1
/ms PillS. covered with pimples,? Your sfcin rough and blotchy? It’s your liver! Ayer’s Pills are liver pills. They cure constipation, biliousness, and dyspepsia. 25c. All druggists. Want your moustache or beard a beautiful brown or rich black? Then use BUCKINGHAM’S DYE Whiskers 50 CTB. O? PWUOOISTS. OB B. P. MALI & CO. NASHUA, N. H. John Van Buren’s Repartee. Once when John Van B*uren, son of President Van Buren, was making a speech in behalf of his father, an old Democrat rose in the audience and up- braided him as a bolter. Few men were more effective on the stump or quicker at repartee than John, and he replied to the charge with an anecdote something like this; “One day a man on horseback came up with a boy who was contending with an overturned load of hay. Instead of tossing the hay back in the wagon, the boy was energetically tossing it hither and thither, regardless of where it land- ed. The traveler halted and said: ‘My young friend, why do you work so furi- ously this, hot weather? Why do you not toss the hay back in the wagon and be more deliberate in your labors?” The boy stopped, wiped the streaming per- spiration off his face on his shirt-sleeve, and. pointing to the pile of hay on the roadside, exclaimed: ‘Stranger, dad’s un- der thar,’ and then he set about to work more furiously than ever.” WE WANT Everybody That's interested in furnishing their home and saving money to write for our big catalogue. IT’S FREE. Wiscon- sin’s biggest home furnishing store. THE NEW ENGLAND STORE, Cor. West Water and Cedar Streets, Milwaukee, Wis. Bernhardt’s Brilliant Retort. M. Hnret, in his monograph on Sarah Bernhardt, tells the following anecdote of the great actress: “One day Mine. Bernhardt happened to enter a Protestant church and heard the minister denounce her as an ‘imp of dark- ness. a female demon sent from the mod- ern Babylon to corrupt the new world.’ Before the day was over the clergyman received this note: ‘My Dear Confrere: Why attack me so violently ! Actors ought not be hard on one another. Sarah Bernhardt.’ r JFatente to Inventors. Messrs. Benedict & Morsell, solicitors •of patents, Old Insurance building, Mil- waukee, report patents issued to Western inventors September 5 as follows: A. Anderson. Chippewa Falls, Wis., cut- ter head; J. E. Bean, Food du ,“ac\ Wis.. cyclometer; M. E. Biersach, Milwaukee, stamping machine; W. P. Brown, Racine, Wis.. bridle bit: R. B. Charlton, Milwau- kee (2T machine for removing saw burs from fish es. and punch for slotting fish plates: A. Durand. Apple River. Wis.. milk can-: G. F. Johnson. Superior, Wis.. shears; L. C. Kohler, Milwaukee, traveler for pipes or conduits; G. Mertel. Chippewa Falls, Wis., threshing machine; E. E. Nelthorpe and G. H. Williamsov, Janesville, Wis., fountain pen; A. W. Robinson, Milwaukee, steam shovel; J. Scherer, Klenekaunee. Wis., repairing fractures in saw plates; A. M. Weber. Oshkosh. Wis. (2), skirt binder and dress binding and Milwaukee-Wau- kesha Brewing Cos., /Llwaukee, lager beer Grade mark); H. E. Purdy, La Crosse, 'Wis., root-beer (trade mark). —News from the Princess Maud, near Republic, Wash., continues to be sensa- tional. An average sample across three and a half feet of the bottom of the winze returned 12V2 ounces of .gold and 112 ounces of silver. Write for circular of Spencerian Busi- ness and Shorthand College, Milwaukee. —Dog insurance flourishes in New York. liheude’s Business College and Mechan- ical Drawing School, Milwaukee. —.Horses have a great dislike to cam- els. The Weekly Wisconsin is now only Fifty cents per year. —Golf has been introduced in Constan- tinople. [LETTER TO MRS. PINKHAST NO. 93,284] Dear Mrs. Pinkham—For some time 1 have thought of writing to you to let yo\i know of the great benefit I have received b k from the use of S*rs. Johnson Lydia E Pink Saved! irosn ham’s Vegeta- InsasiSty by ble compound. .. -a. m Soon after the SWiPSa PBB'ih.lhasm birth of my first child, I com- menced to have spells with my spine. Every month I grew worse and at last became so bad that I found I was gradually losing my mind. ‘“ The doctors treated meifor female troubles, but I got no better. One doctor told me that I would be insane. I was advised by a friend to give Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound a trial, and before I had taken all of the first bottle my neighbors noticed the change in me. “I have now taken five bottles and cannot find words sufficient to praise it. I advise every woman who is suffering from any female weakness to give it a fair triaL I thank you for your good medicine/’ Mrs. Gertrude M. John- son, Jonesboro, Texas.. Mrs. Perkins’ Letter. “I had female trouble of all kinds, had three doctors, hut only grew worse. I began taking Lydia E. Pinkham’s Vegetable Compound and Liver Pills and used the Sanative Wash, and can- not praise your remedies enough.”— Mrs. Effie Perkins, Pearl, La. Artificial limbs .. Latest Patented Improved Legs Braces for All Dsformities—Catalogue Free The Doerflinger Artificial Limb Go. Wisconsin/ I A riICC •—The Periodical Monthly Regulator never LHUIIOi lulls, convince yourself, write for free box. NEW YOKK CHEMICAL CO., Box 70, Milwaukee, Wis. PI S’Q'S OUR E FOR ———r.TTT.T y.'WtTTTTir.TJgf | J*,] JM Jll 1 Q O N S U M F? t; QN SPINNING WHEEL. MR. JOSH SIMPKINS ON ETIQUETTE. I’ve studied up on etiquette, Read every book that I could get, And yet There isn't one in all the lot That tells a feller it is not De rigger to eat pie For breakfast, hence why skouldn t I i And. furthermore, I cannot find In all the books I call to mind A single line That gives a reason worth a whoop Against a second plate of soup When fellers dine. And as for eating marrowfats Without a spoon, I think that that s A fool- ish sort of rule. When I eat pease I’ll do as I darn please! And what is more, till I’m a Snob I’ll eat my corn straight off the cob; And sparrergrass I’ll eat as I Have always done in days gone by A sort of dangling from the sky; A sort of gift from heaven come, Held twixt my finger aud my thumb. And as for those peculiar things Called finger-bowls, I vow, by Jings. I will not use ’em as they say The bon-tons uses ’em today. If my hands ain’t both good and clean, The pump is where it’s always been; And far as ever I could see, It’s plenty good enough for me. I don’t stand much on etiquette, But yet I’m too polite to wash my paws At table spite of social laws. —Harper’s Bazar. “The lock of contentment that comes o’er a man’s face on lighting bis after- dinner cigar,” said the corn fed philosoph- er, “somehow completely knocks out all of the moral effect of the lecture he gave his oldest boy on the extravagance m smoking.’ —lndianapolis Journal. Bishop Huntington told this story on himself during one of his last visits to Washington. The good bishop, it seems, once went down to a town in Oonnecticut to perform a marriage ceremony. He arrived the day before the wedding, and he left at the same time the bridal pair did. although he was driven to a dif- ferent railway station. As he passed through the station, carrying his travel- ing bag, he was aware that he was cre- ating a sensation, but was totally at a loss to account for if. In the car he found that he was Still the object <of amused .attention. The porter positively snickered as lie passed his seat, and final- ly, just as the train pulled out, he came lip and assisted the churchman to re- move liis overcoat. “What is the matter with you, my man?” asked the bishop. The porter’s snicker broadened into a laugh. “Ainlt you done ilei” the lady, sab?” 110 chuckled. “Eh?” exclaimed the bisliqp in surprise. Then his eye fell on the side of his trav- eling bag, which the porter had just turned round. There glued to it was a wide strip of white satin ribbon, on which was painted in large tetters: “Married this morning.” The facetiously-minded best man had mistaken the bishop’s traveling bag for that of the bridegroom, nnd a chuckling black 'porter worked late iinto the night removing that ribbon.—Washington Post. “Bickersniff’s doctor has ordered him to cease riding in his horseless carriage for .awhile.” “What’s the trouble?” “He used it so constantly that he has become automobilious.” Philadelphia North American. I would not be my lady’s glove Thus lightly to be cast aside. Her bonnet or her gown, for love Like .mine would nearer her abide, And yet I would not closer press, So closely that she might demur; But, oh, I’d he her bathing dress And cling and cling and cling to her. —Harlem Life. A famous Scottish physician was, un- fortunately, given to drink. He drew the line on the safe side of uproariness and incapability, but not infrequently he was so muddled as to be consciously un- fit for his work. One night, when lie had more than a wee dappie in his e’e, lie was sent for by a lady of title. He responded, went to visit her, sat down gravely by her bedside, looked at her tongue, felt her pulse, and asked one or two questions, says the Gentleman’s Magazine. . Consciousness of his .unfit- ness for work, he momentarily forgot himself and| exclaimed: “Drunk, by .To+e!” Recovering, he managed to write out a simple prescription and went home crestfallen that he had so badly given himself away. The following day the physician received a message from his noble patient, asking him to call. He responded, though much uneasy in his mind because of the summons. The,lady told him that she had a confession to make, that he had rightly diagnosed iher condition, and that unfortunately of date she had given way to liquor, and that she implored the physician to keep the matter profoundly secret. He listened as grave as a judge. “You may de- pend upon me, madam,” ho said at length; “I shall be as silent as the grave.” Tommy’s Mother —“Why is it, Tommy, that you are always fighting with Willie Simpkins? I never heard of you quar- reling with any of the other boys in the neighborhood.” Tommy—“He’s th’ on’y one I kin lick.”