What to do with your teen this summer

Handout

Presented By: Jennifer Alfonso, MBA, MSW, LCSW-C

Sponsored by NIH Child Care Board & ORS/Division of Amenities and Transportation Services.

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What to do with your teen this summer

Presented by:Jennifer Alfonso, MBA, MSW, LCSW-C

Issues to cover:• Why is planning ahead for summer important for

your teen? • What are your concerns? • What summer opportunities exist for your teen?• What are the guidelines and minimum age for

obtaining a work permit?• How can your teen gain SSL hours?• What resources exist for you and your teen?

Group Brainstorm

• Why is planning ahead for summer activities important for your teens?

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• “Mom, I’m Bored” (2 weeks into summer!)• Teen safety at home alone and with peers• Doing something constructive to prepare

for the next school year or college• Connecting with your teen while they are

still under your roof• Readiness to take on a summer job or

higher level of responsibility

“The parent-adolescent relationship is like a partnership in which the senior partner (parent) has more expertise in many areas but looks forward to the day when the junior partner (adolescent) will take over the business of running his or her own life.”

-Laurence Steinberg, You and Your Adolescent

Partnership

Opportunities for Teens over the Summer

• Volunteering – Experience the joy of giving to others– Earn volunteer hours for graduation or college apps.

• A summer job– Develop interviewing skills (if nothing else!)– Earn $$$ and learn new skills– Increase self-confidence & ability to work with others

• Summer classes– Retake a high school course– Take college level courses ahead of time– Take SAT or ACT prep courses

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Volunteering• Examples:

– Volunteer to read to children at the library.– Help National Park Service maintain hiking trails in your area.– Work at a food bank– Join a charity fundraising community

• Resources:– Websites (school sites, county sites, community sites)

• www.1-800-volunteer.org, • www.montgomerycountymd.gov/volunteer

– School Counselor• Student Service Learning:

– Check with your teen’s school to see if volunteer opportunities fall within the guidelines

– Pay attention to deadlines for submitting documentation and forms

Student Service Learning• Check with your local school district regarding

their student service learning guidelines.

• Example: Montgomery County, MD– “MCPS believes that service learning addresses

recognized community needs and is connected to curriculum goals. …” (www.mcpsssl.org)

– Seniors with more than 260 Student Service Learning Hours earn the Certificate of Meritorious Serviceand are adorned with a purple service tassel during graduation.

SSL, continued• Students may begin to earn SSL hours the summer after

completing Grade 5. They continue to accrue hours through middle and high school.

• Class of 2011 MCPS students will need to complete 75 service-learning hours for graduation.

• Students who enter MCPS for the first time in– Grade 6 will complete → 75 hours for graduation – Grade 7 will complete → 65 hours for graduation – Grade 8 will complete → 55 hours for graduation– Grade 9 will complete → 45 hours for graduation– Grade 10 will complete → 35 hours for graduation– Grade 11 will complete → 20 hours for graduation– Grade 12 will complete → 10 hours for graduation

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Summer jobs• Brainstorm with your teen ideas for summer jobs:

– What are your teen’s interests?– What jobs would give them good work experience for a career field they

are interested in?– How many hours a week can they handle? Full time? Part time?

• Help your teen create a resume • Have your teen enroll in a CPR or first-aid course to help

your child’s resume stand out.• Your teen can take a free computer lesson online at

microsoft.com (e.g., Power Point or Excel)• Practice interview skills with your teen, use role play.• Teach your child how to network and make connections.• Teach your child about finances, balancing a check

book, setting money from paycheck aside for savings.

Summer jobs• Examples:

– Lifeguard– Camp counselor– Restaurant server– Babysitting– Dog walker

• Resources:– Job boards– Websites– Family or friend connections

Work Permits

Maryland:• Teens (minors between the ages of 14 and 17) are

required to have a Minor Work Permit before they begin work

• Teens cannot apply for a Work Permit until they have gotten a job offer. This is because the application for a Work Permit requires details from the employer, including the proposed occupation and work description.

• For forms and more information:http://dllr.state.md.us/labor/wages/empm.shtml

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Work PermitsVirginia:• Every teenager (14 or 15 years of public age) must have

an employment certificate (work permit) to work at a job• Exceptions (permit not required):

– Farms, gardens, orchards operated by parent or guardian; Non manufacturing job where parent owns the business

– Work around the home for parents; occasional work around someone else’s house, such as yard work

– Page/clerk for House or Senate of Virginia; work performed for state or local government

– Volunteer work• Forms can be obtained at a Virginia school or online.

