Two Eras of David (One Act)

7/31/2019 Two Eras of David (One Act)

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TWO ERAS OF DAVID

written by

Eric Peter Schwartz

First Draft

January 10, 2012Copyright (c) 2011-2012Eric Peter SchwartzAll Rights Reserved


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At rise the stage is nearly emptyexcept for a 2 sets of tables andtwo chairs set equally far apartfrom each other. Near the tablesand chairs there are two smallsigns on posts, turned away from

the audience.

There is a mirror effect created.

A moment later two eras of Davidcome on stage together. DAVID 1997and DAVID 2012 (referred tohereafter as 1997 and 2012 in thescript).

The two Davids together, walk tothe upstage and then proceed, witha roll of blue painters tape, to

bisect the stage in half from backto front, leaving each table andchair set on either side.

Both David's move upstage.

CARLA and TAYLOR enter. They moveto the tables. Taylor is a youngman and Carla is in her earlyforties. The sit, again, mirroringeach other, facing the blue line.Taylor stage right, Carla stageleft.

1997 turns back and makes his wayto the table, with Carla, with twoglasses.

He turns his sign around and itreads "1997". He puts the glassdown and begins to talk to whoeveris across the table from him.

1997Okay. Sorry. There you go. Dewar's neat, right?

CARLAYeah. Thanks.

1997So, how many times have you been here for a conference?

CARLAEleven.


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3.

1997So, my plan is to stay here until I catch a break.

CARLAA good plan.

1997I've been at it a while and my name is getting around alittle bit. So, hopefully... no offense... I won't seeeleven consecutive January sales meetings in Arizona.

2012 turns around and carries twodrinks to the table with Taylor. Heturns the sign around to read"2012".

2012Yep. This is my fifteenth January conference.

TAYLORWow. Fifteen years with one company.

2012Well, to be fair, it's been sold a couple of times. We wentfrom being an independent company traded on the stock marketto being owned by a conglomerate to being owned byinvestment bankers to... now, being a completely differentcompany traded on the stock market.

TAYLORDavid, Jesus... how have you managed to survive so long?

2012To be honest, I have no idea. I keep expecting them torealize I'm a fraud and fire me. I've expected that forfifteen years. Instead I've watched about six bosses comeand go.

TAYLORUnreal.

2012You're telling me. Look, I started this job at twenty-fiveand I couldn't conceive of doing ANYTHING for fifteen years.

It was an unreal number. If you asked me then where Ithought I would be in fifteen years...

1997Fifteen years? Well... I mean, I'm a dreamer but I'm not anidiot. If I haven't started making a living acting orwriting by then - I hope I will have moved into a creativefield at least. Something near the things I love to do. Youknow? Advertising, maybe? But, fifteen years is a long timeto get noticed. I'm not expecting miracles.


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4.

CARLANothing wrong with dreaming. Good luck. If you write and actas well as you handle my customers, you should be a success.

1997Here, here!

They clink glasses.

CARLAAnd Susan told me that you just got engaged.

1997Yep. Actually my first paycheck here allowed me to pay offthe ring I had on layaway.

CARLASo... tell me all about her.

1997She's awesome. My best friend. She's an actress too.

CARLAOh, that's good.

1997Yeah. We met at a comedy club.

CARLAHow did you ask her to marry her?

1997She was just in a production of Man of La Mancha, you knowthe windmills and everything. I took her out to the FabyanPark windmill and surprised her there. I asked her if sheliked it and if it was a place she wanted to remember therest of her life. Then I got down on one knee. It was great.

CARLAAwwww. Is there a date set yet?

1997Late next year. October probably.

CARLACongratulations.

1997Thanks.

2012You have any kids?


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5.

TAYLORWe're pregnant with our first.

2012Congratulations. Best thing you'll ever do.

TAYLORHow old is your son, now?

2012Eleven.

TAYLOREleven.

2012Yes. Eleven and maddening and amazing. It's all hockey andkarate and X-Box. He's a fantastic kid.

TAYLORJust the one?

2012Oh, yes.

TAYLORWas that always the plan?

2012To be honest, there really wasn't a plan. We planned to havehim but after that we said "whatever happens, happens". Wehad an extra room in our house that was set aside to be anursery for years. Then one day I out grew the walk-incloset I was using as an office and took over that room.That pretty much was us accepting that there wouldn't be anymore kids. What about you? How many kids are you guys goingto have?

1997I'd like three.

