Verbal De-Escalation Techniques · Verbal De-Escalation Techniques: Stepping Back from the Edge 1 2 3. ... Verbal Defense & Influence with the Verbal Judo Institute, Inc 7 Active

10/5/2015

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Verbal De-Escalation Techniques:

Stepping Back from the Edge

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What is Conflict?

Behavior in which interdependent parties disagree with or oppose the thoughts, feelings, and/or actions of the other

A disagreement in which the parties involved perceive a threat to their individual needs, interests or concerns

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LEM/CRS Training 2011

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What is a Behavioral Crisis?

A crisis is a perception of an event or situation as an intolerable difficulty that exceeds the resources and coping mechanisms of the person

Unless the person obtains relief, the crisis has the potential of getting out of control

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What Is Verbal De-escalation?

Verbal de-escalation is used during potentially dangerous, or threatening, situation in an attempt to prevent persons from causing harm to us, themselves, or others

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Ways of Conflict Resolution

Violence/War

Marches/Demonstrations

Courts

Arbitration

Mediation

Negotiation

9LEM/CRS Training 2011

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Why is Conflict Resolution Important in Animal Services

Officer Safety

Interpersonal Skills

De-Escalation

Decrease assistance from PD

Another Tool

10 LEM/CRS Training 2011


Professional Skill Building and Problem Solving

Customer Service

Positive Community Relations

Promotes Professional and Positive Interactions Between ACO and Citizen

Officer Seen as a Resource

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Enhances Community Policing Programs and Mission

Officer is now the insider (Trust)

Community Empowerment

Community Control of Process

GVC

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How Do People Deal With Conflict

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Compete Hard Bargaining

Collaborate Working Together

Compromise Splitting the Difference

Accommodate Kill with Kindness

Avoid Leave it Alone


How we Should Respond

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Style Response

Compete Dictate Solution, arrest/UOF

Collaborate Problem Solving with Parties

Compromise Warning and Agreement to Stop

Accommodate Contact with no Action

Avoid No response


Behavioral Crisis

3 reasons that a someone may be having a behavioral crisis:

Medical condition

Substance use

Psychiatric condition: 1) thought disorder; 2) mood disorder; 3) anxiety disorder; 4) personality disorder


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Behavioral Crisis?

Crisis intervention is emotional first aid which is designed to assist the person in crisis to return to normal functioning.

The focus of crisis intervention is what’s happening here and how!


Avoid

Maintaining continuous eye contact

Crowding or “cornering” the consumer

Touching unless you ask first or it is essential for safety

Letting others interact simultaneously with the party

Negative thoughts (“Crazy cat lady” )


Avoid

Expressing anger, impatience or irritation

Inflammatory language (“You are acting crazy.”)

Feeling as though you have to rush or feeling like you are stuck if it takes time to get the consumer talking

Intervening too quickly or trying too hard to control the interaction by interrupting or talking over the consumer.


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Avoid

Saying “You need to calm down.”

Shouting or giving rapid commands

Arguing with the consumer

Taking the words or actions of the consumer personally

Lying, tricking, deceiving, threatening the consumer to get her to comply


Avoid

Asking why questions. Why questions are logic-based. Persons in crisis are not logical. Typically, what ever has worked in the past in not working now. Why questions put the citizen on the defensive. ASK OPEN ENDED QUESTIONS


Avoid

Minimizing the person’s situations as a way to elicit conversation (Things can’t be that bad, can they?)

Suggesting things will get better; they may not

Making promises that you may not be able to keep

Telling the person “I know how you feel.”


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Avoid

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DO

Speak in a calm, slow, clear voice

You may need to repeat; the consumer may be distracted

Be patient; give the situation time; time is on your side

Try to reduce background noise and distractions

Use “and” instead of “but”

Obtain relevant information from informants


DO

Allow the consumer to ventilate“Tell me some more about that.”

Use “please” and “thank you” often

Remain friendly but firm

Ask the consumer if she needs something

Forecast: Announce your actions and movements


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DO

Accept the consumer’s feelings, thoughts and behavioral; acceptance is not easy when a consumer is behaving in a bizarre or hostile manner

Respect the dignity of the consumer without regard to sex, race, age, sexual orientation


Respectful, Professional, Laughter!

Steer clear of the cliché sayings

Do you know why I pulled you over?

