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Issue Number 3 of 12. Twelve magazine presents the March, Women's History Month edition. Delivering Urban KC. This isn't news...this is LIFE. For Connoisseurs and Conscious Living! Powered by KCSoul.com
Citation preview
2
For Connoisseurs & Conscious Living
This magazine is called
TWELVE to note it’s
monthly presence, only
TWELVE times a year.
Also, and more impor-
tantly, TWELVE is a symbol
of time. So it represents
timely information and the
central point by which life
events are measured. And
of course, time pieces are
part of the finer things,
perfect for our core read-
ers in pursuit of sophisti-
cated living.
Welcome to TWELVE.
3
Welcome to No. III!
It’s March and the women have taken over
this issue for Women’s History Month. From
women in business to women in nonprofit
leadership, we touch key people and events
as part of our salute to women.
Special thanks to those who attended our
March 1st magazine launch event too, SIG-
NATURE. A key part of that event was our
“Girl Talk” where women discussed relation-
ships, business and opportunities to support
each other.
As always, we’ll highlight the people to watch
and places to go. So enjoy the features.
Keep in mind, this is really your magazine. You have an opportunity to contribute to the con-
tent by writing, submitting story suggestions, and of course, attending the launch parties and
more. Contact us at [email protected] to get involved and send us feedback too!
Sincerely,
Ken L
LADIES FIRST.
DON’T MISS
Check out pictures from our TWELVE SIGNATURE
event and more.
Be sure to join us at our live events, held monthly on
First Fridays, to win prizes.
INSIDE
Archives History 6
Fly Guys 20
Nia Richardson:
People to Watch
24
Kiss & Tell 32
March Calendar 34
Vicki’s Shoes
40
Buy Guide 44
MARCH 2013 Volume I, Issue III
Though a lifestyle publication isn’t unique, TWELVE evolves the genre. It’s the only magazine
that you both read and live. We set out to create more than a literary piece. We’ve merged
both the online world and the live event into the “magazine experience”. Once a month, we
release a new issue of the magazine. The release is paired with a live launch event on First
Fridays, where the feature elements and characters of our magazine are brought to life for
you to touch, taste, feel and experience. The live experience becomes part of gathering
ground of additional stories, photos, and more for the final written magazine.
What’s Different? Read It & Experience it Live
kcsoul.com #TWELVEKC
TWELVE Magazine is
part of the kcsoul.com
network. Owned by
H.G.E. Marketing, LLC.
4
CLOSER TO MY DREAMS Plan now for Spring Graduation! Establish a Gift page today for the graduating student. Enable friends and family to easily make a contribution to salute their well-deserved ac-complishment. Help toward future expenses such as travel plans, a new car, or a new suit for interviews or jobs. Chances are a little extra money toward the tuition bill would be useful too! It’s FREE to start your page. Log on today.
Where The Nation Goes to Give
GIFT PAGES PROVIDE:
Real-time direct payments
Customized donation amounts
Goal meter option for tracking
Social media sharing
Email & contact invitations
Personalized gift page urls
Picture & video additions
Reporting
Specials & bonuses
Because sometimes they need it. Other times they deserve it.
5
SPECIAL THANKS
To all of Our Writers, Designers,
Planners, Contributors,
Advertisers & Supporters of
TWELVE!
Ken L.
Join the team: Email: [email protected]
Women’s History Month
Edition.
Pictured here:
Nia Richardson
Photographer: Jessikha Williams
Stylist: Kween Colston
Larry Alexander
Shomari Benton
Erika Brice
Kween Colston
W. Sarah Fletcher
DJ Franklin
Raye Jackson
Vicki Kelley
Iman Lott
Sherry Lumpkins
Mario McCrary
Gary Mitchell
Miko Richardson
Nia Richardson
Sharon Sanders Brooks
Earl Smith
Michele Watley
Dr. Doretha Williams
India Williams
Jessikha Williams
Christopher White
Salute To:
Black Archives of Mid-America
Blue Symphony, LLC
Pop-Up Art Gallery
Shots By Miko
TWELVE PLAY artists
6
The Black Archives
Of Mid-America 1722 E. 17th Terr
Kansas City, Missouri 64108
TUES-THURS 10:00 pm - 4:00 pm.
MONDAY & FRIDAY
BY APPOINTMENT SAT (CLOSED)
(816) 221-1600
www.blackarchives.org
Page 6
Inside the Black Archives of Mid-America, visitors discover, learn and remember.
KC’s Past & Future
kcsoul.com
PLACES
he’s a well-educated Midwest
native and has nurtured a
genuine passion for history
and research. Dr. Doretha Williams
was clearly destined for the role of
Executive Director of the Black Ar-
chives of Mid-America.
Dr. Williams was born and bred in
neighboring Topeka, KS and her
grandparents lived in Kansas City, KC
has always been like home to her.
She made her way to Kansas City
after earning a Bachelor’s in Literature
from Fisk University as well as a Mas-
ters in English, and a PhD in American
Studies from the University of Kansas.
At heart, Williams is a researcher.
Uncovering unique nuggets of history
in the annals of history books trolling
small town libraries, and conducting
live interviews. It’s her background
(Continued on page 12)
7
ICONS: Stand Out
“ICONS
Fine food,
elegant
surroundings
and the elite”
Page 7 Volume 1, Issue 1
ICONS (continued)
Dr. Doretha Williams
Executive Director
Black Archives of
Mid-America
8
9
10
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2. I Finally Know—EVEREADY
3. Consummate—Reggie B
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6. 1 Side Lover—LeShea Wright
7. I Salute You—LeVelle
LeShea Wright Mike James, Jr. EVEREADY Sosha Jodi LeVelle
LISTEN TWELVE PLAY artist series by TWELVE Magazine. Presenting KC’s Best! Next Up, the TWELVE PLAY LIVE CD!
