WEDDING HANDBOOK

Zion Lutheran Church 319 South 5th Street, Albion, Nebraska 68620

Church: 402-395-2043 + office@zionalbion.org Senior Pastor: Rev. David Frerichs + pastordavid@zionalbion.org

Associate Pastor: Rev. Meg Sander + pastormeg@zionalbion.org

Revised 3/17/2017

WHAT WE BELIEVE ABOUT MARRIAGE

Marriage is more than just a ceremony, more than just the wedding day. We believe that the wedding worship service is only just the beginning of your married life. It is the day that you commit before God and all the people who care about you and love you that you will be faithful to your partner and do whatever it takes to make your marriage work. It is a time of promises that even when things are not perfect you will work hard, rely on God, trust each other, and seek out the resources you need to be successful. No longer is your relationship conditional. Now it becomes unconditionally about the other person. Because we take this so seriously, and because it’s such a big deal, we’ve provided this handbook to help you plan for your wedding and lifelong marriage.

PRE-MARRIAGE PREPARATION

We believe that pre-marital counseling is a vital part of getting married. The point of pre-marital counseling is not to decide whether a couple is fit to be married, but rather to help equip them with the tools to build a stronger marriage.

It is important for you to arrange with the pastor to start this process at least three months in advance. The marr iage preparation involves 3 parts: completing an assessment, meeting with the pastor to talk about your relationship, and planning your wedding worship service.

PREPARE-ENRICH ASSESSMENT The assessment is taken online and is tailored to your relationship. With the e-mail address you provide, the pastor will set up your assessment online and you’ll each receive an e-mail from “PREPARE-ENRICH” with the web address of your assessment and a code to log in. Each partner will take the same assessment. However, the assessment should not be done together. Do not consult your partner for answers because each person’s perspective on the relationship is important. It is not a test, but will be a guide for our conversations.

Whichever partner completes the assessment first will be prompted to pay online by credit card. The cost is $35 and only covers the cost of the assessment. If you question the value of the assessment, please consider how much you’ll spend on the rest

2

of your wedding and the benefit it will bring to your marriage long after the wedding is over. If you’d prefer to pay by cash or check to the church, please let the pastor know ahead of time.

MEETING WITH THE PASTOR Once you have completed the assessment, the pastor will contact you about setting up your first pre-marital counseling appointment. We’ll typically plan for 3 hour to hour and a half long sessions, with a fourth session to plan out your wedding worship service. In each session, we’ll discuss your relationship strengths and growth areas, and talk about strategies for strengthening your marriage. After each session, you’ll have a small amount of homework to complete before your next session.

Marriage is not easy, so the pastor will ask some hard questions. It is really important that you are open and honest while taking the assessment and meeting with the pastor. Now is a good time to start the habit of open and honest conversation with your partner, because if you can’t do it now, there will be no impetus to start in the future.

By participating in pre-marital counseling, you’re demonstrating your commitment to building a strong marriage. Given that nearly half of today’s marriages end in divorce, it makes good sense to safeguard your relationship by investing in it.

AFTER YOU’RE MARRIED Even after your premarital counseling is finished and you’re well into your marriage, you are welcome back at any time to meet with the pastor or any other pastors for help sorting out your relationship. It is always easier to be proactive in addressing potential conflict than waiting until it balloons into an irreconcilable difference. We hope that participation in worship, the life of the church, devotional time together, and prayer will be part of your on-going care of your relationship.

3

YOUR WEDDING AT ZION LUTHERAN

A church wedding is, first of all, a worship service, in which we thank and praise God for calling a man and a woman together in marriage. It is also a time when we ask God to help you keep your promises to each other by filling you with His unconditional love, giving you the strength, patience, hope, forgiveness, and all the necessary tools it will take to fulfill those promises.

THE WEDDING COORDINATOR A wedding coordinator will be assigned to assist you with many details of your rehearsal and wedding. Your coordinator will be: ______________________________. She can be reached at: _________________ if you need to contact her. The coordinator is prepared to: 1. Assist the pastor as needed. 2. Assist the bride with last minute preparations. 3. Provide an “emergency kit”. 4. Assist with pinning corsages when needed 5. Direct entrance of the bridal party, giving cues when needed. 6. Cue a tape or CD as needed. 7. Organize the receiving line. 8. Collect witnesses to sign the license.

EMERGENCY KIT CONTENTS Corsage pins White thread Needles Pins Safety pins Hairpins Hair spray Sand paper Static Guard Emery board Aspirin Tylenol Ibuprofen Pepto-bismal Kleenex Cleanser Surgical gloves Paper towels Fingernail clipper Black socks Stocking - nylons Hankies - mens/women’s Fingernail polish remover Clear fingernail polish

CAPACITIES The church worship space will seat about 350-375 people. If you will have more guests and would like to have overflow seating in the fellowship hall with video of the service, please let the church secretary know at least one week in advance. The fellowship hall will seat about 250 people at tables.