—lndianapolis State Jour- nal. Bayard Taylor related the following about a parrot once owned by a lady in Chicago: “When the great fire was rag- ing, an owner saw that she could res- cue nothing except what she instantly took in her hands. There were two ob- jects equally dear, the parrot and the old family Bible, and she couldn’t take but one. After a moment of hesitation she seized the Bible, and was hastening away when the parrot cried out in a loud and solemn voice, “Good Lord, deliver us!” No human being could have been deaf to such an appeal; the precious Bi- ble was sacrificed and the bird saved. He was otherwise a clever bird. In the home to which lie was taken there were among other visitors a gentleman rather noted for volubility. When the parrot first heard him it listened in silence lor some time, then to the amazement of all present, it said very emphatically, ‘You talk too much!’ The gentleman, at first embarrassed, presently resumed his inter- rupted discourse. Thereupon the parrot laid liis head upon one side, gave an in- describably comical and contemptuous ‘H m-in!’ and added, ‘There he goes again! A Conan DovL says that for absent- mindedness he holds tin* world’s cham- pionship, but we doubt if he could win out against the Colorado woman who put her baby in the oven to roast, and sang a lullaby in an endeavor to soothe lo sleep the stuffed turkey she rocked in the cra- dle. —Denver Post. Col. Cody helped to build a church at North Platte, and was persuaded by liis wife and daughter to accompany them to the opening. The minister gave out the hymn, which commenced with the words: “Oh. for a thousand tongues to sing,” etc. The organist, who played by ear, started the tune in too high a key, ad had to try again. A second attempt ended like the first failure. “Oh, for ten thousand tongues to sing my great— —” came the opening words for ihe third time, followed by a squeak from the or gan and a relapse into painful silence. Cody could contain himself no longer, and'blurted out; “Start it at five thou- sand, and niebbe some of the rest of us can get in.” .Tiggs—“l tell you what it is, it takes a baby to brighten up a house.” Newpop—“That’s light. Our first ar- rived three months ago, and we’ve been burning gas at all hours of the night ever since.” —Catholic Standard and Times. French evidence: “You say, sare, zat you ar-r-re convinced of zee guilt ol’ zee prisonaire. On vat do you base zees confidence?” “I vill tell you, my gener- al. I vas told by a washerwoman of the Rue Sebastopol zat she found in zee iusite pocket of zee vite vest of a lior-r-se rubbaire of zee Petit Picpus, a lettaire from a scavenger of zee Quartier Latin, in wheech he say zat lie has just orer-r-r- --heard a boulevardier say to zee erossing- sweepaire in front of zee Gr-r-anu Op- er-r-ra house zat bees gr-r-aumozzaire called out in her sleep zat D-r-r-eyfus vas guilty!” Profound sensation.—Cleveland Plain Dealer. Mrs. Greene —“How came you to rec- ommend that girl you had to Mrs. Gray ? You know you said you actually hated the girl.” Mrs. Brown —“Yes: but I don’t hau- lier as much as I do Mrs. Gray.”—Bos- ton Transcript. Johannes Gelort, the New York sculp- tor, was in his studio one day when a man and woman called. They were ap- parently a well-to-do farmer and his wife, who were making their first tour in the world of art. The sculptor explained to them the mysteries of modeling and cast- ing. At the end the man said: “I think I understand it pretty well now, but there is still one tiling that puzzles me.” “What ?s it?” asked the artist. “I un- derstand how a statue is in the piece of marble that you buy, but how do you cut away the stuff which is around it?” Old Lady—“ What! You won’t chop a little wood after getting such a good meal? You’re a poor excuse for a man.” Pilgrim—“ Well, lady, a poor excuse don’t often work, does it?”—Philadelphia Record. Jingle—“ Today I saw a man raising a glass of beer to his lips. I called to him to stop, spoke three words to him. and instead of drinking it lie dashed it to the ground, splintering the glass into a thousand pieces.” Mingle—“My stars! You must be a second John B. Gough for eloquence. What did you say to him?” Jingle—"l said. ‘That’s non- union beer.’ —New York Weekly. Hetfie—“Harry is a man always to ! e trusted. He lias never deceived nm.” Clara—“But how do you know that ?” “Know it? Why, he told me so himself only las." evening.”—Boston Transcript. SAUCY, BUT SELF-RELIANT. Such is the Typical East Side Girl of New York City. “The typical east side girl of New Y’ork,” writes Charles T. Brodhead in the Ladies’ Home Journal, “is simply a prod- uct of her environments. She is sur- rounded by the good, bad and indifferent. She is in an atmosphere in which no girl should be reared. Her eyes and ears are closed to many disagreeable things around her. And she shuts them simply because she does not care to see and hear. Yet the east side girl is no saint. Far from it. The typical girl of that section is self- reliant, saucy, impertinent, slangy, quick- tempered, ready to fight with the tongue, and even with fists if necessary. She will dance all night and work all day, repeat it three or four times a week, then de- clare she isn’t tired, and look bright and fresh all the while. She will upbraid her mother, whom she calls ‘me ole woman;’ and abuse her father, referred to by her as ’me ole man;’ cuff the ears of her younger brothers; have a hair-pulling match with a sister; yet if any one should dare utter a word derogatory to the mem- bers of her family, ’Miss East Side’ would go at them like a wildcat. She flirts outrageously with motormen, con- ductors, and the like, and will laugh de- risively at or .slap the face of the well- dressed man who presumes to become ac- quainted with her on the street; remain night after night at the bedside of a girl friend who is ill, and follow a beggiug cripple half a block to give her last cent for charity.” Some Famous Newspaper Scoops. One of the most potent factors in bring- ing about the present trial of Capt. Drey- fus at Rennes was the startling publica- tion of all the evidence given before the Cour de Cassation by Le Figaro. Ac- cording to newspaper parlance, this was a “scoop” of the first magnitude, and well worth the perfunctory fine which was levied upon the publishers of the Figaro for their so-called indiscretion. How the news leaked out in this case has not as yet been divulged. Sooner or later the secret is bound to become known within French newspaper circles, just as similar English and American achieve- ments have become the common property of the editorial profession. One of the most famous English “scoops” is that which is supposed to have furnished George Meredith with the plot for his “Diana of the Crossways.” In 1545, •when all the agitation was going on over the corn laws, Sir Robert Peel, then prime minister, declared that he would /stand fast by them. Yet at the begin- ning of December of that year the Times created a sensation by declaring that the government was about to bring in a bill for their repeal. Everybody was as- tounded, and the feeling generally was that the statement was not true, and that the Times had been “had.” Yet the accuracy of the report was very soon established, and then the question arose as Jo how the Times had found out. Few people ever knew. The night be- fone the Times made its announcement, a cabinet council was held, and it was then actually decided to take the mo- meiLtous step. When the members of the government separated, one of them, Sid- ney Herbert, went to dine with a Mrs. Norton, a lady well known in society. The combination of a good dinner, ex- cellent wine and feminine beauty result- ed in Mr. Herbert indiscreetly letting the secret slip from his lips. His com- panion made no remark, but as soon a* opportunity afforded she got in her car- riage and drove to the Times office with the news. Five hundred pounds was (be price demanded, and it was paid—Col- lier’s Weekly. Cocoanuts When First Picked. The hard, white layer of meat inside co- oanuts in our markets is not there in the freshly-plucked fruit, except as a creamy film about a sixteenth of an inch thick, which has to be scraped off with a spoon. Sparkling liquid, in place of the acrid “milk” known to American con- sumers, comprises the whole nut. One Truth from Out of the West. The more horse sense a man has the less he bets on the races.