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What is Your Dream?
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• Do you dream of lettuce?
• Do you dream of salad?
• Imagine your life 3X better.
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3 Big Questions:
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Who am I?
What matters?
What do I want?
What is Your Super Theory of
Life?
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Who We Are, What We Want and How We Get it.
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Super Theory
PleasureManipulate
BullyWanting
Boredom
SuccessSelf Control
Conform
DoingSocial Comparison
Integrity
ChoiceBeing
Intrinsic
Three Generations, Three Super Theories, Three Dreams. d r e a md r e a m
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GREATEST GENERATION BOOMERS GEN 21
• 35 M (60+)
• Valuable
• Secure
• Loyal
• 75 M (40-60)
• Visible
• Successful
• Independent
• 126 M (15-40)
• Vital
• Happy
• Collaborative
Gen21: Open Minded, Optimistic, Confident, Collaborative, Autonomous
YOUNGEST: OPTIMISTICZZ MIDDLE:
REALISTICYYOLDEST:SKEPTICALXX
21st Century Generation
We Live 3 Lives
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Birth – 25……..Self Discovery
26 – 50………...Experience
50 +…………….WisdomIt’s not too late to live your
Dream Life.
The Story of Our Lives
STATUS QUO CRISIS
Don’t Want
Do Want
Envision
Collaborate
Growth Spiral
Deny
RationalizeDeath Spiral
Hero’s Journey
COWARD
HERO
Blame
Innovate
Bigger Dreams for ALL:
Dream Goals for a New Future
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Happiness: Life Satisfaction
Positive Emotion | Passionate Engagement | Personal Meaning
One Life, Now
1. Life Alignment
2. Life Autonomy
3. Life Achievement
Take the Dream Life Challenge.
Incompetence Capability Skill Design
Failure
Mediocrity
Success
Dream Life
Avoidance
Willingness
Interest
Desire
GTV
Our dreams are discovered when our Design and Desires
meet.
WHO AM I? Design
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WHO AM I? Design
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• Traits
• Talents
• Track Record
If you don’t know WHO you are, you won’t know WHAT you want.
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Pleasure
Success
Meaning
Design: Traits & Talents
Our Super Theory Determines Our Identity
Achievement, Job, Thoughts
Tribes
Body, Emotions, Traumas
Mind
Body
Spirit
1) What parts of your current life should be eliminated?
2) What do you need to add to your life that expresses your uniqueness?
3) What parts of your life should you invest in well above the average person’s life?
4) How are you going to be and live different than everyone else?
5) How do you define your unique approach to life?
What do you stand for?
Who Am I?Traits
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• Enduring Strengths
• How You Experience Reality
• How You Want to Offer Value
Discovering Your Soul’s Traits
• What do you most value about me?
• What do you most admire about me?
• What do you most enjoy about me?
VIA Signature Strengths Survey @ AmericanDreamProject.org
WHO AM I?INNATE TRAITS
• Creativity
• Curiosity
• Open-mindedness
• Love of Learning
• Perspective
• Bravery
• Persistence
• Integrity
• Vitality
• Love
• Kindness
• Social Intelligence
• Citizenship
• Fairness
• Leadership
• Forgiveness & Mercy
• Humility/Modesty
• Prudence
• Self-regulation
• Appreciation of Beauty and Excellence
• Gratitude
• Hope
• Humor
• Spirituality
Who am I?Talents: 3 Clues
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• Compliments
• Energy, Effort, Ease
• Desire for Mastery
Who Am I?Skills for the 21st
Century
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• Integrity
• Relationships
• Wisdom
Discovering Your Talents
• What do you most value about me?
• What would you like me to do more of?
• What would you like me to do less of?
Your Dream Lifestyle
• Life List
• Live Rich
WHAT MATTERS? Drive
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Drive: Prime Motive
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GainGrowGive
GiveGrowGain
Lost Boys of Sudan
What can I do?
“I can’t do everything, but I can do something.
I will not let the things I cannot do
prevent me from doing the things I can.”
* Helen Keller Paraphrased
Our Drive is Our Message
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Love or Fear
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What do I want?What does my soul
desire?
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• Are we cyborgs?• Do we all want to be rock stars?• Whose life are we living?• Unplug, Ask, Listen.• Pay attention to reality: never mistake a goal for a
dream.
Soul Reflection
1. Unplug, Ask, Listen
2. Read, Discuss3. Become Conscious
DESIRES: Lifestyle
What do I want?
