REPSSIPsychosocial Wellbeing For All Children

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The Tree of life methodology with Narrative therapy ideas was developed by

Ncazelo Ncube-Mlilo (REPSSI) and

David Denborough (Dulwich Centre Institute of Community Practice

www.dulwichcentre.com.au)

This publication has been funded by REPSSI and developed for the benefit of REPSSI partners to support them in their endeavour to provide psychosocial care and support to children affected by HIV and AIDS, Poverty and Conflict in East and Southern Africa.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Acknowledgments 4

Who is REPSSI? 5

What is the Tree of Life? 6

Groups benefitting from Tree of Life 6

Levels of Psychological Support Systems (PSS)

For which age range of children is Tree of Life suitable? 8

Who is the target audience for this manual? 8

How long is the Tree of Life process? 9

What you will need for the Tree of Life process 9

Notes to the facilitator 10

Safety considerations 11

The use of culturally appropriate metaphors 12

Linking the counselling process to the daily lives and support structures of children 13

How to work with children on the Tree of Life 14

Introducing children to the tree of life exercise

PART 1 - TREE OF LIFE EXERCISE

Children draw & share their trees 16

Roots of the tree 17

The Ground 18

Trunk of the tree 19

Branches of the tree 20

Leaves of the tree 22

Fruits 23

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PART 2 - FOREST OF LIFE

The Retelling 26

PART 3 - STORM OF LIFE

Animals in the forest 30

Taking lessons home 31

Linking children back to their families & communities 32

PART 4 - CERTIFICATES & TREE OF LIFE SONG

Preserving our beautiful trees 34

ENERGISERS 35

CREATIVE COMMONS 39

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ACKOWLEDGEMENTS

Anne Hope and Sally Timmel published a version of the Tree of Life exercise in 1984 in their book: 'Training for transformation: A handbook for community workers, Book 1.' Mambo Press, Senga Press, Senga Road, Generu.

The version described in this manual was developed by Ncazelo Ncube-Mlilo (REPSSI) and David Denborough (Dulwich Centre Institute of Community Practice). Sincere appreciation goes to the Dulwich team, David Denborough, Michael White, Cheryl White and Shona Russell, for their encouragement and guidance throughout the development and shaping of The Tree of Life project. The Tree of Life methodology with Narrative ideas was first published in the International journal of Narrative Therapy and Community Work in 2006.

Many thanks go to the Salvation Army Masiye Camp team for its openness and willingness to share their experiences and challenges of working with distressed children. These experiences provided the impetus and motivation which led to the development of the Tree of Life methodology tool. Many thanks also go to the children who willingly shared their stories and experiences. They have influenced the outcome of the Tree of Life tool. Sincere appreciation goes to Hope World Wide South Africa and its staff and counsellors who displayed amazing enthusiasm in embracing new ideas as a demonstration of their desire to provide meaningful support to the children and communities that they serve. Substantive input for the REPSSI publication of the Tree of life was provided by Ncazelo Ncube-Mlilo, Jonathan Morgan, Noreen Huni and other colleagues within REPSSI.

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WHO IS REPSSI?

REPSSI is a regional non governmental organisation (NGO) working with partners to promote psychosocial care and support (PSS) for children affected by HIV and AIDS, poverty and conflict in East and Southern Africa. REPSSI was established in 2001, and commenced operations in 2002, as an initiative with funding from SIDA, SDC and Novartis. In 2005 REPSSI became registered as a non governmental organisation.

REPSSI as an organisation clearly understands that the most appropriate and sustainable psychosocial care and support for young children is provided in caring relationships in everyday life, at home, at school and in the community. Externally provided assistance needs to support, and not undermine, these natural systems of care. Around the development of PSS tools, REPSSI endeavours not to fall into the trap of undermining or supplanting everyday psychosocial care and support, nor of further stigmatising groups of at-risk children by selecting them for special treatment not offered to all other children. The REPSSI tools for the Psychosocial Wellbeing series are tools that have been carefully designed to support children within the context of their families and communities. The focus of these tools is not necessarily solely on children but rather invites children into reflections and conversations about their families, people who have cared and supported them, and ways in which they have contributed to the lives of others in their families and communities and so on. A clear objective of the REPSSI tools for the Psychosocial Wellbeing series, which includes this publication, is to strengthen children's sense of belonging and connectedness to their families and communities, as well as to challenge the sense of isolation and loneliness that many children experience in the context of HIV and AIDS, poverty and conflict.

