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By: Albert Einstein Angelo State’s Finest Paper Since Fall 2006 "It's not who you are underneath, but what you do that defines you." ‐‐Batman Begins Volume 6, Issue 6 Fly A Kite Day March 27, 2009 Human nature. Darwinism.
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A cynical view "It's not who you are underneath, but what you do that defines you." ‐‐Batman Begins True story. This brings up an interesting proposition though ‐ if what you do defines who you are, and who you are is what is underneath your public persona, how does one differentiate between the two? For if the measure of a man is determined by deed, and occasionally word, then that which lies in your heart becomes obsolete. But does that which is underneath not also play a part in determining outward action? Every action requires a catalyst, we know this from every science course we have ever taken ‐ nothing can happen without a force from without. What then, if we remove that which is underneath, would be the causative force to provoke deeds, whether good or ill, to display for others to judge and measure our character? Of course, nothing is ever that simple. If it were, life would be too easy; a game. And we already have the game of Life, so life as we know it would be redundant as well as simplistic. The real problem is not in what we do or say, but the fact that life is a constant interaction of people with other people. Human nature.
Does such a thing exist? One could argue that, according to the age old debate of nature vs. nurture, nature must exist in humanity to some degree. But in order that humans have a nature, some must harbor nurturing tendencies in order to balance that equation. The only problem with that is some people would argue that every person has both tendencies within their person as an inherent design attribute. But is this possible? Maybe. But the duality involved with this idea is fatally flawed because in any situation where something is pitted in opposition to something else, the stronger of the two will emerge dominant. It is the inevitability of Darwinism. Darwinism. Scientifically, Darwinism makes a lot of sense. Theoretically, it is even fairly sound. I agree with Darwinian principle only in so much as it can be applied to rhetoric, theories, and abstraction. The strong devour the weak, you see it all the time in business, in school systems, and definitely in sports. One team, group, or business will crush all others and emerge stronger, faster, better, and victorious. However, Darwinism, as a means of species
Continued on page 3
By: Albert Einstein
page
Volume 6, Issue 6 Fly A Kite Day March 27, 2009
Ang
elo State’s Fine
st Pap
er Since Fall 200
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Picture of the week
Thirsty, Much?
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“I have the chalk. I’m God.” -Dr. Diminnie
Quote of the Week
Knowing Knature By: D’ino I’talles
Einstein did a lot for the advancement of science, even if it meant he had one of his daydreams again and invented a new branch of physics. One invention that he isn’t often credited for is the laser. That simple term that we use today is actually an acronym for “Light Amplification by Stimulated Emission of Radiation.” Einstein is responsible for the ‘stimulated emission’ part because he predicted in 1916 that it would be possible to take energized electrons and “stimulate” them with matching energy until they “emit” more radiation than can be absorbed. Today we have gas lasers which are used in laboratories, chemical lasers used as weapons, dye lasers used in medicine, solid‐state and metal‐vapor lasers used in research, and semicon‐ductor lasers used in communication or keychain laser pointers. The first laser was actually a MASER, or a laser that emits microwaves, that was designed by Soviets in 1952 and built by Americans in
1953. See, even during the Cold War, science doesn’t really recognize political boundaries. This first type of laser was really just a novelty, though it was found useful in clocks due to the nature of the constant frequency source. The ma‐ser quickly found its way into science fiction, immor‐talized in Godzilla with ma‐ser tanks that shot bolts of lightning at monsters. By the way, lasers don’t make lightning. Sadly, there are few terrestrial examples of masers, although it seems that space is quite effective at creating them. But fear not, for I have dismantled a cooking microwave and I’m planning on building a maser to instantly heat my coffee in the morning. In 1960 we finally created an optical laser with a ruby source, appropriately called the ruby laser. It was basically a flashtube (think of a fluorescent bulb) wrapped around a crystal that would flash and cause light to be emitted from the ruby crystal. We put mirrors on both sides and allow only
a small fraction of light through to ensure that the light is collimated or parallel and directed, which is why lasers project small dots on a wall rather than illuminating a room like a flashlight. By the way, if you’re a Star Wars geek, don’t get excited because you can’t turn a crystal laser into a lightsaber. In the 1980s we came up with red diode lasers, which you may have on a keychain to annoy people in the movie theater. This is a simple device made from two s em i condu c t o r materials that emits light when you run a current through it. And right about the year 2000 we commercialized green laser pointers. These are not purely green sources, but rather infrared lasers that have been filtered and modulated through crystals and mirrors until it comes out as green. This is also true for the new blue laser pointers from 2006.
