WRITING EFFECTIVE HEADLINESWritten by:

Lynn C. KarnsGraduate student

Arizona State UniversitySubmitted to:

Dr. Karen Beyard-TylerEDT 502 Design & Educational Technology

Arizona State UniversityArtwork by:

Dennis RawlingsSenior, Greenway High School

Edited by: Prototype testing by:Ms. Judy Ruch Ms. Peggy GregoryDepartment of Journalism English/Journalism Teacher Arizona State University Greenway High School

December 1, 1980

INTRODUCTION

As a headline writer, you face in the beginning what seems a nearly impossible task. From the perhaps 500 words of a story in front of you, three or four or five must tell the story. In addition, you must do it according to a rather strict set of guidelines.

The initial purpose of the headline is to attract the attention of the readers and draw them into the story. When you look at the newspaper, what do you read first? Headlines are your first impression of a story. When you meet someone new at school, your first impression will tell you whether or not you want to get to know that person better. If your impression of the story is favorable, you will want to read the story. As a headline writer, you must let the reader know that the story contains something of interest. Thus, we come to the second purpose of a headline: to pick out the key element of that story and summarize it for the reader so the reader can make an intelligent decision about whether or not that story will be valuable to read.

Headline writing rules help to insure that the headlines provide an accurate and interesting summary of the story. All newspapers are different, however. Some are relaxed and some are strict. If you learn to write and confirm a strict set of rules, you can easily adapt to a more relaxed environment.

In this unit you will be presented with 10 rules for writing headlines. All examples and practice items were taken directly from high school newspapers. Whether you are evaluating the examples of headlines given or writing your own headlines, you will be expected to adhere closely to the rules.

Writing headlines gives you the opportunity to read many stories and use your own creativity. When you write a story, you spend a lot of time researching one subject. However, spending that time writing headlines, you have the opportunity to read about many subjects. Finding the right words to fit into a particular space can be highly frustrating, but it becomes highly rewarding when the pieces fall into place.

RULE1The headline should be a summary of the story taken from the information in the lead

paragraphs.

You recall in news writing, you learned that news story is written as an inverted pyramid with the most important facts in the first two paragraphs, which is called the lead. Since very few people can read all the stories in a newspaper, this provides the basic information about an event. (Who, what, where, when, why, and how) Since the purpose of the headline is to call attention to and summarize the news story, the information in the headline should come from the lead.

Read the following story. Where do you find your information for the headline?

The trumpeter has received a first class rating for the second semester of the 1979-80 school year.

According to the National Scholastic Press Association (NSPA) critical service, a First Class rating indicates the quality of the Trumpeteer ranges from good to excellent.

The newspaper also received a Mark of Distinction in Editorial Leadership and Opinion Features.

The newspaper is critiqued each semester according to NSPA to “offer student newspaper staffs an outside authorative opinion of their publications, suggestions on how to improve them, a measurement of how their product compares with those being published in similar situations and a recognition of their efforts through honor ratings.”

According to the five judges, who are professional journalists, “Strong leadership is found in the Trumpeteer, as “sound journalism—strong news and editorials.” “Well-packaged” was also used in describing the newspaper.

Trumpeteer has received First Class ratings consecutively throughout the six years Sponsor Frank Mann has been journalism adviser.

Looking at Fred’s headline in the cartoon on the previous page, you can see he emphasizes information found in the body of the story. In doing so, he missed the most important element of the story which is found in the lead.

After reading the following story, choose the headline which best summarizes the lead and mark an A by your answer.

With the help of several friends, Mike Cupell, government and free enterprise and anthropology teacher, wrote a book entitled “Bow Hunting in Arizona.”

Six years ago the formed a committee and began to compile records of all big game killed by bow hunters in Arizona.

They knew eventually they’d put the records into book form, including in the book articles about animals to hunt with a bow, and situations in which a hunter may find himself. About a year ago they began to organize the book and set a publication date deadline for August 20, 1980. It was a month early.

The decision to self-publish the book was made to save money as well as the fact that they felt they would publish the book themselves if the material was well organized. They found a good printer and binder, according to Cuppel.

“Out of the 2,000 copies printed, 1,300 are already sold by a pre-sale, ‘word-of-mouth’ and through archery stores. If anyone is interested in buying a book, they should come and see me, “said Cuppel.

