Why Dont You Feel Good?
Are you stressed out?
Worried? Anxious? Overwhelmed? Angry?
Is there trauma in your
Life experience? Family history? General environment?
In our shame-based society, have you had shame thrust upon you,
based on your
Physical/mental abilities/disabilities? Size/shape/looks?
Religious background or beliefs? Educational status? Socio-economic
situation? Race? Gender? Sexual preference?
You may well have a broken alert system, as so many of us do.
Our alert system, which we have in common withthe rest of the
animal kingdom, worked well in ancient history. This
fight-flight-freeze response includes high energy, rapid heart
beat, and the shut-down of the higher brain functions. It comes
when we sense a threat or opportunity, and is hard-wired into our
genetic make-up. Often, however, it is no longer helpful in our
daily challenges.
Our alert system was also not meant to be on all the time.
However, in our present society, most of us have an alert system
that malfunctions to at least some degree due to daily demands or
patterns. Often our systems are overwhelmed with trauma, shame
(which is the subtle trauma) and/or stress (daily activities,
financial, etc.). We need to learn ways to calm our alert system
and to respond to the factors that activate it. Self-soothing
through deep slow breathing, meditation/ mindfulness, physical
exercise, etc, helps.
Calming others through communication techniques such as active
listening, the use of I-statements (rather than blaming/talking
about the other person), cooperative problem-solving, etc. will
also help.
Peaceful conflict resolution and healthy communication and
cooperation, along with self-esteem and empathy building, will go a
long way towards helping us feel better. And having our lives go
better we will be happier and healthier, both as individuals and as
a society.
2014 by Victoria B. Ross, QCSW, LMSW, MSW, MALD; Peaceful
Conflict Resolution Consultant, WNY Peace Center, Interfaith Peace
Network, Peace Education Project. For more info, please contact
Vicki at (716) 884-0582; [email protected].
mailto:[email protected]