—Chicago Daily News. USEES OF MORPHINE. Th* bru4 Rapully Ikiliirgnß It-i Circle of Victims. “The amount of morphine used by wom- en in New l T ork is increasing at an alarm- ing rate,” said a physician. “I do not give the drug at all, save in extreme cases, for I believe we doctors are large- ly responsible for the spread of the evil. It seems such an easy, merciful thing to relieve acute suffering by a dose of mor- phine. and it would be all right if the patients couldn't get the drug themselves. Then can get it. There’s the trouble. “I was called to see one of my patients lust week. She is a wealthy woman. She developed the morphine habit two years ago, when she had a serious illness. Since then she has h; w l periodical sprees with morphine, in spue of all we could do to prevent her. She always says that the deplorable state she gets into is due to other causes, but I can tell, as soon as I see her, whether she has been taking morphine. Last week, when 1 went to see her, she was a nervous wreck and said she had been agonized with rheu- matism. Rheumatism is a handy thing. A doctor can’t swear that a patient hasn’t got it. I accused the woman of having been on a morphine spree. She denied it. I appealed to her husband. He searched her bureau and chiffonier and found 200 morphine pills. She had bought them all at one time, but wouldn’t tell who sold them to her. “Of course there’s a law against selling morphine except on prescription, but a morphine fiend can always get it if he is persistent, and generally he is so. Any physician can tell a habitual morphine- taker at a glance. So can a druggist. The latter reads the unmistakable signs in a man’s face, and, if he hasn't a con- science. will sell the morphine victim what he wants. The druggist knows that the purchaser will guard the secret quite as closely as lie could. But, if a person with no symptoms of the morphine habit wants to buy the drug, he will probably have great difficulty in getting it. No pharmacist, even if no* particularly rep- utable, wants to take the chances of being hauled up for a breach of the law. “I am constantly running across cases of the morphine habit, especially, as I said, among women. The life they lead when active socially, uses up their nerves, and they take morphine for neuralgia un- til they can’t get along without it. Us- ually they are ashamed of the habit and conceal it carefully, but sometimes they are quite open about it, take their mor- phine regularly and will not listen to rea- son. Not a month ago a beautiful young woman showed me anew catelaine or- nament she had just bought. It was a remarkably handsome gold case, studded with jewels, and loked like a vinaigrette. The top opened, and inside were a tiny hypodermic syringe aud a tube of mor- phine. I said something more forcible than polite and tried to make her see th(‘ insanity of the thing, but she only laughed and told me she carried mor- phine pills in her chatelaine bonbonniere, so that she would be all right if she happened to bo where sin* couldn’t use the hypodermic, which she preferred. I threatened to tell her husband, but she said he knew about it and didn’t care. She didn’t bother him, and he didn’t bother her. I went to the husband, and he merely shrugged his shoulders and said he never interfered with his wife. Then I relieved my mind again and told him what 1 thought of him—and now there is one family loss on my list of patients. “That was an exceptional case, I ad- mit. Usually relatives and friends of a person who takes morphine do everything possibly to break up the habit, but a fiend is remarkable for clever- ness. A great many women who don’t want anyone to know that they have the habit work the physicians l’or' morphine. I know women of good family who nevei go more than two weeks without terri- ble attacks of neuralgia or rheumatism or something else that causes excruciat- ing agony. The doctor is called in and tries to relieve the woman, but nothing relieves her until he trios morphine. If he is clever -enough to see through the thing and too conscientious to help out the little farce, he gives up the case. Another doctor is called in and another, until one prescribes what is wanted. That’s an old. old game. Many a strug- gling young doctor has thought his for- tune made because a wealthy woman in his neighborhood called him in. blit when she is seriously ill she goes back to her old doctor. She only wants the new one to prescribe morphine for her neural- gia. “There’s no excuse in the world for a doctor acquiring the morphine habit. He knows better. Yet some of the* doctors do it. One famous old New York doc- tor used to take liis morphine as regular- ly as he took his breakfast, and, when- ever he gave a hypodermic injection to a patient, he took one himself while he had the syringe out, just for sociability, I suppose. He never went to pieces un- der it, but I presume he would have done so in time. “No one but a physician can realize how this special vice is increasing and how serious a problem ir presents. Asa class the medical profession takes a strong stand against it, but I confess I’m feeling rather discouraged. The per- son who takes a dose of morphine for anything within the limits of endurance is a fool—but the world is full of fools.” New York ’Sun. The Queen’s Wealth. We have often heard that the Queen of England is an exceedingly rich woman, but few people are really aware of the enormous wealth she possesses. Its full amount will never be known, for the wills of royal personages are not dis- closed. As mere items of her present income, however, may be mentioned the yearly sum of £30,000 which parliament allotted to her spouse, Prince Albert, and which has been paid her ever since his death as the widow of that pensioned personage. Her mother, the late Duch- ess of Kent, left her £800') a year. Thus nearly two hundred thousand annffal dol- lars go to swell her private purse, wholly outside of her royal revenues, which no- body mentions iii any exact terms, and of whose real amount nobody save cer- tain reticent officials are perhaps aware. Individuals, it is well known, have on several occasions bequeathed the Queen large fortunes. Her property in jewels alone is something prodigious. Her gold plate, stored at Windsor Castle and brought to London for use at court fes- tivities at Buckingham palace, is of vast value. It chiefly consists of dishes, flag- ons, stands and shields, and has been accumulated, through many past genera- tions, by the monarchs who preceded her. Other treasures in the way of fur- niture, apparel, household ornaments, tapestries, rugs, carriages, horses, etc., would reach huge sums if reduced to pounds, shillings and pence. Unless I am greatly in error, all the royal palaces are exempt from taxation, and the state defrays the huge expenses of maintaining each. It is now and then affirmed, and not without truth, that a President of the United States has more power than the Queen of England. But liis yearly £lO,- 000 make a piteous showing beside that copious stream of gold which pours con- tinuously into the coffers of Windsor. And when one thinks of the £IOO,OOO per annum given the Prince of Wales, and the smaller yet regal incomes dis- tributed among his brothers and sisters, one realizes the tremendous financial benefits which royalty obtains in one of the richest nations of the world. —Edgar Fawcett in Collier’s Weekly. MONEY IN IT IF PEACE IS KEPT Matin estimates Millions of Profits from the Coming World’s Fair. The caterers of Paris are in a state of agitation. It is not ‘‘the affair” that moves them, but the approach of the day when the contracts for places of refresh-' meat in the exhibition of 1900 will be decided. In 1889, according to a writer in the Matin, who revels in exhibition statis- tics, the contractors who secured con- cessions for the eighty-six restaurants, cafes and brasseries paid the authorities in the shape of rent upward of 1,200,000 francs. One of these concessionaires, after covering all expenses, cleared 1,- 500,000 francs. Next- year much greater things are expected. In 1889 32,000,000 visitors came to Paris; next year more than double that number will, it is es- timated, come to the exhibition. If this hope be realized, the gain to Paris will be enormous. The visitors to the last exhibition, it is said, left behind them in Paris 1,250,000,000 francs, or £50,000,- 000. The receipts of the railways in- creased by 78,000,000 francs, the income of the postoffice by 8,000,000 and the Paris octroi duties by 10,000,000. Fur- ther, the takings of the theaters were augmented to the extent of 50 per cent. Those figures do not of course indicate anything like the whole gain to France from