WordPlay Cafe Chapter 4

8/14/2019 WordPlay Cafe Chapter 4

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T he k noc k, k noc k wu rs t is o n t he g r i l l,

T he le mo na de is co l d, So ca l l you r f r ie n ds to h

a ve so me fu n

W i t h o x y mo ro ns bo l d !

You r Pa n s o n F i re, you r pu ns a re d i re ! You l l te l l you r ve r bose

bu ds,

So t w is t you r to n gues, wa r m u p you r lu n gs,

A n d lau nc h so me doo ne r s pu ds !

Chapter ForeDEEP-FRIED DICTION FOR TWO

(OR MORE!) 004


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74

Soda Pop SwapOnce youve discovered the fun of homonyms those words thatsound alike but are spelled dif-ferently and mean different th ings, likebare and bear ; sew and so ; I, eye , andaye (see HOMONYMGRITS, page 42) youre well on your way to becominga culinary word wizard, first-class. If homonyms make you happy, you mightlike to whip up a recipe I call SODA POPSWAP. Its a great way to explore andlearn many different homonyms.

Lets Cook!Choose one player to cover his ears(or pop in the earbuds and listen to

some rap music on a portable player)while you and a partner compose asentence using at least two homonyms,using the phrasesoda pop in place of thehomonyms. For example: Right after I soda pop supper, I went to the libraryand read until soda pop oclock.

See how I usedsoda pop in place of the homonymsate and eight ?

Have the third player listen up andpay attention to the sentence. If hecorrectly identifies the proper words, itbecomes someone elses turn to be theGuesser. Award one point for eachcorrect guess, and play to five points or just play for the pure fun of it.

Reci p eser v es: 3 o r m o r e p la y e r si ngr ed i ents: J u s t y ou r im a g ina tion !

SO DA P O P SWAP is a great game to play in the car to make time flywhen you are stuck in traffic.

Homonyms are worth theirw eight in gold when creatinggreat puns (page 76) andknock-knock jokes (next page)!

homophone

Baxter Says:If your nose know s no wayTo make sense of scents,Then what the maid madeCould taste as wood would.

Can you find all the homonyms?(Answers on page 124.)


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Deep-Fried Diction for Two (or more!) 75

Knock, Knockwurst(hot dog!)Boy, where would the United Statesbe today without millions of kidsrunning around telling knock-knock jokes? Most pint-sized punstersIve met have begun their careers bytelling KKs (as I fondly refer to them).

This type of wordplay involves punning , or making a play on words inwhich you use two or more differentideas in a single expression, in a way(and this is the important part!) thatseems humorous to the person makingup the pun. Sometimes it is even funnyto other people (but not always!). You

probably know some knock-knock jokesalready.

Here are some classics to get youthinking:

Knock, knock!Whos there? Lettuce.Lettuce who? Lettuce in, were freezing!

Knock, knock.Whos there? Water.Water who? Water you doing in my house?

There is no easy way to teach a per-son how to create a knock-knock joke.Just listen for words (or combinations of words) that sound like other words. Aswith cooking hot dogs, once you knowhow, they are really easy to prepare!

Lets Cook!Gather a pal or two on the front

porch or under the shade of a tree, and just start cooking. If you know some KK

jokes already, tell them to get all of youin the right mindset.Take turns playing your jokes on each

other. Then take a vote and decide whomade up the best knock-knock joke.Heres a clue: The worst jokes are usu-ally the best! Declare that person thewiener. (Oops, I meantwinner !) Writedown your best jokes so you canremember to use them again.

double entendre,knock knock, puns, punning

R ec i p ese r ves :2 or m ore p la

yers

i n g re d ie n ts : Pencils and pa

per or Noodle Boo k


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76

Pun-ishing Prune PastryPuns! Some of the most fun wordgames involve puns and punning.And heres a little tip worth repeat-ing for you mighty word warriors: Thebest puns are the worst. That is, if someone groans after you say your pun,then youve got a winner!

You will also find that most puns arefound to be the funniest by the peoplewho are telling them. Puns are also con-sidered by many to be the lowliest formof humor. (Yay!)

If you get to be a world-class punster,consider yourself in good company,

along with the likes of James Joyce,Ogden Nash, and (especially) WilliamShakespeare.

Let me give you a little lesson on howto prepare your own bad jokes.

idiom, James Joyce, OgdenNash, pun, punster, William

Shakespeare, witticism

behind: the stinger.


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Lets Cook!Think of a well-known book or movietitle, for example,The Polar Express.Now take one of the words (say,polarfor this one), and start to think of words that rhyme with it or soundlike it. I thought of molar .

Now trade out the original word with

the new one and you haveThe Molar Express . You have just created ananswer to a question that has not beenasked. All you have to do now is tocome up with a question, likeWhat kind of train takes you to the dentist?

Drop your new joke on the nextunsuspecting person, and when youreveal your answer, be sure to laugh outloud at your own joke, which will makeit an official pun.