Positive Emotions, Passionate Engagement, Personal Meaning
• Where You Live• How You Live• Why You Live
Desire
• Deepest longings.
• Choice if no one cared.
• Energy gain.
Lifestyle, Relationships, Career
Positive Emotions, Passionate Engagement, Personal Meaning
Where You Live | How You Live | Why You Live
LifestyleLifestyle
DESIRES: Career
DESIRES: Career
What do I want?
What do I want?
Future Proof Your Life
Be Unique.
Don’t Compete
You already are.
Just turn up the volume.
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Career: Be Original, Be Great, Be Passionate
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• Choice if no one cared.• Unconventional job fit.• Constant, creative learning.• Energy gain.
So How Great Do You Want To Be?
Source: Paul Arden
Good Quite Good Very GoodThe Best in Your Field.
The Best in the World.
Career:Design & Drive is What
Counts
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Stand Out, Don’t Fit In
Career: Drive
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Transform Ambition to Inspiration
• Blind ambition is slavery.
• Change YOUR World.
Be Global Proof:Design & Drive is What
Counts
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Stand Out, Don’t Fit In
Become an Expert with High Emotional Intelligence
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Career: Life Chapters
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10 Things You Want to Do Before You Die
Evolution of Work Value
d r e a md r e a mProcess Worker
(Labor)
Knowledge Worker(Facts)
Creative Work(Ideas)
Wisdom Work(Judgment)
CAREERCAREER
DESIRES: Relationship
s
DESIRES: Relationship
s
What do I want?
What do I want?
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• Without Love there is no happiness.
• With Love there is no emptiness.
• Relationships are the source of all human meaning.
RelationshipsRelationships
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• Without Love there is no happiness.
• With Love there is no emptiness.
• Relationships are the source of all human meaning.
Our Deepest Longing is Genuine Love
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• Spam instead of intimacy.
• Sex instead of love.
• Options instead of commitment.
Love requires both Intimacy and
Commitment.d r e a md r e a m
Insecure, Undermining
Aggressive, Bargaining
Active Advocacy
Pleasure
Goals
Integrity
The Quality of Our Relationships Comes from Our Super Theory
Demands/Threats
Passive
Design: Traits & Talents
Achievement, Job, Thoughts
Body, Emotions, Traumas
If Love Drives You, Create More Love
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• Understand
• Affirm
• Involve
When your Design + Drive + Desire are all
connected, you are living your Dream.
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Wisdom
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• Reason – Examine your assumptions.
• Common Sense – What results are you getting?
• Intuition – What do you already know?
Soul’s Desire
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• Will not cause innocents to suffer.
• Happiness, Contentment, Patience
• Grateful, Optimistic
What is Your Dream?Relationships
LifestyleCareer
GrowthLeadership
What is Your Dream?
AmericanDreamProject.org
We Live 3 Lives
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Birth – 25……..Self Discovery
26 – 50………...Experience
50 +…………….WisdomIt’s not too late to live your
Dream Life.
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What if there was another way?
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The greatest good for the greatest The greatest good for the greatest number produces the greatest number produces the greatest
good for each individual.good for each individual. - John Nash- John Nash
CHOOSECHOOSE
Join the 21st Century Revolution
Find Your Voice
Act for the Common Good
Swim or Surf
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Promise Broken?
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• Failure of Leadership.• Decline of Middle Class.• Cost of Education Skyrocketing.• Society is not Designed to Produce Happiness.• Social Trends of Gen21
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BOOMER WORLD: Dream or Nightmare
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• OVER Work
• OVER Stress
• Over Consumption
Pleasure + Goals =
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The Dream Gap
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• Boomers are perplexed.• Real work, real meaning,
right now!• Business must be hothouse for
personal & professional growth.
Our Children Can’t AffordHomes
EducationInsurance
Rising Tide of Change
Social Justice
OPRAH
BONO
CLOONEY
PITT/JOLIE
POP CULTURE
Zero Waste
SUSTAINABILITY
PATAGONIA
GE WINDMILLS
WAL-MART
SUNEDISON
Labor Rights
SOCIAL ACCOUNTABILITY
NIKE
GAPSA 8000
Save the Future
PERSONAL MEANING
GEN21
BOOMER
MAKE A DIFFERENCE
REDEMPTION
Heal the World
PHILANTHROPY
GATES
CLINTON
BUFFET
BUSH 1
GOOGLEEBAY
The StormThe Storm
Revolutions1. Declaration of Independence “Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness”
2. Gettysburg Address & Emancipation Proclamation “…By the people, for the people.”
3. New Deal to Civil Rights “I have a dream.”
4. Noo Future “We have 40 years to save the world.”
“Is this the best we can do?”
