Whistlestop Express

In this culture, we tend to keep death behind closed doors. We think of dying primarily as a medical event, but it's much more than that;

it's a matter of relationships. It's our relationship to ourselves, to those who we may be caring for, or who are caring for us, and to whatever image of ultimate kindness we hold. It often arrives when a friend or family member shares the news of their terminal illness. Or the realization may arise still earlier, when we see an elderly parent stumble on the curb or over their words. For the past 10 years, the Metta Institute’s End-of-Life Practitioner Program has provided

an unparalleled educa-tional opportunity for hundreds of health-care professionals and other caregivers who are dedicated to trans-forming care of the dying. The Institute’s core faculty, in addition to

myself, includes Marin County residents: Ra-chel Naomi Remen, MD; Charlie Garfi eld; Ram Dass; Norman Fischer; Angeles Arrien; Frances Vaughan; and Ange Stephens. In 2013, the Metta Institute will collaborate with the Spirit Rock Meditation Center in of-fering a new multi-year program entitled The Heavenly Messengers: Awakening Through Illness, Aging and Death, led by myself and James Ba-raz, Sharda Rogell, Anna Douglas, Bob Stahl and Ange Stephens. Information will be available in

mid-November at: www.spiritrock.org. Caring for people who are dying can be an intense, intimate, and deeply enlivening expe-

rience. Taken as a practice of awareness, death can be an extraordinary mirror through which we see ourselves. In the past few decades, we have made caring for the dying unnec-essarily complex.

We have come to describe this remarkably inti-mate exchange as a burden, an obligation, as a duty. We have to remember that we don't need to be someone special to be a healing presence. Each of us has the capacity to embrace another per-son's suffering. We can have complete confi dence in our kindness. The activities of caregiving are themselves quite ordinary. We make soup, we give a back rub, we change soiled sheets, give medica-tions, listen to a lifetime of stories lived and now ending. We provide a calm and loving presence. Nothing special, just simple human kindness. ✦

Editor’s note: Frank Ostaseski is Founder and Direc-tor of the Metta Institute in Sausalito, which offers training and education about mindful and compas-sionate end of life care. The institute is an outgrowth of the Zen Hospice Project, which he co-founded.

E PRESSMarin's Older Adult Community Connection Since 1954

NOVEMBER 2012 Whistlestop.org

Whistlestop

Make Holiday Cards for Homeboundpage 4

Bird's Eyes See Both Wayspage 11

We Made It!Whistlestop Met Challengepage 2

Dying is a Matter of Relationships B y F R A N K O S TA S E S K I

We don't need to be someone special to be a healing presence.

Frank Ostaseski at one of his workshops

Whistlestop Express NOVEMBER 20122

Table ofCONTENTS

Readers Write In

From Rocky's PantryRocky Packard

Whistlestop Classes, Events

Activities Calendar

The Bird's Side of MarinRichard PavekMulticultural NewsVicky Voicehowsky & Sandra Jimenez

Board ColumnBob SonnenbergGrand MomAudrey Mettel FixmerVolunteer ColumnMary Graham

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Marin Senior Coordinating Council, Inc.930 Tamalpais Avenue San Rafael, CA 94901Chief Executive Offi cer, Joe O’HehirBoard of DirectorsPresident, Dennis ThompsonVice President, Terry ScusselTreasurer, Michael RiceSecretary, Michael HingsonKaren Arnold • Liza Cozad • Eleanor DelaneyVenessa Dixon • Jane Lott • Debbie MillsLori Peterson • Bill Saul • Lenice Smith • Bob SonnenbergWhistlestop Express is a publication of the MarinSenior Coordinating Council, Inc. A 501 (c) 3not-for-profi t organization.The Mission of Whistlestop:Whistlestop believes that we share a responsibility to ensure that all Marin residents have an opportunity to age with dignity, grace and independence.Whistlestop Contact InformationMain Number 415-456-9062Whistlestop Fax 415-456-2858www.whistlestop.orgInformation & Referral Offi ce415-459-6700 • [email protected] Express Editorial, Art Direction & SalesJohn & Val Bowman Editors916-751-9189 • [email protected] Reynolds Art Directormreynolds@pacifi csun.comAdvertisingLinda Black • 415-485-6700, Ext. 306

Whistlestop Express is printed on recycled paper

To be added to, or taken off, the email list for Whistlestop Express, please call 415-456-9062. Or send an email, with your request, your name and address to [email protected].

Subscriptions mailed to your home are $10/year.

