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What’s the line between friend and
disciplinarian? How can I engage and encourage my student
while I still have some concerns on my mind? Why do they shut me down every time I try to
talk about important things? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A0ZpuA8_YYk
Parenting is tough
Every student is different Each student is facing unique challenges That we don’t know everything That you know your child best
We Know…
Please write down a concern you have for
communicating with your student We may not be able to speak specifically to your student, but we do have some data about students and communication in general.
Based on the National PTA suggestions, we have Ten Tips to possibly help open communication between you and your child
So how can we help you?
When your child actually does want to talk, try to stop
what your doing and give them your full attention. Try to avoid jumping in until they have completely
vented everything out…easier said than done, we know.
Sometimes they just want to talk and not have it fixed (they feel more empowered when they solve the problem themselves)
Try reflecting what they said so that they know you are listening and that they are being heard correctly. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4VOubVB4CTU
Tip 1: Listen
Let them know 2 or 3 options (and possibly
consequences) they can choose from Let them come up with different possibilities
to the problem This helps make the conversation a two way
street rather than a power struggle Often they are able to work out solutions for
themselves but just need to vocalize everything first
Tip 2: There is power in choice
Once again, easier said than done They are listening, even if you think its just a
small passing remark Try softening strong reactions or taking a time
out before addressing the problem
Tip 3: Avoid saying things out of anger
When a child confides in you, try to encourage
them with the fact that they did talk to you about an issue
Its difficult to admit mistakes and it’s even harder to tell it to a parent and feel like a disappointment
Validate their emotions, even if you disagree https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m5yCOSHeYn4
Tip 4: Be a source of encouragement
Try putting yourself in your child’s shoes and
see the problem from their point of view Think about how difficult the conversation
may be for your child and take time to think before you react
Possibly have a safe place where they can tell you what’s happening that won’t embarrass or feel on the defensive The car Dinner
Tip 5: Make your conversations places of
comfort
Try not to take over the conversation and
allow your child to respond Adolescents may feel like they are
disappointing you and not open up if they don’t have the “right” answers to share
When needing to discuss a disciplinary issues, try addressing the behavior or action and not the child
Tip 6: Avoid the drill routine or 20?s
Randomly follow up on a previous
conversation or subject of interest This helps them to know that you listened and
care Try telling them something that has happened
in your day to start a conversation
Tip 7: Make a point of being an initiator
We all have busy schedules, but taking the time to
spend it with your child during the week is important too. Monthly game nights where they can even invite a
friend Watching a movie together Learning something new together Shopping Play a sport together Helping with homework http://
www.bing.com/videos/search?q=extranormal+parents+kids+spending+time&FORM=HDRSC3#view=detail&mid=F85E51295FA7B506EF53F85E51295FA7B506EF53
Tip 8: Take time to share
Sometimes admitting that you are human and
make mistakes goes a long way in building that relationship.
Tip 9: Apologize when you are wrong
Tell them that you love them Teens are still trying to figure out what love is
and what it looks like…sometimes if you don’t say it overtly they don’t think its there
Show your child that you love them for them, not just when things are going well
Tip 10: Love them
What you probably don’t enjoy talking about,
they probably like even less Students often model what they see
How you express yourself or start a conversation often affects how they will reply
The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree