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ProjectGutenberg'sAlice'sAdventuresinWonderland,byLewisCarroll

ThiseBookisfortheuseofanyoneanywhereatnocostandwithalmostnorestrictionswhatsoever.Youmaycopyit,giveitawayorre-useitunderthetermsoftheProjectGutenbergLicenseincludedwiththiseBookoronlineatwww.gutenberg.org

Title:Alice'sAdventuresinWonderland

Author:LewisCarroll

PostingDate:June25,2008[EBook#11]ReleaseDate:March,1994

Language:English

***STARTOFTHISPROJECTGUTENBERGEBOOKALICE'SADVENTURESINWONDERLAND***

ALICE'SADVENTURESINWONDERLAND

LewisCarroll

THEMILLENNIUMFULCRUMEDITION3.0

CHAPTERI.DowntheRabbit-Hole

Alicewasbeginningtogetverytiredofsittingbyhersisteronthebank,andofhavingnothingtodo:onceortwiceshehadpeepedintothebookhersisterwasreading,butithadnopicturesorconversationsinit,'andwhatistheuseofabook,'thoughtAlice'withoutpicturesorconversation?'

Soshewasconsideringinherownmind(aswellasshecould,forthehotdaymadeherfeelverysleepyandstupid),whetherthepleasureofmakingadaisy-chainwouldbeworththetroubleofgettingupandpickingthedaisies,whensuddenlyaWhiteRabbitwithpinkeyesran

closebyher.

TherewasnothingsoVERYremarkableinthat;nordidAlicethinkitsoVERYmuchoutofthewaytoheartheRabbitsaytoitself,'Ohdear!Ohdear!Ishallbelate!'(whenshethoughtitoverafterwards,itoccurredtoherthatsheoughttohavewonderedatthis,butatthetimeitallseemedquitenatural);butwhentheRabbitactuallyTOOKAWATCHOUTOFITSWAISTCOAT-POCKET,andlookedatit,andthenhurriedon,Alicestartedtoherfeet,foritflashedacrosshermindthatshehadneverbeforeseenarabbitwitheitherawaistcoat-pocket,orawatch

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totakeoutofit,andburningwithcuriosity,sheranacrossthefieldafterit,andfortunatelywasjustintimetoseeitpopdownalargerabbit-holeunderthehedge.

InanothermomentdownwentAliceafterit,neveronceconsideringhowintheworldshewastogetoutagain.

Therabbit-holewentstraightonlikeatunnelforsomeway,andthendippedsuddenlydown,sosuddenlythatAlicehadnotamomenttothinkaboutstoppingherselfbeforeshefoundherselffallingdownaverydeepwell.

Eitherthewellwasverydeep,orshefellveryslowly,forshehadplentyoftimeasshewentdowntolookaboutherandtowonderwhatwasgoingtohappennext.First,shetriedtolookdownandmakeoutwhatshewascomingto,butitwastoodarktoseeanything;thenshelookedatthesidesofthewell,andnoticedthattheywerefilledwithcupboardsandbook-shelves;hereandthereshesawmapsandpictureshunguponpegs.Shetookdownajarfromoneoftheshelvesasshepassed;itwaslabelled'ORANGEMARMALADE',buttohergreatdisappointmentitwasempty:shedidnotliketodropthejarforfearofkillingsomebody,somanagedtoputitintooneofthecupboardsasshefellpastit.

'Well!'thoughtAlicetoherself,'aftersuchafallasthis,Ishallthinknothingoftumblingdownstairs!Howbravethey'llallthinkmeathome!Why,Iwouldn'tsayanythingaboutit,evenifIfelloffthetopofthehouse!'(Whichwasverylikelytrue.)

Down,down,down.WouldthefallNEVERcometoanend!'IwonderhowmanymilesI'vefallenbythistime?'shesaidaloud.'Imustbegettingsomewherenearthecentreoftheearth.Letmesee:thatwouldbefourthousandmilesdown,Ithink--'(for,yousee,Alicehadlearntseveralthingsofthissortinherlessonsintheschoolroom,andthoughthiswasnotaVERYgoodopportunityforshowingoffherknowledge,astherewasnoonetolistentoher,stillitwasgoodpracticetosayitover)'--yes,that'sabouttherightdistance--butthenIwonderwhatLatitude

orLongitudeI'vegotto?'(AlicehadnoideawhatLatitudewas,orLongitudeeither,butthoughttheywerenicegrandwordstosay.)

Presentlyshebeganagain.'IwonderifIshallfallrightTHROUGHtheearth!Howfunnyit'llseemtocomeoutamongthepeoplethatwalkwiththeirheadsdownward!TheAntipathies,Ithink--'(shewasrathergladthereWASnoonelistening,thistime,asitdidn'tsoundatalltherightword)'--butIshallhavetoaskthemwhatthenameofthecountryis,youknow.Please,Ma'am,isthisNewZealandorAustralia?'(andshetriedtocurtseyasshespoke--fancyCURTSEYINGasyou'refallingthroughtheair!Doyouthinkyoucouldmanageit?)'Andwhatanignorantlittlegirlshe'llthinkmeforasking!No,it'llneverdotoask:perhapsIshallseeitwrittenupsomewhere.'

Down,down,down.Therewasnothingelsetodo,soAlicesoonbegantalkingagain.'Dinah'llmissmeverymuchto-night,Ishouldthink!'(Dinahwasthecat.)'Ihopethey'llrememberhersaucerofmilkattea-time.Dinahmydear!Iwishyouweredownherewithme!Therearenomiceintheair,I'mafraid,butyoumightcatchabat,andthat'sverylikeamouse,youknow.Butdocatseatbats,Iwonder?'AndhereAlicebegantogetrathersleepy,andwentonsayingtoherself,inadreamysortofway,'Docatseatbats?Docatseatbats?'andsometimes,'Dobatseatcats?'for,yousee,asshecouldn'tanswereitherquestion,

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itdidn'tmuchmatterwhichwaysheputit.Shefeltthatshewasdozingoff,andhadjustbeguntodreamthatshewaswalkinghandinhandwithDinah,andsayingtoherveryearnestly,'Now,Dinah,tellmethetruth:didyouevereatabat?'whensuddenly,thump!thump!downshecameuponaheapofsticksanddryleaves,andthefallwasover.

Alicewasnotabithurt,andshejumpedupontoherfeetinamoment:shelookedup,butitwasalldarkoverhead;beforeherwasanotherlongpassage,andtheWhiteRabbitwasstillinsight,hurryingdownit.Therewasnotamomenttobelost:awaywentAlicelikethewind,andwasjustintimetohearitsay,asitturnedacorner,'Ohmyearsandwhiskers,howlateit'sgetting!'Shewasclosebehinditwhensheturnedthecorner,buttheRabbitwasnolongertobeseen:shefoundherselfinalong,lowhall,whichwaslitupbyarowoflampshangingfromtheroof.

Thereweredoorsallroundthehall,buttheywerealllocked;andwhenAlicehadbeenallthewaydownonesideanduptheother,tryingeverydoor,shewalkedsadlydownthemiddle,wonderinghowshewasevertogetoutagain.

Suddenlyshecameuponalittlethree-leggedtable,allmadeofsolidglass;therewasnothingonitexceptatinygoldenkey,andAlice'sfirstthoughtwasthatitmightbelongtooneofthedoorsofthehall;

but,alas!eitherthelocksweretoolarge,orthekeywastoosmall,butatanyrateitwouldnotopenanyofthem.However,onthesecondtimeround,shecameuponalowcurtainshehadnotnoticedbefore,andbehinditwasalittledooraboutfifteenincheshigh:shetriedthelittlegoldenkeyinthelock,andtohergreatdelightitfitted!

Aliceopenedthedoorandfoundthatitledintoasmallpassage,notmuchlargerthanarat-hole:shekneltdownandlookedalongthepassageintotheloveliestgardenyoueversaw.Howshelongedtogetoutofthatdarkhall,andwanderaboutamongthosebedsofbrightflowersandthosecoolfountains,butshecouldnotevengetherheadthroughthedoorway;'andevenifmyheadwouldgothrough,'thoughtpoorAlice,'itwouldbeofverylittleusewithoutmyshoulders.Oh,howIwishIcould

shutuplikeatelescope!IthinkIcould,ifIonlyknowhowtobegin.'For,yousee,somanyout-of-the-waythingshadhappenedlately,thatAlicehadbeguntothinkthatveryfewthingsindeedwerereallyimpossible.

Thereseemedtobenouseinwaitingbythelittledoor,soshewentbacktothetable,halfhopingshemightfindanotherkeyonit,oratanyrateabookofrulesforshuttingpeopleupliketelescopes:thistimeshefoundalittlebottleonit,('whichcertainlywasnotherebefore,'saidAlice,)androundtheneckofthebottlewasapaperlabel,withthewords'DRINKME'beautifullyprintedonitinlargeletters.

Itwasallverywelltosay'Drinkme,'butthewiselittleAlicewasnotgoingtodoTHATinahurry.'No,I'lllookfirst,'shesaid,'andseewhetherit'smarked"poison"ornot';forshehadreadseveralnicelittlehistoriesaboutchildrenwhohadgotburnt,andeatenupbywildbeastsandotherunpleasantthings,allbecausetheyWOULDnotrememberthesimplerulestheirfriendshadtaughtthem:suchas,thatared-hotpokerwillburnyouifyouholdittoolong;andthatifyoucutyourfingerVERYdeeplywithaknife,itusuallybleeds;andshehadneverforgottenthat,ifyoudrinkmuchfromabottlemarked'poison,'itisalmostcertaintodisagreewithyou,soonerorlater.

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However,thisbottlewasNOTmarked'poison,'soAliceventuredtotasteit,andfindingitverynice,(ithad,infact,asortofmixedflavourofcherry-tart,custard,pine-apple,roastturkey,toffee,andhotbutteredtoast,)sheverysoonfinisheditoff.

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'Whatacuriousfeeling!'saidAlice;'Imustbeshuttinguplikeatelescope.'

Andsoitwasindeed:shewasnowonlytenincheshigh,andherfacebrightenedupatthethoughtthatshewasnowtherightsizeforgoingthroughthelittledoorintothatlovelygarden.First,however,shewaitedforafewminutestoseeifshewasgoingtoshrinkanyfurther:shefeltalittlenervousaboutthis;'foritmightend,youknow,'saidAlicetoherself,'inmygoingoutaltogether,likeacandle.IwonderwhatIshouldbelikethen?'Andshetriedtofancywhattheflameofacandleislikeafterthecandleisblownout,forshecouldnotremembereverhavingseensuchathing.

Afterawhile,findingthatnothingmorehappened,shedecidedongoingintothegardenatonce;but,alasforpoorAlice!whenshegottothedoor,shefoundshehadforgottenthelittlegoldenkey,andwhenshewentbacktothetableforit,shefoundshecouldnotpossiblyreachit:shecouldseeitquiteplainlythroughtheglass,andshetriedherbesttoclimbuponeofthelegsofthetable,butitwastooslippery;andwhenshehadtiredherselfoutwithtrying,thepoorlittlethingsatdownandcried.

'Come,there'snouseincryinglikethat!'saidAlicetoherself,rathersharply;'Iadviseyoutoleaveoffthisminute!'Shegenerallygaveherselfverygoodadvice,(thoughsheveryseldomfollowedit),

andsometimesshescoldedherselfsoseverelyastobringtearsintohereyes;andoncesherememberedtryingtoboxherownearsforhavingcheatedherselfinagameofcroquetshewasplayingagainstherself,forthiscuriouschildwasveryfondofpretendingtobetwopeople.'Butit'snousenow,'thoughtpoorAlice,'topretendtobetwopeople!Why,there'shardlyenoughofmelefttomakeONErespectableperson!'

Soonhereyefellonalittleglassboxthatwaslyingunderthetable:sheopenedit,andfoundinitaverysmallcake,onwhichthewords'EATME'werebeautifullymarkedincurrants.'Well,I'lleatit,'saidAlice,'andifitmakesmegrowlarger,Icanreachthekey;andifitmakesmegrowsmaller,Icancreepunderthedoor;soeitherwayI'llgetintothegarden,andIdon'tcarewhichhappens!'

Sheatealittlebit,andsaidanxiouslytoherself,'Whichway?Whichway?',holdingherhandonthetopofherheadtofeelwhichwayitwasgrowing,andshewasquitesurprisedtofindthatsheremainedthesamesize:tobesure,thisgenerallyhappenswhenoneeatscake,butAlicehadgotsomuchintothewayofexpectingnothingbutout-of-the-waythingstohappen,thatitseemedquitedullandstupidforlifetogooninthecommonway.

Soshesettowork,andverysoonfinishedoffthecake.

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CHAPTERII.ThePoolofTears

'Curiouserandcuriouser!'criedAlice(shewassomuchsurprised,thatforthemomentshequiteforgothowtospeakgoodEnglish);'nowI'mopeningoutlikethelargesttelescopethateverwas!Good-bye,feet!'(forwhenshelookeddownatherfeet,theyseemedtobealmostoutofsight,theyweregettingsofaroff).'Oh,mypoorlittlefeet,Iwonderwhowillputonyourshoesandstockingsforyounow,dears?I'msure _I_shan'tbeable!Ishallbeagreatdealtoofarofftotroublemyselfaboutyou:youmustmanagethebestwayyoucan;--butImustbekindtothem,'thoughtAlice,'orperhapstheywon'twalkthewayIwanttogo!Letmesee:I'llgivethemanewpairofbootseveryChristmas.'

Andshewentonplanningtoherselfhowshewouldmanageit.'Theymust

gobythecarrier,'shethought;'andhowfunnyit'llseem,sendingpresentstoone'sownfeet!Andhowoddthedirectionswilllook!

ALICE'SRIGHTFOOT,ESQ.HEARTHRUG,NEARTHEFENDER,(WITHALICE'SLOVE).

Ohdear,whatnonsenseI'mtalking!'

Justthenherheadstruckagainsttheroofofthehall:infactshewasnowmorethanninefeethigh,andsheatoncetookupthelittlegoldenkeyandhurriedofftothegardendoor.

PoorAlice!Itwasasmuchasshecoulddo,lyingdownononeside,tolookthroughintothegardenwithoneeye;buttogetthroughwasmorehopelessthanever:shesatdownandbegantocryagain.

'Yououghttobeashamedofyourself,'saidAlice,'agreatgirllikeyou,'(shemightwellsaythis),'togooncryinginthisway!Stopthismoment,Itellyou!'Butshewentonallthesame,sheddinggallonsoftears,untiltherewasalargepoolallroundher,aboutfourinchesdeepandreachinghalfdownthehall.

Afteratimesheheardalittlepatteringoffeetinthedistance,andshehastilydriedhereyestoseewhatwascoming.ItwastheWhite

Rabbitreturning,splendidlydressed,withapairofwhitekidglovesinonehandandalargefanintheother:hecametrottingalonginagreathurry,mutteringtohimselfashecame,'Oh!theDuchess,theDuchess!Oh!won'tshebesavageifI'vekeptherwaiting!'Alicefeltsodesperatethatshewasreadytoaskhelpofanyone;so,whentheRabbitcamenearher,shebegan,inalow,timidvoice,'Ifyouplease,sir--'TheRabbitstartedviolently,droppedthewhitekidglovesandthefan,andskurriedawayintothedarknessashardashecouldgo.

Alicetookupthefanandgloves,and,asthehallwasveryhot,she

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keptfanningherselfallthetimeshewentontalking:'Dear,dear!Howqueereverythingisto-day!Andyesterdaythingswentonjustasusual.IwonderifI'vebeenchangedinthenight?Letmethink:wasIthesamewhenIgotupthismorning?IalmostthinkIcanrememberfeelingalittledifferent.ButifI'mnotthesame,thenextquestionis,WhointheworldamI?Ah,THAT'Sthegreatpuzzle!'Andshebeganthinkingoverallthechildrensheknewthatwereofthesameageasherself,toseeifshecouldhavebeenchangedforanyofthem.

'I'msureI'mnotAda,'shesaid,'forherhairgoesinsuchlongringlets,andminedoesn'tgoinringletsatall;andI'msureIcan'tbeMabel,forIknowallsortsofthings,andshe,oh!sheknowssuchaverylittle!Besides,SHE'Sshe,andI'mI,and--ohdear,howpuzzlingitallis!I'lltryifIknowallthethingsIusedtoknow.Letmesee:fourtimesfiveistwelve,andfourtimessixisthirteen,andfourtimessevenis--ohdear!Ishallnevergettotwentyatthatrate!However,theMultiplicationTabledoesn'tsignify:let'stryGeography.LondonisthecapitalofParis,andParisisthecapitalofRome,andRome--no,THAT'Sallwrong,I'mcertain!ImusthavebeenchangedforMabel!I'lltryandsay"Howdoththelittle--"'andshecrossedherhandsonherlapasifsheweresayinglessons,andbegantorepeatit,buthervoicesoundedhoarseandstrange,andthewordsdidnotcomethesameastheyusedtodo:--

'HowdoththelittlecrocodileImprovehisshiningtail,AndpourthewatersoftheNileOneverygoldenscale!

'Howcheerfullyheseemstogrin,Howneatlyspreadhisclaws,AndwelcomelittlefishesinWithgentlysmilingjaws!'

'I'msurethosearenottherightwords,'saidpoorAlice,andhereyesfilledwithtearsagainasshewenton,'ImustbeMabelafterall,andIshallhavetogoandliveinthatpokylittlehouse,andhavenextto

notoystoplaywith,andoh!eversomanylessonstolearn!No,I'vemadeupmymindaboutit;ifI'mMabel,I'llstaydownhere!It'llbenousetheirputtingtheirheadsdownandsaying"Comeupagain,dear!"Ishallonlylookupandsay"WhoamIthen?Tellmethatfirst,andthen,ifIlikebeingthatperson,I'llcomeup:ifnot,I'llstaydownheretillI'msomebodyelse"--but,ohdear!'criedAlice,withasuddenburstoftears,'IdowishtheyWOULDputtheirheadsdown!IamsoVERYtiredofbeingallalonehere!'

Asshesaidthisshelookeddownatherhands,andwassurprisedtoseethatshehadputononeoftheRabbit'slittlewhitekidgloveswhileshewastalking.'HowCANIhavedonethat?'shethought.'Imustbegrowingsmallagain.'Shegotupandwenttothetabletomeasure

herselfbyit,andfoundthat,asnearlyasshecouldguess,shewasnowabouttwofeethigh,andwasgoingonshrinkingrapidly:shesoonfoundoutthatthecauseofthiswasthefanshewasholding,andshedroppedithastily,justintimetoavoidshrinkingawayaltogether.

'ThatWASanarrowescape!'saidAlice,agooddealfrightenedatthesuddenchange,butverygladtofindherselfstillinexistence;'andnowforthegarden!'andsheranwithallspeedbacktothelittledoor:but,alas!thelittledoorwasshutagain,andthelittlegoldenkeywaslyingontheglasstableasbefore,'andthingsareworsethanever,'

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thoughtthepoorchild,'forIneverwassosmallasthisbefore,never!AndIdeclareit'stoobad,thatitis!'

Asshesaidthesewordsherfootslipped,andinanothermoment,splash!shewasuptoherchininsaltwater.Herfirstideawasthatshehadsomehowfallenintothesea,'andinthatcaseIcangobackbyrailway,'shesaidtoherself.(Alicehadbeentotheseasideonceinherlife,andhadcometothegeneralconclusion,thatwhereveryougotoontheEnglishcoastyoufindanumberofbathingmachinesinthesea,somechildrendigginginthesandwithwoodenspades,thenarowoflodginghouses,andbehindthemarailwaystation.)However,shesoonmadeoutthatshewasinthepooloftearswhichshehadweptwhenshewasninefeethigh.