It is REPSSIs hope that the Tree of Life will be a significant contribution to all people and partner organizations that exist to ensure the wellbeing of children.

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DIRECTOR STATEMENT

Director: Noreen Huni

WHAT IS THE TREE OF LIFE?

The Tree of Life is a psychosocial support tool based on Narrative Practices. It is a tool that uses different parts of a tree as metaphors to represent the different aspects of our lives. The use of metaphors and carefully formulated questions invites children and others to tell stories about their lives in ways that make them stronger and more hopeful about the future. While it was not designed as a bereavement tool, it opens up space and has been used extensively with children in different contexts to facilitate conversations about loss and bereavement. The tool allows children severely affected by HIV and AIDS, poverty and conflict to tell, hear, and explore stories of loss without remaining trapped in expressions of grief and bereavement. It simultaneously opens up spaces and opportunities to tell, hear and explore stories of hope, shared values, connection to those around them as well as to those who have died.

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WHICH CHILDREN AND/OR GROUPS COULD BENEFIT FROM THE TREE OF LIFE TOOL?

The REPSSI tools and approaches for the Psychosocial Wellbeing series include approaches that are pitched at different layers of the all children target group at the bottom of the pyramid (see diagram on the following page). The Tree of Life has been used to support children through their day-to-day experiences in their families and communities. This makes the tool very relevant in school contexts and other social settings where children spend their time, for example, community-based children's clubs etc. However, paraprofessionals working with groups of children affected by conflict and war have also found the tool useful. In Pakistan, the Tree of Life tool is being used with children who have lost their parents due to armed conflict. Mental health practitioners in different parts of the world have also expressed interest in adapting the tool to be used as a non-specialised focused support for more severely affected children (see pyramid on the following page).

In the context in which REPSSI and partners work, in relation to the vast numbers of children affected by HIV and AIDS, poverty and conflict, there are relatively few children who require and can be offered specialised mental health services (as shown on the upper layer of the pyramid). The Tree of Life tool can be used to support children in their day-to-day lives and can also be adapted to be used for more specialised forms of psychosocial care and support. The relevance and use of the Tree of Life therefore cuts across the different layers of the pyramid.

7LEVELS OF PSS:

1. ADVOCACY: to influence policy and direct change to the social conditions that directly affect wellbeing (potential to affect and benefit millions of children)

5. SPECIALISED MENTAL HEALTH SERVICES: psychiatric, clinical psychological, and specialised traditional healer services, for children with clinical mental health diagnoses (potential to benefit only small numbers of the most severely affected children at any time)

4. FOCUSED NON-SPECIALIST SUPPORTS: for special needs of children who are not coping, and who are exhibiting symptoms of distress (potential to affect and benefit hundreds but probably not thousands of more severely affected children at any time)

3. FAMILY AND COMMUNITY SUPPORT: everyday care and support provided by caregivers, friends, community members (potential to affect and benefit thousands of children at any time)

2. PROVISION OF BASIC SERVICES: food, shelter, education, housing, health etc. into which PSS needs to be mainstreamed (potential to affect and benefit millions of children at any time)

FEW SEVERLY AFFECTED CHILDREN

mh

Focused non-specialised

support

Family and community support

Mainstreaming PSS into basic services (education, housing, food, health, etc)

ADVOCACY

ALL CHILDREN

MULTILAYERED, INTEGRATED PSYCHOCOSIAL SUPPORT

8The Tree of Life was designed for children and young people aged between 5 (five) and 20 (twenty) years. However, this does not mean that the process cannot be adapted for use with older participants. Many adults, especially secondary caregivers who work with children in communities as volunteers and care workers, have found that making a Tree Of Life relating to their own lives as opposed to facilitating this process for the children with whom they work has been an invigorating and an enriching experience that allows them to feel deeply connected to other people in their lives. They say they have found this supportive and sustaining in their work with children and communities in crisis. Before a facilitator takes a group of children through the Tree of Life, they are required to make their own Tree of Life to familiarise themselves with the process.