the exhibition of 1889. But they certainly give an idea of the widespread interests which have everything to gain from peace and tranquillity in 1900. Hugh Grant. A writer in the New York Press says of Hugh J. Grant, ex-mayor of New York, and Ulysses S. Grant. Jr.: It is not a bit odd that they should have been chums at college. Name often draws men together. One day, long after they had cut their political eyeteeth, after Hugh was sheriff, “Buck” said, as they strolled down Broadway: “Hugh, why is it you are so modest?” With a sly twinkle the future mayor replied: “Modesty doesn’t do a man any harm in politics.” Hugh Grant may have an •'easy” look about his face, but he can hold his own with the shrewdest. Naturally warm-hearted he is as cold at business us Russell Sage. At poker he is a recognized past-master. J have yet to see the man who can out- hold him, lay ’em down quicker when he’s beat, bet ’em harder when lie’s got ’em, and gather in the pot with a more regretful air. His skin being clear and his blood clean, he can blush like a sensi- tive girl still tied to mother’s apron- scrings. But, brethren, don’t let that blush fool you! How the Choctaws Are Faithful Unto Death. Probably there is no other class of peo- ple in the world in this respect like the Choctaws. They believe in each other as a child believes in its mother. When one Choctaw Indian tells another that a cer- tain thing will be done, it can be depend- ed upon that it will be done. This cus- tom of turning a prisoner loose without bail commenced among the Choctaws half a century ago. An Indian murdered his sister. There was no jail, and the Choctaws had no money to hire a guard. After the Indian judge had sentenced him to be shot, the former said: “Now you can go free until your execution day. Then I want you to come without being told. If you fail to obey it will disgrace your family.” The Indian gave bis promise and appeared at the appointed time. Ever since then it has been the custom to allow condemned Indians to run loose. Never but once has a prison- er failed to come freely and alone to his execution. The number of Indians thus shot within the last half-century is over one hundred.—Leslie’s Weekly. Progress. With time, comes progress and ad- vancement in all lines of successfully conducted enterprises. Success comes to those only who have goods with superior merit and a reputation. In the manufacture of laundry starch for the last quarter of a century J. C. Hubinger has been the peer of all oth- ers and to-day is placing on the market the finest laundry starch ever offered the public under our new and original method. Ask your grocer for a coupon book which will enable you to get the first two large 10-cent packages of his new starch, RED CROSS, TRADE MARK brand, also two of the children’s Shaks- peare pictures painted in twelve beauti- ful colors as natural as life, or the Twentieth Century Girl Calendar, all absolutely free. All grocers are authorized to give ten large packages of RED CROSS STARCH, with twenty of the Shaks- peare pictures or ten of the Twentieth Century Girl Calendars, to the first five purchasers of the Endless Starch Chain Book. This is one of the grandest offers ever made to iutrodr?e the RED CROSS laundry starch, J. C. Hubing- er’s latest invention. Was Born, Not Made. One was from Kentucky, and, of course, a colonel, and the other had served in the Northern army during the Civil war, says the New York Tribune. They had been discussing with rising heat the conduct of the Philippine cam- paign. when some remark of the colonel’s raised the Northerner’s ire and he said: “What do you know about military matters, anyway?” “I am a colonel,” replied the Ken- tuckian, with dignity. “I don’t see what that’s got to do with it,” rejoined the Northerner; “you were born a colonel.” And then for five minutes their mutual friends were extremely busy trying to pry them apart. —Rich copper and silver ore has been found in Plumbago canyon, Wyoming. —B. L. Farjeon. the English novelist, is a son-in-law of Joseph Jefferson. —Gen. Leonard Wood is partial to cigarettes, rarely smoking cigars, a fact which commends him to the Cubans in his province. Attend the Oshkosh Business College and School of Shorthand and Typewrit- ing. Best in everything! Business Prac- tice in Book-keeping and Shorthand from start to finish. Educates practically and supplies business houses with competent assistants. Established Sept. 1, 1867. No vacations. For catalogues address W. V.\ Daggett, Oshkosh, Wis. —Lord Brassey, owner of the yacht Sunbeam, has figured out that he has spent eleven years of his life on the wa- ter. Keeping Flowers Fresh. A pinch of salt or a piece of charcoal added to the water helps to keep the flowers fresh. The water should be changed every day or it will r-nell un- pleasantly; Hall's Catarrh Cure. Is taken internally. Price 73 cents. —Great excitement prevails at Harri- son, Ida., over a rich find of silver and gold veins. Piso’s Cure for Consumption is theoDly cough medicine used in my house.—D. C. Albright, Mifflinburg, Pa., Dec. 11, ’95. —Alcohol Was first distilled by the Ara- bians, and when we talk about coffee and au*ohol we are using Arabic words. The Weekly Wisconsin is now only Fifty cents per year. —Woolwich'arsenal has a sixty-ton an- vil. “Necessity is the Mother of Invention It e was the necessity for a reliable blood purifier and tonic that brought into exist- ence Hood's Sarsaparilla. It is a highly concentrated extract prepared by a cor . bination, proportion and process peculiar to itself and giving to Hood's Sarsapa- ritla. unequalled curative power. HANDSOME WOMEN are those who carefully guard their health, and when mentally or physically overworked, when troubled with nerv- ousness, headache or loss of sleep, occa- sionally taae an appropriate tonic. Noth- ing answers the purpose so well as Zaegel’s Swedish Essence of Life—it hits the right spot by stimulating stomach, liver and bowels to healthy action and supplies through them rich, pure blood so essential to good health. The great blood Two Weeks purifier Zaegel’s Swedish Essence Treatment Ljf e j s to b e given away free to readers of this paper. This medicine cures Rheumatism, Stomach, Liver and Bowel Complaints, by removing disease germs from the blood. Hundreds of let- ters like the above on file in our office are proving this every day. A reward of 500 Dollars in Gold will be given to anyone who can prove that they are not genuine. A book telling all about its wonderful cures and a free sample, large enough to convince you of its merits, will be mailed to all who write rrri’Cv to M. R. ZAEGEL ic CO., P. O. Box 828, Sheboygan, Wisconsin. A 2-cent stamp should he enclosed in your let- rrf ter to pay the postage ( on this free sample. THAOe MARK Nasal CATARRH ImS&h In all its stages there should be cleanliness. Ely’s Cream Balm Jfr* cleanses, soothes and heals the diseased membrane. 11 cures catarrh and drives away a cold in the head quickly. Cream Balm is placed into the nostrils, spreads over the membrane and is absorbed. Belief is im- mediate and a care follows. It is not drying—does not produce sneezing. Large Size, 50 cents at Drug- gists or by mail; Trial Size, 10 cents by mail. ELY BROTHERS, 56 Warren Street, New York. W. L. DOUGLAS 53&53.50 BHOEB t Worth $4 to $6 compared with other makes, indorsed by over 1,000,000 wearers. ALL LEATHERS. ALL STYLES Ti.E GENUINE have W. t. Douglas’ same and price stamped on bottom. Take no substitute claimed to be as good. Largest maker* of $3 and s.‘’>.so shoes in the world. Your dealer should keep them —if not, we will send you a pair on receipt of price. State kind of leather, size and width, plain or cap toe. Catalogue I) Free. W. L. DOUGLAS SHOE CO.. Brockton. Macs. l^llPgTl^ i Free? Send your name and address or. a postal, and we will send you our 1 56- page illustrated catalogue free. WINCHESTER REPEATING ARMS CO. 180 Winchester Avenue. New Haven, Conn. ©Rv INDIAN RELlCS—Highest cash P rice P aid. for Copper and Stone In- dian Relics. Spears, Pipes, Axes, Ar- rows, knives, etc. Copper pieces es- peciallv desired. Write, to JHT. I*. HAMILTON, Two ltivcrs, Wis. Marriage Certificate, engraved in 7 J colors, contains printed marriage record. Sells at sight by our novel method. Write for terms and terri- tory. Hayrs Pub. Cos.. Warren, ©., Publish- ers W liSte Dove Memorial, a boon to agents. ARTERSINK —None so good, but it costs no more than the poorest. COUGHS AND COLDS tions. Do not negleet them. Write to us for information now to avoid ami cure them. JOHN BROD CHEMICAL COMPANY, 349-351 W. North Avenue, Chicago, 111. rICMQIAM JOIIN W.3IORHI& yKLBMISIIwIfI Wastiingion, D.C. *Successfully Prosecutes Claims. Late Principal Examiner C.S. Pension Bureau. 3 yrs in civil war, 15 mlj udicatin" claims, atty since. N. U . „,No. 3S. 99. maSSZ? M WHEN WRITING TO ADVKS- TISERS pleas e say you saw tua Advertisement iu this paper. YOU WILL REALIZE THAT “THEY LIVE WELL WHO LIVE CLEAN- LY,” IF YOU USE SAPOLIO 25 CT S 25 CTS

