Why Would a Good God Allow Suffering - Our Daily Bread ...web001.rbc.org/.../why-would-a-good-god-allow-suffering.pdf · A GOOD GOD ALLOW SUFFERING? I ... Any one of these problems

WHY WOULD AGOOD GOD ALLOWSUFFERING?

IIt’s an old question. Fourthousand years ago, a victimof personal, family, and

financial reversals spoke to thesilent heavens and pleaded,“Show me why You contend withme. Does it seem good to Youthat You should oppress, that Youshould despise the work of Yourhands?” (Job 10:2-3). Thequestions are still being asked.“Does God hate me? Is this whyHe is allowing me to suffer likethis? Why me and not others?”

There are answers. Notexhaustive, but enough to keepour pain in perspective. Enoughto show us how to put suffering towork for us. In the followingpages, Our Daily Bread managingeditor Kurt De Haan shows usthat while heaven may not beanswering all our questions, it isgiving us all the answers we needto trust and love the One who, inour pain, is calling us to Himself.

Martin R. De Haan II

Managing Editor: David Sper Cover Design: Terry BidgoodScripture quotations are from the New King James Version, ©1979, 1980, 1982, ThomasNelson, Inc., PublishersCopyright © 1990, 2001 RBC Ministries, Grand Rapids, Michigan Printed in USA

CONTENTS

Elusive Answers . . . . . . . 2

Why Would A Good God Allow Suffering? . . . . . . . . . . . . 4

To Alert Us. . . . . . . . . 5

To Direct Us. . . . . . . 15

To Shape Us. . . . . . . 21

To Unite Us . . . . . . . 26

How Can You Help? . . . . . . . . . . 30

Better Than Answers. . . . . . . . . . . . 32

© RBC Ministries. All rights reserved.

ELUSIVEANSWERS

LLife can be hard to understand. In trying to come to grips with

the cold realities of ourexistence, we can easilybecome frustrated. We longfor answers to the immenseproblem of suffering. Wemay even wonder if we willever fully comprehend whybad things happen to goodpeople and why good thingshappen to bad people. Theanswers often seem to beelusive, hidden, out-of-reach.

Oh, it makes sense thata terrorist would be killedby his own bomb. It makessense that a reckless driverwould be in a seriousaccident. It makes sensethat a person who playswith fire would get burned.It even makes sense that achain-smoker woulddevelop lung cancer.

But what about theinnocent men, women, andchildren who are killed by a terrorist’s bomb? Whatabout the young driver whosuffers severe brain damagebecause a drunk veeredover the center line? Whatabout the person whosehome burns down due tono fault of his own? Andwhat about the 2-year-oldchild with leukemia?

It is dangerous, evenfoolish, to pretend that wehave a complete answer as to why God allowssuffering. The reasons aremany and complex. It’s justas wrong to demand thatwe should understand.When the Old Testamentsufferer Job realized that hehad no right to demand ananswer from God, he said,“Therefore I have utteredwhat I did not understand,things too wonderful for me, which I did not know”(Job 42:3).

But God has given us 2


some answers. Although we may not be able toknow why one person getssingled out for a disease, we can know part of thereason why diseases exist.And even though we maynot understand why we facea certain problem, we canknow how to deal with thesituation and respond in away that pleases the Lord.

One more thing. I amnot going to pretend that I fully understand thesuffering that youpersonally may beexperiencing. Although

some aspects of humanpain are common, theparticulars are different.And what you may needmost right now is not afour-point outline on whyyou are suffering or evenwhat to do about it. Whatyou may need most is ahug, a listening ear, orsomeone who will just sitwith you in silence.Sometime along the way,however, you will want andneed the truths of God’sWord to comfort you andhelp you to see your plightfrom God’s perspective.

You and I need morethan untested theories.That’s why in the pages that follow I have tried toinclude the insights ofpeople who have suffered a variety of physical andemotional pains. My prayerfor you is that your faith inGod will stand firm evenwhen your world seems tobe falling apart.

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“The fact ofsuffering

undoubtedlyconstitutes thesingle greatest

challenge to theChristian faith.”

—John Stott


WHY WOULD A GOOD GODALLOWSUFFERING?

IIn our world of pain,where is God? If He is good and

compassionate, why is lifeoften so tragic? Has He lostcontrol? Or, if He is incontrol, what is He trying to do to me and to others?

Some people havechosen to deny God’sexistence because theycannot imagine a God whowould allow such misery.Some believe that Godexists, but they wantnothing to do with Himbecause they don’t think Hecould be good. Others havesettled for a belief in akindly God who loves usbut has lost control of arebellious planet. Stillothers cling tenaciously to abelief in an all-wise, all-powerful, loving God whosomehow uses evil for good.

As we search the Bible,we discover that it paints apicture of a God who cando anything He chooses to do. Sometimes He hasacted in mercy andperformed miracles inbehalf of His people. Atother times, though, He has chosen to do nothing to stop tragedy. He issupposed to be intimatelyinvolved in our lives, yet attimes He seems deaf to ourcries for help. In the Bible,He assures us that Hecontrols all that happens,but He sometimes lets usbe the targets of evil people,bad genes, dangerousviruses, or natural disasters.

