TX Citizen 6.13.13

7/28/2019 TX Citizen 6.13.13

1/16

VOLUME TWO

I S S U E 2 4

06.13 .13

E l P i t m a s t e r C o o k s | U n c l e E s e l S p e a k s | K e l l y C o l b y E a t s

"Partofitwentongambling,andpartofitwentonwomen.

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7/28/2019 TX Citizen 6.13.13

2/16

TXCITIZEN

1111

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NewB

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fels,

TX78130

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ST

AFF/

CONTACT

Publisher/Editor-in-ChieMikeReyno

lds

DirectoroDistributionChaseCochran

ArtDirectorKaylaWa

llace

Ed

itorial:[email protected]

Ad

vertising:sa

[email protected]

Distribution:

[email protected]

PHOTOC

RED

ITS

Cover:

ChaseCochran

2 AD SALES 830.483.9563

24 Beers on Tap - Full Bar

Live Entertainment - Pool Tables

BLACK WHALE PUB367 Main Plaza 830-625-6605

table

of contents

1st WordHowd you like to pay to get into

Prince Solms Park? The Mayor

would like that very much.

PLUS: Get a piece of Walnut!3

The Beer HunterWhen Mi tc he ll dri nk s,

we al l le ar n so me th in g. 13

Last Word Mr Colby visited our fair city,

and ate his way through it. 15

12

Sound Out Of TownBecause Austin and San Antoniooccasionally have live music too.

SpoilersWe se e mo vi es so yo u do n t ha ve to .

The CountysMost WantedLook, Mommy! Daddys in the paper!

Ask a MexicanGustavo offends in two languages.

14 SportsAll Mexi edi tion!

8

Citizen SoundcheckThe ONLY guide of its kind for

the NB/SM Metroplex!

5 Help WantedGet a job.

Advice from

Uncle Esel Got a problem? You will.

El PitmasterOf baby backs and bones.DiversionsKaraoke, trivia, pool tourneys,and such.7

10

CalendarStuff to do. Go do stuff. 6

11

215 S. Seguin Downtown NB 830.620.9188

Join us for

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WORD

7/28/2019 TX Citizen 6.13.13

3/16

PAUL J. SMITHAttorney at Law

Board Certified in Criminal Law

Texas Board of Legal Specialization

651 S. Walnut

Suite D #228

New Braunfels, Tx 78130

830-832-1534

www.pauljsmithlaw.com

[email protected] 382 IH 35 S. / New Braunfels

830.625.3200

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TXCITIZEN.COM 3

Ugh.Well the big news this week is

that Mayor Gale Pospisil hasdecided to press orward with

her plan to start charging people

to use Prince Solms Park to

access the Comal River. This ater

instituting a disposable container

ban that has driven a substantial amount

o river tourism out o the City.

On the surace, this seems like madness,

given that the Mayor claimed the ban was

put in place to 1) Keep litter out o the rivers,and 2) Save money. Ater we examined

thousands o email exchanges between City

Council and certain river-area homeowners,

it came as no surprise to First Word readers

that the actual reason was 3) To keep non-

river-area homeowners o o the river. And

given that, a ee to access the park doesnt

seem so crazy ater all.

Lets address those Can Ban goals, and

see how they turned out. As or keeping litterout o the rivers, we established that the City

was purposely inating litter numbers by

reporting properly disposed o trash that is,

trash in trash cans, on land - as underwater

river litter. They urther blew up the stats by

counting mostly empty 60-gallon trash bags as

60-gallons worth o trash.

The Mayor responded to our fndings by

stating that she didnt believe that the numbers

really mattered but nonetheless continued to

sell the ban on the basis o the alse fgures.

Council then awarded the clean up contract

back to the same company theyve always used,

at the pre-ban price. Clean up was supposed

to be a non-issue, what with tourist litter

eliminated, so it stood to reason the taxpayer

should save some bucks on maintenance. Only

ater a massive public outcry was that contract

adjusted, and even then, in a manner thatlet the possibility o it coming in at the same

amount as beore the ban. Hooray.

We were also going to save some big

money on police, what with less garbage in the

river and all. I know that sounds crazy, so let

me be very, very clear here: WE DO REALIZE

THERE IS NO LEGITIMATE CONNECTION

BETWEEN CRIME AND SANDWICH BAGS.

This was always about the contents o beer

cans, but the Mayor insisted, over and over,that alcohol was not the issue, and that the

ban was intended to solve environmental and

fnancial problems. Since those are

the terms by which she made her

argument, those are the terms by

which weve taken her to task.Anyway, sure as shootin,

the post-ban police budget came

in even higher than the year beore,

presumably because we created a

new class o criminal hooligans that

eat Doritos out o actory packaging.

So, just to be clear: Were spending just

as much, i not more money on the Comal

this year as we did beore the ban. Thatsa massive, expensive ail or the Mayor

assuming she was truthul with her motives.

As or her environmental concerns, well,

trash still has to be removed rom the rivers,

because the Citys streets drain into them

every time it rains, and not a single thing has

been done to mitigate that. Yuck. In act, this

remains the situation even though the State

ordered the City to take action on this back

in 2010. The City, rather than comply withthe States MS-4 rules (Google that), has spent

about $300,000 on studies, which is what

they do when they want to stall on something,

or simply wish to unnel money to consultants.

We must consider the environmental

actor another ail or the Mayor, but only i

we accept her stated reasons or banning

disposable containers.

Now, i we go ahead and admit that the

real goal o the Can Ban was to keep people

rom oating the river, which she vehemently

denied, then we have a winner, which is

why, despite her fnancial and environmental

ailures, the Mayor has been lauded by theComal River-area homeowners.

Continued on next page.

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The original completion date or Waln t

7/28/2019 TX Citizen 6.13.13

4/16

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Continued rom previous page.

To sum up, i she told the truth about the

Can Ban, shes a massive ailure. I she lied,

shes a raging success.

Now that Phase One is complete, and

tourists are not requenting the river as they

had in the past, its time to put the hammer

down and limit the amount o locals that insist

on oating the Comal, by charging themadmission to a park that theyve already paid

taxes to maintain. You know who likes parks

more than anyone? Big Mexican amilies.

You know who likes paying admission to use

a park? Nobody. Mission accomplished.

Council has approved the ormation o a

stakeholder committee, made up o outftters

and park-and-riverside homeowners, which will

be charged with setting the parks entry ee. Let

me state this: The outftters with river access,

like Wurstests Landa Falls, would love a high

admission price to the park. As would the local

homeowners. Remember, this is Texas Most

Corrupt City, and hiring oxes to guard our

henhouse is par or the course.

The truth is, the entire public is the

stakeholder in a public park, not just people who

live or work near it. Councils move puts us one

step closer to a public river, and a public park,becoming as private as possible. The power

players in this city are on a roll, converting

public assets, be they land, water, or tax dollars,

into private benefts or a privileged ew.