LIFE
LIBERTY
HAPPINESS
What’s Happening?
QuickTime™ and aTIFF (Uncompressed) decompressor
are needed to see this picture.
QuickTime™ and aTIFF (Uncompressed) decompressor
are needed to see this picture.
QuickTime™ and aTIFF (Uncompressed) decompressor
are needed to see this picture.
QuickTime™ and aTIFF (Uncompressed) decompressor
are needed to see this picture.Cost of Gas up 160%Home Prices up 325%School Tuition up 330%
Gen21• Don’t want Boomer World (Over work, over stressed, over stuffed)
• Want Families that Work• Want the Truth, not Spin, not Hype• Want More than Success – a Life They Value and Enjoy• Their Dream is Their Career• Real Work/Real Meaning/Real Rewards• Want to Make Their Difference
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Gen21’s ConfusionRelationships – Avoid Commitment
Materialism – Take What You Can Get
Work – Too Many Choices / No Choices
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PATAGONIA
CLINTON
Rising Tide of Change
Social Justice
Heal the World
Zero Waste
Labor Rights
Save the Future
OPRAH
BONO
POP CULTURE
PHILANTHROPY
SUSTAINABILITY
PERSONAL MEANING
GATES
GE WINDMILLS
NIKE
GAP
GEN21
BOOMER
GOOGLEEBAY
CLOONEY
PITT/JOLIE
BUFFET
BUSH 1
WAL-MART
MAKE A DIFFERENCE
REDEMPTION
SOCIAL ACCOUNTABILITY
SUNEDISON
SA 8000
United Voice & Vision
Greatest good for each and all
Universal Principles
Life, Liberty & Pursuit of Happiness
Personal ActionDesign + Desire + Drive
New Enterprise Model(GTV)
New Education Model(Free Lifelong Learning)
New Civic Model(Common Good)
American Dream Project
What is Your Dream?
What is Your Promise?The Storm
Revolutions
1. Declaration of Independence “Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness”
2. Gettysburg Address & Emancipation Proclamation “…By the people, for the people.”
3. New Deal to Civil Rights “I have a dream.”
4. Noo Future “We have 40 years to save the world.”
“Is this the best we can do?”
LIFE
LIBERTY
HAPPINESS
Dream Life Requirements1. Conscious Integrity
2. Willful Choice
3. Creative Effort
4. Morally Significant Goals
Source: Chris Peterson 2006
4 American Revolutions
CRISIS
REVOLUTION
More Happiness
More Suffering
Private Greed +
Public Corruption +
Economic/Social/Technological Change
Threatens Our Future
Cause is Always the Same.
3 Paths to Your Dreams
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• Early Insight
• Reflective Walk
• Active Exploration
Life has Chapters.
The World Needs Your Dream and
Your Leadership
The GridMedia-Financial Complex
The GridMedia-Financial Complex
Belonging
Independence
Growth SecurityWisdomChange
the World
Still Be Home
for Dinner
What do we want?What do we want?
Source: M. Mark
(Belonging)
(Independence)
(Growth) (Security)FEAR
Traps of FearTraps of Fear
Controlling
StuffPleasure
Willfulness
Prime Directive + Prime Motive are necessary to avoid the traps of fear.
5 Sources of Anxiety5 Sources of Anxiety
1. Personal Confusion
2. Emotional Anxiety
3. Reality Distortion
4. Relationship Difficulties
5. Spiritual Uncertainty
WORK LOVE PLAY
Personal Interests
Make a difference Relationships
What we want: What we want: FulfillmentFulfillment
Change the World and Still Be Home for Dinner
PROBLEM:
Life cannot be scheduled
Trying to balance leads to more anxiety.
Balance is not fulfillment.
“If I schedule time with my children, my spouse and at the gym, I will feel balanced.”
I Can Mange My Time Better and Find Fulfillment.
11stst Catastrophic Catastrophic ErrorError
I Can Achieve My Way to Fulfillment.
22ndnd Catastrophic Catastrophic ErrorError
PROBLEM:
Salt water will not quench your thirst.
“If I do what I should…”
1. I will be acceptable, loveable, appreciated.
2. My life will turn out the way I need it to.
3. I will feel fulfilled…insecure, confident, perfectionist.
Magical Thinking will Make Me Happy.