This manual has been put together essentially to support trained counsellors and paraprofessionals who work in different contexts to provide psychosocial care and support to children affected by HIV and AIDS, poverty and conflict. It is hoped that it will provide an alternative safe way of dealing with difficult issues such as loss, grief, and bereavement when working with children.

FOR WHICH AGE RANGE OF CHILDREN IS TREE OF LIFE SUITABLE?

WHO IS THE TARGET AUDIENCE FOR THIS MANUAL?

9The Tree of Life process takes a full day (8 hours) to go through. In other contexts, however, counsellors have reported that the Tree of Life process can take up to two days. As it is a four-part exercise, there is need for mini breaks and energisers in between the different parts. This is very important as it allows the counsellors and the children to catch their breath and be energised as they go through the process. It is recommended that time is allowed for the entire exercise to be completed within a day rather than to try and break it up into different days. However, for some participants a whole day might be too much of a marathon session, or this might just not be possible, so it is left to the facilitators to make an informed choice based on what they feel is possible and preferable.

One flip chart sheet is required for each child. Alternatively butcher papers, clear cardboard paper, the back of old calendars etc. can be used.

Pieces of paper for writing letters to significant others. Colourful writing material such as crayons, paints (food colouring works as a cheap readily available and

inexpensive paint), flipchart makers etc. Pencils and pens are also required. Certificates need to be made for each child participating in the process (see later in the manual). Tape or sticky material is needed to stick the children's pictures on the walls.

MATERIAL NEEDED FOR THE TREE OF LIFE PROCESS

HOW LONG IS THE TREE OF LIFE PROCESS?

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The ideal number of children to work with in this process is twelve (12). There needs to be a principal counsellor or main facilitator to lead the process who is supported by two other

counsellors who will be available to assist the children and take down notes for the certificates that will be issued to the children at the end of the exercise.

When working with very young children (57 years old) the group of children needs to be smaller (10 children at most). The number of support counsellors will also have to increase; one counsellor is needed for every 23 children.

Older children will be able to write as well as draw on the pieces of paper on which they do their Trees of Life. Younger children can be asked if they want you to write down what they say about their Trees of Life on the paper

beside the drawing. If they want this assistance, make sure that you only write what they instruct you to write. As the lead counsellor/facilitator you will need to have been trained at least in Introduction to Psychosocial Care

and Support or be very familiar with the values and principles of psychosocial care and support. As the lead counsellor/facilitator you will need to adequately brief the other counsellors about the process and

the support that they will need to provide during the exercise. As the lead counsellor/facilitator you will need to prepare your own Tree Of Life prior to working with the

children. This will give you the necessary experience as well as facilitate sharing the Tree with the children at the start of the exercise.

Certificates need to be prepared prior to the exercise so that they are ready for filling in the necessary information.

Ensure that snacks and refreshment for the children are available as the process is a long one. Have a list of energisers ready for use during the exercise (see page ) You may need to think about a song that the group will sing during the issuing of certificates. The children who

participate in the exercise may have brilliant ideas for a song. Think about a community of people that you can invite prior to the exercise to witness the certificate ceremony

at the end of the process. It will be really wonderful if the children's parents, caregivers, friends and other members of the community can attend.

NOTES FOR THE FACILITATOR

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SAFETY CONSIDERATIONS

Narrative practices, amongst other things, place emphasis on ensuring safety when working with children, individuals and communities. Safety can be compromised in counselling by asking those who are experiencing problems to continuously retell problem-saturated stories (stories that focus only on problems and pain). Children affected by HIV and AIDS, poverty and conflict are sometimes asked to talk repeatedly about their experiences of trauma and suffering. This is harmful and potentially re-traumatising. These stories that are devoid of hope and that so many of us hold about ourselves are sometimes called the first story. The Tree Of Life tool is deliberately designed to support children into explorations about the second story of their lives.

The second story is about the skills, hopes and dreams that an individual has for his or her life. It is an encouraging and invigorating story that provides a firm base for someone to proceed with life despite the problems that he or she could be facing. These stories are rarely told and celebrated in counselling contexts where the focus is usually on the negative issues that make people seek counselling services or support. The Tree of Life process invites children (people) to step into the counselling process by initially exploring the precious things about their lives. This includes their family history, important relationships, their skills and competencies, and other things that they are proud of. All this is done before tackling or zeroing in on problems. Starting counselling processes by first exploring the good and positive aspects of children's lives, amongst other things, challenges the feelings of hopelessness, desperation, depression and defeat that many children face in the context of HIV and AIDS, poverty and conflict.

