What do I believe?By Mike Jensen

This short piece was written after a lively debate with a friend on a walk from Wonthaggi to Kilcunda on the Bass Coast of Victoria. At one point on that hot afternoon my friend declared that he has never been able to have an authentic conversation at work and moreover, he insisted workplaces are not ‘designed’ to have authentic discussions. I naturally disagreed on this point and by the time we reached Kilcunda we were each probably more convinced of our positions than ever. I don’t mind that he did not see it from my point of view because I am grateful for our debate on that hot afternoon because it helped me examine my values and where I stood on this question of authentic communication

Based on my experience in consulting to workplaces I believe…

I believe that everyone wants to feel connected in our significant relationships – to feel understood, to feel heard, to feel that if there is a problem that it can be addressed quickly through open honest discussion. I feel that this should be true of our relationships at work.

Copyright. All rights reserved. Michael Jensen. 2009

With our colleagues, our manager and our direct reports I believe that connectedness means we can have honest conversations with one another. We can have respectful discussions about our mutual expectations. Between a team leader and the team there can be a conversation around performance, feedback and that we can have ‘crucial conversations’ to clear the air – directly. One to one. And we can discuss our emotions. Some people believe that it is not professional to discuss our emotions at work. Well I don’t believe that. I believe that emotions are at the heart of everything we do. Emotions determine whether we are engaged in what we do or whether we are disengaged from our jobs.

Copyright. All rights reserved. Michael Jensen. 2009

I believe that too often in workplaces we do not have honest conversations because we are afraid….

We are afraid that if we speak our truth we will make matters worse.We are afraid that we might upset the other person.We are afraid of the emotions that might be evoked in the other person.We are afraid of the emotions that we might awaken in ourselves.

Copyright. All rights reserved. Michael Jensen. 2009

For many of us, we learn to “keep the peace”. Over time we become disconnected from the people we want to be connected to. We become disengaged from our work and ultimately we become disengaged from a big part of our lives. When we experience this we are isolated from one another and inhabit a lonely island of grief.

Copyright. All rights reserved. Michael Jensen. 2009

I also know that I am an idealist – always have been. I know that to have the types of conversations I am talking about requires a level of emotional maturity on both sides. And this requires of us to be honest with ourselves. We may need to look in the mirror and face the reality that we need to do some work to rebuild bridges with the other person/persons. Sometimes it is hard giving up our set of beliefs and stereotypes that make us feel safe within the thick walls of our ego defences.

Copyright. All rights reserved. Michael Jensen. 2009

But provided that people’s hearts are not hardened to the possibility of transformation both in our relationships and with ourselves, I believe it is worthwhile to undertake the work involved. It is also takes courage however….

What are you prepared to do to reconnect with your relationships at work?

[1] Copyright. All rights reserved. Michael Jensen. 2009