Take turns seeing who can come upwith the worst puns, then share a few of them with family members at the dinnertable (if its permitted!).

Reci p eser v es: 2 o r m or e p la y e r si ngr ed i ents: Pe ncils a nd pa pe r o r Nood le Book A book o f id iom s (s e e BRAIN CANDY )m igh t he lp if y ou ca n f ind one , bu tits no t ne ce s sa r y

Use a phrase or title most peopleare familiar with, because other-wise they wont get the pun.

An idiom is phrase orexpression that is unique toa given language, as in thephrase Go figure, which Iuse to m ean that was prettyobvious. If you begin tolisten for idioms, youll hearthem used quite often, too.

Baxter Says:Puns are fun because, unlike a test at school, you come up with theanswer first, then the question.

W hat could be better than that?


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78

Tongue Twister Taffy

Baxter Says:The faster you play, the sillier it gets!

Gilbert and Sullivansopera (Wait! This is good! )The Pirates of Penzance is agreat way to hear some rapid-fire tongue tw isters, alsoknown as patter . If you have achance to hear it som etime, beprepared to listen closely.

T ry saying this three times as fast asyou can:Sister Suzys Selling Thirty Thirsty Thistles.

Can you do it? If you find it a little dif-ficult, join the club. Just like taffy, whichis twisted again and again until you cantremember where the start was, tonguetwisters often leave their players dizzyand tongue-tied.

Tongue twisters also come in poetry or

stanza form (which isnt any easier).Heres a popular one:

Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers;A peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked.If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers,Wheres the peck of pickled peppers Peter

Piper picked?

Ready to tie your tongue in knots?Then lets pull some words!


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Lets Cook!Have all players sit in a circle. Decide

who goes first. The first person starts bysaying one word, usually a first name,such asFrank . The next person repeatswhat was said and adds to the tongue

twister:Frank finds . The next person

adds to that, as inFrank finds forty , andso on.

Keep going around the circle untilsomeone messes it up. The player whomisses starts the next round.

We never kept score on this game,cause we were always laughing too

hard.

Re ci p e ser v es: 4 o r m or e p la y e r si ngr ed i ents: A d ict iona r y he lp s !

appeal: what you get from a banana.

P U N Z L E S a n s w e r : T o a i r i s h u m a n .


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80

Baxter Borscht(its hard to beet!)

Re ci p e ser v es: 3 o r m or e p la y e r si ngr ed i ents: Qu ick t h ink ing!

Without Verb, thered be no actionwhen a movie director shouted Quieton the set! Lights, camera,action! Hemakes you run, jump, play, sleep, think,laugh, sing and cook! Without Verb,there would be nothing happening.Thank goodness for Verb!)

Lets Cook!Choose a Guesser and send her out of

the room, or have her cover her ears and

sing The Star-Spangled Banner, whilethe others agree on the hidden verb.

Then let the Guesser come back inand question the others, asking, forinstance,What time of day do youusually Baxter ? or Can my mother Baxter in the k itchen?

The Guesser may ask 10 questions,to which the other players must givesensible answers. If the Guesser thinksof the secret verb by the end of the 10questions, she receives one point, andanother Guesser is chosen.

The first player to reach five pointsis the winner.

Borscht (pronounced BOARSH,also spelledborsch ) is an easy-to-prepare Russian soup that uses

beets. Its a very simple meal, and so isBAXTERBORSCHT, which is similar inplay to SODA POP SWAP (page 74). Insome countries the game is known asCoffeepot or Teakettle.

In BAXTERBORSCHT, the Guesser isasked to identify whatverb the othersare replacing with the wordBaxter .

(You know Verb, dont you? Hes thecharacter who makes things happen.

Baxter Says: Do you have a game that you play,that perhaps no one else plays one where you make up all the rulesand just have fun? If so, then by allmeans, name it after yourself. Takeit from me!


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Initial Ingredients(who will win?)Heres a simple recipe for fun thatinvolves the main ingredients of wordplay the alphabet!This cooks up pretty quickly, so youdbetter have your brain in high gear.

Lets Cook!One Leader is chosen from the group.

The Leader shouts out the letters of thealphabet in order and the players eachtry to be the first one to say a word thatbegins with that letter. The first personto give a correct answer wins one point.

When the alphabet is finished, the

person with the most points becomesthe next Leader.

Re c i p e ser v es: 3 o r m o r e p lay e r si ngr ed i ents:

P e n cil a nd pape r ( op t iona l)

acronyms

Ind ividual players can keep track of their scores, or the Leader maytrack it for everyone. To make the game more interest-

ing, shout the letters of the alphabet out of order (youll need pencil and paper

for this!), or have the players agree on atopic, such as food (A Apple!; BBanana!) before play begins.

cannot: when something wont fit into a can.


