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UNDERSTANDING
PERSONALITY
PERSONALITY AND
UNDERSTANDING HOW TO DEAL
WITH DIFFICULT TEAM MEMBERS!
Successfully dealing with difficult
teams entails understanding team
members’ personality traits and
working with them to resolve their
problems.
The better you know yourself, the
better you will know your team
members!
UNDERSTANDING PERSONALITY
Our personality is responsible
for:
• Establishing our value system,
the principles and core beliefs that
serve as our code of conduct, and
producing the behaviour we use to
support them;
• Developing our natural talents
and influencing how they’re
expressed;
• Generating our perceptions,
both internally and externally, and
influencing what we do with them;
UNDERSTANDING
PERSONALITY
Our personality is responsible
for:
• Directing our emotional reactions
and our rational responses to
experiences and situations;
• Determining what motivates and
irritates us;
• Choosing the people we’re
attracted to and those we’ll have
a natural tendency to avoid.
UNDERSTANDING
PERSONALITY
Our personality traits…according to the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator[MBTI] are:
Trait 1. Where we get our energy from. Our Extraverted [E] andIntroverted [I];
Trait 2. How we take in information. Our senses. Intuitive [N] and Details Oriented [S];
Trait 3. How we make decisions. People [F] and Facts [T];
Trait 4. The way in which we like to live our day-to-day life. Go-with-the-flow [P] and Structured/Organised [J].
UNDERSTANDING
PERSONALITY Energy
Do you prefer to focus on your outer
[external energy sources or inner
world [internal energy sources]?
Extraversion [E]
Introversion [I]
UNDERSTANDING
PERSONALITY
E/I Exercise
• Self-select whether you have a preference
for Extraversion or Introversion.
• Organise yourselves into preference-alike
groups.
• Brainstorm and flip-chart answers to the
following questions to educate one another:
What do Introverts do that enhances meeting
effectiveness?
What do Introverts do that detracts from
meeting effectiveness?
What do Extraverts do that enhances meeting
effectiveness?
What do Extraverts do that detracts from
meeting effectiveness?
UNDERSTANDING
PERSONALITY Information
Do you prefer to focus on the basic
information you take in or do you
prefer to interpret and add meaning?
Sensing [S]
Intuition [N]
UNDERSTANDING
PERSONALITY
S/N Exercise
• Self-select whether you have a preference
for Sensing or Intuition.
• Organise yourselves into preference-alike
groups.
Using whatever you can find in this room or
surrounding offices, you have 10 minutes to
build something.
UNDERSTANDING
PERSONALITY
S/N Exercise
• Intuitive types will usually build an abstract
model that no one can identify, while the
Sensing types will usually build a very
practical, concrete model that everyone can
identify.
• Sensing people tend to plan and organise
alike items together, while Intuitive types
tend to just start building.
UNDERSTANDING
PERSONALITYDecisions
Do you prefer to make decisions
putting people at the heart of your
decision-making, or facts first?
Thinking [T]
Feeling [F]
UNDERSTANDING
PERSONALITY
T/F Exercise
Story
• There was a 36-year-old man, and he had six
children between the ages of 1 and 6.
• Unfortunately, the man’s wife had died about six
months prior to this incident.
• One day, out of desperation, he went into a grocery
store, filled up a grocery trolley with items, and
proceeded to walk past the cashier…out the front
door…and into the parking lot with the full grocery
cart.
• The cashier ran after him and asked him whether
he had paid for the items in his trolley.
• The man told the cashier no!
UNDERSTANDING
PERSONALITY
T/F Exercise
Self-select whether you have a preference for
Thinking or Feeling.
Organise yourselves into preference-alike groups.
Question
Consider the following scenario:
“You are the manager of this grocery store. You
have complete autonomy to decide whether you
would prosecute this man or not.”
UNDERSTANDING
PERSONALITY
T/F Exercise
• Discuss your decisions. If they would prosecute,
why? If not, why not?
• As you discuss your decisions, on a flip-chart
record your responses on either the Thinking (T)
side or Feeling (F) side of a T-chart.
• Note that sometimes the Thinking types will make
a Feeling comment, and vice versa.
UNDERSTANDING
PERSONALITY
T/F Exercise
• Usually the Thinking types want to prosecute the
man or in some way hold him accountable for his
actions (based on the principle of law and order).
• The Feeling types want to give him food or offer
him a job to feed his children (based on the value
of compassion).
UNDERSTANDING
PERSONALITY
T/F Exercise
Did I tell you that there were
groceries in the trolley?
UNDERSTANDING
PERSONALITY
T/F Exercise
It’s likely you will have all have heard the
word “groceries,” even though I did not say
that.
Actually, the man just had beer and
cigarettes in the trolley.
How do you feel now?
UNDERSTANDING
PERSONALITY
T/F Exercise
Feeling types usually would now want to
prosecute too because they likely have
made their decision based on compassion
for the kids, and clearly the man was not
thinking about the kids.
When Feeling types change their mind
based on new information that changes the
personal equation, this can confuse
Thinking types.