4

SET-UP Please talk with the church secretary about when you can set-up for your wedding, including placing bows, runners, flowers, etc. Most often this can take place before or after the Friday rehearsal for Saturday weddings, but not all the time depending on the church schedule. Please also arrange what time you will need the church unlocked on the morning of your wedding.

FLOWERS Fresh flowers should be the choice for altar flowers. If you would like to have the altar flowers used for the worship service following the wedding, notify the church secretary.

CANDLES Two altar candles are on the altar. Two 7-candle candelabra are in the chancel on either side of the altar. A unity candle holder is available, but you will need to provide your own unity candles.

PARAMENTS (banners hanging on the altar, pulpit and lectern) The paraments will be the color of the liturgical season and are not to be removed, folded or covered. Check with the pastor to find out what the color of the season will be. A special wedding banner will be placed at the back of the worship space.

THE KITCHEN Pam Wright (395-2532) and Roberta Seda (395-3371) are responsible for the kitchen at Zion. Please contact one of them if you will need to use the kitchen. All items placed in refrigerators and freezers must be removed at the end of your wedding/reception unless other arrangements are made with the ladies.

PHOTOGRAPHS No flash pictures are to be taken during the service. Please inform your families of this. We will communicate it to your wedding photographer.

VIDEO Personal or professional video cameras may be set up in a way that does not distract from the service. If they are placed in the front of the church, they must be unattended so that they do not distract from the wedding service. Either balcony can be opened for videographers who wish to operate cameras from those positions. Our church has two high-quality video cameras (one in the back, and one by the south balcony) and has the ability to

5

record your wedding on a DVD. If you would like the church to record the wedding on this system, please contact the church secretary at least a month prior to your wedding so we can arrange for a trained member to be at your wedding. Please keep in mind that an additional gift to the videographer or the church would be appropriate. Our members are skilled, but they are not professionals, so there can be no quality guarantee on the video.

VISITING CLERGY Other clergy are welcome to participate as deemed appropriate by the pastor of Zion. Please consult with the pastor.

CLEAN-UP Our janitor cleans the church before for your wedding and will clean up afterwards. Fees listed below include the janitor fee. However, you are responsible for any “large” items left from your wedding (e.g. flowers, bows, runners, unity candle/sand, etc.). They should be removed immediately after your guests have left. It’s best to assign a few people to collect these items (not a parent or bridal party member--often aunts or cousins).

GIFTS AND FEES - Organist: $100 recommended - please pay at the rehearsal - Vocalist: $50 recommended - please pay at the rehearsal

(These are suggested fees. Do not hesitate to ask them if that amount is sufficient, especially if extra music or practice is required. Do not assume that friends or relatives will do it for nothing.)

- Church and fellowship hall use: Make checks payable to Zion Lutheran Church. Members: $50 janitor fee (An additional donation to help pay for utilities is appreciated.) Non-members: $150

- Pastor: The average honorar ium for non-members is $200. Members may choose their own honorarium.

Please consider that the pastor will spend well over 20 hours in pre-marital counseling, preparation, rehearsal, and the wedding.

DATES Talk to the pastor and set the date and time for your wedding as soon as possible. Please keep in mind that the pastor may not be available on the date you’d like. Church events have priority in scheduling. No weddings may be scheduled during Holy Week.

6

THE MARRIAGE LICENSE

Apply for a marriage license at the Office of the Clerk of Court in any county seat court house in the state of Nebraska. Boone County guidelines for a Nebraska marriage license: 1. Both applicants must be at least 17 years of age. In the State of

Nebraska you can not marry if you are under 17. 2. Parental consent is required for applicants who are under age

19. The parental consent forms are available at the County Clerk’s office.

3. Both applicants must supply a form of photo identification (Example: Drivers license or passport).

4. Will need to know the birthplace of both the bride and groom. 5. Will need to know both parents full names, mother’s maiden

name, and birthplaces. 6. The bride or groom must provide their Social Security

Numbers, if they have one. 7. If either applicant has a previous marriage, you will need to

know the date the marriage ended. (Date of divorce decree or date of death.)

8. There are no blood tests required in the State of Nebraska. 9. Marriage licenses are good for one (1) year from the date of

issuance. 10. The applicants may apply for their marriage license in any

county in Nebraska and use it to be married in any County in Nebraska.

11. The fee to receive a marriage license is $25.00.

Apply for your license well-ahead of your wedding day. Be sure to give the marriage license to the pastor before or at the rehearsal. Immediately following the wedding ceremony, two of the attendants will be asked to sign the license (there is no minimum age requirement).