CARLAThat's a good number. I wish I'd stopped at three. I loveJenna, but she came so much later than the others. She won't

be starting college until I'm in my mid to late fifties.

1997How old is your oldest?

CARLAFourteen.

1997And Jenna?


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6.

CARLAFour.

1997You think it's better to have them all around the same time?

CARLAWell, at least when you still have all the stuff. (Shelaughs) It was six years between Kyle and Jenna and we hadto re-buy all our stuff. You know? Bottles, bassinets...After the first couple, people tend to skip your showers.

1997Good to know. What does your husband do again?

CARLALawyer. He makes a good living, so I was able to stay homefor a while. But you wouldn't believe how quickly you needto have two incomes.

1997Do you wish you were able to stay home full time?

CARLANo... and yes. You miss so much of them growing up when youare on the road and working. But having an identity outsidethe house... you wouldn't believe how important that is.

2012It was pretty hard at the beginning. I still can't believewe did it. When we finally bought a house, I had a half-hourminimum commute every day to the office. Then my wifestarted working overnights so we could hand The Boy offwithout having to pay outrageous prices for day-care.Unbelievable we made it through.

TAYLORSo, she would get home and take over in the morning whileyou went to work?

2012Yep. She was able to sleep some - through the creative useof doors, television, snack food and baby gates we were ableto keep everyone alive and fairly happy.

TAYLORYou work from home now, right?

2012Yeah.

TAYLORThat's got to be nice. You get to spend more time with him.


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7.

2012Yeah, that part is nice. But I've got tell you, there issomething I miss about going into the office. Is it strangethat I feel a little nostalgia for having a cubicle and aheadset... and having to fake being busy even if I'm not.

TAYLORThat is strange.

2012That's what I thought. But I do sometimes. There wassomething a little nice about those last few blocks drivinghome. That flip in the stomach knowing that they'd be there,waiting. Or picking him up from after-school care. Theexcitement on his face. He'd light up and run across theroom at me. I don't get that so much anymore. I'm just thedude sitting in roughly the same place I was when he leftfor school. (He laughs)

TAYLORBut you can work in your underwear if you want to.

2012I really can't. (Laughs) I mean, I could but I don't leavemy bedroom unless I'm fully clothed... shoes and all. Mywife thinks I'm crazy. Especially about the shoes.

1997Yeah, I'm having a great time here. I think I was out withsome of the Southwest reps until 4 in the morning.

CARLAHow are you still upright?

1997I don't know. We swiped a bunch of liquor from thehospitality suite and grabbed one of the hotel's golf carts.Somewhere in there a bunch of them got in the hot tub by thepool.

CARLAYou didn't?

1997

No. I'm not much of stripper. I hate not having clothes andshoes on.(Laughs) They called me the towel boy. So I satthere, finishing their drinks, in a deck chair.

CARLADid you make it to the meetings on time?

1997Bright eyed and bushy tailed. No problems.


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8.

2012I can't do it any more. During a five day conference, I canswing MAYBE one late night drinking. The rest of the time,no matter how much sleep I get, it's tough as hell to getout of bed. But, I am proud to announce that I have nevermissed a session.

TAYLORI guess I'm still running on College time. I can knock themdown and still get up no problem.

2012That'll change.

All four laugh.

1997Do you know where the summer meeting is going to be?

CARLABoston, I think.

1997That'll be nice, I've never been to Boston.

2012I think Boston was probably the worst meeting I was at.

TAYLORReally?

2012Yeah. I mean, Boston is a great city. Really. I love it.I've been to regular meetings there that were wonderful. Butthat one summer meeting... I barely went outside.

TAYLORWhere else have you been?

2012Let's see. South Beach. Miami. Chicago... that was nice, Ididn't have to fly. Toronto. Montreal. Montreal was thelongest. 9 days we were there. San Diego. Palm Springs...

1997Las Vegas would be cool. Never been there. Las Vegas. LosAngeles. Orlando Ooooh! London. That'd be great if they tookus there.

CARLA(Laughs)

That might be a little expensive for the company.


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9.

1997I just love traveling. This is my first time in Arizona. Ilove it. It's January and I'm not wearing a coat.

CARLAHave you traveled much?

1997With my family. You know, road trips to Mt. Rushmore. We didgo to Norway once to see my mom's family. Been canoeing inthe Canadian boundary waters. But there are huge patches ofthe country I haven't seen. This is the furthest west I'veever been.