Washburn Times (Washburn, Wis.) 1899-09-20 [p ] · 2019. 3. 22. · cameupwith a boy who was contending withan overturnedloadof hay. Instead of tossing the hay back in the wagon,the

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Page 1: Washburn Times (Washburn, Wis.) 1899-09-20 [p ] · 2019. 3. 22. · cameupwith a boy who was contending withan overturnedloadof hay. Instead of tossing the hay back in the wagon,the

/msPillS.

covered with pimples,? Your sfcinrough and blotchy? It’s your liver!Ayer’s Pills are liver pills. Theycure constipation, biliousness, anddyspepsia. 25c. All druggists.Want your moustache or beard a beautiful

brown or rich black? Then use

BUCKINGHAM’S DYE Whiskers50 CTB. O? PWUOOISTS. OB B. P. MALI & CO. NASHUA, N. H.

John Van Buren’s Repartee.Once when John Van B*uren, son of

President Van Buren, was making aspeech in behalf of his father, an oldDemocrat rose in the audience and up-braided him as a bolter. Few men weremore effective on the stump or quickerat repartee than John, and he replied tothe charge with an anecdote somethinglike this; “One day a man on horsebackcame up with a boy who was contendingwith an overturned load of hay. Insteadof tossing the hay back in the wagon, theboy was energetically tossing it hitherand thither, regardless of where it land-ed. The traveler halted and said: ‘Myyoung friend, why do you work so furi-ously this, hot weather? Why do younot toss the hay back in the wagon andbe more deliberate in your labors?” Theboy stopped, wiped the streaming per-spiration off his face on his shirt-sleeve,and. pointing to the pile of hay on theroadside, exclaimed: ‘Stranger, dad’s un-der thar,’ and then he set about to workmore furiously than ever.”

WE WANTEverybody

That's interested in furnishing theirhome and saving money to write for ourbig catalogue. IT’S FREE. Wiscon-sin’s biggest home furnishing store.

THE NEW ENGLAND STORE,Cor. West Water and Cedar Streets,

Milwaukee, Wis.Bernhardt’s Brilliant Retort.

M. Hnret, in his monograph on SarahBernhardt, tells the following anecdoteof the great actress:

“One day Mine. Bernhardt happened toenter a Protestant church and heard theminister denounce her as an ‘imp of dark-ness. a female demon sent from the mod-ern Babylon to corrupt the new world.’Before the day was over the clergymanreceived this note:

“ ‘My Dear Confrere: Why attack meso violently ! Actors ought not be hardon one another. Sarah Bernhardt.’ ”

r JFatente to Inventors.Messrs. Benedict & Morsell, solicitors

•of patents, Old Insurance building, Mil-waukee, report patents issued to Westerninventors September 5 as follows:

A. Anderson. Chippewa Falls, Wis., cut-ter head; J. E. Bean, Food du ,“ac\ Wis..cyclometer; M. E. Biersach, Milwaukee,stamping machine; W. P. Brown, Racine,Wis.. bridle bit: R. B. Charlton, Milwau-kee (2T machine for removing saw burs fromfish es. and punch for slotting fishplates: A. Durand. Apple River. Wis.. milkcan-: G. F. Johnson. Superior, Wis.. shears;L. C. Kohler, Milwaukee, traveler for pipesor conduits; G. Mertel. Chippewa Falls,Wis., threshing machine; E. E. Nelthorpeand G. H. Williamsov, Janesville, Wis.,fountain pen; A. W. Robinson, Milwaukee,steam shovel; J. Scherer, Klenekaunee. Wis.,repairing fractures in saw plates; A. M.Weber. Oshkosh. Wis. (2), skirt binder anddress binding and Milwaukee-Wau-kesha Brewing Cos., /Llwaukee, lager beerGrade mark); H. E. Purdy, La Crosse,'Wis., root-beer (trade mark).

—News from the Princess Maud, nearRepublic, Wash., continues to be sensa-tional. An average sample across threeand a half feet of the bottom of thewinze returned 12V2 ounces of .gold and112 ounces of silver.

Write for circular of Spencerian Busi-ness and Shorthand College, Milwaukee.

—Dog insurance flourishes in NewYork.

liheude’s Business College and Mechan-ical Drawing School, Milwaukee.

—.Horses have a great dislike to cam-els.

The Weekly Wisconsin is now onlyFifty cents per year.

—Golf has been introduced in Constan-tinople.

[LETTER TO MRS. PINKHAST NO. 93,284]“ Dear Mrs. Pinkham—For some

time 1 have thought of writing to youto let yo\i know of the great benefit I

have receivedb k from the use ofS*rs. Johnson Lydia E . Pink.

Saved! irosn ham’s Vegeta-InsasiSty by ble compound... -a. m „ Soon after theSWiPSa PBB'ih.lhasm birth of my first

child, I com-menced to have spells with my spine.Every month I grew worse and at lastbecame so bad that I found I wasgradually losing my mind.

‘“ The doctors treated meifor femaletroubles, but I got no better. Onedoctor told me that I would be insane.I was advised by a friend to give LydiaE. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound atrial, and before I had taken all of thefirst bottle my neighbors noticed thechange in me.“I have now taken five bottles and

cannot find words sufficient to praise it.I advise every woman who is sufferingfrom any female weakness to give it afair triaL I thank you for your goodmedicine/’—Mrs. Gertrude M. John-son, Jonesboro, Texas..

Mrs. Perkins’ Letter.“I had female trouble of all kinds,

had three doctors, hutonly grew worse.I began taking Lydia E. Pinkham’sVegetable Compound and Liver Pillsand used the Sanative Wash, and can-not praise your remedies enough.”—Mrs. Effie Perkins, Pearl, La.

Artificial limbs ..

Latest Patented Improved LegsBraces for All Dsformities—Catalogue Free

The Doerflinger Artificial Limb Go. Wisconsin/I A riICC •—The Periodical Monthly Regulator neverLHUIIOi lulls, convince yourself, write for free box.NEW YOKK CHEMICAL CO., Box 70, Milwaukee, Wis.

PI S’Q'S OUR E FOR———r.TTT.T y.'WtTTTTir.TJgf| ■J*,] JM Jll 1

Q O N S U M F? t; Q N

SPINNING WHEEL.MR. JOSH SIMPKINS ON ETIQUETTE.

I’ve studied up on etiquette,Read every book that I could get,

And yetThere isn't one in all the lotThat tells a feller it is not

De rigger to eat pieFor breakfast, hence why skouldn t I i

And. furthermore, I cannot findIn all the books I call to mind

A single lineThat gives a reason worth a whoopAgainst a second plate of soup

When fellers dine.

And as for eating marrowfatsWithout a spoon, I think that that s

A fool-ish sort of rule.

When I eat peaseI’ll do as I darn please!

And what is more, till I’m a SnobI’ll eat my corn straight off the cob;And sparrergrass I’ll eat as IHave always done in days gone byA sort of dangling from the sky;A sort of gift from heaven come,Held twixt my finger aud my thumb.

And as for those peculiar thingsCalled finger-bowls, I vow, by Jings.I will not use ’em as they sayThe bon-tons uses ’em today.If my hands ain’t both good and clean,The pump is where it’s always been;And far as ever I could see,It’s plenty good enough for me.I don’t stand much on etiquette,

But yetI’m too polite to wash my pawsAt table spite of social laws.

—Harper’s Bazar.

“The lock of contentment that comeso’er a man’s face on lighting bis after-dinner cigar,” said the cornfed philosoph-er, “somehow completely knocks out all ofthe moral effect of the lecture he gavehis oldest boy on the extravagance msmoking.’ ’—lndianapolis Journal.

Bishop Huntington told this story onhimself during one of his last visits toWashington. The good bishop, it seems,

once went down to a town in Oonnecticutto perform a marriage ceremony. Hearrived the day before the wedding, andhe left at the same time the bridal pairdid. although he was driven to a dif-ferent railway station. As he passedthrough the station, carrying his travel-ing bag, he was aware that he was cre-ating a sensation, but was totally at aloss to account for if. In the car hefound that he . was Still the object <ofamused .attention. The porter positivelysnickered as lie passed his seat, and final-ly, just as the train pulled out, he camelip and assisted the churchman to re-move liis overcoat.

“What is the matter with you, myman?” asked the bishop. The porter’ssnicker broadened into a laugh.

“Ainlt you done ilei” the lady, sab?”110 chuckled.

“Eh?” exclaimed the bisliqp in surprise.Then his eye fell on the side of his trav-eling bag, which the porter had justturned round. There glued to it was awide strip of white satin ribbon, on whichwas painted in large tetters:

“Married this morning.”The facetiously-minded best man had

mistaken the bishop’s traveling bag forthat of the bridegroom, nnd a chucklingblack 'porter worked late iinto the nightremoving that ribbon.—Washington Post.

“Bickersniff’s doctor has ordered himto cease riding in his horseless carriagefor .awhile.”

“What’s the trouble?”“He used it so constantly that he has

become automobilious.” PhiladelphiaNorth American.

I would not be my lady’s gloveThus lightly to be cast aside.

Her bonnet or her gown, for loveLike .mine would nearer her abide,

And yet I would not closer press,So closely that she might demur;

But, oh, I’d he her bathing dressAnd cling

and clingand cling

to her.—Harlem Life.

A famous Scottish physician was, un-fortunately, given to drink. He drewthe line on the safe side of uproarinessand incapability, but not infrequently hewas so muddled as to be consciously un-fit for his work. One night, when liehad more than a wee dappie in his e’e,lie was sent for by a lady of title. Heresponded, went to visit her, sat downgravely by her bedside, looked at hertongue, felt her pulse, and asked one ortwo questions, says the Gentleman’sMagazine.

