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7/30/2019 Unfinished 55 - A Publication of the Mission Society
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A publication o The Mission Society Spring 2013 | 55
Caring or the missionarys soulFresh ways to think about participating in Gods mission
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UNFINISHEDSpring 2013, Issue 55
Publisher/CEO
Dick McClain
EditorRuth A. Burgner
Associate EditorReed Haigler Hoppe
DesignLaura Means
Prooreaders
Theresa Gardner
Beverly Mancuso
Ari Morsella
Founding President/President EmeritusH.T. Maclin
Unnishedis a publication o The Mission Society.
Subscriptions are ree upon request.
Send subscription requests, change o
addresses, and all correspondence to P.O.Box 922637, Norcross, Georgia 30010 or
call 800.478.8963 (FAX 770.446.3044). The
Mission Society is unded entirely by gits
rom individuals and local congregations.
All gits are tax-exempt and are grateully
acknowledged. Unnishedis a member-
publication o the Evangelical Press
Association. Please visit The Mission Society
online at: themissionsociety.org.
The Mission Society sta: Ed and Linda
Baker, Ron Beatty, Debra Bembenek, Ron
Braund, Dennis Brown, Ruth Burgner, Tracy
Byrd, Richard Coleman, Doug Cozart, Frank
Decker, Vicki Decker, Theresa Gardner, Jo Ann
Helveston, Lauren Helveston, Kate Hilder-
brandt, Reed Hoppe, Sylvia Hyles, Brenda Lee,Beverly Mancuso, Dick McClain, Lauren Mead,
Laura Means, Ari Morsella, Leslie OConnor,
Lori Potts, Ivar Quindsland, Jim Ramsay,
Shawn Ramsay, Andrew Randall, Stan Sel,
Becky Stephen, Lewis von Herrmann, Darrell
Whiteman, Allison Wiggins, Steve Wilson,
Roger Wright
The Mission Society board o directors:
Robert Aboagye-Mensah, Accra, Ghana;
Jorge Acevedo, Cape Coral, FL; Paul Baddour,
Heathrow, FL; Ed Bell, Georgetown, SC; Jim
Davis, Dalton, GA; Jan Gilbert, Aiken, SC;
William M. Johnson (board chairman), Canton,
GA; Joe Kilpatrick, Tucker, GA; Joo Carlos
Lopes, Curitiba, Brazil; H.T. Maclin, Decatur,
GA; Dick McClain, Stone Mountain, GA;DonMcGehee, Ruston, LA; Neal Reynolds, Atlanta,
GA; David Roller, Baltimore, MD; Nicole Sims,
Hamburg, Germany; Helen Rhea Stumbo,
Fort Valley, GA; Richard Weber, Sandy Springs,
GA; Max Wilkins,
Gainesville, FL
Cover photo:
Ayli and Soraya
McEuen serve in
ministry with their
parents, Ash and
Audra, and two other
siblings, Kia and Todd,
in Peru. To learn about
lie as a missionary kid, see page 26.
Join us in The Mission
When you partner with The Mission Society, not only do you join us in The
Mission to oer Christ to the world, but you join us in embracing our core values.
Our visionThe kingdom o God advancing among all peoples bringing about redemption and
reconciliation through Jesus Christ
Our missionThe Mission Society exists to mobilize and deploy the body o Christ globally to join
Jesus in His mission, especially among the least reached peoples.
Our core values
INCARNATION
The Mission Society seeks to minister to others by ollowing the example o Jesus,
who ully entered the human experience. In our cross-cultural ministry, we are
committed to learning the local language, living among the people, ministering inculturally appropriate ways, demonstrating love or God and neighbor, and
disciple-making among the nations.
INTEGRITY
The Mission Society desires to reect the holiness o God in all we do. Personally
and corporately we endeavor to make the character o Christ maniest in our lives
and our ministry.
PASSION
We are not complacent about the One who matters supremely or the work God has
given us to do; nor is our ministry prompted simply by duty, or even obedience.
Our lie together and our ministry are marked and motivated by passion or Godand Gods mission. We are passionate about Jesus, our mission, and all those
involved in the journey with us.
PEOPLE
The Mission Society believes that people are o primary value. Because people
matter to God, people matter to us. Our cross-cultural workers, sta, donors,
volunteers, prayer partners, and those we seek to reach are o greatest worth to us.
Because relationships and not ormulas are our method, The Mission Society
exudes an entrepreneurial culture where every member is encouraged to discern
and pursue Gods unique direction or his or her ministry.
PARTNERSHIPSince it is the kingdom o God that we are called to express and extend throughout
the world, our ministry is about more than ourselves and our organization. We
believe that working together enhances our witness and strengthens our ability to
make disciples o all nations. The Mission Society thereore pursues partnership in
ministry endeavors with churches, nationals, Christian organizations, and
individuals.
PRAYER
It is only through the power and presence o the Spirit o Christ that we can live up
to the high and holy intentions embodied in these values. We acknowledge our
absolute dependence on God and seek both His guidance and His strength each
day. Thereore, The Mission Society is a praying community.
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World 32Facebook and missions What kind o r iend are you?
Church Ministry 34
10 ways or a local church to care or a home-grown missionaryA message or every congregation
Calling 36Ready, set, go explore A potentially lie-changing message or you
and the young people in your lie
Follow us:
@tms_world
acebook.com/themissionsociety
Read our blog at themissionsocietyblog.com
Special thanks to Ayli McEuen,
missionary kid in Huancayo, Peru,
or the use o her photos
in the eatures o this issue.
Table o Contents
Perspective 2What missionaries don't tell you Assume everything is not as
idyllic as it sometimes seems.
How can we fnd our way? 10What happens to missionaries when disillusionment becomestheir constant companion?
Trapped in China 12One missionary couple describes their impossible situation.
Lost in India 14Disoriented and discouraged, missionaries question their sense
o direction.
Top 10 ways to care or your missionary 16We surveyed our missionaries. Heres what they told us.
Top 10 items to include in a care package 19
Here's a handy list or your next parcel.When hope begins to stir 20Missionary care can happen through listening.
The joy o true communion 23Home teams are a new concept to most. Heres an inside look .
News 30
New manager o member care named 30
Missionary presents paper at international missions gathering 30
The Mission Society celebrates 25 years o ministry in Paraguay 30
Investing in eternity 31
By this everyone will know that you are my disciples,
i you have love or one another.
John 13:35, NRSV
A dierent world 26Third culture kids speak about a lie only a select population
can relate to.
Awake, my soul 4Larry Crabb introduces a way o talking to one another
that can stir our appetite or God.
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Perspective By Dick McClain
2 Spring 2013 themissionsociety.org
What missionaries dont tell you
Doubts, struggles, and tales o the worst days dont usually make it into the newsletters.Even so, assume everything is not as idyllic as it sometimes seems. Ministers need ministering, too.
One missionary in 20 is being lost
rom missionary service each year,
and lack o home support tops the
list o reasons why missionaries leave,
according to researcher W.D. Taylor
in Too Valuable to Lose. The more
missionaries are cared or, the more
likely they will continue in the ministry
to which they have been called. This
issue is about how you can help
minister to missionaries.
It was the spring o 1972. Pam and I had
moved to the Panama Canal Zone the
previous summer aer my rst year o
seminary in order or me to become the
youth pastor at the Curundu Protes-
tant Church, that ministered primar-
ily to American military and Panama
Canal Company amilies. Working in
an American church with American
students, we werent exactly missionar-
ies. But we lived in Panama, we were
ar rom both o our homes, and lots
o missionaries who served in Panamawere associated with our church. So we
elt like missionaries.
Very soon aer arriving in Panama,
we had decided to try to start our am-
ily. Eight months later, Pam was seven
months pregnant.
All went well until Pam began bleed-
ing a month into her third trimester.
Tat put her at on her back in Gorgas
Hospital. She was on complete bed
rest and we hoped and prayed that she
would be able to carry our baby to term.
Her days in Gorgas soon became a week
and then two weeks and then three. At
one point, her doctor told me privately
that we had about a 50/50 chance o
the baby being born prematurely. So
I prayed and prayed. I cried a lot too,
although usually not when I was with
Pam. My positivity trait remained in
ull swing when we were together. But I
remember that in the evenings, when Iwould leave the hospital and drive home
to our little trailer, I elt very alone. And
araid. And conused. So I prayed. And
I cried. And I loved on Pam and tried
to be encouraging, and I prayed some
more.
