8/8/2019 Urdu_Play

1/4

SCENE 1

(On one side of the stage is seated a doctor with his books and laptop, busy at work. From the

other side two medical students enter. Apparently, they have carried out some research and

are arguing over some point. Seeing their instructor at his desk, they plan to resolve the matter

by asking him. The doctor explains the mental disorder and informs them that a certain patient

suffering from the same had an appointment with him and would be just arriving.)

Student 1: Chalo Sir se pooch lete hein.

Student 2: Haan dekh lena mein he theek honga.

Student 1: Well see. ( both walk over to the doc) Sir jab koi split personality ka shikar hota hai

to kya woh mukhtalif kirdar badalta rehta hai?

Dr.: Nahi. Tum split personality disorder aur schizophrenia mein confuse ho rahi ho.

Schizophrenia mein insaan different characters mein dhal jata hai. Woh khud ko koi bhi eham

shaksiyat smjhne lagta hai. in fact aj he meray paas ek aisay patient ki appointment hai. Tum

yahan ruk kr usay observe kr skte ho. (Music of Guzarish plays and patient enters)

Patient: (addressing student 1) Kalpana, tumhein to Ghajni ne maar diya that. Tum zinda kaisay

ho gayi. yeh meray pyar ka he asar hai.

Student 1: Ohhh. Sanjay singhaniya! Yeh to short term memory loss ka patient hai Sir not

schizophrenia.

Dr.: Tum nahi smjay. Ye abhi Amir Khan k character mein hai to thori der mein khud ko Shah

Rukh Khan smjhne lgay ga.

Patient: Nahi Kalppana. Tumhein meri qasam is ki baton mein mat ana. Mein nahi badloon ga.

Kabhi nahi! Aray tmhari khatir to mein ne Ghajni k ek ek admi ko dhoondh dhoond k mara hai...

Dr. : (to student 2) Yeh lo is ka injection tyar kr k jaldi do muje. Jaldi! Hes over excited.

(Student prepares the injection and hands it to the doc)

Patient: (In Dhremenders style) Doctor, ye injection mujhe de de, doctor.

Dr.: Nahi, ye mera injection hai.( handing it to student 2)

Patient: (to student 2) Ye injection mjhe de de verna

Dr.: Isay mat dena!

8/8/2019 Urdu_Play

2/4

Student2: Nahiii (when patient tries to snatch it)

Student 1: shukar hai pagal mujhe to bhool gaya.

Patient: (still addressing Student2) Agar tu ne muje ye injection nahi diya to tujhe naachna ho

ga basanti.

Dr.: Nahi basanti tum is ke saamne nahi nacho gi.

Student2: Doctor ap ka injection bachaaney k liye basanti kuch b karegi. ( She dances on jab tak

hai jaan and both students make their exitwhile dancing).

Dr.: Ab basanti aur Kalpana tjse jan bacha k to bagh gayi hn per tu is injection se nahi bach skta.

Patient: Dr. Ap Michael Jackson k fan hein na? Wow yeh poster kitna acha hai. Ohh.. screen

saver bhi Mike ka he hai. Kya apki T-shirt pe bhi? aray injection ko chorein Dr. Ye dekhein mein

bhi MJ kit rah moonwalk kr skta hoon.

Dr.: Kya re?

Patient: Haan re.

Dr.: Wah re!

(Patient dances on Beat it and like the students he too makes his exit while the doc. is lost in

the music)

Dr.: (after the patient leaves) Agar ye pagal itna acha dance kr skta hai to mein kyun nhi. Chalothori try krte hn. Doc dances in a pathetically funny manner and scene closes with his fall.)

SCENE 2

Cheeku: oye kharbuje, kaisa lag raha hoon mein?

Kharbuja: Jadugar cheeku! ( With wide eyed wonder) Kya , kya hua?

Cheeku: Gora nahi lag raha mein? (excitedly, expecting a positive reply from his asstt)

Kharbuja: nahi to !!!

Cheeku: thora sa bhi nahi?? (sadly) cream ki teesri sheeshi b khatam ho gayi. Hairat hai koi farq he nahi

para)

Kharbuja: Cheeku baas! mein to hoon hi gora, pyara sa, chikna aur gulgula sa, nahi?

8/8/2019 Urdu_Play

3/4

Cheeku: (jealous) chal hat kalay moon wala.(sighing!) Yar kharbuje mein to tang aa gaya hn is bakwas,

be-izzat or zalil se. itni mushkil se cream laga laga k rang gora krne ki koshish krta hoon. Per log phir b

yehi kehe hn k Jadugar ka moon kala. Jadugar ka moon kala.

Kharbuje: Phir kya krna hai baas.

Cheeku: Yeh le Disprin aur dimag ka energy saver jala. Yar kharboojay mein to yeh soch raha hoon.