.Consciousness of his .unfit-

ness for work, he momentarily forgothimself and| exclaimed: “Drunk, by.To+e!” Recovering, he managed to writeout a simple prescription and went homecrestfallen that he had so badly givenhimself away. The following day thephysician received a message from hisnoble patient, asking him to call. Heresponded, though much uneasy in hismind because of the summons. The,ladytold him that she had a confession tomake, that he had rightly diagnosed ihercondition, and that unfortunately of dateshe had given way to liquor, and thatshe implored the physician to keep thematter profoundly secret. He listenedas grave as a judge. “You may de-pend upon me, madam,” ho said atlength; “I shall be as silent as thegrave.”

Tommy’s Mother—“Why is it, Tommy,that you are always fighting with WillieSimpkins? I never heard of you quar-reling with any of the other boys in theneighborhood.” Tommy—“He’s th’ on’yone I kin lick.”—lndianapolis State Jour-nal.

Bayard Taylor related the followingabout a parrot once owned by a lady inChicago: “When the great fire was rag-ing, an owner saw that she could res-cue nothing except what she instantlytook in her hands. There were two ob-jects equally dear, the parrot and the oldfamily Bible, and she couldn’t take butone. After a moment of hesitation sheseized the Bible, and was hastening awaywhen the parrot cried out in a loudand solemn voice, “Good Lord, deliverus!” No human being could have beendeaf to such an appeal; the precious Bi-ble was sacrificed and the bird saved.He was otherwise a clever bird. In thehome to which lie was taken there wereamong other visitors a gentleman rathernoted for volubility. When the parrotfirst heard him it listened in silence lorsome time, then to the amazement of allpresent, it said very emphatically, ‘Youtalk too much!’ The gentleman, at firstembarrassed, presently resumed his inter-rupted discourse. Thereupon the parrotlaid liis head upon one side, gave an in-describably comical and contemptuous‘H m-in!’ and added, ‘There he goesagain! ”

A Conan DovL says that for absent-mindedness he holds tin* world’s cham-pionship, but we doubt if he could winout against the Colorado woman who puther baby in the oven to roast, and sang alullaby in an endeavor to soothe lo sleepthe stuffed turkey she rocked in the cra-dle.—Denver Post.

Col. Cody helped to build a church atNorth Platte, and was persuaded by liiswife and daughter to accompany themto the opening. The minister gave outthe hymn, which commenced with thewords: “Oh. for a thousand tongues tosing,” etc. The organist, who played by

ear, started the tune in too high a key,ad had to try again. A second attemptended like the first failure. “Oh, for tenthousand tongues to sing my great——”

came the opening words for ihe thirdtime, followed by a squeak from the organ and a relapse into painful silence.Cody could contain himself no longer,and'blurted out; “Start it at five thou-sand, and niebbe some of the rest of uscan get in.”

.Tiggs—“l tell you what it is, it takesa baby to brighten up a house.”

Newpop—“That’s light. Our first ar-rived three months ago, and we’ve beenburning gas at all hours of the night eversince.”—Catholic Standard and Times.

French evidence: “You say, sare, zatyou ar-r-re convinced of zee guilt ol’ zeeprisonaire. On vat do you base zeesconfidence?” “I vill tell you, my gener-al. I vas told by a washerwoman of theRue Sebastopol zat she found in zeeiusite pocket of zee vite vest of a lior-r-serubbaire of zee Petit Picpus, a lettairefrom a scavenger of zee Quartier Latin,in wheech he say zat lie has just orer-r-r---heard a boulevardier say to zee erossing-sweepaire in front of zee Gr-r-anu Op-er-r-ra house zat bees gr-r-aumozzairecalled out in her sleep zat D-r-r-eyfus vasguilty!” Profound sensation.—ClevelandPlain Dealer.

Mrs. Greene—“How came you to rec-ommend that girl you had to Mrs. Gray ?

You know you said you actually hatedthe girl.”

Mrs. Brown —“Yes: but I don’t hau-lier as much as I do Mrs. Gray.”—Bos-ton Transcript.

Johannes Gelort, the New York sculp-tor, was in his studio one day when aman and woman called. They were ap-parently a well-to-do farmer and his wife,who were making their first tour in theworld of art. The sculptor explained tothem the mysteries of modeling and cast-ing. At the end the man said: “I thinkI understand it pretty well now, butthere is still one tiling that puzzles me.”“What ?s it?” asked the artist. “I un-derstand how a statue is in the piece ofmarble that you buy, but how do you cutaway the stuff which is around it?”

Old Lady—“What! You won’t chop alittle wood after getting such a goodmeal? You’re a poor excuse for a man.”

Pilgrim—“Well, lady, a poor excusedon’t often work, does it?”—PhiladelphiaRecord. •

Jingle—“Today I saw a man raising aglass of beer to his lips. I called to himto stop, spoke three words to him. andinstead of drinking it lie dashed it tothe ground, splintering the glass into athousand pieces.” Mingle—“My stars!You must be a second John B. Goughfor eloquence. What did you say tohim?” Jingle—"l said. ‘That’s non-union beer.’ ”—New York Weekly.

Hetfie—“Harry is a man always to ! etrusted. He lias never deceived nm.”Clara—“But how do you know that ?”

“Know it? Why, he told me so himselfonly las." evening.”—Boston Transcript.

SAUCY, BUT SELF-RELIANT.Such is the Typical East Side Girl of

New York City.“The typical east side girl of New

Y’ork,” writes Charles T. Brodhead in theLadies’ Home Journal, “is simply a prod-uct of her environments. She is sur-rounded by the good, bad and indifferent.She is in an atmosphere in which no girlshould be reared. Her eyes and ears areclosed to many disagreeable things aroundher. And she shuts them simply becauseshe does not care to see and hear. Yetthe east side girl is no saint. Far fromit. The typical girl of that section is self-reliant, saucy, impertinent, slangy, quick-tempered, ready to fight with the tongue,and even with fists if necessary. She willdance all night and work all day, repeatit three or four times a week, then de-clare she isn’t tired, and look bright andfresh all the while. She will upbraid hermother, whom she calls ‘me ole woman;’and abuse her father, referred to by heras ’me ole man;’ cuff the ears of heryounger brothers; have a hair-pullingmatch with a sister; yet if any one shoulddare utter a word derogatory to the mem-bers of her family, ’Miss East Side’would go at them like a wildcat. Sheflirts outrageously with motormen, con-ductors, and the like, and will laugh de-risively at or .slap the face of the well-dressed man who presumes to become ac-quainted with her on the street; remainnight after night at the bedside of a girlfriend who is ill, and follow a beggiugcripple half a block to give her last centfor charity.”

Some Famous Newspaper Scoops.

One of the most potent factors in bring-ing about the present trial of Capt. Drey-fus at Rennes was the startling publica-tion of all the evidence given before theCour de Cassation by Le Figaro. Ac-cording to newspaper parlance, this wasa “scoop” of the first magnitude, andwell worth the perfunctory fine whichwas levied upon the publishers of theFigaro for their so-called indiscretion.How the news leaked out in this casehas not as yet been divulged. Sooner orlater the secret is bound to become knownwithin French newspaper circles, just assimilar English and American achieve-ments have become the common propertyof the editorial profession. One of themost famous English “scoops” is thatwhich is supposed to have furnishedGeorge Meredith with the plot for his“Diana of the Crossways.” In 1545,•when all the agitation was going on overthe corn laws, Sir Robert Peel, thenprime minister, declared that he would/stand fast by them. Yet at the begin-ning of December of that year the Timescreated a sensation by declaring that thegovernment was about to bring in a billfor their repeal. Everybody was as-tounded, and the feeling generally wasthat the statement was not true, andthat the Times had been “had.” Yetthe accuracy of the report was very soonestablished, and then the question aroseas Jo how the Times had found out.

Few people ever knew. The night be-fone the Times made its announcement,a cabinet council was held, and it wasthen actually decided to take the mo-meiLtous step. When the members of thegovernment separated, one of them, Sid-ney Herbert, went to dine with a Mrs.Norton, a lady well known in society.The combination of a good dinner, ex-cellent wine and feminine beauty result-ed in Mr. Herbert indiscreetly lettingthe secret slip from his lips. His com-panion made no remark, but as soon a*opportunity afforded she got in her car-riage and drove to the Times office withthe news. Five hundred pounds was (beprice demanded, and it was paid—Col-lier’s Weekly.

