Words that Work: How Men Use Language With Children Josh Thompson Texas A&M University-Commerce Stephen Garretson The University of Texas at Arlington

Words that Work: How Men Use Language With Children

Josh Thompson Texas A&M University-Commerce

Stephen GarretsonThe University of Texas at Arlington










Open, shut them, Open, shut them, Give a little clap, clap, clap! Open, shut them, Open, shut them, Put them in your lap, lap, lap. Creep them, Creep them, Slowly creep them, All the way up to your

chin. Open up your little mouth but do not let them in. Run them, Run them, Run them, Run them, All the way down to

your toes. Run them, Run them, Run them, Run them, back up to your nose. Jump them, Jump them, Jump them, Jump them, Jump them to

your knees. Jump them, Jump them, Jump them, Jump them, cover your eyes

so you can’t see Peek-a-boo.

Sung by Alleyoop

What do you hear?

• Suzanne - 4 yr old, wanders – 3-4 year olds • Different expectations than with toddlers • Experience brought out voice contours • Involve the kids in what you are doing • What’s your plan? • Go over, kneel down, ask • Could be bored • Who’s the teacher here?

What do you hear?

• Suzanne - 4 yr old, wanders • Bob – 6 yr old, scoops – 6-12 yr olds – trouble sometimes knowing when

to take the leader role, when to follow – Encouraging words, redirect, ‘right now …. ‘

What do you hear? • Suzanne - 4 yr old, wanders • Bob – 6 yr old, scoops • Jimmy – 8 yr old, whines – Frustrated – Use humor, satire – Find out why, at home, classroom, elswhere– Take them aside, it’s okay – Separate from the group for redirecting – Let him lead – Bibliotherapy – use books to give him ideas how to deal

with his upsets – Social stories

What do you hear? • Suzanne - 4 yr old, wanders • Bob – 6 yr old, scoops • Jimmy – 8 yr old, whines • Laura – 18 yr old, yells– Find out why, what are her frustrations, what are her

buttons, – Lead by example – Validate, affirm, mentor, show that you’ve been there

before – Explain and empower – Heads up

Power <-> Solidarity

Asymmetry <-> Symmetry

Hierarchy <-> Equality

Distance <-> Closeness

Grandparent-grandchild Hierarchy

Employer - employee

Closeness Distance

Siblings Equality Co-workers or

Neighbors

A question

• Cringe – What do women do that makes some men cringe?

• Novelty

• Meaningful Touch 2006 – Frances Carlson • Big Body Play – Frances Carlson

What are some ways you were invited into the ECE field

• Children welcomed • Mentors • Redirected by administrators • Learning how to become a good dad • I won’t grow up! • Needed answers myself

Children need engaging caregivers. Men in ECE resemble female caregivers, but also differ in many ways. How men use language to do things with young children is one of them.

• Fathers, and other men, care about the children in their lives, though perhaps in different ways than Teachers and Caregivers assume.

• Teachers and Caregivers are gatekeepers - we have information concerning the development and 'schooling' of the child that could help the dad.

• Our own attitudes sometimes interfere with building constructive collaborations.

Some big ideas (assumptions)

Nelson (2002)

Three possible explanations for so few men in ECE –Perceived as ‘women’s work’ –Low pay, unrewarding –Fear of misunderstood motives

Story time & book reading Mealtimes Games Driving Homework Helps Meeting people Prayer, meditation, centering on interior life Making peace, reconciling Being a warrior – becoming a lover

http://tinyurl.com/cmaeycSurveyAboutMenT

THIS IS A 22 ITEM ELECTRONIC SURVEY, ELICITING ATTITUDES AND BEHAVIORS OF TEACHERS & CAREGIVERS. THE DEMOGRAPHIC AND WORK-RELATED EXPERIENCE FACTORS SHOULD PROVIDE AMPLE LEVERAGE TO EXTRACT IMPORTANT PARTS & PIECES FROM THE ANSWERS TO THE ATTITUDE AND BEHAVIOR QUESTIONS.

A 2009 Father's Day challenge from Bill Cosby:"We are calling on men, all men--the successful

and the unsuccessful, the affluent and the poor, the married and the unmarried--to come and claim their children. You can run the biggest drug cartel in America or win the Super Bowl, but if you haven’t claimed your children, you are not a man. No matter how useless or hopeless a father may think he is, his role is simply to be there. If he makes that commitment, he is a much better man than he thought he was.”

National Rally of Responsible Fatherhood 2009


http://tinyurl.com/cmaeycSurveyAboutMenT



Documents

Words that Work: How Men Use Language With Children Josh Thompson Texas A&M University-Commerce Stephen Garretson The University of Texas at Arlington