'IwishIhadn'tcriedsomuch!'saidAlice,assheswamabout,tryingtofindherwayout.'Ishallbepunishedforitnow,Isuppose,bybeingdrownedinmyowntears!ThatWILLbeaqueerthing,tobesure!However,everythingisqueerto-day.'

Justthensheheardsomethingsplashingaboutinthepoolalittlewayoff,andsheswamnearertomakeoutwhatitwas:atfirstshethoughtitmustbeawalrusorhippopotamus,butthensherememberedhowsmallshewasnow,andshesoonmadeoutthatitwasonlyamousethathadslippedinlikeherself.

'Woulditbeofanyuse,now,'thoughtAlice,'tospeaktothismouse?Everythingissoout-of-the-waydownhere,thatIshouldthinkverylikelyitcantalk:atanyrate,there'snoharmintrying.'Soshebegan:'OMouse,doyouknowthewayoutofthispool?Iamverytiredofswimmingabouthere,OMouse!'(Alicethoughtthismustbetherightwayofspeakingtoamouse:shehadneverdonesuchathingbefore,butsherememberedhavingseeninherbrother'sLatinGrammar,'Amouse--ofamouse--toamouse--amouse--Omouse!')TheMouselookedatherratherinquisitively,andseemedtohertowinkwithoneofitslittleeyes,butitsaidnothing.

'Perhapsitdoesn'tunderstandEnglish,'thoughtAlice;'Idaresayit's

aFrenchmouse,comeoverwithWilliamtheConqueror.'(For,withallherknowledgeofhistory,Alicehadnoveryclearnotionhowlongagoanythinghadhappened.)Soshebeganagain:'Ouestmachatte?'whichwasthefirstsentenceinherFrenchlesson-book.TheMousegaveasuddenleapoutofthewater,andseemedtoquiveralloverwithfright.'Oh,Ibegyourpardon!'criedAlicehastily,afraidthatshehadhurtthepooranimal'sfeelings.'Iquiteforgotyoudidn'tlikecats.'

'Notlikecats!'criedtheMouse,inashrill,passionatevoice.'WouldYOUlikecatsifyouwereme?'

'Well,perhapsnot,'saidAliceinasoothingtone:'don'tbeangryaboutit.AndyetIwishIcouldshowyouourcatDinah:Ithinkyou'd

takeafancytocatsifyoucouldonlyseeher.Sheissuchadearquietthing,'Alicewenton,halftoherself,assheswamlazilyaboutinthepool,'andshesitspurringsonicelybythefire,lickingherpawsandwashingherface--andsheissuchanicesoftthingtonurse--andshe'ssuchacapitaloneforcatchingmice--oh,Ibegyourpardon!'criedAliceagain,forthistimetheMousewasbristlingallover,andshefeltcertainitmustbereallyoffended.'Wewon'ttalkaboutheranymoreifyou'drathernot.'

'Weindeed!'criedtheMouse,whowastremblingdowntotheendofhis

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tail.'AsifIwouldtalkonsuchasubject!OurfamilyalwaysHATEDcats:nasty,low,vulgarthings!Don'tletmehearthenameagain!'

'Iwon'tindeed!'saidAlice,inagreathurrytochangethesubjectofconversation.'Areyou--areyoufond--of--ofdogs?'TheMousedidnotanswer,soAlicewentoneagerly:'ThereissuchanicelittledognearourhouseIshouldliketoshowyou!Alittlebright-eyedterrier,youknow,withoh,suchlongcurlybrownhair!Andit'llfetchthingswhenyouthrowthem,andit'llsitupandbegforitsdinner,andallsortsofthings--Ican'trememberhalfofthem--anditbelongstoafarmer,youknow,andhesaysit'ssouseful,it'sworthahundredpounds!Hesaysitkillsalltheratsand--ohdear!'criedAliceinasorrowfultone,'I'mafraidI'veoffendeditagain!'FortheMousewasswimmingawayfromherashardasitcouldgo,andmakingquiteacommotioninthepoolasitwent.

Soshecalledsoftlyafterit,'Mousedear!Docomebackagain,andwewon'ttalkaboutcatsordogseither,ifyoudon'tlikethem!'WhentheMouseheardthis,itturnedroundandswamslowlybacktoher:itsfacewasquitepale(withpassion,Alicethought),anditsaidinalowtremblingvoice,'Letusgettotheshore,andthenI'lltellyoumyhistory,andyou'llunderstandwhyitisIhatecatsanddogs.'

Itwashightimetogo,forthepoolwasgettingquitecrowdedwiththe

birdsandanimalsthathadfallenintoit:therewereaDuckandaDodo,aLoryandanEaglet,andseveralothercuriouscreatures.Aliceledtheway,andthewholepartyswamtotheshore.

CHAPTERIII.ACaucus-RaceandaLongTale

Theywereindeedaqueer-lookingpartythatassembledonthebank--thebirdswithdraggledfeathers,theanimalswiththeirfurclingingclosetothem,andalldrippingwet,cross,anduncomfortable.

Thefirstquestionofcoursewas,howtogetdryagain:theyhadaconsultationaboutthis,andafterafewminutesitseemedquitenaturaltoAlicetofindherselftalkingfamiliarlywiththem,asifshehadknownthemallherlife.Indeed,shehadquitealongargumentwiththeLory,whoatlastturnedsulky,andwouldonlysay,'Iamolderthanyou,andmustknowbetter';andthisAlicewouldnotallowwithoutknowinghowolditwas,and,astheLorypositivelyrefusedtotellitsage,therewasnomoretobesaid.

AtlasttheMouse,whoseemedtobeapersonofauthorityamongthem,calledout,'Sitdown,allofyou,andlistentome!I'LLsoonmakeyoudryenough!'Theyallsatdownatonce,inalargering,withtheMouseinthemiddle.Alicekepthereyesanxiouslyfixedonit,forshefelt

sureshewouldcatchabadcoldifshedidnotgetdryverysoon.

'Ahem!'saidtheMousewithanimportantair,'areyouallready?ThisisthedriestthingIknow.Silenceallround,ifyouplease!"WilliamtheConqueror,whosecausewasfavouredbythepope,wassoonsubmittedtobytheEnglish,whowantedleaders,andhadbeenoflatemuchaccustomedtousurpationandconquest.EdwinandMorcar,theearlsofMerciaandNorthumbria--"'

'Ugh!'saidtheLory,withashiver.

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'Ibegyourpardon!'saidtheMouse,frowning,butverypolitely:'Didyouspeak?'

'NotI!'saidtheLoryhastily.

'Ithoughtyoudid,'saidtheMouse.'--Iproceed."EdwinandMorcar,theearlsofMerciaandNorthumbria,declaredforhim:andevenStigand,thepatrioticarchbishopofCanterbury,founditadvisable--"'

'FoundWHAT?'saidtheDuck.

'FoundIT,'theMouserepliedrathercrossly:'ofcourseyouknowwhat"it"means.'

'Iknowwhat"it"meanswellenough,whenIfindathing,'saidtheDuck:'it'sgenerallyafrogoraworm.Thequestionis,whatdidthearchbishopfind?'

TheMousedidnotnoticethisquestion,buthurriedlywenton,'"--founditadvisabletogowithEdgarAthelingtomeetWilliamandofferhimthecrown.William'sconductatfirstwasmoderate.ButtheinsolenceofhisNormans--"Howareyougettingonnow,mydear?'itcontinued,turningtoAliceasitspoke.

'Aswetasever,'saidAliceinamelancholytone:'itdoesn'tseemtodrymeatall.'

'Inthatcase,'saidtheDodosolemnly,risingtoitsfeet,'Imovethatthemeetingadjourn,fortheimmediateadoptionofmoreenergeticremedies--'

'SpeakEnglish!'saidtheEaglet.'Idon'tknowthemeaningofhalfthoselongwords,and,what'smore,Idon'tbelieveyoudoeither!'AndtheEagletbentdownitsheadtohideasmile:someoftheotherbirdstitteredaudibly.

'WhatIwasgoingtosay,'saidtheDodoinanoffendedtone,'was,thatthebestthingtogetusdrywouldbeaCaucus-race.'

'WhatISaCaucus-race?'saidAlice;notthatshewantedmuchtoknow,buttheDodohadpausedasifitthoughtthatSOMEBODYoughttospeak,andnooneelseseemedinclinedtosayanything.

'Why,'saidtheDodo,'thebestwaytoexplainitistodoit.'(And,asyoumightliketotrythethingyourself,somewinterday,IwilltellyouhowtheDodomanagedit.)

Firstitmarkedoutarace-course,inasortofcircle,('theexactshapedoesn'tmatter,'itsaid,)andthenallthepartywereplaced

alongthecourse,hereandthere.Therewasno'One,two,three,andaway,'buttheybeganrunningwhentheyliked,andleftoffwhentheyliked,sothatitwasnoteasytoknowwhentheracewasover.However,whentheyhadbeenrunninghalfanhourorso,andwerequitedryagain,theDodosuddenlycalledout'Theraceisover!'andtheyallcrowdedroundit,panting,andasking,'Butwhohaswon?'

ThisquestiontheDodocouldnotanswerwithoutagreatdealofthought,anditsatforalongtimewithonefingerpresseduponitsforehead(thepositioninwhichyouusuallyseeShakespeare,inthepictures

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ofhim),whiletherestwaitedinsilence.AtlasttheDodosaid,'EVERYBODYhaswon,andallmusthaveprizes.'

'Butwhoistogivetheprizes?'quiteachorusofvoicesasked.

'Why,SHE,ofcourse,'saidtheDodo,pointingtoAlicewithonefinger;andthewholepartyatoncecrowdedroundher,callingoutinaconfusedway,'Prizes!Prizes!'

Alicehadnoideawhattodo,andindespairsheputherhandinherpocket,andpulledoutaboxofcomfits,(luckilythesaltwaterhadnotgotintoit),andhandedthemroundasprizes.Therewasexactlyonea-pieceallround.

'Butshemusthaveaprizeherself,youknow,'saidtheMouse.

'Ofcourse,'theDodorepliedverygravely.'Whatelsehaveyougotinyourpocket?'hewenton,turningtoAlice.

'Onlyathimble,'saidAlicesadly.

'Handitoverhere,'saidtheDodo.

Thentheyallcrowdedroundheroncemore,whiletheDodosolemnly

presentedthethimble,saying'Webegyouracceptanceofthiselegantthimble';and,whenithadfinishedthisshortspeech,theyallcheered.

Alicethoughtthewholethingveryabsurd,buttheyalllookedsogravethatshedidnotdaretolaugh;and,asshecouldnotthinkofanythingtosay,shesimplybowed,andtookthethimble,lookingassolemnasshecould.

Thenextthingwastoeatthecomfits:thiscausedsomenoiseandconfusion,asthelargebirdscomplainedthattheycouldnottastetheirs,andthesmalloneschokedandhadtobepattedontheback.However,itwasoveratlast,andtheysatdownagaininaring,andbeggedtheMousetotellthemsomethingmore.

'Youpromisedtotellmeyourhistory,youknow,'saidAlice,'andwhyitisyouhate--CandD,'sheaddedinawhisper,halfafraidthatitwouldbeoffendedagain.

'Mineisalongandasadtale!'saidtheMouse,turningtoAlice,andsighing.

'ItISalongtail,certainly,'saidAlice,lookingdownwithwonderattheMouse'stail;'butwhydoyoucallitsad?'AndshekeptonpuzzlingaboutitwhiletheMousewasspeaking,sothatherideaofthetalewassomethinglikethis:--

'Furysaidtoamouse,Thathemetinthehouse,"Letusbothgotolaw:IwillprosecuteYOU.--Come,I'lltakeno

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denial;Wemusthaveatrial:ForreallythismorningI'venothingtodo."Saidthemousetothecur,"Suchatrial,dearSir,Withnojuryorjudge,wouldbewastingourbreath.""I'llbejudge,I'llbejury,"Saidcunning

oldFury:"I'lltrythewholecause,andcondemnyoutodeath."'

'Youarenotattending!'saidtheMousetoAliceseverely.'Whatareyou

thinkingof?'

'Ibegyourpardon,'saidAliceveryhumbly:'youhadgottothefifthbend,Ithink?'

'IhadNOT!'criedtheMouse,sharplyandveryangrily.

'Aknot!'saidAlice,alwaysreadytomakeherselfuseful,andlookinganxiouslyabouther.'Oh,doletmehelptoundoit!'

'Ishalldonothingofthesort,'saidtheMouse,gettingupandwalkingaway.'Youinsultmebytalkingsuchnonsense!'

'Ididn'tmeanit!'pleadedpoorAlice.'Butyou'resoeasilyoffended,youknow!'

TheMouseonlygrowledinreply.

'Pleasecomebackandfinishyourstory!'Alicecalledafterit;andtheothersalljoinedinchorus,'Yes,pleasedo!'buttheMouseonlyshookitsheadimpatiently,andwalkedalittlequicker.

'Whatapityitwouldn'tstay!'sighedtheLory,assoonasitwasquite

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outofsight;andanoldCrabtooktheopportunityofsayingtoherdaughter'Ah,mydear!LetthisbealessontoyounevertoloseYOURtemper!''Holdyourtongue,Ma!'saidtheyoungCrab,alittlesnappishly.'You'reenoughtotrythepatienceofanoyster!'

'IwishIhadourDinahhere,IknowIdo!'saidAlicealoud,addressingnobodyinparticular.'She'dsoonfetchitback!'

'AndwhoisDinah,ifImightventuretoaskthequestion?'saidtheLory.

Alicerepliedeagerly,forshewasalwaysreadytotalkaboutherpet:'Dinah'sourcat.Andshe'ssuchacapitaloneforcatchingmiceyoucan'tthink!Andoh,Iwishyoucouldseeherafterthebirds!Why,she'lleatalittlebirdassoonaslookatit!'

Thisspeechcausedaremarkablesensationamongtheparty.Someofthebirdshurriedoffatonce:oneoldMagpiebeganwrappingitselfupverycarefully,remarking,'Ireallymustbegettinghome;thenight-airdoesn'tsuitmythroat!'andaCanarycalledoutinatremblingvoicetoitschildren,'Comeaway,mydears!It'shightimeyouwereallinbed!'Onvariouspretextstheyallmovedoff,andAlicewassoonleftalone.

'IwishIhadn'tmentionedDinah!'shesaidtoherselfinamelancholy

tone.'Nobodyseemstolikeher,downhere,andI'msureshe'sthebestcatintheworld!Oh,mydearDinah!IwonderifIshalleverseeyouanymore!'AndherepoorAlicebegantocryagain,forshefeltverylonelyandlow-spirited.Inalittlewhile,however,sheagainheardalittlepatteringoffootstepsinthedistance,andshelookedupeagerly,halfhopingthattheMousehadchangedhismind,andwascomingbacktofinishhisstory.

CHAPTERIV.TheRabbitSendsinaLittleBill

ItwastheWhiteRabbit,trottingslowlybackagain,andlookinganxiouslyaboutasitwent,asifithadlostsomething;andshehearditmutteringtoitself'TheDuchess!TheDuchess!Ohmydearpaws!Ohmyfurandwhiskers!She'llgetmeexecuted,assureasferretsareferrets!WhereCANIhavedroppedthem,Iwonder?'Aliceguessedinamomentthatitwaslookingforthefanandthepairofwhitekidgloves,andsheverygood-naturedlybeganhuntingaboutforthem,buttheywerenowheretobeseen--everythingseemedtohavechangedsinceherswiminthepool,andthegreathall,withtheglasstableandthelittledoor,hadvanishedcompletely.

VerysoontheRabbitnoticedAlice,asshewenthuntingabout,andcalledouttoherinanangrytone,'Why,MaryAnn,whatAREyoudoing

outhere?Runhomethismoment,andfetchmeapairofglovesandafan!Quick,now!'AndAlicewassomuchfrightenedthatsheranoffatonceinthedirectionitpointedto,withouttryingtoexplainthemistakeithadmade.

'Hetookmeforhishousemaid,'shesaidtoherselfassheran.'Howsurprisedhe'llbewhenhefindsoutwhoIam!ButI'dbettertakehimhisfanandgloves--thatis,ifIcanfindthem.'Asshesaidthis,shecameuponaneatlittlehouse,onthedoorofwhichwasabrightbrassplatewiththename'W.RABBIT'engraveduponit.Shewentinwithout

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knocking,andhurriedupstairs,ingreatfearlestsheshouldmeettherealMaryAnn,andbeturnedoutofthehousebeforeshehadfoundthefanandgloves.

'Howqueeritseems,'Alicesaidtoherself,'tobegoingmessagesforarabbit!IsupposeDinah'llbesendingmeonmessagesnext!'Andshebeganfancyingthesortofthingthatwouldhappen:'"MissAlice!Comeheredirectly,andgetreadyforyourwalk!""Cominginaminute,nurse!ButI'vegottoseethatthemousedoesn'tgetout."OnlyIdon'tthink,'Alicewenton,'thatthey'dletDinahstopinthehouseifitbeganorderingpeopleaboutlikethat!'

Bythistimeshehadfoundherwayintoatidylittleroomwithatableinthewindow,andonit(asshehadhoped)afanandtwoorthreepairsoftinywhitekidgloves:shetookupthefanandapairofthegloves,andwasjustgoingtoleavetheroom,whenhereyefelluponalittlebottlethatstoodnearthelooking-glass.Therewasnolabelthistimewiththewords'DRINKME,'butneverthelesssheuncorkeditandputittoherlips.'IknowSOMETHINGinterestingissuretohappen,'shesaidtoherself,'wheneverIeatordrinkanything;soI'lljustseewhatthisbottledoes.Idohopeit'llmakemegrowlargeagain,forreallyI'mquitetiredofbeingsuchatinylittlething!'

Itdidsoindeed,andmuchsoonerthanshehadexpected:beforeshehad

drunkhalfthebottle,shefoundherheadpressingagainsttheceiling,andhadtostooptosaveherneckfrombeingbroken.Shehastilyputdownthebottle,sayingtoherself'That'squiteenough--IhopeIshan'tgrowanymore--Asitis,Ican'tgetoutatthedoor--IdowishIhadn'tdrunkquitesomuch!'

Alas!itwastoolatetowishthat!Shewentongrowing,andgrowing,andverysoonhadtokneeldownonthefloor:inanotherminutetherewasnotevenroomforthis,andshetriedtheeffectoflyingdownwithoneelbowagainstthedoor,andtheotherarmcurledroundherhead.Stillshewentongrowing,and,asalastresource,sheputonearmoutofthewindow,andonefootupthechimney,andsaidtoherself'NowIcandonomore,whateverhappens.WhatWILLbecomeofme?'

LuckilyforAlice,thelittlemagicbottlehadnowhaditsfulleffect,andshegrewnolarger:stillitwasveryuncomfortable,and,asthereseemedtobenosortofchanceofherevergettingoutoftheroomagain,nowondershefeltunhappy.

'Itwasmuchpleasanterathome,'thoughtpoorAlice,'whenonewasn'talwaysgrowinglargerandsmaller,andbeingorderedaboutbymiceandrabbits.IalmostwishIhadn'tgonedownthatrabbit-hole--andyet--andyet--it'srathercurious,youknow,thissortoflife!IdowonderwhatCANhavehappenedtome!WhenIusedtoreadfairy-tales,Ifanciedthatkindofthingneverhappened,andnowhereIaminthemiddleofone!Thereoughttobeabookwrittenaboutme,thatthereought!AndwhenI

growup,I'llwriteone--butI'mgrownupnow,'sheaddedinasorrowfultone;'atleastthere'snoroomtogrowupanymoreHERE.'

'Butthen,'thoughtAlice,'shallINEVERgetanyolderthanIamnow?That'llbeacomfort,oneway--nevertobeanoldwoman--butthen--alwaystohavelessonstolearn!Oh,Ishouldn'tlikeTHAT!'

