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VOLUME 3, ISSUE 7 July 2021
SUMMERTIME MEMORIESThe Compassionate Friends 21st A
44th TCF National Conference - July 16 - July 18 Save the Date! TCF's 44th National Conference will be
presented VIRTUALLY July 16-18, 2021
NEW TCF-GNO MEETING LOCATION
Dear Compassion Friends,
It has been over a year that we went without an indoor meeting location. In
June we held our first indoor monthly meeting. The Lafreniere Park commission
offered us to meet in their Foundation Center Conference Room. I must admit
that all of our members who attended were very pleased with the location.
After further discussion with the Lafreniere Park commission, they have allowed
us to continue with our monthly meetings in the Foundation Center Conference
Room. So, with that being said, our sincere thanks goes out to Tripp Rabalais,
Park Director, and the Lafreniere Park Commission for offering this meeting
location.
The Conference Room comes with 22 executive office chairs around a very large
conference table. There is plenty of room to add an addition 10 straight chairs if
additional seating is required. There is also a mounted large screen HDTV in the
event we which to project an audio/visual presentation.
There is no catering provided, but there is an attached full kitchen. For now, we
do not plan to provide beverages as we have in the past. So if you wish to bring
your own water or drinks, feel free to do so. Members are welcomed to bring a
Birthday Cake, dessert, or snack to remember their child, grandchild, or sibling.
Individually prepared servings are recommended, but the choice is yours. All
serving utensils and napkins would need to be provided as well.
Please contact William or Millie at 504-265-0581 or [email protected] if you
wish to bring a Birthday Cake, dessert, or snack.
************************************************************************ NOTE: TCF – Greater New Orleans Chapter has discontinued the scheduled monthly online ZOOM meetings. However, the 3rd Monday of the month will be kept reserved for online ZOOM meetings if requested beforehand at [email protected].
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BIRTHDAY RECOGNITION: Birthdays can be found on “Our Children Remembered” page. We do encourage
both you and your family to come when it is your child’s birthday month, to share your child with all of us with
photos and memories. You will receive a special birthday gift in memory of your child. Bring that treasured
picture of your child that always makes you smile so we may smile with you.
Chapter Leaders: William and Millie Hunton 504-265-0581 Email address: [email protected]
NEXT MONTHLY MEETING:
July 12, 2021
Lafreniere Park Foundation
Center Conference Room
7:00 – 9:00 pm
2nd Monday of every month
UPCOMING MEETINGS: 11 Jan 21 8 Feb 21 8 Mar 21
12 Apr 21 10 May 21 14 Jun21
12 Jul 21 9 Aug 21 13 Sep 21
11 Oct 21 8 Nov 21 13 Dec 21
REGIONAL COORDINATOR
Denise St. Pierre
504-460-2970
NATIONAL OFFICE
The Compassionate Friends
48660 Pontiac Trail # 930808
Wixom, MI 48393
www.compassionatefriends.org
877-969-0010
UPCOMING EVENTS:
Memorial Walk and Auction
October 24, 2021 – held in the Children’s
Memorial Garden in Lafreniere Park
WorldWide Candle Lighting
December 12, 2021 – Foundation Center
in Lafreniere Park
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Newsletter Submissions: TCF Greater New Orleans welcomes all submissions to our newsletter. Send articles, poetry, love messages and scanned photos to: TCF GNO, 1104 Colony Rd., Metairie, LA 70003. You may also text photos and messages to 504-251-1938. As our chapter is only funded by your donations, we ask for a donation of $15 or more for a dedication for our newsletter. This is tax-deductible. We reserve the right to edit for space and/or content. Deadline for submissions is listed below. TCF Chapters may copy articles from this publication provided credit is given to the author and the original source. Errors and Omissions: Please notify me if any of your information is incorrect. Thank you!
Love Gifts/Dedications to be put in our newsletter are due the 20th of each month.
A Newsletter Dedication: is a special page dedicated in memory of your child with any favorite poem or writing that you submit. A Love Gift: is a short one or two sentence message in your child’s memory. *****************************************************************************************
Brick Orders
CHILDREN’S MEMORIAL GARDEN BRICKS are available to Honor our Children. The Greater New Orleans Chapter has
constructed a “Memorial Garden” in Lafreniere Park to honor the memory of all children who have died. If you have lost a
child, grandchild, or sibling, you can honor them by placing a brick in our beautiful garden. The donation for each brick is
$75.00 for members or $100 for non-members. Our NEW Brick Order Form can be found on our Website:
www.tcfneworleans.com or email William Hunton at [email protected]. For more information call 504-265-0581.