THE REHEARSAL

Because there are a lot of details involved, we will map out the wedding service during our last counseling session. However, changes can still be made between that time and the rehearsal. If decisions or changes need to be made at the rehearsal, the pastor will look to the bride and groom, not parents or friends, to make final decisions. The pastor has the final word concerning what is appropriate for the service. See the next section for what you’ll be asked to decide.

7

The bride and groom should tell everyone involved in the wedding the starting time for the rehearsal. Ask them to be on time, and set a good example yourselves. If someone cannot be present, have a “stand-in” who will personally explain their responsibilities to them. The rehearsal is a time to work out the confusion and tension that could otherwise complicate a wedding.

If you plan to have a dinner after the rehearsal, please keep in mind that the rehearsal will take about an hour (once everyone is there). Be sure to personally invite everyone you want to attend.

THE WEDDING CEREMONY

There are many possibilities and options to work through with the pastor. Feel free to be creative. Whatever service is used, remember that this is worship of God, not worship of one another or of romance. Below are some ideas and questions to help you think through the wedding ceremony. The pastor will help you think through them.

GENERIC ORDER OF SERVICE Lighting of Candles

Processional Greeting

Opening Prayer Declaration of Intention

Scripture Sermon

Marriage Vows Exchange of Rings

Lighting of the Unity Candle / Unity Sand Marriage Blessing Wedding Prayers

Lord’s Prayer Announcement

Blessing Recessional

BULLETIN RECOMMENDATIONS: - Wedding bulletins make it possible to outline the service and list

the attendants and other people participating in your wedding. - You may make your own or talk to the church secretary about

composing and/or printing them for you.

8

- Make sure you have extra bulletins. Many people like to keep their bulletin, plus extras as souvenirs.

- If you will be living away from Albion, you may want to print your new address on the worship folder. Be sure to include your e-mail address, if you have one.

LIST THE FOLLOWING PEOPLE IN YOUR WEDDING: Pastor Organist and soloists Parents of Bride Parents of Groom Grandparents Great-grandparents Maid/Matron of Honor Best Man Bridesmaids Groomsmen Flower Girl Host and Hostess Ring Bearer Waiters/Waitresses Ushers Candle Lighters Personal Attendants Guest Book Attendants Not all the people/positions listed are included in every wedding. Use official given names. (example: Steven rather than Steve) Programs often list how these people are related to the couple.

GETTING READY - What time should everyone be at the church and dressed? - Will there be pictures before or after the service? When should

the photographer start taking pictures? Do you have someone to get the right people together for each picture?

ENTERING - Guests should be seated equally on either side of the sanctuary. - What time will candles be lighted and who will light them? - Will there be an aisle runner for the bride? When will it be

unrolled? - How will the wedding party enter? Will the groomsmen wait up

front while the bridesmaids enter, or will they come in together from the back? Who will stand where?

FLOWER GIRL / RING BEARER The flower girl and ring bearer should be at least five years old or older if you plan for them to stand with you up front, OR their parents should sit in the front making it possible for younger children to sit with them following the processional. They must be at the rehearsal. You will also have to decide if you want the ring bearer to carry the real rings or fake ones. If they carry the real ones, they should be tied on with a knot not easily untied.

9

The best man should have a scissors with him to cut them off (so he doesn’t have to fumble with a knot in the front of the church).

OPTIONAL PROMISES Would you like to include one of the following promises to be included after the declaration of intention at the beginning of the wedding rite: Will you, the friends and family of name and name , support and care for them, sustain and pray for them in times of trouble, give thanks with them in times of joy, honor the bonds of their covenant, and affirm the love of God reflected in their life together? We will.

SCRIPTURE READER If you would like someone other than the pastor to read the scripture (a special friend or relative), please notify the pastor.

SCRIPTURE POSSIBILITIES FOR YOUR WEDDING All scripture below from the New Revised Standard Version. Please let the pastor know if you prefer a different version.

Genesis 1:26-31 W oman and man created in God's image Then God said, "Let us make humankind in our image, according to our likeness; and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the wild animals of the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps upon the earth."

27

So God created humankind in his image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.

28 God blessed them,

and God said to them, "Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth and subdue it; and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the air and over every living thing that moves upon the earth."

29 God

said, "See, I have given you every plant yielding seed that is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree with seed in its fruit; you shall have them for food.

30 And to every beast of the earth, and to every bird of

the air, and to everything that creeps on the earth, everything that has the breath of life, I have given every green plant for food." And it was so.

31 God saw everything that he had made, and indeed, it was very

good. And there was evening and there was morning, the sixth day.

Genesis 2:18-24 Companionship rather than loneliness Then the LORD God said, "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper as his partner."

19 So out of the ground the

LORD God formed every animal of the field and every bird of the air, and brought them to the man to see what he would call them; and whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name.

20 The

man gave names to all cattle, and to the birds of the air, and to every animal of the field; but for the man there was not found a helper as his

10

partner. 21

So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then he took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh.