'Oh,youfoolishAlice!'sheansweredherself.'Howcanyoulearnlessonsinhere?Why,there'shardlyroomforYOU,andnoroomatallforanylesson-books!'

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Andsoshewenton,takingfirstonesideandthentheother,andmakingquiteaconversationofitaltogether;butafterafewminutessheheardavoiceoutside,andstoppedtolisten.

'MaryAnn!MaryAnn!'saidthevoice.'Fetchmemyglovesthismoment!'Thencamealittlepatteringoffeetonthestairs.AliceknewitwastheRabbitcomingtolookforher,andshetrembledtillsheshookthehouse,quiteforgettingthatshewasnowaboutathousandtimesaslargeastheRabbit,andhadnoreasontobeafraidofit.

PresentlytheRabbitcameuptothedoor,andtriedtoopenit;but,asthedooropenedinwards,andAlice'selbowwaspressedhardagainstit,thatattemptprovedafailure.Alicehearditsaytoitself'ThenI'llgoroundandgetinatthewindow.'

'THATyouwon't'thoughtAlice,and,afterwaitingtillshefanciedsheheardtheRabbitjustunderthewindow,shesuddenlyspreadoutherhand,andmadeasnatchintheair.Shedidnotgetholdofanything,butsheheardalittleshriekandafall,andacrashofbrokenglass,fromwhichsheconcludedthatitwasjustpossibleithadfallenintoacucumber-frame,orsomethingofthesort.

Nextcameanangryvoice--theRabbit's--'Pat!Pat!Whereareyou?'And

thenavoiceshehadneverheardbefore,'SurethenI'mhere!Diggingforapples,yerhonour!'

'Diggingforapples,indeed!'saidtheRabbitangrily.'Here!ComeandhelpmeoutofTHIS!'(Soundsofmorebrokenglass.)

'Nowtellme,Pat,what'sthatinthewindow?'

'Sure,it'sanarm,yerhonour!'(Hepronouncedit'arrum.')

'Anarm,yougoose!Whoeversawonethatsize?Why,itfillsthewholewindow!'

'Sure,itdoes,yerhonour:butit'sanarmforallthat.'

'Well,it'sgotnobusinessthere,atanyrate:goandtakeitaway!'

Therewasalongsilenceafterthis,andAlicecouldonlyhearwhispersnowandthen;suchas,'Sure,Idon'tlikeit,yerhonour,atall,atall!''DoasItellyou,youcoward!'andatlastshespreadoutherhandagain,andmadeanothersnatchintheair.ThistimetherewereTWOlittleshrieks,andmoresoundsofbrokenglass.'Whatanumberofcucumber-framestheremustbe!'thoughtAlice.'Iwonderwhatthey'lldonext!Asforpullingmeoutofthewindow,IonlywishtheyCOULD!I'msureIdon'twanttostayinhereanylonger!'

Shewaitedforsometimewithouthearinganythingmore:atlastcamearumblingoflittlecartwheels,andthesoundofagoodmanyvoicesalltalkingtogether:shemadeoutthewords:'Where'stheotherladder?--Why,Ihadn'ttobringbutone;Bill'sgottheother--Bill!fetchithere,lad!--Here,put'emupatthiscorner--No,tie'emtogetherfirst--theydon'treachhalfhighenoughyet--Oh!they'lldowellenough;don'tbeparticular--Here,Bill!catchholdofthisrope--Willtheroofbear?--Mindthatlooseslate--Oh,it'scomingdown!Headsbelow!'(aloudcrash)--'Now,whodidthat?--ItwasBill,Ifancy--Who'stogodownthechimney?--Nay,Ishan't!YOUdoit!--ThatI

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won't,then!--Bill'stogodown--Here,Bill!themastersaysyou'retogodownthechimney!'

'Oh!SoBill'sgottocomedownthechimney,hashe?'saidAlicetoherself.'Shy,theyseemtoputeverythinguponBill!Iwouldn'tbeinBill'splaceforagooddeal:thisfireplaceisnarrow,tobesure;butITHINKIcankickalittle!'

Shedrewherfootasfardownthechimneyasshecould,andwaitedtillsheheardalittleanimal(shecouldn'tguessofwhatsortitwas)scratchingandscramblingaboutinthechimneycloseaboveher:then,sayingtoherself'ThisisBill,'shegaveonesharpkick,andwaitedtoseewhatwouldhappennext.

Thefirstthingsheheardwasageneralchorusof'TheregoesBill!'thentheRabbit'svoicealong--'Catchhim,youbythehedge!'thensilence,andthenanotherconfusionofvoices--'Holduphishead--Brandynow--Don'tchokehim--Howwasit,oldfellow?Whathappenedtoyou?Tellusallaboutit!'

Lastcamealittlefeeble,squeakingvoice,('That'sBill,'thoughtAlice,)'Well,Ihardlyknow--Nomore,thankye;I'mbetternow--butI'madealtooflusteredtotellyou--allIknowis,somethingcomesatmelikeaJack-in-the-box,andupIgoeslikeasky-rocket!'

'Soyoudid,oldfellow!'saidtheothers.

'Wemustburnthehousedown!'saidtheRabbit'svoice;andAlicecalledoutasloudasshecould,'Ifyoudo.I'llsetDinahatyou!'

Therewasadeadsilenceinstantly,andAlicethoughttoherself,'IwonderwhattheyWILLdonext!Iftheyhadanysense,they'dtaketheroofoff.'Afteraminuteortwo,theybeganmovingaboutagain,andAliceheardtheRabbitsay,'Abarrowfulwilldo,tobeginwith.'

'AbarrowfulofWHAT?'thoughtAlice;butshehadnotlongtodoubt,forthenextmomentashoweroflittlepebblescamerattlinginatthe

window,andsomeofthemhitherintheface.'I'llputastoptothis,'shesaidtoherself,andshoutedout,'You'dbetternotdothatagain!'whichproducedanotherdeadsilence.

Alicenoticedwithsomesurprisethatthepebbleswereallturningintolittlecakesastheylayonthefloor,andabrightideacameintoherhead.'IfIeatoneofthesecakes,'shethought,'it'ssuretomakeSOMEchangeinmysize;andasitcan'tpossiblymakemelarger,itmustmakemesmaller,Isuppose.'

Sosheswallowedoneofthecakes,andwasdelightedtofindthatshebeganshrinkingdirectly.Assoonasshewassmallenoughtogetthroughthedoor,sheranoutofthehouse,andfoundquiteacrowdoflittle

animalsandbirdswaitingoutside.ThepoorlittleLizard,Bill,wasinthemiddle,beingheldupbytwoguinea-pigs,whoweregivingitsomethingoutofabottle.TheyallmadearushatAlicethemomentsheappeared;butsheranoffashardasshecould,andsoonfoundherselfsafeinathickwood.

'ThefirstthingI'vegottodo,'saidAlicetoherself,asshewanderedaboutinthewood,'istogrowtomyrightsizeagain;andthesecondthingistofindmywayintothatlovelygarden.Ithinkthatwillbethebestplan.'

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Itsoundedanexcellentplan,nodoubt,andveryneatlyandsimplyarranged;theonlydifficultywas,thatshehadnotthesmallestideahowtosetaboutit;andwhileshewaspeeringaboutanxiouslyamongthetrees,alittlesharpbarkjustoverherheadmadeherlookupinagreathurry.

Anenormouspuppywaslookingdownatherwithlargeroundeyes,andfeeblystretchingoutonepaw,tryingtotouchher.'Poorlittlething!'saidAlice,inacoaxingtone,andshetriedhardtowhistletoit;butshewasterriblyfrightenedallthetimeatthethoughtthatitmightbehungry,inwhichcaseitwouldbeverylikelytoeatherupinspiteofallhercoaxing.

Hardlyknowingwhatshedid,shepickedupalittlebitofstick,andhelditouttothepuppy;whereuponthepuppyjumpedintotheairoffallitsfeetatonce,withayelpofdelight,andrushedatthestick,andmadebelievetoworryit;thenAlicedodgedbehindagreatthistle,tokeepherselffrombeingrunover;andthemomentsheappearedontheotherside,thepuppymadeanotherrushatthestick,andtumbledheadoverheelsinitshurrytogetholdofit;thenAlice,thinkingitwasverylikehavingagameofplaywithacart-horse,andexpectingeverymomenttobetrampledunderitsfeet,ranroundthethistleagain;thenthepuppybeganaseriesofshortchargesatthestick,runningavery

littlewayforwardseachtimeandalongwayback,andbarkinghoarselyallthewhile,tillatlastitsatdownagoodwayoff,panting,withitstonguehangingoutofitsmouth,anditsgreateyeshalfshut.

ThisseemedtoAliceagoodopportunityformakingherescape;soshesetoffatonce,andrantillshewasquitetiredandoutofbreath,andtillthepuppy'sbarksoundedquitefaintinthedistance.

'Andyetwhatadearlittlepuppyitwas!'saidAlice,assheleantagainstabuttercuptorestherself,andfannedherselfwithoneoftheleaves:'Ishouldhavelikedteachingittricksverymuch,if--ifI'donlybeentherightsizetodoit!Ohdear!I'dnearlyforgottenthatI'vegottogrowupagain!Letmesee--howISittobemanaged?I

supposeIoughttoeatordrinksomethingorother;butthegreatquestionis,what?'

Thegreatquestioncertainlywas,what?Alicelookedallroundherattheflowersandthebladesofgrass,butshedidnotseeanythingthatlookedliketherightthingtoeatordrinkunderthecircumstances.Therewasalargemushroomgrowingnearher,aboutthesameheightasherself;andwhenshehadlookedunderit,andonbothsidesofit,andbehindit,itoccurredtoherthatshemightaswelllookandseewhatwasonthetopofit.

Shestretchedherselfupontiptoe,andpeepedovertheedgeofthemushroom,andhereyesimmediatelymetthoseofalargecaterpillar,

thatwassittingonthetopwithitsarmsfolded,quietlysmokingalonghookah,andtakingnotthesmallestnoticeofherorofanythingelse.

CHAPTERV.AdvicefromaCaterpillar

TheCaterpillarandAlicelookedateachotherforsometimeinsilence:atlasttheCaterpillartookthehookahoutofitsmouth,andaddressed

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herinalanguid,sleepyvoice.

'WhoareYOU?'saidtheCaterpillar.

Thiswasnotanencouragingopeningforaconversation.Alicereplied,rathershyly,'I--Ihardlyknow,sir,justatpresent--atleastIknowwhoIWASwhenIgotupthismorning,butIthinkImusthavebeenchangedseveraltimessincethen.'

'Whatdoyoumeanbythat?'saidtheCaterpillarsternly.'Explainyourself!'

'Ican'texplainMYSELF,I'mafraid,sir'saidAlice,'becauseI'mnotmyself,yousee.'

'Idon'tsee,'saidtheCaterpillar.

'I'mafraidIcan'tputitmoreclearly,'Alicerepliedverypolitely,'forIcan'tunderstanditmyselftobeginwith;andbeingsomanydifferentsizesinadayisveryconfusing.'

'Itisn't,'saidtheCaterpillar.

'Well,perhapsyouhaven'tfounditsoyet,'saidAlice;'butwhenyou

havetoturnintoachrysalis--youwillsomeday,youknow--andthenafterthatintoabutterfly,Ishouldthinkyou'llfeelitalittlequeer,won'tyou?'

'Notabit,'saidtheCaterpillar.

'Well,perhapsyourfeelingsmaybedifferent,'saidAlice;'allIknowis,itwouldfeelveryqueertoME.'

'You!'saidtheCaterpillarcontemptuously.'WhoareYOU?'

Whichbroughtthembackagaintothebeginningoftheconversation.AlicefeltalittleirritatedattheCaterpillar'smakingsuchVERY

shortremarks,andshedrewherselfupandsaid,verygravely,'Ithink,yououghttotellmewhoYOUare,first.'

'Why?'saidtheCaterpillar.

Herewasanotherpuzzlingquestion;andasAlicecouldnotthinkofanygoodreason,andastheCaterpillarseemedtobeinaVERYunpleasantstateofmind,sheturnedaway.

'Comeback!'theCaterpillarcalledafterher.'I'vesomethingimportanttosay!'

Thissoundedpromising,certainly:Aliceturnedandcamebackagain.

'Keepyourtemper,'saidtheCaterpillar.

'Isthatall?'saidAlice,swallowingdownherangeraswellasshecould.

'No,'saidtheCaterpillar.

Alicethoughtshemightaswellwait,asshehadnothingelsetodo,andperhapsafterallitmighttellhersomethingworthhearing.Forsome

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minutesitpuffedawaywithoutspeaking,butatlastitunfoldeditsarms,tookthehookahoutofitsmouthagain,andsaid,'Soyouthinkyou'rechanged,doyou?'

'I'mafraidIam,sir,'saidAlice;'Ican'trememberthingsasIused--andIdon'tkeepthesamesizefortenminutestogether!'

'Can'trememberWHATthings?'saidtheCaterpillar.

'Well,I'vetriedtosay"HOWDOTHTHELITTLEBUSYBEE,"butitallcamedifferent!'Alicerepliedinaverymelancholyvoice.

'Repeat,"YOUAREOLD,FATHERWILLIAM,"'saidtheCaterpillar.

Alicefoldedherhands,andbegan:--

'Youareold,FatherWilliam,'theyoungmansaid,'Andyourhairhasbecomeverywhite;Andyetyouincessantlystandonyourhead--Doyouthink,atyourage,itisright?'

'Inmyyouth,'FatherWilliamrepliedtohisson,'Ifeareditmightinjurethebrain;But,nowthatI'mperfectlysureIhavenone,

Why,Idoitagainandagain.'

'Youareold,'saidtheyouth,'asImentionedbefore,Andhavegrownmostuncommonlyfat;Yetyouturnedaback-somersaultinatthedoor--Pray,whatisthereasonofthat?'

'Inmyyouth,'saidthesage,asheshookhisgreylocks,'IkeptallmylimbsverysuppleBytheuseofthisointment--oneshillingthebox--Allowmetosellyouacouple?'

'Youareold,'saidtheyouth,'andyourjawsaretooweak

Foranythingtougherthansuet;Yetyoufinishedthegoose,withthebonesandthebeak--Prayhowdidyoumanagetodoit?'

'Inmyyouth,'saidhisfather,'Itooktothelaw,Andarguedeachcasewithmywife;Andthemuscularstrength,whichitgavetomyjaw,Haslastedtherestofmylife.'

'Youareold,'saidtheyouth,'onewouldhardlysupposeThatyoureyewasassteadyasever;Yetyoubalancedaneelontheendofyournose--Whatmadeyousoawfullyclever?'

'Ihaveansweredthreequestions,andthatisenough,'Saidhisfather;'don'tgiveyourselfairs!DoyouthinkIcanlistenalldaytosuchstuff?Beoff,orI'llkickyoudownstairs!'

'Thatisnotsaidright,'saidtheCaterpillar.

'NotQUITEright,I'mafraid,'saidAlice,timidly;'someofthewords

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havegotaltered.'

'Itiswrongfrombeginningtoend,'saidtheCaterpillardecidedly,andtherewassilenceforsomeminutes.

TheCaterpillarwasthefirsttospeak.

'Whatsizedoyouwanttobe?'itasked.

'Oh,I'mnotparticularastosize,'Alicehastilyreplied;'onlyonedoesn'tlikechangingsooften,youknow.'

'IDON'Tknow,'saidtheCaterpillar.

Alicesaidnothing:shehadneverbeensomuchcontradictedinherlifebefore,andshefeltthatshewaslosinghertemper.

'Areyoucontentnow?'saidtheCaterpillar.

'Well,IshouldliketobeaLITTLElarger,sir,ifyouwouldn'tmind,'saidAlice:'threeinchesissuchawretchedheighttobe.'

'Itisaverygoodheightindeed!'saidtheCaterpillarangrily,rearingitselfuprightasitspoke(itwasexactlythreeincheshigh).

'ButI'mnotusedtoit!'pleadedpoorAliceinapiteoustone.Andshethoughtofherself,'Iwishthecreatureswouldn'tbesoeasilyoffended!'

'You'llgetusedtoitintime,'saidtheCaterpillar;anditputthehookahintoitsmouthandbegansmokingagain.

ThistimeAlicewaitedpatientlyuntilitchosetospeakagain.InaminuteortwotheCaterpillartookthehookahoutofitsmouthandyawnedonceortwice,andshookitself.Thenitgotdownoffthemushroom,andcrawledawayinthegrass,merelyremarkingasitwent,'Onesidewillmakeyougrowtaller,andtheothersidewillmakeyou

growshorter.'

'OnesideofWHAT?TheothersideofWHAT?'thoughtAlicetoherself.

'Ofthemushroom,'saidtheCaterpillar,justasifshehadaskeditaloud;andinanothermomentitwasoutofsight.

Aliceremainedlookingthoughtfullyatthemushroomforaminute,tryingtomakeoutwhichwerethetwosidesofit;andasitwasperfectlyround,shefoundthisaverydifficultquestion.However,atlastshestretchedherarmsrounditasfarastheywouldgo,andbrokeoffabitoftheedgewitheachhand.

'Andnowwhichiswhich?'shesaidtoherself,andnibbledalittleoftheright-handbittotrytheeffect:thenextmomentshefeltaviolentblowunderneathherchin:ithadstruckherfoot!

Shewasagooddealfrightenedbythisverysuddenchange,butshefeltthattherewasnotimetobelost,asshewasshrinkingrapidly;soshesettoworkatoncetoeatsomeoftheotherbit.Herchinwaspressedsocloselyagainstherfoot,thattherewashardlyroomtoopenhermouth;butshediditatlast,andmanagedtoswallowamorselofthelefthandbit.

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*******

******

*******

'Come,myhead'sfreeatlast!'saidAliceinatoneofdelight,whichchangedintoalarminanothermoment,whenshefoundthathershoulderswerenowheretobefound:allshecouldsee,whenshelookeddown,wasanimmenselengthofneck,whichseemedtoriselikeastalkoutofaseaofgreenleavesthatlayfarbelowher.

'WhatCANallthatgreenstuffbe?'saidAlice.'AndwhereHAVEmyshouldersgotto?Andoh,mypoorhands,howisitIcan'tseeyou?'Shewasmovingthemaboutasshespoke,butnoresultseemedtofollow,exceptalittleshakingamongthedistantgreenleaves.

Asthereseemedtobenochanceofgettingherhandsuptoherhead,shetriedtogetherheaddowntothem,andwasdelightedtofindthatherneckwouldbendabouteasilyinanydirection,likeaserpent.Shehadjustsucceededincurvingitdownintoagracefulzigzag,andwasgoingtodiveinamongtheleaves,whichshefoundtobenothingbutthetops

ofthetreesunderwhichshehadbeenwandering,whenasharphissmadeherdrawbackinahurry:alargepigeonhadflownintoherface,andwasbeatingherviolentlywithitswings.

'Serpent!'screamedthePigeon.

'I'mNOTaserpent!'saidAliceindignantly.'Letmealone!'

'Serpent,Isayagain!'repeatedthePigeon,butinamoresubduedtone,andaddedwithakindofsob,'I'vetriedeveryway,andnothingseemstosuitthem!'

'Ihaven'ttheleastideawhatyou'retalkingabout,'saidAlice.

'I'vetriedtherootsoftrees,andI'vetriedbanks,andI'vetriedhedges,'thePigeonwenton,withoutattendingtoher;'butthoseserpents!There'snopleasingthem!'

Alicewasmoreandmorepuzzled,butshethoughttherewasnouseinsayinganythingmoretillthePigeonhadfinished.