All these lasers are fairly safe but you never want to point a laser at your eyes or someone else’s eyes. The power output is low, but it is so focused that you can damage your eyes faster by staring at a laser pointer than by staring at the sun. Laser pointers are typically labeled as Class II devices, but there are much more powerful devices that are required to have safety locks on them. You shouldn’t play with them, but honestly playing with them is the best part. Carbon dioxide lasers are pretty easy to make and they emit an infrared light that can cause many things to burst into flames after a short exposure. You can also use them to cut sheets of metal, engrave your name in stone, and perform surgery (please don’t try that). So the next time you’re driving your cat insane by having it chase a laser dot or you have your laser sight locked on the enemy in Call of Duty 4, remember what physics has done for you.
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maintenance, makes little sense. I would say that it makes no sense, but within the realms of ones own
species, Darwinism is present. Unfortunately, people have come to use the misnomer of "adaptation" rather than the taboo word evolution because evolution makes people queasy and vehemently angry. Simple fact is, what has been deemed adaptation is evolution within a species to better that particular group in order that it survive the existing, changing environment. Granted, humans do not go around eating one another, at least not in civilized countries, to weed out the weak ‐ we have found a better way of doing that. Prison. Prison, quite simply, is the housekeeper of society that sweeps away all the dirt, grime, and filth so that the rest of society can maintain an air of propriety and cleanliness. To that end, prison is the ultimate culmination of Sartrean existentialism, it represents everything of which Sartre believed about life, love, and humanity; Hell is other people.
Continued from cover
Cynical
1996, Canada
Sleeping residents of Chilliwack were awakened early one morning by the sound of a small aircraft flying lower than usual. The engine noise was like a mosquito, zooming too close too quick, then veering away. What the bleep was going on?
In the wee hours of the night, during a bout of heavy drinking, two future Darwin Award nominees concluded that, with neither had a pilot's license nor flight training, they nevertheless knew enough to pilot an aircraft. They drew the obvious conclusion, and decided to take a plane from the small local airport for a drunken joyride over the city. They invited two females along for the ride; fortunately, the level‐headed ladies declined.
From idea to execution, the plan evolved quickly. One of the gentlemen
worked at the airport and had access to the tarmac. The two men then managed to unlock a plane and get it off the ground and into the sky. They went on to buzz around in the dark, skimming above the roofs of the houses. This went on for an extended period of time.
Eventually they decided to land. They attempted to land on the grassy me‐dian between east and west‐bound lanes of the Trans Canada Highway. They almost made it under the electri‐cal wires that cross the median. Al‐most. Where these wires were con‐cerned, fate intervened. Instead of making a soft landing on the grassy verge, the tail clipped the wires, send‐ing the aircraft diving nose‐first into the ground and killing both occupants.
Only then were the sleepy Chilliwack residents able to return to their REM sleep.
Darwin Awards
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WTF!?!?!?!?!?! By: Kendra Franklin
I see these things all around campus, and I don’t understand why they are here. The one covering the sitting are by the UC make sense but not the others. What has this school come t o o ? ? ? ? A r e t h e y supposed to be some kind of art or something?? Maybe they were just meant to be shading for random people who stand in random places. All I’m saying is that they most likely don’t need to be randomly located around campus, in places that don’t make any sense. Plus they look awkward and downright ridiculous. There is a better use for the school’s money’s besides these things.
F o r i n -stance………….something other than that. Here’s a suggestion, why not put grass on the ground for centennial, since that is taking almost forever and a day to do. Shade is nice for certain spots on campus, but not by the MCS or between the UC. When it rains then what are you going to do huh. Think about that why don’t you.
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Imagine This By: Sandy Arbor
You see this dead space?
WRITE FOR THE RAMDICULOUS!!!
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Participate in PODCASTS Resume BUILDER Ride in limos
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‐A badger riding a surfboard on its hind legs and wearing a goofy grin (Because we all know badgers are mean crea‐tures, right?). ‐A mountain lion going for a rollercoaster ride and raising
it's arms in the air and growl‐ing in delight (Wait. Do mounta in l ions l i ke rollercoaster rides?). ‐A bear playing hopscotch with a human being (Can bears even hop???).