If you’re like me, youlong for some way to puttogether an answer to thispuzzling issue of suffering. I believe that God has givenus enough pieces of thepuzzle to help us trust Himeven when we don’t haveall the information wewould like. In this brief

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study we will see that thebasic answers of the Bibleare that our good Godallows pain and suffering inour world to alert us to theproblem of sin, to direct usto respond to Him in faithand hope, to shape us to be more like Christ, and tounite us so that we will helpeach other.

TO ALERT USImagine a world withoutpain. What would it be like? At first the idea maysound appealing. No more headaches. No morebackaches. No more upset stomachs. No morethrobbing sensations whenthe hammer misses the mark

and lands on your thumb.No more sore throats. Butthere would also be no moresensation to alert you of abroken bone or tearingligaments. No alarm to letyou know that an ulcer iseating a hole in yourstomach. No discomfort towarn of a cancerous tumorthat is gathering forces for atakeover of your body. Noangina to let you know thatthe blood vessels to yourheart are clogging up. Nopain to signal a rupturedappendix.

As much as we mayabhor pain, we have toadmit that it often serves agood purpose. It warns uswhen something goeswrong. The cause of themisery, rather than theagony itself, is the realproblem. Pain is merely asymptom, a siren or bellthat sounds when a part ofthe body is endangered orunder attack.

In this section we will 5

WHY SUFFERING?

TO ALERT US


see how pain could beGod’s way to alert us that:1. Something’s wrong with

the world.2. Something’s wrong with

God’s creatures.3. Something’s wrong with

me.Any one of these

problems could be thereason for the pain in ourlives. Let’s look at eachpossible diagnosis.

1. Something’s WrongWith The World. The sorry condition of our planetindicates that something has gone terribly wrong. The suffering we experienceand the distress we sense inothers indicate that sufferingdoes not discriminate on thebasis of race, social status,religion, or even morality. It can seem cruel, random,purposeless, grotesque, and wildly out of control.Bad things happen to people who try to be good,and good things happen topeople who enjoy being bad.

The seeming unfairnessof it all has struck close toeach of us. I rememberwatching my grandmotheras she was dying of cancer.Grandma and GrandpaBlohm moved in with ourfamily. My mother, aregistered nurse, took care ofher during her final months.Mom administered the painkiller. Grandpa desperatelywanted her to be healed.Then the day came whenthe hearse pulled up andtook away her frail, wastedbody. I knew she was inheaven, but it still hurt. Ihated cancer—I still do.

As I sit here thinking of all the suffering that myfriends, co-workers, family,neighbors, and churchfamily have experienced, I can hardly believe thelength of the list—and mylist is incomplete. So oftenthese people have sufferedthrough no apparent faultof their own. An accident, a birth defect, a genetic

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disorder, a miscarriage, an abusive parent, chronicpain, a rebellious child, a severe illness, randomdisease, the death of aspouse or a child, a brokenrelationship, a naturaldisaster. It just doesn’t seemfair. From time to time I’mtempted to give in tofrustration.

How do we resolve this?How do we live with thecold facts of life withoutdenying reality or beingovercome with despair?Couldn’t God have created aworld where nothing would

ever go wrong? Couldn’t Hehave made a world wherepeople would never have theability to make a bad choiceor ever hurt another person?Couldn’t He have made aworld where mosquitos,weeds, and cancer wouldnever exist. He could have—but He didn’t.

The great gift of humanfreedom that He has givento us, the ability to choose,carries with it the risk ofmaking wrong choices.

If you could choosebetween being a free-thinking creature in a world where bad choicesproduce suffering, or beinga robot in a world withoutpain, what would youdecide? What kind of beingwould bring more honor toGod? What kind of creaturewould love Him more?

We could have beencreated to be like the cutebattery-operated dolls thatsay “I love you” whenhugged. But God had other

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“The Bible tracesthe entrance of

suffering and evilinto the world to agrand but terriblequality of human

beings—freedom.”–Philip Yancey


plans. He took a “risk” tocreate beings who could dothe unthinkable— rebelagainst their Creator.

What happened inparadise? Temptation, bad choices, and tragicconsequences destroyed the tranquility of Adam and Eve’s existence.Genesis 2 and 3 detail how Satan tested their lovefor the Lord—and theyfailed. In biblical terms,that failure is called sin.And just as the AIDS virusinfects a body, breaks downthe body’s immune system,and leads to death, so alsosin spreads as a deadlyinfection that passes fromone generation to the next. Each new generationinherits the effects of sinand the desire to sin (Rom.1:18-32; 5:12,15,18).

Not only did the entranceof sin into the world havedevastating effects on thenature of human beings, but sin also brought about

immediate and continualjudgment from God. Genesis3 relates how physical andspiritual death became apart of human existence(vv.3,19), childbirth becamepainful (v.16), the groundwas cursed with weeds thatwould make man’s workvery difficult (vv.17-19),

and Adam and Eve wereevicted from the specialGarden where they hadenjoyed intimate fellowshipwith God (vv.23-24).

In the New Testament, 8

“God whispers to us in our

pleasures, speaksin our conscience, but shouts in ourpains; it is Hismegaphone

to rouse a deaf world.”