CARLAWell, if you are here long enough, they'll get you travelingaround.

2012

I never told my wife how much I used to love the travel.

TAYLORUsed to?

2012I just got burned out on it. In 2000 I did both salesmeetings and half a dozen other trips... ON TOP of avacation to London. That's a lot of flying. And most ofthose - she was pregnant. You just... you get maybe anafternoon to explore the city you're in. The rest of thetime it's the taupe wall paper of an endless series ofconference rooms. A bell rings, you walk out into the commonarea where they've piled sugar and salt and caffeine for youto pound between meetings. It's not... really travel.

TAYLORBut you used to like it.

2012Yeah. Absolutely. When I could stay up late and grab a taxiacross town with a bunch of reps. Pretend like we wereseeing the city. Drink. I had a lot of good times. Later onI noticed someone would ask me about some place I'd gone andmy only response was about the bars or restaurants I'd been

to there. I thought I was well traveled... I was reallyjust... well-fed.

1997We went to the BEST place for our regional dinner the othernight.

CARLAThere's a lot of them around here.


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10.

1997(getting really excited)

I had this wild game sausage... venison and duck I think. Ithad this fantastic wine reduction sauce and garlic mashedpotatoes. And this salad that was made of stuff that.. Iguess was edible. Loved it. Plus Mark, the regional manager

ordered all these appetizers. Lobster and avocado tartar.Oysters. Bruscetta. It was great. A long way from theHamburger Helper and Taco Bell I'm used to.

CARLANice.

1997Oh! Then we did scotch and cigars in the bar. Mark orderedme this 23 year old scotch.

CARLAHow was it?

1997(still excited)

It tasted like wood.

2012 gets up from the table andheads to the bar. He talks as hewalks.

2012So, you're a scotch drinker?

TAYLORYeah. I think it's because I always heard my dad order it. Idon't usually have it at home. At home it's mostly just beerand maybe some vodka around. Here... I don't know. I don'teat the same. I don't drink the same.

2012(turns back)

That's the company credit card ordering for you. You've gotfive days to pretend you're someone you're not and havesomebody else pay for it. It's a little pretend time. That'show I look at it. A resort I could never bring my family to.Liquor I couldn't keep in my house. Food I've never heard of

before.

TAYLOR(chuckles)

Pretend time?

2012Absolutely. At my first meeting I gave my "Company Man"alter ego a name...


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11.

2012 & 1997(At the same time)

... Ravid.

CARLARavid?

1997Yeah. He's the shmoozer. He's the company man. It's like acharacter I put on when I'm at the big functions.

CARLA(laughs)

Really?

1997Oh yeah. When we had that opening night reception, I justwanted to hide under the table. I didn't know anybody. Ijust wanted to talk to the people from my office and go back

to my room. But Jarita cornered me. She gave me this shpeelabout "we're all in a fishbowl", "people are watching." AndI had to go get to know the field reps. So... I thought, ifI have to do this, I have to do it in character. Ravid.

2012(turns back from the bar withtwo drinks)

Meh. It was all bullshit. There's no character I put on. Imean, it's a funny idea and gets people chuckling at themeeting when I tell them about it. It's just me, putting onthe mask we all put on.

TAYLORKing, warrior, magician, lover.

2012Exactly. You are a reader.

TAYLORA bit.

2012(Sitting down)

Yep. We are all different things at different times. Here I

shmooze and behave in a completely different way than I doat home or out with friends. But it's all me.

2012 slides the glass over toTaylor, who eyes it for a moment.

TAYLORWhat is that?


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12.

2012That... is a 23-year-old Benrinnes single malt scotch fromSpeyside, Scotland. It's pricey per glass but... it's on mytab and the company card. I was here the first time I had ascotch that old.

Taylor takes a sip and makes asurprised face.

2012 takes a sip of his own drinkand smiles.

2012 (CONT'D)That was also the last time I had a scotch that old.

TAYLORIt takes like wood.

2012

Do you like it?

TAYLORI... don't know. What are you drinking?

2012Southern Comfort and diet. I can't stand scotch.

CARLASo what kind of acting do you do? Musicals?

1997Nah. I mostly I do sketch comedy. I'm in a comedy groupcalled Ransacked.

CARLAIs it improv like Whose Line Is It Anyway?

1997No. It's all written out - more like Saturday Night Live.

CARLAHow fun. Do you do your skits at comedy clubs?