22 And the rib that the LORD God had taken from the man he

made into a woman and brought her to the man. 23

Then the man said, "This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; this one shall be called Woman, for out of Man this one was taken."

24 Therefore a man

leaves his father and his mother and clings to his wife, and they become one flesh.

Proverbs 3:3-6 Loyalty and faithfulness written on the heart Do not let loyalty and faithfulness forsake you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart.

4 So you will find favor and

good repute in the sight of God and of people. 5 Trust in the LORD with

all your heart, and do not rely on your own insight. 6 In all your ways

acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.

Psalm 33 Our hope and love are in the Lord Rejoice in the LORD, O you righteous. Praise befits the upright.

2

Praise the LORD with the lyre; make melody to him with the harp of ten strings.

3 Sing to him a new song; play skillfully on the strings, with loud

shouts. 4 For the word of the LORD is upright, and all his work is done

in faithfulness. 5 He loves righteousness and justice; the earth is full of

the steadfast love of the LORD. 6 By the word of the LORD the

heavens were made, and all their host by the breath of his mouth. 7 He gathered the waters of the sea as in a bottle; he put the deeps in storehouses.

8 Let all the earth fear the LORD; let all the inhabitants of

the world stand in awe of him. 9 For he spoke, and it came to be; he

commanded, and it stood firm. 10

The LORD brings the counsel of the nations to nothing; he frustrates the plans of the peoples.

11 The

counsel of the LORD stands forever, the thoughts of his heart to all generations.

12 Happy is the nation whose God is the LORD, the

people whom he has chosen as his heritage. 13

The LORD looks down from heaven; he sees all humankind.

14 From where he sits enthroned

he watches all the inhabitants of the earth-- 15

he who fashions the hearts of them all, and observes all their deeds. 16 A king is not saved by his great army; a warrior is not delivered by his great strength.

17

The war horse is a vain hope for victory, and by its great might it cannot save.

18 Truly the eye of the LORD is on those who fear him, on those

who hope in his steadfast love, 19

to deliver their soul from death, and to keep them alive in famine.

20 Our soul waits for the LORD; he is our

help and shield. 21

Our heart is glad in him, because we trust in his holy name.

22 Let your steadfast love, O LORD, be upon us, even as we

hope in you.

11

Psalm 67 May God be merciful to us and bless us. May God be gracious to us and bless us and make his face to shine upon us,

2 that your way may be known upon earth, your saving power

among all nations. 3 Let the peoples praise you, O God; let all the

peoples praise you. 4 Let the nations be glad and sing for joy, for you

judge the peoples with equity and guide the nations upon earth. 5 Let the

peoples praise you, O God; let all the peoples praise you. 6 The earth

has yielded its increase; God, our God, has blessed us. 7 May God

continue to bless us; let all the ends of the earth revere him.

Psalm 100 W e are God’s people and the sheep of God’s pasture. Make a joyful noise to the LORD, all the earth.

2 Worship the LORD with

gladness; come into his presence with singing. 3 Know that the LORD is

God. It is he that made us, and we are his; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture.

4 Enter his gates with thanksgiving, and his courts

with praise. Give thanks to him, bless his name. 5 For the LORD is

good; his steadfast love endures forever, and his faithfulness to all generations.

Psalm 117 The faithfulness of the LORD endures forever. Praise the LORD, all you nations! Extol him, all you peoples!

2 For great

is his steadfast love toward us, and the faithfulness of the LORD endures forever. Praise the LORD!

Psalm 121 The LORD watches over you and will keep your life. I lift up my eyes to the hills-- from where will my help come?

2 My help

comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth. 3 He will not let

your foot be moved; he who keeps you will not slumber. 4 He who

keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. 5 The LORD is your keeper;

the LORD is your shade at your right hand. 6 The sun shall not strike

you by day, nor the moon by night. 7 The LORD will keep you from all

evil; he will keep your life. 8 The LORD will keep your going out and

your coming in from this time on and forevermore.

Psalm 127 May the LORD build the house and watch over the city. Unless the LORD builds the house, those who build it labor in vain. Unless the LORD guards the city, the guard keeps watch in vain.

2 It is

in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives sleep to his beloved.

3 Sons are indeed a

heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward. 4 Like arrows in

the hand of a warrior are the sons of one's youth. 5 Happy is the man

who has his quiver full of them. He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.

Psalm 128 Happy are they who follow in the ways of God. Happy is everyone who fears the LORD, who walks in his ways. 2 You shall eat the fruit of the labor of your hands; you shall be happy, and it shall go well with you.

3 Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your

house; your children will be like olive shoots around your table. 4 Thus

12

shall the man be blessed who fears the LORD. 5 The LORD bless you

from Zion. May you see the prosperity of Jerusalem all the days of your life.