Whistlestop PERSPECTIVE by JOE O'HEHIR

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We Made It — Thanks to Community Support

We are pleased to report that thanks to an overwhelming

response from the community, Whistlestop reached the goal of raising $50,000 to match the Marin Community Founda-tion’s (MCF) challenge grant. The MCF awarded Whis-tlestop an $180,000 grant for direct support to our active aging programs and services for older adults. In order to receive the $90,000 second installment of the grant, we needed to raise $50,000 between May 1st and Septem-ber 30, 2012. We appealed to the community for support

because Whistlestop believes that we all share in the responsibility to help adults in Marin County age with independence, dignity, and grace. The response to our appeal was heartfelt. We received hundreds of donations from individuals, families and groups willing to step up and support Whistlestop’s important work. We were particularly encouraged by the number of contributions made by fi rst-time donors. On behalf of the thousands of older adults in Marin, all we can say in any language is thank you! ✦

Merci, Mahalo, Muchas Gracias, Thank You, Grantangi, Takk, Ewata, Mamnoon Dooste Man, Tan, Danke, Oshe, Obrigado, Malo, Solti, Anugurihiitosumi, Tanke, Ihe Edn, Chezzu Ba, Wado, Dhanyawaad, Kha, Mersi, I nkoma, Ipo, Tack, Fofo, Angen, Aio, Grazie, Takk, Arigato, T h a n k Yo u , N aw a r i , D z i k y n k i , Sp as i b o, Thenks, Merci, Mahalo, Muchas gracias, Hvala, Grantangi, Takk, Ewata, Mamnoon Dooste Man, Tan, Danke, Oshe, Obrigado, Malo, Solti, Anugurihiitosumi, Tanke, Thank You, Chezzu Ba, Wado, Thank You, Kha, Mersi, Inkoma, Ipo, Tack, Fofo, Angen, Aio, Grazie, Takk, Arigato, Mahad sanid, Nawari, Dzikynki, Spasibo, Thenks!Tack, Fofo, Angen, Aio, Grazie, Takk, Arigato!

whistlestop.org 3

Artwork Confronts Death

Christine Rossi be-gan exploring art at an early age, win-

ning several competitions while in high school in up-state New York. She was infl uenced by Japanese art and theater while on an ex-change program to Japan. She recently branched into photography These imag-es are a part of a continuing project of paintings, collages and photographs developed around the central theme of the Day of the Dead and the re-demption found in the confrontation of death. She began exploring images from this very spe-cial Mexican holiday after being diagnosed with a life threatening illness in 2008. The images began to come alive and develop more profoundly after a family tragedy in 2009. Christine built and displayed an altar nine feet tall and four feet wide commemorating that tragedy at an exhibit at Artworks Downtown in San Rafael. Christine, who lives in Berkeley, exhibits in gal-leries in the San Francisco Bay Area and has art-work displayed on her blog www.christinerossiart.com. Contact Christine at [email protected]. ✦

Readers Write InDear Whistlestop:

May I express my heartfelt thanks for the STAR program. It has been a tremendous help to me. I am 90. I have arthritis, osteoporosis and a tube in my bladder. I live on a slight incline. It is very diffi cult to walk up the hill. Having some-one come to the door and help me in an out of the car has been a lifesaver. Thank you for your kind thoughtfulness.

Gratefully yours,Mattalyn P., Mill Valley

Editor’s note: The Safe Transport And Reimburse-ment ("STAR") Program, formerly Volunteer Driver Program, empowers older adults and people with disabilities to remain independent by providing a mileage reimbursement for their friends, neighbors and other community members who provide them with rides. ✦

Dancing Orisha Skeletons by Christine Rossi

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From Rocky's PANTRYb y R O C K Y P A C K A R D

Sliced Orange & Fennel Salad

This is a refreshing side plate to brighten your autumn lunch or dinner.

6 each Navel oranges, peeled & sliced 1 head Fennel, thinly slice the bulb & chop tops 1/2 Cup Oil-cured black olives, pitted & chopped 2 Tbls. Extra virgin olive oil Coarse ground black pepper

Arrange the sliced oranges in concentric circles on a round platter and scatter the thinly sliced fennel over the top. Sprinkle with oiled-cured ol-ives and chopped fennel tops. Sprinkle with black pepper and drizzle with olive oil.