To all those newly bereaved, who are receiving this newsletter for the first time and to all our Compassionate Friends, we wish you were not eligible to belong to this group, but we want you to know that you and your family have many friends. We, who received love and compassion from others in our time of deep sorrow, now wish to offer the same support and understanding to you. Please know we understand, we care, and we want to help. You are not alone in your grief.
Meetings are held the 2nd Monday of each month at the Children’s Memorial Garden in Lafreniere Park at 7:00 P.M. We are a self-sustaining organization with no funds except what we receive through donations from members and newsletter recipients. Please join with us at a meeting.
Grief support after the death of a child
The Compassionate Friends is a national non-profit, self-help support organization that offers friendship, understanding, and hope to bereaved parents, grandparents and siblings. There is no religious affiliation and there are no membership dues or fees.
The secret of TCF's success is simple: As seasoned grievers reach out to the newly bereaved, energy that has been directed inward begins to flow outward and both are helped to heal.
The vision of The Compassionate Friends is that everyone who needs us will find us and everyone who finds us will be helped.
Big Thanks to Our Steering Committee
Contact: Phone: (504) 265-0581
Email: [email protected]
www.tcfneworleans.com
1104 Colony Rd
Metairie, LA 70003
Chapter Leader William Hunton
Chapter Co-Leader Millie Hunton
Special Advisor Denise St. Pierre
Treasurer Linda Provance
Facilitator Debi Giordano
Newsletter Editor William Hunton
Webmaster William Hunton
Steering Committee: William Hunton, Millie Hunton,
Denise St. Pierre, Debi Giordano, Jan Dutilh,
Linda Provance, and Dena Peters.
Denise St. Pierre, Regional Coordinator
(504) 460-2970
TCF National (877) 969-0010
www.compassionatefriends.org
The Meeting Agenda
6:00 p.m. - The meeting will begin with a short introduction
followed by lighting of candle and then reading of the Credo.
Remembering our children’s birthdays of the month. Then
followed by smaller groups of sharing.
8:00 p.m. - Meeting will close by recognizing our children’s
names. Feel free to visit with each other and check out a book
from our library.
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For the Newly Bereaved
We welcome you, we are sorry for the cause that brings you to us and we know how devastated you are. We have all been there. Nothing is required of you and there are no dues or fees. You need not speak a word or you can share. Attending your first meeting does take courage, but our members who attend find a comforting network of support, friendship and understanding that only friends who have "been there" can give. Based on our experiences, we suggest you attend three or four meetings before evaluating the benefit of our group to you. Just come, be as comfortable as you can and let us walk with you. Meetings are a place to talk about your child, a place to remember the joys of their life and the pain and struggle of living without them. It is a place to meet other parents who have in fact survived what may seem impossible to you right now. Meetings are not "the answer." Grief is not a problem to be solved and meetings are not "pity parties" although there are tears and sadness, but there is also hope. Meetings do not bring about closure. You close on a house, not the death of a child. May you find your own peaceful solution to fit your individual needs for coping with special dates which are painful after losing your child. We are here to help.
Janet G. Reyes TCF Alamo Area Chapter, TX
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Starting Over Again
As parents, how many times have we told our children to try, try again? “You can do it, just start over,” we’d say, be it a coloring book not kept within the lines, learning to tie shoes, school assignments or later, other difficulties that life brings. Little did we think that this well-meaning advice we gave out of love for our children’s well-being would be the words that we must follow. Hang on. Don’t give up. Try again, and start over. All this now applies to us. Had the situation been reversed, we would not have wanted our children to live the rest of their lives in pain, and unable to go on. We would have wanted them to continue, not in constant sorrow, but with hope for renewal and better days ahead. As we have said to them---they would be throwing right back to us---it is a hard road that you must travel, but you can do it. What you wanted for me, I want for you. Do what you have to, to find your way out of the dark tunnel, and when you fail, pick yourself up and start over again. You can do it. What we wanted for our children is no less than they would want for us. If we could hear them, right now, they would be saying: LIVE, for life is not a moment. LOVE, for that is what really matters. GO ON, for we shall be together again, someday.
Mary Ann L., TCF, Glouster County, NJ
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TCF Greater New Orleans Memorial Candles To Honor Our Children, Grandchildren, or Siblings We would like to offer to all of our members a 7” x 3” Memorial Candle to honor our children.
We are asking for donations of $20 per candle. Candles will have 3 photos, name, dates, and an LED insert. Additional donations toward chapter expenses are welcome.
Email Your Child’s Photo to [email protected] or call William Hunton (504) 265-0581 for info. Candles will be delivered to the next meeting if info is received 72 hours before meeting.
Donations can be provided when candles are picked up or mailed by check. Order now! We have a limited amount of supplies on hand. Additional supplies are on the way.
Please make checks payable to: TCF – GNO, 1104 Colony Road, Metairie, LA 70003.