“We were told by the printer to sell our book at $12.50 pre copy because of its superior quality. We’re selling tem for $8.50 per copy because we’re a non-profit organization. We wrote the book as a service rather than to make a lot of money,” said Cuppel.

“People familiar with this type of book have commented that it’s the best of this type they’ve ever seen. It’s a warm feeling when others have read what you’ve written and have improved themselves as a result,” said Cuppel.

_____1. Superior quality sells book copies.

_____2. Teacher writes bow hunting book.

_____3. Teacher selling book for $12.50.

_____4. Self-publisher sells book to hunters.

_____5. ‘Warm feelings’ brought by book.

RULE2 The headline should be a complete statement with a subject and a verb either expressed or implied. Forms of the verb “to be” (am, are, is, was, were) are usually implied.

A headline without a verb turns into a label. A label does not and cannot summarize the story or inform the reader. Read the following headlines.

Faulty: Student Council minutes

Faulty: Mud pies and puddle-jumping

The headline, “Student Council minutes”, does not contain a verb and is considered a label. Since the headline writer has not taken the time to tell the readers what is unusual or different about this story, the readers will most likely be uninterested in attempting to find out this information for themselves. Would you be interested in plowing through the minutes of a meeting to find out what Student Council did?

The second headline, “Mud pies and puddle jumping”, does follow the first goal of a good headline: to attract attention. However, since the reader is not given a hint about who is doing what to whom, the reader may be confused and consequently lose interest in the story.

Forms of the verb “to be” are weak verbs. In the headline writing, they are implied but not expressed. Sometimes we can eliminate the verb “to be” by finding a stronger verb. For example:

Faulty: Basketball star is valedictorian

Better: Basketball star posts top grades

When each line of the headline contains a separate thought, each line should have a verb. In the cartoon on the previous page, Fred’s headline lacks a verb in the first line. What about the newspaper evaluation? In the second line, he used a weak verb “is”. Try reading the second line leaving out “is”. Although this line would be unacceptable without the “is” in your news story, it is perfectly acceptable in headline writing.

Read the following headlines. Place a (X) in the black in the front of those headlines which are labels or which use a form of the verb “to be”.

__________1. FBLA conferences__________2. Leap Year Tradition__________3. Graduates given top awards__________4. ‘Jerk’ wild and crazy__________5.Love, Hate and Yogurt__________6.For past experiences and future challenges__________7.Central first in league finals__________8.Stelzer is January student

RULE3 Use strong action verbs. Avoid use of passive voice. Do not begin a headline with a verb.

Strong verbs are the very essence of good headline writing. Too often headline writers are trapped by only a couple of verbs that dictate all of the headlines. In fact, it isn’t too unusual to scan a page and see several headlines using the same verb. For example, the following three headlines not only the same page but on the same third of the page.

Frosh team Basketball team setssets goal goals for best seasonfor season

Pom, Cheer linesSet switch off day

This particular verb, “set”, is used so often it should be outlawed.

Compare the following headlines.

Weak: Cagers beat Lions, 47-0

Stronger: Cagers wallop Lions, 47-0

Which do you believe is the more descriptive headline? Obviously wallop has more impact, but it would be a poor choice of verbs if the score was 16-15. What verb could you use then?

Active verbs are more dynamic than passive verbs. The passive verb s a verb phrase consisting of some form of “be” plus the past participle. Active verbs are preferred because the subject does the action rather than the subject being acted upon. For example, “Jack throws the ball”. “The ball is thrown by Jack.” In the first sentence, the subject Jack is doing the acting. In the second, subject ball is being acted upon. Read the following headlines.

Passive: Resolution passed by a Student Council

Passive: Dress code debated

You could easily change the first headline into active voice by changing the headline to “Student Council passes Resolution,” in which Student Council, the subject, does the acting. If you rewrite the second headline, not only will you improve the verb but you give the reader more information. “School Board debates dress code.”

Do not begin a headline with a verb. When you begin with a verb, the headline turns into a command or a question neither of which is a desirable in a well-written headline.

Command: Turn in your books

Question: Are you a creaper sneeper?

Look at the cartoon on the previous page. Fred missed the mark again. His headline is passive and weak.