• • • • •Per Serving (excluding unknown items): 625 Calories; 28g Fat (37.0% calories from fat); 9g Protein; 98g Carbohydrate; 14g Dietary Fiber; 0mg Cholesterol; 8mg Sodium. Exchanges: 6 Fruit; 5 1/2 Fat. ✦

Personalized Holiday CardsNeeded for Homebound Marin Residents

W histlestop is inviting residents of Marin County to participate in a holiday project designed to warm the

hearts of homebound older adults. Whistlestop Development and Marketing Director, Yvonne Roberts, said, “We are calling for personal-ized holiday cards for homebound older adults receiving Meals on Wheels. The cards will be delivered by Meals on Wheels drivers during the month of December.” She added, “We have over 265 recipients so we want lots of cards to remind these dear members of our community that they are not forgotten just because they cannot get out of their homes.” Please send your personalized, signed cards in unsealed envelopes to Whistlestop's front desk a.s.a.p and before Dec. 19. ✦

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whistlestop.org 5continued on page 6

Avoiding family discussion of end of life is-sues only delays discomfort and anxiety.And, as unpleasant as it may seem now,

such conversations can avoid confusion, confl ict and sibling squabbling later. That’s the opinion of Margaret MacKenzie-Hooson, 72, of Inverness Park in West Marin, a medical anthropologist and RN, and a longtime advocate of preparing for the inevitable while we are still healthy enough and alert enough to do so. “Having a discussion with your children now can actually avoid a lot of suffering later,” she said. She also advocates having something in writing, such as a “Do Not Resuscitate” (DNR) document, if that’s what you want in the event of a stroke or other disabling occurrence.

“The DNR should be integrated right into the person’s hospital chart,” Margaret said, “Not just sitting on the nightstand.” Margaret, known to many as Cariadne from her radio broadcast days in San Francisco, taught for 45 years at the Fromm Institute for Lifelong Learning at the University of San Francisco. Much of what she taught before retiring last year had to do with end of life issues and how to cope with the death of a loved one. “When aging parents take the time to discuss these things with their children and get it in writ-ing, it can avoid drastic intervention and outra-geous expense that can leave everyone in debt.” Margaret is a New Zealander who came to the United States in 1969 to study at University of Chicago. Even though she has retired from teach-ing, she still is an active researcher. She recently returned from a conference in Naples, Italy, where AlmaVia of San Rafael, an Elder Care Alliance community is cosponsored by the Sisters of

Mercy of the Americas West Midwest Community & the Sierra Pacific Synod of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America. RCFE Lic # 216801868.

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End of Life Issues: A Family Discussion You Should Not AvoidB y J O H N B O W M A N

Artist Christine Rossi’s Day of the Dead painting, “Cassandra Dreams.”

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she presented a paper on dying. She said that physicians really appreciate it when a dying person has made appropriate end of life arrangements with his or her children or friends. “Physicians are frightened by the deci-sions that have to be made at the time of death when there is nothing to guide them. Of course, it is frightening for children also when they are faced with these decisions.” She said most doctors are extremely helpful because they want to ensure that death is handled the way the dying person wanted it to be handled. So, the fi rst step is for the family to talk about these issues and to get in writing the wishes of the parents. The second step is to make sure whatever is written down is kept in a place where it can be referenced when the end of life is imminent. ✦

continued from page 5

My experiences at Whistlestop have far exceeded my expectations. I started at Whistlestop as a volunteer in Novem-

ber of 2008. I lost my brother in a tragic ac-cident and was fi nding it diffi cult to just go on with life. I needed something to fi ll my time so my mind didn’t wander. That’s when I went to Whistlestop and signed on as a tax season greeter. Once tax season was over, I asked if I could volunteer as a server in the Jackson Café. I immediately fell in love with the job. The friendships that I have made at Whistlestop have enriched my life immeasur-ably. In April of 2012, an opportunity came along to be a part-time employee as Café Coordinator at the Jackson Café. My responsibilities as coor-dinator have given me confi dence I didn’t have before, and for that, I am truly grateful. ✦

Marian Yamate with Scott

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Give the Gift of Health…Therapeutic Yoga For

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Blue Door Seminar Schedule

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DECEMBER 12 2pm - 4:30pmPOST ELECTION: YOUR TAX DECISIONS, THE STATE OF THE LAW AS IT AFFECTS YOU

NOVEMBER 8 2pm - 4:30pmCARING FOR YOU & HELPING YOU FIND YOUR RETIREMENT HOMENOVEMBER 14 2pm - 4:30pmADVOCATING YOUR HEALTHCARE: LEGAL & PRACTICAL ALTERNATIVES FOR YOU & YOUR AGENT

whistlestop.org 7

Keep Learning at WHISTLESTOP

WhistlestopAWARD

For a complete list of classes, visit whistlestop.org

WHISTLESTOP HOLIDAY BOUTIQUE Fee: $5 | Space limitedInformation: Call Sandra or Vicky, 456-9062Whistlestop is looking for crafty clients who would like to sell some handmade goodies (jewelry, knitted or sewn items, cards, baked goods, etc) during our holiday boutique in December.