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TCF Greater New Orleans Photo Buttons To Honor Our Children
We would like to offer to all of our members 3” Photo Buttons to honor our children. We are asking for donations of $5 for each button or $12 for three buttons.
Additional donations toward chapter expenses are welcome.
Email Your Child’s Photo to [email protected] or call William Hunton (504) 265-0581 for info. Photo Buttons will be delivered to the next meeting if info is received 72 hours before meeting.
Donations can be provided when buttons are picked up or mailed by check.
If you wish to have your buttons mailed, then please add an additional $4 for postage. Please make checks payable to: TCF – GNO, 1104 Colony Road, Metairie, LA 70003.
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Summer Thoughts Summer is a time when things naturally slow down, a time when many are waiting for the orderly routine of their lives to begin again. For those of us in grief whose lives are already in limbo, it can seem endless if we let it. Seeing children, babies and teenagers is not easy for us, and in summer, we see them everywhere. Everyone is out living, loving and enjoying carefree activities with their children, and we want to scream, “It’s not fair!” I was sitting on my patio one evening at dusk recently listening to the shouts of children outside playing, and I was crying as I remembered the sounds that my child used to make. I became very depressed as I thought what a long summer this was going to be. In my reverie, I was reminded of a recent comment I had heard at a support group meeting: “My child was such a loving, giving person. He would not want me to waste my life being bitter.” I also remembered a good friend telling me to “count my blessings” and naming all the things I had to be grateful for. I was furious at the time. Nothing that I had to be grateful for could compensate for the fact that my child was dead. Now, sitting in the twilight of this early summer evening, I began to see things differently. I determined that this summer would not be an eternity… that I would not let it be. I decided first of all to stay busy. I know I can find plenty to do if I only take the time to look. I am also going to try to enjoy the simple things that used to give me so much pleasure, like working in my garden and flowers. I then decided to try to be truly grateful for the blessings that I have, like my husband, my surviving children, my job, friends, etc.. It has been almost five years for me, and I know that last year this would not have worked. Of course, I still have times of sadness. I know I always will, but I have decided that in the process of grieving, we close so many doors that the only way to recover is to reopen them gradually at our own pace. I know I will never be the same person I was before the death of my child; but I hope eventually, in some ways, I will be a better person because suffering can be beneficial if we learn and grow through it. A year ago I didn’t feel this way and I know I still have a long way to go, but in the meantime I know the greatest tribute to my child will be to enjoy this summer, as he would have done.
By: Libby Gonzales Huntsville, Alabama
Disenfranchised Grief There is a particular type of grief that sadly more and more parents are suffering from today called "disenfranchised grief." Counselors and therapists also refer to it as "stigmatized grief." The children of these parents died from suicide, drug related overdose, and aids. These bereaved parents are often scorned, ostracized and denigrated. Many receive little or no support from family, friends, co-workers and society in general. With unspoken words, the world casts a pall of blame and shame on these individuals with the unspoken implication that if they had been better parents they could have somehow prevented such a tragedy from occurring. Many people never hear their friends or loved ones mention their precious child's name again. They generally do not receive the same level of support that accidental and natural cause deaths do. This exacerbates the grief process. This ever-increasing phenomenon has very little literature or research available at this time to aid these parents in their journey through grief. As members of TCF we need to be especially tender with these parents. We can embrace them and welcome them to share the stories about their children. The heartbreaking circumstances under which these children died do not define their lives as a whole. We all loved our children dearly and were the best parents that we knew how to be. If it were otherwise, we would not need TCF and the support it gives.
Janet Reyes TCF/AAC
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THE COMPASSIONATE FRIENDS CREDO
We need not walk alone. We are The Compassionate Friends. We reach out to each other with love, with understanding, and with hope. The children we mourn have died at all ages and from many different causes, but our love for them unites us. Your pain becomes my pain, just as your hope becomes my hope. We come together from all walks of life, from many different circumstances. We are a unique family because we represent many races, creeds, and relationships. We are young, and we are old. Some of us are far along in our grief, but others still feel a grief so fresh and so intensely painful that they feel helpless and see no hope. Some of us have found our faith to be a source of strength, while some of us are struggling to find answers. Some of us are angry, filled with guilt or in deep depression, while others radiate an inner peace. But whatever pain we bring to this gathering of The Compassionate Friends, it is pain we will share, just as we share with each other our love for the children who have died. We are all seeking and struggling to build a future for ourselves, but we are committed to building a future together. We reach out to each other in love to share the pain as well as the joy, share the anger as well as the peace, share the faith as well as the doubts, and help each other to grieve as well as to grow. We Need Not Walk Alone. We are The Compassionate Friends.
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Kendall Oliver Springman
IN LOVING MEMORY ON YOUR 16th BIRTHDAY
JULY 12, 2005 - JULY 31, 2011
We miss you so much !!!..
