◦ Romero (2008): empathy and benefit-finding◦ McCullough et al. (2006): benefit-finding◦ Stratton et al. (2008): general essay

Forgiveness-Based Expressive Writing

Recent projects◦ Baylor Psychiatry Clinic data◦ Veterans project

Forgiveness-Based Expressive Writing

Start with a single offense and a single offender.

Examine the pros and cons of forgiving vs. not forgiving this person.

Think about times when you have needed forgiveness.

Make the choice to forgive.

How to Start

Start with a written description of what happened, who did what to whom, etc.

Describe your thoughts and feelings about the person and the event.

Try to empathize with the one who hurt you. See the offender as a person.◦ Note that this does not mean excusing the

offender or suggesting that what happened wasn’t wrong.

How to Start

Keep practicing until you notice an increase in empathy and a decrease in hurt/anger.

Continue to commit to your choice to forgive.◦ Forgiveness is rarely a one-time event in the case

of more severe offenses. Decide whether positive behaviors toward

the other person might be helpful.

How to Start

“I never realized how soothing writing could be. I have started writing in a journal almost every other day. It really organizes my thoughts.”

“I wrote what I felt and [it] helped me to talk [with another person about the incident], because then I didn’t keep [my feelings] bottled up inside, which would in the end cause more pain.”

Participant Quotes

“At first I saw [writing] as just doing this to get the [course] credits. After the two weeks when I had finished my journaling, I felt better about the person who hurt me….It seems weird to say that some psychology graduate student research helped me work through a major problem in my life, but it did. I now see how valuable journaling is.”

Participant Quotes

-- Anonymous Participant

“Thank you for helping me bring closure to my past.”

Forgiveness is a choice to reduce negative thoughts, feelings, and behaviors and (perhaps) replace them with positive ones.

Forgiveness has numerous psychological benefits, and increasing evidence points to physical benefits.

Expressive writing appears to be helpful for facilitating forgiveness.

Conclusions

Braithwaite, S. R., Selby, E. A., & Fincham, F. D. (2011). Forgiveness and relationship satisfaction: Mediating mechanisms. Journal of Family Psychology, 25, 551-559.

Fehr, R., Gelfand, M. J., & Nag, M. (2010). The road to forgiveness: A meta-analytic synthesis of its situational and dispositional correlates. Psychological Bulletin, 136, 894-914.

Freedman, S., & Chang, W. R. (2010). An Analysis of a Sample of the General Population’s Understanding of Forgiveness: Implications for Mental Health Counselors. Journal of Mental Health Counseling, 32, 5-34.

Frisina, P. G., Borod, J. C., & Lepore, S. J. (2004). A Meta-Analysis of the Effects of Written Emotional Disclosure on the Health Outcomes of Clinical Populations. Journal of Nervous & Mental Disease, 192, 629-634.

Harris, A. H. S. (2006). Does Expressive Writing Reduce Health Care Utilization? A Meta-Analysis of Randomized Trials. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 74, 243-252.

Lawler-Row, K. A. (2010). Forgiveness as a mediator of the religiosity – health relationship. Psychology of Religion and Spirituality, 2, 1-16.

Lawler-Row, K. A., Karremans, J. C., Scott, C., Edlis-Matityahou, M., & Edwards, L. (2008). Forgiveness, physiological reactivity and health: the role of anger. International Journal of Psychophysiology, 68, 51-58. 

References

Luchies, L. B., Finkel, E. J., McNulty, J. K., & Kumashiro, M. (2010). The doormat effect: When forgiving erodes self-respect and self-concept clarity. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 98, 734-749.

McCullough, M. E., Root, L. M., & Cohen, A. D. (2006). Writing about the benefits of an interpersonal transgression facilitates forgiveness. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 74, 887-897.

Pronk, T. M., Karremans, J. C., Overbeek, G., Vermulst, A. A., & Wigboldus, D., A., G. (2010). What it takes to forgive: When and why executive functioning facilitates forgiveness. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 98, 119-131.

Romero, C. (2008). Writing wrongs: An intervention to promote forgiveness. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 25, 625-642.

Stratton, S. P., Dean, J. B., Nonneman, A. J., Bode, R. A., & Worthington, E. L. Jr. (2008). Forgiveness interventions as spiritual development strategies: Comparing forgiveness workshop training, expressive writing about forgiveness, and retested controls. Journal of Psychology and Christianity, 27, 347-357.

Witvliet, C.V. O., Ludwig, T. E. & Vander Laan, K. L. (2001). Granting forgiveness or harboring grudges: Implications for emotion, physiology, and health. Psychological Science, 121, 117-123.

Zechmeister, J. S., Garcia, F., Romero, C., & Vas, S. N. (2004).  Don’t apologize unless you mean it: An empirical investigation of determinants of forgiveness.  Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, 23, 532-564.

References

Thank you!

For a copy of the slides, please email me at barbercr@stthom.edu.