33rdrd Catastrophic Catastrophic ErrorError
PROBLEM:
Self deception can lead to a counterfeit calling.
“If I follow my heart, live my dream, find my bliss… I will be fulfilled.”
WisdomWisdom
Identity Truth
Autonomy Love
Our Thinking is ThoughtlessOur Thinking is Thoughtless
• 40,000 Thoughts per Day:
Random, Repetitive, Unfocused
• 95% of our Decisions:
Unconscious, Habitual and Unreflective
• Thinking is Dominated by:
Bias and Confusion
Often Resulting in Self-inflicted Misery.
“Not everything that counts can be counted.”
- Albert Einstein
The Universe:
4 % is Matter we Understand
23% is Dark Matter
73% is Dark Energy
E=MC2
The Truth is Always More The Truth is Always More Than we KnowThan we Know
Action ChainAction Chain
Perception
Evaluation
Emotions
Action
The Quality of our Thinking Determines the Quality of our Lives
How We ThinkHow We Think
Intuitive
Practical
Analytical
Inner Self
Outer Self
Self Concept
High Achievers ThinkingHigh Achievers Thinking
Intuitive
Practical
Analytical
Inner Self
Outer Self
Self Concept
Just Who Do You Think You Are?
What happens if we are true to ourselves? If we are dysfunctional? Conforming? What are my Values? Thoughts? Decisions?
Identity
Integrity
Decisions
Values
Thoughts
Results
Actions
Wisdom Wisdom is theis the InsightInsight to useto use Knowledge, Judgment Knowledge, Judgment andand Virtue Virtue
for thefor the Greatest Good. Greatest Good.
……to to ThinkThink and and ActAct in a way that in a way that
results in results in fulfillmentfulfillment..
The Path to Wisdom is The Path to Wisdom is Focused ListeningFocused Listening
TheThe Right Right answers require theanswers require the Right Right questionsquestions..
8 Wisdom Questions8 Wisdom Questions
TALENT
DESIREPURPOSE
PRIME DIRECTIVE
How am I going to Change the World?How am I going to Change the World?
Am I a Slugbot?
Am I a Slug?Am I a Slug?
What am I?
8 Questions: Wisdom Question 1
•I am not my body…
•I am not my emotions…
•I am not my thoughts…
•I am not my roles…
WHAT AM I?
Belief Traps
Who is making my decisions?Who is making my decisions?
• My body…. Food, sleep
• Emotions…. Shopping, sex
• Mental anxiety…. Drinking, drugs, sports
• Roles…perfectionistic demands
If decisions are driven by:
Stress pushes us to lower levels of consciousness.
What virtues do I most admire?
8 Questions: Wisdom Question 2
Virtue: Values that are Habits
What am I great at?
8 Questions: Wisdom Question 3
•What do you receive COMPLIMENTS for?
•What would you do for FREE?
•What do you LOVE to do that you do WELL?
Finding our PRIME DIRECTIVE
Character TalentTalent
Weakness CompetenceVir
tues
Vir
tues
AbilityAbility•Success Stories
•Competent Feedback
•Positive Energy
•Who you Admire
Clues to Talent:
Your talent is the light that illuminates what your soul wants.
What do I want?What do I want?
Desire PurposeTalent + +
We are clear on what we don’t want.We are clear on what we don’t want.
1.Illness
2.Poverty
3.Loneliness
4.Boredom
5.Powerlessness
6.Meaninglessness
Disaster Movie or Hero’s Journey?Disaster Movie or Hero’s Journey?
Hero’s Journey: Adult MaturityHero’s Journey: Adult Maturity
Dysfunctional
Functional
Fulfilling Transcendent
Autonomous
Manipulative
Impulsive
Conscientious
Conforming
35%
55%
10%
ThoughtThought WillWill
Responsibilities
Wants
Choice
• Is able to ask for what you desire
• See multiple points of view without being confused (both/and)
• Patient and decisive
• Persistent and flexible
• Can act in ambiguous circumstance
• Clear on personal gifts and shortcomings
• Passionate interests and experiences joy
• Has a clear sense of purpose
AutonomyAutonomyAutonomy requires the highest level of personal maturity and wisdom.
It requires nothing less than a new understanding of who we are.
What does my Soul Desire?What does my Soul Desire?
