Follow Up from Day One Warm -up What is one thing you think you
might need on a Kinship Support Plan? OR Comment on one thing you
learned yesterday. Kinship Orientation Training Alberta 2014
Slide 3
Agenda Child-Rearing Practices Parenting Plus Working with
Child Intervention Services Kinship Orientation Training Alberta
2014
Slide 4
Child-Rearing Practices 4 Kinship Orientation Training Alberta
2014
Slide 5
Whats Changed Since You Parented? previous role of parent as
disciplinarian now is as teacher/nurturer safe sleep practices
issues about immunizations/vaccinations 5 Kinship Orientation
Training Alberta 2014
Slide 6
Whats Changed Since You Parented? contd technology children
using it at an early age access to information web, social media
access to support may be less family support if families are
smaller and more distant from one another 6 Kinship Orientation
Training Alberta 2014 to
Slide 7
Safe Sleep Practices always put babies to sleep on their backs
a crib is the safest place for a baby to sleep do not let a baby
sleep for extended periods of time in a car seat, swing, playpen,
or stroller do not expose the baby to second hand smoke do not
share the bed
Slide 8
Parent as Teacher 8 Kinship Orientation Training Alberta 2014
Identifying long term goals Understand how children think and feel
Problem solving Provide warmth
Slide 9
Long Term Goals vs Short Term Goals Identify five things you
need your child to accomplish before you leave the house in the
morning. These are short term goals things that need to accomplish
now. NowImagine your child at 20? What kind of person do you want
your child be? What kind of relationship do you want to have with
your child? These are long term goals things that take years to
accomplish they are the heart of parenting. Kinship Orientation
Training Alberta 2014
Slide 10
Providing Warmth be kind and caring even when your child does
something wrong listen to them look at the situation from their
point of view laugh and play with them support them when they are
facing challenges encourage them when they have to do something
difficult tell them that you believe in them recognize their
efforts and successes show them you trust them Kinship Orientation
Training Alberta 2014
Slide 11
Providing Structure We are all more successful when: we are
given the information that we need the rules or expectations are
appropriate for our skills and abilities the reason for the rule is
explained in an age appropriate way someone talks calmly with us
about our mistakes someone shows us how to improve next time
everyone follow the rules Punishment makes us afraid to try and
doesnt teach us what they need to know to do better. Kinship
Orientation Training Alberta 2014
Slide 12
Physical Punishment Hitting is an ineffective discipline
measure because it often inhibits rather than promotes learning.
When a child is being hit, it is not possible to focus on what was
wrong and on ways to do better. Instead, the child who is being hit
is busy feeling fear, pain, resentment, and humiliation. Since
their energy is being used to understand and cope with these
feelings it cannot be expended on ways to fulfill the parents
instructions. Physical punishment cannot be used on children in
care. 12 Kinship Orientation Training Alberta 2014
Slide 13
Understanding How Children Think and Feel the adult is
responsible for considering the big picture expectations, childs
skills and abilities, how the child learns best, the childs stress
and insecurities, and the childs previous experiences success is
challenged when our expectations do not match our childrens
abilities Kinship Orientation Training Alberta 2014
Slide 14
Understanding How Children Think and Feel contd it is sometimes
easy to believe the child is being intentionally bad this may be
very short-sighted when we see the world through the eyes of a
child we can begin to understand the real reasons for their
behaviour Kinship Orientation Training Alberta 2014
Slide 15
Imagine car seat is uncomfortable needs to be readjusted not
dressed for the weather afraid of the appointment needs to pee
doesnt think he has to listen you missed breakfast tired lonely or
sad missing his parents, friends feeling sick Kinship Orientation
Training Alberta 2014 Youre hurrying out the door to an appointment
and your 3 year old is refusing to get in the car seat. What might
he be thinking and feeling?
Slide 16
Imagine Your 9 year old is acting out a lot lately and now you
have found out he deliberately didnt tell you about a meeting with
the teacher last night. What might he be thinking and feeling? in
trouble at school being bullied at school afraid you will give him
up missing his regular school may have learning difficulties
missing his family or friends he may be afraid of your reaction
based on experience with other adults Kinship Orientation Training
Alberta 2014
Slide 17
Imagine Your 14 year old wants you to extend curfew to 11:00
p.m. on weekends. You have resisted because you are afraid it will
lead to getting in trouble. Tonight she was due back at 10:00 but
is already an hour late. What might she be thinking and feeling?