Te good news is that aer three
weeks the bleeding stopped. Pam came
home, and she carried the baby to term.
On May 9, 1972, our son Josh was born.
How God showed up
Te other good news is that during
that season that was so dicult or us
as a young couple living overseas, we
learned a lot about caring or others.
Several precious people reached out to
us and, in very tangible and loving ways
cared or us. Tere was Marie. She had
become sort o a surrogate mom to Pam
while we were in Panama. And Vicki,
who helped Pam (and me) prepareor a natural delivery. (Incidentally,
American military hospitals in 1972
werent very big on husband coached
childbirth.) And then there were Claude
and Gordon, both single men who
were members o our church. (Both o
them ended up marrying missionary
women.) Tey showed up at our trailer
one evening and handed us an envelope
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3themissionsociety.org Spring 2013
Tey said they wanted to help with the
hospital bills. We needed the help, so
they were like messengers sent rom
heaven. But they didnt just give us anenvelope; they gave us their hearts, love,
support, and prayers.
By Gods grace and with the help o
people who cared or us, we made it
through an incredibly dicult period.
oday, as I look back on those weeks,
I can recall how hard they were, and
how araid and alone I elt at times. But
mostly I remember how God showed
up through Marie, Vicki, Claude, and
Gordon to love on us and to walk with
us through those days. We made it, and
they are a big part o the reason why.
I we were to write the story o our
two years in Panama, it would tell o
a glorious time when we saw Jesus do
amazing things in the lives o scores o
students. But what God did through
us isnt the only story o those days.
Equally important was what God did
in us, what God taught us as He carried
us through whatat the timewas the
hardest season o our lives, and how He
called His people to care or us in our
time o need.
Te pages oUnnishedtypically
tell the stories o what God is doing
through our missionaries. Tis issue,
however, is more about what God is do-
ing in them, particularly during those
dicult seasons that arent typically
chronicled in their newsletters or blogs.Its about how missionaries themselves
need to be cared or and ministered to.
Where we come in
Missionaries get tired. At times they
grow discouraged or eel deeated. Im
convinced the enemy works overtime
against them, with the result that they
are sometimes wounded.
God never intended missionaries
to be super heroes who somehow just
manage to pull themselves up by their
bootstraps. Can you imagine Jesusturning his back on someone when they
were discouraged, deeated, or when
they had allen? Never!
Missionariespeople whose voca-
tion is all about ministering to others
also need to be ministered to. Tats
where you and I come in. We need to
have skin in this game also, and one
important way in which we can express
that is through caring or the missionar-
ies who we send.
One o Te Mission Societys core
values reads, in part, Te Mission So-
ciety believes that people are o primary
value. Because people matter to God,
people matter to us. Because thats true,
how is it expressed? What does really
valuing people look like when it comesto caring or our missionaries?
In the pages that ollow, youll hear
rom missionaries who experienced
healing and restoration because people
stood with them and cared or them,
especially during the hard times. And
youll get to meet some o the people
on our team whose calling and passion
is to minister to missionariespeople
who have opened their homes and their
hearts to missionaries in ways that
brought help and healing.
Our debt o gratitude
Its dangerous to single particular people
out or recognition when so many (and
not just those whose job is member
care) play a part day in and day out in
caring or our missionaries. Neverthe-
less, two people within our community
deserve special recognition or the
remarkable way in which they have
poured their lives out in care and coun-
sel and compassion or our missionary
community. Im speaking o Lauren and
Jo Ann Helveston.
I rst met the Helvestons when I
stayed in their home in Kumasi, Ghana,
in 1987. Years later Lauren joined our
staf as director o mobilization. In 2006
he became our pastor to missionaries,
assisted by Jo Ann. In the years since
then, the Helvestons have become the
heart and hands o Jesus to countless
missionaries, some o whose stories
youll read in the pages that ollow.
Te Mission Society owes an ex-
traordinary debt o gratitude to Lauren
and Jo Ann, and on behal o our entire
community, I applaud and thank them.
Now that their role is changing, I am
grateul that they have elected to inch
their way toward retirement rather than
jumping in head rst. So while Lauren
has stepped down rom his position asdirector o pastoral care, he and Jo Ann
will continue to debrie our missionar-
ies and work with missionaries home
teams. I youre wondering why that is
such a big deal, read on. U
The Rev. Dick McClain is president and
CEO o The Mission Society.
The pages oUnfnished typically
tell the stories o what God is doing
through our missionaries. This issue,
however, is more about what God
is doing in them, particularly during
dicult seasons. Its about how
missionaries themselves need to be
cared or.
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Introducing a way o speaking lieinto each other, one conversation at a time
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An excerpt rom Soulalk, by Larry Crabb
Lie is all about knowing God, writes Larry Crabb. Everyhard thing we endure can put us in touch with our desireor God, and every trial can strengthen that desire until itbecomes the consuming passion o our lie.Te greatest commitment I can make in my lie, continues
Crabb, is to discover my desire or God and indulge thatpassion with all my soul. And the greatest miracle that can
happen is to have my passion stirred, ignited, and releaseduntil I actually eed on God.You can do that or me. And I can do it or you. We can
learn to talk with each other in ways that arouse our passionor God until it becomes the most powerul desire in oursoul.
Crabb calls this way o talking to each other Soulalk,which, he says, is the only really honest language. He
describes the components o Soulalk in his book by thesame name.
Several years ago, Soulalk was part o the Christmasgi sent to our worldwide amily o missionaries rom TeMission Society headquarters. We bring you this shortcompilation to ofer a glimpse o how all o us, througheveryday conversations, can disciple one another.
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6 Spring 2013 themissionsociety.org
Its time or a revolution in relationships, or Christians across
the world to release their passion or God and to ignite the
passion in others, to speak with power into each others lives.
But it will take some honest soul-searching. oo many o
us think were doing ne in our conversations when all were
speaking is Selalk.
Meister Eckhart, a wise medieval spiritual director, once
said, God is at home; it is we who have gone out or a walk.
Weve all le home. Were not even looking or the ace o God.
Second things have become rst in our afections! Selalk
is the language we speak when we dont realize that what we
really want is God. We speak it more uently, more religiously,
when we think we want God but in act want to use him to
grant our wish list. Selalk, religious or secular, is the lan-
guage o people who have le home and are trying to make a
rented apartment eel like home.
Its time to return, to come home to
our own soul, where God has chosen to
live, and to speak rom our soul to the
souls o others. I we do, we will ignite a
revolution.
One mans struggle
im Burke is a riend o mine. Aer pitching in major league
baseball with the New York Mets and the Minnesota wins,
he nished his all-star career with the New York Yankees. Heretired early to spend more time with the ve children he and
Christine had adopted.ajor League Dad, a book published
by Focus on the Family, tells his remarkable story o love and
sacrice.
Te rest o the story, however, is not widely known. Te
our older children were diagnosed with Reactive Attachment
Disorder, a condition that, in their childrens case, was severe
enough to require long-term institutional care. im and
Christina were devastated. Ten the youngest, a sweet little
girl born with hal a le arm, sufered permanent brain dam-
age during surgery when she was 10 months old.
im reeled under the pressure. His aith took a beating, his
marriage entered a dark tunnel, his nancial resources were
nearly exhausted, and or a long time im woke up every
morning wishing he were dead. During his separation rom
his wie, Christine, he was pulled over while driving intoxi-
cated.
What battle was going on in ims soul? Tat question
became personally important to me when God gave me the
opportunity to meet with im or cofee-shop Soulalk or
two years.
How to respond?
Imagine that youre sitting down with im. Your heart goes
out to him as he tells his story and shares his pain and ailure.
Youre not sure what to say. Everything
you think to say sounds simplistic,
powerless, and clich. You eel inad-
equate. You want to say something that
will make a diference. You wish he were talking to Solomon.
What do you do?
Resist the urge to run!
Resist the urge to help!
Resist the urge to reer [or counseling]!
Tink beneath. Te lie o God is in you. You long to speakthat lie into ims soul with power. But you have no idea what
that means. You dont know what to say. Your natural tenden-
cy is to gure it out, to come up with the right words. Dont
give in to that pressure. Direct your mind toward something
else.
Tink beneath more. You believe the lie o the Spirit is
within you; you believe he is moving. But where? Into what?