DO YOU SPEAK FRENCH?Information: Call Vicky, 457-0586 Whistlestop will be starting a French Social group on Tuesday afternoons, and French speakers are invited to attend.

ADVANCED ENGLISH CONVERSATION Wednesdays • 1-2pm Free | To Register: Call Vicky, 457-0586This class is for non-native English speakers who desire to improve their language skills. The class will focus on advanced levels of listening and conversation skills, English slang and humor, as well as common idioms.

NEW! BEADING CLASS Thursday, November 15 • 1:30-2:45pmFee: $5 per class (Includes materials)Payment required before classRegistration required: 457-0586Maximum space available: 10-12 peopleMaria Barsesat, local bead artist, will show you how to make beautiful, simple and easy jewelry items for yourself or as gifts.

Whistlestop has received the Open Arms Award for extraordinary caring toward Lighthouse clients. Barry Benda, Vice President and Chief Operating Offi cer of Lighthouse, presents the award to Lori Peterson, Whistlestop Board member, and Joe O'Hehir, Whistlestop CEO.

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Keep Learning at WHISTLESTOP

DROP-IN COMPUTER LAB Mondays & Wednesdays •10-NoonNeed help using a computer? We have volunteer computer tutors available to work with you one-on-one, if needed.

COMPUTER/PICTURE CLASSBeginning: 1st Friday • 2-4pmAdvanced: 2nd Friday • 2-4pmFee: $15 | Instructor: Gene DyerRegistration required: 459-6700. Call for more information and class descriptions.

FREE BLOOD PRESSURE CLINIC & MEDICATION CHECKSTuesday, November 13 • 11:30am-1pmFacilitators: student nurses from Dominican University | Drop-inBring all of your medications and supplements to fi nd out how & when to take them, how to store them, possible side effects, or interactions with other drugs. Don’t miss this opportunity to prevent health problems by keeping your blood pressure and meds in check!

VOLUNTEER OPPORTUNITIESContact: Debbie at 456-9062 or [email protected]• Board/Card Game Leaders • Chiropractor

• Russian Social Group Leader• Bi-lingual Computer Teacher

Jackson Café Volunteers needed to work at least one day a week from 10:30am to 1:45pm. Jackson Café serves delicious and affordable lunchtime meals, Monday through Friday, to diners of all ages.

Center Service volunteer needed to answer phones and do various offi ce duties. Computer experience a plus, but not required. Volunteers are needed from 11am to 1pm, with some fl exibility.

Tax Preparer volunteers needed to help older adults and low income families with their Federal and State Income Tax returns. To assist requires use of a Computer-based Tax Wise Software (provided by IRS). Volunteers will complete a training course in December - January and become IRS certifi ed to prepare taxes. Tax season is February to April, 2013.

Brown Bag Pantry: We are launching our weekly food, farmer's-market style, pantry for older adults, and we need volunteers to help us on Friday mornings.

Volunteer Drivers for Meals on Wheels Program Contact Raphael Krantz at 454-0969.

IN-KIND DONATIONS NEEDEDMah Jongg sets, Chess set, Dominos, books, yarn, movies on DVD and exercise mats.If you have items to donate, please call Debbie at 456-9062.

ZUMBA GOLDThursdays • 11am-NoonFee: $6 each time | Instructor: Angela Jakab-MillerZumba is a great way to stay fi t and active. Fun, motivating combination of Latin-inspired music and dance steps guaranteed to get you moving. Zumba movements are easy-to-follow and for all activity levels. Bring water and a small towel.

MAH JONGG – NEW PLAYERS NEEDED!Tuesdays • 10 am-NoonInstructor: Shirley Etemadfar |Drop-inAmerican Mah Jongg is a game that originally came from China. If you’ve played gin rummy, you have a head start in learning how to play this game. Play with tiles that

Marin County Commission on Aging

Thursday, Nov. 8 • 10am-12:30 pmWhere:Tiburon Town Hall, 1505 Tiburon Blvd.

Topic: HICAP Medicare Changes for 2013Speakers: Julie Bennett,

Community Outrech Specialist, HICAP

For a complete list of classes, visit whistlestop.org

????Computers Made Easy

Having Trouble Figuring Out Your Computer

Contact Debbie for Help: (415) [email protected] | www.made-easy.net

Personalized, one-on-one tutoring. Mac and PC. I’ll come to you.Email Word Processing Internet Smartphones Social Networking…and More!

whistlestop.org 9

an illness. The program is a partnership between Episcopal Senior Communities, Novato Independent Elders Program, and San Rafael Safeway. For eligibility or if you would like to volunteer, contact Debbie Benedetti at 456-9062, x124.