Thinking types generally don’t change
based on what is in the trolley. It does
change for Feeling types based on the
unique circumstances of a person’s life.
UNDERSTANDING
PERSONALITY Structure
In dealing with the outside world,
do you prefer to get things decided
or do you prefer to stay open to new
information and options?
Judging [J]
Perceiving [P]
UNDERSTANDING
PERSONALITY
J/P Exercise
• Self-select whether they have a
preference for Judging or Perceiving.
• Organise yourselves into preference-
alike groups.
Prepare for a holiday.
UNDERSTANDING
PERSONALITY
As you read the following, think about
how often you do what each statement
says.
• M = Most of time
• S = Some of the time; and
• A = Almost never
UNDERSTANDING
PERSONALITY
Quiz: How assertive are you?
• If I disagree with a colleague, I say so, even if it
means she/he might not like me.
• I do what I think is right, even if I know it may make
me unpopular.
• I let people know when they disappoint me.
• I say no when colleagues want to duplicate my work
when they can’t be bothered to do their own.
• If a colleague is talking I express my views on
important things, even if others disagree.
• When I don't understand what someone is telling
me, I ask questions.
• When it is clear that a point needs to be made and
no one is making it, I say so and make the point.
• When colleagues hurt my feelings, I let them know
how I feel.
UNDERSTANDING
PERSONALITY
Quiz: How assertive are you?
• Generally speaking, I want colleagues to like me.
• or making too much noise in the office, I ask him or
her to be quiet.
• If I have a team member who is always late, I tell him
or her how I feel about it.
• I ask my colleagues for a favour when I need one.
• When a colleague asks me to do something that goes
against my values, I refuse.
• I express my views on important things, even if others
disagree.
• When I don't understand what someone is telling me, I
ask questions.
• When it is clear that a point needs to be made and no
one is making it, I say so and make the point.
• When colleagues hurt my feelings, I let them know
how I feel.
• Generally speaking, I want colleagues to like me.
UNDERSTANDING
PERSONALITY
• Many people achieve only fairly low scores
on this survey.
• People with scores higher than 7 should be
glad they have learned how to speak up for
what they want and say 'no' to things they
don't want.
• Boys and men generally score higher than
girls and women on assertiveness surveys
such as this one.
• People are more likely to treat others with
respect when they treat themselves with
respect.
• People with scores below six can easily
improve their score by practising assertive
behaviours.
UNDERSTANDING
PERSONALITY
Dealing assertively with team
members. What is the difference
between the following team
member behaviours?
• Passive
• Aggressive
• Passive-Aggressive
• Assertive
UNDERSTANDING
PERSONALITY
PASSIVE PEOPLE…
- fail to assert for themselves
- allow others to deliberately or inadvertently
infringe on their rights
- fail to express their feelings, needs, or opinions
- tend to speak softly or apologetically
- exhibit poor eye contact and slumped body
posture
- feel anxious because life seems out of their
control
- feel depressed because they feel stuck and
hopeless
- feel resentful (but are unaware of it) because their
needs are not being met
- feel confused because they ignore their own
feelings
- are unable to mature because real issues are
never addressed
UNDERSTANDING
PERSONALITY
AGGRESSIVE PEOPLE…
- try to dominate others and use humiliation
to control others
- criticise, blame, or attack others
- be very impulsive and have a low
frustration tolerance
- speak in a loud, demanding, and
overbearing voice
- act threateningly and rudely
- not listen well and interrupt frequently
- use “you” statements
- have piercing eye contact and an
overbearing posture
- become alienated from others and alienate
others
- generate fear and hatred in others
- always blame others instead of owning
their issues, and thus are unable to mature
UNDERSTANDING
PERSONALITY
PASSIVE - AGGRESSIVE PEOPLE…
- mutter to themselves rather than confront
the person or issue
- have difficulty acknowledging their anger
- use facial expressions that don't match
how they feel - i.e., smiling when angry
- use sarcasm
- deny there is a problem
- appear cooperative while purposely doing
things to annoy and disrupt
- use subtle sabotage to get even
- become alienated from those around them
- remain stuck in a position of
powerlessness (like POWs)
- discharge resentment while real issues are
never addressed so they can't mature
UNDERSTANDING
PERSONALITY
ASSERTIVE PEOPLE…
- state needs and wants clearly, appropriately,
and respectfully
- express feelings clearly, appropriately, and
respectfully
- use “I” statements and communicate respect
for others
- listen well without interrupting
- have good eye contact and speak in a calm
and clear tone of voice and have a relaxed
body posture
- feel connected to others and feel competent
- not allow others to abuse or manipulate
them
- stand up for their rights and feel in control of
their lives
- are able to mature because they address
issues and problems as they arise
- create a respectful environment for others to
grow and mature
UNDERSTANDING
PERSONALITY
• What makes it difficult to be assertive? (the
other person is more powerful or stronger, for
example, an adult or parent. The person is
someone who you want to please, like a friend).
Can you think of a situation in which you would
like to be more assertive?
