8/11/2019 Uchicago Waldo
1/2
When you see a man walking down the street in a bobble hat, red
and white striped
shirt, and extraordinarily circular bi-focals, an unusual
dichotomy immediately jumps into
your head. That guy is either dressedas Waldo, or else hes just
a magnificently ironic
hipster. Because I am a glass half full kind of guy, and I have
some hope for the future of
human kind, I would chose to assume the former. Waldo, of
course, is the star of British
author Martin Hanfords outrageously popular hide-and-seek comic
for children; a man
whose very existence has become a challenge to keen eyed and
intellectually ambitiouspeople everywhere. When compared to
vanquishing the enigma of the non-conformist, a
mysterious archetype bred and immortalized in off-color
metropolitan areas like
Minneapolis and Portland(ia), chasing the Bournesque Waldo
through a slew of world
wonders and household objects seems like a walk in the park.
Waldo is a parable in his own
right, a drifter the likes of which the world has never
seen.
Still, the majority of applicants who undertake the hellish
concoction of expectation
and clich that characterizes our prompt, So where is Waldo,
really? will likely write about
their own inner Waldo. Whether it is teenage angst, low
self-esteem, or a challenge in sports,
looking for oneself will be the overused metaphor that YOU will
have to wade through as an
admissions counselor. Luckily, unless this essay degenerates
into a useless pile of unagi, you
wont see more of the same for the next 5 minutes.
See, I already know myself. Through the last four years, Ive
encountered the
majority of personality traits that indicate what I will become.
I know, I know, college is
supposed to be where you find yourself; but honestly, I believe
college is more about
embracing yourself than making yourself. And unlike Waldo, Ive
already embraced my
need to standout: no hiding in a sea of striped objects for this
kid. Rather, Im hoping that
living and studying at UChicago will help me figure out which
Waldo to find. Though I
recognize that my self-esteem is a tad too high, and Im well
aware of my weaknesses, I only
have a very vague visual of my future. The challenge Im trying
to conquer is not so much aquestion of whereas it is a question of
what.
Umbrellas, cups, tables, and landmarks: These objects litter the
pages of Waldo
activity books. But if the comics were instead titled Where are
Objects? would you really
want to play the game? There has to be a finish line in mind,
otherwise, when you encountera hurdle, there is nothing to stop you
from turning around. So when it comes to my search
for Waldo, I may as well be looking for the spoon sitting on top
of the Taj Mahal.
Nevertheless, I guess that searching for Waldo is supposed to be
a metaphor for
searching for answers and some deep meaning behind the questions
of life. But I really just
have one question. Why does anyone care where Waldo is? The
search for Waldo is at its
best when you run into him, not when youve been pursuing for him
for years. When finding
Waldo becomes an obsession, when you spend metaphorical hour
after metaphorical hour
staring desperately at one page, hoping, dreaming for a fleeting
view of that elusive hipster,
thatswhen Waldo becomes corrupted. For even when you think you
may have seen him,
BAM, he jumps to the next page, like some perplexing immortal
from a science fiction novel.
Maybe it is better that you have a general idea of Waldos
existence, as opposed to exact
coordinates. Can Heisenbergs uncertainty principle be applied to
a striped little man? Is itpossible that Schrodingers cat is
actually Schrodingers Waldo?Realistic that you never
really know the state of the cat as long as you think you know
that its in the box? Perhaps
its preferable, then, to dream not of the spoon, but rather of
the cutlery drawer. So Imsorry Robin Ye, class of 2016. I dont care
where Waldo REALLY is, and quite frankly,neither should you.
Assuming you can find him with a formula is a postulation so
perplexing
that it gives Twilight beating Harry Potter at the MTV Movie
Awards a run for its money.
Personally, I hope that Waldo is relaxing in a condo on Bondai
Beach. I truly think
that Waldo wont be something run-of-the-mill, hiding in plain
sight or in a military complex