WHISTLESTOP IS NOW OFFERING PING PONGFridays, November 2 &16 • 2-4pm Drop in to simply watch or play.Have fun and get your heart pumping with Ping Pong! Ping Pong, also known as table tennis, has many benefi ts for those who play. It is great for working up a sweat and getting your heart rate up. It’s gentle on your body and anyone can play. The game features light balls and paddles, all provided by Whistlestop. It’s easy to learn and playing is free to all players. Comfortable clothing and tennis shoes are recommended.

THANKSGIVING DAY LUNCHEONThursday, November 22 • Noon-1:30pmFee: $10 for older adults and $15 for anyone under 60 years old. | This event is open to the public. Reservations Required: call 456-9062 Please join us for Whistlestop’s Annual Thanksgiving Day Luncheon! Enjoy a Thanksgiving Day Feast with all the trimmings, sponsored by the Mission San Rafael Rotary Club.

are stamped with symbols and characters. Mix up the tiles, stack them into “walls” and get 13 to start a hand. After much passing, picking and discarding, the fi rst person to assemble combinations of these tiles into specifi c patterns wins the game. We play with a card that shows all the possible hands you can make. We’ll have Mah Jongg sets available for you to use as you learn. It’s a sociable, competitive, exciting and addictive game that’s truly lots of fun! Beginners and experienced players are welcome.

ANDREW CLYDE IS COMING Thursday, November 15 • Noon-1pm Andrew Clyde will be at the Jackson Café to celebrate Veterans Day with music from the 20’s, 30’s, and 40’s. Regular lunch menu. Entertainment provided by Bread & Roses

THE MARIN MEDICAL RESERVE CORPS WILL BE AT WHISTLESTOPFriday, November 16 • 10am-2pm They will check peoples’ blood pressure. In addition to blood pressure checks, MMRC pharmacists will be on hand to review your prescriptions for any interactions. They will accept any unwanted medicines you wish to

dispose of. The MMRC is a local vol-unteer organization of medical and mental health professionals who live in Marin.

NOVEMBER IS DIABETES MONTH (Date to be determined)To register, call 456-9062“Diabetes 101” will be presented by Mindy Schwartz, Diabetes Clinical Nurse Specialist with Marin General Hospital. Topics will include risks factors, signs of high blood sugar, meal planning, exercise and life style choices. She will be joined by Dina Griffi th, Tori Murray, and Ruth Vosmek.

Whistlestop introduces a new serviceTHE WHISTLESTOP HOME-DELIVERED GROCERY PROGRAMThis program is available for homebound San Rafael older adults (60+) who need shopping assistance. Delivery is free. Older adults pay only for the groceries. Participants can use the program on a weekly, monthly, or shorter basis, i.e. while recovering from

Marin Access Call Center: 454-0902Get Qualifi ed to Ride: 456-9062, [email protected] a Ride: 457-4630STAR Volunteer Driving: 454-0969

Transportation Numbers


Whistlestop Weekly ACTIVITIES This Month at Whistlestop TIME CLASS INFO COST

9–2 PM Relax Chair Massage Open $4/8min. 9:30–10:30 AM Exercise Lamas Qi Gong Open $3/class 10–11 AM Language AM Monday 457-0586 Free 10–NOON Learn Computer Lab Open Free 11–12:30 PM Language German Social Group Open Free 11–NOON Exercise Movement & Music-9/1 456-9062 Free 2–4 PM Language English as a 456-9062 Free Second Language (ESL) 4–5:30 PM Language Citizenship Class 454-0998 $25

9:15–10:15 AM Exercise Whistlesizers Open $2 10:00–NOON Relax Mah Jongg Open Free 10:45–11:45 AM Exercise Cardio Exercise Class Open Free Noon–3 PM Relax Manicurist Appt. Needed Free 1–3 PM Language Learn Spanish Open Free 2–3:30 PM Language English Conversation 454-0998 Free

9:15–10:15 AM Exercise Whistlesizers Open $2 10–NOON Relax Knit!!! 457-0586 Free 11–NOON Exercise Zumba Open $2 2–3:30 PM Language English Conversation 454-0998 $6 2–4 PM Learn Rembrance Writing Open $5 2:30–3:30 PM Exercise Balance Class Sugg. Donation $10 3–4 PM Language Basic English for 457-0586 Free Spanish Speakers

