Optimal Parenting

What Works for Raising Successful People

WEBINAR PRESENTERSKnox Psychologists• Mr. David Schofield • Ms. Melinda Price• Dr Rebecca Lazarus • Dr Laura-Kate Dassos

Optimal ParentingWhat type of parenting works best for the best outcomes for our children?

Research: best outcomes (socially, emotionally and academically) from parenting that combines

High expectations and demandsin the context of

a warm, respectful, open, supportive relationship

Optimal Parenting• The foundation: Warmth & Support• Promoting Autonomy• Self-Motivation• Promoting Positive Behaviours• Rewards & Incentives• Discipline & Punishment• Appropriate Consequences• Managing Screen Time• Looking after self• Q & A

QUESTION AND ANSWER

To submit a question, visitktcshort.link/optimalwebinarqanda

Year 7 - Mr Justin ZhuYear 8 - Dr Laura-Kate DassosYear 9 - Ms Katelyn TaskerYear 10 & WPS - Mr Luke SpencerYear 11 - Mr David SchofieldYear 12 - Ms Melinda Price

To make an appointment, contact:psychologistsreception@knox.nsw.edu.au

Knox Psychologists

Kindergarten to Year 3- Mrs Frieda Stemp- Mrs Hayley Wilton

Year 4 to 6- Dr Rebecca Lazarus

Foundations of Optimal Parenting

• Making sure that your child’s basic needs are met

• Spending time together

• Listening with full attention

Healthy Parent-Child Connection

DR LAURA-KATE DASSOS:

Healthy Parent-Child ConnectionWarm, supportive relationship• Plenty of affection • Respond with empathy• Separate the behaviour from the

child• Behaviour = communication

MS MELINDA PRICE:

Preventative StrategiesEncouraging Autonomy• Promote independence• Encourage problem

solving• Experience failure• Make mistakes• Experience difficult

feelings

DR REBECCA LAZARUS:

Preventative Strategies (cont.)Encouraging Autonomy - How?1. Offer choices2. Avoid asking questions3. Avoid rushing in to answer4. Use sources outside

parenting unit

“How can I help my child to get motivated?”

• Breaking work into small

‘chunks’

• Plan and encourage rewards

• Study space

Question sent in: How to Promote

Independent/Self-motivated Learning?

Problem: Study can be unattractive:1. “Study is hard &/or uninteresting”2. “We fight about my effort and results too much”

How can we help?

Making Study Attractive

1. Link study with desired career goals, or

2. Stop the conflict around study

3. Link study with incentives

A MOTIVATING DEAL“I'm sorry that our conflict about your school work has come between us. It has been frustrating for both of us: I so want you to do well, and you so want me to stop pushing you.

I want to resign from being the ‘director’ of your academic efforts and give it over to you to manage from here on. I so want the best for you and academic effort matters so much to me. I am hoping you can help me?

Perhaps we can do a deal? Perhaps we can stop fighting and help each other? If you increase your efforts and results by 20% then perhaps I could do something for you - something that really matters to you? What do you think?”

REWARDS AND INCENTIVES• Positive reinforcement tools

• Used for encouraging behaviour

• Must be developmentally appropriate and

motivating

Discipline Strategies• Realistic expectations – of your

child and yourself • Promote desirable behaviour

– Descriptive praise– Strategic attention– Rewards and incentives

• Be consistent

Alternatives to PunishmentPUNISHMENT vs DISCIPLINE:

Punishment:“the imposition of an undesirable or unpleasant outcome from a person of authority” Effectiveness = short term

Discipline:“teaching people to behave and follow rules and encourage appropriate behaviour” Effectiveness = long term

A note on punishment

• Punishing, including smacking leads to negative outcomes for the child

• No evidence of any benefits from physical punishment

Discipline StrategiesConsequences:

• Natural • Man-made

– Applied for a short period of time– Involve children – Planned vs reactive

Remember Consistency

Screentime• Categorise – education, social, pleasure• Negotiate set limits • Short bursts, regular breaks • Switch off and disconnect:

– Reminders– Logical timings

A Final Note…• Importance of:

– Self-care – Self-compassion

QUESTION AND ANSWER

To submit a question, visitktcshort.link/optimalwebinarqanda

Year 7 - Mr Justin ZhuYear 8 - Dr Laura-Kate DassosYear 9 - Ms Katelyn TaskerYear 10 & WPS - Mr Luke SpencerYear 11 - Mr David SchofieldYear 12 - Ms Melinda Price

To make an appointment, contact:psychologistsreception@knox.nsw.edu.au

Knox Psychologists

Kindergarten to Year 3- Mrs Frieda Stemp- Mrs Hayley Wilton

Year 4 to 6- Dr Rebecca Lazarus

For more informationFurther information: o Parenting video series

- Helping our families survive and thrive- Managing conflict at home- Staying connected with friends- Supporting your son- Wellbeing resources- Understanding and managing guilt- Motivating your child- Normalizing reactions and COVID-19- Maintaining a balance

Prephttps://vimeo.com/showcase/6953272Password: WellbeingPrep

Seniorhttps://vimeo.com/showcase/6953270Password: WellbeingSenior

For more informationo One-on-one counselling/consults:

- Knox Wellbeing Centre - psychologistsreception@knox.nsw.edu.au – 02 9119 0828- Knox Careers Psychologist - Linda Gomez - gomezl@knox.nsw.edu.au

o External resources - Parent works - https://parentworks.org.au/#/- Tuning into Teens - https://headspace.org.au/headspace-centres/melton/want-to-know-more-

about-the-tuning-into-teens-program/- COVID19 – We’ve got this covered! Centre for Emotional Health, Macquarie University -

https://www.mq.edu.au/research/research-centres-groups-and-facilities/healthy-people/centres/centre-for-emotional-health-ceh/covid-19-weve-got-this-covered!/information-for-parents-and-carers

THANK YOU