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8. I Really Love You—Kenyatta Woods
9. Poinsettias—MicKey POW!ers
10. Notice You—EVEREADY
11. So We Dream—Mike James, Jr.
12. All I Know—Sosha Oshaye
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LeShea Wright Mike James, Jr. EVEREADY Sosha Jodi LeVelle
LISTEN TWELVE PLAY artist series by TWELVE Magazine. Presenting KC’s Best! Next Up, the TWELVE PLAY LIVE CD!
12
and affinity. It aligns well with the needs of the
Black Archives.
The Black Archives mission is to collect, pre-
serve, and make available the history of African
-Americans of the Midwest, primarily the Cen-
tral Plains-which includes Nebraska, Kansas,
southern South Dakota and Minnesota, west-
ern Iowa and Missouri, and northern Okla-
homa. It houses thousands of artifacts, photo-
graphs, manuscripts and more. Its mission is
in line with Horace Peterson’s direction, who
founded the Black Archives in 1974 as reposi-
tory of KC’s African-American treasures. One
of its original residences was the firehouse at
2033 Vine. Doors closed there in 2006 after
revenue shortfalls and paperwork woes.
In 2012, the Black Archives rebounded with
the support of state and city officials, the Kauff-
man Foundation, and with a special alliance
with the Kansas City Library. The Black Ar-
chives building is now in the KCMO parks de-
partment’s former Parade Park Maintenance
Building at 1722 E. 17th Terrace. It’s open for
special events, tours and events, for family re-
unions and more. Take special care when en-
tering. The archive is on the National Register
(Continued from page 6) of Historic
Places. There
are a few origi-
nal embellish-
ments including
the fire doors,
and original
rafters that give
the venue some
added character. Plus, it’s considered a
LEED Silver venue for using more “green”
environmental friendly systems.
Its new location houses a permanent exhibit,
The Black Archives
mission is to collect
preserve and make
available the history
of African-Americans
of the Midwest.
ICONS STAFF: Anthony Montgomery, Albert Kelley, Alisa Nelson, Simone Tolbert, Marisa Nelson, Rome
A glimpse inside the permanent exhibit, “With My Eyes No Longer Blind,”
13
“With My Eyes No Longer Blind,” titled after a
similar phrase from a Langston Hughes poem.
It reveals the story of African Americans in
Kansas City from pre-Civil War to more re-
cent history.
With a few houses of historic collections in
town, the Black Archives maintains a distinct
place in KC history. Dr. Williams states, “We
have one of the largest collections on African-
American hospitals in Kansas City, including
photos, papers and more. We also have per-
sonal papers from Alvin Ailey, provided by
Lee’s Summit councilman, Alan Gray, who was
a personal friend of Mr. Ailey.”
Understanding the current electronic age, the
Archives is
working to digi-
tize many more
of its materials
for the online
community, but
researchers are
also welcome to
make an ap-
pointment to
mine the wealth
of information
onsite.
Education, re-
search, special
projects and the
collections are
the foundation of the Black Archives. Special
projects include those such as public program-
ming for all age audiences, helping teachers
teach history in the classroom and even work-
ing with adult care centers.
Dr. Williams stays active, even outside of the
Black Archives to build an array of partner-
ships and stay engaged in community develop-
ment. She’s a member and regular attendee of
Downtown KC and Envision KC and other
civic interests. But often, she finds that she’s
the only African-American or African-
American woman in attendance. In these
cases, she considers this an opportunity to
help keep others in the African-American com-
munity engaged, not just the Black Archives.
After only eighteen months, Dr. Williams is
optimistic about the future of the Archives and
Kansas City. She hopes the community will
continue to embrace the Archives and offer
support. Your donations, volunteer support,
and especially visits support this national treas-
ure in Kansas City. xii
“We have one of
the largest collec-
tions on African-
American hospi-
tals in Kansas
City, photos, pa-
pers and more.
We also have
personal papers
from Alvin Ailey.”
TWELVE BLACK | ICONS | FEBRUARY 1, 2013
14
LOVE STARTING WITH YOURSELF
W. SARAH FLETCHER
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Woman: Hear Me…Meow? BY: W. Sarah Fletcher
We have entered the Golden Age, The Age of Enlightenment. Anthems proclaiming girls, ladies, women, “Run the World” belted out by music royalty like Beyoncé. This is a time of unprecedented technological access, a space where we know more about ourselves, and more about other women. We have connection with each other like never before. So, WHY DO WE AS WOMEN and YOUNG WOMEN, CONTINUE TO DENY OUR OWN POWER, COLLECTIVE POWER, AND TEAR EACH OTHER DOWN? Quick Secret: In relationships no matter the type, we are either growing it, letting it die or killing it off. Period. As women, if we are not building each other up intentionally, then we are letting each other die and are tearing each other down. The bigger secret? If you see in yourself the latter, you are choosing your own slow death. We NEED each other. Some may say, well I have my girlfriends, and we are close, so how am I tearing another woman down? Simple. Have you ever walked by a woman you don’t know and either avoided eye contact or made eye contact but still did not acknowledge her presence? Did not speak to her? At the very core, that behavior is destructive and a sign that we are not standing in our power as women. Ladies, we were designed to FLOURISH, THRIVE, CREATE, CARRY and BRING forth LIFE, not just with a physical child, but also mentally, emotionally and spiritually, in every aspect, in every fashion of life. That is the core of our pur-pose. We give LIFE. We are POWERFUL. And yet, we are so afraid of another woman’s power, to the point of our refusing to stand in our own, we find ourselves shrinking in our own shadows. IT. IS. TIME. Time to take our place as the Queens that we are and were designed and created to be. It is time to OWN our collective power that we already possess.
It is time to ROAR.