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82

Book Bag Barbecue

Lets say that your family is drivingall the way to Boston to see thatdarned Red Sox ( Darned Sox . Get

it?) team play baseball. You may notshare everyones enthusiasm for thegame, so youll need something to dofor the trip.

Well, nows a good time to mix upsome BOOKBAG BARBECUE(traditionally

known as I Packed My Bag, orGrandmothers Suitcase). And, just like

a real barbecue, you need to keep onyour toes, or youll get burned!

Lets Cook!The first player begins by saying, I

packed my book bag, and in it I put ,followed by an item. The next personrepeats the phrase but has to addanother item. Play continues back and

forth until someone forgets an item inthe book bag. The game goes on until

everyone but the winner has beendisqualified.

Items that you pack in your book bagdont need to be normal items, either,which makes the game much more fun.

I packed my book bag, and in it I put loafers, a pencil, my horse, a 1968

Camaro, a drawing pad, a box of cereal, N ew Jersey, a gallon of m ilk, tickets tothe next Kansas City Chiefs game, a

pick le, an outboard m otor See what I mean?

R ec i p e

se r ves :2 or m ore p la yers

i n g re d ie n ts : Good m em or y

Make it more challenging byadding items in alphabetical order,so that each new item has to fol-low the nex t letter of the alphabet,

as in I packed my book bag, and in it I put an apple, a brownie, coats, dolls O r, make a rule that everything must berelated, such as only sporting items, asin I packed my book bag, and in it I

put acrobat rings, a baseball bat, acanoe, my dirt bike


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Bizz Buzz Biscuits Re c i p e ser v es: 2 t o

5 ( o r m or e !) p lay e r s i ngr ed i ents: Con ce n t r a t ion!So you think youre good withwords, eh? How about words andnumbersmixed together ? Actually,to make BIZZ BUZZ BISCUITSyou need to

remember only two words:Bizz andBuzz . Rememberingwhen to use them issomething else, though.

Lets start cooking with just Buzzwords, then sprinkle in the Bizz.

Lets Cook!Start t he Buzz: All the players sit in a

circle. Going clockwise, begin to countone number per tu rn. When a player

gets to a number that has 7 in it (as in

17, 27, 37 ) or is amultiple of 7 (asin 14, 21, 28 ), the player says Buzz .

If a player makes a mistake, then heor she is out until the next round. Thelast player left, making no mistakes,wins the game.

Add the Bizz: To kick it up a notch,play BIZZ BUZZ, which uses the numbers5 (Bizz)and 7 (Buzz). When someonegets to a number that applies to both,such as 35, the player must say Bizz

Buzz!

If you get really good at this game,try reversing directions each timea person says Bizz or Buzzor Bizz Buzz! Be prepared for a

great deal of laughter and confusion.

You go clockwise in thisgame. Now, theres an inter-esting word. So, is the clockwise? Does counterclock-wise mean an unwiseclock ? Why no t just say going clock-like or goingun-clock-like ? See how oddthe English language can be?

Baxter Says:Younger kids may have troublekeeping track of num bers and words at the same time, so work with them. Someone probably did the same for you when you were

just a wee wordsmith.


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84

Limerick Lasagnarhyme with and have the same meter aseach other.

Heres a classic to get you started:

A flea and a fly in a flueWere imprisoned, so what could they do?Said the fly, Let us flee.Let us fly, said the flea.So they flew through a flaw in the flue.

Limericks are not the easiest poems toinvent, so I suggest you enlist the help of some friends. Get out your oven mitts,use your noodle, whip up someLIMERICKLASAGNA, and see if anyonelikes the taste.

anapestic, clerihew,Edward Lear, limerick, poetic

meter, rhyme sequenceUnless youve been locked away ina tower that is guarded by anevil wiener dog for several years,you are probably aware that lasagna ismade by layering different kinds of foodin a casserole dish. Well, limericksadhere to a similar code. They are five-line poems where the first, second, andfifth lines rhyme with and have the samemeter (or beat) as one another, and thethird and fourth lines, which are shorter,


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R ec i p ese r ves :3 to 5 p la yers

(or, you

can do th is alone, too )

i n g re d ie n ts : Pencil and pap

er and Noodle Boo k

If youre interested in morelimericks , check out Edw ardLears A Book of Nonsense (firstpubl ished way back in 1846!).

Lets Cook!Sit with others in a circle, and take

turns writing one line of a limerick.Player 1 thinks of the first line, Player 2must think of a second line that rhymes,then the next player works on the thirdline, and so on, until a limerick appears.

Write down your final limerick inyour Noodle Book, and share it withothers. Watch out, though! When friendsand family taste your creation, they maytell you that it needs more salt.

Baxter Says:Keep all your phrases sweet.And gossip? Dont repeat.Cuz time and again(You wont know when)Those words you might just eat.

P U N Z L E S a n s w e r : P a s t t e n t s .


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86

Word Chain CasseroleW

ord chains are some the easi-est things to cook up, and canbe prepared very quickly by

someone with very little kitchenexperience.