District Twos Aja Edwards-Patino was

the only Council member that voted against

the admission proposal. Sadly, District Ones

George Green went along with the rest o

the gang, which was a huge disappoint to us

here, because we really like the guy. Werehoping or better rom him in the uture.

(Disclosure: The TX Citizen leases its ofce

space rom Edwards-Patino.)

Should the Mayor pull this one o, the

only people with ree access to the Comal will

be riverside homeowners, their riends, one or

two outftters, and members o the Wurstest

Association. Phase Two is coming. The question

is, are we going to stand or it? Or do we even

have a choice?

Fun with Walnut AvenueOn September 7, 2010, construction began

on the Boyer-Morrison Parkway, more commonly

known as the Walnut Avenue Expansion Project.

Since that time, weve run through two Mayors,

our changes at the Councilmember level, and

the fring o the City Manager under whom the

project was started, while the Houston-Owned

Herald-Zeitung is on its third Editor-in-Chie.

Heck, I wasnt even reporting news at KGNB

yet, let alone writing this column.

The original completion date or Walnutwas April 3, 2013, which has, o course,

come and gone. A second completion date

was announced, that o August 8, 2013.

Now, because it rained last week, a third

date has been published. The current completion

date is scheduled or August 17, 2013.

Since the citizens o New Braunels have

had to live with this vanity project/construction

or the last three years, the TX Citizen believes

its high time somebody other than the usual

contractors made some money o o the deal.

Which is why were starting a pool. Special

thanks to reader Richard Buord or providing

the impetus to get this going.

For just $5 per entry, you can buy into

any date between July 1, 2013, and August

17, 2017. Should the street open or business

on your selected date, youll win 100% o the

entry ees (or split them with other entrants whochose the same date).

Important: There are two dates at play

here the day the City Engineers ofce signs

o on the Certifcate o Final Completion,

and the dedication date, which is when the

myriad o current and ormer Mayors and

Councilmembers will show up to cut a ribbon

or something. Were looking or the latero the

two dates, as, or the purposes o this contest,

the job isnt complete until both events havebecome a matter o record.

You may enter as many times as youd

like, with entries spread over as many or ew

days as youd preer. You want multiple shares

o January 12, 2015? You got it. The deadline

or entry is June 30, 2013.

Should no one pick the winning date, or

construction continue past the summer o 2017,

well conduct a poll to see which local charity

our readers would like to donate the money to.So write down your selected date(s), put

it/them in an envelope with the appropriate

amount o cash, and drop it through our mail

slot at 1111 N Walnut Avenue. Then wait.

\m/

Mike Reynolds

Publisher/Editor-in-Chie

7/28/2019 TX Citizen 6.13.13

5/16

TXCITIZEN.COM 5

The Tobacco Haus Cigar Lounge & Bar

is currently taking applications or cocktail

waitress. Advancement to bartender possible.Retail experience a plus, no wait or bar

experience necessary. Must be available

nights and weekends, availability during the

day a plus. Apply in person at Tobacco Haus

in the Marketplace Shopping Center.

The New Braunels Auction Co.

& Gruene Flea Antique Mall

Seeking a variety o seasonal tempto hire part time and/or ull time workers.

Estate sale set up, sales operation, retail,

urniture movers, etc. Great un work

environment, part time, ex and ull time

depending on ability, availability and

experience. Great student and summer

jobs! Apply in person at 311 FM306

Bldg.#2 New Braunels TX 78130.

Millennium Medi-Spa

Large, busy spa is looking or a registered

esthetician and a registered massage therapist

or ull or part-time employment. Must be

dependable and energetic. Please call (830)

608-9989 or more inormation.

AAA Bail Bonds II

Seeking Ofce Sta/On-Call BondAgent. Please e-mail aaabailkeely@austin.

rr.com or more ino.

Mountain Breeze Campground

We are hiring ofce and bar sta

starting now through the summer. Part-time

and ull-time positions. Must have a great

attitude, because attitude is everything! Apply

at Mountain Breeze Camp on River Rd or call830 964 2484 ext 0.

OurBlok

Are you a connector? We are looking or

two proessional representatives to help in the

area. Salary, commission and bonuses oered

based on experience and perormance. I you

like people and have a service mentality you

may be the perect ft. Past sales experiencehelpul but not mandatory. Email your resume

to [email protected] to discuss urther.

Alpine Haus

We have one position or experienced

waitsta in our upscale restaurant. Knowledgeo German language and culture a plus. We

are also hiring kitchen prep and dishwasher.

Must be reliable. Apply in person rom 3 PM

to 4:30 PM Thursday through Sunday at 251

S. Seguin Ave. New Braunels.

Camp Huaco Springs

Its that time o year again! Were

hiring or the reservation ofce at CampHuaco Springs. Must work the 3 major

holiday weekends and have excellent phone

etiquette. Were super exible with hours -

part time or ull time, and we can schedule

around your needs. Seasonal work only.

Please stop by the RV Store on River Road to

pick up an application. We would really like

to hire some Scooter Store employees that

have been laid o!

Mile High Yard Works is hiring ull

or part time workers or un work outside!

Kick the cubical! We are looking or Labor

and a delivery driver. Contact Tommy at

830-626-3455.

Eclipse Window Tinting is now hiring.

Contact Aaron at 830-237-2267.

M4 Cleaning Services is hiring 6

housekeepers or residential & commercial

cleaning in New Braunels. $9.00/hour. Call

210-386-6429

Elite Auto Sounds is hiring or the

position o sign spinner. Seeking resh aces

and enthusiastic personalities. Hourly +bonuses. Apply in person @ Rueckle & 35.

Got a nice opening? Well help fll it,

FREE! Send your job listings to gigs@

txcitizen.com. Hire ormer Scooter Store

employees, and well pay you o with

up to $1,500 in advertising credit!

HELP WANTED

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7/28/2019 TX Citizen 6.13.13

6/166 AD SALES 830.483.9563

CONCERT IN THE PARK

This Week, June 13: Arms Length hits the Landa Park Dance Slab at 7:30pm.

Next Week: South Texas Review. Admission is FREE!

LOUD PIPES CONTEST

Got a loud bike? Or working ears? Come on out to Gruene Harley-Davidsonor the Loud Pipes contest! Event starts at 11am, with lunch, live music andprizes rom noon until 2pm. Saturday, June 15.

TEXAS CAJUN DANCE

Cher La-bas Texas Cajun Band will be playing traditional Cajun music atthe Geronimo VFW Post 8456, 6808 N Highway 123, Geronimo on Saturday,

June 15, 8 PM-Midnight. $8 donation, beneft or the VFW. Kitchen openat 6 PM with great Cajun oods! Always smoke ree open to everyone.Reservations/Ino 830-379-1971.

BENEFIT FOR WEST, TX

Spend Fathers Day at the River Road Ice House with live music, silentauction, live auction, and BBQ, all to beneft the West Fire Department and EMS.

All day, Sunday, June 16.

COUNTRY DANCE

Live, classic country music or the VFWs Veterans Programs at the GeronimoVFW, 6808 N Highway 123, Geronimo, on June 16, 3 - 6:30 pm. Open seating.$7 donation. Hall is smoke ree and open to all. Ino 830-303-9903.