Sarah moderating the “Girl Talk” at TWELVE Magazine’s SIGNATURE event on 3.1.13
16
Kween Colston is your favorite stylist’s stylist. She also models, designs
apparel, and can often be found at the hottest events promoting and host-ing. The Kween Colston brand was created to bring style and class to local events that focused on giving back to the communities they serve through
high fashion and entertainment.
Her life’s motto is that we all must use our gifts to inspire others. She loves to sing and her favorite genres of music are jazz, blues, r&b, classical and real hip-hop. Her favorite singers are Billie Holiday, Sarah Vaughn and
Ella Fitzgerald.
Yeah, she happens to be one of your favorite bar-
tenders. Oh yeah, she models, too. Not impressed
yet? Keep reading. The old adage “Don’t judge a
book by its cover” couldn’t be more appropriate.
Introducing Marlena “Miko” Richardson.
She holds two bachelor degrees from Baker Univer-
sity, one in biology and the other in chemistry. That
alone tells you two things: first, she’s on a serious
mission, and second, mixing and formulas are going to
be easy for her.
By day, she’s a Product Innovations Supervisor, han-
dling product development, R&D work, and water
analysis. That could explain her fascination and talent
as a “mixologist”, but bartending just came by chance.
“My boyfriend had some friends who were opening a
nightclub and needed staff and I was already there
helping set the club up so it was just the next thing in
line along with being the lead VIP hostess.”
Her ambitions have moved beyond the realms of sci-
ence and into business. She manages two businesses.
The first is Shots by Miko, which provides bartending
services, custom cocktails & shots. The other ven-
ture, Osmose by M: Model Placement Services offers
runway consultation, model coordination, fashion
show choreography and casting, to name a few ser-
vices.
She’s making a name for herself in all areas having
been featured on both KCTV-5’s Better Kansas City
and Kansas City Live. As a model, she’s had the amaz-
ing opportunity to showcase the Feng Faces Spring
campaign, as well as a plethora of very large fashion
shows: West 18th Street, Rock the Block, Rock N
Fashion, Kansas City Fashion Week. As owner of
Osmose, she’s had the great opportunity to coordi-
nate, construct, produce, cast and chair the annual
Kansas City Urban Fashion Fest and more.
Education + Determination /Different paths mixed to
near perfection = Success. I’ll take a glass of that.
the Formula
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20
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They don’t set out to follow trends or even desire to fit in. They are the
one’s to watch for style. They aspire to
stand out and paint the city with their per-
sonality and individuality. Sometimes bold.
Often simply stated. Always stylish.
CONTINUED ON PAGE 30.
(l-r). Larry Alexander, Mario McCrary,
Christopher White, Shomari Benton.
Concept: Meddrin, Inc.
Photo: Raye Jackson
22
23
Jessikha (JaiWill) Nickalette Williams is a Spring 2012 graduate of the University of New Mexico where she received her Bachelor of Arts in Architecture and her Minor in Art with an em-phasis in Art Studio. Her passion lies in the visual arts where she has studied many forms of visual media since a very young age. For the past eight years of her post-secondary education, Jessikha has been enveloped in photography and graphic arts design where she has worked as a photojournalist, art photographer, and portrait and fashion photographer. With her degree in Architecture, Jessikha now looks forward to working with an Architectural firm here in Kansas City. In addition, Jessikha describes herself as an advocate for community service and isalso passionate about working with young people. She believes them to be not only leaders of tomorrow, but relevant participants in the global society of today. As a result, she is dedi-cated to helping children develop their own voice. For the past eighteen years, Jessikha has involved herself with the Children's Defense Fund (CDF) Freedom Schools, a non-profit or-ganization promoting literacy and ensuring that each child is equipped with the necessary skills to succeed in life. Jessikha currently serves as an Ella Baker Trainer where she prepares col-lege interns to teach in a classroom. All things considered, in both her art and advo-cacy, Jessikha finds interest in exploring contro-versial subjects and issues of race and gender. Her hope is to one day fuse her love of chil-dren, education, and the visual arts to aid in the fight for social justice.
JaiWill behind the scenes at the March, TWELVE Magazine photo shoot at the Pop-Up Art Gallery, KCMO.
24
NIA RICH
HUDSON & JANE
Velvet Blazer, Pants,
Shirts, and Pocket Square.
BANANA REPUBLIC
Boots
HALLS
Pin
LOVE
By Iman Lott
Photo: Jessikha Williams
Stylist: Kween Colston
25
he saying “big people do big things”, I’ve learned is not always accurate. After meeting Mrs. Nia
Richardson I’ve discovered sometimes big things come in small packages…Nia is every bit of 5”3. Big character precedes her petite frame. I introduce myself. “Hi I’m Nia, “ followed by a larger than life smile. Nia was re-cently ap-pointed Di-rector of Busi-ness Devel-opment and Marketing at DuBois Con-sultants, Inc. Based out of Kansas City Missouri, Du-Bois Consult-ants has been providing civil and structural engineering design services since 1988. “I have just recently moved into a new position in our family owned company. Our company is the only Black owned, Black operated busi-ness located in the urban core that provides civil and structural engineering design . “My overall vision is to make DuBois Consultants a place for engineering and design innovation for Black engineers in Kansas City. Kansas City’s been identified as having the highest number of engineers per capita. Every major engineer-ing firm has an office here, and three big firms are headquartered here. I plan to capitalize on this. I want us to be recognized not only as a viable Minority Business Enterprise, but as a vi-able enterprise.” Nia is now responsible for aiding DuBois Con-sultants in its plans to expand services regionally to provide new market clients with specialized
services in site development, water supply distri-bution, urban hydrology, modeling, storm water management, erosion control, and structural design. I mention to her that I also work in a family busi-ness.“People think it’s easy to work for your fa-ther. Not the case. If anything, it’s harder. Ex-pectations are set at a much higher standard
than normal…but I love it!” Mrs. Richardson doesn’t confine her service to the family business. In 2012, she was appointed by Mayor Sly James to serve on the City of Kansas City, Missouri’s Municipal Arts Commission. “I met the mayor through a friend who was working on his election campaign. We chatted briefly
about his prom-ises of making
sure young people are involved more through-out Kansas City, being assigned to boards and different projects, for example.”