More information: http://www.doli.virginia.gov/laborlaw/laborlaw_childworkpermits1.html

Work Permits

Washington, DC:• Teens (14 to 17 years) must have a work permit to work

at a job; minors ages 14 and 15 need written parental consent to the employment

• Forms can be obtained at a DCPS school or online. More info: http://dcps.dc.gov/DCPS/About+DCPS/Strategic+Documents/DCPS+Policies

• Special permits:– Theatrical (apply at Theatre company)

Teen Safety• Do not assume that your child is aware of their rights or

that employers are aware of child labor laws for young workers

• Resource for Young Workers by US Department of Labor http://www.osha.gov/SLTC/teenworkers/index.html(last updated 6/10/2010)

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What Role Can NIH Play in Your Teen’s Summer?

• Volunteering at Clinical Support Services– Must be 16 years of age– Applications should be submitted in April– www.cc.nih.gov/volunteers/opportunities.html

• Summer Internship Program in Biomedical Research (SIP):– Must be 16 years of age– Applications available online until March 1– http://www.training.nih.gov/programs/sip

• Student Jobs:– http://www.usajobs.gov/studentjobs

Summer Camps for Teens• General camps

– Day camp or overnight camp– Field trips to amusement/water parks, movies,

camping, etc.

• Specialty camps– E.g., Technology camps or Fitness camps

• Sports camps– Polish skills before the next school year– Especially for students hoping for college

scholarships

• Counselor-in-Training programs

You can request a copy at http://does.ors.od.nih.gov/childcare/

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Tips for College-bound teens

• Take college level classes• Participate in academic or extracurricular

programs that span a month or longer• Travel abroad (if the budget permits)• Get a summer job or internship• Join a community service organization

College-bound teens

• Continue training in a favorite sport• Prepare for the next school year• Research colleges• Visit college campuses• Prepare for standardized tests

Thank You!

• Please take a moment to complete the evaluation form provided. Your input is appreciated.

Where Can I Network?

Family Friends Neighbors Parents’ Friends

Clergy

Doctors/Dentist Online Sites Employer(s) Classmates Clubs

Hairdresser Friends’ Parents

Church/Temple Members

Professional Associations

Co-Workers

Coaches and Team Mates

PTA Members Bank Teller Teachers Workshop Attendees

Your opening…….. "Hello, my name is ________(name). _______(name of referral) referred me to you as someone who may be able to help me. I am interested in working in________ (area of interest). I am calling professionals such as yourself to seek advice about this industry. Would you have 20 minutes to talk with me on______(name day) or at another time that is convenient for you?” “Good Morning. My name is _______ and I am currently trying to learn more about________ (area of interest). I understand that you_______(role at job/association). I was wondering if you would have about 20 minutes to talk with me on______(name day) or at another time that is convenient for you?” If the Answer is no…….

“Thank you very much for your time. Could you recommend someone else I could talk to?”

“I am sorry to have bothered you. Might there be a better time that I could talk to you?”

“Thank you. Could you recommend any associations in your industry where I might be able to learn more about _________?”

Copyright 2009 Rachel L. Manchester

Positive Communication with Your Teen Phrases that show acceptance “I like the way you handled that.” “I like the way you tackle a problem.” “I’m glad you enjoy learning.” “I’m glad you’re pleased with….” “It looks as if you enjoyed that.” “How do you feel about it?” Phrases that show confidence “Knowing you as I do, I’m sure you’ll give it your best try.” “You’ll make it!” “I have confidence in your judgment.” “It’s a rough one, but I’m sure you can figure it out.”

“You met lots of challenges in the past. I have confidence in your ability to meet this tough one.”

Phrases that focus on contributions, assets, and appreciation “Thanks! That helped a lot.” “It was thoughtful of you to…” “I really appreciate that you…” “I could really use your help with…” “Would you do … for the family?” “Your contribution really makes/made a difference.” Phrases that recognize effort and improvement “It looks as if you really worked hard on that.” “You really thought through that carefully.” “Look at the progress you’re making.” “You’ve really come a long way.” Phrases that show respect “I can understand why you’d feel that way.” “Your opinions show that you’ve thought this through carefully.”