1997

Just about any place we can. We've even performed in abarber shop, believe it or not.

CARLAThat sounds so neat. Well, I can say "I knew you when".

1997Well... that would be nice. I do a lot of other writing too.that's my favorite thing. I've got some screenplays andstage plays that I'm writing too. Always working onsomething.


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13.

CARLAHow do you find the time?

1997You just do, I guess. Like this one screenplay I've beenworking for a few years. It's called "Silent Blue". It's

about this canoe trip to the Canadian boundary waters thatgoes wrong. This freak storm whips up and the group losestheir equipment and canoes. A bunch of them die. The maincharacter breaks his leg and the only person who can helphim get out of the wilderness is his friend's brother-in-law, who is deaf. It's about their journey home. I've beenworking on that for a couple of years between jobs andwriting comedy sketches. So, you make the time.

CARLAThat sounds great, David.

1997

Thanks.

TAYLORNow, did I hear right that you do stand-up comedy?

2012(Chuckles) No. Not exactly. I do sketch comedy in a group.

TAYLORThat's cool. So you get up and do skits and stuff.

2012Not as often as I used to.

TAYLORTell me about it.

2012Meh... it's not really that interesting.

TAYLOROh! Come on.

2012Honestly, I don't do that much anymore. I stopped acting and

mostly write in my free time now.

TAYLORWhat do you write?

2012Meh... stuff. Scripts.

TAYLORCool. Maybe I can say "I knew you when".


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14.

2012I doubt it.

TAYLORYou never know.

2012(Laughs)

No. You can know. Believe me, it would be amazing andwonderful but I've pretty much scaled back my dreams to the"making half-a-household's income" level. I've had someshort films play at festivals and a play published. I'mdoing pretty well for a guy doing it in the evenings. Noreal money, but I'm happy with it. I just don't talk aboutit here much.

TAYLORWhy not?

2012It's just that my own hopes and dreams have started toembarrass me.

TAYLORReally? How can being able to do that stuff embarrass you?

2012I used to be really proud that I was something outside ofthis job. Proud that I thought I was going somewhere. Butafter a while you realize that, and please, Taylor, don'ttake offense to this, the people aren't asking questionsbecause they are interested in you or what you want. Theyare asking because you are an anomaly. The oddball. Theywould ask the same kinds of questions if I had a prostheticleg, believed in UFOs or had a face tattoo. And that's okayin the beginning. Then thirty hits and you begin to hearyourself through their ears. You hear your own exuberanceand excitement... and you sound like an idiot. So I justkind of shut it down here.

TAYLORI disagree. I think people love hearing who people reallyare.

2012I just think they only half-listen, waiting for their momentto jump in and talk about what they do. That's who I was. Iwandered around waiting for someone to ask me what I did. Ihad everything locked and loaded with my hand hovering overthe holster. Hell, it's probably who I still am.

TAYLORThat's pretty cynical.


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15.

2012Yeah... it is. Sorry. So tell me about who you are. What doyou do?

TAYLORI don't do anything impressive, like write.

2012Stop it. What do you do when you're not working?

TAYLORI read. My wife and I cycle a lot. I do love my X-Box. AND Ilove baseball. I'm hoping to do a stadium vacation in acouple of years.

2012Stadium vacation?

TAYLOR

Just do a road trip with the family, seeing a game in asmany major league parks as possible. Maybe when my kid isfour or five. Able to appreciate it a bit.

2012That's cool. Do you guys know what you're having?

TAYLORNo. We want to keep it a surprise.

2012Good move. The full parent experience.

GARY enters on 1997's side of thestage. He heads over to the table.

GARYDavid!

1997Gary!

GARYCarla, you need to watch out for this one. He's a wild man.I think he put away an entire bottle of Jager two nights

ago. Crazy. He'll probably wind up CEO.

CARLAI wouldn't doubt it.

GARYWill I see you guys up at the hospitality suite later? It'sannual "No Talent Show". Should be good. Julie Landers willprobably do her "peeling an orange while driving" bit. Idon't think she has any clue how dirty that looks.


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16.

CARLAI think she knows.

1997I think I need to see this.

GARYSee you guys there.

1997Cool.

Gary goes up stage, as if steppingup to the bar. He stands on theblue line between the two timezones.

1997He's awesome. The other night, he took most of the Service

team out for dinner. We went to this really cool place andate and drank and... He's a really cool guy.

CARLA(unconvinced)

Mmm-hmm.