Although she proclaims her-self less of an artist and more of a connois-seur, “I enjoy the arts and know the impor-tance,” she ap-plied for a posi-tion on the Arts Commission
and was appointed and sworn in shortly after. “The biggest thing this board does is oversee 1% of the arts fund. Right now, we are over-seeing the mayor’s initiative for improving the arts around Kansas City. There is a lot of private
(Continued on page 26)
Nia Richardson: Moving KC Forward
Between stops. Nia, wraps up a Municipal Arts Commission board meeting at City Hall.
“...I carry my
father’s pas-
sion of advanc-
ing my com-
munity...”
T
26
funding but very little public funding which is unique compared to any other city in the nation. We are trying to change that.” Nia is also on the Blue Hills Community Service Board serving her second term as a community member for the not-for-profit community develop-ment corporation that battles social and eco-nomic challenges faced by residents of the Blue Hills neighborhood. “I carry my father’s passion of advancing my com-munity”, Nia acknowledges in a nod to the exam-ple set by her parents, Ajamu and Kinda Webster, who have been and still are very active in com-munity. Nia was born and raised in Kansas City, but her childhood was unique compared to some of her local peers. “I grew up very different from others. I traveled outside of the country a few times. Both of my parents went to HBCU’S (Historically Black Colleges and Universities). I saw things first hand and grew up in a socially conscious household.” Nia received a Bachelors of Arts in Business Admini-stration from the HBCU, Tennessee State University in Nashville, Tennessee where through an ex-change program she also studied at the University of the Virgin Islands-St. Thomas, also an HBCU. “I am a firm believer in African Centered Educa-tion. I consider myself a conscious woman. I know who I am and it drives toward where I am going. “Last year I was asked by various community lead-ers to run for the 5th district seat on the Kansas City Missouri school board. I jumped into the race three weeks prior to election day and actually came in second. I thought that was cool.” I proclaim Nia a future politician in the making, however, she replies adamantly, “I’m not particu-larly interested in being a politician because I’m not a big fan of campaigning. I don’t know…”, she contemplates , “If it works out that way, so be it. But I’m definitely not trying to pursue it. The only way I would run is if I had the money to finance it but more importantly, if people were actually coming out to vote.” This shouldn’t be a problem for her if she were to run. Nia’s current community campaign, The 1840 Vote Project, increases voter education and turn-out for local elections for voters aged 18-40. (www.1840vote.org) How does one handle all of Nia’s professional and
community responsibilities and still manage a per-sonal life? “I was just married in July of 2012. While I would like us to experience everything together, my hus-band and I take turns covering parental duties.” Nia is married to Benjamin Richardson. Together, they are raising sons Eusavio, eight, and Zion, one. “My overall goal in life is to advance my commu-nity. It does not matter how successful I am, unless my community is successful with me.” Nia Website has big ambitions combined with a big spirit. I guess “big people do big things” is quite fitting after all. Stay tuned.
“My overall goal
in life is to ad-
vance my commu-
nity. It does not
matter how suc-
cessful I am,
unless my commu-
nity is successful
with me.”
27
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Twelvekc.com
30
Larry Alexander
Gig: Ford Motor Company Employee
On Style: Individuality sums of Larry’s sense of style. “Whatever I’m feeling for the day. It could be a suit or some-thing more casual, like my work outfit,”
says Larry. Married: Larry’s appreciation of a
good woman starts with a reflection of his mom. “She’s passed away now, but she used to write letters to her sons to
make sure she could express herself. “That same care and attention I wanted
in a wife.” Being a Believer in Christ was a must. Good conversation, goal
compatibility and being well traveled also stirred his interest in his wife.
Mario McCrary
Gig: US Postal Service Employee
On Style: Mario likes fashion that is classic, simple, with something that will “pop” it. “Style should be the way you explain to world who you are without
ever speaking.” Single: “It’s about her Spirit first”,
Mario says, speaking of Christian Spiri-tuality as a priority. He’s lived the life of a “womanizer” in the past, but has now
made God a priority, so a woman has to be beyond looks. “She has to be
more than what I can see in the club, just some nice measurements,” says
Mario.
‘Cause Women Love A Well-dressed man!
CONTINUED FROM PAGE 20.
31
Shomari Benton
Gig: Method Men’s Clothing Store, Co-Owner
On style: “I’m infatuated by the 1920s era.” It was a great decade for men’s fashion. I like to push the edge a little
bit, but I like the classics.” Has a Girl. He needs a woman that
will step out, explore and do new things. “She has to have willingness in terms of experience…or the ‘Want to.
She has to be open to grow. She has to have that innate womanly trait to
love. Part of that love includes telling me when I’m overstating my bounds,”
says Benton.
Christopher White
Gig: Meddrin, Inc. Fashion Stylist
On Style: His family starting with his Grandparents. “My Grandfather wore tailor made suits with his name embroi-dered on in the inside of every jacket
and suit. Single: Chris simply wants a woman
made for him. To be “Equally Yoked” is sums up his relationship goal. He be-lieve that within true love, a woman--
on the inside--should reflect a man’s inside. “She sees herself in me and I
see myself in her,” he said. Being “well-read” and patient are other fine traits
he likes.
