What to Do When You Don’t Know What to Do

Practical Guidance for

Today’s Counselors

Stumper

What kinds of situations are you finding where

You don’t know what to do?

Not Knowing

1. How can I know everything?

2. Main reason: Not knowing is a door and not a wall

3. Just admit it

Why is it ok to not know?

10. Is frantically searching for the “Ask the Shrink” ap on his smart phone.

 9. Pretends to fall asleep while

talking to you. 8. If you are having trouble with low

self-esteem, he tells you he doesn’t have time for you today.

7. Turns all your inner children against you.

 6. Tells the secretary to pull the fire

alarm 15 minutes into the session. 

Top 10 List:How to Know Your Therapist

Doesn’t Know What to Do

5. Follows your concerns with, “You think you got it bad, my sister in ....”

 4. Constantly rolling his eyes and

making cuckoo signs. 3. At the end of your session, he

yells, “Time’s up,” and high fives the receptionist.

 2. Whenever you tell him one of

your dreams, he says, “Come on, that’s an old Twilight Zone.”

 1. Constantly asks you “so you’re

just going to rule out suicide completely?”

Top 10 List: How to Know Your Therapist

Doesn’t Know What to Do

YOU ARE ONLY AS GOOD A THERAPIST AS YOU ARE A PERSON

If you want to be a better therapist, you need to work on being a better person.

The Use of “Self” in Therapy

Knowing

Principles

Relationship -Survey shows

Curiosity- CSIClient’s theory of

change -Erickson and the horseLove and fear

Factors that create change in the therapeutic process

Humor

Perspective

Keeping Fresh

Avoid Pet Theories

Factors that create change in the therapeutic process

KnowingSpecific Situations and Skills

Client

Relationship with Therapist

Problem

Sources of Not Knowing

1. Is unmotivated. Answer: anticipation of reward, fear of consequences 2. Is stuck or has given up.Answer: chunk up, chunk down3. Is overwhelmedAnswer: review progress, therapeutic vacation4. Has a personality disorderAnswer: Utilization, walking the dog

I don’t know what to do when the client:

1. The client is challenging or antagonistic towards you.

Answer: Aikido2. The client is emotionally

drainingAnswer: Semi-permeable membrane,

massage advice3. The client liesAnswer: Gandhi Story, turn off BS

detector4. The client is resistantAnswer: And why is that?

I don’t know what to do when in the relationship:

Has so many aspects Answer: Serenity list

Is a hopeless situation Answer: Answer vs. Answers.

Others are the source of the problem

Answer: Strength bombardment, empowerment

I don’t know what to do when the problem:

SilenceFavorite questionsRefer

Some other strategies

What would you do?

Join the Website

What to Do When You Don’t Know What to Do at jonwindercounseling.com

The Awesomeness of Counseling

Thank you for what you are doing!