—C. S. Lewis


the apostle Paul describedthe whole creation of God as groaning and eagerlyanticipating the time when itwill be freed from the curseof decay and be remade,free from the effects of sin(Rom. 8:19-22).

Disease, disaster, andcorruption are symptoms of a deeper problem—thehuman race has rebelledagainst the Creator. Everysorrow, grief, and agony are vivid reminders of ourhuman predicament. Like ahuge neon sign, the realityof suffering screams themessage that the world isnot the way God created itto be.

Therefore, the first andmost basic answer to theproblem of the existence ofsuffering is that it is thedirect result of sin’s entranceinto the world. Pain alertsus that a spiritual disease iswracking our planet. Manytimes our troubles may bemerely the side-effects of

living in a fallen world,through no direct fault ofour own.

2. Something’s WrongWith God’s Creatures. Wecan be targets of cruel actsfrom other people or fromSatan’s rebel army. Bothfallen human beings andfallen spirit beings (angelswho have rebelled) havethe capacity to makedecisions that damagethemselves and others.

Suffering can be causedby people. As free (and sin-infected) creatures, peoplehave made and willcontinue to make many bad choices in life. Thesebad choices often affectother people.

For example, one ofAdam’s sons, Cain, made achoice to kill his brotherAbel (Gen. 4:7-8). Lamechboasted about his violence(vv.23-24). Sarai mistreatedHagar (Gen. 16:1-6). Labanswindled his nephew Jacob(Gen. 29:15-30). Joseph’s

9


brothers sold him intoslavery (Gen. 37:12-36), and then Potiphar’s wifefalsely accused him ofattempted rape and had him thrown into prison(Gen. 39). Pharaoh cruellymistreated the Jewish slavesin Egypt (Ex. 1). King Herodslaughtered all the babieswho lived in and aroundBethlehem in an attempt tokill Jesus (Mt. 2:16-18).

The hurt that othersinflict on us may be due toselfishness on their part. Or we may be the target ofpersecution because of ourfaith in Christ. Throughouthistory, people who haveidentified with the Lord havesuffered at the hands ofthose who rebelled againstGod.

Before his conversion,Saul was a rabid anti-Christian who did all hecould to make life miserablefor believers—even workingto have them put to death(Acts 7:54–8:3). But after his

dramatic turn to the LordJesus, he bravely endured all types of persecution ashe boldly proclaimed thegospel message (2 Cor. 4:7-12; 6:1-10). He could evensay that the suffering heendured helped to make himmore like Christ (Phil. 3:10).

Suffering can also becaused by Satan anddemons. Job’s life story is a vivid example of how agood person can sufferincredible tragedy becauseof satanic attack. Godallowed Satan to take awayJob’s possessions, his family,and his health (Job 1–2).

I cringed even as I wrotethe preceding sentence.Somehow, and for Hisreasons, God allowed Satan to devastate Job’s life. We may tend tocompare this to a father who allows theneighborhood bully to beat up his children just tosee if they would still loveDad afterward. But, as Job

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came to realize, that’s not a fair assessment whenspeaking about our wiseand loving God.

We know, though Job didnot, that his life was a testcase, a living testimonial tothe trustworthiness of God.Job illustrated that a personcan trust God and maintainintegrity even when life fallsapart (for whatever reason),because God is worthtrusting. In the end, Job

learned that even though he didn’t understand whatGod was up to, he hadplenty of reason to believethat God was not beingunjust, cruel, sadistic, orunfair by allowing his life to be ripped apart (Job 42).

The apostle Paulexperienced a physical

problem that he attributedto Satan. He called it a“thorn in the flesh . . . , a messenger of Satan tobuffet me” (2 Cor. 12:7).Paul prayed to be freedfrom the problem, but Goddidn’t give him what heasked for. Instead, the Lordhelped him to see how thisdifficulty could serve a goodpurpose. It made Paulhumbly dependent on theLord and put him in aposition to experience Hisgrace (vv.8-10).

Although most cases ofsickness cannot be directlytied to Satan’s work, thegospel accounts do record a few examples of sufferingattributed to Satan,including a blind and mute man (Mt. 12:22) and a boy who sufferedseizures (17:14-18).

3. Something’s WrongWith Me. Too often whensomething goes wrong in ourlives we immediately jumpto the conclusion that God

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“Shall we acceptgood from God,

and not trouble?”—Job 2:10 (NIV)


is whipping us because ofsome sin we’ve committed.That’s not necessarily true. As I indicated in theprevious points, much of thesuffering that comes into ourlives is because we live in abroken world inhabited bybroken people andrebellious spirit beings.

Job’s friends mistakenlythought that he wassuffering because of sin inhis life (Job 4:7,8; 8:1-6;22:4,5; 36:17). Jesus’ owndisciples jumped to thewrong conclusion when theysaw a blind man. Theywondered if the man’s sightproblem was due to hispersonal sin or because ofsomething his parents haddone (Jn. 9:1-2). Jesus toldthem that the man’s physicalproblem was not related tohis personal sin or the sin ofhis parents (v.3).

With these cautions inmind, we need to deal withthe hard truth that somesuffering does come as the

direct consequence of sin—either as correctivediscipline from God forthose He loves, or punitiveaction by God upon rebelsin His universe.