first issue is we dont even know it was deliberate but that is
often our first assumption could be a power play - showing she can
stay out late and not get in trouble missed bus trying to establish
her independence conflict with parents rules and your rules Kinship
Orientation Training Alberta 2014
Slide 18
Problem Solving Including the child in the discussion about
what to do teaches them to: collaborate compromise see the
relationship between the rules and the consequences learn there are
always multiple ways of responding to problems Kinship Orientation
Training Alberta 2014
Slide 19
Parenting Plus 19 Kinship Orientation Training Alberta
2014
Slide 20
Why does he do that?? There are many reasons for a childs
behaviours and some children will need assessments and support from
professionals. Some reasons may include: temperament personality
differences prenatal exposure to alcohol or drugs exposure to
family violence trauma from emotional, physical, or sexual abuse or
neglect attachment or grief and loss 20 Kinship Orientation
Training Alberta 2014
Slide 21
Behaviours Underlying Emotional Problems 21
Slide 22
When is a behaviour a concern? What behaviours are the hardest
for you to deal with? they can all be normal at various
developmental stages they may be of concern when the behaviours are
frequent are severe interfering with daily life dont improve as the
child ages dont respond to a nurturing supportive environment
resistant to change 22 Kinship Orientation Training Alberta
2014
Slide 23
Our Reaction we may take it personally we feel the child is
deliberately acting out we feel the child challenging our authority
we feel overwhelmed we may yell, punish we may push the child away
emotionally 23 Kinship Orientation Training Alberta 2014
Slide 24
Temperament whats it all about? Temperament describes how we
approach and react to the world. it is our personality we are born
with our temperament temperament is not right or wrong Kinship
Orientation Training Alberta 2014 24
Slide 25
Temperament - contd our temperament may change slightly from
one situation or environment to another we can learn to adapt to
different situations as we mature temperament can be impacted by
trauma we cannot deliberately change another persons temperament
Kinship Orientation Training Alberta 2014 25
Slide 26
Aspects of Temperament AspectLow levelHigh level Activity
Levellikes to be quiet and calm likes to be on the go Response to
new shy and/or anxiousloves new experiences/people Adaptability to
change needs warning of changed plans goes with the flow
Distractibilityable to focus for a long time needs to change
activities frequently Persistenceloses interest quicklysees things
through until they are completed Intensityunexpressive emotionally
extremely expressive Kinship Orientation Training Alberta 2014
26
Slide 27
Prenatal Exposure to Alcohol or Drugs Kinship Orientation
Training Alberta 2014
Slide 28
FASD: Whose Fault is it? FASD is a diagnosis for two Mom and
child. Admitting that I drank while I was pregnant can be too hard
to bear. Maybe I cant admit itnot yet. Let it go. Forget about
fault, its in the past now; Dont blame yourself; Dont blame the
childs mother; Dont blame the child its not that they wont behave,
its that they cant. Remember the child comes first. Thats why were
here. Kinship Orientation Training Alberta 2014
Slide 29
FASD UMBRELLA FAS - Fetal Alcohol Syndrome Full syndrome;
growth deficiency; classical facial features, significant
dysfunction. 29 Kinship Orientation Training Alberta 2014 PFAS -
Partial Fetal Alcohol Syndrome Does not portray all the physical
features but still has disability. ARND - Alcohol Related
Neurodevelopmental Disorder Significant brain dysfunction but no
physical defects. ARBD - Alcohol Related Birth Defect Development
of heart, kidney, eyes, and auditory system as well as brain
function are affected.
Slide 30
The FASD Brain Drinking alcohol while pregnant does physical
damage to the babys brain. Primary disabilities are a direct result
of the damage done to the brain Secondary characteristics can occur
because the person has FASD Kinship Orientation Training Alberta
2014
Slide 31
Primary Disabilities memory problems intellectually impaired
issues with fine and gross motor skills language delays and
deficits impaired social and emotional development 31 DRAFT Kinship
Orientation Training Alberta 2014 impaired executive functioning
(day to day functioning) problems with attention and/or learning
behaviour regulation challenges sensory impairments
Slide 32
Secondary Characteristics mental health issues substance abuse
trouble with the law dependent living or homelessness 32 Kinship
Orientation Training Alberta 2014 disrupted school experience
inappropriate sexual behaviour problems with employment This is the
area where positive caregiving can potentially influence
outcomes.