You are forever in our hearts
Mom, Dad, Kaol, Grandpa and GrannyMom, Dad, Kaol, Grandpa and GrannyMom, Dad, Kaol, Grandpa and GrannyMom, Dad, Kaol, Grandpa and Granny
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Newsletter Dedication in Loving Memory
Grant Adair Gorman
Born – July 4, 1992 Died – Jul 25, 1995
A Million TimesA Million TimesA Million TimesA Million Times You never said “I’m leaving,” you never said “Goodbye” You were gone before I knew it and only God knew why.
A million times we’ve needed you, a million times we’ve cried If love alone could’ve have saved you, you never would have died.
In life we loved you dearly; in death we love you still. In our hearts you hold a place no one else will ever fill. It broke our hearts to lose you but you didn’t go alone Part of us went with you; the day God took you home
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Newsletter Dedication in Loving Memory
Sherrell Ann Gorman
Born – June 20, 1964 Died – April 23, 2021
What I know…What I know…What I know…What I know… I know you soar with angels now And that your heart has wings. I know you’re watching over me IN whatever this world brings.
I know you were a gift from God And that you’re safe above. I know I will see you again
And once more feel your love. I know you live in Heaven now
And that I must go on. I know my Heart will ache for you
Until my time is done.
Love, Mom, Denise, Stan, Tammy & Nik
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JULY Birthdays
JULY Anniversaries
Chase Anthony July 1 Son of Sandy and Brent Chester; Brother of Molly
Milan Arriola July 3 Daughter of Imani Ruffins
Jacob Cristin Buuck July 3 Son of Alice and Arthur Buuck; Brother of Jennifer
Pearson Pratt July 9 Son of Kelly and Andrew Pratt
Onzaye Morris July 10 Son of Diane Morris; Brother of Nia Woods
Joshua Paul Keller July 13 Son of Jerry and Dana Keller
Christopher Brady July 14 Son of Janice Brady
Jennifer Lynn July 18 Daughter of Mary Ann Piazza; Sister of Jonathan
Bryan A. Eiserloh July 19 Son of June DeJong
Keith Eiserloh July 19 Son of June DeJong
Frank “Frankie” Castagna, Jr. July 21 Son of Margaret and Frank Castagna
Jennifer “GG” Arnold July 24 Daughter of Dee Arnold
Alexis Bounds July 24 Daughter of Peggy and Roger Boardman
Grant Adair Gorman July 25 Grandson of Charlene Gorman; Nephew of Denise
Jonathan Coslan July 26 Son of Sheila and John Coslan
Chad Wershbale July 27 Son of Debbie Wershbale; Sister of Brandi
Rebecca (Beca) DeMuth July 27 Daughter of Kathy and Wilton DeMuth
Brian Christopher July 28 Son of Gaynell and Sidney Leonard
Robert Weeks July 30 Son of Ellen Dotter
Joshua Louis Matranga July 31 Son of Jodi Caronna and Joseph Matranga; Brother of Jaclyn and Joseph
Kendall O. Springman July 31 Grandson of Rosan Springman
PHONE
FRIEND
LIST
Bessma Hendawi July 2 Daughter of Diane Hendawi
Grant Adair Gorman July 4 Grandson of Charlene Gorman; Nephew of Denise
Jonathan Reid Caluda July 5 Son of Faith Caluda
Jennifer “GG” Arnold July 8 Daughter of Dee Arnold
Kendall Springman July 12 Grandson of Rosan Springman
Clint Butler July 12 Son of Marilyn Strecker
Je’Ryan T. M. Edwards July 12 Son of Linda Edwards
Brian Christopher July 14 Son of Gaynell and Sidney Leonard
Jacob Cristin Buuck July 14 Son of Alice and Arthur Buuck; Brother of Jennifer
Keith Eiserloh July 15 Son of June DeJong
Lisa Guillory July 16 Daughter of Jane Guillory
Michelle Laura July 17 Daughter of Marsha Bohrer
Jason Lynn July 17 Son of Nalani Lynn
Brent Ashley Isenberg July 19 Son of Sandra and Jack Isenberg
Joseph “Joey” Burke July 19 Son of Steven Burke and Anne Adams
Colby Wayne July 27 Son of Stephanie and Wayne Adams
Our listeners are willing to listen, understand, and share.Our listeners are willing to listen, understand, and share.Our listeners are willing to listen, understand, and share.Our listeners are willing to listen, understand, and share. 504-454-3293 – Melva Duhon, son, 41, suicide 504-456-8248 – Patsy Ashton, son, 24, drug overdose 504-559-2438 – Jaimie Kimball, sibling, 12, vehicle accident 504-265-0581 – William and Millie Hunton, daughter, 30,
accidental overdose