9–10:15 AM Exercise Tai Chi Qigong Sugg. Donation $10 or less 9–2 PM Relax Chair Massage Open $4/8min. 10–11:30 AM Support Seniors' Circle Open Free 10–2 PM Learn Computer Lab Open Free 10:30–11:45 AM Support Corazón Latino Open Free 1–2 PM Language Adv. English Conver. 457-0586 Free 2–4 PM Language (ESL) 456-9062 Free 3–4 PM Language Basic English for 457-0586 Free Spanish Speakers

1:30–3:30 PM Relax Friday Flicks 456-9062 Free 1:30–3:30 PM Support ACASA Peer Counseling Free 1:30–3:30 PM Language Practice Spanish Open Free 2–4 PM Learn Arts & Crafts w/Vicky Nov. 9 & 30 $3 2–4 PM Exercise Ping Pong Nov. 2 & 16 Free

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The Caboose, Computer Lab, Board Room and Jackson Café are all located at Whistlestop’s Active Aging Center – 930 Tamalpais Ave., San Rafael.For a complete list of all classes, visit whistlestop.org

LUNCH MENU60+ PRICES/ UNDER 60 PRICES

Main Entrée$4.50/$7.25 (+$1 for Seafood Entrées)

Sandwiches$4.25/$6.25

Soup du Jour$1.75/$2.25

Hamburger w/Fries$4.25/$5.25

Salads$2.50/$4.00

OTHER ITEMSTuna Salad Side $1.25Fresh Fruit $1.50Beverages $1.00Desserts $2.00

Monday-Friday 11:00am-1:30pmLocated in Whistlestop Active Aging Center

Jackson Café

whistlestop.org 11

The Bird's Side OF MARIN b y R I C H A R D P A V E K

PHOT

OS ©

RIC

HARD

PAV

EK

All Seeing Eyes

Human eyes point for-ward, but bird’s eyes angle outward from the

sides of their heads, so birds see like a pilot looking out both sides of the cockpit at once.

The bird’s brain integrates both views into a fi eld of vision of approximately 300 degrees instead of the 160 degrees of human vision. This helps avoid collisions while fl ying, identi-fi es predators coming from many directions, and locates food more easily. Their eyes are angled so the two views overlap slightly; this lets them focus precisely when foraging. I noticed birds that appeared unthreatened

by me would fl y away when I raised my cam-era. For a long time I thought that raising my camera with its long lens mimicked a hunter raising a gun. Then one day while looking at a falcon’s large black eye, I realized how much it looked like the lens on my camera! My large lens looked like a huge eye to the birds! Just imagine how you would feel if you suddenly saw a huge eye watching you! Every weekend I email a special bird photo to Express readers. If you’d like something nice amidst the junk in your inbox, just ask me at [email protected]. ✦

‘Til next month, Richard

Main photo: This Great Blue Heron appeared to be nonchalantly looking ahead but he actually was watching my eyes looking at him. When I glanced away, he was off in a fl ash. Inset: The Great Egret’s angled eyes are focused on the tiny minnow in its beak.


(little angels), and the second is for our adults. This holiday is mainly celebrated in the small towns around the big cit-ies. The altar is put together a day in advance. We take a table and adorn it with ‘papel picado,’ marigolds, sugar skulls, candles, pictures, and foods that our loved ones

loved to eat. The family gathers together and prays, and then on to the cemetery where a big Mass is held. My family and I don’t celebrate this holiday here, but we go to church and pray in the memory of those who left us. It is a very special holiday for us.” For those who would like to join us in the celebration, Whistlestop will display a traditional altar October 29 to November 2 in the Lounge area of the center to honor our ancestors. ✦

Multicultural NEWSby VICKY VOICEHOWSKY and SANDRA JIMENEZ

Our ancestors are signifi cant. They gave us life, they shaped our pasts and gave way to our future, they belong to our fondest

memories, they taught us how to be. Throughout Latin America, the Day of the Dead, also known as Dia de los Muertos, is celebrated on the fi rst and second of November to honor our ancestors. This world-famous holiday dates back 4,000 years with the Meso-American civilizations. Al-though from Argentina to Mexico the celebrations vary in style, they share a common thread — the belief in the afterlife. That is, when we die, we don’t cease to exist, but our souls continue on to the afterworld. This celebration of death is simply a celebration of life. Francis Lara, one of our regular Corazon La-tino participants and a native from Mexico City, tells us that this holiday is all about celebrat-ing our loved ones who are no longer with us. She relates, “November fi rst is for our ‘angelitos’