What battle is going on in ims soul? Tat's the thing to think
about and to explore with im.
Every conversation either stimulates or
dampens our desire or God.
SelTalkis the language we speak
when we dont realize that
what we really want is God
SoulTalkis the language we speak
when our words are ormed by a passion
to see another want God more than anything
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Soulalk waits. It is patient. We dont set the timetable or
change. Tats the Spirits work. Te pressures of. We can
relax.
Move right to the center o the battle. Ask yoursel the key
question: What does im want most? o be closer to God and
more like his Son? Or something else?
Ask the same question diferently, again to yoursel, not out
loud. Is the person youre speaking with more interested in
communion with God that will satisy his soul or in coopera-
tion rom God that will improve his lie and a convenient plan
he can ollow that will bring it about?
Natural vs. supernatural thinking
When lie is hard, the most natural thing in the world is to
want relie, to want the diculties to ease up and a ew things
to go our way. When lie is going well, the most natural thing
in the world is to want whatevers going
well to continue going well. And in both
cases, wed preer to be aware o some-
thing we can do that would increase
the odds o gaining relie or keeping
blessings. Dependence on another has never proved reliable.
Independence, sel-suciency, is a much better plan. Tats
the natural way to think.
Whether lie is bumpy or smooth, the most supernatural
thing we can do is to want to know God better, to value hispleasure and his purposes above everything else, and to want
directions or the journey into His presence more than a
plan or making lie work. O course im wanted his lie to
improve. Tats not sinul or wrong. Its normal. Te question
is, did he want God more?
Abraham wanted his son to live, but he wanted to know
God more. Mary wanted to avoid the humiliation o a preg-
nancy beore marriage, but she wanted to surrender to God
more. Jesus wanted to avoid the experience o being treated
like a sinner by his Father, but He wanted to please Him more
Adam wanted to stay in communion with God. But he
wanted what he perceived to be the advantages o control
more. And with that choice, Adam brought the ercest battle
being raged, between Satan and God, into human existence.
And thats the battle, the battle o competing desires.
The battle o competing desires
Every ollower o Jesus has two sets o desires: the desire to
know God and to experience intimate communion with the
rinity, and the desire to hear the specic calling o the Spirit
in our lie, to be so anchored in the hope o eternal joy and to
be so in love with Jesus now that we endure every hardship as
a privilege and as an opportunity to become more like Christ.
Tats in us. Its in me. Its in you. But theres something
else. We want this lie to go well. We long to eel a certain way
to handle tough situations in com-
mendable ashion; to become a riendly,
good, uncomplaining person; to enjoy
at least a measure o success in whatever
matters to us; to be noticed and wanted;
to eel personal value and worth; to experience the pleasure
o good amily, good riendships, good health, good income,
and good ministry; to eel less stress and more peace, less
emptiness and more joy.
Both sets o desires are legitimate. We must understandthat. Never think o yoursel as unspiritual because you hurt
over lost blessings and pray ervently or restored blessings.
O course you want to eel good. Tats how you were de-
signed by God.
Te battle begins when the desire or blessings in lie be-
come the ruling passion o our heart. Its happened in all o us
beginning at birth. You want that? Good! Heres how to get
it. And when you get it, youll experience lie.
Jesus taught that the core longing o our soul is the desire
The battle begins when the desire or
blessings in lie become the ruling
passion o our heart.
It would seem that our Lord nds our desires not too strong,
but too weak. We are hal-hearted creatures, ooling about
with drink and sex and ambition when innite joy is ofered us,
like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies
in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the
ofer o a holiday at the sea. We are ar too easily pleased.
C.S. Lewis, The Weight o Glory, and Other Addresses
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to know God, not the desire to eel loved, not the desire to
experience meaning, not the desire or the pleasures o amily,
riends, or success, but the passion to know God as high and
lied up and to place ourselves beneath him, resting in his
goodness and available or his purposes.
Call that rst-thing desire. Call every other longing o
the heart second-thing desires. When each desire is in place,
we are spiritual people, not religious.
But that never happens, not ully, until heaven. Its always
a struggle to honor our desire or knowing God as abso-
lutely primary and to genuinely regard every other desire as
secondary. Te central battle in the souls o Jesus ollowers is
the battle to keep the rst-thing desire in rst place and the
second-thing desires in second place.
Te central evil in the human soul is the natural tendency
to elevate second-thing desires to rst place and to pursue
their satisaction as i the well-being o our soul depended on
it.
Te central deception in every soul is to believe that
second-thing desires belong in the rst place, to be deeply
convinced that the core well-being o our soul does in act
depend on their satisaction.
And the central point o Soulalk is to awaken and nour-
ish the rst-thing desire until the passion or God becomesconsuming, the ruling passion o the soul, stronger than every
other desire.
Religious vs. spiritual impulses
As I look over the Western church, and as I look at my own
heart, I hear the message o religion: Get it reasonably right,
and lie will go reasonably well. When I ollow my religious
(verses spiritual) impulses, I either eel smugly condent or
angrily deeated. Either my lie is ull o wonderul bless-
ings and I believe I have the inside track on Gods avor be-
cause Im living acceptably, or things are tough and Im mad
at God because I thought I was doing pretty well and mad at
mysel or missing the mark.
I that kind o thinking is going on in ims soul, it needs to
be deeated and replaced with a very diferent understanding
o lie.
Notice rst that the incentive driving religion is not com-
munion with God; it is the blessings o lie. We believe Satans
lie that there really is something to be treasured above know-
ing God, becoming like Jesus, and abandoning ourselves to
the Spirit. Enjoy whatever your experience tells you will bring
the richest pleasure to your soul. Tats how religion denes
lie.
For im, at one time that meant sacricing ame and or-
tune to adopt ve kids with dreams o celebrating happy am-
ily times around the Christmas tree and watching God restore
the lives o troubled children. Had his dreams come true, im
might be a contented religious man.
When things ell apart, he became a deeated religious man
still believing something should work to bring him lie but
now convinced it would never happen.
im is now an imperect but growing spiritual man, or
one big reason: He has rejected the devils lie that lie consistso making things work and now believes that lie is all about
knowing God better, no matter the cost, and moving in the
challenges o lie to urther Gods purposes, not his. U
Dr. Larry Crabb is a well-known psychologist, author, Bible
teacher, seminar speaker, and is the ounder/director o New Way
Ministries. The preceding was a compilation o excerpts rom
SoulTalk: The language God longs or us to speak, published by
Thomas Nelson, 2003. Used by permission.
SoulTalkopens up a new dimension o communicating with others in discussing lie
issues. It shows how to hear, really hear, what is being elt by another person. The
contrast between SoulTalk and SelTalk is potentmaking me realize how easily I
serve mysel, even in ministry, rather than ocusing on what God wants and how I can
truly bring glory to Him. This is a must read or any Christian desiring to walk with God!
online reviewer
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When we rst arrived on the eld,
the title missionary seemed to
translate to the local people as pastor/
counselor/psychologist. We had a lineo people at our door who wanted
and needed a listening ear, advice,
and counseling on the deep issues
that aected their lives, says Mission
Society missionary Laurie Drum.
It didnt take long or me to
succumb to compassion atigue. I
just couldnt live with the weight o
not knowing what to say and how to
help, yet people continued to come
to the door and share their problems
and tears with me. Eventually, I closed
mysel in and shut everyone else out
in an eort to sel-protect. Not a good
place to be as a missionary!
When The Mission Society oered
coaching training in 2011, Billy and I
attended. This was the training that
we needed! We now had the tools and
skills to help others and ree ourselvesrom the incredible burden o having
all o the answers.
We each immediately began
coaching people in places all around
the globe via Skype and telephone.
We also had coaches or ourselves, so
that we could be coached and tend to
our own issues and personal growth.
Not only was coaching working in
one-on-one situations, but it was
empowering teams that we worked
with to grow and move orward in
positive ways.
Coaching has become a natural
part o our lives now. It is so honoring
and validating o the other person
because o the huge ocus on listening
and empowering. It has changed
relationships around us and helped
others to grow and become more owhat God wants or them.
The Mission Society rst began
a coaching program with the help
o Creative Results Management in
2010. Since that time, The Mission
Society has trained all o our regional
leadership teams, some sta, and
additional missionaries around the
world.