'Asifitwasn'ttroubleenoughhatchingtheeggs,'saidthePigeon;'butImustbeonthelook-outforserpentsnightandday!Why,Ihaven'thadawinkofsleepthesethreeweeks!'

'I'mverysorryyou'vebeenannoyed,'saidAlice,whowasbeginningto

seeitsmeaning.

'AndjustasI'dtakenthehighesttreeinthewood,'continuedthePigeon,raisingitsvoicetoashriek,'andjustasIwasthinkingIshouldbefreeofthematlast,theymustneedscomewrigglingdownfromthesky!Ugh,Serpent!'

'ButI'mNOTaserpent,Itellyou!'saidAlice.'I'ma--I'ma--'

'Well!WHATareyou?'saidthePigeon.'Icanseeyou'retryingto

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inventsomething!'

'I--I'malittlegirl,'saidAlice,ratherdoubtfully,assherememberedthenumberofchangesshehadgonethroughthatday.

'Alikelystoryindeed!'saidthePigeoninatoneofthedeepestcontempt.'I'veseenagoodmanylittlegirlsinmytime,butneverONEwithsuchaneckasthat!No,no!You'reaserpent;andthere'snousedenyingit.Isupposeyou'llbetellingmenextthatyounevertastedanegg!'

'IHAVEtastedeggs,certainly,'saidAlice,whowasaverytruthfulchild;'butlittlegirlseateggsquiteasmuchasserpentsdo,youknow.'

'Idon'tbelieveit,'saidthePigeon;'butiftheydo,whythenthey'reakindofserpent,that'sallIcansay.'

ThiswassuchanewideatoAlice,thatshewasquitesilentforaminuteortwo,whichgavethePigeontheopportunityofadding,'You'relookingforeggs,IknowTHATwellenough;andwhatdoesitmattertomewhetheryou'realittlegirloraserpent?'

'ItmattersagooddealtoME,'saidAlicehastily;'butI'mnotlooking

foreggs,asithappens;andifIwas,Ishouldn'twantYOURS:Idon'tlikethemraw.'

'Well,beoff,then!'saidthePigeoninasulkytone,asitsettleddownagainintoitsnest.Alicecroucheddownamongthetreesaswellasshecould,forherneckkeptgettingentangledamongthebranches,andeverynowandthenshehadtostopanduntwistit.Afterawhilesherememberedthatshestillheldthepiecesofmushroominherhands,andshesettoworkverycarefully,nibblingfirstatoneandthenattheother,andgrowingsometimestallerandsometimesshorter,untilshehadsucceededinbringingherselfdowntoherusualheight.

Itwassolongsinceshehadbeenanythingneartherightsize,thatit

feltquitestrangeatfirst;butshegotusedtoitinafewminutes,andbegantalkingtoherself,asusual.'Come,there'shalfmyplandonenow!Howpuzzlingallthesechangesare!I'mneversurewhatI'mgoingtobe,fromoneminutetoanother!However,I'vegotbacktomyrightsize:thenextthingis,togetintothatbeautifulgarden--howISthattobedone,Iwonder?'Asshesaidthis,shecamesuddenlyuponanopenplace,withalittlehouseinitaboutfourfeethigh.'Whoeverlivesthere,'thoughtAlice,'it'llneverdotocomeuponthemTHISsize:why,Ishouldfrightenthemoutoftheirwits!'Soshebegannibblingattherighthandbitagain,anddidnotventuretogonearthehousetillshehadbroughtherselfdowntonineincheshigh.

CHAPTERVI.PigandPepper

Foraminuteortwoshestoodlookingatthehouse,andwonderingwhattodonext,whensuddenlyafootmaninliverycamerunningoutofthewood--(sheconsideredhimtobeafootmanbecausehewasinlivery:otherwise,judgingbyhisfaceonly,shewouldhavecalledhimafish)--andrappedloudlyatthedoorwithhisknuckles.Itwasopenedbyanotherfootmaninlivery,witharoundface,andlargeeyeslikea

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frog;andbothfootmen,Alicenoticed,hadpowderedhairthatcurledallovertheirheads.Shefeltverycurioustoknowwhatitwasallabout,andcreptalittlewayoutofthewoodtolisten.

TheFish-Footmanbeganbyproducingfromunderhisarmagreatletter,nearlyaslargeashimself,andthishehandedovertotheother,saying,inasolemntone,'FortheDuchess.AninvitationfromtheQueentoplaycroquet.'TheFrog-Footmanrepeated,inthesamesolemntone,onlychangingtheorderofthewordsalittle,'FromtheQueen.AninvitationfortheDuchesstoplaycroquet.'

Thentheybothbowedlow,andtheircurlsgotentangledtogether.

Alicelaughedsomuchatthis,thatshehadtorunbackintothewoodforfearoftheirhearingher;andwhenshenextpeepedouttheFish-Footmanwasgone,andtheotherwassittingonthegroundnearthedoor,staringstupidlyupintothesky.

Alicewenttimidlyuptothedoor,andknocked.

'There'snosortofuseinknocking,'saidtheFootman,'andthatfortworeasons.First,becauseI'monthesamesideofthedoorasyouare;secondly,becausethey'remakingsuchanoiseinside,noonecouldpossiblyhearyou.'Andcertainlytherewasamostextraordinarynoise

goingonwithin--aconstanthowlingandsneezing,andeverynowandthenagreatcrash,asifadishorkettlehadbeenbrokentopieces.

'Please,then,'saidAlice,'howamItogetin?'

'Theremightbesomesenseinyourknocking,'theFootmanwentonwithoutattendingtoher,'ifwehadthedoorbetweenus.Forinstance,ifyouwereINSIDE,youmightknock,andIcouldletyouout,youknow.'Hewaslookingupintotheskyallthetimehewasspeaking,andthisAlicethoughtdecidedlyuncivil.'Butperhapshecan'thelpit,'shesaidtoherself;'hiseyesaresoVERYnearlyatthetopofhishead.Butatanyratehemightanswerquestions.--HowamItogetin?'sherepeated,aloud.

'Ishallsithere,'theFootmanremarked,'tilltomorrow--'

Atthismomentthedoorofthehouseopened,andalargeplatecameskimmingout,straightattheFootman'shead:itjustgrazedhisnose,andbroketopiecesagainstoneofthetreesbehindhim.

'--ornextday,maybe,'theFootmancontinuedinthesametone,exactlyasifnothinghadhappened.

'HowamItogetin?'askedAliceagain,inaloudertone.

'AREyoutogetinatall?'saidtheFootman.'That'sthefirst

question,youknow.'

Itwas,nodoubt:onlyAlicedidnotliketobetoldso.'It'sreallydreadful,'shemutteredtoherself,'thewayallthecreaturesargue.It'senoughtodriveonecrazy!'

TheFootmanseemedtothinkthisagoodopportunityforrepeatinghisremark,withvariations.'Ishallsithere,'hesaid,'onandoff,fordaysanddays.'

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'ButwhatamItodo?'saidAlice.

'Anythingyoulike,'saidtheFootman,andbeganwhistling.

'Oh,there'snouseintalkingtohim,'saidAlicedesperately:'he'sperfectlyidiotic!'Andsheopenedthedoorandwentin.

Thedoorledrightintoalargekitchen,whichwasfullofsmokefromoneendtotheother:theDuchesswassittingonathree-leggedstoolinthemiddle,nursingababy;thecookwasleaningoverthefire,stirringalargecauldronwhichseemedtobefullofsoup.

'There'scertainlytoomuchpepperinthatsoup!'Alicesaidtoherself,aswellasshecouldforsneezing.

Therewascertainlytoomuchofitintheair.EventheDuchesssneezedoccasionally;andasforthebaby,itwassneezingandhowlingalternatelywithoutamoment'spause.Theonlythingsinthekitchenthatdidnotsneeze,werethecook,andalargecatwhichwassittingonthehearthandgrinningfromeartoear.

'Pleasewouldyoutellme,'saidAlice,alittletimidly,forshewasnotquitesurewhetheritwasgoodmannersforhertospeakfirst,'whyyourcatgrinslikethat?'

'It'saCheshirecat,'saidtheDuchess,'andthat'swhy.Pig!'

ShesaidthelastwordwithsuchsuddenviolencethatAlicequitejumped;butshesawinanothermomentthatitwasaddressedtothebaby,andnottoher,soshetookcourage,andwentonagain:--

'Ididn'tknowthatCheshirecatsalwaysgrinned;infact,Ididn'tknowthatcatsCOULDgrin.'

'Theyallcan,'saidtheDuchess;'andmostof'emdo.'

'Idon'tknowofanythatdo,'Alicesaidverypolitely,feelingquite

pleasedtohavegotintoaconversation.

'Youdon'tknowmuch,'saidtheDuchess;'andthat'safact.'

Alicedidnotatalllikethetoneofthisremark,andthoughtitwouldbeaswelltointroducesomeothersubjectofconversation.Whileshewastryingtofixonone,thecooktookthecauldronofsoupoffthefire,andatoncesettoworkthrowingeverythingwithinherreachattheDuchessandthebaby--thefire-ironscamefirst;thenfollowedashowerofsaucepans,plates,anddishes.TheDuchesstooknonoticeofthemevenwhentheyhither;andthebabywashowlingsomuchalready,thatitwasquiteimpossibletosaywhethertheblowshurtitornot.

'Oh,PLEASEmindwhatyou'redoing!'criedAlice,jumpingupanddowninanagonyofterror.'Oh,theregoeshisPRECIOUSnose';asanunusuallylargesaucepanflewclosebyit,andverynearlycarrieditoff.

'Ifeverybodymindedtheirownbusiness,'theDuchesssaidinahoarsegrowl,'theworldwouldgoroundadealfasterthanitdoes.'

'WhichwouldNOTbeanadvantage,'saidAlice,whofeltverygladtogetanopportunityofshowingoffalittleofherknowledge.'Justthinkofwhatworkitwouldmakewiththedayandnight!Youseetheearthtakes

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twenty-fourhourstoturnroundonitsaxis--'

'Talkingofaxes,'saidtheDuchess,'chopoffherhead!'

Aliceglancedratheranxiouslyatthecook,toseeifshemeanttotakethehint;butthecookwasbusilystirringthesoup,andseemednottobelistening,soshewentonagain:'Twenty-fourhours,ITHINK;orisittwelve?I--'

'Oh,don'tbotherME,'saidtheDuchess;'Inevercouldabidefigures!'Andwiththatshebegannursingherchildagain,singingasortoflullabytoitasshedidso,andgivingitaviolentshakeattheendofeveryline:

'Speakroughlytoyourlittleboy,Andbeathimwhenhesneezes:Heonlydoesittoannoy,Becauseheknowsitteases.'

CHORUS.

(Inwhichthecookandthebabyjoined):--

'Wow!wow!wow!'

WhiletheDuchesssangthesecondverseofthesong,shekepttossingthebabyviolentlyupanddown,andthepoorlittlethinghowledso,thatAlicecouldhardlyhearthewords:--

'Ispeakseverelytomyboy,Ibeathimwhenhesneezes;ForhecanthoroughlyenjoyThepepperwhenhepleases!'

CHORUS.

'Wow!wow!wow!'

'Here!youmaynurseitabit,ifyoulike!'theDuchesssaidtoAlice,flingingthebabyatherasshespoke.'ImustgoandgetreadytoplaycroquetwiththeQueen,'andshehurriedoutoftheroom.Thecookthrewafrying-panafterherasshewentout,butitjustmissedher.

Alicecaughtthebabywithsomedifficulty,asitwasaqueer-shapedlittlecreature,andheldoutitsarmsandlegsinalldirections,'justlikeastar-fish,'thoughtAlice.Thepoorlittlethingwassnortinglikeasteam-enginewhenshecaughtit,andkeptdoublingitselfupandstraighteningitselfoutagain,sothataltogether,forthefirstminuteortwo,itwasasmuchasshecoulddotoholdit.

Assoonasshehadmadeouttheproperwayofnursingit,(whichwastotwistitupintoasortofknot,andthenkeeptightholdofitsrightearandleftfoot,soastopreventitsundoingitself,)shecarrieditoutintotheopenair.'IFIdon'ttakethischildawaywithme,'thoughtAlice,'they'resuretokillitinadayortwo:wouldn'titbemurdertoleaveitbehind?'Shesaidthelastwordsoutloud,andthelittlethinggruntedinreply(ithadleftoffsneezingbythistime).'Don'tgrunt,'saidAlice;'that'snotatallaproperwayofexpressingyourself.'

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Thebabygruntedagain,andAlicelookedveryanxiouslyintoitsfacetoseewhatwasthematterwithit.TherecouldbenodoubtthatithadaVERYturn-upnose,muchmorelikeasnoutthanarealnose;alsoitseyesweregettingextremelysmallforababy:altogetherAlicedidnotlikethelookofthethingatall.'Butperhapsitwasonlysobbing,'shethought,andlookedintoitseyesagain,toseeiftherewereanytears.

No,therewerenotears.'Ifyou'regoingtoturnintoapig,mydear,'saidAlice,seriously,'I'llhavenothingmoretodowithyou.Mindnow!'Thepoorlittlethingsobbedagain(orgrunted,itwasimpossibletosaywhich),andtheywentonforsomewhileinsilence.

Alicewasjustbeginningtothinktoherself,'Now,whatamItodowiththiscreaturewhenIgetithome?'whenitgruntedagain,soviolently,thatshelookeddownintoitsfaceinsomealarm.ThistimetherecouldbeNOmistakeaboutit:itwasneithermorenorlessthanapig,andshefeltthatitwouldbequiteabsurdforhertocarryitfurther.

Soshesetthelittlecreaturedown,andfeltquiterelievedtoseeittrotawayquietlyintothewood.'Ifithadgrownup,'shesaidtoherself,'itwouldhavemadeadreadfullyuglychild:butitmakesratherahandsomepig,Ithink.'Andshebeganthinkingoverotherchildrensheknew,whomightdoverywellaspigs,andwasjustsaying

toherself,'ifoneonlyknewtherightwaytochangethem--'whenshewasalittlestartledbyseeingtheCheshireCatsittingonaboughofatreeafewyardsoff.

TheCatonlygrinnedwhenitsawAlice.Itlookedgood-natured,shethought:stillithadVERYlongclawsandagreatmanyteeth,soshefeltthatitoughttobetreatedwithrespect.

'CheshirePuss,'shebegan,rathertimidly,asshedidnotatallknowwhetheritwouldlikethename:however,itonlygrinnedalittlewider.'Come,it'spleasedsofar,'thoughtAlice,andshewenton.'Wouldyoutellme,please,whichwayIoughttogofromhere?'

'Thatdependsagooddealonwhereyouwanttogetto,'saidtheCat.

'Idon'tmuchcarewhere--'saidAlice.

'Thenitdoesn'tmatterwhichwayyougo,'saidtheCat.

'--solongasIgetSOMEWHERE,'Aliceaddedasanexplanation.

'Oh,you'resuretodothat,'saidtheCat,'ifyouonlywalklongenough.'

Alicefeltthatthiscouldnotbedenied,soshetriedanotherquestion.'Whatsortofpeopleliveabouthere?'

'InTHATdirection,'theCatsaid,wavingitsrightpawround,'livesaHatter:andinTHATdirection,'wavingtheotherpaw,'livesaMarchHare.Visiteitheryoulike:they'rebothmad.'

'ButIdon'twanttogoamongmadpeople,'Aliceremarked.

'Oh,youcan'thelpthat,'saidtheCat:'we'reallmadhere.I'mmad.You'remad.'

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'HowdoyouknowI'mmad?'saidAlice.

'Youmustbe,'saidtheCat,'oryouwouldn'thavecomehere.'

Alicedidn'tthinkthatproveditatall;however,shewenton'Andhowdoyouknowthatyou'remad?'

'Tobeginwith,'saidtheCat,'adog'snotmad.Yougrantthat?'

'Isupposeso,'saidAlice.

'Well,then,'theCatwenton,'yousee,adoggrowlswhenit'sangry,andwagsitstailwhenit'spleased.NowIgrowlwhenI'mpleased,andwagmytailwhenI'mangry.ThereforeI'mmad.'

'Icallitpurring,notgrowling,'saidAlice.

'Callitwhatyoulike,'saidtheCat.'DoyouplaycroquetwiththeQueento-day?'

'Ishouldlikeitverymuch,'saidAlice,'butIhaven'tbeeninvitedyet.'

'You'llseemethere,'saidtheCat,andvanished.

Alicewasnotmuchsurprisedatthis,shewasgettingsousedtoqueerthingshappening.Whileshewaslookingattheplacewhereithadbeen,itsuddenlyappearedagain.

'By-the-bye,whatbecameofthebaby?'saidtheCat.'I'dnearlyforgottentoask.'

'Itturnedintoapig,'Alicequietlysaid,justasifithadcomebackinanaturalway.

'Ithoughtitwould,'saidtheCat,andvanishedagain.

Alicewaitedalittle,halfexpectingtoseeitagain,butitdidnotappear,andafteraminuteortwoshewalkedoninthedirectioninwhichtheMarchHarewassaidtolive.'I'veseenhattersbefore,'shesaidtoherself;'theMarchHarewillbemuchthemostinteresting,andperhapsasthisisMayitwon'tberavingmad--atleastnotsomadasitwasinMarch.'Asshesaidthis,shelookedup,andtherewastheCatagain,sittingonabranchofatree.

'Didyousaypig,orfig?'saidtheCat.

'Isaidpig,'repliedAlice;'andIwishyouwouldn'tkeepappearingandvanishingsosuddenly:youmakeonequitegiddy.'

'Allright,'saidtheCat;andthistimeitvanishedquiteslowly,beginningwiththeendofthetail,andendingwiththegrin,whichremainedsometimeaftertherestofithadgone.

'Well!I'veoftenseenacatwithoutagrin,'thoughtAlice;'butagrinwithoutacat!It'sthemostcuriousthingIeversawinmylife!'

ShehadnotgonemuchfartherbeforeshecameinsightofthehouseoftheMarchHare:shethoughtitmustbetherighthouse,becausethechimneyswereshapedlikeearsandtheroofwasthatchedwithfur.It

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wassolargeahouse,thatshedidnotliketogonearertillshehadnibbledsomemoreofthelefthandbitofmushroom,andraisedherselftoabouttwofeethigh:eventhenshewalkeduptowardsitrathertimidly,sayingtoherself'Supposeitshouldberavingmadafterall!IalmostwishI'dgonetoseetheHatterinstead!'

CHAPTERVII.AMadTea-Party

Therewasatablesetoutunderatreeinfrontofthehouse,andtheMarchHareandtheHatterwerehavingteaatit:aDormousewassittingbetweenthem,fastasleep,andtheothertwowereusingitasacushion,restingtheirelbowsonit,andtalkingoveritshead.'VeryuncomfortablefortheDormouse,'thoughtAlice;'only,asit'sasleep,Isupposeitdoesn'tmind.'

Thetablewasalargeone,butthethreewereallcrowdedtogetheratonecornerofit:'Noroom!Noroom!'theycriedoutwhentheysawAlicecoming.'There'sPLENTYofroom!'saidAliceindignantly,andshesatdowninalargearm-chairatoneendofthetable.

'Havesomewine,'theMarchHaresaidinanencouragingtone.

Alicelookedallroundthetable,buttherewasnothingonitbuttea.'Idon'tseeanywine,'sheremarked.

'Thereisn'tany,'saidtheMarchHare.

'Thenitwasn'tverycivilofyoutoofferit,'saidAliceangrily.

'Itwasn'tverycivilofyoutositdownwithoutbeinginvited,'saidtheMarchHare.

'Ididn'tknowitwasYOURtable,'saidAlice;'it'slaidforagreatmanymorethanthree.'

