WELCOME

Dealing with Lying and Stealing

Center for Development of Human Services Buffalo State College

Under contract with NYS Office of Children & Family Services

Approved by the New York State Office of Children and Family Services 2010, through a training and administrative agreement with the Research Foundation for SUNY/BSC/CDHS

Expectations

Approved by the New York State Office of Children and Family Services 2010, through a training and administrative agreement with the Research Foundation for SUNY/BSC/CDHS

Outcomes

Clarify values regarding lying and stealing Identify reasons children lie and/or steal Respond appropriately to children who lie

and/or steal Make plans to prevent lying and stealing

behaviors

Approved by the New York State Office of Children and Family Services 2010, through a training and administrative agreement with the Research Foundation for SUNY/BSC/CDHS

To Tell the Truth…

Warm-upApproved by the New York State Office of Children and Family Services 2010, through a training

and administrative agreement with the Research Foundation for SUNY/BSC/CDHS

Definition:

Lying Making an untrue statement with intent to

deceive Creating a false or misleading impression

Approved by the New York State Office of Children and Family Services 20107, through a training and administrative agreement with the Research Foundation for SUNY/BSC/CDHS

Reasons Adults Become Upset :

Approved by the New York State Office of Children and Family Services 2010, through a training and administrative agreement with the Research Foundation for SUNY/BSC/CDHS

Typical Reactions to Lying & Stealing

Approved by the New York State Office of Children and Family Services 2010, through a training and administrative agreement with the Research Foundation for SUNY/BSC/CDHS

The Best Lie Ever Told…

By a politician In an advertisement To a police officer for speeding By a child in care By someone in this group

Approved by the New York State Office of Children and Family Services 2010, through a training and administrative agreement with the Research Foundation for SUNY/BSC/CDHS

Reasons People Lie and/or Steal

Approved by the New York State Office of Children and Family Services 2010, through a training

and administrative agreement with the Research Foundation for SUNY/BSC/CDHS

Cycle of Need

EXPRESSION

RESPONSE

NEED

RELAXATION

Approved by the New York State Office of Children and Family Services 2010, through a training and administrative agreement with the Research Foundation for SUNY/BSC/CDHS

Cycle of Mistrust

EXPRESSION

RESPONSE

NEED

DISTRESS

Approved by the New York State Office of Children and Family Services 2010, through a training and administrative agreement with the Research Foundation for SUNY/BSC/CDHS

Tricks, Lies and Parenting

“Your room is a mess. Turn off the TV now and go clean it up!”

Approved by the New York State Office of Children and Family Services 2010, through a training and administrative agreement with the Research Foundation for SUNY/BSC/CDHS

Did you clean your room?

Yep!

Liar! Don’t tell me you cleaned your room. I just

walked by and its still a pig pen! Why lie to me? I hate that!

Approved by the New York State Office of Children and Family Services 2010, through a training and administrative agreement with the Research Foundation for SUNY/BSC/CDHS

Where have you been?

At Jimmy’s.

No, you weren’t! I spoke with his mom

and she hasn’t seen you all day. You’re grounded! Don’t you EVER lie to me again!!

Approved by the New York State Office of Children and Family Services 2010, through a training

and administrative agreement with the Research Foundation for SUNY/BSC/CDHS

I need to have a talk with you.

Huh? About what?

Well, you said you were going to Jimmy’s and I know you didn’t. Its important to me to be able to trust you. What’s going on?

Approved by the New York State Office of Children and Family Services 2010, through a training and administrative agreement with the Research Foundation for SUNY/BSC/CDHS

It Takes a Thief

What did you take? What were the circumstances? What motivated you to take it? What did you gain? Who was affected by what you did? What did you feel before/ during/after? What were the consequences?

Approved by the New York State Office of Children and Family Services 2010, through a training and administrative agreement with the Research Foundation for SUNY/BSC/CDHS

PROS AND CONS OF STEALING

Approved by the New York State Office of Children and Family Services 2010, through a training and administrative agreement with the Research Foundation for SUNY/BSC/CDHS

Goals of Discipline

Complete the Cycle of Need Learn healthy ways to meet needs Feel good about relationships with others Build self-esteem

Approved by the New York State Office of Children and Family Services 2010, through a training and administrative agreement with the Research Foundation for SUNY/BSC/CDHS

Unregistered and want training credit?Before class ends, enter the following into (private) text chat to Matthew Fildes (in his absence, to the instructor):

Full legal nameMale or female

Home address (no P.O. boxes)Area code and phone number

Email address (2 on same computer must list 2 email addresses)

Foster care agency address (e.g., Harlem Dowling, Westside Center, 2090 7th Ave., NY, NY 10027)

Thank you.