Cocoanuts When First Picked.The hard, white layer of meat inside

co- oanuts in our markets is not therein the freshly-plucked fruit, except as acreamy film about a sixteenth of an inchthick, which has to be scraped off with aspoon. Sparkling liquid, in place of theacrid “milk” known to American con-sumers, comprises the whole nut.

One Truth from Out of the West.

The more horse sense a man has theless he bets on the races.—Chicago DailyNews.

USEES OF MORPHINE.Th* bru4 Rapully Ikiliirgnß It-i

Circle of Victims.“The amount of morphine used by wom-

en in New l T ork is increasing at an alarm-ing rate,” said a physician. “I do notgive the drug at all, save in extremecases, for I believe we doctors are large-ly responsible for the spread of the evil.It seems such an easy, merciful thing torelieve acute suffering by a dose of mor-phine. and it would be all right if thepatients couldn't get the drug themselves.Then can get it. There’s the trouble.“I was called to see one of my patients

lust week. She is a wealthy woman.She developed the morphine habit twoyears ago, when she had a serious illness.Since then she has h;wl periodical spreeswith morphine, in spue of all we coulddo to prevent her. She always says thatthe deplorable state she gets into is dueto other causes, but I can tell, as soon asI see her, whether she has been takingmorphine. Last week, when 1 went tosee her, she was a nervous wreck andsaid she had been agonized with rheu-matism. Rheumatism is a handy thing.A doctor can’t swear that a patient hasn’tgot it. I accused the woman of havingbeen on a morphine spree. She denied it.I appealed to her husband. He searchedher bureau and chiffonier and found 200morphine pills. She had bought them allat one time, but wouldn’t tell who soldthem to her.

“Of course there’s a law against sellingmorphine except on prescription, but amorphine fiend can always get it if heis persistent, and generally he is so. Anyphysician can tell a habitual morphine-taker at a glance. So can a druggist.The latter reads the unmistakable signsin a man’s face, and, if he hasn't a con-science. will sell the morphine victimwhat he wants. The druggist knows thatthe purchaser will guard the secret quiteas closely as lie could. But, if a personwith no symptoms of the morphine habitwants to buy the drug, he will probablyhave great difficulty in getting it. Nopharmacist, even if no* particularly rep-utable, wants to take the chances ofbeing hauled up for a breach of thelaw.“I am constantly running across cases

of the morphine habit, especially, as Isaid, among women. The life they leadwhen active socially, uses up their nerves,and they take morphine for neuralgia un-til they can’t get along without it. Us-ually they are ashamed of the habit andconceal it carefully, but sometimes theyare quite open about it, take their mor-phine regularly and will not listen to rea-son. Not a month ago a beautiful youngwoman showed me anew catelaine or-nament she had just bought. It was aremarkably handsome gold case, studdedwith jewels, and loked like a vinaigrette.The top opened, and inside were a tinyhypodermic syringe aud a tube of mor-phine. I said something more forciblethan polite and tried to make her seeth(‘ insanity of the thing, but she onlylaughed and told me she carried mor-phine pills in her chatelaine bonbonniere,so that she would be all right if shehappened to bo where sin* couldn’t usethe hypodermic, which she preferred. Ithreatened to tell her husband, but shesaid he knew about it and didn’t care.She didn’t bother him, and he didn’tbother her. I went to the husband, andhe merely shrugged his shoulders andsaid he never interfered with his wife.Then I relieved my mind again and toldhim what 1 thought of him—and nowthere is one family loss on my list ofpatients.

“That was an exceptional case, I ad-mit. Usually relatives and friends of aperson who takes morphine do everythingpossibly to break up the habit, but a

fiend is remarkable for clever-ness. A great many women who don’twant anyone to know that they have thehabit work the physicians l’or' morphine.I know women of good family who neveigo more than two weeks without terri-ble attacks of neuralgia or rheumatismor something else that causes excruciat-ing agony. The doctor is called in andtries to relieve the woman, but nothingrelieves her until he trios morphine. Ifhe is clever -enough to see through thething and too conscientious to help outthe little farce, he gives up the case.Another doctor is called in and another,until one prescribes what is wanted.That’s an old. old game. Many a strug-gling young doctor has thought his for-tune made because a wealthy woman inhis neighborhood called him in. blit whenshe is seriously ill she goes back to herold doctor. She only wants the newone to prescribe morphine for her neural-gia.

“There’s no excuse in the world for adoctor acquiring the morphine habit. Heknows better. Yet some of the* doctorsdo it. One famous old New York doc-tor used to take liis morphine as regular-ly as he took his breakfast, and, when-ever he gave a hypodermic injection toa patient, he took one himself while hehad the syringe out, just for sociability,I suppose. He never went to pieces un-der it, but I presume he would havedone so in time.

“No one but a physician can realizehow this special vice is increasing andhow serious a problem ir presents. Asaclass the medical profession takes astrong stand against it, but I confessI’m feeling rather discouraged. The per-son who takes a dose of morphine foranything within the limits of enduranceis a fool—but the world is full of fools.”—

New York ’Sun.The Queen’s Wealth.

We have often heard that the Queen ofEngland is an exceedingly rich woman,but few people are really aware of theenormous wealth she possesses. Its fullamount will never be known, for thewills of royal personages are not dis-closed. As mere items of her presentincome, however, may be mentioned theyearly sum of £30,000 which parliamentallotted to her spouse, Prince Albert, andwhich has been paid her ever since hisdeath as the widow of that pensionedpersonage. Her mother, the late Duch-ess of Kent, left her £800') a year. Thusnearly two hundred thousand annffal dol-lars go to swell her private purse, whollyoutside of her royal revenues, which no-body mentions iii any exact terms, andof whose real amount nobody save cer-tain reticent officials are perhaps aware.Individuals, it is well known, have onseveral occasions bequeathed the Queenlarge fortunes. Her property in jewelsalone is something prodigious. Her goldplate, stored at Windsor Castle andbrought to London for use at court fes-tivities at Buckingham palace, is of vastvalue. It chiefly consists of dishes, flag-ons, stands and shields, and has beenaccumulated, through many past genera-tions, by the monarchs who precededher. Other treasures in the way of fur-niture, apparel, household ornaments,tapestries, rugs, carriages, horses, etc.,would reach huge sums if reduced topounds, shillings and pence. Unless Iam greatly in error, all the royal palacesare exempt from taxation, and the statedefrays the huge expenses of maintainingeach.

.

It is now and then affirmed, andnot without truth, that a President of theUnited States has more power than theQueen of England. But liis yearly £lO,-000 make a piteous showing beside thatcopious stream of gold which pours con-tinuously into the coffers of Windsor.And when one thinks of the £IOO,OOOper annum given the Prince of Wales,and the smaller yet regal incomes dis-tributed among his brothers and sisters,one realizes the tremendous financialbenefits which royalty obtains in one ofthe richest nations of the world.—EdgarFawcett in Collier’s Weekly.

MONEY IN IT IF PEACE IS KEPTMatin estimates Millions of Profits

from the Coming World’s Fair.The caterers of Paris are in a state of

agitation. It is not ‘‘the affair” thatmoves them, but the approach of the daywhen the contracts for places of refresh-'meat in the exhibition of 1900 will bedecided.

In 1889, according to a writer in theMatin, who revels in exhibition statis-tics, the contractors who secured con-cessions for the eighty-six restaurants,cafes and brasseries paid the authoritiesin the shape of rent upward of 1,200,000francs. One of these concessionaires,after covering all expenses, cleared 1,-500,000 francs. Next- year much greaterthings are expected. In 1889 32,000,000visitors came to Paris; next year morethan double that number will, it is es-timated, come to the exhibition. If thishope be realized, the gain to Paris willbe enormous. The visitors to the lastexhibition, it is said, left behind them inParis 1,250,000,000 francs, or £50,000,-000. The receipts of the railways in-creased by 78,000,000 francs, the incomeof the postoffice by 8,000,000 and theParis octroi duties by 10,000,000. Fur-ther, the takings of the theaters wereaugmented to the extent of 50 per cent.

Those figures do not of course indicateanything like the whole gain to Francefrom the exhibition of 1889. But theycertainly give an idea of the widespreadinterests which have everything to gainfrom peace and tranquillity in 1900.