A word chain is a list of words (usu-ally around a specific topic) in which thelast letter of the previous word is thefirst letter of the next.

Why are you looking at me that way?Okay, maybe I should give an example.

doGGoldfisHHampsteRRabbiTTurtlEEnglish bulldoGGerbiL

See how it works? The previous wordsare all types of pets. Now you and yourfriends can give it a taste.

Lets Cook!Choose a topic (movies, books, first

names of boys or girls, pets, and so on).One person starts with one word, andthe play passes to the next person. Eachperson in the group, in turn, must come

up with the next word that fits the chain.If someone fails to come up with a

word or uses a word that someone elsealready said in that round, she is out.The winner is the last person stilladding ingredients to the word chaincasserole. Or, you can play that if youcant think of anything that hasnt beensaid before when its your turn, you geta letter inC-H-A-I-N against you (orW-O-R-D C-H-A-I-N C-A-S-S-E-R-O-L-E fora really long game!).

If you u se a two-word name likeNew York or English bulldog , usethe first letter of the first word and the last letter of the last word for

the word chain. The same is true of names of people, unless you are playinglast (or first) names only. Play using pencil and paper, or a

N oodle Book , if you want to save thecasserole for later (leftovers, anyone?).

Re c i p e ser v es: 3 o r m or e p la y e r si ngr ed i ents: P e ncil a nd pa pe r o r Noo d le Book ( op t iona l)


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Liar, Liar, Pans on Fire(20 questions with a twist)Re c i p e

ser v es: 3 or m or e p lay e r si ngr ed i ents: Good m e m or y

Uh-oh! Is something burning inthe kitchen of the WORDPLAYCAF? Smells like someone is

scorching thetruth a little bit.Almost everyone has played the game

20 Questions, especially on long roadtrips, or perhaps when waiting morethan an hour just to see the doctorsassistant! To play, one person thinks of an object, then allows other players 20questions in which to guess what theobject is.

Lets warm things up with a recipethat puts a little extra heat on 20

Questions.Lets Cook!Select one person from the group to

think of a word or object. The otherplayers have 20 chances (or questions)to uncover what the person is thinkingabout. Each question must be able tobe answered withyes or no .

The fun part to this particular recipefor the game is that the person beingquestioned always tells theopposite of what she means (so yes means noand vice versa no means yes).Only when a player guesses the objectcorrectly does the truth come out.

Be prepared for lots of confusion!

Vice versa is from theLatin vice (or vicis ), meaning position, and vertere,meaning to turn. So whenyou do a vice versa, youchange positions!

guessing games, 20 questions

Baxter Says: Is the stove in your kitchen as friendly as mine? Every time I goto use it, every one of the dials has

the word HI on it!


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88

Cooking School Recess So, youve twisted your tongue, swapped yoursoda pop, and barbecued your book bag. Areyou tired yet? Well, I am. Lets put down thespoons and toss the bowls into the sink for amoment, and have another shot at PUNZLES play.Just in case you were absent when we did the firstone (page 56), Ill go over the rules again.

Highlighted inRED in the following story arewords that describe items in the image (next page),but instead of being literal clues, they are phoneticpuns. As an example, for the wordapparent , thinka parent . See how many words and images youcan match. Youll find the answers on page 124.

It was now apparent . Joseph would be able to finish his homework (thank

goodness for the spell-check ) beforehis dad would ask his advice on the fine art of cabinetry. He knew that hismother would adore his handiwork,

but could not account for his siblingstaste in carpentry. He was no coward ,

but his entry in the State Fairs box contest would be an honest test of his skill. Joseph thought to himself,I believe this could be the one!

The plans (which were laced with woodworking jargon ) were laid out on

the carpet in his room. There is no

way Im going to be able to fit thisthrough the door when its finished,

he said, so off he ran to bring somehelpers aboard . Is what were doingillegal ? asked his brother Jack, wholiked spending time in the trees.Youve been watching too much TV,

said Joseph. Its a perfectly acceptable

manner of reusing wood.Except for the occasional bloopersthat Joseph had while working on his

project, everything seemed to come outokay. There was no way a judge would degrade his project, so a gold medal

was as good as in the bag!


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90

Ad Slogan Swap SlopG

osh, if I could only find someadvertising somewhere. I needsomething with a good slogan,

something that everyone has heard.Where, oh where will I find advertising?

How abouteverywhere ?! People (kidsespecially) have never been so over-

whelmed by advertising in magazines,on TV, on the radio, on T-shirts, shoes,caps, blah, blah, blah. There is so muchadvertising going on these days, Ithought it would make for some greatwordplay.

Heres the deal: I like to take the first

part of an ad slogan (also called a jingle )and combine it with the ending of another totally separate product, as in

this mix between M&Ms and ManwichSloppy Joes:

M&Ms melt in your mouth but a Manwich is a meal!

Or, how about th is one from Rolaids

and the American Beef Council:

How do you spell relief?Its whats for dinner.