'Yourhairwantscutting,'saidtheHatter.HehadbeenlookingatAliceforsometimewithgreatcuriosity,andthiswashisfirstspeech.

'Youshouldlearnnottomakepersonalremarks,'Alicesaidwithsomeseverity;'it'sveryrude.'

TheHatteropenedhiseyesverywideonhearingthis;butallheSAIDwas,'Whyisaravenlikeawriting-desk?'

'Come,weshallhavesomefunnow!'thoughtAlice.'I'mgladthey'vebegunaskingriddles.--IbelieveIcanguessthat,'sheaddedaloud.

'Doyoumeanthatyouthinkyoucanfindouttheanswertoit?'saidtheMarchHare.

'Exactlyso,'saidAlice.

'Thenyoushouldsaywhatyoumean,'theMarchHarewenton.

'Ido,'Alicehastilyreplied;'atleast--atleastImeanwhatIsay--that'sthesamething,youknow.'

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'Notthesamethingabit!'saidtheHatter.'Youmightjustaswellsaythat"IseewhatIeat"isthesamethingas"IeatwhatIsee"!'

'Youmightjustaswellsay,'addedtheMarchHare,'that"IlikewhatIget"isthesamethingas"IgetwhatIlike"!'

'Youmightjustaswellsay,'addedtheDormouse,whoseemedtobetalkinginhissleep,'that"IbreathewhenIsleep"isthesamethingas"IsleepwhenIbreathe"!'

'ItISthesamethingwithyou,'saidtheHatter,andheretheconversationdropped,andthepartysatsilentforaminute,whileAlicethoughtoverallshecouldrememberaboutravensandwriting-desks,whichwasn'tmuch.

TheHatterwasthefirsttobreakthesilence.'Whatdayofthemonthisit?'hesaid,turningtoAlice:hehadtakenhiswatchoutofhispocket,andwaslookingatituneasily,shakingiteverynowandthen,andholdingittohisear.

Aliceconsideredalittle,andthensaid'Thefourth.'

'Twodayswrong!'sighedtheHatter.'Itoldyoubutterwouldn'tsuittheworks!'headdedlookingangrilyattheMarchHare.

'ItwastheBESTbutter,'theMarchHaremeeklyreplied.

'Yes,butsomecrumbsmusthavegotinaswell,'theHattergrumbled:'youshouldn'thaveputitinwiththebread-knife.'

TheMarchHaretookthewatchandlookedatitgloomily:thenhedippeditintohiscupoftea,andlookedatitagain:buthecouldthinkofnothingbettertosaythanhisfirstremark,'ItwastheBESTbutter,youknow.'

Alicehadbeenlookingoverhisshoulderwithsomecuriosity.'Whatafunnywatch!'sheremarked.'Ittellsthedayofthemonth,anddoesn't

tellwhato'clockitis!'

'Whyshouldit?'mutteredtheHatter.'DoesYOURwatchtellyouwhatyearitis?'

'Ofcoursenot,'Alicerepliedveryreadily:'butthat'sbecauseitstaysthesameyearforsuchalongtimetogether.'

'WhichisjustthecasewithMINE,'saidtheHatter.

Alicefeltdreadfullypuzzled.TheHatter'sremarkseemedtohavenosortofmeaninginit,andyetitwascertainlyEnglish.'Idon'tquiteunderstandyou,'shesaid,aspolitelyasshecould.

'TheDormouseisasleepagain,'saidtheHatter,andhepouredalittlehotteauponitsnose.

TheDormouseshookitsheadimpatiently,andsaid,withoutopeningitseyes,'Ofcourse,ofcourse;justwhatIwasgoingtoremarkmyself.'

'Haveyouguessedtheriddleyet?'theHattersaid,turningtoAliceagain.

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'No,Igiveitup,'Alicereplied:'what'stheanswer?'

'Ihaven'ttheslightestidea,'saidtheHatter.

'NorI,'saidtheMarchHare.

Alicesighedwearily.'Ithinkyoumightdosomethingbetterwiththetime,'shesaid,'thanwasteitinaskingriddlesthathavenoanswers.'

'IfyouknewTimeaswellasIdo,'saidtheHatter,'youwouldn'ttalkaboutwastingIT.It'sHIM.'

'Idon'tknowwhatyoumean,'saidAlice.

'Ofcourseyoudon't!'theHattersaid,tossinghisheadcontemptuously.'IdaresayyouneverevenspoketoTime!'

'Perhapsnot,'Alicecautiouslyreplied:'butIknowIhavetobeattimewhenIlearnmusic.'

'Ah!thataccountsforit,'saidtheHatter.'Hewon'tstandbeating.Now,ifyouonlykeptongoodtermswithhim,he'ddoalmostanythingyoulikedwiththeclock.Forinstance,supposeitwerenineo'clockinthemorning,justtimetobeginlessons:you'donlyhavetowhispera

hinttoTime,androundgoestheclockinatwinkling!Half-pastone,timefordinner!'

('Ionlywishitwas,'theMarchHaresaidtoitselfinawhisper.)

'Thatwouldbegrand,certainly,'saidAlicethoughtfully:'butthen--Ishouldn'tbehungryforit,youknow.'

'Notatfirst,perhaps,'saidtheHatter:'butyoucouldkeepittohalf-pastoneaslongasyouliked.'

'IsthatthewayYOUmanage?'Aliceasked.

TheHattershookhisheadmournfully.'NotI!'hereplied.'WequarrelledlastMarch--justbeforeHEwentmad,youknow--'(pointingwithhisteaspoonattheMarchHare,)'--itwasatthegreatconcertgivenbytheQueenofHearts,andIhadtosing

"Twinkle,twinkle,littlebat!HowIwonderwhatyou'reat!"

Youknowthesong,perhaps?'

'I'veheardsomethinglikeit,'saidAlice.

'Itgoeson,youknow,'theHattercontinued,'inthisway:--

"Upabovetheworldyoufly,Likeatea-trayinthesky.Twinkle,twinkle--"'

HeretheDormouseshookitself,andbegansinginginitssleep'Twinkle,twinkle,twinkle,twinkle--'andwentonsolongthattheyhadtopinchittomakeitstop.

'Well,I'dhardlyfinishedthefirstverse,'saidtheHatter,'whenthe

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Queenjumpedupandbawledout,"He'smurderingthetime!Offwithhishead!"'

'Howdreadfullysavage!'exclaimedAlice.

'Andeversincethat,'theHatterwentoninamournfultone,'hewon'tdoathingIask!It'salwayssixo'clocknow.'

AbrightideacameintoAlice'shead.'Isthatthereasonsomanytea-thingsareputouthere?'sheasked.

'Yes,that'sit,'saidtheHatterwithasigh:'it'salwaystea-time,andwe'venotimetowashthethingsbetweenwhiles.'

'Thenyoukeepmovinground,Isuppose?'saidAlice.

'Exactlyso,'saidtheHatter:'asthethingsgetusedup.'

'Butwhathappenswhenyoucometothebeginningagain?'Aliceventuredtoask.

'Supposewechangethesubject,'theMarchHareinterrupted,yawning.'I'mgettingtiredofthis.Ivotetheyoungladytellsusastory.'

'I'mafraidIdon'tknowone,'saidAlice,ratheralarmedattheproposal.

'ThentheDormouseshall!'theybothcried.'Wakeup,Dormouse!'Andtheypincheditonbothsidesatonce.

TheDormouseslowlyopenedhiseyes.'Iwasn'tasleep,'hesaidinahoarse,feeblevoice:'Iheardeverywordyoufellowsweresaying.'

'Tellusastory!'saidtheMarchHare.

'Yes,pleasedo!'pleadedAlice.

'Andbequickaboutit,'addedtheHatter,'oryou'llbeasleepagainbeforeit'sdone.'

'Onceuponatimetherewerethreelittlesisters,'theDormousebeganinagreathurry;'andtheirnameswereElsie,Lacie,andTillie;andtheylivedatthebottomofawell--'

'Whatdidtheyliveon?'saidAlice,whoalwaystookagreatinterestinquestionsofeatinganddrinking.

'Theylivedontreacle,'saidtheDormouse,afterthinkingaminuteortwo.

'Theycouldn'thavedonethat,youknow,'Alicegentlyremarked;'they'dhavebeenill.'

'Sotheywere,'saidtheDormouse;'VERYill.'

Alicetriedtofancytoherselfwhatsuchanextraordinarywaysoflivingwouldbelike,butitpuzzledhertoomuch,soshewenton:'Butwhydidtheyliveatthebottomofawell?'

'Takesomemoretea,'theMarchHaresaidtoAlice,veryearnestly.

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'I'vehadnothingyet,'Alicerepliedinanoffendedtone,'soIcan'ttakemore.'

'Youmeanyoucan'ttakeLESS,'saidtheHatter:'it'sveryeasytotakeMOREthannothing.'

'NobodyaskedYOURopinion,'saidAlice.

'Who'smakingpersonalremarksnow?'theHatteraskedtriumphantly.

Alicedidnotquiteknowwhattosaytothis:soshehelpedherselftosometeaandbread-and-butter,andthenturnedtotheDormouse,andrepeatedherquestion.'Whydidtheyliveatthebottomofawell?'

TheDormouseagaintookaminuteortwotothinkaboutit,andthensaid,'Itwasatreacle-well.'

'There'snosuchthing!'Alicewasbeginningveryangrily,buttheHatterandtheMarchHarewent'Sh!sh!'andtheDormousesulkilyremarked,'Ifyoucan'tbecivil,you'dbetterfinishthestoryforyourself.'

'No,pleasegoon!'Alicesaidveryhumbly;'Iwon'tinterruptagain.I

daresaytheremaybeONE.'

'One,indeed!'saidtheDormouseindignantly.However,heconsentedtogoon.'Andsothesethreelittlesisters--theywerelearningtodraw,youknow--'

'Whatdidtheydraw?'saidAlice,quiteforgettingherpromise.

'Treacle,'saidtheDormouse,withoutconsideringatallthistime.

'Iwantacleancup,'interruptedtheHatter:'let'sallmoveoneplaceon.'

Hemovedonashespoke,andtheDormousefollowedhim:theMarchHaremovedintotheDormouse'splace,andAliceratherunwillinglytooktheplaceoftheMarchHare.TheHatterwastheonlyonewhogotanyadvantagefromthechange:andAlicewasagooddealworseoffthanbefore,astheMarchHarehadjustupsetthemilk-jugintohisplate.

AlicedidnotwishtooffendtheDormouseagain,soshebeganverycautiously:'ButIdon'tunderstand.Wheredidtheydrawthetreaclefrom?'

'Youcandrawwateroutofawater-well,'saidtheHatter;'soIshouldthinkyoucoulddrawtreacleoutofatreacle-well--eh,stupid?'

'ButtheywereINthewell,'AlicesaidtotheDormouse,notchoosingtonoticethislastremark.

'Ofcoursetheywere',saidtheDormouse;'--wellin.'

ThisanswersoconfusedpoorAlice,thatshelettheDormousegoonforsometimewithoutinterruptingit.

'Theywerelearningtodraw,'theDormousewenton,yawningandrubbingitseyes,foritwasgettingverysleepy;'andtheydrewallmannerof

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things--everythingthatbeginswithanM--'

'WhywithanM?'saidAlice.

'Whynot?'saidtheMarchHare.

Alicewassilent.

TheDormousehadcloseditseyesbythistime,andwasgoingoffintoadoze;but,onbeingpinchedbytheHatter,itwokeupagainwithalittleshriek,andwenton:'--thatbeginswithanM,suchasmouse-traps,andthemoon,andmemory,andmuchness--youknowyousaythingsare"muchofamuchness"--didyoueverseesuchathingasadrawingofamuchness?'

'Really,nowyouaskme,'saidAlice,verymuchconfused,'Idon'tthink--'

'Thenyoushouldn'ttalk,'saidtheHatter.

ThispieceofrudenesswasmorethanAlicecouldbear:shegotupingreatdisgust,andwalkedoff;theDormousefellasleepinstantly,andneitheroftheotherstooktheleastnoticeofhergoing,thoughshelookedbackonceortwice,halfhopingthattheywouldcallafterher:

thelasttimeshesawthem,theyweretryingtoputtheDormouseintotheteapot.

'AtanyrateI'llnevergoTHEREagain!'saidAliceasshepickedherwaythroughthewood.'It'sthestupidesttea-partyIeverwasatinallmylife!'

Justasshesaidthis,shenoticedthatoneofthetreeshadadoorleadingrightintoit.'That'sverycurious!'shethought.'Buteverything'scurioustoday.IthinkImayaswellgoinatonce.'Andinshewent.

Oncemoreshefoundherselfinthelonghall,andclosetothelittle

glasstable.'Now,I'llmanagebetterthistime,'shesaidtoherself,andbeganbytakingthelittlegoldenkey,andunlockingthedoorthatledintothegarden.Thenshewenttoworknibblingatthemushroom(shehadkeptapieceofitinherpocket)tillshewasaboutafoothigh:thenshewalkeddownthelittlepassage:andTHEN--shefoundherselfatlastinthebeautifulgarden,amongthebrightflower-bedsandthecoolfountains.

CHAPTERVIII.TheQueen'sCroquet-Ground

Alargerose-treestoodneartheentranceofthegarden:therosesgrowingonitwerewhite,buttherewerethreegardenersatit,busilypaintingthemred.Alicethoughtthisaverycuriousthing,andshewentnearertowatchthem,andjustasshecameuptothemsheheardoneofthemsay,'Lookoutnow,Five!Don'tgosplashingpaintovermelikethat!'

'Icouldn'thelpit,'saidFive,inasulkytone;'Sevenjoggedmyelbow.'

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OnwhichSevenlookedupandsaid,'That'sright,Five!Alwayslaytheblameonothers!'

'YOU'Dbetternottalk!'saidFive.'IheardtheQueensayonlyyesterdayyoudeservedtobebeheaded!'

'Whatfor?'saidtheonewhohadspokenfirst.

'That'snoneofYOURbusiness,Two!'saidSeven.

'Yes,itIShisbusiness!'saidFive,'andI'lltellhim--itwasforbringingthecooktulip-rootsinsteadofonions.'

Sevenflungdownhisbrush,andhadjustbegun'Well,ofalltheunjustthings--'whenhiseyechancedtofalluponAlice,asshestoodwatchingthem,andhecheckedhimselfsuddenly:theotherslookedroundalso,andallofthembowedlow.

'Wouldyoutellme,'saidAlice,alittletimidly,'whyyouarepaintingthoseroses?'

FiveandSevensaidnothing,butlookedatTwo.Twobeganinalowvoice,'Whythefactis,yousee,Miss,thishereoughttohavebeenaREDrose-tree,andweputawhiteoneinbymistake;andiftheQueen

wastofinditout,weshouldallhaveourheadscutoff,youknow.Soyousee,Miss,we'redoingourbest,aforeshecomes,to--'AtthismomentFive,whohadbeenanxiouslylookingacrossthegarden,calledout'TheQueen!TheQueen!'andthethreegardenersinstantlythrewthemselvesflatupontheirfaces.Therewasasoundofmanyfootsteps,andAlicelookedround,eagertoseetheQueen.

Firstcametensoldierscarryingclubs;thesewereallshapedlikethethreegardeners,oblongandflat,withtheirhandsandfeetatthecorners:nextthetencourtiers;thesewereornamentedalloverwithdiamonds,andwalkedtwoandtwo,asthesoldiersdid.Afterthesecametheroyalchildren;thereweretenofthem,andthelittledearscamejumpingmerrilyalonghandinhand,incouples:theywereallornamented

withhearts.Nextcametheguests,mostlyKingsandQueens,andamongthemAlicerecognisedtheWhiteRabbit:itwastalkinginahurriednervousmanner,smilingateverythingthatwassaid,andwentbywithoutnoticingher.ThenfollowedtheKnaveofHearts,carryingtheKing'scrownonacrimsonvelvetcushion;and,lastofallthisgrandprocession,cameTHEKINGANDQUEENOFHEARTS.

Alicewasratherdoubtfulwhethersheoughtnottoliedownonherfacelikethethreegardeners,butshecouldnotremembereverhavingheardofsucharuleatprocessions;'andbesides,whatwouldbetheuseofaprocession,'thoughtshe,'ifpeoplehadalltoliedownupontheirfaces,sothattheycouldn'tseeit?'Soshestoodstillwhereshewas,andwaited.

WhentheprocessioncameoppositetoAlice,theyallstoppedandlookedather,andtheQueensaidseverely'Whoisthis?'ShesaidittotheKnaveofHearts,whoonlybowedandsmiledinreply.

'Idiot!'saidtheQueen,tossingherheadimpatiently;and,turningtoAlice,shewenton,'What'syourname,child?'

'MynameisAlice,sopleaseyourMajesty,'saidAliceverypolitely;butsheadded,toherself,'Why,they'reonlyapackofcards,after

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all.Ineedn'tbeafraidofthem!'

'AndwhoareTHESE?'saidtheQueen,pointingtothethreegardenerswhowerelyingroundtherosetree;for,yousee,astheywerelyingontheirfaces,andthepatternontheirbackswasthesameastherestofthepack,shecouldnottellwhethertheyweregardeners,orsoldiers,orcourtiers,orthreeofherownchildren.

'HowshouldIknow?'saidAlice,surprisedatherowncourage.'It'snobusinessofMINE.'

TheQueenturnedcrimsonwithfury,and,afterglaringatherforamomentlikeawildbeast,screamed'Offwithherhead!Off--'

'Nonsense!'saidAlice,veryloudlyanddecidedly,andtheQueenwassilent.

TheKinglaidhishanduponherarm,andtimidlysaid'Consider,mydear:sheisonlyachild!'

TheQueenturnedangrilyawayfromhim,andsaidtotheKnave'Turnthemover!'

TheKnavedidso,verycarefully,withonefoot.

'Getup!'saidtheQueen,inashrill,loudvoice,andthethreegardenersinstantlyjumpedup,andbeganbowingtotheKing,theQueen,theroyalchildren,andeverybodyelse.

'Leaveoffthat!'screamedtheQueen.'Youmakemegiddy.'Andthen,turningtotherose-tree,shewenton,'WhatHAVEyoubeendoinghere?'

'MayitpleaseyourMajesty,'saidTwo,inaveryhumbletone,goingdownononekneeashespoke,'weweretrying--'

'Isee!'saidtheQueen,whohadmeanwhilebeenexaminingtheroses.'Offwiththeirheads!'andtheprocessionmovedon,threeofthe

soldiersremainingbehindtoexecutetheunfortunategardeners,whorantoAliceforprotection.

'Youshan'tbebeheaded!'saidAlice,andsheputthemintoalargeflower-potthatstoodnear.Thethreesoldierswanderedaboutforaminuteortwo,lookingforthem,andthenquietlymarchedoffaftertheothers.

'Aretheirheadsoff?'shoutedtheQueen.

'Theirheadsaregone,ifitpleaseyourMajesty!'thesoldiersshoutedinreply.

'That'sright!'shoutedtheQueen.'Canyouplaycroquet?'

Thesoldiersweresilent,andlookedatAlice,asthequestionwasevidentlymeantforher.

'Yes!'shoutedAlice.

'Comeon,then!'roaredtheQueen,andAlicejoinedtheprocession,wonderingverymuchwhatwouldhappennext.

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'It's--it'saveryfineday!'saidatimidvoiceatherside.ShewaswalkingbytheWhiteRabbit,whowaspeepinganxiouslyintoherface.

'Very,'saidAlice:'--where'stheDuchess?'

'Hush!Hush!'saidtheRabbitinalow,hurriedtone.Helookedanxiouslyoverhisshoulderashespoke,andthenraisedhimselfupontiptoe,puthismouthclosetoherear,andwhispered'She'sundersentenceofexecution.'

'Whatfor?'saidAlice.