Correction. If you and I have placed our trust inJesus Christ as our Savior,we are children of God. As such, we are part of afamily headed by a lovingFather who trains andcorrects us. He’s not anabusive, sadistic parent whodishes out severe beatingsbecause He gets sometwisted pleasure out of it.

Hebrews 12 states:My son, do not despisethe chastening of theLord, nor be discouragedwhen you are rebuked byHim; for whom the Lordloves He chastens, and scourges every sonwhom He receives. . . .Furthermore, we have had human fathers whocorrected us, and we paidthem respect. Shall we not

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much more readily be insubjection to the Father ofspirits and live? For theyindeed for a few dayschastened us as seemedbest to them, but He forour profit, that we may bepartakers of His holiness(vv.5-6,9-10).And to the church in

Laodicea, Jesus said, “Asmany as I love, I rebukeand chasten. Therefore be zealous and repent”(Rev. 3:19).

King David knew what itwas like to experience thetough love of the Lord. Afterhis adultery with Bathshebaand his conniving to ensurethat her husband would bekilled in battle, David didnot repent until the prophetNathan confronted him.Psalm 51 recounts David’sstruggle with guilt and hiscry for forgiveness. Inanother psalm, Davidreflected on the effects ofcovering up and ignoringsin. He wrote, “When I kept

silent, my bones grew oldthrough my groaning all theday long. For day and nightYour hand was heavy uponme” (Ps. 32:3-4).

In 1 Corinthians 11:27-32, the apostle Paul warnedbelievers that treating thethings of the Lord lightly—partaking of the Lord’sSupper without taking itseriously—will bringdiscipline. Paul explainedthat this discipline of theLord was purposeful. Hesaid, “When we are judged,

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“My son, do notdespise the

chastening of theLord, nor be

discouraged whenyou are rebuked byHim; for whom the

Lord loves Hechastens.”

—Hebrews 12:5-6


we are chastened by theLord, that we may not be condemned with theworld” (v.32).

Most of us canunderstand the principlethat whom God loves Hedisciplines. We wouldexpect a loving Father tocorrect us and call us torenew our obedience toHim.

Judgment. God also acts to deal with stubbornunbelievers who persist indoing evil. A person whohas not received God’s giftof salvation can expect toreceive God’s wrath at afuture day of judgment and faces the danger ofharsh judgment now if God so chooses.

The Lord brought theflood to destroy decadenthumanity (Gen. 6). He destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah (Gen.18–19). He sent plagues on the Egyptians (Ex.7–12). He commanded

Israel to completely destroythe pagans who inhabitedthe Promised Land (Dt. 7:1-3). He struck down thearrogant King Herod of New Testament times (Acts12:19-23). And at the futureday of judgment, God willdeal out perfect justice toall those who reject Hislove and rule (2 Pet. 2:4-9).

In the here-and-now,however, we face inequities.For His all-wise reasons,God has chosen to delayHis perfect justice. The psalm writer Asaphstruggled with this apparentunfairness of life. He wroteabout the wicked who weregetting away with their evil deeds, even prospering,while many of the righteouswere having troubles (Ps.73). Concerning theprosperity of the wicked hesaid, “When I thought howto understand this, it wastoo painful for me—until Iwent into the sanctuary ofGod; then I understood

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their end” (vv.16-17). Bythinking of the sovereignLord of the universe, Asaphwas able to get things backinto perspective.

When we struggle with the reality that wickedpeople are literally “gettingaway with murder” and allsorts of immorality, we needto remember that “the Lordis . . . longsuffering towardus, not willing that anyshould perish but that allshould come to repentance”(2 Pet. 3:9).

The first part of theanswer, then, to the problemof suffering is that God usesit to alert us to seriousproblems. Pain sounds the alarm that indicatessomething is wrong with the world, with humanity atlarge, and with you and me.But as we will see in thenext section, God not onlysignals the problems, Healso uses troubles toencourage us to find thesolutions—in Him.

TO DIRECT USWhen a person turns awayfrom God, suffering oftengets the blame. Butstrangely, suffering also gets the credit when peopledescribe what redirectedtheir lives, helped them tosee life more clearly, andcaused their relationshipwith God to grow closer.How can similarcircumstances have such radically differenteffects on people? Thereasons lie deep within thepeople, not the events.

A well-known andoutspoken media leaderpublicly denouncedChristianity as “a religion

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WHY SUFFERING?

TO DIRECT US

TO ALERT US


for losers.” But he has notalways felt that way. As ayoung man he had Bibletraining, including aChristian prep school.When joking about theheavy indoctrination hereceived, he said, “I think Iwas saved seven or eighttimes.” But then a painfulexperience changed hisoutlook on life and God.His younger sister becamevery ill. He prayed for herhealing, but after 5 years of suffering she died. Hebecame disillusioned with a God who would allowthat to happen. He said, “Ibegan to lose my faith, andthe more I lost it the betterI felt.”

What makes thedifference between someonelike him and a person likeJoni Eareckson Tada? InWhere Is God When ItHurts? Philip Yanceydescribes the gradualtransformation that tookplace in Joni’s attitude

in the years after she was paralyzed in a divingaccident.

“At first, Joni found itimpossible to reconcile hercondition with her belief in aloving God. . . . The turningto God was very gradual. Amelting in her attitude frombitterness to trust draggedout over three years of tearsand violent questioning”(pp.133-134).