Read the following headlines. Check those headlines which have passive verbs or begin with a verb.

__________1. McClintock narrowly nips Tempe__________2. Colleges plagued by declining ethnics__________3. Cantrell reaches National Teen Finals__________4. Sing it out, MHS Choir__________5. Was Career Day successful? __________6. Gymnasts soar to new heights

RULE4 Use only present and future tense in the headline. Use the present tense to describe present and past events and the future tense or the infinitive for future events.

Using only the present or future tense lends an air of immediately to the event. Because most high school newspapers publish every two to six weeks, a school newspaper is plagued with stories which are out of date. Using the present tense instead of past helps the reader overcome an initial negative attitude towards old news. Compare the following two headlines.

Incorrect/Past: Bulldogs defeated Pirates

Correct/Present: Bulldogs defeat Pirates

Your readers will know the event has already happened, but they won’t be lulled to sleep by the past.

Future events may be expressed with the infinitive form or the future tense of the verb. An infinitive is a verbal generally consisting of “to” followed by a verb (to live, to work, to laugh). However, remember that only in headline writing can the infinitive take the place of a verb, For example:

Infinitive: Superintendent to dedicate new classrooms

Future: Superintendent will dedicate new classrooms

Many journalists prefer the infinitive to the future tense, because they claim it is “snappier”. For the purpose of this unit, use the one that fits. Both forms are acceptable.

Fred’s use of the past tense in the cartoon on the previous page will not attract many readers. How many people will read a story they believe happened so long ago that they should have heard about it already?

Read the following headlines. Check those headlines which are written in the wrong tense.

1. Student Council attended workshop2. Pueblo attempting to rope Chargers3. Student conducted workshop on solar energy4. Activity card to save dollars5. Patio changes will start in November

RULE5 The headline should contain as many facts as is possible. Avoid wooden headlines.

A wooden headline states the obvious. It is “old hat” or offers nothing new or informative. Examine the wooden headline below.

Wooden: Student Council meets

Wooden: JV practices

Wooden: Club hold meeting

In each case the headline is only stating what each of these groups does regularly. Who cares? The editor should examine the story to see what makes this story different from other stories. What are the key elements in the story? Remember, readers want to know how this story affects them in their lives. If there are no other facts in these stories, then the story itself is faulty and probably does not belong in the newspaper. Let’s see how we can change the first headline. Examine the headline below. What is the key element?

Revised: Student Council approves Revised dressed code

More than likely, most students will now read the story, because the new dress code will certainly affect all the students.

In Fred’s headline in the cartoon, he has the judge critiquing the newspaper. Isn’t that what judges do? Who cares? Tell the readers what decision was reached.

Read the following headlines. Check those headlines which are wooden and contain little specific information.

__________1. Cheer and pom strive for spirit__________2. Baseball promising__________3. Counselors help students__________4. Bishop receives Ford grant__________5. WHS has artists

Practice sheet 1

The following headlines have all been found in the students newspapers. You must decide whether the headline is faulty or correct. If the headline is correct, place a C in the black in front of the headline. If you believe the headline is incorrect or faulty, place a check mark in the black in front of the headline and state why the headline is incorrect in the blacks following the headline. In this practice sheet, the faulty headlines contain only one error and may violate any of the rules 1-5.

___1 Typing excuses

______________________________________________

______________________________________________

___2Yearbook meets deadline

____________________________________

____________________________________

___3 Wrestlers went to state

______________________________________________

______________________________________________

___4 Register early

______________________________________________

______________________________________________

___5 New staff for annual

______________________________________________

______________________________________________

___6 Walk-a-thon held

______________________________________________

______________________________________________

___7 Godinez is new student leader

______________________________________________

______________________________________________

___8 Speech coach announced debaters

______________________________________________

______________________________________________

___9 Scheduled classes soon

____________________________________

____________________________________

___10 Youth Awareness week helps teens find jobs

____________________________________

____________________________________

RULE6 The headline should contain only factual information. Editorializing is not permitted in the headline. Use only third person.

Editorializing is the insertion of the writer’s opinion into the news. Use of first or second person promotes editorializing. For example:

Editorializing: Here is some good news for you

Other forms of editorializing may be more subtle. Read the following headlines.

Editorializing: Yearbook staff works hard

Editorializing: Varsity has great attitude

So what? Prove it to your readers. What did the yearbook staff do? Did the team’s great attitude win a game for them? Is this really the meat of the story? Let’s try to improve these headlines.

Revised: Yearbook staff works 15 hours weekly

This headline may be of interest to your readers. Some students may have thought yearbook was an easy class. From this headline, you may infer that the yearbook staff does indeed work hard. However, other students who are going to school and carrying a 30-hour a week job may disagree. The important point is that now you are stating a fact, not an opinion.

You could remove the opinion from the second headline in the following way.

Revised: ‘Great attitude’ important states Coach Bears

If the story is a feature about how the basketball team is a strong, cohesive unit, and the coach attributes this to their attitude, you can quote him in the lead. If, however, this headline is a disguise for the fact the team lost, this headline is unacceptable. High school students are leery about writing a headline stating the home team lost. When you pick up a sports page, often only positive headlines dominate the page, especially if the teams are in trouble. A headline writer’s responsibility is still to pick out the key thought in the lead and report it to the reader.

Fred makes the mistake of inserting his own opinion in the headline in the cartoon on the previous page. Although one may decide that the paper is excellent after reading that it received a first class rating, that is still an opinion. It is a good award? According to whom?

Read the following headlines. Some, even without the news stories, easily can be seen to contain editorializing. Check these stories that need to be rewritten.

__________1. Prom is successful__________2. Teachers happy with new computer__________3. New math classes add excellence to curriculum __________4. Coach criticizes player’s ‘bad’ attitude__________5. School policy affects you

RULE7 Use numbers in a headline only if they are important. Avoid beginning with a number. Ordinarily write numbers in Arabic form.

Often numbers can and should be left out of the headline unless that number is a part of the key element of the story. In the cartoon above, Fred has picked up on the number of judges who evaluated the newspaper. Is that the most important element of the story? Of course not. In this case a number is not needed.

Frequently, numbers are a significant part of the story and should be included in the headline. You must be able to apply a rule which has its exceptions.

Faulty: $5,000,000 student grant donated to university

The number in this headline is very important, but do you really need to start with a number? Try this one.

Correct: University of Arizona accepts $5,000,000 student aid grant

The number is included in the headline, but it does not start the headline.

Numbers should be written in Arabic form when used in the headline.

Faulty: Tigers nip Braves, ten to eight

Correct: Tigers nip Braves, 10-8

Try your hand at judging whether the headlines below should have a number included and whether the number is in the correct position and form in the headline. Check those headlines which are incorrect.

__________1. Seven wrestlers shine in Skyline division finals__________2. Vandalism costs $12,000 yearly__________3. Eight WR students attend workshops__________4. 61 percent to cut down on driving__________5. Winslow varsity wrestlers claim 3 out of 5 matches

RULE8 Use only abbreviations which are readily understood by your readers. Do not use abbreviations.

When you are struggling with a short count and a long subject, there is often the temptation to abbreviate. Don’t do it unless you are sure your reader will be comfortable with your abbreviation. The following headline is a good example of a poor abbreviation.

Faulty: Hum. 243 to offer two sections

What is “hum”???? After reading the headline, you might assume it is a class, but in what? Music? If readers cannot see a reason to read your story, they won’t. If they can’t readily identify the subject, they will continue on to the next story. (Editor’s note: Hum. 243 stands for a humanities class).

Since you are striving to make headlines “tight” and eliminate unnecessary information, more often than not, you will not include a date in the headline, since it is rarely the most important point in the story. If you must use a date, don’t abbreviate.

Faulty: Class construction to begin in Feb.

Correct: Construction to begin in February

You can keep approximately the same count by eliminating the first word and writing out the complete word for the month.

An abbreviation is appropriate of you and other students commonly refer to a group by its initials instead of its full name. For example:

Correct: FFA participates in State Fair

In the cartoon, Fred used an unfamiliar abbreviation to anyone except members of the journalism class. Readers will lose interest quickly in something they do not understand.

Read the following headlines. Check those headlines which have used abbreviations incorrectly.

