Nancy Weingard, CLTC,CFP®Vice President, Financial PlanningRobert Weingard, CLTC2255 Glades Road, Suite 120-ABoca Raton, FL 33431561-997-9100866-206-2609nancy.weingard@raymondjames.comWeingardwealthmanagement.com

Women: Living in theSandwich Generation

August 07, 2013

At a time when your career is reaching a peak andyou are looking ahead to your own retirement, youmay find yourself in the position of having to help yourchildren with college expenses or the financialchallenges of young adulthood while at the same timelooking after the needs of your aging parents.Squeezed in the middle, you're in the "sandwichgeneration"--a group loosely defined as people intheir 40s to 60s who are "sandwiched" betweencaring for children and aging parents.

The fact is, women are the ones who most often stepinto the caregiving role.* As more women havechildren later in life and more parents live longer lives,the ranks of the sandwich generation are likely togrow in the years ahead. If you find yourselfsandwiched between caregiving demands, here aresome strategies to navigate this life phase.

Setting prioritiesThe day-to-day demands of caring for both an agingparent and children can put a tremendous strain--bothemotional and financial--on the primary caregiver.This is especially true when adult siblings or familymembers don't agree on the best course of action forelder care, don't pitch in to do their share, or don'tcontribute enough financially to the cost of that care.

The first thing to do is get yourself in the propermindset. This life phase could last one or two years,or it could last many more. In any case, try to treatthis stage as a marathon and pace yourself; you don'twant to start sprinting right out of the gate and burnout too soon.

Encourage open communication with your family tofigure out ways to share the financial, emotional, andtime burdens. Hold regular meetings to discussissues, set priorities, and delegate tasks. Women areoften conditioned to believe they have to "do it all,"but there is no reason why adult siblings (if you haveany) can't share at least some of the workload.

It's important for caregivers to get their own financialhouse in order. Ironically, at the very time you need to

do this, the demands of caregiving may cause you tolose income because you have to step back atwork--through reduced hours, unpaid time off, orturning down a promotion. Here are some tips to getyour finances on track:

• Establish a budget and stick to it.• Keep your debt under control. Consumer debt (i.e.,

car payments, credit cards) should account for nomore than 20% of your take-home pay.

• Invest in your own future by putting as much asyou can into your retirement plan, and avoidraiding it to pay for your parent's care or yourchild's college education.

• Don't quit your job before exploring otherarrangements. If you need more time at home thanvacation or personal days can provide, ask youremployer if you can telecommute, flex your hours,reduce your hours temporarily, or take unpaidleave. Another option is to enroll your parent in anadult day-care program or hire a home health aideto fill the gaps. Some employers offer elder-careresource locators or other caregiving support as anemployee benefit, so make sure to check.Permanently leaving your job should be a lastresort--time out of the workforce will reduce notonly your earnings but possibly your SocialSecurity benefit at retirement as well.

Caring for your parentsTalk to your parents about their financial resources.Do they have retirement income? Long-term careinsurance? Do they own their home? Learn thewhereabouts of all their documents and accounts, aswell as the financial professionals and friends theyrely on for advice and support.

Much depends on whether your parent is living withyou or out of town. If your parent lives a distanceaway, you'll have to monitor his or her welfare fromafar--a challenging task. According to the NationalInstitute on Aging, about 7 million Americans arelong-distance caregivers. Though caregiving can be a

The day-to-day demandsof caring for an agingparent and children canput a tremendousstrain--both emotionaland financial--on theprimary caregiver. Besure to set priorities andencourage opencommunication with yourentire family to figure outways to share theburdens.

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Prepared by Broadridge Investor Communication Solutions, Inc. Copyright 2013

This information was developed by Forefield, Inc. an independent third party. It is general in nature, is not a complete statement of all informationnecessary for making an investment decision, and is not a recommendation or a solicitation to buy or sell any security. Investments andstrategies mentioned may not be suitable for all investors. Past performance may not be indicative of future results. Raymond James &Associates, Inc. does not provide advice on tax, legal or mortgage issues. These matters should be discussed with an appropriate professional.

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major stress on anyone, distance can magnify it--dailyphone calls or video chats might not be enough, andtraveling to your parent's home can be expensive anddifficult to manage with your work and familyresponsibilities.

If your parent's needs are great enough, you maywant to consider hiring a geriatric care manager, whocan help oversee your parent's care and direct you tothe right community resources, and/or a home healthaide, who can check in on your parent during theweek. Here are some things you should do:

• Take inventory of your parent's assets andconsolidate his or her financial accounts.

• Get a current list of the medicines your parenttakes and the doctors he or she sees.

• Have your parent establish a durable power ofattorney and health-care directive, which gives youlegal authority to handle financial and health-caredecisions if your parent becomes incapacitated.And make sure your parent has a will.

• Consider consulting a tax professional to see if youmight be entitled to potential tax benefits as aresult of your caregiving; for example, you mightbe able to claim your parent as a dependent.

• If your parent's needs are great enough, you mightneed to go a step further and exploreassisted-living options or nursing homes.

Eventually, you might decide that your parent needsto move in with you. In that case, here are somesuggestions to make that transition:

• Talk with your parent in advance about both ofyour expectations and concerns.

• If possible, set up a separate room and phone foryour parent for some space and privacy.

• Research local programs to see what resourcesare offered for seniors; for example, the seniorcenter may offer social gatherings or adult daycare that can give you a much needed break.

• Ask and expect adult siblings to help out. Siblingswho may live far away and can't help out physicallyon a regular basis, for example, can make afinancial contribution that can help you hireassistance. They can also research assisted-livingor nursing home options. Don't try to do everythingyourself.

• Keep the lines of communication open, which cango a long way to the smooth running of yourmultigenerational family.

Meeting the needs of your childrenYour children may be feeling the effect of yoursituation more than you think, especially if they areteenagers. At a time when they still need yourpatience and attention, you may be preoccupied withyour parent's care, meeting your work deadlines, andjuggling your financial obligations. Here are somethings to keep in mind as you try to balance yourfamily's needs:

• Explain what changes may come about as youbegin caring for your parent. Talk honestly aboutthe pros and cons of having a grandparent in thehouse, and be sympathetic and supportive of yourchildren (and your spouse) as they try to adjust.Ask them to take responsibility for certain chores,but don't expect them to be the main caregivers.

• Discuss college plans. Encourage realisticexpectations about the college they may be able toattend. Your kids may have to settle for less thanthey wanted, or at least get a job to help meetcosts.

• Teach your kids how to spend wisely and setfinancial priorities.

• Try to build in some special time with your childrendoing an activity they enjoy.

• If you have "boomerang children" who've returnedhome, make sure to share your expectations withthem, too. Expect help with chores (above andbeyond their own laundry and meal prep),occasional simple caregiving, and a financialcontribution to monthly household expenses.

Considering your needsThis stage of your life could last many years, or just afew. Try to pace yourself so you can make it for thelong haul. As much as you can, try to get adequatesleep, eat nutritiously, and exercise--all things that willincrease your ability to cope. Don't feel guilty abouttaking time for yourself when you need it, whether it'sa couple of hours holed up with a book or out to themovies, or a longer weekend getaway. When you putyour own needs first occasionally and look afteryourself, you'll be in a better position to care for thosearound you.

*The National Clearinghouse for Long-Term CareInformation, 2012

If your parent lives adistance away, you'llhave to monitor his orher welfare from afar--achallenging task.According to the NationalInstitute on Aging, about7 million Americans arelong-distance caregivers.Though caregiving canbe a major stress onanyone, distance canmagnify it.

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