Crossing of BoundariesWith Natural Deathing

Family participation and transformation can lead to a more natural death. This is the experience of Patricia Murray, of Fairfax,

who had an article published in the September/October Macrobiotics Today magazine about an experience of helping a woman named Karen die a natural death. This is an excerpt from the article. “On the morning of Karen’s arrival, my secret hope that she could regain her health had to be laid to rest. At the same time, there was still my stubborn wish to have her accept some sips of soup or vegetable water. She tried to swallow but could only tolerate the moistening of her mouth with water. “Karen was already well into the lightening phase of the physical body’s preparation to release its spirit. In this phase, which can happen about two or three weeks before a natural death, there is no ability to digest food. In my opinion among the many injurious modern misunderstanding of

continued on page 14

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It was January 2004 when I suddenly began losing my eyesight. I was driving to Sacramento for a conference and I couldn’t

see the freeway signs. I had to make a quick decision: call my wife or drive on. I didn’t know how serious this was, so I decided to drive into Sacramento and attend the day-long confer-ence. After the conference, still with limited vision, I drove back to San Francisco where I was to meet my wife. Thank goodness for those bumps in the lane dividers on the freeway. I was familiar enough with the road that I could fi nd my way safely. That was the last day I drove. I went to the doctor the next day and learned that my vision loss was the result of myopic de-generation (similar to macular degeneration).

I had no warning before – no such epi-sode. After that we just fi gured out what to do, received treat-ment and started to engage in life again.I have a lovely wife, Cindy, to whom I have been married for 31 years, and we have two sons, Rob

and Tim. I feel blessed. I can’t drive anymore, but otherwise, life is normal for me. I had been in the insurance and invest-ment business prior to that, but for the past six years I have worked in development for Guide School for the Blind in San Rafael. It is very rewarding work. I travel all over the country, always with Niño, my black lab guide dog. Niño has changed my life, my family, and opened a whole network of new doors like Whistlestop. I think Whistlestop captures for the local community what Guide Dogs does for people like me, on a different platform. I was drawn to the Board because I appreciated the invalu-able job Whistlestop does – providing trans-portation, both delivered and on-site meals,

Whistlestop captures for the local community what Guide Dogs does for people like me.

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Join the Host Committee of Valentine’s Ball

Whistlestop is seeking members of the community, to join the Host Com-mittee of the 2013 Marin Valentine’s

Ball—the premier gala in Marin. Theme for the event is “An Evening in Old New Orleans.” If you are interested in joining the committee, please contact Yvonne Roberts at the Whis-tlestop, 456-9062 or [email protected]. The black tie optional gala will be held on Saturday, Feb. 9, 2013, at the elegant trans-formation of the Marin Civic Center Exhibi-tion Hall. The event annually sells out, so you can assure your attendance by joining the Host Committee! ✦


Grand MOMby AUDREY METTEL FIXMER

Six Tips for a Happy Ending

Are you checking out the obituaries every day like Mark Twain did to see if you are on the list? Or do you just average the ages

to hopefully fi nd some of the deceased are older than you? Either way, it’s a sure sign that you’re aware that you aren’t getting any younger. You are nearing the fi nish line. Ouch! It’s not too late to plan for a happy ending to your life story. As a writer, I love happy endings and have been planning mine for a long time. I would like to share my “Happy Ending Tips” with you:1. This Christmas wrap up a few of your little treasures and “gift” them to the kids. It will unload some of the clutter and eliminate the problem of the rascals whining later, “Mom promised it to me!”2. If you’re like me you don’t want to be kept alive by machines or “extraordinary means.” Be sure to update your health care directives. It’s a fi nal gift to give your loved ones. Lord knows they have enough to worry about.

3. Select your funeral director for a pay-in-advance insurance at today’s prices. He will help you work out the details of the kind of service you want, the visitation, church, lunch . . . everything but the date. (We have to leave something for God.)4. By now you have probably given up most of your vanity, what with the mess Mother Nature has made of our skin, hair, and bodies. Keep up with the latest styles anyway so your kids have something smashing to hand over to the undertaker. And make sure your hairstylist is on board too.5. Keep reminding God how much you appreci-ate the long life He has given you, and thank Him for His blessings. It’s been a sometimes-bumpy fl ight, but cozy up to the Pilot. He’s still at the controls.6. With all those funerals you’ve been to, just remember to keep going out and making some new, younger friends. Otherwise there won’t be anyone left to go to yours and eat that funeral lunch you planned.