Sound like fun? (At least it soundsdifferent and thats refreshing.) I

think if we have to listen to advertisinggarbage, I mean, uh, slogans, we shouldget to make fun of them at every turn.

Lets Cook!The next time your friends are over towatch TV, grab some paper (or your

Noodle Book) and make notes of adver-tising slogans you hear. (And you willhear plenty !)

After you have a few (change thechannel if you need some fresh ones),

begin to take them apart and stir upsome AD SLOGANSLOP! Remember,sometimes you feel like a nut

Re c i p e s er v es : 3 o r m o r e p l a y e r si n g r ed i en ts :

P en c i l s a n d p a p e r o r No o d l e Bo o k

bait and switch,false advertising,jingles, slogans


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Do the Ads Have Your Attention?Words, words, words and more words!Kids and adults these days are beingbombarded with advertising. And yes,even I am gui lty of advertising. Look inthe back of thi s book and you w ill see a

list of books that I (and m y publ isher)hope youll consider buying.So, do you buy jeans or video games or

action figures or candy because you reallywant them? Or is it because advertisinghas made you th ink that you simply cantlive without them?

Of course, advertising has its place. Iam very happy w ith m y iPod, for in stance,

and Im glad that the Apple company toldme about it through commercials.However, if I can ask one thing of eachand every one of you , it wou ld be this:

Listen to your own advice on how tospend your money, not the advice ofsomeone shouting at you from the TV.

Take the Ad Challenge.Can you replace the blank in the following phrases with the correct word?

You deserve a blanktoday.

Just blank it.Betcha cant blank

just one.

If you can complete even one of these ad slogans correctly (answers on page 124),consider yourself branded by the advertising industry. Perhaps a little less TV is in order. Got books?

Baxter Says: My name is Baxter Kline and I

approved this m essage.

cement: what you do when you go to see how coins are made.


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92

line of words right to left, then back tonormal for the third line, then right toleft again for the last line.

This is calledreverse writing . Inschool we are taught to read left toright and top to bottom, but manyother cultures dont share our rules forwriting. Reverse writing is almost likea code, but easily figured out. Lets Cook!

Each player writes a paragraph of atleast six lines using reverse writing. Pass

the result to the player on the left, andchallenge him to read it out loud.

Sometimes we take words andto learn we Once .granted for lettersread, we tend to forget about the.read just and rules

Notice anything funny about theparagraph above? Let me help.Read the first line. Then, start-ing on the right-hand side, read the next

Refried Reverse Writing(& reading) R ec i p ese r ves :3 or m ore p la

yers

i n g re d ie n ts :

Pencils and paper or Noodle Boo k

If you really want torefry your wri ting, tryusing mirror words (page 63)on every other li ne. It maytake some time, but youl l likethe result, and your code wi ll

not be quite so easy to crack!

chain reaction: what happens when the swing on the playground breaks.


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contradictory, oxymora,oxymoronic


Oxymoron Tail Soup Can you think of any oxymorons? If

you can, write them down. You mightalso be surprised to learn that manyauthors have used oxymorons in theirverse, including William Shakespeare,Ogden Nash, Emily Dickinson, andMark Twain, to name a few.

This isnt really a recipe. Its moreof a story about how odd theEnglish language can be. Feel

free to make note of these in yourNoodle Book, but for the moment, putdown the spoon and step away fromthe bowl!

Oxymorons (not a bunch of stupid

cattle) are words used together thatcontradict each other.Most oxymorons are simply used to

dramatize parts of speech, and wedont even stop to think about whatthe words themselves really mean. Butif you start to listen, some of them aredownright ridiculous! They can befound in many places. Here are a fewof the more obvious:

jumbo shrimpcivil warpretty uglyfreezer burnsweet tartonly choicecrash landingnon-stop flight

Did you know that if youare a sophomore , you are

an oxymoron? The wordsophomore is likely fromthe Greek sophos ( wise ),and moros ( stupid ).Maybe sophomores justarent sure in w hich direc-tion to go, just yet.


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94

Spelling Bee BrowniesH

ow good is your spelling?Do you think that you mightqualify for the Scripps

National Spelling Bee (see page 24) inWashington, D.C.? Whatever yourspelling prowess, I think youll enjoyplaying this game. But wait!

If theres anything youve learned sofar at the WORDPLAY CAF, its thatthings may not be as simple as theyseem.

Lets Cook!Select one person as the Chooser. Tha t

person chooses a word from the diction-ary (nothing too difficult) and asks thefirst player to spell it backward!

The player must pronounce the word,spell it backward, then pronounce itagain. If a player makes a mistake, sheis out. Play continues until only oneperson is left (the winner!), who thenbecomes the Chooser for round two.Play continues until players can nolonger spell because they are laughingtoo much.

R e c i p ese r ves : 3 or m ore

p la yers

i n g re d ie n ts : Penc i l an d p

a p er

D ic t ionar y

cacography, orthography

parade: when your dad bursts into your room looking for dirty dishes.