OK TORNADO RELIEF RIDEOklahoma Tornado Relie Git Card Drive and Ride Donate git cards rom

any national chain to help out OKs tornado victims (by June 22), and ride withGruene Harley sta to Moore, OK, to deliver the goods on June 23!

MISS TX CITIZEN

LIVE competition at the Phoenix Saloon, Friday, June 28 at 8pm. One luckywinner will take home the coveted TX Citizen tiara and sash, as well as a massiveamount o prizes, at the First Annual Miss TX Citizen Contest, sponsored by ThePhoenix Saloon, Budweiser, The Landmark Salon and Spa, Terrifc Massage andSpa, The Perky Peacock and Lisa on Location! Admission is FREE, with 100% oall unds donated at the event to beneft New Braunels Puppy Playland!

VOTE FOR PUPPY PLAYLAND

Through July 31: New Braunels Puppy Playland (NBPP) is now a fnalist in a the

Bark or Your Park contest sponsored by PetSae, a pet-products frm! One luckycity will win the grand prize to spend on its dog park, and our other cities will receive$25,000. New Braunels-area residents are asked to go online and bark (vote) orunding or their citys dog park. To vote, visit www.petsae.net. Each voter may castTWO ballots daily, (once via Facebook and once through the PetSae website), sobark early and bark oten! For inormation on the uture dog park in New Braunelsand on the Bark or Your Park contest, go to www.newbraunelsdogpark.com.

CALENDAR

GOT AN EVENT TO PROMOTE?Well get the word out or you!

Send the details to [email protected].

BAD DESIGN IS

YOUR BUSINESSCall now. You cant afford not to.logos business cards brochures p hoto editing web design advertisements

CITIZEN

830.542.9134 [email protected]

HAPPY COWB A R & G R I L L

9103 FM 1102

San Braunfels (Hunter, TX)

512.353.0030

Kitchen Hours:

Tues-Fri11:30am-10pm

Sat & Sun2pm-10pm

The Udder Place in Hunter, TX

Live at The Happy Cow

FEATURING:

Iron Maidens Blaze Bayley,

The Scorpions James Kottak,

and John Moyer of Disturbed

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their four US dates this year!

Sunday, June 23 @ 4pm

$20 tickets on sale now!

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Specializing inBelgian Beers

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7/28/2019 TX Citizen 6.13.13

7/16TXCITIZEN.COM 7

Bualo Wings & RingsKaraokeTuesday Nights, 7:30pm

TriviaThursday Night, 7:30pm

Dirtys Bar & QKaraokeWednesday Nights, 8pmSaturday Nights, 9pm

Faust Brewing CompanyTriviaThursday Nights, 8pm

Freiheit Country StoreKaraokeFriday Nights, 8pm

TriviaSaturday Nights, 8pm

Happy CowKaraokeThursday Nights, 8pm

TriviaWednesday Nights, 8pm

Pool TournamentMonday Nights, 8pm

Old Ice House

KaraokeThursdays, Sundays

DJWednesdays, Fridays, Saturdays

Phoenix SaloonKaraokeThursday Nights

Prickly Pear Lounge

KaraokeThursdays, Saturdays

DJ KCFridays

The Watering Hole SaloonKaraokeThursdays

Country Dance LessonsFridays, 7:30pm - FREEDJFridays, Saturdays

diversionsCactus Jacks Baby Back Ribs

On the Tenth Day God Made Pork Reeeebs! Ribs have always been a summertime staple

in our amily, and rom spare ribs to baby back, my amily would love it when I made them.Many backyard warriors are in a constant struggle to fnd a way to cook the ribs so that

they were tender enough that the bone would slip clean out. Im oten asked, Big Ern, we

ound a good rib recipe, but they come out under, over or dry. In response, I started a quest to

discover the easiest way to make a good backyard slab o baby back ribs.

First things frst, you need to buy good quality meat. Ive ound that we really like the ribs

rom HEB, or one o our local meat providers, aka Granzins. There certainly isnt much meat

on baby backs, but they always turn out tender.

Next you need to prep the meat. Depending on where you bought it you may need to remove

the membrane o the back o the slab beore you apply your BBQ rub (recipe below). A secret hint

to making sure your rub stays on the meat is to wet them down with water and then quickly rub them

down - the water helps rehydrate all the dry spices and makes it easier or them to penetrate the meat.

Always season your ribs thirty minutes to an hour beore cooking them to allow the seasoning

to avor the meat. As or your pit, you want your smoker at 250 degrees. Here is the key part

its called the 2+2 method. Smoke two hours, wrap in oil or two hours its that easy.

For the frst two hours smoke I tend to use a ruit wood like Westerns Apple or Peach

(westernbbqproducts.com). Ater smoking or two hours, I wrap each slab o ribs with oil. I like

to use two cups o apple juice to help steam the ribs and retain the moisture while wrapped.

Put them back in the smoker or oven or an additional two hours at 250. When the two

hours are done unwrap the ribs, slather on some o Cactus Jacks BBQ sauce (recipe below) andlet the slab sit on a cutting board or 15 minutes to allow the juices and meat to relax. Slice the

ribs and watch your amily and riends eat em up!

Cactus Jacks BBQ Sauce 1tbsofsalt 1tbsofblackpepper 11tbsgarlicpowder

4cupsHeadCountryorDaiglesSweetnSourSauce 1cupbrownsugar

cupyellowmustard 1tbsptomatopaste 2tsponionpowder

1tspWorcestershiresauce

Combine everything in a pot and place on stove at low heat or ten minutes.

Burnt Bean Co Pork Rub 1cupgranulatedgarlic 1cupgranulatedonion

1cupofseasoningsalt

1cupofblackpepper 1cupofbrownsugar 1cupofpaprika cupofchilipowder

1cupofkoshersalt cupofdriedoregano

cupofdrymustard

Ernest Servantes is the celebrity che behind The Burnt Bean Company, a competitive

BBQ team based in New Braunels. His fre-and-meat-based skill set

earned him national recognition when he captured the 2012Grill Masters Championship, and the accompanying $50,000

grand prize, on the Food Networks Chopped.