Do want Don’t wantDesire
Mea
nin
gM
ean
ing
TalentTalent
Can Do Well
Inspires You Work
FamilyFriends
Romantic partnerHealth
Passionate interestsService Legacy
8 Questions: Wisdom Question 4
Positive VisionPositive Vision
Drudgery
What does it matter?What does it matter?
8 Questions: Wisdom Question 5
Meaning is not determined by Size of Impact. Purpose will change with Time.
Purpose
PurposeD
esir
eD
esir
e
TalentTalent
Empty
Restless
Driven
The source of all human purpose is Service
To Be Fulfilled:To Be Fulfilled: To Become Conscious of Our Lives’ To Become Conscious of Our Lives’
SignificanceSignificance
• What happens - is least important.
• Our motives, our gifts, our learning – are most important.
• Soul’s wisdom reveals what’s most important – where we are growing and where we are stuck.
Observe our lives from the Observe our lives from the viewpoint of our souls.viewpoint of our souls.
All we have to do is… ASK!All we have to do is… ASK!
Integrity = Engaging in your Prime
Directive 80% of your time.
PRIME DIRECTIVE
Still Be Home for DinnerStill Be Home for Dinner
PRIME MOTIVE
It is not how you schedule your time – it is
how you live your life that will determine
your level of fulfillment.
LoveLove and TruthTruth are the
MotherMother and FatherFather of all virtue.
We are all Character ActorsWe are all Character Actors
What is your “come from?”
SITUATION: LOVED ONE
“Don’t Worry, I’ll Clean the Car.”
•Loving Concern•Being Right
Intrinsic LoveIntrinsic Love
- ---+ +++
All Feelings Decay into a Concept
Practical: Are you meeting my needs?
Analytical: Are you doing what you are supposed to?
+ + + + + +- - - - - -
REAL Love
-- ++
1. Understand
2. Affirm
3. Involve
+
+
Intrinsic
Practical
Systemic
RomanceRomanceTOUCHTOUCH
THOUGHTFULNESSTHOUGHTFULNESS
TIMETIME
LOVE as a PRIME MOTIVE
• No manipulators or bullies allowed.
• Neither needy or demanding.
• Focus on strengths; quirks don’t matter.
Love from Your Soul
What can I do to Love What can I do to Love more powerfully?more powerfully?
8 Questions: Wisdom Question 6
When Real Love is our PRIME When Real Love is our PRIME MOTIVE, what happens?MOTIVE, what happens?
TRUTH as a PRIME MOTIVE
Love without Truth – Masochistic fool
Truth without Love – Sadistic dictator
Are you a virtuous idiot or an evil genius?
If Love is Heat, Truth is Light.
Truth TellingTruth TellingOPENHIDDEN
Bully 3
•Aggressive
•Dominate
•Demand
•Threaten
•Force
•Insist
Goal: Win
Result: Isolation
Peacemaker 1
•Passive
•Avoid Conflict
•Agreeable
Goal: Harmony
Result: Depression
Influencer 4
•Respectful
•Enthusiastic
•Authentic/ Sincere
Goal: Shared Reality
Result: Trust
Manipulator 2
•Passive Aggressive
•Deceive
•Guilt
•Blame
•Criticize
•Victim
Goal: Control
Result: Low Trust
8 Questions: Wisdom Question 7
What do I already know?What do I already know?
Find the Truth within.
Listen for the Wisdom of your soul.
• Courage
• Hunger
• Humility
Truth requires:
What can I do, now?What can I do, now?
8 Questions: Wisdom Question 8
Pursuit of Truth
• Believes in the myth of the right choice.
• Needs to examine all choices.
• Keeps options open.• Drowns in the anxiety
of over-choice.• Loses contact with
truth.
• Knows what they want.
• Believes in making the choice right.
• Engages in progressive action.
• Commits to valuing their choice.
• Discovers more truth.
High AchieverHigh Achiever MaximizerMaximizer
Matterhorn or
Splatterhorn
FulfillmentFulfillment
Self Discipline
Fulfillment
Emptiness
Self Absorbed
En
joy
En
joy
Pri
me
Dir
ecti
veP
rim
e D
irec
tive
ValueValue
Prime MotivePrime Motive
The Feather of Truth
SCALE OF LIFE
Prime Directive: Your Gift
Prime Motive: Your Character
Change the World and Change the World and Still Be Home for Dinner Still Be Home for Dinner
Leave with a Loving HeartLoving Heart
an Open MindOpen MindNo RegretsNo Regrets.and