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Having some fun with that?Okay, heres a bit of tri ckery totry out on an unsuspectingspeller. Ask som eone (even anadult! ) to recite the alphabetbackward. Its pretty hard to do,so your f riend, if he takes thechallenge, might take a longtime stumbling through the let-ters (Z-Y-X-W-V-U-T, and , so on).When hes done, say I can do ita lot faster. Then turn your backto him and recite the alphabetthe norm al way. Gotcha! Aneven sim pler version is to ju stsay the phrase the alphabetbackward when its your turn todo the reciting, after your f riendfum bles. Double gotcha!

Baxter Says:Correct spelling is very im portant ,especially if you are filling out a jobapplication or writing a thank-younote. Really! O ften, adults whomake a spelling mistake on a jobapplication get the circular file

treatment the application istossed in the trash and they areimm ediately eliminated from the

pool o f job candidates. It s the f irst clue to a potential employer as to

your smarts (or at least to your attention to details). And if yourewriting a thank-you note, w ell, it sure makes a better impression if the words are spelled correctly!

Dr. Puzzle Will Shortz, Ph.D.N early every Sunday morn ing since1987, The New York Times CrosswordPuzzle editor Will Shortz (and host LianeHansen) have bewildered, entertained,and otherw ise enligh tened listeners and call-in participants with theirbrand of word wizardry on Weekend Edition , heard on most NPR (NationalPublic Radio) stations.

Will is the only person in the w orldwith a college degree in Enigm atology(the study of puzzles), which he earnedfrom Indiana University in 1974.

I strongly encourage you to checklocal listings (or go to npr.org on theWeb) and play the Weekend Edition Sunday Puzzle along wi th Wi ll andLiane to see just what kind of wordplayperson you are. After all, you cantgo w rong w hen its delivered right toyour door!

P U N Z L E S a n s w e r : I n d e n i a l .


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96

Brain Bran with Rotated Reading RelM

y two sons, Steve and Jon, aresome of the most avid readersin the family. They simply

gobble up book after book, probablybecause I made reading fun for themwhen they were little.

I would often adopt a very fake accent

when I would read (my favorite wasBritish), or purposely change the namesof characters, which my boys wouldcorrect immediately!

But one of the most fun things to doinvolved turning their reading worldupside down. H eres the recipe for howto do it.

Lets Cook!Choose one person as the Chef. Each

player attempts to read one page loudlyand clearly while the Chef slowly spinsthe book.

There is a certain book-spin speed atwhich the reader will still be able to

read, although she may get dizzy.Getting it right may take some practice.

After all players have had a chance toread a page, the Chef passes the book toa new Chef, then takes a turn at rotatedreading.

Reci p eser v es: 3 o r m or e p la y e r si ngr ed i ents: Pictu r e b ook o r book w ith la r g e p r in t

honest: where a mother bird usually sits.


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Want to kick it up a notch?Try rotating the book whileholding it up to a m irror, andsee if you can still read it. Ifyou can, then you are a veryobservant r eader!

How Do You Really See Words?Try reading the follow ing paragraph:

Ocne uopn a tmie, trehe lvied in thefroest a very lagre ginat w ho w ouldgarb peploe that w akled by.

If what youve just read is a story abouta giant that lived in the forest, then con-gratulations. Youre do ing f ine!

When we learn to read as children, wefirst learn letters, then w ords, thenphrases, until we can qu ickly glance at asentence and grasp its m eaning .

A lot of w ords that we use are identified

by their first and l ast letters, as in theparagraph about the gi ant. Notice thatonly the inside letters have been movedaround, and th at all the l etters are there.

We recognize things by their parts allthe time.

Say, for instance, you see someonecoming tow ard you at school withglasses, black hair, and a red sweatshir t.You im mediately recognize that person asyour f riend, just by those traits youdont need to see him up close, or see hisfreckles, blue eyes, or shoes or socks, toknow who it is.

Well, thats the way reading works, too.You begin to recognize famili ar wo rds,

just like old fri ends.

g a z e b o :

a c r o

s s b e t w e e n

a g a z e l l e

, a z e

b r a

, a n

d a b o a c o n s

t r i c t o r .

P U N Z L E S a n s w e r : B u d w i s e r .


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98

Nutty NeologismsY

ou think Im making this up,dont you? Well, Im not beyonda little white lie every now and

then, but there actually are words andphrases known asneologisms (nee-AH-lah-jizms). And they have a very specialplace at the WORDPLAY CAF, because

theyre made up! Just my cup of tea.The official definition of a neologismis a new word, usage, or expression.It also means (and this probably fits mebetter) a meaningless word used by apsychotic, which goes a long way inexplaining why I call this NUTTYNEOLOGISMS. At any rate, Ive managedto turn it into a game (er, recipe). Areyou with me? Perhaps I should give fewexamples

Weapons of grass destruction:lawnmowers.