6 May you see your children's children. Peace be upon Israel!

Psalm 150 Let everything that has breath praise the LORD. Praise the LORD! Praise God in his sanctuary; praise him in his mighty firmament!

2 Praise him for his mighty deeds; praise him according to

his surpassing greatness! 3 Praise him with trumpet sound; praise him

with lute and harp! 4 Praise him with tambourine and dance; praise him

with strings and pipe! 5 Praise him with clanging cymbals; praise him

with loud clashing cymbals! 6 Let everything that breathes praise the

LORD! Praise the LORD!

Song of Songs 8:7 Many waters cannot quench love 7 Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it. If one

offered for love all the wealth of his house, it would be utterly scorned.

Song of Songs 2:10-13 The voice of the beloved 10

My beloved speaks and says to me: "Arise, my love, my fair one, and come away;

11 for now the winter is past, the rain is over and gone.

12

The flowers appear on the earth; the time of singing has come, and the voice of the turtledove is heard in our land.

13 The fig tree puts forth its

figs, and the vines are in blossom; they give forth fragrance. Arise, my love, my fair one, and come away.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 A threefold cord is not easily broken Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. 10

For if they fall, one will lift up the other; but woe to one who is alone and falls and does not have another to help.

11 Again, if two lie together,

they keep warm; but how can one keep warm alone? 12

And though one might prevail against another, two will withstand one. A threefold cord is not quickly broken.

Isaiah 63:7-9 God's steadfast love lifts up the people I will recount the gracious deeds of the LORD, the praiseworthy acts of the LORD, because of all that the LORD has done for us, and the great favor to the house of Israel that he has shown them according to his mercy, according to the abundance of his steadfast love.

8 For he said,

"Surely they are my people, children who will not deal falsely"; and he became their savior

9 in all their distress. It was no messenger or angel

but his presence that saved them; in his love and in his pity he redeemed them; he lifted them up and carried them all the days of old.

13

14

Jeremiah 31:31-34 The new covenant of the people of God The days are surely coming, says the LORD, when I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel and the house of Judah.

32 It will not

be like the covenant that I made with their ancestors when I took them by the hand to bring them out of the land of Egypt-- a covenant that they broke, though I was their husband, says the LORD.

33 But this is

the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel after those days, says the LORD: I will put my law within them, and I will write it on their hearts; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.

34 No

longer shall they teach one another, or say to each other, "Know the LORD," for they shall all know me, from the least of them to the greatest, says the LORD; for I will forgive their iniquity, and remember their sin no more.

Matthew 5:1-10 The Beatitudes When Jesus saw the crowds, he went up the mountain; and after he sat down, his disciples came to him.

2 Then he began to speak, and taught

them, saying: 3 "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom

of heaven. 4 "Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

5 "Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.

6 "Blessed are

those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. 7

"Blessed are the merciful, for they will receive mercy. 8 "Blessed are the

pure in heart, for they will see God. 9 "Blessed are the peacemakers, for

they will be called children of God. 10

"Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness' sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Matthew 5:14-16 Y ou are the light, let your light shine Jesus said: "You are the light of the world. A city built on a hill cannot be hid.

15 No one after lighting a lamp puts it under the bushel basket,

but on the lampstand, and it gives light to all in the house. 16

In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father in heaven.

Matthew 7:24-27 Build on the rock Jesus said: "Everyone then who hears these words of mine and acts on them will be like a wise man who built his house on rock.

25 The rain

fell, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on rock.

26 And everyone who

hears these words of mine and does not act on them will be like a foolish man who built his house on sand.

27 The rain fell, and the floods

came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell-- and great was its fall!"

Matthew 19:3-6 W hat God has united must not be divided Some Pharisees came to Jesus, and to test him they asked, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any cause?"

4 He answered, "Have you

not read that the one who made them at the beginning 'made them male and female,'

5 and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his

father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'?

6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what

God has joined together, let no one separate."

Matthew 22:35-40 Love, the greatest commandment A lawyer, asked Jesus a question to test him.

36 "Teacher, which

commandment in the law is the greatest?" 37

He said to him, "'You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.'

38 This is the greatest and first commandment.

39

And a second is like it: 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' 40

On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets."

Mark 10:6-9 They are no longer two but one Jesus said: But from the beginning of creation, 'God made them male and female.'

7 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother

and be joined to his wife, 8 and the two shall become one flesh.' So they

are no longer two, but one flesh. 9 Therefore what God has joined

together, let no one separate."

John 2:1-11 The wedding at Cana On the third day there was a wedding in Cana of Galilee, and the mother of Jesus was there.

2 Jesus and his disciples had also been

invited to the wedding. 3 When the wine gave out, the mother of Jesus

said to him, "They have no wine." 4 And Jesus said to her, "Woman,

what concern is that to you and to me? My hour has not yet come." 5

His mother said to the servants, "Do whatever he tells you." 6 Now

standing there were six stone water jars for the Jewish rites of purification, each holding twenty or thirty gallons.