A month or so ago me and my friends jokingly yelled to a number of students that were doing Discover ASU that they should not go to our school, and that it was our last choice for schools. While a lot of people may poke fun at our school, I have to say that after spending 3 years in it I am thoroughly impressed. It provides an affordable and quality education, not to mention wicked cool TVs and pool tables in a state of the art university cen‐ter. So, in an effort to redeem my joking mistake of a month ago and to garner potential students, I will run a weekly column describing what I learn in school every week. Sounds like fun, right? Yesterday was a blast. I cruised through Facebook for about 30 minutes of a 50 minute computer science class. The last 15 minutes I typed up questions I had to do for my group project, and then left 5 minutes early. I'm not sure what is due tomorrow. I arrived at Physics and turned in my homework, prepared as always. I sit next to a kid named James, he touches me in weird places and calls me names. Every 5 minutes or so I will say something dumb, or something that I am serious about but disguise in a kidding manner so as to not compromise my incredible intellectual integrity. After this circus act, I usually get serious and take notes about the material on the board. Usually my Physics teacher will make a drawing that I will draw incorrectly many times putting me behind in the notes. I also will get every single integral or derivative that we do in class
wrong, despite my great math expertise. Occasionally I will get something write and I will make it a point to the whole entire class that I did. Then I will usually follow this up with a super awesome conclusion about the material I learned for the day. For instance, I recently learned that capacitors are the key to the universe, and without them we would not exist. Not really, my physics teacher corrects me, stating that “They merely reveal things about the universe that are vital to our existence.” Well, I was kind of right. Tuesdays and Thursdays are usually uneventful. I totally kick ass at Calculus 3, and made my first 100 on any Calculus test ever. It was a big deal to me. But... the best part of the day comes when I go to Abstract Algebra. The funniest part is I just had to look up the name of this course on the website, because I kept calling it the wrong name. I am extremely fortunate that I only have to go to the board every other 17 people or so, because I really have no clue what I'm doing. I did okay on the last test, but since then we have covered a lot of material, and I would estimate I know what 10% of is it even about. By the way, did I tell you they increased my Carr Scholarship? It is so great to know that the great school of Angelo State University rewards awesome students like me. Well, that is all, I hope you enjoyed my column imparting my wisdom and knowledge for everyone to know, regardless of education, background, height, smell, hair color, or bow‐leggedness.
What I learned By: Edwin A. Abbot
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Pragmatic Patsy Dear Pragmatic Patsy, I live at home with my parents and my uncle. While being in college and still living with mom and dad might be reason enough to ask for advice, I have a more specific problem. My uncle with whom I live refuses to bathe. He claims that it gives him ear infections. I believe it has been over a year since his last excursion into the tub, and the smell is becoming unbearable. My mother and I have tried repeatedly to get him to buy a shower cap and clean himself, but he still refuses. What can I do? (other than the obvious choice of moving out, which I am trying to do) Smell‐less in San Angelo Dear Smell‐less in San Angelo, This is a complicated problem. First of all, I’m not sure exactly how a shower cap would totally prevent ear infections—
and because his fear is obviously irrational, probab ly of fer ing solutions that seem to make sense to you won’t to him. You could hang air fresheners, add some Glade plug‐ins, keep sprays around to spray after he sits or stands nearby. Perhaps this will give him a hint. Also, there may be industrial sprayers that spray every 30 seconds, like you have seen in bathrooms, and you could place these in various locations. Have you tried suggesting ear plugs? Or maybe you could sponge bathe him. Wow. Over a year. This is a tough one—does he go to the doctor? Perhaps a doctor can convince him that there is no need to fear ear infections… Tenderly, Pragmatic Patsy
Pragmatic Patsy thanks her readers for their letters, and always appreciates them. Send them to:
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R A M D I C U L O U S P A G E P O L I C Y Published every Friday and available to students on campus. This newspaper does not express the opinions of any writer, editor, or anyone affiliated with Angelo State University or the Texas Tech University System or this newspaper. We welcome all letters. Please include your name, position, and an email address. All submissions are considered property of the Ramdiculous Page and will not be returned. Submit your letters via our email, [email protected] or website www.ramdiculous.com. Opinions in any letter or writing are not necessarily those of the staff, nor should any opinion expressed in a public forum be construed as the opinion or policy of the administration or the Ramdiculous Page. By submitting anything to the Ramdiculous Page, you are giving the Ramdiculous Page permission to use your Facebook and/or Myspace profile in any way the Ramdiculous Page deems usable, unless expressed in writing. If you are an professor you need not worry, we will not use your profiles.
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Movie Times
Movie Review
Morning my fellow Rams and Belles of Angelo State Univer‐sity!!!Spring Break 09: Alcohol was consumed, hook‐ups occurred and people’s cars blew up. WHAT A RAMTASTIC WEEK! I enjoyed my week off from everything in Phoenix, AZ and it was RAMing hot. After a week of promise of being wild and crazy, I figured we should keep the movie review light this week, so I went with a comedy. I Love You, Man! I Love You, Man! is about a guy name Peter who does not really have any friends beyond his girlfriend relationships. He gets engaged in the beginning of the film and it dawns on him that he doesn’t have a Best Man. As Peter goes on a series
of man‐dates (which are dates for straight man to meet and hang out and become better friends), he finally connects with a guy name Sydney. This
film was hilarious and very well paced. You won’t believe that you were in the theater for 2 hours. Watch it and you will soon understand that slapping the bass is something we should all do. Jo Ben out.
I don’t know what that was, sorry, I’m drunk. (Watch the movie & you will understand that too)
‐Smitty McSmitherson O’Toole the Third from the Golden Forest of Gnome, Alaska
I Love You, Man