I you are interested in being
trained as a certied coach or taking
coaching classes, we recommend
Creative Results Management
(creativeresultsmanagement.com),
or Coaching Mission International
(coachingmission.com). U
Speaking lie
How coaching is helping missionaries care or themselves and others
Billy & Laurie Drum
Billy and Laurie Drum served a ve-
year term in Peru and are transitioning
to Spain to serve immigrant and
reugee people groups rom northernArica. The Drums also serve their
missionary colleagues in a member-
care and leadership development
capacity. Billy and Laurie are both
certied teachers, trainers, Christian
lie and leadership coaches, and
Christian counselors. They use their
experience, skills, and passion or
people to share the love o Christ.
Ravi & Mercy David
Ravi and Mercys ocus is to equip and
encourage people serving in various
ministries, especially leaders and their
amilies in the Asia Pacic Region.This is done through ormal seminary
teaching, consultancy, mentoring,
counseling, intercession, and pastoral
care.
Denny & Cindy Heiberg
Denny and Cindy have been serving
in pastoral ministry or the past 22
years within the United Methodist
Church in Kentucky and Florida. Theirmission is to equip and mobilize an
intentional movement o disciple-
making ollowers o Jesus throughout
the global church. The Heibergs use
their training in coaching as member-
care consultants with The Mission
Society and as they disciple Christians
around the world.
Mission Society missionaries serving through coaching:
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What happens to missionaries whendisillusionment becomes their constant companion?
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11
Ministry is hard. Add in: oreignlocation, oreign language,culture shock, homesickness, unamiliareverything. Maybe slowly at rst, thenmore and more, ear can come, big andsufocating. Next, without warning, waves
o discouragement can crash in, ollowedby waves o guilt. Missionaries can beginto think: Tere is no way through this. Wecannot go orward, and we cannot go backto the United States. Everyone is expectinggreat things.
In 2006, Lauren Helveston, veteranpastor and missionary and then-director o mission mobilization or Te
Mission Society, proposed a pastoralcare initiative which would add to the
care being ofered to Mission Societymissionaries. Ten in 2007, an entiremember care and development divisionwas launched, which today is stafedby six ormer missionaries and severaloutside consultants. Te hope o the
team members is to help the souls o themissionaries thrive. We seek to nurtureand develop our members in spiritual,physical, emotional, and relational health,enabling ruitul ministry to ow romtheir lives, says the Rev. Frank Decker,who heads the division.
We asked two o our missionarycouples to tell o their journeys through
a wilderness o discouragement. Here aretheir stories.
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In 2004 my wie and I were burnt out, discouraged, and eel-
ing rather hopeless about our ministry in China. We had lived
there or about two-and-a-hal years and were eeling over-
whelmed by everything going on around us. We had so much
stress in our lives rom living in a oreign
culture with two little children, dealing
with being away rom amily and riends,
and trying to handle conict among the
oreign mission population in our small,rural town. We were lonely, depressed,
and anxiety ridden. We didnt know what
to do, but we were sure we couldnt stay
in our current situation.
We elt like ailureslike we had ailed the Lord and ailed
Te Mission Society. We knew that we needed to leave the
eld and that we needed emotional help. We put of making
the call to the home oce, because we were so disappointed
in ourselves and worried about the response we would get on
the other end o the line when conveyed that we planned to
return to the States. By not reaching out or help sooner, we
only made matters worse.
We nally called and talked to a membercare staf member,
and his gentle response in the midst o
our chaotic time was lie-giving and the
rereshing cup o cold water that we need-
ed. We elt so much love and knew that
we were important to Te Mission Societyas peoplenot just as workers with a task
to accomplish. We were genuinely cared
or. Tat love and care helped us to make
healthy decisions or our amily or the
rst time in a long while.
We came back to the States and went to a debrieng and
renewal time with Mission raining International (MI) in
Colorado. While we were there, we saw so many missionaries
rom other ministries who had really struggled and ought
We learned so much rom this
experience. We saw how much pain
and hurt people carry around with
them. Being on the mission eld only
magnies these pains inside o us.
TrappedinChinaFor missionaries toChina David and Renee,*theirs was an impossiblesituation. Tey couldthink o only one last-ditch efort. As it turnedout, that would change
everything.
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with their own organizations when they wanted to return to
the States. Tese missionaries had been beaten up by the very
people rom whom they needed the most love. We realized
that i we had experienced that heartache in addition to the
struggles we were already going through, it would have been
devastating to us.
During our time back in the States, we continued to strug-
gle as we re-entered American culture. Te Mission Society
never stopped encouraging us and helping us, even though
we were no longer on the eld. Tey stood with us all the way
to nding the healing we needed.
We are so thankul or Te Mission Society and the olks
in member care who speak peace instead o devastation, who
ofer hope instead o condemnation, and who bring love
instead o ear. We know that i it had not been or the care we
received rom Te Mission Society, we would not be back in
China now, and I doubt we would have ever returned to the
eld.
We learned so much rom this experience. We saw how
much pain and hurt people carry around with them. Being
on the mission eld only magnies these pains inside o us.
Tere are a lot o missionaries out in the world struggling to
keep their heads above water. Tere is a need or care. Te
member care department at Te Mission Society understands
this and reaches out to meet the emotional needs o the mis-
sionaries in the eld. We know rsthand that the love and
support shown by those in member care is vital to being ableto minister efectively.
We are excited to say that we have returned to China and
are now entering our eighth year here. We are not just trying
to survive anymore, but we are thriving! In our minds, one o
the real strengths o Te Mission Society is its commitment to
the care, healing, and growth o the people Te Mission Soci-
ety sends to the eld. We are so appreciative o this value, and
we are living examples o the importance o their work. U
*Pseudonyms used or security purposes
13themissionsociety.org Spring 2013
Ministering to the ministers
All o the team members o The Mission Societysmember care and development departmenthave experienced rsthand the challenges and
joys o cross-cultural ministry, because all o them
are ormer missionaries. Their workto ministeramong the more than 200 missionaries on vediferent continentscan seem overwhelming.Consider how the Lord may be calling you to helpminister to the missionaries you know.
Frank Decker serves as The Mission Societys vice
president or member care and development, and Vicki
Decker serves as missionary kids coordinator. The Deckers
served previously in Ghana, West Arica.
Ari Morsella, ormer missionary to the Russian Far East, is
The Mission Societys manager o member care.
Lauren and Jo Ann Helveston have served 15 years
on The Mission Society staf, rst directing the missionmobilization department and, since 2006, directing The
Mission Societys pastoral care department, which they
established. In March, they began work as consultants
with The Mission Society. The Helvestons are ormer
missionaries to Ghana, West Arica.
Shawn Ramsay, ormer missionary to Kazakhstan, is
assistant coordinator or missionary kids.
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In 2010, Douglas was asked to attend a conerence in Hong
Kong, in which attendees rom around the world were chal-
lenged to complete the Great Commission in their lietimes.
Te ocus was particularly on least reached and unreached
people groups. Douglas caught the ever.
Tis led to our relocation rom Russia to India. We planned
to partner with a ministry there dedicated to translating the
Bible in audio ormat or people groups who had no Bible,
and in many cases, had never heard the name o Jesus. In
partnership with two large, well-known ministries, this minis-
try was doing new and unique work. Te translation method
used took only two years to produce the New estament.
Douglas and I were very excited about the possibilities withinthis ministry.
We lived in an apartment in the same building as the
ministry. In act, all o the residents served with the ministry.
I ell in love with the local women, who immediately started
teaching me about Indian culture. Tey also helped me buy
material and nd someone to make me locally appropriate
clothing. Te relationships were warm and loving. Tese
women wanted to learn everything they could about the
Christian lie. I met with them daily, and Douglas and I began
attending church with them at a little local congregation
across the street.
In the meantime, Douglas was learning that the ministry
was not what we had been told. Aer weeks o conusion and
broken promises, the director acknowledged problems in the
organization. He agreed to use Douglas previous extensive
human resources experience and asked him to look at how to
better structure the organization. Tis was something that got
Douglas excited about the ministry again.
Aer a very dicult six months, we discovered that the
ministry was apparently not ollowing ethical practices in
many and important areas o its unctioning. Douglas and I
prayed, talked to each other, and to senior staf in the min-istry who armed it would likely not change. With heavy
hearts, we made the dicult decision to return to the States. I
cried over the women I now loved and had to leave.