7 Jesus said to them,

"Fill the jars with water." And they filled them up to the brim. 8 He said to

them, "Now draw some out, and take it to the chief steward." So they took it.

9 When the steward tasted the water that had become wine, and

did not know where it came from (though the servants who had drawn the water knew), the steward called the bridegroom

10 and said to him,

"Everyone serves the good wine first, and then the inferior wine after the guests have become drunk. But you have kept the good wine until now."

11 Jesus did this, the first of his signs, in Cana of Galilee, and

revealed his glory; and his disciples believed in him.

15

John 15:9-17 Love one another as I have loved you Jesus said: As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you; abide in my love.

10 If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love,

just as I have kept my Father's commandments and abide in his love. 11

I have said these things to you so that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be complete.

12 "This is my commandment, that you love

one another as I have loved you. 13

No one has greater love than this, to lay down one's life for one's friends.

14 You are my friends if you do

what I command you. 15

I do not call you servants any longer, because the servant does not know what the master is doing; but I have called you friends, because I have made known to you everything that I have heard from my Father.

16 You did not choose me but I chose you. And I

appointed you to go and bear fruit, fruit that will last, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask him in my name.

17 I am giving you these

commands so that you may love one another.

Romans 8:31-35, 37-39 If God is for us, who is against us? What then are we to say about these things? If God is for us, who is against us?

32 He who did not withhold his own Son, but gave him up

for all of us, will he not with him also give us everything else? 33

Who will bring any charge against God's elect? It is God who justifies.

34 Who

is to condemn? It is Christ Jesus, who died, yes, who was raised, who is at the right hand of God, who indeed intercedes for us.

35 Who will

separate us from the love of Christ? Will hardship, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? . . .

37 No, in

all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.

38 For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor

rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, 39

nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 12:1-2, 9-18 A living sacrifice and genuine love I appeal to you therefore, brothers and sisters, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. 2 Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds, so that you may discern what is the will of God-- what is good and acceptable and perfect . . . 9 Let love be genuine; hate what is evil, hold fast to what is good;

10 love

one another with mutual affection; outdo one another in showing honor. 11

Do not lag in zeal, be ardent in spirit, serve the Lord. 12

Rejoice in hope, be patient in suffering, persevere in prayer.

13 Contribute to the

needs of the saints; extend hospitality to strangers. 14

Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them.

15 Rejoice with those who

rejoice, weep with those who weep. 16

Live in harmony with one another; do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly; do not claim to be wiser than you are. 17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil, but take thought for what is noble in the sight of all.

18 If it is possible, so far as it

depends on you, live peaceably with all.

16

1 Corinthians 12:31-13:13 The greatest gift is love But strive for the greater gifts. And I will show you a still more excellent way.

1 If I speak in the tongues of mortals and of angels, but do not

have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 And if I have

prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.

3 If I give away all my possessions, and if I hand over my body

so that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing. 4 Love is

patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant 5 or rude.

It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does

not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. 7 It bears all things,

believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never

ends. But as for prophecies, they will come to an end; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will come to an end.

9 For we know

only in part, and we prophesy only in part; 10

but when the complete comes, the partial will come to an end.

11 When I was a child, I spoke

like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became an adult, I put an end to childish ways.

12 For now we see in a mirror,

dimly, but then we will see face to face. Now I know only in part; then I will know fully, even as I have been fully known.

13 And now faith, hope,

and love abide, these three; and the greatest of these is love.

Ephesians 3:14-19 The greatness of Christ's love For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, 15 from whom every family in heaven and on earth takes its name.

16 I pray that, according

to the riches of his glory, he may grant that you may be strengthened in your inner being with power through his Spirit,

17 and that Christ may

dwell in your hearts through faith, as you are being rooted and grounded in love.

18 I pray that you may have the power to comprehend,

with all the saints, what is the breadth and length and height and depth, 19

and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, so that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.

Ephesians 5:1-2 Live in love, as Christ loved us Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children, 2 and live in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

17

Ephesians 5:21-33 Be subject to and love one another Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ.

22 Wives, be subject

to your husbands as you are to the Lord. 23

For the husband is the head of the wife just as Christ is the head of the church, the body of which he is the Savior.

24 Just as the church is subject to Christ, so also wives ought

to be, in everything, to their husbands. 25

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,

26 in order to

make her holy by cleansing her with the washing of water by the word, 27

so as to present the church to himself in splendor, without a spot or wrinkle or anything of the kind-- yes, so that she may be holy and without blemish.

28 In the same way, husbands should love their wives as they do

their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hates his own body, but he nourishes and tenderly cares for it, just as Christ does for the church,

30 because we are members of his body.

31

"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh."