Slide 33
Parenting the Child with FASD give one instruction at a time
use lists and pictures to help the child be organized prepare the
child for changes have consistent routines use simple rules that
are concrete limit choices to two keep them simple watch for signs
the child is tired or frustrated and intervene Kinship Orientation
Training Alberta 2014
Slide 34
Parenting the Child with FASD contd decide what is most
important and focus time and energy on that use the when/then rule
-- when you clean up then you can watch TV expect to teach the same
things many times talk about them, demonstrate them, help the child
do them, etc. avoid overstimulation set realistic expectations
based on ability not age Kinship Orientation Training Alberta
2014
Slide 35
Impact of Drug Exposure Depends on the drugs used: withdrawal
low birth weight prematurity delayed speech and motor skills
sensory impairments possible long term developmental effects
problems with attention, hyperactivity, and mood control Kinship
Orientation Training Alberta 2014
Slide 36
Exposure to Family Violence Kinship Orientation Training
Alberta 2014
Slide 37
Exposure to Family Violence prenatally, the brain structure is
altered by the Cortisol production of the mother Cortisol is
produced when the person is stressed and is more damaging to the
developing brain than is alcohol families typically are isolated
from helpful social support 37 Kinship Orientation Training Alberta
2014 37
Slide 38
Impact of Exposure to Family Violence skills may regress when
exposure begins at risk for bullying or being bullied school issues
- problems learning or become the perfectionist parentified child
takes responsibility for younger siblings unhealthy expression of
anger mental health issues anxiety, depression are common as the
child ages stress related health issues often continue through life
at risk for unhealthy coping as teens alcohol/drugs, gangs Kinship
Orientation Training Alberta 2014 38
Slide 39
39 Kinship Orientation Training Alberta 2014 First
Impressions
Slide 40
Keep in Mind all children in care have faced challenges and
some may have had little support from their parents they may have
learned that adults are not to be trusted our expectations may be
totally unlike those of their parents and we cannot assume they
know our expectations punishment pushes the child away without
discussion of how they are feeling what are they thinking? 40
Kinship Orientation Training Alberta 2014
Slide 41
Effect of Abuse & Neglect on the Brain Kinship Orientation
Training Alberta 2014
Slide 42
The Amazing Brain! Sophisticated Social - Emotional Safety
Sensory (Doesnt look like this at all) Brain Facts: Develops from
bottom to top 90% of the size of the adult brain by age of three
Brains have sensitive periods Brains start pruning during
adolescence The brain has plasticity Brains arent finished
developing until the mid-twenties (It looks like this:) Kinship
Orientation Training Alberta 2014
Slide 43
What Happens in the Brain Sophisticated Social - Emotional
Safety Sensory Blood pressure Heart rate Body temperature Sleep
Appetite Arousal Attachments/Relationships Emotional reactivity
Large/fine motor skills Reward Logical thinking Planning
Socialization/affiliation Kinship Orientation Training Alberta
2014
Slide 44
Repeated exposure to abuse: I WILL SURVIVE Sophisticated Social
- Emotional Safety Sensory TERROR ALARM FEAR ALERT CALM Kinship
Orientation Training Alberta 2014
Slide 45
EXERCISE: Where are you? CALM ALERT ALARMFEAR TERROR Kinship
Orientation Training Alberta 2014
Slide 46
Helping the Child with their Trauma Regulate Calm voices, calm
touch, sensory items Regulate Walking, swinging, rocking Relate
Side by side and one-on-one Reason Problem-solving and self-talk
Kinship Orientation Training Alberta 2014
Slide 47
Neglect and Children Neglect can occur in a variety of ways:
not enough food, clothing or shelter not keeping the child safe
enough not meeting their emotional needs not meeting their
cognitive needs not meeting their social needs There is a lot that
goes into creating a healthy person! Kinship Orientation Training
Alberta 2014
Slide 48
Neglect and the Brain Kinship Orientation Training Alberta
2014
Slide 49
Helping the Neglected Child nutrition is very important
routine, rules and boundaries good sleep habits lots of positive
attention rich environment reading to the child, listening to
calming music limit TV and video games involvement in outdoor
activities recreation swimming, biking, (non-competitive) Kinship
Orientation Training Alberta 2014
Slide 50
Recommended Training Safe Babies Caring for Prenatally Exposed
Infants; Working with ADD, ADHD, ODD and other Diagnoses;
Understanding FASD, Child Sexual Abuse, etc. Parenting Our Special
Needs Children; Parenting Tool Box; Goals of Misbehaviour, etc.
Courses on Maintaining a Childs Culture Contact your kinship worker
about the Core Caregiver training available in your area. Kinship
Orientation Training Alberta 2014
Slide 51
The Goal of the Kinship Parent To provide a child with a safe,
nurturing environment where she can experience physical and
emotional growth and a feeling of security and self-esteem. 51
Kinship Orientation Training Alberta 2014
Slide 52
Building the Childs Tool Kit Resilience - the ability to
survive and thrive despite experiencing trauma. Self-confidence - a
feeling of trust in one's abilities, qualities, and judgment.