Hugh Grant.A writer in the New York Press says

of Hugh J. Grant, ex-mayor of NewYork, and Ulysses S. Grant. Jr.: It isnot a bit odd that they should have beenchums at college. Name often draws mentogether. One day, long after they hadcut their political eyeteeth, after Hughwas sheriff, “Buck” said, as they strolleddown Broadway: “Hugh, why is it youare so modest?” With a sly twinkle thefuture mayor replied: “Modesty doesn’tdo a man any harm in politics.” HughGrant may have an •'easy” look abouthis face, but he can hold his own withthe shrewdest. Naturally warm-heartedhe is as cold at business us Russell Sage.At poker he is a recognized past-master.J have yet to see the man who can out-hold him, lay ’em down quicker whenhe’s beat, bet ’em harder when lie’s got’em, and gather in the pot with a moreregretful air. His skin being clear andhis blood clean, he can blush like a sensi-tive girl still tied to mother’s apron-scrings. But, brethren, don’t let thatblush fool you!

How the Choctaws Are Faithful UntoDeath.

Probably there is no other class of peo-ple in the world in this respect like theChoctaws. They believe in each other asa child believes in its mother. When oneChoctaw Indian tells another that a cer-tain thing will be done, it can be depend-ed upon that it will be done. This cus-tom of turning a prisoner loose withoutbail commenced among the Choctawshalf a century ago. An Indian murderedhis sister. There was no jail, and theChoctaws had no money to hire a guard.After the Indian judge had sentencedhim to be shot, the former said: “Nowyou can go free until your execution day.Then I want you to come without beingtold. If you fail to obey it will disgraceyour family.” The Indian gave bispromise and appeared at the appointedtime. Ever since then it has been thecustom to allow condemned Indians torun loose. Never but once has a prison-er failed to come freely and alone to hisexecution. The number of Indians thusshot within the last half-century is overone hundred.—Leslie’s Weekly.

Progress.With time, comes progress and ad-

vancement in all lines of successfullyconducted enterprises. Success comesto those only who have goods withsuperior merit and a reputation. Inthe manufacture of laundry starch forthe last quarter of a century J. C.Hubinger has been the peer of all oth-ers and to-day is placing on the marketthe finest laundry starch ever offeredthe public under our new and originalmethod.

Ask your grocer for a coupon bookwhich will enable you to get the firsttwo large 10-cent packages of his newstarch, RED CROSS, TRADE MARKbrand, also two of the children’s Shaks-peare pictures painted in twelve beauti-ful colors as natural as life, or theTwentieth Century Girl Calendar, allabsolutely free.

All grocers are authorized to give tenlarge packages of RED CROSSSTARCH, with twenty of the Shaks-peare pictures or ten of the TwentiethCentury Girl Calendars, to the first fivepurchasers of the Endless Starch ChainBook. This is one of the grandestoffers ever made to iutrodr?e the REDCROSS laundry starch, J. C. Hubing-er’s latest invention.

Was Born, Not Made.One was from Kentucky, and, of

course, a colonel, and the other hadserved in the Northern army during theCivil war, says the New York Tribune.They had been discussing with risingheat the conduct of the Philippine cam-paign. when some remark of the colonel’sraised the Northerner’s ire and he said:

“What do you know about militarymatters, anyway?”

“I am a colonel,” replied the Ken-tuckian, with dignity.

“I don’t see what that’s got to do withit,” rejoined the Northerner; “you wereborn a colonel.”

And then for five minutes their mutualfriends were extremely busy trying topry them apart. •

—Rich copper and silver ore has beenfound in Plumbago canyon, Wyoming.

—B. L. Farjeon. the English novelist,is a son-in-law of Joseph Jefferson.

—Gen. Leonard Wood is partial tocigarettes, rarely smoking cigars, a factwhich commends him to the Cubans inhis province.

Attend the Oshkosh Business Collegeand School of Shorthand and Typewrit-ing. Best in everything! Business Prac-tice in Book-keeping and Shorthand fromstart to finish. Educates practically andsupplies business houses with competentassistants. Established Sept. 1, 1867.No vacations. For catalogues addressW. V.\ Daggett, Oshkosh, Wis.

—Lord Brassey, owner of the yachtSunbeam, has figured out that he hasspent eleven years of his life on the wa-ter.

Keeping Flowers Fresh.A pinch of salt or a piece of charcoal

added to the water helps to keep theflowers fresh. The water should bechanged every day or it will r-nell un-pleasantly;

Hall's Catarrh Cure.

Is taken internally. Price 73 cents.

—Great excitement prevails at Harri-son, Ida., over a rich find of silver andgold veins.

Piso’s Cure for Consumption is theoDlycough medicine used in my house.—D.C. Albright, Mifflinburg, Pa., Dec. 11,’95.

—Alcohol Was first distilled by the Ara-bians, and when we talk about coffee andau*ohol we are using Arabic words.

The Weekly Wisconsin is now onlyFifty cents per year.

—Woolwich'arsenal has a sixty-ton an-vil.

“Necessity is theMother of Invention ”

It ewas the necessity for a reliable bloodpurifier and tonic that brought into exist-ence Hood's Sarsaparilla. It is a highlyconcentrated extract prepared by a cor .

bination, proportion and process peculiarto itself and giving to Hood's Sarsapa-ritla. unequalledcurative power.

HANDSOME WOMENare those who carefully guard theirhealth, and when mentally or physicallyoverworked, when troubled with nerv-ousness, headache or loss of sleep, occa-sionally taae an appropriate tonic. Noth-ing answers the purpose so well asZaegel’s Swedish Essence of Life—it hitsthe right spot by stimulating stomach,liver and bowels to healthy action andsupplies through them rich, pure bloodso essential to good health.

The great bloodTwo Weeks purifier Zaegel’s

Swedish EssenceTreatment Ljfe js to b egiven away free

to readers of this paper. This medicinecures Rheumatism, Stomach, Liver andBowel Complaints, by removing diseasegerms from the blood. Hundreds of let-ters like the above on file in our officeare proving this every day. A rewardof 500 Dollars in Gold will be given toanyone who can prove that they are notgenuine.

A book telling all about its wonderfulcures and a free sample, large enoughto convince you of its merits, will bemailed to all who write rrri’Cvto M. R. ZAEGEL icCO., P. O. Box 828,Sheboygan, Wisconsin.A 2-cent stamp shouldhe enclosed in your let- rrfter to pay the postage (

on this free sample. THAOe MARK

NasalCATARRH ImS&h

In all its stages thereshould be cleanliness.Ely’s Cream Balm Jfr*cleanses, soothesand healsthe diseased membrane.11cures catarrh and drivesaway a cold in the headquickly.

Cream Balm is placed into the nostrils, spreadsover the membrane and is absorbed. Belief is im-mediate and a care follows. It is not drying—doesnot produce sneezing. Large Size, 50 cents at Drug-gists or by mail; Trial Size, 10 cents by mail.

ELY BROTHERS, 56 Warren Street, New York.

W. L. DOUGLAS53&53.50 BHOEB

tWorth $4 to $6 compared with

other makes,indorsed by over1,000,000 wearers.

ALL LEATHERS. ALL STYLESTi.E GENUINE have W. t. Douglas’same and price stamped on bottom.

Take no substitute claimedtobe as good. Largest maker*of $3 and s.‘’>.so shoes in theworld. Your dealershould keepthem—if not, we will send youa pair on receipt ofprice. State

kind of leather, size and width, plain or cap toe.Catalogue I) Free.

W. L. DOUGLAS SHOE CO.. Brockton. Macs.

l^llPgTl^i Free?

Send your name and address or. apostal, and we will send you our 1 56-page illustrated catalogue free.

WINCHESTER REPEATING ARMS CO.180 Winchester Avenue. New Haven, Conn.

©Rv INDIAN RELlCS—Highest cashPrice Paid. for Copper and Stone In-dianRelics. Spears, Pipes, Axes, Ar-rows, knives, etc. Copper pieces es-peciallv desired. Write, to JHT. I*.

HAMILTON, Two ltivcrs, Wis.Marriage Certificate, engraved in 7

J colors, contains printed marriage record. Sells atsight by our novel method. Write for terms and terri-tory. Hayrs Pub. Cos.. Warren, ©., Publish-ers W liSte Dove Memorial, a boon to agents.

ARTERSINK—None so good, but it costs

no more than the poorest.

COUGHS AND COLDS tions. Do not negleetthem. Write to us for information now to avoid amicure them. JOHN BROD CHEMICAL COMPANY,349-351 W. North Avenue, Chicago, 111.

rICMQIAM JOIIN W.3IORHI&yKLBMISIIwIfI Wastiingion, D.C.*Successfully Prosecutes Claims.Late PrincipalExaminer C.S. Pension Bureau.3 yrs incivil war, 15 mljudicatin" claims, atty since.

N. U . „,No. 3S. 99.

maSSZ?M WHEN WRITING TO ADVKS-TISERS pleas e say you saw tua

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