In the crowded car on the way to the airport, a pastor with
a rst-year marriage told us, I know you may be disappoint-
ed that things did not work out here or you, but you need to
know that or the past six months, you have both modeled to
us what a real Christian marriage looks like. Everyone talks
about it. My wie and I thank you. We were not total ailures!
Lost inIndiaVeteran missionaries Douglas and Kristy* had lots oexperience in ministry. When they realized that they
had misjudged the work they had joined in India, theyquestioned their own ability to discern and wondered
i this would be the end o their missionary road.
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But we were depressed. How had we so badly misjudged
the ministry beore we came? Had we not listened correctly
to Godor at all? We lost total condence in our abilities to
wisely discern Gods will.
Once back in the States, we decided to take a deep breath
and spend time with our children and grandchildren or a
couple o months. We scheduled ourselves a debrie and
renewal session at Mission raining
International (MI) and also sought
counsel rom our Mission Society
member care team.
We had no idea what to think or
plan or the uture. We had been asked,while we were still in India, to join an-
other ministry there with people we already knew and trusted.
But was that right? We were old enough to retire. Should we
consider this option?
We relaxed, enjoyed our amily, and prayed. Ten we went
to Te Mission Society and spent amazing, precious time with
Lauren and Jo Ann Helveston. We were prayed over, loved,
listened to, encouraged and amazingly blessed! Within two
days o their care, we had not only heard God, but elt Him.
We, who had been broken into pieces, had been put in a co-
coon and released back into the world all in one piece.
We both elt that we knew what God would have us do, but
we also knew we needed more prayer and a nal conrmation
We went to the program at MI and ound it. We accepted
the option to return to another area in India and work with a
small American-led (but mostly national) team.
We returned to India six months
aer having le. We are renewed and
doing exciting ministry. God is us-
ing us as He never has beore! We are
both ullled, learning, sharing, giving,
and responding daily to Gods call andHis nudges. He is blessing the work in
amazing ways, and we sing His praises!
Member care team members can make or break workers
God calls to the eld. It is an essential part o any organiza-
tion, and we have most sincerely beneted rom ours. We pray
daily that God is blessed by it as a result.U
*Pseudonyms used or security purposes
15themissionsociety.org Spring 2013
We returned to India six months ater
having let. We are renewed and doing
exciting ministry. God is using us as he
never has beore!
Datwylers EcuadorWhen I was pastoring an indigenous church, it was dicult to obtain any counsel. Through member care, we were blessed with
people who had listening ears, prayerul hearts, insightul counsel, and godly wisdom. In many ways, it was because o the care
we received rom them that we made it through those two years.
Howells FranceWe have experienced member care in several ways over the years. For example, when going through some dicult times with
our children on the eld, making a call to the Helvestons (pastoral care) was one o the rst things we did. I remember well someo those phone conversations and times o prayer together, which helped us through a tough time.
Spitaleris TanzaniaWe are so thankul or member care and the advice, care, and encouragement we get. We always look orward to sharing our
hearts with the Helvestons. Their git o being able to listen is a blessing, since we trust them so much. We always know we can
call on them at any time; they go the extra mile to be available.
Grateul or member care
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Top 10 ways to careor your missionariesOne o the most requently asked questions to a missionary is: How can we help you?
We surveyed several o our missionaries and asked them or some o their avorite waysthat churches and riends have cared or them. Here is what they told us.
his isnt or everyone, but i you are able, most missionaries
would welcome a riendly ace out on the ield. A short-term
mission trip is a great way to visit and be involved in their
ministry, although not all ields are the right place or short-
term teams. I not on the ield, schedule a visit or a large
get-together when missionaries are on home leave or visiting
the States.
Forming dierent relationships is a big part o eeling
welcome and assimilating into a new culture, but it is also
appreciated when a missionary is home. Invite missionaries
out with you and your amily or an outing, or invite them
over or a home-cooked meal. I they have children, include
them in opportunities or youth groups and retreats. One
missionary wrote o riends who took them and their toddler
to Disney World ater months o support raising, It turned
out to be a much-needed time o retreat or our amily.
10Visit
9Invites and inclusion
16 Spring 2013 themissionsociety.org
you're
invited...
Tallied and written by Lauren Mead
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Culture shock can happen when moving into a new culture,
but it can also happen when coming back home ater some
time on the ield. Having something to wear back in the
States can be a luxury. We easily get out o style, one mis-
sionary commented when she wrote about how a riend rom
home oered to buy her a new outit. here is also the issue
o home goods, silverware, appliances, urniture, and general
supplies that will be needed in their new homes, whether in
the States or overseas. Donations o such items are welcome.
Help them visit home. Flights can be expensive. On occasion,
situations arise in which a missionary needs to get back to
the States quickly. It can be an emotionally taxing experi-
ence, but it can also weigh heavily on their inances. An oer
to use requent lyer miles is always appreciated. he same
can be said or that beach condo or time share you might
own that sits empty most o the year. What a great way to
recuperate!
Whether it is sharing the love o Christ, sharing their news-
letter, or adding them to a prayer list, a missionary can never
have too much support or prayer. Ask them or speciic
prayer requests that you can share with prayer groups and
show them you ollowed through. One missionary wrote that
a avorite way people cared or their amily was acknowl-
edging and showing interest in our new world and respond-
ing to newsletters with excitement in all God does or us, in
us, and through us.
Sometimes a visit home is or partnership development; but
sometimes its or vacation. Please do not assume missionar-
ies want to teach or lead a lesson. Ater months o being in a
leadership position, its oten nice to come home strictly or
vacation. While they are vacationing, they will need your
help. Support, love, and the intangibles are always needed,
but it might have been a year or more since they have seen a
dentist. Dont be araid to ask them what they need, and be
respectul i privacy and alone time are desired.
8Shop with them
7Frequent Flyer?
6Spread the word
5Respect the vacation
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4House them
3Skype
2Email
1Snail mail
Many missionaries do not have cars or housing readily avail-
able to them when they return home. Loaning out a car or
even a bedroom is a great way to show you care. I they are
returning rom the ield permanently, opening your own
home to them or a while, or helping them to ind a new
permanent residence can be a huge relie.
Welcome to missions in the 21st century! Check with the
missionary you support and see what internet connectivity
capabilities they have. Schedule to have them video chat into
your small-group prayer time or Bible studies. Ask about
their phone plans. Video chatting and Skype are great, but a
phone call may be more realistic or some.
It is the quickest and most eicient way to keep in touch. Im-
portant messages about bills, plans, amily goings-on should
be emailed. I possible, lood those inboxes with messages
o love and support. Just the smallest message to say We are
praying or you is always encouraging. Have missionaries
added to their home churchs email list. hey know they are
being cared or, and can stay up with current happenings.
Christmas, birthdays, American holidays, hinking o
You cardsall are great ways to send love to your riends.
Letters and cards were a top answer o all the missionaries
we surveyed. Perhaps the most touching missionary input
we received told o birthday cards in the mail to our oster
daughter. She was overjoyed to have 50+ cards rom people
shed never met telling her joyul, encouraging words. For a
ormer orphan, this was lie changing!
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Top 10 items to include in a care packageWhen asked about care packages, one missionary couple responded, A care package says, We arethinking o you. We havent orgotten you. Despite miles and years, you are still a part o us, and we arestill a part o you. Take some time to consider what you can do to show your love to a missionary.
10. Small household items tools, lashlights, a good ly-swatter, umbrellas
9. Pictures or home videos o amily, riends, church or amily get-togethers
8. Family speciic needs childrens clothes, childrens activity books, Advil
7. Ministry speciic needs crats or children, donated clothes, workbooks and study guides, glue sticks
6. Culture keepers Time magazine, Christmas and Thanksgiving decorations, birthday party supplies
5. Git cards Kindle or Amazon, bookstores, popular restaurants back home
4. DVDs in English classic, comedy, animated, and adventure movies, home church services
3. Music worship, nostalgic, easy listening, classical, lullabies, instrumental
2. Books novels, historical iction, spiritual encouragement
1. Ask! They all miss something special to them. We received requests or everything rom good-ittingunderwear to vanilla coee creamer, spices, and seeds or the garden
Let: Newly arrived in Kenya, Heidi and Gilly Grifths tear into a care package rom the First United Methodist Church in Grifn,
Georgia, their hometown. Right: Ayli McEuen in Peru shares a photo on Instagram o an awesome care package.