Ernest Servantes lS

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1390 McQueeney Rd, New Braunfels830-625-0045 or wateringholesaloon.com

Become a friend @ facebook.com/theholenb

Est. 1986

7/28/2019 TX Citizen 6.13.13

8/168 AD SALES 830.483.9563

Thu 6.13Black Whale Pub

TBA9pm

Dirtys Bar & QSteven Roloff & Friends8pm

Freiheit Country StoreOpen Mic w/ Fallon Franklin6pm

Oma Gruenes Secret GartenJam Night6pm

Phoenix SaloonAdam Johnson5pm

Rileys TavernZakk Goodman9pm

AJs Ale HouseRock & Roll Sing Along Piano Bar Show9pm

Billys Ice HouseCyrus Jamesw/ Hooper Brothers5pm

Black & Tan PubMcClure, Sayle Bot9pm

Cheatham Street WarehouseAshley Monical9pm

Concerts in the ParkArms Length7:30pm

Gruene HallChubby Knuckle Choir7pm

The Pour HausNick Lawrence7pm

Tavern in the GrueneRockadillos8pm

Triple CrownIke Eichenberg6pmChief Fuzzer, Copper Gamins, 8 BallAitken10pm

Uptown Piano BarAshley Stone8pm

Vineyard at GrueneISIS Only Show7pm

Vino en VerdeThe Media Writes7pm

Fri 6.14Dirtys Bar & QJames Pardo Band8pm

The Happy CowKim Meeks & Her Bad Habits8pm

Oma Gruenes Secret GartenMC & the Mystyx6:30pm

Phoenix SaloonThe Groove Hounds5pmBlackwater Revivalw/ True Audio Outland

8pm

Rileys TavernModern Don Juans9pm


Billys Ice HouseJustin van Sant Band8pm

Black & Tan PubDollFace7pm

Bubbas Big DeckEmpty Handed Vagabonds6pm

Cheatham Street WarehouseBill Carterw/ Grant Ewing & Colin Colby9pm

Gruene HallLarry Joe Taylor8pm, $12

The Pour HausStreamline Bikini EventBrent Woods Trio9pm

River Road Ice HouseMidnight River Choir8pm

Tavern in the Gruene3 Man Front8pm

Triple CrownRabb Rodriguez6pmMajor Major Major, Grow!,Taylor Louis & the Lifeguards,The Canvas People9pm

Uptown Piano BarBarry Adams8pm

Vineyard at GrueneBJ Thibodeaux

7pm

Vino en VerdeBrett Clinew/ KennCentric8pm

Sat 6.15Black Whale Pub

TBA9pm

Freiheit Country StoreJason Allenw/ Breeland Angel8pm

The Happy CowBeltsander Races3pmHell Camino & Perfect StrangersFollowing Races

Oma Gruenes Secret GartenThe Phillip Stevens Band1pmThe Texas Saints6pm

Phoenix Saloongo to stereow/ The Dirty Heat9pm

Rileys TavernRoy Heinrich & the Pickups9pm


Baja BBQ ShackGeorge DeVore8pm

Billys Ice HouseWally West & Them Lostbound Souls8pm

Black & Tan PubSkies of Fire10pm

Bubbas Big DeckRoclaholics3pm

Cheatham Street WarehouseK Phillips & the Concho Pearls9pm

Geronimo VFW 8456Fundraiser DanceCher La-bas Texas Cajun BandCajun Food @ 6, Music @ 8

Gruene HallWheeler Brothersw/ Whiskey Shivers9pm, $12

The Pour HausBo Brumblew/ The Groove Hounds9pm

River Road Ice HouseJon Wolfe8pm

Tavern in the GrueneBrian Keane, $59pm

Triple CrownLethal Smut, Sasquatch Holler,Motel Ball Band, The Christophers,Molly J Hayes8pm

Uptown Piano BarJohn Maclean

8pmVino en Verde

Yesenia Trio9pm

Sun 6.16Lone Star Float House & Grill

The Grant Ewing Bandw/ Victor Holk7pm

Oma Gruenes Secret GartenThe Blues Buzzards2pm

Phoenix SaloonAl Bar low2pmDukes of York7pm

Baja BBQ ShackThe Vagabonds7pm

Black & Tan PubMax & Friends9pm

BROUGHT TO YOU BY

7/28/2019 TX Citizen 6.13.13

9/16TXCITIZEN.COM 9

Billys Ice HouseDan Adams8pm

Geronimo VFW 8456Sunday DancePaul Sanchez & Wrangler Country BandFood @ 2, Music @ 3

Gruene HallRuby Jane Smith12:30pmShinyribs5pm

The Pour HausLarry Martin Sweeney & Friendsw/ Brian Pounds6pm

River Road Ice HousePray for West BenefitSteven Vee & Kori Free, +15 More12pm

Mon 6.17Rileys Tavern

Songwriter Showcase

w/ John WhippleBillys Ice House

David Stewart Band8pm

Cheatham Street WarehouseHaley Cole, Bo Bramble,Jordan York, Tony Taylor9pm

Gruene HallGordy Quist Trio7pm

The Pour HausPaul Rogers7pm

Tavern in the Gruene60 Cycle Hum8pmTriple Crowneverydays a holyday6pmChief & TheDoomsdayDevice9pm

Tues 6.18The Happy Cow

Open Jamw/ Uncle Daddy8pm

Rileys TavernSteven Roloff9pm

Watering Hole SaloonBuddy Boy8:30pm

Billys Ice HouseMoonlight Social8pm

Cheatham Street WarehouseBlue Water Highway9pm

Gruene HallTwo Tons Tuesday8:30pm, $5

The Pour HausOpen Mic w/ Jon Magill8pm

Tavern in the GrueneRoots & Branches of Americana

7pmThe Blooms9:30pm

Triple CrownDaniel Phipps6pmUnsurpassed Profit, Tramps on Lean,Evils of Alcohol, We Hate Each Other9pm

Wed 6.19

Bualo Wings & RingsSteven Roloff & Friends7:30pm

Phoenix SaloonChris King & the Liberators8pm

Rileys TavernMichael Fletcher9pm

Watering Hole SaloonAllan Goodman8:30pm

Baja BBQ ShackPickers Circle7pm

Cheatham Street WarehouseKent Finlays Songwriters Circle9pm

Gruene HallBill Kirchen & Too Much Fun

7pm

The Pour HausScott Wiggins8pm

Triple CrownEmily Herring6pmFire in the Pines, Lonesome Heroes,Los Libertados9pm

Uptown Piano BarJohn Maclean8pm

BROUGHT TO YOU BY

830-626-9464(WING)

983 LOOP 337 NEW BRAUNFELS, TX 78130

Buy 1 Meal &2 Beverages & receive

2nd Meal 50% offDine-in only, limit one per customer.Limit one coupon per table. Not valid

with any other offers. Maximum discount $6.00.Valid at New Braunfels and San Antonio Location Only.