A turning point came theevening that a close friend,Cindy, told her, “Joni, youaren’t the only one. Jesusknows how you feel—why,He was paralyzed too.”Cindy described how Jesuswas fastened to the cross,paralyzed by the nails.

Yancey then observed,“The thought intrigued Joniand, for a moment, took hermind off her own pain. Ithad never occurred to herthat God might have felt thesame piercing sensationsthat now racked her body.The realization was

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profoundly comforting”(p.134).

Instead of continuing to search for why thedevastating accidentoccurred, Joni has beenforced to depend moreheavily on the Lord and to look at life from a long-range perspective.

Yancey further saysabout Joni, “She wrestledwith God, yes, but she didnot turn away from Him. . . .Joni now calls her accident a ‘glorious intruder,’ andclaims it was the best thingthat ever happened to her.God used it to get herattention and direct herthoughts toward Him”(pp.137-138).

This principle thatsuffering can producehealthy dependence onGod is taught by theapostle Paul in one of hisletters to the church inCorinth. He wrote:

We do not want you to beignorant, brethren, of our

trouble which came to us in Asia: that we were burdened beyondmeasure, above strength,so that we despaired evenof life. Yes, we had thesentence of death inourselves, that we shouldnot trust in ourselves butin God who raises thedead (2 Cor. 1:8-9). A similar idea can be

found in Paul’s commentsabout his physical troubles.

The Lord told Paul, “Mygrace is sufficient for you,for My strength is madeperfect in weakness” (2 Cor.12:9). Then Paul added,“Therefore I take pleasurein infirmities, in reproaches,in needs, in persecutions, in

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“My grace issufficient for you,for My strength is made perfect in weakness.”

—2 Corinthians 12:9


distresses, for Christ’s sake.For when I am weak, then Iam strong” (v.10).

Suffering has a way ofshowing how limited andweak our own resourcesreally are. It forces us torethink priorities, values,goals, dreams, pleasures,the source of real strength, and our relationships withpeople and with God. It has a way of directing ourattention to spiritualrealities—if we don’t turnfrom God instead.

Suffering forces us toevaluate the direction of our lives. We can choose to despair by focusing onour present problems, or we can choose to hope byrecognizing God’s long-range plan for us (Rom. 5:5;8:18-28; Heb. 11).

Of all the passages in theBible, Hebrews 11 mostreassures me that whetherlife is grand or grotesque, my response needs to beone of faith in the wisdom,

power, and control of God.No matter what, I have goodreason to trust Him—just asthe great men and women ofold hoped in Him.

For example, Hebrews 11reminds us about Noah, aman who spent 120 yearswaiting for God to fulfill Hispromise of a devastatingflood (Gen. 6:3). Abrahamwaited many agonizingyears before the child whomGod had promised wasfinally born. Joseph was soldinto slavery and wrongfullyimprisoned, but he finallysaw how God used all theapparent evil in his life for agood purpose (Gen. 50:20).Moses waited until he was80 years old before God

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“Faith is thesubstance of things

hoped for, theevidence of things

not seen.”—Hebrews 11:1


used him to help deliver theJews from Egypt. And eventhen, leading those faith-deficient people was astruggle (see Exodus).

Hebrews 11 lists peoplelike Gideon, Samson, David,and Samuel, who saw greatvictories as they lived for theLord. But in the middle ofverse 35 the mood changes.Suddenly we are face-to-facewith people who had toendure incredible suffering—people who died withoutseeing why God allowedthem to undergo suchtragedies. These individualswere tortured, jeered,flogged, stoned, cut in half,stabbed, mistreated, andforced to live as outcasts(vv.35-38). God had plannedthat only in the long-rangeview of eternity would theirfaithfulness during hardshipbe rewarded (vv.39-40).

Pain forces us to lookbeyond our immediatecircumstances. Sufferingdrives us to ask the big

questions of “Why am Ihere?” and “What’s thepurpose of my life?” Bypursuing those questionsand finding the answers inthe God of the Bible, we willfind the stability we need toendure even the worst thatlife can inflict because weknow that this present life isnot all there is. When weunderstand that a sovereignGod is standing over all ofhuman history and weavingit all together in a beautifultapestry that will ultimatelyglorify Him, then we can seethings in better perspective.

In Romans 8:18 theapostle Paul wrote, “For Iconsider that the sufferingsof this present time are notworthy to be compared withthe glory which shall berevealed in us.” Paul was notmaking light of our troubles,but he was telling believersto see our present troubles in light of all eternity. Ourproblems may indeed beheavy, even crushing.

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But Paul said that whencompared to the incredibleglories that await those wholove God, even the darkestand most burdensomecircumstances of life willfade by comparison.

We need to take time tolook at one more example,perhaps the most significantillustration we couldconsider. The day thatChrist hung on the cross is now referred to as GoodFriday. At the time, it wasanything but a good day. It was a day of intensesuffering, anguish, darkness,and gloom. It was a daywhen Jesus felt all alone. It was a day when Godseemed absent and silent,when evil seemed totriumph, and hopes weredashed. But then cameSunday. Jesus rose from thegrave. That awesome eventput Friday in a differentlight. The resurrection gavea whole new meaning towhat happened on the

cross. Instead of being atime of defeat, it became aday of triumph.