32 This is a great mystery,

and I am applying it to Christ and the church. 33

Each of you, however, should love his wife as himself, and a wife should respect her husband.

Philippians 4:4-9 Rejoice in the Lord always Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice.

5 Let your gentleness

be known to everyone. The Lord is near. 6 Do not worry about anything,

but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.

7 And the peace of God, which

surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

8 Finally, beloved, whatever is true, whatever is honorable,

whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is pleasing, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

9 Keep on doing the things that you have

learned and received and heard and seen in me, and the God of peace will be with you.

Colossians 3:12-17 Clothed in gifts of God As God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience. 13 Bear with one another and, if anyone has a complaint against another, forgive each other; just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.

14

Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.

15 And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to

which indeed you were called in the one body. And be thankful. 16

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly; teach and admonish one another in all wisdom; and with gratitude in your hearts sing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs to God.

17 And whatever you do, in word or deed, do

everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

18

1 John 3:18-24 Let us love in truth and action Little children, let us love, not in word or speech, but in truth and action. 19

And by this we will know that we are from the truth and will reassure our hearts before him

20 whenever our hearts condemn us; for God is

greater than our hearts, and he knows everything. 21

Beloved, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have boldness before God;

22 and we

receive from him whatever we ask, because we obey his commandments and do what pleases him.

23 And this is his

commandment, that we should believe in the name of his Son Jesus Christ and love one another, just as he has commanded us.

24 All who

obey his commandments abide in him, and he abides in them. And by this we know that he abides in us, by the Spirit that he has given us.

1 John 4:7-16 Let us love one another, for love is of God Beloved, let us love one another, because love is from God; everyone who loves is born of God and knows God.

8 Whoever does not love

does not know God, for God is love. 9 God's love was revealed among

us in this way: God sent his only Son into the world so that we might live through him.

10 In this is love, not that we loved God but that he

loved us and sent his Son to be the atoning sacrifice for our sins. 11

Beloved, since God loved us so much, we also ought to love one another.

12 No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God

lives in us, and his love is perfected in us. 13

By this we know that we abide in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit.

14 And

we have seen and do testify that the Father has sent his Son as the Savior of the world.

15 God abides in those who confess that Jesus is

the Son of God, and they abide in God. 16

So we have known and believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and those who abide in love abide in God, and God abides in them.

19

WEDDING VOWS OPTIONS You may choose one of the options below, or you may pick and choose lines you like from one or more, or you may start from scratch and write your own. When writing your own vows, consider the words of St. Paul in Ephesians 5:21-33, placing special emphasis on verse 21: “Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ.” Both should be willing to accept what is asked of the wife in Paul’s instructions, and both should be willing to accept what is asked of the husband. Whatever vows you choose or write, must be approved by the pastor, typed and given to him by the time of the rehearsal.

A. I take you name to be my wife/husband, from this day forward, to join with you and share all that is to come, and I promise to be faithful to you until death parts us.

B. I, name, take you, name, to be my wife/husband and these things I promise you: I will be faithful to you and honest with you; I will respect, trust, help, and care for you; I will share my life with you; I will forgive you as we have been forgiven; and I will try with you to better understand ourselves, the world, and God through the best and the worst of what is to come as long as we live.

C. I love you name, as I love no other. All that I am I share with you. I give myself to you from this time onward, to join with you and to share all that is to come, to give and to receive, to speak and to listen, to inspire and to respond, and in all circumstances of our life together to be loyal to you with my whole life and with all my being.

D. I name, take you name to be my wife/husband, from this day on, as long as I live. To be with you in times of joy and suffering, wealth and poverty; to love you and honor you, according to God’s gracious will.

E. Name, I give myself to you to be your wife/husband. I promise to love and sustain you in the covenant of marriage, from this day forward, in sickness and in health, in plenty and in want, in joy and in sorrow, as long as we both shall live.

F. Name, I take you to be my wife/husband from this time onward; to join with you and to share all that is to come, to give and to receive, to speak and to listen, to inspire and to

20

respond, and in all circumstances of our life together, to be loyal to you with my whole life and with all my being.

G. I take you name, to be my wife/husband. I promise before God and these witnesses to be your faithful husband/wife, to share with you in plenty and in want, in joy and in sorrow, in sickness and in health, to forgive and strengthen you, and to join with you so that together we may serve God and others as long as we both shall live.

H. I, name, give myself to you, name. By the grace of God, I promise to support and care for you. In the love of Christ, I promise to love and cherish you. With the Spirit’s help, I promise to be faithful to you, as long as we both shall live.

I. I, name, give myself to you, name, and by the grace of God, I promise these things to you: I will be faithful to you and honest with you; I will respect, trust, help, and care for you; I will forgive you as we have been forgiven; and I will share my life with you, through the best and worst of all that is to come, until death parts us.