Expires 9/30/13

GREAT FOOD& GREAT ENTERTAINMENT

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7/28/2019 TX Citizen 6.13.13

10/1610 AD SALES 830.483.9563

Fri 6.14Antones

Bob Schneider

w/ Water & Rust, The Chorderoys

8pm, $18-$150

The Continental ClubClub Lineup:

The Blues Specialists, 6:30pm

Mercy Brothers

w/ The Preservation, Nicholas Ginbey10pm, $10

Gallery Lineup:

The Robert Kraft Trio, 8:30pm

The Mike Flanigin Trio, 10:30pm, $5

Cowboys DancehallMark Chestnut

8pm, $10 21+, $20 18+

Floores Country StoreBrandon Rhyderw/ Aaron Einhouse

8pm, $15

Hooligans Bar & GrillJames Delgado & Friends

7:30pm, $5

Red Eyed FlyCrashkill Six

w/ The Organics, Ghosts of Dixie, Knael8:30pm, Inside

Snake Skin Prison

w/ Powderburn, Wellborn Rd,

Capture Theory

9pm, Outside

Sams Burger JointSoul Track Mind

w/ Big Britches

8pm, $10-$50Stetson Bar

TBA

9:30pm

Stubbs BBQThe Reynolds Number

w/ The Lonely Hunter, Antiques, Aaron Peace

8pm, Inside, $5

Thirsty Horse SaloonStraight Shot8pm

Sat 6.15

AntonesHoney Island Swamp Band

w/ Mingo Fishtrap, Canned Beets

8pm, $12-$100

The Continental ClubClub Lineup:

Cornell Hurd Band, 3:30pm

Temeca Jones

w/ KP & the Boom Boom

10pm, $10

Gallery Lineup:

Scarlett Olson, 8:30pm

The Mike Flanigin Trio, 10:30, $5

Floores Country StoreBleu Edmondson

w/ Javi Garcia

8pm, $12

Hooligans Bar & GrillRock Star Riot

8:30pm, $4

Red Eyed FlyPulse Rate Zero

w/ Black Thorn Halo, 3Denied, Mile of

Dirt, Exit the Sun

8pm, Outside

Sams Burger JointGuy Forsyth

8pm, $12-$60

Stetson BarTBA

9:30pm

Stubbs BBQHenry & the Invisiblesw/ Sheer Khan, Kabomba

9pm, Inside, $8

Thirsty Horse SaloonJay Eric Band

8pm

OUTOF

Big movies, ruined.

The InternshipOwen Wilson and that guy rom

Swingers lose their jobs and become internsat Google. They help a bunch o techies fndthemselves, and in the end they all get jobsat Google. The eros-obsessed Indian chick isa virgin and the guy with the headphones

turns out to be in charge o Google Search.

Ater EarthM. Night Shyamalan directed this

Fresh Prince vehicle, and like all M. NightShyamalan flms, it has a completelyunpredictable, ultra-surprising twist ending.Which in this case is the act that the FreshPrince brought one o those monsters thatkilled his daughter to Earth with him on

purpose as a training device or his son tolearn to conquer ear or die trying. Doh!His son lives, by the way.

Start Trek: Into DarknessKhan gets thawed out by Stareet.

Robocop turns out to be a super bad guy.Khan kills Kirk, instead o Spock, this timearound. McCoy brings Kirk back to lie withthe aid o a Tribble. Robocop dies and Khangets rerozen.

Fast and Furious VIOur anti-heroes keep a plane rom

taking o by tying it to their bitchin cars.Vin Diesel and The Rock live, but Han getskilled ater the credits. So stay until aterthe credits.

The Great GatsbyGatsby gets shot and hardly anybody

shows up to his uneral.

Java HeatScary bad-guy Mickey Rourke totally

gets killed. They make you think hes goingto get away, but then he gets killed.

Iron Man IIIBen Kingsley isnt the bad guy ater all

he just plays one on TV. The real bad guyis that reak that shows up in the elevator atthe beginning o the movie. Pepper lives, andStark blows all the suits up.

THIS WEEK IN

SPOILERS

BiergartenFeaturing Guadalupe Brewing Co. Beers

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Wedding Facilities Available

Live Music Every Night

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BiergartenFeaturing Guadalupe Brewing Co. Beers

Special Events Monthly

Fresh HandmadeSandwiches and Salsa

Private Parties- Catering

Wedding Facilities Available

Live Music Every Night

Never a Cover

Kid & Pet Friendly

1263 Gruene Road 830.625.1045

Call for Hours!

omalovesyou.com

June 13@ 6 Jam Night

June14@ 6:30 MC & The Mystyx

June 15@ 1 The Phillip Stevens Band

@ 6 The Texas Saints

June 16@ 2 The Blues Buzzards

June20@ 6 Jam Night

Upcoming Shows:

See you there!

BESTOF THE

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2013

Double Winner!Best Live Music Venue

& Best Biergarten

ADVICE FROM

UNCLE ESEL

7/28/2019 TX Citizen 6.13.13

11/16

Uncle Esel,

Im sitting at the New Braunels

post oce waiting or it to open and

Im thinking... Tis place sure could use

some sprucing up! A little LC is very

much needed here.

Te bushes seriously need trimming

and all the weeds are running rampant.

Id love to see some pretty owers

around. Inside is kinda dirty, I Wonder

when was the last time it had a good

cleaning? Tere are nger prints on

every seeable surace. Te displays are

all in disarray like Rosss Dress For Less

ater the Holidays.

Where did the German pride go in

our post oce?

ammy

Dear Tammy,

Let me clear up frst that Germans are not

responsible or creating the concept o post

ofces and mail. The Romans are largely

responsible or the development o a postal

system that more closely resembles ours, but

Uncle Esel ound it most interesting that the

Persians created the earliest mail system

that, in an ironic twist, was used to gather

intelligence and to pass out tax notices and

bills. My how things have changed.

Strangely enough, as Uncle Esel

has mentioned numerous times about the

government spying on your emails and such,

it now comes out that each and every mail

item is photographed and can be used to

gather intelligence and put angry wives in jailor sending Ricin laced letters to the President.

But on to your question, Tammy. Uncle

Esel has used some o his intelligence

gathering abilities o his own and ound that

the Post Ofce has been without custodian

care or about a month, and has a new

custodian hired and starting soon. O course,

you probably saw that on your own Facebook

post rom one o your riends, and it was sure

nice o her to do that ino gathering or me.Please thank her on my behal.

I would tell you that you should keep a

sharp eye out because the USPS has been

hemorrhaging or decades and they cant

seem to fnd a way to proft. Perhaps you

and some riends should organize something

like the public librarys Friends o the

Library. I am surprised that theyve actually

hired someone with the sequester scare romObama, because you know how Republicans

hate clean parking lots.

By the way, the Swedes are considered

the cleanest in Europe.

Love, K

Uncle Esel,

What are your thoughts on the river

access ee that our Mayor seems to be

targeting or next year? Are we all going

to pay or the Citys mistakes or am I

looking too deeply into this? Ater all,

the City has never charged or this or

many years, and now the container ban

has reduced the river problems and the

higher costs. Tis can be seen in the lower

number o arrests and citations, removal

o the crowds, no longer the need to

close streets around the Schlitterbahn,

reduced overtime requirements o the

Police Department etc.

Should local residents be paying to

use the river? Tat is what the ee is or

according to the Mayor during her Monday

with the Mayor on KGNB. (Why I listen to

that, I really dont know!) However they

are saying that they are charging to have

access to the river through the parks.

Is this to protect local river property

owners rom paying to use the river?

So is charging or use o the parks but

using this money to ofset river related

costs legal? Hell my property value just

jumped 6% this year so the city can collect

more taxes. It eels like the suggested

prostitution that I never personally

witnessed has let the river and now the

local residents are getting raped!