• Do you know someone in real life who is
particularly good at being assertive and
standing up for her/his rights? What about on
radio or on television? Describe that person and
her/his assertive behaviour.
• Can you describe a situation when you were
assertive? What happened?
• Can you suggest how to be assertive without
being aggressive? (for example: be calm but firm
do not demand or threaten, be firm about standing
up for yourself; use a normal tone of voice and
keep your body language relaxed, use I
statements.)
• Do you have a friend who needs to learn to be
more assertive? Explain. How can you help?
UNDERSTANDING
PERSONALITY
Eric Berne initiated the principle within
Transactional Analysis [TA] that we are all
born 'OK’ - in other words good and
worthy.
Frank Ernst developed these into the OK
matrix, (also known as the 'OK Corral'
after the famous 1881 Tombstone
shootout between the Earps and the
Clantons).
These are also known as 'life positions'.
UNDERSTANDING
PERSONALITY
I'm not OK - You're OK
• When I think I'm not OK but you are
OK, then I am putting myself in an
inferior position with respect to you.
• This position may come from being
belittled as a child, perhaps from
dominant parents or maybe careless
teachers or bullying peers.
• People in this position have a
particularly low self-esteem and will put
others before them. They may thus has
a strong 'Please Others' driver.
UNDERSTANDING
PERSONALITY
I'm OK - You're not OK
• People in this position feel themselves superior
in some way to others, who are seen as inferior
and not OK.
• As a result, they may be contemptuous and
quick to anger. Their talk about others will be
smug and supercilious, contrasting their own
relative perfection with the limitation of others.
• This position is a trap into which many
managers, parents and others in authority fall,
assuming that their given position makes them
better and, by implication, others are not OK.
• These people may also have a strong 'Be
Perfect' driver, and their personal strivings
makes others seem less perfect.
UNDERSTANDING
PERSONALITY
I'm not OK - You're not OK
• This is a relatively rare position, but perhaps
occurs where people unsuccessfully try
to project their bad objects onto others.
• As a result, they remain feeling bad whilst also
perceive others as bad.
• This position could also be a result of
relationships with dominant others where the
other people are viewed with a sense
of betrayal and retribution.
• This may later get generalised from the bullies
to all others people.
UNDERSTANDING
PERSONALITY
I'm OK - You're OK
• When I consider myself OK and also frame
others as OK, then there is no position for me or
you to be inferior or superior.
• This is, in many ways, the ideal position. Here,
the person is comfortable with other people and
with themselves.
• They are confident, happy and get on with other
people even when there are points of
disagreement.
UNDERSTANDING
PERSONALITY
Locus of Control
Locus of Control as a principle was originated
by Julian Rotter in 1954. It considers the
tendency of people to believe that control
resides internally within them, or externally,
with others or the situation.
• Note that, like other preferences, this is a
spectrum.
• Some people have a wholly internal or
external locus of control, but many will have
some balance both views, perhaps varying
with situation.
• For example some may be more internal at
home but more external at work.
UNDERSTANDING
PERSONALITY
Locus of Control
External
• People with a high external locus of control
believe that control over events and what other
people do is outside them, and that they
personally have little or no control over such
things.
• They may even believe that others have control
over them and that they can do nothing but
obey.
Rotter (1990) describes the external locus of
control as:
'the degree to which persons expect that the
reinforcement or outcome is a function of chance,
luck, or fate, is under the control o f powerful
others, or is simply unpredictable.'
UNDERSTANDING
PERSONALITY
Locus of Control
External
• With such beliefs, people with an external locus
of control tend to be fatalistic, seeing things as
happening to them and that there is little they
can do about it.
• This tends to make them more passive and
accepting. When they succeed, they are more
likely to attribute this to luck than their own
efforts.
• They are less likely to have expectancy shifts,
seeing similar events as likely to have similar
outcomes. they hence step back from events,
assuming they cannot make a difference.
• Younger and older people tend to have higher
external locus of control than people in middle
age.
UNDERSTANDING
PERSONALITY
Locus of Control
Internal
• People with a high internal locus of control
believe in their own ability to control themselves
and influence the world around them.
• They see their future as being in their own
hands and that their own choices lead to
success or failure.
Rotter (1990) describes the internal locus of control
as:
'the degree to which persons expect that a
reinforcement or an outcome of their behaviour is
contingent on their own behaviour or personal
characteristics'
UNDERSTANDING
PERSONALITY
Locus of Control
Internal
• Their belief in their ability to change things may
well make them more confident and they will
hence seek information that will help them
influence people and situations.
• They will also likely be more motivated and
success-oriented. These beliefs may even lead
them to be more politically active.
• They are more likely to have expectancy shifts,
where a sequence of similar events are
expected to have different outcomes.
• They tend to be more specific, generalising less
and considering each situation as unique.
People in middle age tend to have the highest
internal locus of control.
UNDERSTANDING
PERSONALITY
Locus of Control
Internal
• A downside of an internal locus of control is
that, in accepting responsibility, the person has
to also accept blame for failures.