We too can look ahead.We can endure our dark“Fridays” and be able tolook on them as “good”because we serve the Godof Sunday.

So when troubles strike,and they will, rememberthis: God uses suchsituations to direct us toHim and to the long-rangeview of life. He calls for usto trust, to hope, to wait.

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“Happy is he whohas the God of

Jacob for his help,whose hope is inthe Lord his God,who made heavenand earth, the sea,

and all that is in them.”

—Psalm 146:5-6


TO SHAPE USAthletic coaches like to usethe phrase “No pain, nogain.” As a high schooltrack star (Okay, maybe Iwasn’t that great, but I triedhard!), I heard coachesremind us again and againthat the tough practicesessions would pay offwhen we began to compete.They were right. Oh, wedidn’t always win, but ourhard work did produceobvious benefits.

I learned a lot aboutmyself during those years.And now I’m learning evenmore as I discipline myselfto jog daily. Many days Iwould just as soon forget it.

I don’t want to have to feel the pain of stretchingexercises. I would rather notpush my body’s “radiatorsystem” to the extreme. Iwould just as soon not haveto battle fatigue as I go upthe hills. So why do I do it?The gain is worth the pain.My blood pressure andpulse rate are kept low, mymiddle isn’t expanding, andI feel more alert and healthy.

Exercise may haveobvious benefits, but whatabout pain that we don’tchoose? What about illness,disease, accidents, andemotional agony? Whatkind of gain can come fromthose? Is the gain reallyworth the pain?

Let’s consider what afellow-sufferer had to say inRomans 5:3-4. The apostlePaul wrote, “We also gloryin tribulations, knowingthat tribulation producesperseverance; andperseverance, character;and character, hope.”

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WHY SUFFERING?

TO DIRECT US

TO ALERT US

TO SHAPE US


Paul introduced hisstatement about the benefitsof suffering by saying wealso “glory in tribulations.”How could he say that weshould rejoice or be happythat we are having to enduresome painful tragedy? He certainly was not telling usto celebrate our troubles;rather, he was telling us torejoice about what God canand will do for us and forHis glory through our trials.Paul’s statement encouragesus to celebrate the endproduct, not the painfulprocess itself. He did notmean we are to get somesort of morbid joy out ofdeath, cancer, deformity,financial reversals, a brokenrelationship, or a tragicaccident. All these things areawful—a dark reminder thatwe live in a world that hasbeen corrupted by the curseof sin’s effects.

The apostle James alsowrote about how we shouldrejoice in the end result of

our troubles. He said, “Mybrethren, count it all joywhen you fall into varioustrials, knowing that thetesting of your faithproduces patience. But letpatience have its perfectwork, that you may beperfect and complete,lacking nothing” (1:2-4).

As we combine the truthsof these two passages, wecan see how the good andpraiseworthy products ofsuffering are patientperseverance, maturity ofcharacter, and hope. Godcan use the hardships of lifeto shape us to be moremature in the faith, moregodly, more Christlike.

When we trust Christ asour Savior, the Lord doesnot suddenly zap us so thatwe become perfect people.What He does is removesin’s penalty and set us onthe road that leads toheaven. Life then becomesa time of characterdevelopment as we learn

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more about God and howwe are to please Him.Suffering has a way ofdramatically forcing us todeal with the deeper issuesof life. By doing so, we growstronger and gain maturity.

My grandfather, Dr. M. R. De Haan, spokeabout the shaping processof our lives in his bookBroken Things. He wrote:

The greatest sermons Ihave ever heard were not preached from pulpitsbut from sickbeds. Thegreatest, deepest truths ofGod’s Word have oftenbeen revealed not bythose who preached as a

result of their seminarypreparation andeducation, but by those humble souls who have gone throughthe seminary of afflictionand have learnedexperientially the deepthings of the ways of God.

The most cheerfulpeople I have met, withfew exceptions, have beenthose who had the leastsunshine and the mostpain and suffering in theirlives. The most gratefulpeople I have met werenot those who traveled apathway of roses all theirlives through, but thosewho were confined,because of circumstances,to their homes, often totheir beds, and hadlearned to depend uponGod as only suchChristians know how todo. The gripers areusually, I have observed,those who enjoy excellenthealth. The complainers

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“Let patience haveits perfect work,that you may

be perfect and complete,

lacking nothing.”—James 1:4


are those who have theleast to complain about,and those dear saints ofGod who have refreshedmy heart again and againas they preached fromsickbed-pulpits have been the men and womenwho have been the mostcheerful and the mostgrateful for the blessings ofalmighty God (pp.43-44).How have you responded

to the difficulties of life?Have you become bitter orbetter? Have you grown inyour faith or turned awayfrom God? Have you becomemore Christlike in yourcharacter? Have you let itshape you and conform youto the image of God’s Son?

How Do All ThingsWork Together For Good?Perhaps the most quotedpart of the Bible during atime of pain and suffering isRomans 8:28. It reads, “Weknow that all things worktogether for good to thosewho love God, to those who

are the called according toHis purpose.” This verse hasoften been misunderstoodand perhaps misused, but itstruth can bring a great dealof comfort.