I spend a lot o time on the Comal

river over weekends with a Kayak, and

noticed that there are very ew tourists

on the river using tubing companies.

You can always see the locals as by the

type o tubes they use. Clearly more

than 60% is by regular visitors who have

invested in their own personal tubes.

I have also noticed over the past two

years that the Rockin R exit is emptywith very ew tubers rom Rockin R

on the river. I see many exas ubes

and some rom Landa Falls. Tis is the

opposite rom 2009, 2010 & 2011.

So my belie is that local tubing

companies are, where possible, taking

the tubers outside o town where there is

no container ban. So now the city is not

collecting as much as they should on the

$1.50 taxes rom every tuber using thetubing companies. No wonder the City

Council is already jumping up and down

to start workshops on getting the private

tubers and hence mostly locals to pay

taxes to use the river.

Higher rivers costs created by our

City and lower collections must be

hurting! Now the locals must pay as the

City is no longer making good on the

business o tourism.

Paul G.

Dear Paul,

Well, youre kind o right about

customers going out o town, but its not the

tubing companies taking them. Ater the ban,

many people showed up like they had or

many years, and ound out that it was a hugehassle to bring their business here. Many o

them actually said that the experience was

not worth it and they would go elsewhere,

and this year many o them are.

San Marcos is booming with new

business that we sent them, and no that

generation baseball player (he looks like the

old produce guy at HEB) is going to inuence

them. Meanwhile the city keeps spending and

spending even though the mayor said two yearsago that a bold decision would fnally fx many

problems. Now ask her to show you the budget.

The idea that the city wants to tax me to

get in a river rom a public place is just commie

talk. This actually would be a walking tax as in

a tax or the honor o walking across a public

park. Look, city people, last time we checked, its

public land and a navigable river and there is no

authority to tax that. Losing is stupid, but losing

twice is just brain-dead, awe-inspiring stupid.

So to be straight, you think the mayor

wants to tax a long time New Braunels

industry that is a part o our lie and heritage

going back generations because it results in

trash in the river, drunken behavior, urine in

the river and on the banks, trafc congestion,

parking problems, law enorcement issues,

loud music, an occasional indecent exposure,

medical calls, crowds, and more? Well, Imup or that discussion, so when is the next

Wurstest Association meeting? (See what I

did there?)

Love, K

TXCITIZEN.COM 11

Uncle K. Esel is a lietime resident o our air city, and iswell known or his sage advice on a wide range o topics.I you fnd yoursel perplexed with no one to turn to,send your question to Uncle Esel at: [email protected]. Be sure to write Question or Uncle Esel in thesubject line o your email.

UNCLE ESEL

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2013

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MOST WANTEDCOMAL COUNTY S

ASK A MEXICAN!!

7/28/2019 TX Citizen 6.13.13

12/1612 AD SALES 830.483.9563

MOST WANTED

$200REWARD

ARIZA,

AUGUSTINE

Male 508 180 lbsDOB: 06/10/1953CHARGE: Motion to

revoke probation forengaging in organized

criminal activity

ARRIAGA, JOSE

HILDEBERTO

Male 508 150 lbsDOB: 12/18/1976

CHARGE:

Unauthorized use ofvehicle and evading

arrest with a vehicle

MARTINEZ,

BENITO III

Male 510 170 lbs

DOB: 01/10/1984

CHARGE: Motion to

revoke probation forburglary of habitation

CARTER,NATHANIEL

ANDREWMale 607 210 lbsDOB: 10/03/1987CHARGE: Two counts-

Motion to proceed withadjudication forpossession of marijuana

ARELLANO,

OMAR DANIEL

Male 506 265 lbs

DOB: 07/04/1980

CHARGE: Evadingarrest detection

with vehicle

PEINADO,

PEDRO RAMIREZ

Male 508 200 lbsDOB: 09/27/1978

CHARGE: Driving whileintoxicated with child

under 15 yoa

SATTERFIELD,

WILLIAM DALEMale 602 200 lbs

DOB: 06/06/1952CHARGE: Possession

of a controlledsubstance and bailjumping and fail to

appear felony

VILLARREAL-TREVINO,

JULIO CESARMale 511 160 lbs

DOB: 07/13/1977CHARGE: Motion to

revoke probation forunauthorized use

of a vehicle

WHEELER,

MICHAEL WAYNE

Male 508 160 lbs

DOB: 11/06/1966

CHARGE: Theft of

property over $1500under $20,000

VAZQUEZ,

ALFREDO RICO

Male 503 156 lbs

DOB: 09/23/1956

CHARGE: Possession

of a controlled

substance

The names listed have been released in accordance with the Texas Public Information Act Code 552.001 st.seq.annotatedPublic Record and Information disclosure statues. This is a true and accurate account as of Monday, June 3, 2013 at1:42 pm and may not be current by the time it is read. Do not try to apprehend anyone. For anonymous tips and rewards,

please contact Crime Stoppers at: 24-Hour Phone number 830.620.3400; Mon-Fri 8am to 5pm 830.620.3411. These are

listings of criminal warrants with the Sheriffs Office and are not indicative of guilt or innocence. Officers are to verify thestatus of each warrant prior to making an arrest. Any person is innocent of wrongdoing unless proven guilty in a court of law.

FOR INFORMATION LEADING TO THE ARREST OF COMAL

COUNTYS MOST WANTED.Callers will remain anonymous.

830.620.3400 - 24-Hour

830.620.3411 - Mon-Fri 8am to 5pm

By Gustavo Arellano

Dear Mexican: In Philadelphia,

where I live, there are three Spanish-

language stations on regular broadcast

television. None o them ofer English

subtitles. I bet plenty o people oall heritages would like to check out

Spanish language television, or the news

rom Central America or whatever, i we

could get subtitles.

I called one o the stations

(Univisin) about it but they said

there are no plans to oer subtitles.

Channel 35 here in Philly has Chinese,

Korean, German, Russian, Polish,and Italian programming, all with

subtitles. Your thoughts?

Broad Street Broad

Dear Gabacha: Your letter has been in

my Ask a Mexican! archives or so long that

your question is no longer needed but Ill

todavia answer it because it allows me to raise

a great point.Last year, Univisin announced it was

going to oer English-language captions or

most o its telenovelas and even some news

programs, although it didnt necessarily

have gabachos in mind. Rather, the move

was prompted by Univisins realization

that assimilation is inevitable in this

country, and that i it didnt acknowledge

that English is the ultimate destiny or every

Mexican in el Norte, it would become as

relevant to the Mexican experience as

canned tortillas.

Its not a new tale the ethnic press

has long had a vibrant place in American

letters (the frst Spanish-language newspaper

published in los Estados Unidos goes back to

the early 19th century), but the only ones thatsurvive more than a couple o generations

are those that understand theyre only

temporary phenomena, and that their days

are numbered.

Thats why this inernal column also

has a shel lie: when the Reconquista is

inally complete, I will turn the burro over

to my gabacho intern so he can explain

Americas largest and whiniest minority to

the ruling Mexi class.