32
PART II
Since this is the Women’s History Month edition, it’s especially appropriate to continue our “Girl Talk” on relationships, where ten professional African-American women spoke candidly about love and relationships. Twelve magazine was just a fly on the wall, taking notes. After all, this magazine seeks to bring awareness to many issues. That’s the ”Conscious Living” part of our tagline. So let’s get back to it. In our last issue, the TWELVE Black Book, we laid the groundwork. We examined where the good men are, the Kansas City dating scene and tips on how to approach a woman. That was the warm-up. Now we go deeper!
Social Media is the Devil Speaking of approaching a woman, direct one-on-one interactions can be intimidating. Knowing what to say, how much, and when can make or break a first impression. Yet, twenty-first century technology has provided alternative arsenal for the approach.
33
Nowadays, before we even start a conversa-tion, the internet becomes our research tool—“our friend who knows a friend”. A friend who’s more than happy to tell us relationship status, education, family, and interests of anyone we’d like to meet. In fact, we don’t even have to meet in person or start with a greeting to become someone’s “friend”. Welcome to the world of social media. Sure, there’s “some” limited protection with privacy controls, but social media can be a treasure trove of information…and a bevy of trouble. Shonda describes a club incident where a Twitter follower, a person she didn’t know, abruptly interrupts her conversation with another man. “He came up and said, I’m go-ing marry you. You’re my wife”, just because he followed her on twitter and was interested. People have always had trouble separating reality from digital communications. Back in the day, people were so embroiled in their “Soaps” that they would accost actors, some-time spewing negativity because they de-spised the fictional character the actors played. Today, the same is true with reality TV
fans who imagine they’ve connected with the Real Housewives of…whatever. This fancy now extends to social media. First, there’s plenty of fiction online. Club names, aliases and secret personas abound. To maintain some sem-blance of secrecy and to embellish reality, people will mix fact and fiction. Catfish Melonie points out “People have alter egos on Facebook. You’re not dealing with a person. Everybody’s a ‘bad ass’ on Facebook.”. Some people go beyond posturing on Face-book under their real names. Sharon brings up the show “Catfish” which airs on MTV. People will reportedly have up to two-year relationships with people they’ve never seen. College foot-ball star Manti Te'o, a recent target in the now infamous ‘girlfriend hoax’, is a perfect example. (This “virtual relationship” phenomenon seems new at first blush, but men and women had long distance relationships by old fashioned mail before the web. Think about the incarcer-ated prisoners and pen pals who write, give gifts and more before even meeting the sub-
(Continued on page 36)
“I want a man who wants me just a little
more than I want him.”
34
Sat 03/09
Blue and White Masquerade Mixer
Event type: Party
Venue: Ararat Shrine: 5100 Ararat Drive
KCMO
Time: 7:20 PM - 12:00 PM
Producer: Upsilon Zeta Zeta chapter of Zeta
Phi Beta Sorority, Inc.
Contact: Angela Canady Email: angelarca-
Thu 03/14
20 Steps to 7 Figures: Planning Your Re-
tirement
Event type: Business/Finance
Venue: UMB BANK: 1010 Grand Blvd Kansas
City MO
Time: 7:30 AM - 9:00 AM
Producer: KC - National Black MBA Assoc.
Contact: Catrice McNeely Email: [email protected] Phone: 1-877-493-2073
Web: www.nbmbaa.org
Fri 03/15
Links Happy Hour
Event type: Fundraiser
Venue: Diastole Center: 2501 Holmes Kansas
City MO
Time: 5:00 PM - 8:00 PM
Producer: Greater Kansas City Chapter of The
Links
Contact: Email: Phone:
Web: gkclinksinc.org
Sat 03/23
2013 OLD-SCHOOL THROWBACK
JAM
Event type: Fundraiser
Venue: Knights of Columbus Hall: 5101 Blue
Ridge Cutoff Kansas City MO
Time: 8:00 PM - 1:00 AM
Producer: Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity, Inc. and
Beta Lambda Education I
Contact: John Pitts Email:
Web: www.betalambda.org
Sat 03/23
10th Annual Father/Daughter Ball
Event type: Other Venue: The View Community Center: 13500
Byars Rd Grandview MO
Time: 7:00 PM - 10:00 PM
Producer: M.A.C.A.A.
Contact: Murad Baheyadeen Email:
Phone: 913-269-9669
Sun 03/24
HBCU College Tour by A-Phi-A
Event type: Community Action
Venue: HBCU schools: Kansas City MO
Time: 8:00 AM - 8:00 AM
Producer: Alpha Phi Alpha Beta Lambda Chap
Contact: George Ramsey Email:
Phone: 816-516-7630
Web: kcalphas.com
Sat 03/30
Women Entrepreneurs On The Move
Event type: Networking
Venue: Brush Creek Community Center: Kan-
sas City MO
Time: 2:00 PM - 6:00 PM
Producer: Sherri Flowers - The Flower Pot
Foundation
Contact: Sharla Webb Email: [email protected]
Web: sharjscatering.com
kcsoul.com –KCs Urban Source ADD EVENTS OF ALL TYPES POETRY, CONCERTS, PARTIES, NETWORK-
ING AND MORE. Just create a kcsoul.com
Login or use your Facebook login and post for
FREE.
Just a snapshot of events from
the nonprofit calendar.
For complete listings, visit
kcsoul.com
Malcolm X
Women’s
History Month
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kcsoul.com
CALENDAR
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Kiss & Tell: II
jects of their affection. Social media can cause many issues. Ironi-cally, nowadays, if you don’t have a Facebook page, you appear suspect. “What are you hiding that you can’t be out in public?” After all, Facebook and Google are research platforms. Others remark that “hiding” online is a sign that they can’t control their mess.