Subziyan bohat mehngi ho gayi hn. khun na sbziyon ka thela laga liya jaye.

Kharbuja: U mean, tinda, karela, bengan, bhindi? Haha Cheeku baas phir to meray dimag mein bara dasu

idea aya hai.

Cheeku: Bol Bol. kya aya?

Kharbuja: Baas apke baal bohat baray ho gayi hein. Kyun na in ko kaat k jharu brush bana liya jaye. Baas

mazay he mazay. sab k moon mein baal ur hamare haath mein paisay.

Cheeku: Ruk! Teri to

( Just then patient enters singing tu hai meri Kiran)

Cheeku: Kharbuje, yeh to wahi hai na jiski maan ne humay bohat paisay diye hein isay theek krne ke liye.

Kharbuja: Pakar le. Pakar le. Pakar le.

Cheeku: Lagta hai SRK ka bhoot dowray per hai. ( Cheeku grabs the patient and seats him in front of

himself Music of DON plays in the background)

Patient: Don ka intezar 11 mulkon ki police kar rahi hai. Socho tmhare pas kyun ayah un?

Cheeku and Kharbuja: Socho Soch. Bolo Bolo!

Kharbuja: Baas, SRk he hai.

Cheeku: Muje bhi yehi lag raha hai.( n starts searching for his broom. taking the broom he starts dusting

the patient with it. There is a transfer of energy through the broom. Cheku also becomes possessed of

SRK spook. Seeing this Kharbuja strikes Cheeku with the broom and undergoes same phenomenon. Now

all three dance like SRK.)

SCENE 3 (LAST SCENE)(Mother n daughter are sitting on the stage. daughter is busy with her make up while mother is

expressing her concerns about her sons state of mind)

Mother: Ni kuriye uth te paanay to.

Daughter: Oh mom mere nails abhi he file kiye hein. kaam kar kar k halat buri ho gayi thi.

8/8/2019 Urdu_Play

4/4

Mom: Jaldi sara kam khatam kar. aj mere kakay ka result hai. Aata he hoga.Pata nahi kya hoga? Meray

bachay ko pata nahi kis ki nazar lag gayi hai. Apne laal ko doctor k pas bhi le ke gayi aur us jadugar k pas

bhi . Per koi farq nahi para. Mera dil he jaanta hai mujhe apne laal ki kitni fikr hai.

Daughter (Laughs): Laal?? Hm! Ek dum kala kalota hai. Mera bhai to kahin se lagta he nahi.

Mother: Haan, teri tarah sara sin make jo nahin krta. Ja dekh darwazay pe kon hai. Jaldi ker.

(The daughter shows the doc into the room)

Dr.: Pichli baar to mujhse bach k bagh aya tha. Aj injection lagaye baghair nahi jaoonga. Men eek naya

formula ejaad kiya hai. Dekhna is ka asar! Kahan hai woh.(Cheeku and Kharbooja walk in)

Kharbuja: Maan ji, ap k laal pe asar hua kuch? Pila hua, nila hua yak ala he hai?

Patient: (Comes in excitedly,showing his certificate by holding it high up) Wow, great! Ap sub ek he jaga

mil gaye. Yeh dekhein! Mujhe apni research per STUDENT OF THE YEAR ka award mila hai. Yeh sub ap ki

waja se.

EVERYONE: Humari wajah se?

Patient: Haan is research mein ap sab ki bohat contribution hai. Mere dissertation ka topic tha

schizophrenic patient per society ka asar. yaani k log inhein kaisa treat krte hein. is liye Mein ne sirf

acting kit hi k mujhe mental disorder lahaq hai. ta k ap sab k reaction note kr sakoon.

Dr.: To tum ne hum sab ko bewaqoof banaya aur humara time waste kiya???

Mother: Haye shukar hai mera beta theek hai! Kitna pyar dulara lag raha hai. Nazar to utaroon apne

bachay ki.

Cheeku: iski nazar to hum utarte hein Maan ji ap takleef na krein. Hum pe chorein .Chal ray Kharbooje

aja!!! Apni kamai halal karein

( Doc, Kharbooja and Cheeku run to beat him)

Patient: Aray aray. Thehro. Ek baat btana to bhool gaya. Aj apne award ki khushi mein ap sub ko reat

deni thi per us se pehle hum PACC mein Christmas Programme dekhne chalein ge. Living Stones ne har

baar ki tarah ek bohat zabardast show organize kiya hai. Tickets merar pass hein. Chalein Jaldi krein.

Hum late na ho jaein.

Daughter: Ek minute. Mein tayar to ho jaoon.

Ma: oh ho theek lag rahi hai. ( Pulls her away and together with all others exits)

THE END