Dear Mexican: Im a gringa rom

Iowa and Ive been dating my Mexican

boyriend or about three months

now. He knows Im rom a background

thats as white as they come, since Im

German-Norwegian mix. But he ell in

love with me because I think I shockedhim. See, I speak Spanish, I listen to

Spanish music, and we even met at a club

or cumbia and bachata dancing. And

he is puro mexicano with no English. He

always calls me his sexi gringa/guera

pero, lately, hes been calling me his

mexicana tambin when weve gone out

dancing or or drinks. Why is that?

Melodia Conusa

Dear Conused Melody Gabacha:

Because he loves you youre no longer just

a gabacha to screw, but a mujer ready to meet

the amilia. Better make sure you incorporate

chorizo into your hotdish and Im not talking

about your hoo-hah.

CONFIDENIAL O the East LosAngeles College amilia. Ustedes graciously

invited me to be your commencement speaker

earlier this year and I stood ustedes up last

week through a calendar error all my own. I

prousely apologize to everyone at East Los

Angeles College or insulting you in this way

you deserve so much better., Perdname, Proe

Godinez, my ellow Chapman University alum,

who recommended me as the commencementspeaker in the frst place. A big ol :-( to the

ELAC student on Twitter who asked a very

simple question: Donde estas, buey?

I will apologize or this or the rest o my

lie, I will never be able to live this mistake

down, and I will do everything possible to

try and make this up to ustedes. For starters,

gentle readers: ELAC is an amazing institution

that has long hosted a book estival (wheretheyve graciously invited me in the past) and

has many amazing teachers and students.

Also? Im the biggest pendejo in the world

but ustedes knew that already!

Ask the Mexican at [email protected], be his an on Facebook,ollow him on Twitter @gustavoarellano

or ask him a video question at youtube.com/askamexicano!

ASK A MEXICAN!!

THE

7/28/2019 TX Citizen 6.13.13

13/16TXCITIZEN.COM 13

Magic Hats #9 Not-Quite-Pale-Ale

So ater last weeks unpleasantness with the

wolves and the hot dog highway and other

such insanity-ueled ramblings, I asked my

most normal co-workers how I could open

an article in a normal way. Ater a ew ideas

being shot down or being too, shall we say,

hard to grasp, I decided on having a normal

conversation about ruit. Ater all, the beer Im

reviewing is (spoiler alert) a ruit beer.

Lets start with some acts. Did you know

peaches, apricots, and plums are all related?

Its entirely true. Chiquita Banana used tobe an actual anthropomorphic banana with

a ruit hat beore being replaced by a lady

with a ruit (and not animal/people) hat. And

to settle the old debate: YES: limes, lemons,

oranges, and graperuits are all picked rom

the same tree at dierent times in the season

as they ripen. Look it up, smart guy. I didnt.

Im being told that one o those things is

not actually true. Maybe this article is spinning

towards the Twilight Zone, so lets get back on

topic. Magic Hat Brewing Company is based

in Vermont, but has been picking up momentum

everywhere west o the Mississippi as well.

This may or may not have something to do

with being bought by NAB, owners o Labatt,

Seagrams Coolers, and Pyramid. Personally,

Im glad or it. I know Magic Hat isnt on the

snob short-list, but I think its a good head and

shoulders above the grocery store tier beers.

#9 Not-Quite-Pale-Ale is Magic Hats

agship year-round beer. Youll fnd it more

in bottles, but Ive seen it on tap at some

requency. The one I had was on tap, a pint,and Ive heard that it is notably better on tap.

I you see it, go or it and compare the two.

It pours a beautiul clear pale orange/

amber color. Theres a bit o a white, wet

head that retains pretty well or such a light

beer. The nose is all apricot, maybe a bit

o grain. I cant fnd an explicit source, but

I think its a badly kept secret that the ruit

component is either partially or entirely

apricot. Trust me, you can guess it, perhaps

not rom the nose but defnitely rom the taste.

Oddly enough, the frst thing I noticed

rom this was the moutheel. Its pretty thin,

thinner than I was expecting rom anything

that wasnt macro-brew clear and yellow.

Frankly, I ound that pretty nice and rereshing.

I just cant get that whet your whistle eel

with anything too thick. The taste itsel was

similarly rereshing. Once again, plenty o

apricot, along with some citrus tang rom

the hops. The little hoppiness was a great

compliment to the sweet ruit avor, keeping it

entirely in check rom being too cloying.There was also a good balance with pale

malts, just enough to orm a good backing

and tone down any sharp edges. It would

be a good not quite pale ale, even without

the apricot, but adding it creates one unique

and rereshing brew. An odd thought I had

while drinking this was that it would be quite

interesting to have it soured, or blended with

a tart lambic. An interesting prospect, and

something I may have to think about trying.

WITH MITCHELL WILBURN

Mitchell Wilburn is our resident bon vivant and arbiter o all things

barley. Send your beer questions to him at [email protected].

7/28/2019 TX Citizen 6.13.13

14/1614 TX CITIZEN14 AD SALES 830.483.9563

HWY 46, 2 MILES PAST CLEAR SPRINGS

Pares/[email protected] 830-379-8883

THURSDAY JUNE 13Steven Roloff & Friends 8pm

*RIB NIGHT!*

FRIDAY JUNE 14James Pardo Band 8pm

SATURDAY JUNE 15GForce Karaoke 9pm

WEDNESDAY JUNE 19GForce Karaoke 8pm

*STEAK NIGHT!*

PRICKLY PEAR

LOUNGE

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FRIDAYParty with DJ KC & the Pear Crowd

SATURDAYKool Karaoke w/Johnny V!

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1051 N. IH-35 | 830-625-8017

LONE STARFloat House & Grill

830.907.3866 7430 River Rd. New Braunfels TX 78132(just past the 2nd crossing)

CANS ALWAYS WELCOME!

Now open EVERYDAYfor lunch, dinner and tubing!

FREE day parking, Monday through Friday!

Get out and enjoy the Guadalupe!

The TX Citizen's own Pitmaster, Ernest Servantes, tied for Grand Champion at lastweekend's state BBQ championship in Lockhart, placing 1st in ribs, 2nd in brisket,

and 3rd in chicken. The tie was broken in the brisket category, with the Chopped:

Grill Masters champion narrowly missing the top spot.

Check out Big Ern this Saturday at Freiheit Country Store's BBQ cookoff, where

he'll make another run at greatness, and on page 7 of this issue of the TX Citizen,

where he'll teach you the secret to making fall-off-the-bone baby back ribs!

Chairs were ying as Block Buster Wrestling invaded the friendly connes of Alpha

CrossFit last Sunday, with luchadore Santana Jr (below, middle) coming out on top

in a three-way battle, and taking home a belt, in his rst hardcore match. #brutal

7/28/2019 TX Citizen 6.13.13

15/16TXCITIZEN.COM 15

A North Country Yankee in Prince Solms Court

Part II: Texas Food

Im wild about ood. Calling me a oodie would

be a discredit to those o more discerning tastes,

though. I dont claim any sort o impeccable

palate. My interest in ood is much broader,

and to be air, Im much more likely to fnd

something to my taste in a local greasy spoon

than I am in a fve-star restaurant. Because o

this, my trip to Texas needed to include ample

opportunities to sample the local cuisine. Mike

Reynolds started me out right with a trip to In-

N-Out in Dallas, but it was hardly the last o

my culinary adventures.