Internot (from Internet and not ):when your mom wont let you checkyour email.

Homewok (from homework and wok ):a deep, large, round frying panthat youd like to toss your math

assignment into.

Are you catching on yet? If you are,

then lets cook! R ec i p ese r ves :3 or m ore p la ye rs

i ng red ie n ts : Pencils and paper

o r Noodle Book

An adu l t he lpe r (op tiona l )


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Lets Cook!Players sit in a circle. Each player

thinks up and then writes down oneneologism with its definition. O nceeveryone has finished writing, taketurns reciting the neologisms. Then

vote on which neologism you think isbest. (Or, ask an adult bystander toserve as an impart ial Judge.)

Give one point for each win. Afterfive rounds, crown the neologismchamp!

Save your neologisms and email themto friends to get their reactions to yournew words.

N eologisms are easy to create. Just think of a word or phrase you useall the time, as in email . N ow add,drop, or change a letter or two (it

really doesnt matter), and you have,lets say, shemail , or hemail , or evenfleamail . N ow think up a defintion, asin fleamail : email composed with a very,

very small t ypeface. See?

Every month f or 21 years,Washington Post columnistBob Levey has asked his read-

ers to come up w ith their ownneologism s. The rules are sim-ple: He provides contestantswith an obscure definit ion, asin The first child born intomost families ends up w ith ameticulously kept and thor-ough baby photo book.Siblings that follow never do

as well. This phenom enonis called , then asks hisreaders for the new w ord (orphrase). The responses for thisone included rugrationing ,receding heir line ,Polarvoid , scrapped book ,and the winner, photigue ,from the words photo and

fatigue .

malign: Dont run with scissors! is one.


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100

Spoonerisms You Can Eat with a ForH

ave you ever accidentally mixedup your words by switchingparts of one word with parts of

another? If so, then you already knowwhat a Spoonerism is.

Made famous by the ReverendArchibald Spooner (see BRAIN CANDY,

next page), Spoonerisms are oftenhilarious, as in the following phrasesthat he unwittingly muttered:

Mardon me, padam, but you areoccupewing the wrong pie. May I sewyou to another sheet?

Spoonerisms can be used on almostanything, as in the following nurseryrhyme:

Dumpty Humpty w at on a sall,Dumpty Humpty grad a hate fall,All the Hings korses and all the

Mings kenPouldnt cut Tumpty hoogether

again.

Here at the WORDPLAY CAF, wedrather you whip up a sad ballad thanserve a bad salad, so that you can really

taste what Spoonerisms are all about!

metathesis, spoonerism,transposition

Baxter Says:W hen you start to m ove word sounds around, you may acciden-tally come up with a word that is

a no-no, so play it smart!


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R ec i p e

se r ves :3 or m ore p la yers

i n g re d ie n ts : Ne w spaper

Pencils and paper or Noodle B

oo k

William Archibald Spooner,whom Spoonerisms werenamed for, was born inLondon in 1844 and eventuallybecame an Angli can pr iest and

scholar. Reverend Spoonerspent 60 years at OxfordUniversity, where he taughthistory, philosophy, anddivin ity. From all accounts,Spooner was said to be oneof the original absent-mindedprofessors.

Lets Cook!Invite some friends over and dig out

the movie section of yesterdays newspa-per. Take the titles of current moviesand Spoonerize them, making notes onyour paper. If you run out of movietitles, check out the TV listings for thenames of shows.

Compare your results with the other

players to see who comes up with thefunniest Spoonerisms. And remember,there is more than one way toSpoonerize!

P U N Z L E S a n s w e r : D o n t g o t h e r e .


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102

Nifty Swifty Stew(for Toms & Sarahs)I

happen to love Tom Swifties andSarah Swifties, mostly because thepun comes at the very end of the

joke, so the unsuspecting tester of your joke is left with an odd look on her face(until she gets it).

Swifties are sentences in which

adverbs (most often) relate to a word orphrase both properly and in a pun, as inthe following:

The door is ajar, said Tom openly .(relates to door )

I seem to have found some plutonium,said Sarah glowingly .(relates to plutonium )

Sometimes the Swifty is even more of a pun and harder to catch:

I cant believe that Elvis is dead, saidTom expressly (ex- Presley , get it?).

See how it works? Then Sharpen upyour knives and lets cook, said Tombluntly.

wellerism


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Lets Cook!Gather up a few close friends, putsome popcorn in the microwave, andstart to brainstorm on some Tom andSarah Swifties.

The best way is to think up the punchline first, such asSarah said sharply ,then come up with the initial line, suchas May I please have the scissors?Then put the two together.

Vote to see who can come up withthe best Swifty, Tom said democrati-cally. Reward the champion with alarge bowl of popcorn, Sarah suggestedwinningly.