'Didyousay"Whatapity!"?'theRabbitasked.

'No,Ididn't,'saidAlice:'Idon'tthinkit'satallapity.Isaid"Whatfor?"'

'SheboxedtheQueen'sears--'theRabbitbegan.Alicegavealittlescreamoflaughter.'Oh,hush!'theRabbitwhisperedinafrightenedtone.'TheQueenwillhearyou!Yousee,shecameratherlate,andtheQueensaid--'

'Gettoyourplaces!'shoutedtheQueeninavoiceofthunder,andpeoplebeganrunningaboutinalldirections,tumblingupagainsteach

other;however,theygotsettleddowninaminuteortwo,andthegamebegan.Alicethoughtshehadneverseensuchacuriouscroquet-groundinherlife;itwasallridgesandfurrows;theballswerelivehedgehogs,themalletsliveflamingoes,andthesoldiershadtodoublethemselvesupandtostandontheirhandsandfeet,tomakethearches.

ThechiefdifficultyAlicefoundatfirstwasinmanagingherflamingo:shesucceededingettingitsbodytuckedaway,comfortablyenough,underherarm,withitslegshangingdown,butgenerally,justasshehadgotitsnecknicelystraightenedout,andwasgoingtogivethehedgehogablowwithitshead,itWOULDtwistitselfroundandlookupinherface,withsuchapuzzledexpressionthatshecouldnothelpburstingoutlaughing:andwhenshehadgotitsheaddown,andwasgoingtobegin

again,itwasveryprovokingtofindthatthehedgehoghadunrolleditself,andwasintheactofcrawlingaway:besidesallthis,therewasgenerallyaridgeorfurrowinthewaywherevershewantedtosendthehedgehogto,and,asthedoubled-upsoldierswerealwaysgettingupandwalkingofftootherpartsoftheground,Alicesooncametotheconclusionthatitwasaverydifficultgameindeed.

Theplayersallplayedatoncewithoutwaitingforturns,quarrellingallthewhile,andfightingforthehedgehogs;andinaveryshorttimetheQueenwasinafuriouspassion,andwentstampingabout,andshouting'Offwithhishead!'or'Offwithherhead!'aboutonceinaminute.

Alicebegantofeelveryuneasy:tobesure,shehadnotasyethadanydisputewiththeQueen,butsheknewthatitmighthappenanyminute,'andthen,'thoughtshe,'whatwouldbecomeofme?They'redreadfullyfondofbeheadingpeoplehere;thegreatwonderis,thatthere'sanyoneleftalive!'

Shewaslookingaboutforsomewayofescape,andwonderingwhethershecouldgetawaywithoutbeingseen,whenshenoticedacuriousappearanceintheair:itpuzzledherverymuchatfirst,but,afterwatchingitaminuteortwo,shemadeitouttobeagrin,andshesaidtoherself

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'It'stheCheshireCat:nowIshallhavesomebodytotalkto.'

'Howareyougettingon?'saidtheCat,assoonastherewasmouthenoughforittospeakwith.

Alicewaitedtilltheeyesappeared,andthennodded.'It'snousespeakingtoit,'shethought,'tillitsearshavecome,oratleastoneofthem.'Inanotherminutethewholeheadappeared,andthenAliceputdownherflamingo,andbegananaccountofthegame,feelingverygladshehadsomeonetolistentoher.TheCatseemedtothinkthattherewasenoughofitnowinsight,andnomoreofitappeared.

'Idon'tthinktheyplayatallfairly,'Alicebegan,inratheracomplainingtone,'andtheyallquarrelsodreadfullyonecan'thearoneselfspeak--andtheydon'tseemtohaveanyrulesinparticular;atleast,ifthereare,nobodyattendstothem--andyou'venoideahowconfusingitisallthethingsbeingalive;forinstance,there'sthearchI'vegottogothroughnextwalkingaboutattheotherendoftheground--andIshouldhavecroquetedtheQueen'shedgehogjustnow,onlyitranawaywhenitsawminecoming!'

'HowdoyouliketheQueen?'saidtheCatinalowvoice.

'Notatall,'saidAlice:'she'ssoextremely--'Justthenshenoticed

thattheQueenwasclosebehindher,listening:soshewenton,'--likelytowin,thatit'shardlyworthwhilefinishingthegame.'

TheQueensmiledandpassedon.

'WhoAREyoutalkingto?'saidtheKing,goinguptoAlice,andlookingattheCat'sheadwithgreatcuriosity.

'It'safriendofmine--aCheshireCat,'saidAlice:'allowmetointroduceit.'

'Idon'tlikethelookofitatall,'saidtheKing:'however,itmaykissmyhandifitlikes.'

'I'drathernot,'theCatremarked.

'Don'tbeimpertinent,'saidtheKing,'anddon'tlookatmelikethat!'HegotbehindAliceashespoke.

'Acatmaylookataking,'saidAlice.'I'vereadthatinsomebook,butIdon'trememberwhere.'

'Well,itmustberemoved,'saidtheKingverydecidedly,andhecalledtheQueen,whowaspassingatthemoment,'Mydear!Iwishyouwouldhavethiscatremoved!'

TheQueenhadonlyonewayofsettlingalldifficulties,greatorsmall.'Offwithhishead!'shesaid,withoutevenlookinground.

'I'llfetchtheexecutionermyself,'saidtheKingeagerly,andhehurriedoff.

Alicethoughtshemightaswellgoback,andseehowthegamewasgoingon,assheheardtheQueen'svoiceinthedistance,screamingwithpassion.Shehadalreadyheardhersentencethreeoftheplayerstobeexecutedforhavingmissedtheirturns,andshedidnotlikethelook

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ofthingsatall,asthegamewasinsuchconfusionthatsheneverknewwhetheritwasherturnornot.Soshewentinsearchofherhedgehog.

Thehedgehogwasengagedinafightwithanotherhedgehog,whichseemedtoAliceanexcellentopportunityforcroquetingoneofthemwiththeother:theonlydifficultywas,thatherflamingowasgoneacrosstotheothersideofthegarden,whereAlicecouldseeittryinginahelplesssortofwaytoflyupintoatree.

Bythetimeshehadcaughttheflamingoandbroughtitback,thefightwasover,andboththehedgehogswereoutofsight:'butitdoesn'tmattermuch,'thoughtAlice,'asallthearchesaregonefromthissideoftheground.'Soshetuckeditawayunderherarm,thatitmightnotescapeagain,andwentbackforalittlemoreconversationwithherfriend.

WhenshegotbacktotheCheshireCat,shewassurprisedtofindquitealargecrowdcollectedroundit:therewasadisputegoingonbetweentheexecutioner,theKing,andtheQueen,whowerealltalkingatonce,whilealltherestwerequitesilent,andlookedveryuncomfortable.

ThemomentAliceappeared,shewasappealedtobyallthreetosettlethequestion,andtheyrepeatedtheirargumentstoher,though,astheyallspokeatonce,shefounditveryhardindeedtomakeoutexactly

whattheysaid.

Theexecutioner'sargumentwas,thatyoucouldn'tcutoffaheadunlesstherewasabodytocutitofffrom:thathehadneverhadtodosuchathingbefore,andhewasn'tgoingtobeginatHIStimeoflife.

TheKing'sargumentwas,thatanythingthathadaheadcouldbebeheaded,andthatyouweren'ttotalknonsense.

TheQueen'sargumentwas,thatifsomethingwasn'tdoneaboutitinlessthannotimeshe'dhaveeverybodyexecuted,allround.(Itwasthislastremarkthathadmadethewholepartylooksograveandanxious.)

Alicecouldthinkofnothingelsetosaybut'ItbelongstotheDuchess:you'dbetteraskHERaboutit.'

'She'sinprison,'theQueensaidtotheexecutioner:'fetchherhere.'Andtheexecutionerwentofflikeanarrow.

TheCat'sheadbeganfadingawaythemomenthewasgone,and,bythetimehehadcomebackwiththeDuchess,ithadentirelydisappeared;sotheKingandtheexecutionerranwildlyupanddownlookingforit,whiletherestofthepartywentbacktothegame.

CHAPTERIX.TheMockTurtle'sStory

'Youcan'tthinkhowgladIamtoseeyouagain,youdearoldthing!'saidtheDuchess,asshetuckedherarmaffectionatelyintoAlice's,andtheywalkedofftogether.

Alicewasverygladtofindherinsuchapleasanttemper,andthoughttoherselfthatperhapsitwasonlythepepperthathadmadehersosavagewhentheymetinthekitchen.

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'WhenI'MaDuchess,'shesaidtoherself,(notinaveryhopefultonethough),'Iwon'thaveanypepperinmykitchenATALL.Soupdoesverywellwithout--Maybeit'salwayspepperthatmakespeoplehot-tempered,'shewenton,verymuchpleasedathavingfoundoutanewkindofrule,'andvinegarthatmakesthemsour--andcamomilethatmakesthembitter--and--andbarley-sugarandsuchthingsthatmakechildrensweet-tempered.Ionlywishpeopleknewthat:thentheywouldn'tbesostingyaboutit,youknow--'

ShehadquiteforgottentheDuchessbythistime,andwasalittlestartledwhensheheardhervoiceclosetoherear.'You'rethinkingaboutsomething,mydear,andthatmakesyouforgettotalk.Ican'ttellyoujustnowwhatthemoralofthatis,butIshallrememberitinabit.'

'Perhapsithasn'tone,'Aliceventuredtoremark.

'Tut,tut,child!'saidtheDuchess.'Everything'sgotamoral,ifonlyyoucanfindit.'AndshesqueezedherselfupclosertoAlice'ssideasshespoke.

Alicedidnotmuchlikekeepingsoclosetoher:first,becausetheDuchesswasVERYugly;andsecondly,becauseshewasexactlythe

rightheighttorestherchinuponAlice'sshoulder,anditwasanuncomfortablysharpchin.However,shedidnotliketoberude,sosheboreitaswellasshecould.

'Thegame'sgoingonratherbetternow,'shesaid,bywayofkeepinguptheconversationalittle.

''Tisso,'saidtheDuchess:'andthemoralofthatis--"Oh,'tislove,'tislove,thatmakestheworldgoround!"'

'Somebodysaid,'Alicewhispered,'thatit'sdonebyeverybodymindingtheirownbusiness!'

'Ah,well!Itmeansmuchthesamething,'saidtheDuchess,digginghersharplittlechinintoAlice'sshoulderassheadded,'andthemoralofTHATis--"Takecareofthesense,andthesoundswilltakecareofthemselves."'

'Howfondsheisoffindingmoralsinthings!'Alicethoughttoherself.

'Idaresayyou'rewonderingwhyIdon'tputmyarmroundyourwaist,'theDuchesssaidafterapause:'thereasonis,thatI'mdoubtfulaboutthetemperofyourflamingo.ShallItrytheexperiment?'

'HEmightbite,'Alicecautiouslyreplied,notfeelingatallanxioustohavetheexperimenttried.

'Verytrue,'saidtheDuchess:'flamingoesandmustardbothbite.Andthemoralofthatis--"Birdsofafeatherflocktogether."'

'Onlymustardisn'tabird,'Aliceremarked.

'Right,asusual,'saidtheDuchess:'whataclearwayyouhaveofputtingthings!'

'It'samineral,ITHINK,'saidAlice.

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'Ofcourseitis,'saidtheDuchess,whoseemedreadytoagreetoeverythingthatAlicesaid;'there'salargemustard-minenearhere.Andthemoralofthatis--"Themorethereisofmine,thelessthereisofyours."'

'Oh,Iknow!'exclaimedAlice,whohadnotattendedtothislastremark,'it'savegetable.Itdoesn'tlooklikeone,butitis.'

'Iquiteagreewithyou,'saidtheDuchess;'andthemoralofthatis--"Bewhatyouwouldseemtobe"--orifyou'dlikeitputmoresimply--"Neverimagineyourselfnottobeotherwisethanwhatitmightappeartoothersthatwhatyouwereormighthavebeenwasnototherwisethanwhatyouhadbeenwouldhaveappearedtothemtobeotherwise."'

'IthinkIshouldunderstandthatbetter,'Alicesaidverypolitely,'ifIhaditwrittendown:butIcan'tquitefollowitasyousayit.'

'That'snothingtowhatIcouldsayifIchose,'theDuchessreplied,inapleasedtone.

'Praydon'ttroubleyourselftosayitanylongerthanthat,'saidAlice.

'Oh,don'ttalkabouttrouble!'saidtheDuchess.'ImakeyouapresentofeverythingI'vesaidasyet.'

'Acheapsortofpresent!'thoughtAlice.'I'mgladtheydon'tgivebirthdaypresentslikethat!'Butshedidnotventuretosayitoutloud.

'Thinkingagain?'theDuchessasked,withanotherdigofhersharplittlechin.

'I'vearighttothink,'saidAlicesharply,forshewasbeginningtofeelalittleworried.

'Justaboutasmuchright,'saidtheDuchess,'aspigshavetofly;andthem--'

Buthere,toAlice'sgreatsurprise,theDuchess'svoicediedaway,eveninthemiddleofherfavouriteword'moral,'andthearmthatwaslinkedintohersbegantotremble.Alicelookedup,andtherestoodtheQueeninfrontofthem,withherarmsfolded,frowninglikeathunderstorm.

'Afineday,yourMajesty!'theDuchessbeganinalow,weakvoice.

'Now,Igiveyoufairwarning,'shoutedtheQueen,stampingonthegroundasshespoke;'eitheryouoryourheadmustbeoff,andthatinabouthalfnotime!Takeyourchoice!'

TheDuchesstookherchoice,andwasgoneinamoment.

'Let'sgoonwiththegame,'theQueensaidtoAlice;andAlicewastoomuchfrightenedtosayaword,butslowlyfollowedherbacktothecroquet-ground.

TheotherguestshadtakenadvantageoftheQueen'sabsence,andwererestingintheshade:however,themomenttheysawher,theyhurriedbacktothegame,theQueenmerelyremarkingthatamoment'sdelaywould

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costthemtheirlives.

AllthetimetheywereplayingtheQueenneverleftoffquarrellingwiththeotherplayers,andshouting'Offwithhishead!'or'Offwithherhead!'Thosewhomshesentencedweretakenintocustodybythesoldiers,whoofcoursehadtoleaveoffbeingarchestodothis,sothatbytheendofhalfanhourorsotherewerenoarchesleft,andalltheplayers,excepttheKing,theQueen,andAlice,wereincustodyandundersentenceofexecution.

ThentheQueenleftoff,quiteoutofbreath,andsaidtoAlice,'HaveyouseentheMockTurtleyet?'

'No,'saidAlice.'Idon'tevenknowwhataMockTurtleis.'

'It'sthethingMockTurtleSoupismadefrom,'saidtheQueen.

'Ineversawone,orheardofone,'saidAlice.

'Comeon,then,'saidtheQueen,'andheshalltellyouhishistory,'

Astheywalkedofftogether,AliceheardtheKingsayinalowvoice,tothecompanygenerally,'Youareallpardoned.''Come,THAT'Sagoodthing!'shesaidtoherself,forshehadfeltquiteunhappyatthe

numberofexecutionstheQueenhadordered.

TheyverysooncameuponaGryphon,lyingfastasleepinthesun.(IFyoudon'tknowwhataGryphonis,lookatthepicture.)'Up,lazything!'saidtheQueen,'andtakethisyoungladytoseetheMockTurtle,andtohearhishistory.ImustgobackandseeaftersomeexecutionsIhaveordered';andshewalkedoff,leavingAlicealonewiththeGryphon.Alicedidnotquitelikethelookofthecreature,butonthewholeshethoughtitwouldbequiteassafetostaywithitastogoafterthatsavageQueen:soshewaited.

TheGryphonsatupandrubbeditseyes:thenitwatchedtheQueentillshewasoutofsight:thenitchuckled.'Whatfun!'saidtheGryphon,

halftoitself,halftoAlice.

'WhatISthefun?'saidAlice.

'Why,SHE,'saidtheGryphon.'It'sallherfancy,that:theyneverexecutesnobody,youknow.Comeon!'

'Everybodysays"comeon!"here,'thoughtAlice,asshewentslowlyafterit:'Ineverwassoorderedaboutinallmylife,never!'

TheyhadnotgonefarbeforetheysawtheMockTurtleinthedistance,sittingsadandlonelyonalittleledgeofrock,and,astheycamenearer,Alicecouldhearhimsighingasifhisheartwouldbreak.She

pitiedhimdeeply.'Whatishissorrow?'sheaskedtheGryphon,andtheGryphonanswered,verynearlyinthesamewordsasbefore,'It'sallhisfancy,that:hehasn'tgotnosorrow,youknow.Comeon!'

SotheywentuptotheMockTurtle,wholookedatthemwithlargeeyesfulloftears,butsaidnothing.

'Thishereyounglady,'saidtheGryphon,'shewantsfortoknowyourhistory,shedo.'

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'I'lltellither,'saidtheMockTurtleinadeep,hollowtone:'sitdown,bothofyou,anddon'tspeakawordtillI'vefinished.'

Sotheysatdown,andnobodyspokeforsomeminutes.Alicethoughttoherself,'Idon'tseehowhecanEVENfinish,ifhedoesn'tbegin.'Butshewaitedpatiently.

'Once,'saidtheMockTurtleatlast,withadeepsigh,'IwasarealTurtle.'

Thesewordswerefollowedbyaverylongsilence,brokenonlybyanoccasionalexclamationof'Hjckrrh!'fromtheGryphon,andtheconstantheavysobbingoftheMockTurtle.Alicewasverynearlygettingupandsaying,'Thankyou,sir,foryourinterestingstory,'butshecouldnothelpthinkingthereMUSTbemoretocome,soshesatstillandsaidnothing.

'Whenwewerelittle,'theMockTurtlewentonatlast,morecalmly,thoughstillsobbingalittlenowandthen,'wewenttoschoolinthesea.ThemasterwasanoldTurtle--weusedtocallhimTortoise--'

'WhydidyoucallhimTortoise,ifhewasn'tone?'Aliceasked.

'WecalledhimTortoisebecausehetaughtus,'saidtheMockTurtle

angrily:'reallyyouareverydull!'

'Yououghttobeashamedofyourselfforaskingsuchasimplequestion,'addedtheGryphon;andthentheybothsatsilentandlookedatpoorAlice,whofeltreadytosinkintotheearth.AtlasttheGryphonsaidtotheMockTurtle,'Driveon,oldfellow!Don'tbealldayaboutit!'andhewentoninthesewords:

'Yes,wewenttoschoolinthesea,thoughyoumayn'tbelieveit--'

'IneversaidIdidn't!'interruptedAlice.

'Youdid,'saidtheMockTurtle.

'Holdyourtongue!'addedtheGryphon,beforeAlicecouldspeakagain.TheMockTurtlewenton.

'Wehadthebestofeducations--infact,wewenttoschooleveryday--'

'I'VEbeentoaday-school,too,'saidAlice;'youneedn'tbesoproudasallthat.'

'Withextras?'askedtheMockTurtlealittleanxiously.

'Yes,'saidAlice,'welearnedFrenchandmusic.'

'Andwashing?'saidtheMockTurtle.

'Certainlynot!'saidAliceindignantly.

'Ah!thenyourswasn'tareallygoodschool,'saidtheMockTurtleinatoneofgreatrelief.'NowatOURStheyhadattheendofthebill,"French,music,ANDWASHING--extra."'

'Youcouldn'thavewanteditmuch,'saidAlice;'livingatthebottomofthesea.'

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'Icouldn'taffordtolearnit.'saidtheMockTurtlewithasigh.'Ionlytooktheregularcourse.'

'Whatwasthat?'inquiredAlice.

'ReelingandWrithing,ofcourse,tobeginwith,'theMockTurtlereplied;'andthenthedifferentbranchesofArithmetic--Ambition,Distraction,Uglification,andDerision.'