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When
hopebegins
to stirMissionary care
can happen
through listening
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When you returned rom your missionary service in
Ghana, were you given a time o debrie?
Lauren: No. We did not go out with an agency like Te Mis-
sion Society. So debrieng, or even training, was not part o
our experience.
Can you tell about how debrieng became such an
important part o The Mission Societys member care
ministry?
Lauren: In the beginning, we didnt have a lot o structure to
debrieng. Wed have a couple o hours at the oce with mis-
sionaries who had returned rom the eld or were on a short
break. But those times were prone to interruption.
Ten three o us on staf took training at Mission raining
International (MI) in Colorado, and we began to under-
stand how valuable debrieng is. So Jo Ann and I asked to
start handling debries. Tats when we began having more
structure, contacting missionaries ahead o time, and putting
policies in place.
Now I send a letter to our missionaries several months
beore we meet. Among other things, it explains what debrie-
ing is. Debrie, by denition, is telling a story o a most recent
event. Its just people being able to tell their story and have
listening ears and understanding hearts as they tell it.
Our missionaries and missionary couples are able to do so
in a comortable environmentour homewith condenti-
ality. We make it very clear that the debrie is not an evalua-tion or critique o them or their ministry; its not a counseling
session. We arent trying to x them or deal with traumatic
issues theyve aced. Tey talk about peaceul times, stress-
ul times, good relationships, bad relationships, the whole
gamut. We help them tell their story by organizing their
thoughts ahead o time through the reection orms (which
are sent in advance). It helps that many o the missionaries
weve debrieed are those with whom weve had longstanding
relationships.
What is the secret to listening well?
Lauren:I think both Jo Ann and I have always been pretty
good listeners. I read somewhere that, [t]o be heard, really
heard, is to be healed. o be understood, really understood,
is to be reed. Extending a lot o grace and being accepting
o people where they are is something that was planted in us
rom our earliest days in our walk with God. Part o extend-
ing grace to people is listening to them. We dont really talk a
lot unless it is to ask questions.
Jo Ann is better than me at looking at someone in the eye.
Keeping eye contact is a good listening skill and makes people
eel that they are being listened to and cared or.
Jo Ann: We have a lot o patience. And also weve been there.
Weve been through the cross-cultural ministry experience
ourselves in Ghana. We are deeply interested in hearing what
missionaries have to say about what theyve experienced. I
think being truly interested is important in being a good
listener.
Are people almost encountering their own story as
theyre telling it?
Jo Ann: Yes. And in a ew instances, debries have even
changed the direction o our missionaries. Beore the debrie,
they thought they would be coming of the eld, but the
debrie experience conrmed that they would continue in
cross-cultural ministry, but in a diferent place.
What is the importance o debrie or the kingdom?
Lauren: I think it encourages; it helps missionaries process a
lot o things and have some cathartic moments. And it helps
reinorce the message that we care or them as peoplethat
they are precious, and we value them. It oen encourages
people to press on in ministry. Its a time or renewal, or re-
ocusing, and reestablishing. Ten we close the time out with
anointing them and praying over them, because the day has
What will help missionaries thrive? Former missionaries Lauren and Jo Ann
Helveston, who launched The Mission Societys pastoral care department in
2007, have been or years exploring how simply being heard can propel people
orward in ministry. I remember reading, [t]o be heard, really heard, is to be
healed, says Lauren, who has seen ministries and ministers reinvigorated by others
simply listening. Here, he and Jo Ann talk about a not-oten-mentioned aspect o
missionary carethe debrie which is helping take member care to a new level.
themissionsociety.org Spring 2013 21
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22 Spring 2013 themissionsociety.org
revealed specic things. So it becomes a great opportunity or
prayer.
Jo Ann: We try to really bless them. Our home is open to
them. We say, Tere are the cups; there are the blankets;
there is the extra toilet paper. Just get whatever you need, and
make yoursel at home. Teyre not company. Teyre amily.
We take them out to special places to eat. We put a bowl o
ruit in their room, just like in a bed and breakast.
Youre helping others identiy their pain, but where is
your pain? The member care sta is small, and there are
so many missionaries.
Lauren: Adequate care. Te member care staf is growing, but
there is just no way that a ew people in the oce can care or
all our missionaries.
Te other issue is that we cant really know whats going
on in missionaries daily lives because were not there. When
youre a local pastor doing pastoral care, the people are close
at hand. Youre interacting with them; you can see a problem
through and walk with them, but we can't do that.
Is that partially why youre so involved in helping orm
home teams (see page 23)? When its not possible or
you to check in on a regular basis, members o the
home team can do that.
Lauren: Yes, the home team narrows the gap between the
missionary and the local church. It is the nucleus or care.
But I think we, as an agency, still need to do a lot more workin helping bring the people o the local church aboard to see
themselves as the primary caregivers or the missionaries and
ministers who go out rom their church. When Paul went out,
it was local churches that were seeking to really support him
and care or him. When missionaries go rom a church, we
want them to see: Tese people are our people; we should be
the ones caring or them. Te more you care or and support
people the greater the chances o them staying on the eld
long term.
Lets say my missionary riends are coming back to the
States. What are good questions to ask them?
Lauren: You would think that everyone wants to hear a mis-
sionarys story. Tats not true. Most people want the extreme-
ly abbreviated version. Some good questions would be: ell
me about two o the greatest experiences you had. Or, what
were a couple o the greatest relationships you developed? An-
other question would be: What are a ew things that stressed
you the most about living in a new culture?
I you could tell one thing about what youve discov-
ered about missionarieswhat theyre dealing with,
the struggles and the joyswhat would you want
people to know?
Jo Ann: Finances. People come home on ministry leave, and
they are running themselves ragged undraising.
Lauren: Another thing Ive discovered is, because o the great
needs, missionaries can sometimes eel as i the kingdoms
work is all on their shoulders. Tey need to take Sabbath
breaks, to rest, relax, and take vacations. Another issue is
loneliness. Missionaries eel a separation, not only rom their
amilies and rom us, but rom everything.
Jo Ann:And we dont try to x it. Most o the time we cant
x it, but we know that the Holy Spirit is able to work out all
these things. U
Lauren and Jo Ann Helvestonserved as missionaries and in the
local church pastorate prior to
serving with The Mission Society.
They hope to also develop
debries to be used onsite (when
sta members visit missionaries in their place o service), pre-
deployment, as well as debries or MKs.
Tears without an audience, without someone to hear and care, leave the wounds
unhealed. But when someone listens to our groaning and stays there, we eel
something change inside us. Despair seems less necessary; hope begins to stir
where beore there was only pain. This is called the ministry o listening.
Dr. Edward Hallowell, senior lecturer at Harvard Medical School
and director o the Center or Cognitive and Emotional Health in Concord, Massachusetts
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23themissionsociety.org Spring 2013
Thejoyo true communionThe home team provides a nucleus o care or the missionary.Butas these team members explainit turned out to be so much more.
In January, 2013, Nick, Heidi, their 10-year-old son, Gilly, departed or Kenya to
begin their rst term as career missionaries. Years earlier, they had sensed God
calling them to missionary service, and aer being approved as missionaries, they
had gathered a home team around them. All Mission Society missionaries arerequired to have a home team. Its unction is to provide ongoing prayer support
and accountability or the missionaries, to communicate about their ministry, and
to help in any way possible to care or them and propel their ministry orward.
Like most people, the Griths home team members had never heard o the home
team concept. But undeterred by the time and energy this commitment would
require o them, they each said yes. As a result, they seemed to discover one o the
greatest joys or any ollower o Jesus: rue community that comes rom joining
Jesus in His mission.
wo weeks beore the Griths deployed to Kenya, 10 o the 15 members o
the Griths home team circled up in the back o the sanctuary at Jodeco RoadUnited Methodist Church in Stockbridge, Georgia (the Grins home church) to
talk together about their experience to date as home team members. (One member
joined by phone.) Te ollowing is a sampling o their conversationwhich was
punctuated with a lot o laughter and marked by a sense o deepest camaraderie.
Grifths home team, rom ar right, then counterclockwise: Robert Bliss, the Rev. Michelle Rawdin, Angela Bliss, Bill MacLauchlin, Carol
MacLauchlin, Donna Rall, Cheryl McCollum, Jan Holland, Lee Holland, the Rev. Gene Shefeld, Nick Grifths, Heidi Grifths, Gilly Grifths.