You Say He’s Just a Friend Next, people, listen up. “Friend” doesn’t really mean “friend”. “Someone that follows you, and whom you follow in kind, is called Twitter good practice - #TeamFollowback - but it’s not a real relationship. It doesn’t even mean you’ve seen or paid attention to each other’s tweets. Many are event promoters just building their numbers for media and marketing purposes or bragging rights. Even a Linked In connection, doesn’t mean you know a person or have even met the person. The person’s a LinkedIn connec-tion, not a friend. The world needs some re-education on the word friend. Where’s Whodini when you need them? Unpredictable behavior from virtual “friends” has caused some of the ladies to react. “If I haven’t met you in person I no longer accept you into my social media circle”, say Melonie. “Once, someone made a comment clearly meant to antagonize my boyfriend. I didn’t move fast enough to delete a comment and it caused drama. You have to respect the rela-tionship.” Shonda notes that she’s also been more discerning because of stalker tendencies, but she plans to go even further. “When I get married I’m deleting all of that stuff. When I got engaged, people came out of the woodwork and were so disrespectful.” Melonie, reinforces that point, “It’s like on Facebook and other so-cial media site, ties you would have lost, had it not been for the internet, are still connected. It’s like maintaining a tie you don’t need. Some acknowledge a mixed bag with social network experiences. “There are married cou-ples I know that have no problems”, says Karen. “Then, there are couples, not even married, that have agreed not to use social networking.” Can someone say insecure? Some men can’t handle it when you have too many followers. But it goes both ways. DeAnna brings up the YouTube video, “Like it one more time” If you like a girls status fifteen times and a picture six-
(Continued from page 33)
teen times, there’s a problem. Shonda says, “Social media should have the same etiquette as real life. Don’t make in appropriate comments on status or pictures.” The difficulty is that it’s not just what you say, but what people say to you. Lisa, who describes her husband as a low key lurker on Facebook, states that “Facebook is Satan’s Playground. Whatever mischief you want to get into, you can.”
Online Dating Despite social media problems, online love inter-ests aren’t all bad. Computers are the new land-scape on which to build romance, in theory. Sites like Match.com and ChristianMingle.com are mainstream and boast impressive results. Closer to home, local urban Kansas Citians connect on the Singles portal of KCSoul.com. The ladies in our roundtable have heard of some success with online dating… at least among white friends. One of the issues with sites like those large national sites is that the community of people of color is so small. DeAnna noted that eligible bachelors on those sites end up unintentionally sending mes-sages to women who are friends with each other. “Everybody meets the same Black guy!”
The Promise Land – Just One for Me For most of us, while navigating through the love maze, a good marriage is still the goal. At our girl talk soiree, the women here range in age from late twenties to almost forty. These women are ready to settle down. No one seems to be rushed…just ready. To some, it’s a matter of defin-ing what they really need. Melonie says “My grandmother always said, ‘There’s what you really need and what you want’.” If you want, you can develop a list of those things to help you hone in on your true perception of a soul mate. However, “People make lists and forget to do what’s natural”, Karen muses. Shonda, puts it all in God’s hands. “It’s not wrong to want, but pray over things and be patient and wait,” she says. “He knows I’d like to have grandchildren for my mother. It’s all in His timing. God knows what you need.” DeAnna, “I want a man who wants me just a little more than I want him. If he does, all of the other stuff will fall into place.” Julie, “Right. We [women] naturally give more. That just gives you a chance to relax and get into him instead of going all out to
37
prove yourself.” Just when this seems to be the solution, Lisa, who’s married, chimes in with the reality check. “They always want you more in the beginning. When the relationship is new, it’s all peachy. For men, it’s the chase. When you an-swer every call, when you’re always available, they get bored. They want the one they can’t have, the Upgrade. Lisa reiterates the challenges of keeping a man after this “new” and fresh phase. “I’m forty in nine in months. 29-, 27-year-olds are out there and thirsty and you’re here married with three kids.”
Keeping the Marriage Strong Once you’ve found “the one”, walked down the aisle and pledged to live happily ever after, congratulate yourselves, but also realize that the real test is longevity. One of the biggest keys to keeping the mar-riage alive is keeping it fresh. Julie, “It’s about sustaining. I’ve met women who’ve been married for twenty years and they say, ‘I take a vaca-tion by myself without my husband or go here and there without my husband.’ They still need to chase you, miss you and real-ize you’re independent. This helps maintain their attrac-tion.” Lisa states, “When you’re married and sleep with your husband every day, he sees you crusty, dusty and all of that, but some-times , walk out dressed as op-posed to letting him watch you get dressed. It’s like a fresh breath.” Keep a little bit of mystery, even in a mar-riage. Be-
cause when he sees someone out, he didn’t see the “before” image nor did he witness the process of transforming the “before” into the “after”. Julie, “Yeah, a lot of French women have separate dressing rooms.”
Slip and FAIL After already stating the challenges of keeping a man’s interest and commitment, Lisa drops some additional perspective, “Cheating is not the worst a man can do to you. It’s not. For a man it’s a just a piece…most often.” Several of the women nod in agreement. “Emotionally cheating is much worse. It’s all gross, but it’s not the worst. People fall. People have different shortcomings; theirs just might not be the same as yours.”
Let’s Talk About Sex Women aren’t generally inclined to putting all of their business out there, so you may want to save this article for future reference. Know this: most women are not prudes. Sex is on the agenda, even for those who aren’t getting any…right now. Start men off with a least two women in a room, and you’ve covered 90% of male fantasies. But women don’t seem to have any specific scenarios, maybe a few fantasy people. The consistent theme is that they want sex to be good and exciting. Melonie volunteers, “It can’t be boring. Bring some excitement, like the possibil-ity of getting caught. You know, it’s illegal to do something in the movie theater, but at least try. Just be-cause we’re old enough to know the law, doesn’t mean we can’t bend it. So it’s not all salt and pepper, put a little cayenne in it!” Shonda shares that she’s not a virgin but she’s currently celibate. “Sex tends to make you lose focus on what’s important”, she says. But she looks forward to an active sex life with a hus-band one day.