Security trust, safety, dependable, reliable. Attachment builds
strong emotional bonds with others. Kinship Orientation Training
Alberta 2014
Slide 53
Resiliency Children need your help developing these seven
qualities of resilience: 1. relationships with healthy adult role
models 2. self-confidence 3. feeling in control of their lives 4.
problem solving skills solve problems 5. equal opportunities for
success 6. safe places to sleep, healthy food, clothing and more 7.
a feeling of belonging within their community Kinship Orientation
Training Alberta 2014
Slide 54
Self-Confidence Fear defeats more people than any other one
thing in the world. Ralph Waldo Emerson help the child try new
things without fear of failure or making a error role model how you
react when a mistake is made be specific in talking about their
strengths avoid you are a good boy instead try you are so helpful
when you make your bed you are so kind when you share your toys
Kinship Orientation Training Alberta 2014
Slide 55
Security dont assume their trust plan to earn it keep your
promises be consistent discuss rules/expectations that may be
different than at home keep them informed in an age appropriate way
avoid surprises when it directly affects their life be honest
Kinship Orientation Training Alberta 2014
Slide 56
Attachment attachment is critical to healthy child development
having a warm, trusting relationship with an adult predicts future
healthy relationships throughout the childs life attachment begins
at birth lack of attachment will require the caregiver establish
trust through consistent, loving parenting trust must be earned in
the new relationship with the child 56 Kinship Orientation Training
Alberta 2014
Slide 57
The Arousal-Relaxation Cycle Kinship Orientation Training
Alberta 2014 57 Relaxation Need Displeasure TrustSecurityAttachment
Needs Satisfied 57
Slide 58
Positive Interaction Cycle Kinship Orientation Training Alberta
2014 58
Slide 59
Child Intervention Services (the System) Kinship Orientation
Training Alberta 2014
Slide 60
Myths and Facts - Criteria MythFact Being a kinship care
provider has stricter rules and requirements than a foster or
adoptive home. While there are rules and requirements in place to
make sure the children are safe, the requirements are the same as
for foster and adoptive homes. An individual is not eligible to be
a kinship caregiver if they have a criminal record or if they have
a child intervention history. Each applicant is assessed on an
individual basis and applicants should not rule themselves out
before applying. A kinship caregiver must provide a bedroom for
each child or youth in their home. Expectations are reasonable and
focus on the importance of each child having his or her own bed but
not their own room. Kinship Orientation Training Alberta 2014
Slide 61
Myths and Facts contd MythFact Kinship caregivers must maintain
a spotless home, free from clutter and mess. Homes that house
children are full of activity which can lead to disorder. While it
is necessary to maintain a cleanly home, we know busy, happy
children dont worry if the laundry isnt put away. Kinship
caregivers must be employed. Kinship caregivers do not differ from
other Alberta families. Sometimes both parents are employed,
sometimes one parent is employed, and sometimes parents rely on
other sources of income. What is important is that kinship care
should not be considered as a source of income and caregivers must
have the ability to provide for the needs of their family. Kinship
Orientation Training Alberta 2014
Slide 62
Myths and Facts contd MythFact The sexual orientation of
kinship caregivers is a consideration. The most important factor to
consider when making a placement is meeting the needs of the child
or youth. Any home where the child will be safe, supported, and
cared for will be considered in the application process. Kinship
caregivers are not eligible to access relief/respite supports.
Relief/respite care is available to assist kinship caregivers. As
part of a team, kinship caregivers are supported to take a break
when necessary. Kinship care support workers, along with
caseworkers will assist caregivers in accessing respite care.
Kinship Orientation Training Alberta 2014
Slide 63
Supports Children in care receive therapeutic supports,
education supports and recreation funds as well as vacation/camp
allowances. Childs parents receive therapeutic supports, for
example, family support, parenting support, etc. Kinship caregivers
receive basic maintenance, child care (babysitting, relief), start
up and ongoing supports, & supports to attend training. A
Kinship Care Support Plan is negotiated to provide the supports and
services kinship caregivers need. Kinship Orientation Training
Alberta 2014
Slide 64
Who Can You Call for Support? Kinship Care Support Worker
Childs Caseworker or Casework Supervisor Alberta Foster Parent
Association Other Kinship families Office of the Child and Youth
Advocate, to advocate for the child Kinship Orientation Training
Alberta 2014
Slide 65
Next Steps Review the Kinship Care Guidebook for Caregivers
with your kinship support worker. Consider the supports your family
will need to provide good care for the child and advocate for your
child. Dont forget to ask for help if you need it. Thank you for
becoming a kinship caregiver!! Kinship Orientation Training Alberta
2014