'Ineverheardof"Uglification,"'Aliceventuredtosay.'Whatisit?'

TheGryphonliftedupbothitspawsinsurprise.'What!Neverheardofuglifying!'itexclaimed.'Youknowwhattobeautifyis,Isuppose?'

'Yes,'saidAlicedoubtfully:'itmeans--to--make--anything--prettier.'

'Well,then,'theGryphonwenton,'ifyoudon'tknowwhattouglifyis,youAREasimpleton.'

Alicedidnotfeelencouragedtoaskanymorequestionsaboutit,sosheturnedtotheMockTurtle,andsaid'Whatelsehadyoutolearn?'

'Well,therewasMystery,'theMockTurtlereplied,countingoff

thesubjectsonhisflappers,'--Mystery,ancientandmodern,withSeaography:thenDrawling--theDrawling-masterwasanoldconger-eel,thatusedtocomeonceaweek:HEtaughtusDrawling,Stretching,andFaintinginCoils.'

'WhatwasTHATlike?'saidAlice.

'Well,Ican'tshowityoumyself,'theMockTurtlesaid:'I'mtoostiff.AndtheGryphonneverlearntit.'

'Hadn'ttime,'saidtheGryphon:'IwenttotheClassicsmaster,though.Hewasanoldcrab,HEwas.'

'Ineverwenttohim,'theMockTurtlesaidwithasigh:'hetaughtLaughingandGrief,theyusedtosay.'

'Sohedid,sohedid,'saidtheGryphon,sighinginhisturn;andbothcreatureshidtheirfacesintheirpaws.

'Andhowmanyhoursadaydidyoudolessons?'saidAlice,inahurrytochangethesubject.

'Tenhoursthefirstday,'saidtheMockTurtle:'ninethenext,andsoon.'

'Whatacuriousplan!'exclaimedAlice.

'That'sthereasonthey'recalledlessons,'theGryphonremarked:'becausetheylessenfromdaytoday.'

ThiswasquiteanewideatoAlice,andshethoughtitoveralittlebeforeshemadehernextremark.'Thentheeleventhdaymusthavebeenaholiday?'

'Ofcourseitwas,'saidtheMockTurtle.

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'Andhowdidyoumanageonthetwelfth?'Alicewentoneagerly.

'That'senoughaboutlessons,'theGryphoninterruptedinaverydecidedtone:'tellhersomethingaboutthegamesnow.'

CHAPTERX.TheLobsterQuadrille

TheMockTurtlesigheddeeply,anddrewthebackofoneflapperacrosshiseyes.HelookedatAlice,andtriedtospeak,butforaminuteortwosobschokedhisvoice.'Sameasifhehadaboneinhisthroat,'saidtheGryphon:anditsettoworkshakinghimandpunchinghimintheback.AtlasttheMockTurtlerecoveredhisvoice,and,withtearsrunningdownhischeeks,hewentonagain:--

'Youmaynothavelivedmuchunderthesea--'('Ihaven't,'saidAlice)--'andperhapsyouwereneverevenintroducedtoalobster--'(Alicebegantosay'Ioncetasted--'butcheckedherselfhastily,andsaid'No,never')'--soyoucanhavenoideawhatadelightfulthingaLobsterQuadrilleis!'

'No,indeed,'saidAlice.'Whatsortofadanceisit?'

'Why,'saidtheGryphon,'youfirstformintoalinealongthesea-shore--'

'Twolines!'criedtheMockTurtle.'Seals,turtles,salmon,andsoon;then,whenyou'veclearedallthejelly-fishoutoftheway--'

'THATgenerallytakessometime,'interruptedtheGryphon.

'--youadvancetwice--'

'Eachwithalobsterasapartner!'criedtheGryphon.

'Ofcourse,'theMockTurtlesaid:'advancetwice,settopartners--'

'--changelobsters,andretireinsameorder,'continuedtheGryphon.

'Then,youknow,'theMockTurtlewenton,'youthrowthe--'

'Thelobsters!'shoutedtheGryphon,withaboundintotheair.

'--asfarouttoseaasyoucan--'

'Swimafterthem!'screamedtheGryphon.

'Turnasomersaultinthesea!'criedtheMockTurtle,caperingwildly

about.

'Changelobstersagain!'yelledtheGryphonatthetopofitsvoice.

'Backtolandagain,andthat'sallthefirstfigure,'saidtheMockTurtle,suddenlydroppinghisvoice;andthetwocreatures,whohadbeenjumpingaboutlikemadthingsallthistime,satdownagainverysadlyandquietly,andlookedatAlice.

'Itmustbeaveryprettydance,'saidAlicetimidly.

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'Wouldyouliketoseealittleofit?'saidtheMockTurtle.

'Verymuchindeed,'saidAlice.

'Come,let'strythefirstfigure!'saidtheMockTurtletotheGryphon.'Wecandowithoutlobsters,youknow.Whichshallsing?'

'Oh,YOUsing,'saidtheGryphon.'I'veforgottenthewords.'

SotheybegansolemnlydancingroundandroundAlice,everynowandthentreadingonhertoeswhentheypassedtooclose,andwavingtheirforepawstomarkthetime,whiletheMockTurtlesangthis,veryslowlyandsadly:--

'"Willyouwalkalittlefaster?"saidawhitingtoasnail."There'saporpoiseclosebehindus,andhe'streadingonmytail.

Seehoweagerlythelobstersandtheturtlesalladvance!Theyarewaitingontheshingle--willyoucomeandjointhedance?

Willyou,won'tyou,willyou,won'tyou,willyoujointhedance?Willyou,won'tyou,willyou,won'tyou,won'tyoujointhedance?

"YoucanreallyhavenonotionhowdelightfulitwillbeWhentheytakeusupandthrowus,withthelobsters,outtosea!"Butthesnailreplied"Toofar,toofar!"andgavealookaskance--Saidhethankedthewhitingkindly,buthewouldnotjointhedance.

Wouldnot,couldnot,wouldnot,couldnot,wouldnotjointhedance.Wouldnot,couldnot,wouldnot,couldnot,couldnotjointhedance.

'"Whatmattersithowfarwego?"hisscalyfriendreplied."Thereisanothershore,youknow,upontheotherside.ThefurtherofffromEnglandtheneareristoFrance--Thenturnnotpale,belovedsnail,butcomeandjointhedance.

Willyou,won'tyou,willyou,won'tyou,willyoujointhedance?Willyou,won'tyou,willyou,won'tyou,won'tyoujointhedance?"'

'Thankyou,it'saveryinterestingdancetowatch,'saidAlice,feelingverygladthatitwasoveratlast:'andIdosolikethatcurioussongaboutthewhiting!'

'Oh,astothewhiting,'saidtheMockTurtle,'they--you'veseenthem,ofcourse?'

'Yes,'saidAlice,'I'veoftenseenthematdinn--'shecheckedherselfhastily.

'Idon'tknowwhereDinnmaybe,'saidtheMockTurtle,'butifyou'veseenthemsooften,ofcourseyouknowwhatthey'relike.'

'Ibelieveso,'Alicerepliedthoughtfully.'Theyhavetheirtailsintheirmouths--andthey'reallovercrumbs.'

'You'rewrongaboutthecrumbs,'saidtheMockTurtle:'crumbswouldallwashoffinthesea.ButtheyHAVEtheirtailsintheirmouths;andthereasonis--'heretheMockTurtleyawnedandshuthiseyes.--'Tellheraboutthereasonandallthat,'hesaidtotheGryphon.

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'Thereasonis,'saidtheGryphon,'thattheyWOULDgowiththelobsterstothedance.Sotheygotthrownouttosea.Sotheyhadtofallalongway.Sotheygottheirtailsfastintheirmouths.Sotheycouldn'tgetthemoutagain.That'sall.'

'Thankyou,'saidAlice,'it'sveryinteresting.Ineverknewsomuchaboutawhitingbefore.'

'Icantellyoumorethanthat,ifyoulike,'saidtheGryphon.'Doyouknowwhyit'scalledawhiting?'

'Ineverthoughtaboutit,'saidAlice.'Why?'

'ITDOESTHEBOOTSANDSHOES.'theGryphonrepliedverysolemnly.

Alicewasthoroughlypuzzled.'Doesthebootsandshoes!'sherepeatedinawonderingtone.

'Why,whatareYOURshoesdonewith?'saidtheGryphon.'Imean,whatmakesthemsoshiny?'

Alicelookeddownatthem,andconsideredalittlebeforeshegaveheranswer.'They'redonewithblacking,Ibelieve.'

'Bootsandshoesunderthesea,'theGryphonwentoninadeepvoice,'aredonewithawhiting.Nowyouknow.'

'Andwhataretheymadeof?'Aliceaskedinatoneofgreatcuriosity.

'Solesandeels,ofcourse,'theGryphonrepliedratherimpatiently:'anyshrimpcouldhavetoldyouthat.'

'IfI'dbeenthewhiting,'saidAlice,whosethoughtswerestillrunningonthesong,'I'dhavesaidtotheporpoise,"Keepback,please:wedon'twantYOUwithus!"'

'Theywereobligedtohavehimwiththem,'theMockTurtlesaid:'nowisefishwouldgoanywherewithoutaporpoise.'

'Wouldn'titreally?'saidAliceinatoneofgreatsurprise.

'Ofcoursenot,'saidtheMockTurtle:'why,ifafishcametoME,andtoldmehewasgoingajourney,Ishouldsay"Withwhatporpoise?"'

'Don'tyoumean"purpose"?'saidAlice.

'ImeanwhatIsay,'theMockTurtlerepliedinanoffendedtone.AndtheGryphonadded'Come,let'shearsomeofYOURadventures.'

'Icouldtellyoumyadventures--beginningfromthismorning,'saidAlicealittletimidly:'butit'snousegoingbacktoyesterday,becauseIwasadifferentpersonthen.'

'Explainallthat,'saidtheMockTurtle.

'No,no!Theadventuresfirst,'saidtheGryphoninanimpatienttone:'explanationstakesuchadreadfultime.'

SoAlicebegantellingthemheradventuresfromthetimewhenshefirst

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sawtheWhiteRabbit.Shewasalittlenervousaboutitjustatfirst,thetwocreaturesgotsoclosetoher,oneoneachside,andopenedtheireyesandmouthssoVERYwide,butshegainedcourageasshewenton.Herlistenerswereperfectlyquiettillshegottothepartaboutherrepeating'YOUAREOLD,FATHERWILLIAM,'totheCaterpillar,andthewordsallcomingdifferent,andthentheMockTurtledrewalongbreath,andsaid'That'sverycurious.'

'It'sallaboutascuriousasitcanbe,'saidtheGryphon.

'Itallcamedifferent!'theMockTurtlerepeatedthoughtfully.'Ishouldliketohearhertryandrepeatsomethingnow.Tellhertobegin.'HelookedattheGryphonasifhethoughtithadsomekindofauthorityoverAlice.

'Standupandrepeat"'TISTHEVOICEOFTHESLUGGARD,"'saidtheGryphon.

'Howthecreaturesorderoneabout,andmakeonerepeatlessons!'thoughtAlice;'Imightaswellbeatschoolatonce.'However,shegotup,andbegantorepeatit,butherheadwassofulloftheLobsterQuadrille,thatshehardlyknewwhatshewassaying,andthewordscameveryqueerindeed:--

''TisthevoiceoftheLobster;Iheardhimdeclare,"Youhavebakedmetoobrown,Imustsugarmyhair."Asaduckwithitseyelids,sohewithhisnoseTrimshisbeltandhisbuttons,andturnsouthistoes.'

[latereditionscontinuedasfollowsWhenthesandsarealldry,heisgayasalark,AndwilltalkincontemptuoustonesoftheShark,But,whenthetiderisesandsharksarearound,Hisvoicehasatimidandtremuloussound.]

'That'sdifferentfromwhatIusedtosaywhenIwasachild,'saidtheGryphon.

'Well,Ineverhearditbefore,'saidtheMockTurtle;'butitsoundsuncommonnonsense.'

Alicesaidnothing;shehadsatdownwithherfaceinherhands,wonderingifanythingwouldEVERhappeninanaturalwayagain.

'Ishouldliketohaveitexplained,'saidtheMockTurtle.

'Shecan'texplainit,'saidtheGryphonhastily.'Goonwiththenextverse.'

'Butabouthistoes?'theMockTurtlepersisted.'HowCOULDheturnthem

outwithhisnose,youknow?'

'It'sthefirstpositionindancing.'Alicesaid;butwasdreadfullypuzzledbythewholething,andlongedtochangethesubject.

'Goonwiththenextverse,'theGryphonrepeatedimpatiently:'itbegins"Ipassedbyhisgarden."'

Alicedidnotdaretodisobey,thoughshefeltsureitwouldallcomewrong,andshewentoninatremblingvoice:--

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'Ipassedbyhisgarden,andmarked,withoneeye,HowtheOwlandthePantherweresharingapie--'

[latereditionscontinuedasfollowsThePanthertookpie-crust,andgravy,andmeat,WhiletheOwlhadthedishasitsshareofthetreat.Whenthepiewasallfinished,theOwl,asaboon,Waskindlypermittedtopocketthespoon:WhilethePantherreceivedknifeandforkwithagrowl,Andconcludedthebanquet--]

'WhatIStheuseofrepeatingallthatstuff,'theMockTurtleinterrupted,'ifyoudon'texplainitasyougoon?It'sbyfarthemostconfusingthingIeverheard!'

'Yes,Ithinkyou'dbetterleaveoff,'saidtheGryphon:andAlicewasonlytoogladtodoso.

'ShallwetryanotherfigureoftheLobsterQuadrille?'theGryphonwenton.'OrwouldyouliketheMockTurtletosingyouasong?'

'Oh,asong,please,iftheMockTurtlewouldbesokind,'Alicereplied,soeagerlythattheGryphonsaid,inaratheroffendedtone,

'Hm!Noaccountingfortastes!Singher"TurtleSoup,"willyou,oldfellow?'

TheMockTurtlesigheddeeply,andbegan,inavoicesometimeschokedwithsobs,tosingthis:--

'BeautifulSoup,sorichandgreen,Waitinginahottureen!Whoforsuchdaintieswouldnotstoop?Soupoftheevening,beautifulSoup!Soupoftheevening,beautifulSoup!Beau--ootifulSoo--oop!Beau--ootifulSoo--oop!

Soo--oopofthee--e--evening,Beautiful,beautifulSoup!

'BeautifulSoup!Whocaresforfish,Game,oranyotherdish?WhowouldnotgiveallelsefortwoPennyworthonlyofbeautifulSoup?PennyworthonlyofbeautifulSoup?Beau--ootifulSoo--oop!Beau--ootifulSoo--oop!Soo--oopofthee--e--evening,Beautiful,beauti--FULSOUP!'

'Chorusagain!'criedtheGryphon,andtheMockTurtlehadjustbeguntorepeatit,whenacryof'Thetrial'sbeginning!'washeardinthedistance.

'Comeon!'criedtheGryphon,and,takingAlicebythehand,ithurriedoff,withoutwaitingfortheendofthesong.

'Whattrialisit?'Alicepantedassheran;buttheGryphononlyanswered'Comeon!'andranthefaster,whilemoreandmorefaintlycame,carriedonthebreezethatfollowedthem,themelancholywords:--

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'Soo--oopofthee--e--evening,Beautiful,beautifulSoup!'

CHAPTERXI.WhoStoletheTarts?

TheKingandQueenofHeartswereseatedontheirthronewhentheyarrived,withagreatcrowdassembledaboutthem--allsortsoflittlebirdsandbeasts,aswellasthewholepackofcards:theKnavewasstandingbeforethem,inchains,withasoldieroneachsidetoguardhim;andneartheKingwastheWhiteRabbit,withatrumpetinonehand,andascrollofparchmentintheother.Intheverymiddleofthecourtwasatable,withalargedishoftartsuponit:theylookedsogood,thatitmadeAlicequitehungrytolookatthem--'Iwishthey'dgetthetrialdone,'shethought,'andhandroundtherefreshments!'Butthereseemedtobenochanceofthis,soshebeganlookingateverythingabouther,topassawaythetime.

Alicehadneverbeeninacourtofjusticebefore,butshehadreadabouttheminbooks,andshewasquitepleasedtofindthatsheknewthenameofnearlyeverythingthere.'That'sthejudge,'shesaidto

herself,'becauseofhisgreatwig.'

Thejudge,bytheway,wastheKing;andasheworehiscrownoverthewig,(lookatthefrontispieceifyouwanttoseehowhedidit,)hedidnotlookatallcomfortable,anditwascertainlynotbecoming.

'Andthat'sthejury-box,'thoughtAlice,'andthosetwelvecreatures,'(shewasobligedtosay'creatures,'yousee,becausesomeofthemwereanimals,andsomewerebirds,)'Isupposetheyarethejurors.'Shesaidthislastwordtwoorthreetimesovertoherself,beingratherproudofit:forshethought,andrightlytoo,thatveryfewlittlegirlsofherageknewthemeaningofitatall.However,'jury-men'wouldhavedonejustaswell.

Thetwelvejurorswereallwritingverybusilyonslates.'Whataretheydoing?'AlicewhisperedtotheGryphon.'Theycan'thaveanythingtoputdownyet,beforethetrial'sbegun.'

'They'reputtingdowntheirnames,'theGryphonwhisperedinreply,'forfeartheyshouldforgetthembeforetheendofthetrial.'

'Stupidthings!'Alicebeganinaloud,indignantvoice,butshestoppedhastily,fortheWhiteRabbitcriedout,'Silenceinthecourt!'andtheKingputonhisspectaclesandlookedanxiouslyround,tomakeoutwhowastalking.

Alicecouldsee,aswellasifshewerelookingovertheirshoulders,thatallthejurorswerewritingdown'stupidthings!'ontheirslates,andshecouldevenmakeoutthatoneofthemdidn'tknowhowtospell'stupid,'andthathehadtoaskhisneighbourtotellhim.'Anicemuddletheirslates'llbeinbeforethetrial'sover!'thoughtAlice.

Oneofthejurorshadapencilthatsqueaked.Thisofcourse,Alicecouldnotstand,andshewentroundthecourtandgotbehindhim,andverysoonfoundanopportunityoftakingitaway.Shediditsoquicklythatthepoorlittlejuror(itwasBill,theLizard)couldnotmakeout

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atallwhathadbecomeofit;so,afterhuntingallaboutforit,hewasobligedtowritewithonefingerfortherestoftheday;andthiswasofverylittleuse,asitleftnomarkontheslate.

'Herald,readtheaccusation!'saidtheKing.

OnthistheWhiteRabbitblewthreeblastsonthetrumpet,andthenunrolledtheparchmentscroll,andreadasfollows:--

'TheQueenofHearts,shemadesometarts,Allonasummerday:TheKnaveofHearts,hestolethosetarts,Andtookthemquiteaway!'

'Consideryourverdict,'theKingsaidtothejury.

'Notyet,notyet!'theRabbithastilyinterrupted.'There'sagreatdealtocomebeforethat!'

'Callthefirstwitness,'saidtheKing;andtheWhiteRabbitblewthreeblastsonthetrumpet,andcalledout,'Firstwitness!'

ThefirstwitnesswastheHatter.Hecameinwithateacupinonehandandapieceofbread-and-butterintheother.'Ibegpardon,your

Majesty,'hebegan,'forbringingthesein:butIhadn'tquitefinishedmyteawhenIwassentfor.'

'Yououghttohavefinished,'saidtheKing.'Whendidyoubegin?'

TheHatterlookedattheMarchHare,whohadfollowedhimintothecourt,arm-in-armwiththeDormouse.'FourteenthofMarch,Ithinkitwas,'hesaid.