(Continued on page 38)
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“If we ride or die, I’m down with it. I want to be able to say, I haven’t done that for my hus-band,” meaning saved some of the exclusive tricks for him. “There’s only a handful that I have gone hard in the paint for, you know, come off the plane with no panties on,” says Shonda.
When You’re Married Sex is… The room tonight is mixed between married and single women, but most seem to subscribe to the idea that the end game is to be married and in a sexual relationship just with your hus-band. With that said, realize this: Marriage sex is boring,” according to Lisa. “It’s fun in the beginning, before you’re married. “When
you’re not sup-posed to be doing it, it’s good…When you’re sneaking. In marriage, every day is not fireworks, like it is when you’re dating. When you’re married, you schedule sex around Sports Cen-ter, then, when he’s ready, he’ll say, ‘Go on and get yourself ready and come
on over here’.” “I gotta do my own foreplay?!” It’s unrealistic to expect your sex life to remain on full tilt all day every day for all of eternity. After all, marriage, especially with kids, takes a lot of work—laundry, bills, dinner dishes, and the like. The best marriages make a special and deliberate effort to work hard and play harder.
Not doing it right Of course, women have their opinions on men’s performance. DeAnna says she heard from a male co-worker, “Most guys are bad at sex, because they learn sex from pornos and other men. Guys who are really good, learn to have sex from women.” Most women don’t tell a man about their performance, to save their pride, so they go on to next woman, still just as bad. So women, speak up!
Between Never & Not Yet There was a time when women didn’t do cer-tain things or weren’t forthcoming about their bedroom antics, leading to stereotypes about what a woman wouldn’t do, especially Black women. Between cable TV, the internet and
(Continued from page 37)
Passion Party type concepts, we know a lot of women are doing it all…Anal, oral, multiple partners, and more, but are Black women do-ing it all? “No back door!”, yells Lisa. “Looks like it hurts”. But a few aren’t so adamant and more willing to explore. It’s different for every person. “Never say never”, Shonda says. “I used to say I’d never do oral, now I love to do it. I had someone teach me how to do it.” DeAnna, “You know who taught me. Superhead.”, the adult film star. Most claim some skills, but then there’s Lisa, “You know what a guy said, to me? He said, ‘You’re making my head hurt. Just stop.’ All of my other gifts were better always than my head game, anyway!” Though women seem to hate to discuss sex directly with their mate - pride, egos and inse-curities are all at play here - communication is key for both men and women for a fulfilling sex-ual relationship.
The Wrap-Up After lively discussion, the night concludes with a tone of intro-spection, with the women contemplat-ing their current states. Most are comfortable with who they are and where they are in life. They find peace in know-ing that relationships will mature in the right
time with the right person. We hope you were educated, found someone you could relate to or at least realized that there are others out there like you. The order of the day seems to be: Keep God first and rela-tionships second. Keep an open mind, and in all areas, communication is the key. And, Oh yeah, stay off of Facebook.
“When
you’re not
supposed
to be do-
ing it, it’s
good.”
“Guys who
are really
good, learn
to have
sex from
women.”
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here aren’t many things that compare to the feeling that overcomes you when you slip on a pair of sexy, chic, show-stopping stilettos.
Self-proclaimed “shoenista” Vicki Kelley’s love affair with stilettos has taken her to new professional and personal heights. Sexy, curvaceous and beau-tiful stilettos serve as the platform for Vicki’s organization, Hot Stiletto, a free social club for women that marries shoes and philanthropy. Her passion for shoes is trumped only by her desire to empower, coach and serve as a catalyst for women. Her recent election to the Board of Directors for the
“I love shoes and I always have. Even as a kid, besides toys, I would always want new shoes.”
By Michele Watley
T
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Heartland Women's Leadership Council is just one of the ways that Vicki satisfies this passion for empowering women. “A Passion for Shoes.” Vicki can remember the first time she laid eyes on a pair of stilettos worn by her mother. Her love for stilettos has only grown since that fateful day. “When getting together with friends, I would say to them: ‘Wear your stilettos so you can feel cute!’” Happy hours with girlfriends soon turned into Hot Sti-letto. “I never thought shoes could be an outlet. All of this came out of my love for shoes. Because it came from my natural passion, it worked for me.”
(Continued on page 42)
Vicki Kelley Shoe Shine
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Since Hot Stiletto’s start in July of 2012, over 150 women have joined. Hot Stiletto now hosts many different events to bring “sole sisters” together. The Shoe Shopping Soiree is an afternoon gathering that includes stretch limo transportation to swank shoe shops in Kansas City, shoe shopping and brunch. High Heel Happy Hours include “shoe gazing”, networking and stiletto monologues. The brain-child of Vicki’s husband, stiletto monologues are stories about love, men, shoes and other topics shared by the women attending the High Heel Happy Hour. “Some are sexy, some are racy, some are funny, and some are simple. It’s just fun to see how creative women can be!” Hot Stiletto’s Annual Stiletto Party is a fundraising event for New House, a shelter and women’s em-powerment center that works to provide women tools to make positive choices and lead self-sufficient lives. Men and women can enjoy the shoe showcase and the “stiletto strut-off” while supporting a great cause. While stilettos and community service are an unlikely pair, Vicki makes the relationship work. “If we (women) don’t have each other, we are left alone and that is why our sisters fall through the cracks.” Vicki’s work with New House stems from the need to raise awareness about domestic violence “You can look like me, you can sound like me, but when you go home, you might be that domestic abuse victim, and no one would know it.” Girl-friend Hour and Heels Can Heal are a couple of gatherings that Hot Stiletto hosts at New House to connect women who are in need of support from other women. Karaoke, “mocktails”, and girl talk lifts spirits and provides an outlet for women who are experiencing trying times. With the Annual Stiletto Party, Vicki hopes to con-tinue to raise awareness and additional funding for New House. “You may as well be cute while reaching back to pull a sister up.” If you would like to learn more about Hot Stiletto or if you would like to sign up for the free shoe club, please visit the website at www.hotstiletto.com and be sure to follow Hot Stiletto on Twitter: @TheHotStiletto.