When people start telling me how nice it will be to see my husband again, I will know the end is near. And I will think yes, but will it be mutual? Or will he think, “Oh, here comes my director. She’s going to try to make heaven more heavenly.” ✦

dying is that nourishment should be introduced into the body’s blood by intravenous feeding until death. I believe this practice prevents the purifi ca-tion and lightening of the body. During the follow-ing three days, nature took its course. “By the fourth day, she was drifting in and out of consciousness, very present when awake, and the best portent of all for a peaceful, easy death, free of pain or discomfort. “On the fi fth day, Karen became restless. After soothing her, I prepared a more spacious room and cleared it of all objects except for some chairs. I placed the single bed in the middle of the room and prepared it to receive her. “Uncle Pete helped to move her while I re-freshed and clothed her in a fresh gown. She asked us if she looked beautiful and asked me to comb her hair. We both exchanged words of loving connection with her, and she drifted into that special sleep where the motion of this

biological life is barely visible. “I moved through the house towards her and saw a radiant Karen smiling at me. ‘She asked me to hold her, but as I reached towards her she was gone.’ I said, ‘She went easy. May her soul rest in peace.’ Pete and I straightened her body and moved her to the prepared room. We brought in the wild grasses and plant oil, anointed her hands and feet, and then lighted a candle at her head.” “Our lives can be enlightened by such deaths. Our culture may come to celebrate this unique transformation from one state to another. ✦

Patricia visits Whistlestop twice a week, where she has lunch in the Jackson Café and attends the Spanish class. She is known for her work as a nutritionist and macrobiotic counselor for the past 40 years. She is retired and is happy to share information on this subject. Contact her at [email protected] or 454-5280.

continued from page 12

whistlestop.org 15

When Multicultural Outreach Coordi-nator Vicky Voicehowsky asked: “Do you want to be a tutor?” in Whis-

tlestop Express, I jumped at the chance. Being a veteran Chicago journalist, recently relocated to Marin — who also happened to hold a secondary teaching certifi cation— I saw this as a golden opportunity to get to know my new community.

Without a clue as to how English as a Second Language might be taught, I decided to wing it. After all, I’d learned Ger-man when living there in the 1960s, and man-aged French along the

way gleaned from school courses, plus a cookbook or two. Why should Spanish stand in my way? Armed with a second-hand volume of La-rousse English-Spanish Student Diction-ary, bright yellow legal pad and black magic marker, I set out to conquer the language

barrier — teach my students in requisite English, and possibly gain some latent and tardy Spanish for myself. Enter Chochoy Rivero, my fi rst student. We began with the basics, questions on citizen-ship papers, talking very slowly, repeating often to ensure proper pronunciation, then carefully writing our words on the community legal pad with its long thick black line down the center, “English” on one side, “Español” on the other. Chochoy constantly questioned, Como se dice? Or, how do you say? We’d repeat and repeat. Through our verbal volleys, followed by more frequent “high fi ves,” friendship devel-oped. We were both born in 1938, Chochoy in Venezuela, and I in Chicago. When Chochoy’s friend, Dora Sanchez, 57, originally of El Sal-vador, joined, another relationship ensued and my fears of learning Spanish faded. So I brought in the connection, or conexión, of words in the two languages, and related how Italian, French and Spanish have the same root or raiz. A story — how William the Conqueror of Normandy defeated King Harold II at the Battle of Hastings in 1066, thereby introduc-ing many Latin words into the English lan-guage, helped. Pronunciation/pronunciación; language/lenguaje; example/ejemplo. English no longer seemed an onus for Cho-choy and Dora. As Chochoy aptly put it, “Eng-lish is fun, esta divertido.” Spanish is, too!✦

Como se Dice? The Tutor Also LearnsB y M A R Y G R A H A M , w w w . S h o p F r e s h P o e t r y . c o m

Dora Sanchez, left, shows Mary San Salvador on the map.

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A new taxi service for older adults, Marin Catch-A-Ride, began on Sept. 24. Call 473-2943 or 457-INFO (4636) for more

information about the program and to apply for eligibility. The new customized transpor-tation option will enable residents, age 80 and older, to take taxi rides at a discounted rate. For residents age 60 and older, the discount-ed service is available if they are unable to drive.

Marin Catch-A-Ride is a program of Marin Transit’s Marin Access family of transporta-tion services and is funded by Marin’s voter

approved vehicle registration fee, Measure B. For information about transportation options in Marin,

contact Marin Access 415-456-0902 or see us on the web at www.marinaccess.org or www.marintransit.org. ✦


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