Not shown, but present via phone: the Rev. Chris Mullis. Not present: Je and Jodie Gyurasics, Stan and Kathryn Partin
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Pastors, has this experience o being on the home team
helped to orm or inorm your local church ministry
somehow?
(Rev.) Michelle:I will speak to that. For my churches, its
been meaningul to be part o the journey, and to actually
connect with people who are orsaking all here and going
abroad to share the Word o Christ with others. You get
emails rom people who need support because theyre already
in the mission eld. But I think its been really good to have a
relationship with a amily who is going through the process.
How did you decide to sayyes to serve on the home
team?
Robert: Beore we became part o the home team, the
Griths were looking or a house to rent aer they sold their
house. Im a realtor; I deal in rentals. I started thinking. My
wie and I have a house thats much too big or us (all our girls
are grown and gone). So I asked my wie, Why dont we just
remodel the upstairs and let the Griths live there? When
the Griths rental term ended, they moved in with us. And
I cant say enough about what a blessing it has been. Its been
just unbelievable. (Every home team member should have
this experience.) Because o what we were doing, the Griths
asked us to be on their home team.
Next, Bill acLauchlin told about being with the Griths
in Disciple Bible Studywhen they made their decision toollow Gods call to missions. As part o the home team, the
acLauchlins hosted Pastor Simon and his wie - with whom
the Griths now serve in Kenya - when the couple came rom
Kenya to Georgia to visit. Lee and Jan Holland are ormer mis-
sionaries themselves. So when they were asked to join the home
team, they were already amiliar with some o the challenges o
missionary service. Tey were intrigued with the idea o a home
team and understood what a help that could oer a missionary.
What have been some o the highlights o serving on
the home team?
Carol:Tere are several things. Te rst one was when they
had the Griths estate sale. Nick and Heidi had such a lovely
home. I was there actually helping Heidi unpack all the stuf
and get it ready to sell. It was just amazing to me that God
had called them to give up everything here. As the day o the
sale came, you could just see God opening one door aer
another. Tere was even someone who had been to Kenya as
a missionary who came or the sale all the way rom North
Georgia. We went and picked up a trailer load o urniture
rom a woman who had visited a Sunday school class on the
particular Sunday that the Griths were speaking, and their
call had touched her so much that she asked neighbors to
donate things to be sold in the sale. God was just so much at
work and involved in this that it was amazing.
And then, when we did the Living Water Walk [an event to
raise unds and awareness o Kenyas need or clean water], so
many diferent churches came togetherall or one common
causeto help the Griths answer Gods call.
(Rev.) Chris: One o my highlights has been Vacation Bible
School and seeing Gilly talk to the kids. For me, as their pas-
tor, it was miraculous to watch those kids realize that some-
one their age, someone just like them, is doing thisand that
its a real thing.
Robert:Te highlight or me has been Gilly. Hes been such
an inspiration.
Cheryl:I think one o the highlights or me was when we
had a prayer vigil right beore the Griths le to go on their
vision trip to Kenya. Tere had been a lot o work beore that,
with the estate sale and everything. But the evening o the
prayer vigil, there was just a wonderul, peaceul realization
Nick is a civil engineer and plans to help provide resh drinkingwater via wells and water ltration systems. Heidi has a degree in
health sciences and will provide wellness training and establish
medical clinics or those sharing resources. They will work with
Arican ministry partners to help eliminate water-borne diseases.
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that this was becoming real. You could sense the Holy Spirit,
and it was just joy. For our church, it was the rst time that
we had ever done anything like that, too, so it was a stepping
out o aith or us also. It was such a blessing to be part o it.
Bill:We teach Jr. High Sunday school, and Gilly came and
gave us a talk. Young people are so inspired by hearing an-
other young person. It just caught re. (Bill told how, afer that,the youth got energetically involved in the Living Water Walk.)
What do you love most about being connected with the
Grifths ministry?
Donna (Heidis mom): I admire the commitment and the
courage that they have to do this (tears). I dont think I could
ever, ever do what theyve done. I just admire them, and I love
them or it.
Angela:When Heidi and Nick were making their decisions
to go into the mission eld, I read a book that convicted me.
It was about Arica. It was about how many people are dying
every day in Arica. And at the end o the book, it was as i
the Lord was saying, Okay, what are you
going to do about it?
It was at that time that Heidi and
Nicks need came to the surace, and
Robert and I said to each other, Wait a
minute! Tere is something that we can
do to help with the worlds needs. With
what God has blessed us with, we can take these resources
and make an impact. Were not going to go to Kenya, but
were going to support the Griths. And theyre going to ofer
Jesus Christ, clean water, and healthier living, and thats going
to make an impact on how many people there will live and
how many might know Jesus. And we can be part o that. We
can say, God, You convicted me that I had to do something
about this world problem. Ten you gave me the opportunity,
and I stepped up. So that leads me to eeling that Im part o
what theyre doing. Im doing what God wants me to do, too.
Im walking the walk that I need to be walking.
(Rev.) Chris:I met Nick and Heidi on a short-term mission
trip to Guatemala. So or me, one o the things that I most
love about being involved with this is seeing them progress
rom going on a mission trip or a week, and rom that, get-
ting passionate about missions in the United States, and then
rom that, responding to Gods call to be missionaries on a
oreign mission eld or a long term.
So that just thrills me, because when youre a pastor, you
have to do a lot o things, and sometimes at the end o the day,
youre thinking: Tis wasnt what I thought I would be doing
when I signed up or this. But then there are those other times
when you get to be involved with people like the Griths,
and you say: Yeah, this is what its really all about. And Im so
thankul that God let me be a part o this kind o lie-chang-
ing work. For me, these are the kinds o moments that make
being a pastor worthwhile.
(Rev.) Gene: My story is very similar to Chris. I remember
when we did a amily movie night at our church, and here
came this young couple [Nick and Heidi] with a little toddler.
I got to meet them then, and Ive been able to watch them in
their spiritual lie. And like Chris said, when youre setting up
all this stuf at the church, youre wondering: Does this make
any dierence in anyones lie at all?And then you see that it
does sometimes. You make connections, which, to me, is what
the kingdom o God is all aboutits about relationships with
other people. We get to see how all these callings mesh
together. Its just incredible how God works.
Jan: I have enjoyed getting to know you, Donna [Heidi's
mother]. Its been a privilege to watch a
mothers heart let go [o her amily].
Robert: Donna, you may be losing the
intimacy with Nick, and Heidi, and Gilly
or a while, but guess what? You have a
big amily here. We can rally around you.
Gilly:When we got back rom our training in Colorado, I
wrote a journal page about how God is our pillow. You can
trip, and there will be a pillow right theresomeone helps
you up. And I started noticing that God gives all o us our
pillows, and I think that the home team has been like, almost
a bed. (Laughter.)
Carol: I think in the beginning, we didnt know what a home
team was. We sure didnt know what a home team could do.
Kenya seemed like a million miles away, and it seemed like
so much money to raise. And we didnt even think that wecould help be a part o that. So or me, its been a learning that
we couldnt, but God could. And Hes the One who has made
every bit o this possible or each one o us.
(Rev.) Gene:But it is so very much like that. We take the baby
steps, and God does the rest. U
In the beginning, we didnt know what
a home team could do. God is the
One who has made every bit o this
possible or each one o us.
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As the Boeing 747 sped down the runway, Erika sat inside
with seat belt secure, her chin propped against a clenched st,
staring out the window until the nal sights o her beloved
Singapore disappeared rom view.
How can it hurt this much to leave a country that isnt even
mine?Erika closed her eyes and settled back in the seat, too
numb to cry the tears that begged to be shed. Will I ever comeback?
For nearly hal o her 23 years, she had thought o Singa-
pore as home. Now she knew it wasntand America hadnt
elt like home since she was eight years old.
Isnt there anywhere in the world I belong?she wondered.
Countless people o virtually every nationality and rom
a great variety o backgrounds identiy with Erikas eeling
o not ully belonging anywhere in the world, write David
Pollock and Ruth E. Van Reken, authors oTird Culture Kids,
rom which the above paragraphs were excerpted. As dened
by David Pollock, Tird Culture Kids (CKs) are children
who spend a signicant period o their developmental years
in a culture outside o their parents passport culture.