“I have a different way of looking at it, but I can certainly see why you’d think that way.” “I hadn’t thought of it that way before.” “That’s a very interesting way to look at…” “I respect your opinion because I respect you, but I see it differently.” “I see that it’s important for you to feel that way.”

LifeWork Strategies

LifeWork Strategies

Positive Communication with Your Teen

POSITIVE NEGATIVE

I expect you to talk to me without using four-letter words. Don’t you dare talk to me that way!

I’m glad you told me. How could you have been so stupid? I am upset that you have not considered my needs. You are incredibly self-centered.

I’m glad you have learned from the experience. I told you so. I am angry that you have not picked up after yourself. Why can’t you do anything around here?

You’ll need to follow through on this. You never take responsibility for anything! The state university that you are applying has standards for grades.

You’ll never get into college with grades like that!

How do you feel about the grade you earned? With the pitiful effort you put in, I knew you’d get a bad grade.

You have some difficult decisions to make. You’re headed for trouble. I appreciate the time you took to clean your room. It’s about time you did something around here.

When you leave your things all over the house, I feel frustrated and embarrassed when company comes.

You’re such a slob!

It sounds as though it is very important to you. You can’t possibly think I’ll agree to that. Our relationship is important to me. All you ever do is fight with me. It’s important that you understand how critical this is.

I can’t believe that you’ll ever be able to get along in this world.

There are consequences to the choices you are making This is the last time I bail you out.

It’s important to me that you make an effort to be less negative. I can’t stand that negative attitude of yours.

Apparently we are finished with this conversation. You always have to have the last word.

Because it’s something I feel very strongly about. Because I said so!

It’s critical that you call me when you are going to be late.

It was irresponsible and inconsiderate of you not to call me.

I expect to be treated with respect. Don’t you talk back to me!

This listing is provided as a reference. Inclusion on this list does not constitute an endorsement of any specific resource, website or its content.

LifeWork Strategies, Inc

Summer Resource List for Teens

Student Service Learning Opportunities & Volunteer Work: • Current volunteer opportunities at NIH,

www.cc.nih.gov/volunteers/opportunities.html • Montgomery County Volunteer Center,

www.montgomerycountymd.gov/volunteer • www.volunteerinternational.org - lists volunteer

opportunities abroad • www.1-800-volunteer.org Teen Jobs: • www.snagajob.com • www.usajobs.gov/studentjobs • www.groovejob.com • www.ecojobs.com • www.Teens4hire.org • www.coolworks.com • www.summerjobs.com • www.coolsummerjobs.com • www.recstaffing.com • www.myfirstpaycheck.com • Newspapers, job boards at community centers,

school counselors, friends and family are also great resources

• www.snagajob.com/teen-student-jobs/resume-tips/ • www.education.com/reference/article/Ref_Job_Inter

view_Tips/

Internships: • www.internshipprograms.com • www.internabroad.com • www.idealist.org - search for internships at

nonprofits, e.g., environmental groups • www.training.nih.gov/programs/sip - Summer

Internship Program in Biomedical Research Teen Camps: • Summer Camp Guide: you can request a copy at

http://does.ors.od.nih.gov/childcare/

Other Teen Resources: NIH Lunch & Learn Parenting Seminars The following seminars and handouts are archived at: http://does.ors.od.nih.gov/childcare/parent_seminars.htm • Talking with Teens and Tweens about Tough Issues • Meaningful Communication with Your Teen • Cyber Safety • Preparing for College: Are You and Your Teen

Ready? • Home Alone: Are You and Your Child Ready? NIH Parenting LISTSERV http://does.ors.od.nih.gov/childcare/wlc_services.htm#listserv - An interactive e-mail list for parents to discuss child care and parenting issues. Medline Plus – Adolescent Development www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/002003.htm Tips for Parenting Tweens www.tweenparenting.about.com Parenting Tips and Articles on Parenting Teens www.byparents-forparents.com/index.html Talking with Kids about Tough Issues www.talkingwithkids.org The National Parent Information Network www.npin.org The National Association for Self Esteem www.self-esteem-nase.org/reference.shtml Teens and the Internet www.netsmartz.org Hotlines: • National Youth Crisis Hotline

(800) HIT-HOME, (800) 448-4663 • Montgomery County Crisis Center

(240)777-4000

2011 Local Camp Fairs

Attend a camp fair to speak directly with representatives from a variety of camps.