Do you have any idea how fast you were going

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I would say, as if I knew you

Good morning, how are you?

Now you’re not thinking about anything negative

The first thing the person says is, ‘I’m fine

That sets the tone…….

Now explain why you are talking with them

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Leave no room for argument

Let them know the city has a leash law and you saw them playing fetch, etc

Explain you have paperwork to complete

Ask for ID

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Leave the Drama at Home

Everyone has bad days

We all have them, but they shouldn’t interfere with your work

You can pass your bad mood on

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Don’t Get Roped in

People will say some horrible things to you

DOG CATCHER, RENTACOP, WANNA BE COP

“I don’t let negative people draw me into an argument. If they want to argue, I shorten the conversation, hand them their citation, and get out of there.”

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Simmons was on patrol with a partner once and watched the conversation escalate between the other officer and a motorist. After a verbal back-and-forth, the frustrated officer blurted out,

“You’re going to piss me off.”

“I told him, ‘You lost the battle right there.’ That’s all she wanted to hear.”

The motorist complained, and sure enough, the officer was written up.

Your work speaks for itself

Hot Buttons

People will sometimes push hot button

We all have them

Example: Person calls you “DOG CATCHER”

This is not a time to react to the words

Do not take person give your professional face

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Logic of De-Escalation

If you take a LESS authoritative, LESS controlling, LESS confrontational approach, you will actually have more control

You are trying to give the person a sense that he or she is in control

Why? Because they are in a crisis, which by definition means the person is feeling out of control. Their normal coping measures are not working at this time


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Introduction

• An introduction promotes communication

• Greeting

• Your name

• Your agency

• Reason for your visit

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Name

How many of you can have someone tell you their name only to have immediately forgotten it?

Use their name early and often

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VERBAL

NON VERBAL

What Are The Two Types Of Communication?

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Non Verbal Communication

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Appearance

Body Language

Command Presence

Uniform

Hygiene

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Communication Definition:

The act or process of using words, sounds, signs, or behaviors to express or exchange information or to express your ideas, thoughts, feelings, etc., to someone else

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Tactical Language

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Verbal Judo vs.

Verbal KarateVerbal Karate

Unprofessional

Express Personal Feelings

Self-Referential Language -

“I - me”

Not in Contact

Off-target Reactions

Verbal Judo

Professional

Use of Words to Achieve

Professional Objectives

In Contact with Audience

Skillful Communication That

is On-Target

43Verbal Defense & Influence with the Verbal Judo Institute, Inc

Law enforcement situations have the potential for getting out of hand. Knowing how to “redirect a person’ s behavior with words” is a officers most important weapon for keeping everyone safe.

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Redirection

Verbal Defense & Influence with the Verbal Judo Institute, Inc

7 Active Listening Skills

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EMOTIONAL LABELING

PARAPHRASING AND SUMMERIZING

REFLECTING/MIRRORING

MINIMAL ENCOURAGERS AND BODY LANGUAGE

EFFECTIVE PAUSES(SILENCE)

“I” MESSAGES

OPEN – ENDED QUESTIONS

Source: Crisis Company

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Emotional Labeling

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WITHOUT JUDGEMENT, IDENTIFY WHAT THE SPEAKER IS FEELING

YOU SOUND….. YOU SEEM… I HEAR…..


If I were in your situation, I think I’d feel . . .

Paraphrasing And

Summarizing

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PUT THE MEANING OF THE SPEAKERS CONVERSATION INTO YOUR OWN WORDS.

PARAPHRASING: SO YOU FEEL LIKE YOUR NEIGHBOR IS RUDE TO YOU?

SUMMARIZING: SO YOU FEEL LIKE YOUR NEIGHBOR IS RUDE TO YOU BEAUSE HE CURSES AT YOU WHEN YOU ASK HIM TO BRING HIS DOG INSIDE.


Paraphrasing Examples

What I hear you saying is . . . .

If I am hearing you right . . . .

Let me see if I understand what you are saying . . .

These types of statements also summarize what has been said in the communication.