Tird Culture Kids are raised in a neither/nor world, say
Pollock and Van Reken. It is neither ully the world o their
parents culture (or cultures) nor ully the world o the otherculture (or cultures) in which they were raised.
Te Mission Societys MK Care staf serve explicitly with
our CK communityour missionary kids, who number
about 140. When recently, ve MKs rom two amiliesthe
atums (Costa Rica) and the McEuens (Peru) got together
we asked them about their experience as missionary kids.
Heres what Jesse and Kirsten atum (both 17), Kia (18), Ayli
(16), and odd (14) McEuen told us. (Drew atumalso 17
was absent, due to illness.)
Adiferent worldThird culture kids speak about a lie only a select population can relate to
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28 Spring 2013 themissionsociety.org
What are some issues/challenges that you deal with as a
Third Culture Kid (TCK)?
Learning a new language (then having to live in it), constantly
being an outsider, looking diferent, having to go through the
pain o nding out who your true riends are and who just
wants to use you.
What are some o the pluses/blessings o being a TCK?
Were adaptable in any situation. We are accepted in many di-
erent cultures. We get lots o great opportunities to learn and
travel. We are mature enough to hang out with adults, but still
teen enough to have un with our generation.
I you could talk to people in churches back in the
States, what do you wish they understood about Third
Culture Kids?
When this question was asked, we all looked at each other and
said, Everything! Our lives arent vacations, even though
we live in exotic places. Despite what you may think about
missionaries, were not reaks! We dont want to be treated di-
erently. Were not perect, and we have just as many problems
as you do. We, as kids, have to endure going through lots otrainings and speak at lots (seriously, LOS) o churches that
may or may not care about us or our ministry.
Teres honestly no way that people who have never lived
in another culture could understand what our lives are like,
but even so, all we want is to be treated like normal people.
Why is it important to eel supported by other MKs/
TCKs, riends, nationals, amily, The Mission Society?
It is so important to be in contact with other MKs. When we
all get together and laugh about the trials and blessings and
craziness o lie, its like taking a vacation rom reality. For the
ew days that we have with each other, we can be completely
honest and know that the other MKs will understand exactly
what were talking about.
Its also really nice to eel connected with Te Mission Soci-
ety, because it gives us the condence the people in charge o
our saety are actually concerned about our well being. When
we go to the oce, its like seeing amily again.
In times o loneliness or trials, is it signicant when
you receive some encouragement rom someone in the
States (rom your riends or church people or rom The
Mission Society)?
In our rst year on the eld, encouragement and kind words
rom riends and churches in the States were common and
greatly appreciated. But aer that, people in the States seemed
to orget about us.
Its also hard to receive notes that say things like, Well it
seems bad now, but itll get better! and Just keep holding
onto Gods promises, and youll be okay! rom people who
have no idea. When we are going through a hard time andshow it, people in the States seem to think that weve lost our
aith and are spiraling down into depression or something
dramatic like that. Tey dont seem to understand that we
have bad days just like they do, and it doesnt mean the end o
our ministry!
However, when we get some kind o encouragement rom
Te Mission Society or any close riends in the States, it
means a lot! Just to know that we are thought about is really
great coming rom people we dont get to see very oen. U
Being a third culture kid means constantly
being an outsider, but it also means being
accepted in many dierent cultures, say
teens rom two missionary amilies who
got together recently in Peru. Top let: Ayli
McEuen, Kirsten Tatum Bottom let: Todd
McEuen, Jesse Tatum, and Kia McEuen
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Caring or third culture kidsTe missionary kid (MK) care department o Te Mission Society exists to equip, engage, and enable our missionary amilies
around the world. Stafers Vicki Decker and Shawn Ramsay(see page 13) co-lead this ministry, which has a special emphasis
on children and youth who serve cross-culturally.
Shawn and Vicki are both ormer missionaries and raised their amilies overseas. Vicki and husband, Frank, spent seven
years in Ghana with their three children; and Shawn and husband, Jim, spent 10 years in Kazakhstan with their our children.
ogether, Vicki and Shawn help provide care or approximately 140 missionary kids whose ages range rom birth to 22 years
old.
Te goal o the department is to help missionary parents rear well-adjusted, emotionally healthy children. Tis allows the
amily unit to minister more efectively. Vicki and Shawn do this through several programs:
Equipping MKs and their parents with cultural training, education, and retreats
Engaging MKs and their parents as they develop ongoing relationships, ofer prayer support, and check in periodically
with missionary amilies
Enabling MKs and their parents by providing support in areas where the amily is oen vulnerable
We recommendThird Culture Kids: Growing Up Among Worlds
By David C. Pollock and Ruth E. Van Reken
More and more children are growing up among worlds, creating a culturally
rich and diverse world. Third Culture Kids, revised edition, examines the
nature o the TCK experience and its eect on maturing, developing a sense
o identity, and adjusting to one's passport country upon return.
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News
30 Spring 2013 themissionsociety.org
Dick McClain with The Mission Societys missionary team in Paraguay
he Mission Society is pleased to announce
that Ari Morsella has been named the new
manager o member care. Ari directs andacilitates member care or he Mission
Society missionaries and home oice sta.
We see ourselves in member care as
intercessors, encouragers, listeners, and
advocates. I get to connect with our people
and want to celebrate their victories, grieve
when they hurt and stand with them in their
struggles. I want to hear and know their
stories, said Morsella.
Ari served as a Mission Society missionary
in the Russian Far East or 14 years beore
joining the sta in 2009. From my yearso cross-cultural ministry, I really get what
our missionaries are experiencing, said
Morsella. I understand what it is like to
enter a new culture, say goodbye to amily
and riends, and have your worldview
expanded. And I discovered that I gained ar
more than I ever really gave up. Ari moved
to this new member care position in January
2013.U
New manager o member care named
Ari Morsella served or 14 years
in the Russian Far East beore
joining the sta o The Mission
Society home ofce.
Missionary presents paper at international missions gathering
he Rev. Kirk Sims presented a paper, A
Christendom toolbox, but a Christendom
tool? Mission beyond the conines o a
mission agency and entrenched in migration
at the International Association o Mission
Studies quadrennial meeting in oronto.
he theme o the conerence was Migration,
Human Dislocation, and the Good News.
Sims is currently pursuing a Ph.D. with
the Oxord Centre or Mission Studies. His
research centers on the mission activities
emerging rom West Arica, where he
and his wie, Nicole, and their sons served
previously. he Simses presently serve with
he Mission Society in Hamburg, Germany.
here, Nicolealso a United Methodist
elderpastors an international church o
migrants in Hamburg. U
The Mission Society celebrates
25 years o ministry in Paraguay
In January, he Mission Society celebrated the 25th
anniversary o its ministry in Paraguay with a special
event in Asuncon. President Dick McClain traveled to
Paraguay to speak at the anniversary gathering.
he Mission Society irst began work in Paraguay
in 1988. he 6th Region o the Methodist Church o
Brazil invited he Mission Society to partner in their
ministry to Paraguay. It was he Mission Societys happ
privilege to support the eorts o our Brazilian sisters
and brothers in Paraguay in proclaiming the good news
o the kingdom, planting churches, training pastors and
leaders, and initiating programs o healthcare, clean wate
community development, education, and agriculture, to
name just a ew. We are indebted to the many women
and men who have served with he Mission Society in
Paraguay, and join them in celebrating what God has
done in that nation, said McClain. U
Kirk and Nicole Sims serve
with sons, Aidan and Eli, in
Hamburg, Germany.
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Trough your partnership with Te
Mission Society, you not only proclaim
the gospel o Jesus to the world, but you
also testiy to your loved ones about
your commitment to the Lords work.
Did you know that, by dedicating only
a ew minutes o your time, you can
arrange to continue your partnership
with Te Mission Society even aer
death? I have oen been asked about
how to create a bequest to charity (a
gi aer death) without a lot o expense
or without needing legal counsel.
We are providing creative planning
ideas here that may help you in this
vital step to honor your values and
extend your care or missions beyond
your lietime. Nevertheless, we urge
our riends to seek the counsel o an
attorney when dealing with legal issues.
Update your lie insurance
beneciary
Te rst good stewardship idea is to
update the beneciary o your lie
insurance policy. I you have sucient
cash and liquid assets to cover