__________1. GAA sponsors walkathon __________2. Heather Jackson goes to Chile on AFS__________3. Feb. charity drive to help March of Dimes__________4. FFA takes top award in national competition __________5. ROTC students perform drills

RULE9 Each line of a headline should be a complete thought. Don’t repeat the same significant word of thought. Do not separate the following from one line to the next:

(a) adjective from its noun(b) prepositional phrase (or any type of phrase)(c) parts of a verb(d) parts of a noun

Headlines should be as clear to follow as well-marked highways. Each line should make sense when it stands alone. If it does not, you probably have violated one of the above rules. An awkward split occurs when you separate an adjective from the noun it modifies. For example:

Faulty: Juniors get worst seats for assembly

“Worst” modifies “Seats”. When they are separated, the train of thought of the reader is thrown off balance.

If you split a prepositional phrase, you may end up with a preposition at the end of a line which is as objectionable as ending a sentence with preposition in standard English. For example:

Faulty: SC president abides by Principal’s decision

Read the following headlines. The first headline splits two parts of a noun “State Tournament” from one line to the next. The second headline splits the verb “will be scheduled”.

Faulty: Varsity goes to State Tournament Friday

Faulty: New construction will be scheduled soon

Although most students consider this the most “picky” of all the rules. It is often the most necessary. If you eliminate these splits, your headline construction will become more professional.

Be careful not to repeat the same word or another form of the word in the headline.

Faulty: Students win Student Council positions

In the cartoon, Fred split a prepositional phrase from one line to the next. The reader is left hanging and will probably be forced to re-read the headline.

Read the following headlines. Check each headline for which one contains a faulty split or repeats a word.

__________1. Penalty hurts Sabercats in final minutes__________2. Varsity faces rough opponents on court__________3. Era of Edward VII in review __________4. Women cagers stumble, lose two as frosh basketball season begins__________5. New Chicano studies to be featured on Phoenix campus__________6. Athletes compete in athletic events

RULE10 Save space in a headline whenever possible.

(a) Eliminate filler words. Use the articles a, an, and the only when they needed to make the meaning clear.

(b) Substitute the coma for “and”.(c) Use single quotation marks in place of double quotation marks.(d) Use punctuation sparingly. Substitute a semi-colon for a period at the

end of a complete thought.

Headlines, like a good steak, should be trimmed of all excess fat.

Faulty: The band has won a high rating from State

Better: Band wins high State rating

In the interest of tight headlines, substitute the coma for “and”. For example:

Faulty: Jimenez and Ball take divisional honors

Better: Jimenez, Ball take divisional honors

Single quotation marks are used instead of double quotation marks.

Faulty: “Teacher’s greedy” claims superintendent

Better: ‘Teacher’s greedy’ claims superintendent

Semi-colon is the most commonly used punctuation. The semi-colon is used when a new subject begins the second line. For example:

Correct: Volleyball team wins; Scottsdale falls in four

In this example volleyball team is the subject of the first line. The new subject in the second line is Scottsdale.

Fred is using too many words in the cartoon on the previous page. “The” and “an” are unnecessary. With some rewriting, even the prepositional phrase may be eliminated.

Read the following headlines. Check each headline which is incorrect.

__________1. Cagers lose playoffs; drop finale to Bears__________2. Miss EAC to represent the college at the Fiesta bowl__________3. Hooper and Carey share spotlight__________4. Principal accuses pep club of ‘poor sportsmanship’__________5. FFS, FHA co-sponsor activity day

PRACTICE SHEET II

The following headlines have all found in student newspapers. You must decide whether the headline is faulty or correct. If the headline is correct, place a C in the blank in front of the headline. If the headline is incorrect or faulty, place a check mark in the blank in front of the headline and state why the headline is incorrect in the blanks following the headlines. In this practice sheet, faulty headlines contain only one error and may violate any of the 1-10 rules.

_____1Barnes and Bailey reign as King and Queen__________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________

_____2Camera Club to construct motion picture of seniors__________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________

_____3Basketbabes sponsor Basketball tournament__________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________

_____4WWC names JAG as most responsive__________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________

_____5More time needed form final tests__________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________

_____6Gray handles handicap excellently __________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________

_____7Forbes and Jones win position on the swim team__________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________

_____8McNeal outlines program for girls’ physical education__________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________

_____9SAT results expected in Dec.__________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________

_____107 students go to convention__________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________