The context of Romans 8emphasizes what God isdoing for us. The indwellingHoly Spirit gives us spirituallife (v.9), reassures us thatwe are children of God(v.16), and helps us withour prayers during ourtimes of weakness (vv.26-27). Romans 8 also putsour sufferings in the biggerpicture of what God isdoing—that God is workingout His plan of redemption(vv.18-26). Verses 28through 39 reassure us of God’s love for us, that no one or no thing couldever keep God fromaccomplishing what Hewants to do, and thatnothing could ever separate us from His love.

Properly viewed in thecontext of Romans 8, then,

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verse 28 powerfullyreassures us that God isworking on behalf of allwho have trusted His Sonas Savior. The verse doesnot promise that we willunderstand all the events oflife or that after a time oftesting we will be blessedwith good things in this life.But it does reassure us thatGod is working out Hisgood plan through our lives.He is shaping us and ourcircumstances to bring gloryto Himself.

Author Ron Lee Daviswrites in his book BecomingA Whole Person In A BrokenWorld, “The good news isnot that God will make ourcircumstances come out theway we like, but that Godcan weave even ourdisappointments anddisasters into His eternalplan. The evil that happensto us can be transformedinto God’s good. Romans8:28 is God’s guarantee thatif we love God, our lives

can be used to achieve Hispurposes and further Hiskingdom” (p.122).

“But,” you may ask,“how can God be in controlwhen life seems so out ofcontrol? How can He beworking things together forHis glory and our ultimategood?” In his book WhyUs? Warren Wiersbe states that God “proves His sovereignty, not byintervening constantly andpreventing these events, butby ruling and overrulingthem so that even tragediesend up accomplishing Hisultimate purposes” (p.136).

As the sovereign Lord ofthe universe, God is usingall of life to develop ourmaturity and Christlikeness,and to further His eternalplan. In order to accomplishthose purposes, however,God wants to use us to helpothers, and He wants otherpeople to help us. That’swhat the next section is allabout.

25


TO UNITE USPain and suffering seem tohave a special ability toshow us how much weneed each other. Ourstruggles remind us howfragile we really are. Eventhe weakness of others canbolster us when our ownstrength is sapped.

This truth becomes veryreal to me each time I meetwith a small group of churchfriends for prayer andfellowship. During thoseregular times together, wehave shared one another’sburdens for a sick child, theloss of a job, workplacetensions, a rebellious child,a miscarriage, hostility

among family members,depression, everydaystresses, an unsaved familymember, tough decisions,neighborhood crime, battleswith sin, and much more.Many times at the end ofthose meetings I havepraised the Lord for theencouragement we havegiven to one another. Wehave been drawn closer andwe have been strengthenedas we have faced thestruggles of life together.

These kinds of personalexperiences in light ofScripture remind me of two key truths:1.Suffering helps us to

see our need of otherbelievers.

2.Suffering helps us tomeet the needs of othersas we allow Christ to livethrough us.Let’s take a look at each

of these ways God usespain and suffering for thepurpose of uniting us withother believers in Christ.

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WHY SUFFERING?

TO DIRECT US

TO ALERT US

TO SHAPE USTO UNITE US


1. Suffering Helps Us ToSee Our Need Of OtherBelievers. In describing theunity of all believers inChrist, the apostle Paulused the analogy of ahuman body (1 Cor. 12). He said that we need oneanother to function properly.Paul described the situationthis way: “If one membersuffers, all the memberssuffer with it; or if onemember is honored, all themembers rejoice with it.Now you are the body ofChrist, and membersindividually” (vv.26-27).

In his letter to theEphesians, Paul spoke ofChrist, “from whom thewhole body, joined and knittogether by what every jointsupplies, according to theeffective working by whichevery part does its share,causes growth of the bodyfor the edifying of itself inlove” (Eph. 4:16).

When we begin torecognize what other

believers have to offer us,then we will realize howmuch can be gained byreaching out for their helpwhen we are going througha time of struggle. Whentroubles seem to knock outour strength, we can leanon other believers to helpus find new strength in theLord’s power.

2. Suffering Helps UsTo Meet The Needs OfOthers As We AllowChrist To Live ThroughUs. In 2 Corinthians 1, theapostle Paul wrote,“Blessed be the God andFather of our Lord JesusChrist, the Father ofmercies and God of allcomfort, who comforts us inall our tribulation, that wemay be able to comfortthose who are in anytrouble, with the comfortwith which we ourselves arecomforted by God” (vv.3-4).

As we saw in theprevious section, we needone another because we

27


have something valuable to offer. We have spiritualinsights and wisdom thatwe have learned as we have undergone trials of all sorts. We know thevalue of the personalpresence of a loving person. When weexperience the comfort of God during a troublingsituation, we then have an ability to identify withthose people who undergosimilar situations.

While preparing to writethis booklet, I read aboutthe experiences of peoplewho have suffered greatly,and I spoke with otherswho were familiar withpain. I searched to find outwho helped them most intheir time of trouble. Theanswer again and again has been this: anotherperson who had undergonea similar experience. Thatperson can empathize more fully, and his or hercomments reflect

understanding that comesby experience. To someonewho is burdened down, itoften sounds shallow andpatronizing to hear anothersay, “I understand what you are going through,”unless that person has gonethrough a similar situation.