A different, more staid Gary stepsinto 2012's area and heads for thetable.

GARYThere's my guy.

2012Hey, Gary. Have you met, Taylor. He's new in the Northeastregion.

GARYGreat to meet you. Welcome to the company. How are youenjoying the conference? Had some free time enjoy the hotel?

TAYLORYeah. It's great.

GARYYes it is. Hey, David, sometime this week let's grab somealone time at breakfast. I want to bend your ear about someof the tech initiatives Custom has going on in EnterpriseSales.

2012Sounds good.

They shake hands.


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17.

GARYTaylor, watch out for this guy. He's going to be CEO someday.

Gary exits.

2012That guy is such a douchebag. I can't believe we all reportto him now. I so rarely say this but sobriety and that manshould have never met.

TAYLORWhat kind of tech stuff is Custom doing in Enterprise Sales?

2012Oh - we are trying to get ahead of the curve by pre-customizing some of the websites and LMS cartridges.Basically creating enhanced templates to start from. Thatway, out of the box sales are immediately taken care of and

if there is further customization - the build time is short.On the back end it keeps finance happy and everyonemaintaining SWAN, JDE, OLR and the ACMS backend.

1997I don't think I'll ever understand what we do here. First ofall there are all the acronyms that I don't understand.

CARLAYou'll get used to it. Or rather... you'll get used tothings changing all the time. When I started, it was allpaperwork. Now it's all fax and email. They are sayingcustomers will buy stuff directly from our website likeAmazon.com .

1997That's a little scary.

CARLAYou're telling me. Most of the sales force is over forty andhas no idea what the internet does. They're petrified.

1997Do you think the internet is going to do that much damage?

CARLA(Gets up, checks watch)Honestly, I don't know. Everything changes. This job isnothing like it was when I started all those years ago.Sorry to leave you here alone but I am off to my room forthe night. There are tiny children to call.

1997That's cool. I'm meeting a few people here before going upto the hostility suite.


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18.

CARLA(Laughs)

I like that. Hostility suite.

1997Original I'm sure. Glad we got a chance get to know each

other a bit.

CARLAYeah. Maybe it'll help you write a comedy skit about thecrazy stuff that happens here.

1997(chuckles)

Maybe.

CARLAGood night, David.

Carla exits leaving 1997 alone.

2012Fifteen years ago... I don't know, possibly to the day... Isat in this bar. Right over there. With a woman named Carla.It was my first meeting. She'd been with the company a whileand we hit it off. She was a field marketing rep. We becamefriends. You know? Email. We'd say hi on conference calls.Christmas cards. At conferences we'd always have a drink orgrab lunch when we were free. Then one day in 2002 or 2003 Iget an email and she's leaving. That was it.

TAYLORWhere'd she go?

2012I don't know, to tell you the truth. Competitor, maybe.(Pause) She died a couple of years ago. Cancer I think.Somebody on Facebook sent it to me.

TAYLOR(chuckles)

You're really an upper.

2012

Sorry. I just... turned forty last month.

TAYLOROh! Happy birthday.

2012Thanks. And I guess I'm being recognized at the awardceremony on Sunday for fifteen years of service.


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19.

TAYLORRight after your fortieth? Jeeze. Double whammy.

2012Tell me about it.

Taylor gets a text on his phone. Hechecks it.

TAYLORDave, I'm sorry to have to run out on you but it looks likethey're all in the lobby now.

2012No problem. Glad we got a chance to get to know each other abit.

TAYLORWho knows, maybe you can write a play about it.

2012Absolutely. A little slice of life. It'd probably depressthe audience.

TAYLORI'd imagine it would depress the actors more. Thanks so muchfor the scotch. I think.

They both laugh and shake hands.

Taylor exits.

2012 and 1997 sit quietly for amoment on the stage, nearly back toback.

After a moment, without looking ateach other...

2012I miss you.

1997I know. (Pause) You scare me.

2012I know. (Pause) I'm not so bad.

1997I'm not so great. (Pause) Still drink ouzo?

2012Every once in a while.


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20.

1997Fancy an ouzo?

2012Sounds good.

Both get up and walk to the frontof the stage and peel up thepainters tape that divides thestage.

They ball up the tape and toss itaway.

2012Bartender. Two ouzos.

There is a long pause.

1997You realize that we're both hallucinating.

2012Absolutely.

They turn toward each other andsmile.

LIGHTS FADE

THE END

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Two Eras of David (One Act)