Inclusion in the below list does not constitute an endorsement of any specific event or camp.

**PLEASE CALL AHEAD: DATES & TIMES ARE SUBJECT TO CHANGE**

Event Fair Date(s) & Time Address Phone

Overnight Camps and Teen Fair Saturday, January 22 1pm - 3:30pm

Sidwell Friends School 3825 Wisconsin Ave, NW

Washington, DC

Organized by Tips on Trips (866) 222-8477

Fair Oaks Mall Camp Expo Saturday, January 22

10am - 5pm & Sunday, January 23

12pm - 5pm

11750 Fair Oaks Mall Fairfax, VA 22033 (703) 359-8300

Baltimore Summer Camp Fair Sunday, January 23 1pm - 3:30pm

Park School 2425 Old Court Road

Baltimore, MD

Organized by Tips on Trips (866) 222-8477

Potomac Mills Mall Camp Expo

Saturday, January 29 10am - 5pm

& Sunday, January 30 12pm - 5pm

2700 Potomac Mills Circle Prince William, Virginia (703) 496-9301

White Flint Mall Camp Expo Saturday, January 29

10am - 5pm & Sunday, January 30

12pm-5pm

Rockville Pike at Nicholson Lane North Bethesda, MD

(301) 231-SHOP

Columbia Summer Camp Expo Sunday, January 30 2:30pm - 5pm

Kahler Hall 5440 Old Tucker Row Columbia, MD 21044

(410) 730-0770

Overnight Camps and Teen Fair

Saturday, February 5 1pm - 3:30pm

12:30 - panel discussion on language immersion

programs

The Potomac School 1301 Potomac School Rd

McLean, Virginia

Organized by Tips on Trips (866) 222-8477

Lakeforest Mall Camp Expo Saturday, February 19

11am - 5pm & Sunday, February 20

11am - 5pm

701 Russell Avenue Gaithersburg, Maryland (301) 840-5840

Chesapeake Family’s Camp Fair Saturday, February 26 10am - 2pm

Annapolis Area Christian School 716 Bestgate Road Annapolis, Maryland

(410) 263-1641

Camp Fair at Dulles Town Center

Saturday, February 26 10am - 4pm

& Sunday, February 27 11am - 3pm

21100 Dulles Town Circle Dulles, Virginia (703) 404-7120

Summer Opportunities Fair for Children with Special Needs

Sunday, February 27 1pm - 3:30pm

11614 Seven Locks Road Potomac, MD

Organized by Tips on Trips (866) 222-8477

2011 Resident/Overnight Camps in Maryland, ACA-Accredited

Inclusion in the following list does not constitute an endorsement of any specific camp.

Visit www.campparents.org for more ACA-accredited camps outside of Maryland. Search by state, camp specialty, or focus on children with special needs.

Airy Thurmont, MD www.airylouise.org Boys Only from 7 to 17 Cultural Focus: Jewish American Camp Conowingo Conowingo, MD www.gscm.org Girls Only from 6 to 17 Camp Pecometh Centreville, MD www.pecometh.org Coed from 6 to 17 Cultural Focus: Christianity

Camp Puh Tok Monkton, MD www.camppuhtok.com Coed from 5 to 16 Cultural Focus: Native American Camp Saint Charles Newburg, MD www.campstcharles.org Coed from 7 to 13 Cultural Focus: Christianity Camp Thendara Hurlock, MD www.maryland4h.org Coed from 8 to 10 Camp Wright Stevensville, MD www.campwright.org Coed from 7 to 16 Cultural Focus: Christianity Carroll County 4-H Youth Development Westminster, MD www.maryland4h.org Coed from 8 to 14 Echo Hill Camp Worton, MD www.echohillcamp.com Coed from 7 to 16

Elks Camp Barrett Annapolis, MD www.campfireusa-patuxent.org Boys Only from 9 to 13 Girls Only from 9 to 13 Fairlee Manor Chestertown, MD www.de.easterseals.com Coed, Boys Only, Girls Only from 9 to young adult Special Needs Frederick County 4-H Camp Frederick, MD www.frederick.umd.edu Coed from 8 to 18 Grove Point Earleville, MD www.cbgsc.org Girls Only from 6 to 17 Habonim Dror Camp Moshava Street, MD www.campmosh.org Coed from 9 to 15 Cultural Focus: Jewish American Harford County 4-H Camp Inc Street, MD www.maryland4h.org Coed from 8 to 18 Kamp-A-Kom-Plish/Melwood Nanjemoy, MD www.kampakomplish.org Coed from 6 to 16 Special Needs League at Camp Greentop Sabillasville, MD www.campgreentop.org Coed from 7 to young adult Special Needs Louise Cascade, MD www.airylouise.org Girls Only from 7 to 17 Cultural Focus: Jewish American