Even though the bestcomforters are those whohave undergone similarsituations and have grownspiritually stronger throughthem, that does not meanthat the rest of us are offthe hook. All of us have aresponsibility to do all wecan to empathize, to try to understand, to try tocomfort. Galatians 6:2 tellsus, “Bear one another’sburdens, and so fulfill thelaw of Christ.” And Romans12:15 states, “Rejoice withthose who rejoice, andweep with those whoweep.”

Dr. Paul Brand, anexpert on the disease ofleprosy, wrote:

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When suffering strikes,those of us standing closeby are flattened by theshock. We fight back thelumps in our throats,march resolutely to thehospital for visits,mumble a few cheerfulwords, perhaps look uparticles on what to say to the grieving.

But when I askpatients and theirfamilies, “Who helpedyou in your suffering?” Ihear a strange, impreciseanswer. The persondescribed rarely hassmooth answers and awinsome, effervescentpersonality. It is someonequiet, understanding, wholistens more than talks,who does not judge oreven offer much advice.“A sense of presence.”“Someone there when Ineeded him.” A hand tohold, an understanding,bewildered hug. A sharedlump in the throat

(Fearfully AndWonderfully Made,pp.203-204).It’s clear—God made us

to be dependent on oneanother. We have much tooffer those in pain, andothers have much to offer

us as we endure troubles.As we develop that unity,we will experience greatercomfort when we recognizethat God uses suffering toalert us to the problems ofsin, He uses difficulty todirect us to Him, and Hecan even use problems tomake us more like Christ.

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“In short, there isno magic cure for a person in

pain. Mainly, sucha person needslove, for love

instinctively detectswhat is needed.”

—Philip Yancey


HOW CAN WEHELP?

RRight now you may be overwhelmed bypain. The thought of

trying to help someone elsemay seem impossible. Atsome point along the way,though, as you receiveGod’s comfort, you will be ready to give comfort (2 Cor. 1). In fact, reachingout to help others may bean important part of theprocess of your ownemotional healing.

Or maybe you have readthis booklet with the hopethat you will be better ableto help a hurting friend orloved one. The suggestionsin this section are designedfor you as well.

Helping others is risky.Our help may not always be welcomed. We maysometimes say the wrongthings. But try to help wemust. Jesus’ parable of theGood Samaritan (Lk. 10:25-

37) reminds us that we are responsible to help thehurting people we encounter.Here are some suggestions:• Don’t wait for someone

else to act first.• Be physically present

with them if possible andtouch their hand or givean appropriate hug.

• Focus on their needsand not on your owndiscomfort with nothaving adequateanswers.

• Allow them to expresstheir feelings. Don’tcondemn their emotions.

• Learn about theirproblem.

• Don’t pretend that younever struggle.

• Keep your words brief.• Avoid saying, “You

shouldn’t feel that way,”or, “You know what youshould do.”

• Assure them of yourprayers.

• Pray! Ask God to helpyou and them.

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• Keep in touch.• Help them dispel false

guilt by assuring themthat suffering and sin arenot inseparable twins.

• Help them findforgiveness in Christ ifthey are suffering due tosin, or if they becomeaware of some sin asthey reflect on their lives.

• Encourage them to recallGod’s faithfulness intimes past.

• Focus on Christ’sexample and help.

• Remind them that Godloves us and cares for usand that He is in control.

• Encourage them to take

one day at a time.• Encourage them to reach

out for the help theyneed (friends, family,pastor).

• Help them to realize that coping with troublestakes time.

• Remind them of God’s shepherding love (Ps. 23).

• Remind them of God’scontrol over theuniverse, both the bigand small events of life.

• Don’t ignore theirproblem.

• Don’t be artificial intrying to “cheer themup.” Be genuine. Be thefriend you were to thembefore trouble hit.

• Show them the love youwould like other peopleto show you if you werein their situation.

• Be a good listener.• Acknowledge how much

they hurt.• Give them time to heal.

Don’t rush the process.31

“Rejoice with thosewho rejoice,

and weep withthose who weep.”

—Romans 12:15


BETTER THANANSWERS

WWe cry out forcompleteanswers. God

offers Himself instead. And that’s enough. If weknow that we can trustHim, we don’t need fullexplanations. It’s enough to know that our pain and suffering are notmeaningless. It’s enough to know that God still rulesthe universe and that Hereally does care about us asindividuals.

The greatest evidence ofGod’s concern for us can befound by looking at JesusChrist. God loved oursuffering world so muchthat He sent His Son toagonize and die for us, to free us from beingsentenced to eternal sorrow(Jn. 3:16-18). Because ofJesus, we can avoid theworst of all pain, the pain of separation from God—

forever. And because ofChrist, we can endure eventhe worst of tragedies nowbecause of the strength Heputs within us and the hopeHe sets before us.

The first step in copingrealistically with theproblem of suffering is torecognize its roots in theuniversal problem of sin.Have you recognized howmuch Jesus suffered on thecross for you to free youfrom the penalty of sin? Put your trust in Him.Receive His free gift offorgiveness. Only in Himwill you find a lastingsolution to the problem of pain in your life and inthe world.

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We cry out for complete

answers. God offers

Himself instead.


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