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The Art of Paraphrasing

You Can Interrupt And Not Generate Resistance

No One Will Listen Harder Than To His OWN Point of

View

It Creates Empathy - The Other Will Believe You Are

Trying To Understand

It Often Makes The Other Modify Their Initial Statement

After Hearing Their Meaning In Different Words

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Summarize

• Creates Decisiveness & Authority

• Reconnects Communication When

Temporarily Interrupted

• Checks on Understanding

• Improves Memory Retention

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Minimal Encouragers and Body Language

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USE BRIEF, POSITIVE PROMPTS AND GESTURES TO SHOW YOUR INTEREST.

UH-HUH…..RIGHT…OK…..ETC

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Minimal Encouragers

Minimal encouragers are brief statements that can be either nonverbal, such as a positive nod of the head, or simple verbal responses such as Okay, Uh-huh, I see, I am listening.

Minimal encouragers demonstrate to the consumer that you are listening and paying attention, without stalling the dialogue or creating an undue interruption. Especially early in the encounter, consumers need these types of encouragers to feel that the officer is really attending to them and listening to what they are saying.

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Reflecting/Mirroring

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REPEAT BACK THE SPEAKERS WORDSREPEAT BACK THE SPEAKERS WORDSREPEAT BACK THE SPEAKERS WORDSREPEAT BACK THE SPEAKERS WORDSREPEAT BACK THE SPEAKERS WORDSREPEAT BACK THE SPEAKERS WORDSREPEAT BACK THE SPEAKERS WORDSREPEAT BACK THE SPEAKERS WORDSREPEAT BACK THE SPEAKERS WORDSREPEAT BACK THE SPEAKERS WORDSREPEAT BACK THE SPEAKERS WORDSREPEAT BACK THE SPEAKERS WORDSREPEAT BACK THE SPEAKERS WORDS


Reflecting

Whereas minimal encouragers provide initial confirmation that you are listening, reflecting adds another dimension to the communication. Here, you provide the consumer with evidence that you are listening by actually repeating what he or she has said. Often the reflecting response will simply consist of the last few words the consumer says. These statements should be brief and used in such a way as not to interrupt the consumer.

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DELIBERATELY PAUSE AT KEY POINTS FOR EMPHASIS. ALLOW FOR COMFORTABLE SILENCE TO SLOW DOWN THE EXCHANGE

Source: Crisis Company55

Effective Pauses(silence)

“I” Messages

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WITHOUT TURNING THE FOCUS TO YOURSELF, COMMUNICATE HOW YOU WOULD LIKE TO HELP. FOCUS ON THE PROBLEMS NOT THE PERSON.


OPEN ENDED QUESTIONS

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QUESTIONS THAT INVITE A NON-SPECIFIC RESPONSE

WHAT?, WHEN, HOW, TELL ME MORE ABOUT…… I’D LIKE TO HEAR MORE ABOUT HOW THE DOG WAS


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Open-Ended Questions

Open ended questions allow you to get more information

Open ended questions enable us to assess the consumer’s level of dangerousness

Open ended questions allow you to assess whether the consumer is in touch with reality

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Difficult People

A Difficult Person will always tell you no, the first time you tell them to do something, but somewhere around the second, third, or fourth time, when handled properly, 9 out of 10 will comply


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The Traditional Goal of

Professional Intervention is to

GVCGenerate

ComplianceVoluntary


5 Universal Truths

According to Dr. George Thompson of the Verbal Judo

Institute, instead of focusing on how people are different,

we should focus on how people are the same.

1. All people want to be treated with dignity and respect.

2. All people want to be asked rather than being told to do something.

3. All people want to be told why they are being asked to do something.

4. All people want to be to be given options rather than threats.

5. All people want a second chance.


Why do people insult?

Offensive/Defensive tactic

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Types of Verbal Assaults

Authority

Profanity

Personal Threats

Family Safety

Other Staff Members

Physical Features

Age

Sex / Sexuality

Skill / Competence

Education

Economic Status

Religion

ETC.


How To Handle Verbal Abuse

“I ‘preciate that, but . . .”

“I understan’ that, but . . .”

“I hear that, but . . .”

“I got that, but . . .”

“I’m sorry you feel that way, but . . .”.

Note: Combination Phrases Work Best

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Natural Reaction = ConfrontationVs.

Studied Response = Deflection & Redirection


5 Types of Deflectors

Funny Word Blocks

Serious Word Blocks

Polite Threat Word Blocks

Mobilizing the Audience Word Blocks

Sudden Assault (Time Out) Word Blocks


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Funny Word Block Rules

Quick

Appropriate

Not a Counter Punch

Note: Must be delivered with the right face, tone, and body language with an non aggressive use of distance


Three Principles of Verbal Judo

Say What You Want,

DO What I SAY unless safety is threaten.