Lions Camp Merrick Nanjemoy, MD www.lionscampmerrick.org Coed from 6 to 16 Diabetes Program; Special Needs Mar-Lu-Ridge Hagerstown, MD www.mar-lu-ridge.org Coed from 7 to 15 Cultural Focus: Christianity Mount Aetna Camp Hagerstown, MD www.mtaetnacamp.com Coed, Boys Only, Girls Only from 7 to 16 Cultural Focus: Christianity Patuxent River 4-H Center Upper Marlboro, MD www.patuxentriver4hcenter.comCoed from 8 to 14 Ripken Baseball Camp Aberdeen, MD www.ripkenbaseball.com Coed from 7 to 18 Sandy Hill Camp North East, MD www.sandyhillcamp.com Coed, Boys Only, Girls Only from 8 to 16 Western Maryland 4-H Center Swanton, MD www.maryland4h.org Coed, Boys Only, Girls Only from 8 to 18 YMCA Camp Tockwogh Worton, MD www.tockwogh.org Coed from 8 to 15

Do you need help finding quality child care?

1-800-777-1720 NIH employees and contractors have

free unlimited access to the NIH Child Care Resource & Referral Service.

A Work/Life Specialist can help you to assess your family’s needs and find resources on a range of topics,

such as:

• Evaluating care options • Before & after school care • Finding licensed providers • Back-up care • Child Care Centers • Summer camp • Family Child Care Homes • Adoption resources • Nanny care • Special needs resources • Pre-schools & Nursery • College planning

This program is sponsored by NIH Office of Research Services

Division of Amenities and Transportation Services

For more information, visit: http://does.ors.od.nih.gov/childcare

This program is administered by LifeWork Strategies, Inc.

An Important Service for NIH Employees: If you are a caregiver, contact us for free consultation and resources to help meet your family’s needs. Support is only a phone call away.

1-800-777-1720

NIH Dependent Care NIH Employees, trainees and contractors have free, unlimited access to a Work/life Specialist, who can help you to assess your caregiving role and support you by providing a range of resources and referrals. Examples include:

Housing Options Home Health Aides Evaluating care options Special needs resources

Transportation Services Preventing Elder Fraud Child care providers College planning

Meal Services Long-distance caregiving Nanny / in-home care Tips for paying for care

Adult Day Care Communication tips Back-up care resources And more…

Adoption information

This program is sponsored by the NIH Office of Research Services,

Division of Amenities and Transportation Services.

For more information visit:

http://does.ors.od.nih.gov/childcare.

This seminar was presented by

Jennifer Alfonso, MBA, MSW, LCSW-C Jennifer Alfonso is a nationally recognized expert and speaker on anger and stress management, conflict resolution, and effective communication. Ms. Alfonso is the Founder and Director of ANGER MANAGEMENT TECHNIQUES, a program utilized by the States Attorneys Office of Maryland since 1997. Her programs focus on primary, secondary, and tertiary interventions for anger and violence at both work and home. Ms. Alfonso, a formally trained mediator, currently facilitates weekly anger and stress management programs for adults and two adolescent anger management groups for adjudicated youth. Ms. Alfonso is a former board member of the Conflict Resolution Center of Montgomery County. In addition, Ms. Alfonso has expertise in organizational behavior and served as a part-time faculty member at a local college for courses in organizational management. For over a decade she worked as an instructor in Montgomery County Public Schools teaching courses in stress management, anger management, effective communication and conflict resolution. Ms. Alfonso is a dynamic and engaging speaker who acts as a national consultant for both public and private organizations and has presented over nine hundred training workshops to organizations such as: The Department of Justice, Centers for Disease Control, Montgomery County Department of Fire and Rescue Services, Maryland’s Department of Juvenile Services and The Association of Flight Attendants. In addition to her current work, she presents seminars for LifeWork Strategies.

(301) 963-2473 www.angermanagement.org