Jean’s Plan

Your story We have now met four times and you have told me a lot about your life. Your mum joined us at one meeting too .

You live at home with your mum and dad and your family are very important to you.

You grew up in Dundee and went to St Mark’s school which you liked and you made some good friends there. However, some of the children near where you lived were very nasty to you. They used to bully you and call you horrible names because you went to St Mark’s.

What my difficulties are now.When you left school you started to do a college course but you became a bit panicky and left the course. Since then, you haven’t had anything to do during the day and you spend a lot of time in your bedroom.

When you go to busy places you get very uptight. You feel hot and bothered and your heart goes fast. You worry about what other people think about you. Given the hard time you had when you were younger, that’s understandable.

When you go out, upsetting thoughts pop into your head that something terrible is going to happen or that people are staring at you and you start to feel hot and bothered. You have anxious thoughts like ‘I can’t cope’ ’this is a disaster’ and ‘they don't like me’. Picture of anxious face.

I can’t cope.

They don’t like me

Sometimes what feels like the best thing doesn’t help

You feel safer at home so you stopped going out to avoid feeling anxious. If you do go out you try not to look at anyone, just in case they’re staring at you . But that doesn’t help either and makes you feel awkward. BUT staying at home makes you feel bored and sad.

And because you’re not used to going out now you don’t feel very confident. You feel even more anxious about going out.

Building confidence to have a better life.We spoke about how your life would be better if you could go out more. You have many talents.

You are a great swimmer. You love to go to your drama classes, where you are really good at speaking

up! You enjoy spending time with your family.

But there are lots of other things you would like to do

You would like to go out lots of places with your mum and dad, which you always enjoy.

In the past you used to go on holiday abroad and that’s something you would love to do again in the future.

If you had a chance, you would like to meet more people of your own age and to have more company.

So it is worth it!

Plan for working together1. Feeling less uptight and getting out more: The plan is to start with small steps

and then slowly build up step by step.

Step 1 ✔ Step 2✔ Step 3 ✔ Step 4 ✔

Your first step will be to meet with a friend for a coffee in the cafe near where you live . You will do this with your mum and stay there for 20 minutes.

2. Feeling more confident and in control: calm thinking.

When you go out upsetting thoughts pop into your head that ‘something terrible is going to happen’ or that ‘people are looking at me’ and you start to feel hot and bothered. Once you start feeling uptight you’re very quick to think that it’s a disaster and that you can’t cope and just need to get out. To make yourself feel better you try not to look at anyone but that just means that you’re left with the upsetting thoughts in your head.

We are going to work at noticing the anxious thoughts that go through your mind and make things worse. Then we can find other ways of thinking to help you stay calm.

We will also think about other ways of coping rather than looking away. Use Role play to practice new ways of dealing with things. Practice looking at other people because you find this difficult. Talked about difficult feelings.

3. Feeling Good About Yourself: When you think other people are staring at you, it makes you feel like a ‘rubbish’ person. But what do people who really know you think about you? We’ll also spend some time thinking about the things you’re good at and ways of feeling good about yourself.

4. Meeting people : Finally, we are going to get some help to find out about things that you could do during the day and to find some company of your own age

CALM THOUGHTS

You have been doing a great job in the meetings that we had up to now and I look forward to working with you on these ideas.