'Fifteenth,'saidtheMarchHare.

'Sixteenth,'addedtheDormouse.

'Writethatdown,'theKingsaidtothejury,andthejuryeagerlywrotedownallthreedatesontheirslates,andthenaddedthemup,andreducedtheanswertoshillingsandpence.

'Takeoffyourhat,'theKingsaidtotheHatter.

'Itisn'tmine,'saidtheHatter.

'Stolen!'theKingexclaimed,turningtothejury,whoinstantlymadeamemorandumofthefact.

'Ikeepthemtosell,'theHatteraddedasanexplanation;'I'venoneofmyown.I'mahatter.'

HeretheQueenputonherspectacles,andbeganstaringattheHatter,whoturnedpaleandfidgeted.

'Giveyourevidence,'saidtheKing;'anddon'tbenervous,orI'llhaveyouexecutedonthespot.'

Thisdidnotseemtoencouragethewitnessatall:hekeptshiftingfromonefoottotheother,lookinguneasilyattheQueen,andinhisconfusionhebitalargepieceoutofhisteacupinsteadofthe

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bread-and-butter.

JustatthismomentAlicefeltaverycurioussensation,whichpuzzledheragooddealuntilshemadeoutwhatitwas:shewasbeginningtogrowlargeragain,andshethoughtatfirstshewouldgetupandleavethecourt;butonsecondthoughtsshedecidedtoremainwhereshewasaslongastherewasroomforher.

'Iwishyouwouldn'tsqueezeso.'saidtheDormouse,whowassittingnexttoher.'Icanhardlybreathe.'

'Ican'thelpit,'saidAliceverymeekly:'I'mgrowing.'

'You'venorighttogrowhere,'saidtheDormouse.

'Don'ttalknonsense,'saidAlicemoreboldly:'youknowyou'regrowingtoo.'

'Yes,butIgrowatareasonablepace,'saidtheDormouse:'notinthatridiculousfashion.'Andhegotupverysulkilyandcrossedovertotheothersideofthecourt.

AllthistimetheQueenhadneverleftoffstaringattheHatter,and,justastheDormousecrossedthecourt,shesaidtooneoftheofficers

ofthecourt,'Bringmethelistofthesingersinthelastconcert!'onwhichthewretchedHattertrembledso,thatheshookbothhisshoesoff.

'Giveyourevidence,'theKingrepeatedangrily,'orI'llhaveyouexecuted,whetheryou'renervousornot.'

'I'mapoorman,yourMajesty,'theHatterbegan,inatremblingvoice,'--andIhadn'tbegunmytea--notaboveaweekorso--andwhatwiththebread-and-buttergettingsothin--andthetwinklingofthetea--'

'Thetwinklingofthewhat?'saidtheKing.

'Itbeganwiththetea,'theHatterreplied.

'OfcoursetwinklingbeginswithaT!'saidtheKingsharply.'Doyoutakemeforadunce?Goon!'

'I'mapoorman,'theHatterwenton,'andmostthingstwinkledafterthat--onlytheMarchHaresaid--'

'Ididn't!'theMarchHareinterruptedinagreathurry.

'Youdid!'saidtheHatter.

'Idenyit!'saidtheMarchHare.

'Hedeniesit,'saidtheKing:'leaveoutthatpart.'

'Well,atanyrate,theDormousesaid--'theHatterwenton,lookinganxiouslyroundtoseeifhewoulddenyittoo:buttheDormousedeniednothing,beingfastasleep.

'Afterthat,'continuedtheHatter,'Icutsomemorebread-and-butter--'

'ButwhatdidtheDormousesay?'oneofthejuryasked.

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'ThatIcan'tremember,'saidtheHatter.

'YouMUSTremember,'remarkedtheKing,'orI'llhaveyouexecuted.'

ThemiserableHatterdroppedhisteacupandbread-and-butter,andwentdownononeknee.'I'mapoorman,yourMajesty,'hebegan.

'You'reaverypoorspeaker,'saidtheKing.

Hereoneoftheguinea-pigscheered,andwasimmediatelysuppressedbytheofficersofthecourt.(Asthatisratherahardword,Iwilljustexplaintoyouhowitwasdone.Theyhadalargecanvasbag,whichtiedupatthemouthwithstrings:intothistheyslippedtheguinea-pig,headfirst,andthensatuponit.)

'I'mgladI'veseenthatdone,'thoughtAlice.'I'vesooftenreadinthenewspapers,attheendoftrials,"Therewassomeattemptsatapplause,whichwasimmediatelysuppressedbytheofficersofthecourt,"andIneverunderstoodwhatitmeanttillnow.'

'Ifthat'sallyouknowaboutit,youmaystanddown,'continuedtheKing.

'Ican'tgonolower,'saidtheHatter:'I'monthefloor,asitis.'

'ThenyoumaySITdown,'theKingreplied.

Heretheotherguinea-pigcheered,andwassuppressed.

'Come,thatfinishedtheguinea-pigs!'thoughtAlice.'Nowweshallgetonbetter.'

'I'dratherfinishmytea,'saidtheHatter,withananxiouslookattheQueen,whowasreadingthelistofsingers.

'Youmaygo,'saidtheKing,andtheHatterhurriedlyleftthecourt,withoutevenwaitingtoputhisshoeson.

'--andjusttakehisheadoffoutside,'theQueenaddedtooneoftheofficers:buttheHatterwasoutofsightbeforetheofficercouldgettothedoor.

'Callthenextwitness!'saidtheKing.

ThenextwitnesswastheDuchess'scook.Shecarriedthepepper-boxinherhand,andAliceguessedwhoitwas,evenbeforeshegotintothecourt,bythewaythepeoplenearthedoorbegansneezingallatonce.

'Giveyourevidence,'saidtheKing.

'Shan't,'saidthecook.

TheKinglookedanxiouslyattheWhiteRabbit,whosaidinalowvoice,'YourMajestymustcross-examineTHISwitness.'

'Well,ifImust,Imust,'theKingsaid,withamelancholyair,and,afterfoldinghisarmsandfrowningatthecooktillhiseyeswerenearlyoutofsight,hesaidinadeepvoice,'Whataretartsmadeof?'

'Pepper,mostly,'saidthecook.

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'Treacle,'saidasleepyvoicebehindher.

'CollarthatDormouse,'theQueenshriekedout.'BeheadthatDormouse!TurnthatDormouseoutofcourt!Suppresshim!Pinchhim!Offwithhiswhiskers!'

Forsomeminutesthewholecourtwasinconfusion,gettingtheDormouseturnedout,and,bythetimetheyhadsettleddownagain,thecookhaddisappeared.

'Nevermind!'saidtheKing,withanairofgreatrelief.'Callthenextwitness.'AndheaddedinanundertonetotheQueen,'Really,mydear,YOUmustcross-examinethenextwitness.Itquitemakesmyforeheadache!'

AlicewatchedtheWhiteRabbitashefumbledoverthelist,feelingverycurioustoseewhatthenextwitnesswouldbelike,'--fortheyhaven'tgotmuchevidenceYET,'shesaidtoherself.Imaginehersurprise,whentheWhiteRabbitreadout,atthetopofhisshrilllittlevoice,thename'Alice!'

CHAPTERXII

Alice'sEvidence

'Here!'criedAlice,quiteforgettingintheflurryofthemomenthowlargeshehadgrowninthelastfewminutes,andshejumpedupinsuchahurrythatshetippedoverthejury-boxwiththeedgeofherskirt,upsettingallthejurymenontotheheadsofthecrowdbelow,andtheretheylaysprawlingabout,remindingherverymuchofaglobeofgoldfishshehadaccidentallyupsettheweekbefore.

'Oh,IBEGyourpardon!'sheexclaimedinatoneofgreatdismay,and

beganpickingthemupagainasquicklyasshecould,fortheaccidentofthegoldfishkeptrunninginherhead,andshehadavaguesortofideathattheymustbecollectedatonceandputbackintothejury-box,ortheywoulddie.

'Thetrialcannotproceed,'saidtheKinginaverygravevoice,'untilallthejurymenarebackintheirproperplaces--ALL,'herepeatedwithgreatemphasis,lookinghardatAliceashesaiddo.

Alicelookedatthejury-box,andsawthat,inherhaste,shehadputtheLizardinheaddownwards,andthepoorlittlethingwaswavingitstailaboutinamelancholyway,beingquiteunabletomove.Shesoongotitoutagain,andputitright;'notthatitsignifiesmuch,'shesaid

toherself;'IshouldthinkitwouldbeQUITEasmuchuseinthetrialonewayupastheother.'

Assoonasthejuryhadalittlerecoveredfromtheshockofbeingupset,andtheirslatesandpencilshadbeenfoundandhandedbacktothem,theysettoworkverydiligentlytowriteoutahistoryoftheaccident,allexcepttheLizard,whoseemedtoomuchovercometodoanythingbutsitwithitsmouthopen,gazingupintotheroofofthecourt.

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'Whatdoyouknowaboutthisbusiness?'theKingsaidtoAlice.

'Nothing,'saidAlice.

'NothingWHATEVER?'persistedtheKing.

'Nothingwhatever,'saidAlice.

'That'sveryimportant,'theKingsaid,turningtothejury.Theywerejustbeginningtowritethisdownontheirslates,whentheWhiteRabbitinterrupted:'UNimportant,yourMajestymeans,ofcourse,'hesaidinaveryrespectfultone,butfrowningandmakingfacesathimashespoke.

'UNimportant,ofcourse,Imeant,'theKinghastilysaid,andwentontohimselfinanundertone,

'important--unimportant--unimportant--important--'asifheweretryingwhichwordsoundedbest.

Someofthejurywroteitdown'important,'andsome'unimportant.'Alicecouldseethis,asshewasnearenoughtolookovertheirslates;'butitdoesn'tmatterabit,'shethoughttoherself.

AtthismomenttheKing,whohadbeenforsometimebusilywritingin

hisnote-book,cackledout'Silence!'andreadoutfromhisbook,'RuleForty-two.ALLPERSONSMORETHANAMILEHIGHTOLEAVETHECOURT.'

EverybodylookedatAlice.

'I'Mnotamilehigh,'saidAlice.

'Youare,'saidtheKing.

'Nearlytwomileshigh,'addedtheQueen.

'Well,Ishan'tgo,atanyrate,'saidAlice:'besides,that'snotaregularrule:youinventeditjustnow.'

'It'stheoldestruleinthebook,'saidtheKing.

'ThenitoughttobeNumberOne,'saidAlice.

TheKingturnedpale,andshuthisnote-bookhastily.'Consideryourverdict,'hesaidtothejury,inalow,tremblingvoice.

'There'smoreevidencetocomeyet,pleaseyourMajesty,'saidtheWhiteRabbit,jumpingupinagreathurry;'thispaperhasjustbeenpickedup.'

'What'sinit?'saidtheQueen.

'Ihaven'topenedityet,'saidtheWhiteRabbit,'butitseemstobealetter,writtenbytheprisonerto--tosomebody.'

'Itmusthavebeenthat,'saidtheKing,'unlessitwaswrittentonobody,whichisn'tusual,youknow.'

'Whoisitdirectedto?'saidoneofthejurymen.

'Itisn'tdirectedatall,'saidtheWhiteRabbit;'infact,there's

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nothingwrittenontheOUTSIDE.'Heunfoldedthepaperashespoke,andadded'Itisn'taletter,afterall:it'sasetofverses.'

'Aretheyintheprisoner'shandwriting?'askedanotherofthejurymen.

'No,they'renot,'saidtheWhiteRabbit,'andthat'sthequeerestthingaboutit.'(Thejuryalllookedpuzzled.)

'Hemusthaveimitatedsomebodyelse'shand,'saidtheKing.(Thejuryallbrightenedupagain.)

'PleaseyourMajesty,'saidtheKnave,'Ididn'twriteit,andtheycan'tproveIdid:there'snonamesignedattheend.'

'Ifyoudidn'tsignit,'saidtheKing,'thatonlymakesthematterworse.YouMUSThavemeantsomemischief,orelseyou'dhavesignedyournamelikeanhonestman.'

Therewasageneralclappingofhandsatthis:itwasthefirstreallycleverthingtheKinghadsaidthatday.

'ThatPROVEShisguilt,'saidtheQueen.

'Itprovesnothingofthesort!'saidAlice.'Why,youdon'tevenknow

whatthey'reabout!'

'Readthem,'saidtheKing.

TheWhiteRabbitputonhisspectacles.'WhereshallIbegin,pleaseyourMajesty?'heasked.

'Beginatthebeginning,'theKingsaidgravely,'andgoontillyoucometotheend:thenstop.'

TheseweretheversestheWhiteRabbitread:--

'Theytoldmeyouhadbeentoher,

Andmentionedmetohim:Shegavemeagoodcharacter,ButsaidIcouldnotswim.

HesentthemwordIhadnotgone(Weknowittobetrue):Ifsheshouldpushthematteron,Whatwouldbecomeofyou?

Igaveherone,theygavehimtwo,Yougaveusthreeormore;Theyallreturnedfromhimtoyou,Thoughtheywereminebefore.

IfIorsheshouldchancetobeInvolvedinthisaffair,Hetruststoyoutosetthemfree,Exactlyaswewere.

Mynotionwasthatyouhadbeen(Beforeshehadthisfit)AnobstaclethatcamebetweenHim,andourselves,andit.

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Don'tlethimknowshelikedthembest,ForthismusteverbeAsecret,keptfromalltherest,Betweenyourselfandme.'

'That'sthemostimportantpieceofevidencewe'veheardyet,'saidtheKing,rubbinghishands;'sonowletthejury--'

'Ifanyoneofthemcanexplainit,'saidAlice,(shehadgrownsolargeinthelastfewminutesthatshewasn'tabitafraidofinterruptinghim,)'I'llgivehimsixpence._I_don'tbelievethere'sanatomofmeaninginit.'

Thejuryallwrotedownontheirslates,'SHEdoesn'tbelievethere'sanatomofmeaninginit,'butnoneofthemattemptedtoexplainthepaper.

'Ifthere'snomeaninginit,'saidtheKing,'thatsavesaworldoftrouble,youknow,asweneedn'ttrytofindany.AndyetIdon'tknow,'hewenton,spreadingouttheversesonhisknee,andlookingatthemwithoneeye;'Iseemtoseesomemeaninginthem,afterall."--SAIDICOULDNOTSWIM--"youcan'tswim,canyou?'headded,turningtotheKnave.

TheKnaveshookhisheadsadly.'DoIlooklikeit?'hesaid.(WhichhecertainlydidNOT,beingmadeentirelyofcardboard.)

'Allright,sofar,'saidtheKing,andhewentonmutteringovertheversestohimself:'"WEKNOWITTOBETRUE--"that'sthejury,ofcourse--"IGAVEHERONE,THEYGAVEHIMTWO--"why,thatmustbewhathedidwiththetarts,youknow--'

'But,itgoeson"THEYALLRETURNEDFROMHIMTOYOU,"'saidAlice.

'Why,theretheyare!'saidtheKingtriumphantly,pointingtothetartsonthetable.'NothingcanbeclearerthanTHAT.Thenagain--"BEFORESHEHADTHISFIT--"youneverhadfits,mydear,Ithink?'hesaidtothe

Queen.

'Never!'saidtheQueenfuriously,throwinganinkstandattheLizardasshespoke.(TheunfortunatelittleBillhadleftoffwritingonhisslatewithonefinger,ashefounditmadenomark;buthenowhastilybeganagain,usingtheink,thatwastricklingdownhisface,aslongasitlasted.)

'Thenthewordsdon'tFITyou,'saidtheKing,lookingroundthecourtwithasmile.Therewasadeadsilence.

'It'sapun!'theKingaddedinanoffendedtone,andeverybodylaughed,'Letthejuryconsidertheirverdict,'theKingsaid,foraboutthe

twentiethtimethatday.

'No,no!'saidtheQueen.'Sentencefirst--verdictafterwards.'

'Stuffandnonsense!'saidAliceloudly.'Theideaofhavingthesentencefirst!'

'Holdyourtongue!'saidtheQueen,turningpurple.

'Iwon't!'saidAlice.

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'Offwithherhead!'theQueenshoutedatthetopofhervoice.Nobodymoved.

'Whocaresforyou?'saidAlice,(shehadgrowntoherfullsizebythistime.)'You'renothingbutapackofcards!'

Atthisthewholepackroseupintotheair,andcameflyingdownuponher:shegavealittlescream,halfoffrightandhalfofanger,andtriedtobeatthemoff,andfoundherselflyingonthebank,withherheadinthelapofhersister,whowasgentlybrushingawaysomedeadleavesthathadfluttereddownfromthetreesuponherface.

'Wakeup,Alicedear!'saidhersister;'Why,whatalongsleepyou'vehad!'

'Oh,I'vehadsuchacuriousdream!'saidAlice,andshetoldhersister,aswellasshecouldrememberthem,allthesestrangeAdventuresofhersthatyouhavejustbeenreadingabout;andwhenshehadfinished,hersisterkissedher,andsaid,'ItWASacuriousdream,dear,certainly:butnowrunintoyourtea;it'sgettinglate.'SoAlicegotupandranoff,thinkingwhilesheran,aswellshemight,whatawonderfuldreamithadbeen.

Buthersistersatstilljustasshelefther,leaningherheadonherhand,watchingthesettingsun,andthinkingoflittleAliceandallherwonderfulAdventures,tillshetoobegandreamingafterafashion,andthiswasherdream:--

First,shedreamedoflittleAliceherself,andonceagainthetinyhandswereclaspeduponherknee,andthebrighteagereyeswerelookingupintohers--shecouldheartheverytonesofhervoice,andseethatqueerlittletossofherheadtokeepbackthewanderinghairthatWOULDalwaysgetintohereyes--andstillasshelistened,orseemedtolisten,thewholeplacearoundherbecamealivethestrangecreaturesofherlittlesister'sdream.

ThelonggrassrustledatherfeetastheWhiteRabbithurriedby--thefrightenedMousesplashedhiswaythroughtheneighbouringpool--shecouldheartherattleoftheteacupsastheMarchHareandhisfriendssharedtheirnever-endingmeal,andtheshrillvoiceoftheQueenorderingoffherunfortunategueststoexecution--oncemorethepig-babywassneezingontheDuchess'sknee,whileplatesanddishescrashedaroundit--oncemoretheshriekoftheGryphon,thesqueakingoftheLizard'sslate-pencil,andthechokingofthesuppressedguinea-pigs,filledtheair,mixedupwiththedistantsobsofthemiserableMockTurtle.

Soshesaton,withclosedeyes,andhalfbelievedherselfinWonderland,thoughsheknewshehadbuttoopenthemagain,andall

wouldchangetodullreality--thegrasswouldbeonlyrustlinginthewind,andthepoolripplingtothewavingofthereeds--therattlingteacupswouldchangetotinklingsheep-bells,andtheQueen'sshrillcriestothevoiceoftheshepherdboy--andthesneezeofthebaby,theshriekoftheGryphon,andalltheotherqueernoises,wouldchange(sheknew)totheconfusedclamourofthebusyfarm-yard--whilethelowingofthecattleinthedistancewouldtaketheplaceoftheMockTurtle'sheavysobs.

Lastly,shepicturedtoherselfhowthissamelittlesisterofhers

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would,intheafter-time,beherselfagrownwoman;andhowshewouldkeep,throughallherriperyears,thesimpleandlovingheartofherchildhood:andhowshewouldgatheraboutherotherlittlechildren,andmakeTHEIReyesbrightandeagerwithmanyastrangetale,perhapsevenwiththedreamofWonderlandoflongago:andhowshewouldfeelwithalltheirsimplesorrows,andfindapleasureinalltheirsimplejoys,rememberingherownchild-life,andthehappysummerdays.

THEEND

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