There is no question that New Braunels is

a meat-centric place. I suspect this is common to

the region. Each morning when I got up, the frst

stop would be some place to get breakast tacos.

Breakast tacos are an interesting concept

in and o themselves. Essentially, a breakast

taco is what most o the rest o the country calls

breakast, wrapped in a tortilla. Generally

delicious, the tacos vary rom one location to

the next and most everyone oers some level

o a-la-carte variety. A trips to El Nopolito

provides all the sustenance a growing boy

like me needs in the morning: my eggs, meat,

the occasional vegetable all provided on a

conveniently edible plate.

I, no doubt, raised some eyebrows by

tucking in the bottom o my taco to make a

makeshit burrito, but everyone was elegant

enough not to gasp or point. During my

occasional trips to Rudys, I dispensed with the

ormalities o anything other than their delicious

varieties o meat. Its nice to have the occasion

to go straight-caveman once in a while.

I had the opportunity to visit the Gruene

Grind on several occasions as well. (Theres

that odd type o spelling again. Im told its

pronounced green.) Im rarely a coee

person, but the Grind won me over. They mix

up a mean cappuccino, with oam decorations

that astounded the bumpkin in me and a

caeine level sufcient to set my teeth on edge.

As part o my quest, I asked to be given

typically Texan delicacies whenever possible.

Clearly, and not surprisingly, the most common

response I got was beer. The country seems

awash in small-production local brews, but in

most o New Braunels, I stuck to Shiner Bock

or Lone Star; as I mentioned beore, the fner

things are oten wasted on me.

I ound an exception to this rule at the

Faust Brewing company. I didnt have time to

question the diabolical nature o the company

name with the bewitching Dana ONeil, but

she did direct me to several o the house ales,

all o which were exceptionally tasty. I missed

the chocolate and peanut butter brew by a

ew days, but perhaps it is or the best. What I

tasted was so well balanced that my imaginings

o a Reeses Peanut Butter Cup in a bottle might

be better than the reality, and as it is, I can

speculate without any ear. (Notice how I detly

try to sucker a gratis sixer out o her?)

The Faust also allowed me to try what I

am told is a Texas specialty: queso dip. With

a name like Colby, Im hardly one to shrink

away rom cheese, and the preparation o this

melted cheddar, bee and sour cream, served

with tortilla chips was both simple and tasty.

This was just one o several Texas delicacies

I tried, and all ollowed this common theme o

simplicity made delicious. I tried Frito pie at the

Spud Ranch. I cant say that the concoction is

original in any sense, but Im told that Frito pie

can only be truly appreciated i prepared in,

and eaten rom, the Fritos bag, preerably with

a spork, while at a high school ootball game.

The deep ried pickles rom Freiheit were

more surprising, but quite good with a bit o

ranch dip. Big Red soda is a puzzler is that

bubble gum I taste? The sweetness made me

worry that my teeth might rot out o my head

immediately, but I liked it nonetheless. Im told

its a southern staple, and I know rom my

travels that there are a variety o sot drinks that

have a regional appeal. I would gladly trade

the Moxie we have here or your Big Red.

No trip to Texas would be complete

without Texas Bar-B-Que. Dirtys Bar and Q

flled the bill nicely in New Braunels. When

Mike and I frst pulled up, Dirty, Chris Dausin,

was at his smoker in ront o the restaurant.

Rarely have I met a restaurateur more cordial,

and he met all o my expectations o Texas. Its

nice to know that stereotypes all live out there

somewhere. He encouraged me to try the ribs

he was working on, and though it need to be

a takeout order, I agreed.

Against all possible good sense, I

ordered the Dirty Sanchez Nachos as well.

While the name has novelty appeal, I would

suggest something else based on the images

the name evokes.

The ribs were a dream. Obviously, there

is great disagreement over the best regional

Bar-B-Que. Coming rom Vermont puts me in

the unique position o not having a dog in the

fght. Im now frmly in Texass camp. Dirtys

ribs are served with a generous side o sauce

which is perect but wholly unnecessary.

I ound mysel devouring the ribs without

concern or additional condiments.

Aside rom the Double-Double I started out

my trip with and the Del Taco I had planned or

the way home, there was one thing I was intent

on trying beore I let Texas. Ever since I let my

birthplace in Southern Caliornia, I regretted

my decision in one singular respect: Yankees

know nothing about making biscuits and gravy.

I ound the Nirvana I desired on my frst

attempt at Ca Comal. I would have assumed

that the name was some derivation o the

Spanish eat comer, o course the name is smarter

than that as the Comal River is but a stones

throw away. The river itsel most likely reers to

the southern kitchenware, and again, not eating.

When I saw biscuits and gravy on the menu

at Ca Comal, nothing else mattered. I ordered

it as a side and allowed the kitchen to bring me

something to go with it. Their choice was perect,

a skillet dish with all the typical breakast are.

(EDITORS NOTE It was migas.) I ate it with

relish while I waited or my side to cool a bit.

(EDITORS NOTE By relish he means with

gusto and delight, not actual relish. Ew.)

In my mind little can compare with the

ecstasy o a well-prepared plate o biscuits

and gravy. The creamy, hearty goodness o

this dish should be recognized worldwide,

but alas it is not.

Ca Comal gave me what I craved,

though. As the gravy cooled, it gelled perectly.

I poked at the gravy with a pointed fnger and

watched it quiver without coating me. (A perect

gravy does this the moment it begins to cool.)

I giggled deliriously as I watched the Tabasco

pool on the top and begin to eat into the blanket

covering the biscuits. Nothing more is needed

or a good biscuits and gravy, and nothing

more was needed or Ca Comals. Each bite

included uy biscuit and slid down my throat

with sausage-at-induced ease, and I could eel

my arteries harden right there at the table.

This doesnt represent all o my

gastronomical adventures, but it certainly

provides a good overview. Vermont has its

charms, but the ood isnt really one o them.

In New Braunels, I ound a place my stomach

could explore or 100 visits. Only word count

holds back my praise.

Next week: Texas Leisure

You can read more rom Kelly Colby at yourfrstshrug.blogspot.com.

7/28/2019 TX Citizen 6.13.13

16/16

, &

Find out Friday, June 28, at 8pmLIVE at the Phoenix Saloon!

Vote for your favorite entrant with cold, hard cash! The contestantwho raises the most money during the pageant will be named thevery rst Miss TX Citizen. 100% of funds raised by all contestants will

be donated to New Braunfels Puppy Playland for the establishment ofan off-leash dog park right here in New Braunfels!

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Documents

TX Citizen 6.13.13