(Continued from page 41) FEB 17TH | Game Night & School Supply Drive.
Alpha Kappa Alpha, Sorority, Inc., Xi Tau
Omega Chapter.
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SEE MORE BLACK BIZ LISTINGS at kcsoul.com Purchase a listing: [email protected]
Christopher M. White Meddrin, Inc Fashion Styling/Image Consulting 816.529.1531 [email protected] Dr. Doretha K. Williams, Executive Director The Black Archives of Mid-America African-American Cultural Center & Research Facility 1722 E. 17th Terrace Kansas City, MO 64108 816. 221.1600 [email protected] www.blackarchives.org Jessikha Williams Photographer [email protected] 816.589.8491 Kween Colston Fashion Stylist, Model, Designer [email protected] www.facebook.com/KweenColston Twitter: @est_Kween Instagram: @est_kween Miko Richardson Shots By Miko Bartending, Custom Cocktails & Shots [email protected] 816.673.9144 Twitter @ShotsbyMiko Nia Richardson DuBois Consultants, Inc. Director of Business Dev & Marketing 5737 Swope Parkway
Kansas City, MO 64130 816.333.7700 [email protected] www.dubconinc.com
Raye Jackson Photographer 816.916.4711 [email protected]
Sherry Lumpkins Blue Symphony, LLC Web & Software Design, IT Consultant 520 W. 103rd St. #176 Kansas City, MO 64114 816.260.8385 [email protected] www.bluesymphony.com
Staci Harrison Phosphor Watches 310.765.1597 [email protected] www.phosphorwatches.com
Vicki Kelly Hot Stiletto Social Club for Shoe Lovers [email protected] www.hotstiletto.com Facebook: Hot Stiletto Twitter: @thehotstiletto W. Sarah Fletcher Greatness Realized Professional Coach, Speaker and Develop-ment Specialist [email protected] www.greatnessrealized.com 913.890.3402 Facebook: Greatness Realized
BUY GUIDE
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It was the best of times. It was the worst of
times.” Wait, this isn’t a Tale of Two Cities, is it? No,
but, in a way, those lines still capture the essence of this
story. From the 1940’s through the 1960’s, women’s
social clubs were some of the most important purvey-
ors of the city’s social climate on both sides of the KC’s
state line of Kansas and Missouri.
Filmmaker, Rodney Thompson, of Vine Street Films,
reveals the history and importance of African-American
women’s social clubs. Thompson explores first-hand
accounts from
living members of
some of the most
renowned
groups. Yes.
These are price-
less conversations
and insightful his-
torical gems.
However, what’s
key are the testi-
monies from chil-
dren of members.
Hence, the name
of the movie is
“My Mother’s
Club.”
It’s from these
reflections that
the importance of
these clubs are
realized. After
all, learning is generational. Ask most people and they’ll
tell you, a positive upbringing starts at home. Children
learn from their parents. From stairwells, children lis-
tened and quietly observed. From food preparations
and table arrangements of fine linen and silver, they
began to understand the expectations of quality. As
parents dressed, both men and women, they began to
understand beauty and grace and that they too could
experience this.
Despite segregation and limited opportunities, members
of social clubs experienced life to the fullest. Ironically,
it’s not just despite segregation, but also because of it,
that African-American social clubs thrived. Throughout
the film, “Because we didn’t have anything else to do…
or anyplace else to go” is the reason these clubs prolif-
erated. Club members socialized in households be-
cause they weren’t allowed in many public venues.
They shopped in the historic 12th Street and 18th and
Vine districts because they were banned from the de-
partment stores in downtown Kansas City.
Every weekend, women’s and men’s social clubs hosted
gatherings ranging from teas, to card parties and dances.
Similar to the familiar and widely known Greek frater-
nity and sorority events, themed parties such as regal
galas and elaborate costume events were hosted by
well over thirty groups in the metro area. Most of the
clubs were purely social, at least initially. However,
groups with more progressive agendas, including par-
enting and community services, such as The Links, Inc.
and Jack and Jill are also rooted in the African-American
social club collective.
As social clubs matured, the realities of the social injus-
tices of the period, were too egregious to ignore. The
movie examines how social clubs
were integral to Kansas City’s
civil rights movement. Sit-ins
and marches became part of the
movement as social clubs flexed
their buying power declaring not
to shop where we couldn’t eat.
Like most clubs, these groups
started as a place for friends.
Common backgrounds,
neighborhood proximity or simi-
lar professional interests laid the
framework. Some clubs origi-
nated within high schools with
student members.
Today, a few social clubs con-
tinue, but things have changed.
The close knit bonds borne of
the events that brought people
together in each other’s homes
are gone, replaced with a mem-
ber network stretching across sprawling suburbs with
large-scale events held in public places. Fifty-cent schol-
arship benefits have been replaced with the fifty-dollar
event PayPal payments. The class of formal long
dresses and tuxedos and printed invitations have been
substituted with blue jeans, sport coats and Facebook
invites. In fact, the generations-old social network is
now online instead of in living rooms.
My Mother’s Club reminds us of a time and place that
helped build a city, and some of the fine qualities we
should still embrace, even in an age full of new opportu-
nities.
FILM HOME TRAINING
My Mother’s Club
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