Re c i p e ser v es: 3 p lay e r s ( bu t ca n bep la y e d by ju s t 1 o r e v en by 8!)i ngr ed i ents:

P e ncil a nd pa pe r o r Nood le Book

Tom Swift was an adventur-ous character invented bywr iter Edw ard Stratemeyer(also known as VictorAppleton), who of ten had Tomqualify a statement with a

pun. He was also the guy w homaster-minded the Hardy Boys stories, which you might haveheard your parents (or grand-parents) talk about, and m aybehave read yourself!

Baxter Says:Forgotten what an adverbis?

Remember, its a word that describes a verb (page 80). Many,but not all adverbs have LY at theend, he explained loudly , thenquietlyand quickly , somewhat nastily , then sweetly you got it!


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104

You-Dont-Say BuffetG

osh, how should I put this?Its kind of like, well, hmmm.What I want to say is, oh crud!

Never mind.Sometimes the most fun word games

come from words that arenot spoken.Do you suppose its possible to play

word games without words? Lets Cook!Each player is given five lives. An

everyday word is chosen, such asyes orno , then each player takes turns talkingnon-stop for two minutes without usingthe word. If that person messes up, heloses a life.

Play continues with the same worduntil all players have had a chance, thena new word is chosen and play beginsagain. The winner is the player who isstill alive!

I know what youre probably thinkingright now. Something like, This guyhas pushed his headphones a little toofar into his ears.

Well, fear not, my word-chompingchums, you will know how to playbefore you can say YOU-DONT-

SAY BUFFET!

Reci p eser

v es:3

o r m or e p la y e r s(a sm a ll g r ou p is be s t)i ngr ed i ents: Conce n tr a tion W a tch o r kitch e n tim er

evitation

Words such as yes , no , this ,and that are hard to avoidsometim es, and if you reallywant to make it difficult, try to

not use the words and and I!


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Pigs-Latin in a BlanketOday ouyay inkthay athay eway arewayavinghay unfay etyay?

Wrapped in a warm pastry of confusion, Pig Latin is one of the easiest (and most enter-taining) languages for kids to speak. Allyou have to do is remove the first letter

(unless its a vowel) of a word, move itto the end, and add AY. Or, if the wordbegins with a double letter sound, liketh or gr, move both letters to theend. If the word begins with a vowel,simply add the letters WAY or YAY tothe end of it.

I always thought it was funny whenmy parents would talk about Christmas

presents using Pig Latin, cause I alwaysknew what they were saying. It was agood time for me to play stupid.

So, fire up that oven between your ears,abgray omesay otdogshay, andway etslayavehay omesay unfay. Allway ouyayeednay isway ouryay imaginationway!

Lets Cook!Find a favorite book and take turnsreading paragraphs from it to one anotherin Pig Latin. At first it may seem difficult,because you are literally translating alanguage as you speak.

The more times you do it, the easier itwill become. Soon you can become a PigLatinspeaking foreign correspondent!

jargon, opish, turkey Irish,Ubbi Dubbi

Re c i p e ser v es: 3 o r m or e p lay e r si ngr ed i ents:

A book and som e m e n t a l ene r gy

Can you f igure out (see art) what Britney is getting for her birthday? To test your skill, check your answers on page 124.

Baxter Says: Be careful when using a secret language, because the one thing it states very clearly is I have some-thing to h ide. So, all detectivesears will pick up. Plus, most adultsused to speak Pig Latin, too,because kids have been speakingPig Latin for a long, long time!


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Hink-Pinks can also beplayed with two-syllablewords (Hinky-Pinky) andthree-syllable words (Hinkiddy-Pinkiddy). Award additionalpoints for anyone who comesup w ith Hinky-Pinkies orHinkiddy-Pinkiddies.

106

Hink-Pink Think DrinkI

ve just noticed that I havent wasteda lot of paper on riddles yet. Andwhat kind of place would the

WORDPLAY CAF be if there werent anyriddles? Umm, no, that wasnt a riddle.

One of the easiest r iddle games toplay is called Hink-Pink. You simply

find two words (of one syllable each)that rhyme, then devise a question orriddle. Some examples:

What do you call a home for a smallrodent? (a mouse house )

What do you call a piece of wood whereamphibious creatures sit? (a frog log )

What is an angry father? (a mad dad )

So, get those brain juices flowing with anice, tall glass of HINK-PINK THINKDRINK.

Lets Cook!Make up a pitcher of pink lemonadewhile your players are gathering theirthoughts. Have all players come up withtheir own Hink-Pinks, then let eachplayer ask a riddle of the rest.

Keep track of who gets the most

answers after each round, name thatperson the Pink Wizard, and toasther with pink lemonade!

Rec i pese r ves :4 o r m ore p la ye rs

i ng red ie n ts : Pink le m ona de m ix

Pe ncils a nd pa pe r o r Nood le Book

A rh ym ing d ic t iona r y m igh t he lp ,

bu t i t s no t ne ce ssa r y

Documents

WordPlay Cafe Chapter 4