SYMBOLIC RITES - If you have a unity candle, we will coat the wick with clear nail

polish to help it light quicker and reliably. - If you have unity sand, please check that the sand in each side

jar combined does not exceed the capacity of the center jar. - - Are you going to give roses to the mothers?

PRAYERS OF THE CHURCH After praying for your marriage, we’ll pray for those gathered with you and for relationships throughout the world. We often include any deceased relatives in these prayers. Please make sure to notify the pastor of their names. In most weddings, the pastor offers these prayers; however, it is quite meaningful if the couple offers them, so please notify the pastor if you would like to do so.

THE MUSIC Because this is a worship service, there should be references to God’s love and care expressed toward the lovers in the lyrics and the songs. Many of the popular hit songs may be romantic, but they leave God out of the equation. If popular music is chosen, it must have spiritual meaning consistent with our belief in God, not

21

just in each other’s love. Music must be approved by the pastor. We recommend you work with your musician in picking the right music for you. They will likely have recommendations and samples of the options. Please think about whether you’d like to have singers, and when you might have them sing. After the sermon and during the unity candle/sand are common placements.

If the congregation will sing, these hymns from Evangelical Lutheran Worship (our red hymnal) are especially appropriate:

308 O Morning Star, How Fair and Bright! 312 Jesus, Come! For We Invite You 436 Wake, Awake, for Night Is Flying 460 Now the Silence 488/489 Soul, Adorn Yourself with Gladness 585 Hear Us Now, Our God and Father 586 This Is a Day, Lord, Gladly Awaited 631 Love Divine, All Loves Excelling 642 Ubi caritas et amor 644 Although I Speak with Angel's Tongue 648 Beloved, God's Chosen 816 Come, My Way, My Truth, My Life 836 Joyful, Joyful We Adore Thee 839/840 Now Thank We All Our God 879 For the Beauty of the Earth 881 Let All Things Now Living

LEAVING - Are you planning to greet/receive your guests at the end of the

church service or at the reception? - Will you have any special way of leaving the church: bells,

bubbles, etc? You may not use rice or bird seed.

OTHER THINGS TO THINK ABOUT

THE WEDDING BUDGET How we spend money reflects what our priorities are. Your wedding day is a special and important milestone in your lives, but it should also be kept in perspective of your entire lives so that it does not cause undo hardship or debt for you, your family, or your guests. Decide how much you want to spend on your wedding and who will pay for what before making any plans. Weddings do not need to be expensive. In fact, some of the most

22

beautiful weddings have been simple and inexpensive. In lieu of gifts for guests, consider making a donation to your favorite charity or organization that work to build strong families.

FOOD/DRINK BEFORE THE WEDDING STARTS Although you may feel rushed or anxious and be tempted to skip a meal, everyone involved in the wedding needs to eat and drink plenty prior to the wedding. It’s good to have light snacks and water on hand for attendants. Chocolate, oily dressings or dips, and other items that might leave stains should be avoided. Also, a supply of water, rather than pop or juices, may avoid a sticky mess or a stained garment. Please make sure to clean up and remove any leftover food by the time you depart for the reception.

No drinking of alcoholic beverages will be allowed on the church premises. Anyone considered to have been drinking prior to the wedding (on- or off-site) will at the discretion of the pastor not be allowed to participate in the wedding, including the bride/groom.

YOUR RECEPTION AT THE CHURCH A. What will the menu be? Who will prepare the food?

B. How many will be served? How much should we prepare?

C. Will there be a head table? Who will sit at the head table?

D. Will the bride’s table be served or will they serve themselves?

E. When will the guests be served? Will there be table servers?

F. Who will set up and decorate the reception area and when? Check the church calendar before setting up to make sure there are no conflicts. A diagram of where tables and chairs are to be placed, is located in the kitchen.

G. The congregation can provide - White tablecloths

- Serving dishes (silver coffee servers, four silver serving trays, two silver mint dishes, silver creamer and sugar bowl, punch bowl and table skirt)

- Place settings for 200 - Two dozen place settings of good china and good silver - Three dozen goblets - Cake knife and cake server - other dinner items if requested. Please talk to the ladies listed on page 5 to indicate an interest in using these items and to verify what is available.

23

H. When will the cake be cut? Who will cut it?

I. Who will clean up after the reception? Tables, chairs and other things should be returned to the way they were before the reception.

J. Personal conduct of all participants and guests, as well as music selections must be consistent with our Christian values. Those not conducting themselves in such a manner will be asked to leave the premises.

K. Alcoholic beverages are not permitted in the church.

L. The reserving couple is responsible for damaged property.

THANK YOU

Thank you for planning to hold your wedding with us. We believe this is an important part of our ministry to families and to our world. We look forward to sharing this special day with you, praying for your marriage, and supporting you in your life together.

Please know that you are always welcome to join us in our worship and the other areas of our ministry and service.

24