I Have The Last ACT,

I GIVE You The Last Word!

REspect Vs. Respect.


Communication

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The Opposite of Talking

Should Be Listening,

But for Most People

It Is Waiting…

Waiting To Interrupt!Verbal Defense & Influence with the Verbal Judo Institute, Inc

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L.E.A.P.S

A basic tool for generating compliance

L. Listen

E. Empathize

A. Ask

P. Paraphrase

S. Summarize


Listening Components

Words

Tone of Voice

Facial Expressions

Body Language

Context of the Situation

Distance / Positioning


L.E.A.P.S. Concept

Empathize

• To See Through The Others Eyes

• Construct A Verbal Means To Relate To

The Subject

• You Do Not Have To Agree… Simply

Understand The Others Perspective


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L.E.A.P.S. Concept

Ask (Five Types of Questions)

• Fact Finding

• General

• Direct

• Leading

• Opinion Seeking


Tactical Empathy

Tactical Empathy refers to the active intelligence gathering of a professional investigator who is attempting to learn what a person is thinking in an attempt to learn how to generate voluntary compliance, cooperation, and collaboration.


Communication

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RESPOND To The Meaning,

Never REACT To The Words.


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What Are You Saying

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ONE STUDY AT UCLA INDICATED THAT UP TO 93% OF COMMUNICATION EFFECTIVENESS IS DETERMINED BY NONVERBAL CUES

Effective Communication

words we use7%

body language

55%

tone of voice38%

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There are over 700,000 possible body motions we can make

Mind over matter A. Polya79

Voice

• 33 - 40%

• How you Say It

If there’s a contradiction betweenContent & Voice, which should you believe?


It’s Not What You Say,It’s HOW You Say It!

I Never

Said He

Stole

The Money81


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Tactical 8 Step Concept

1. Appropriate Greeting with Name, if Known

2. Identify Yourself / Assignment, if Unknown

3. Explain Reason For The Contact

4. Any Justifiable Reason For… If Needed

5. Ask for Identification if Unknown / Required

6. Additional Information – Wellness Check

7. Decision Stage

8. Appropriate Close


Crisis Intervention Concept

Pre-Intervention Preparation

1 . Calm yourself , autogenic breathing.

2 . Center yourself , get focused.

3 . Develop a strategy for intervention.

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Autogenic Breathing

Breathe in for a count of 3

Hold breath for a count of 3

Exhale for a count of 3

Repeat as needed, until heart rate is under control

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Crisis Intervention Concept

Crisis Intervention Format

1. Attempt to get person’s attention.

2. Check on their perception of reality.

3. Attempt to establish a rapport.

4. Explain your perception of reality.

5. Move towards resolution .

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Verbal Judo Street Maxims

It’s Not Enough To BE Good, You Have To LOOK Good & SOUND Good, or It’s NO Good!

Never Step On One’s Personal Face!

The Goal Is To Be RESPECTED On The Streets!

People Are Like Steel - When They Lose Their Temper They Are Useless!

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Not feeling heard Not getting what they want (or need) Not feeling important (just a number) Frustrated Confused All of the ABOVE!

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Why Someone Becomes Upset

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Examples

East Elmendorf – Pit Bull impoundment

North Chandler – English Bulldog

Attorney cited for a dog bite

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Barriers to Effective Communication

Barriers to communication are the things that keep the meaning of what is being said from being heard:

Pre-judging

Not listening

Criticizing

Name-calling

Engaging in power struggles

Ordering

Threatening

Minimizing

Arguing 89

Be Water, My Friend

“Empty your mind, be formless, shapeless ‐ like water. Now you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup, you put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle, you put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend.”

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ContactDaniel Ettinger

Manger | Eagle County Animal Services VP | Colorado Association of Animal Control Officers

[email protected]

@officerettingerwww.caaco.org

www.humanehumor.com91

Documents

Verbal De-Escalation Techniques · Verbal De-Escalation Techniques: Stepping Back from the Edge 1 2 3. ... Verbal Defense & Influence with the Verbal Judo Institute, Inc 7 Active