The expression to open a can of worms is one that most counsellors working with troubled children and groups are familiar with. Often in counselling contexts, counsellors experience challenges when they suddenly realise that that they have asked a child or an individual a question that seemed very simple and straight forward, but which leads to a very emotional and painful response from the child one that the counsellor is not prepared for and at most times unable to contain (hence the expression, opening up a can of worms). This may lead to marked distress in the child or individual concerned and sometimes other members of the group may join in with their tears, pain and distress. Such experiences are re-traumatising for individuals seeking counselling support and can also be difficult, challenging and disheartening for counsellors.

The development of the Tree of Life was inspired by efforts to avoid retraumatisation (also referred to as secondary traumatisation because the retelling of the traumatic story causes trauma in and of itself). It was inspired by efforts To avoid retraumatisation (also referred to as secondary traumatisation because the retelling of the traumatic story causes trauma in and of itself). It was inspired by efforts to allow a safe space for children to revisit some of the difficulties that they have experienced in their lives but in a way that does not further traumatise them. The Tree of Life allows children and individuals facing problems to experience a distance between themselves and the problems

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so that they are positioned in a place where they experience having control and being able to do something about their circumstances. Furthermore the Tree Of Life tool deliberately avoids targeting individual children in the group to give details about their personal problems and circumstances. This can be very unsafe, particularly where there is an obvious lack of a solid follow-up mechanism for individual children. During the Tree Of Life exercise common problems experienced by individual children are shared by the group and solutions to problems are collaborative. Children and individuals are supported to see that they are not on their own but rather that they belong to their families, communities, peer groups etc. This challenges the sense of isolation and loneliness often experienced by people who have experienced severe distress and trauma.

THE USE OF CULTURALLY APPROPRIATE METAPHORS

Metaphors in many cultures and communities evoke powerful meanings and associations for the local people. These meanings and associations embrace important values, knowledge and skills that people have about life. These values, knowledge and skills can support people to find answers to the problems and challenges that they are experiencing in their lives.

In the various contexts where the Tree of Life tool has been used in Africa and elsewhere, people have engaged easily with the tool due to the appealing nature of the metaphors that are associated with it. Trees are generally found in most communities in the world and in Africa they are usually associated with life, nourishment, shelter, strength, security, healing etc. It is essential that the ideas and methods used in counselling fit with the local culture and context. Failure to merge counselling processes/practices into the local culture is an imposition and therefore is likely to be unsustainable and unbeneficial for children and people seeking support.

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Structured counselling processes are often, by nature, separate from the daily lives of the people who access these services. Linking children, individuals and groups who participate in these counselling practices back to their families and communities is a challenge that many practitioners experience. Most counselling processes largely focus on the individual or person who attends the counselling, neglecting the reality that sustained psychosocial care and support for young children (and all persons) is provided in caring relationships in everyday life, at home, school and in the community. Externally provided assistance needs to support, and not undermine, these natural systems of care.

In view of this important issue, the Tree of Life exercise deliberately invites children to reflect, honour and acknowledge the precious relationships that the children have with their caregivers, families, peers, community members etc. At the end of the exercise children are given a certificate to take home that acknowledges their active participation in the Tree of Life process. This ceremony and these certificates also honour the contributions of important people in their lives. Children are also given the opportunity to write a letter of appreciation to an individual or individuals who have especially supported them. This, it is hoped, will enable caregivers and families to be linked in important ways to children's experiences within the counselling process.

LINKING THE COUNSELLING PROCESS TO THE DAILY LIVES AND SUPPORT STRUCTURES OF CHILDREN

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HOW TO WORK WITH CHILDREN ON THE TREE OF LIFE

INTRODUCING CHILDREN TO THE TREE OF LIFE EXERCISE

Rather than be prescriptive and provide rules about how to introduce the Tree of Life process to children, it is preferred that counsellors supporting children through the exercise be creative, innovative and locally appropriate.

SUGGESTIONS TO THE FACILITATOR Begin the meeting with the children with a brief discussion about trees in general. Children are usually keen to

show and share their knowledge about trees. They may talk about the different kinds of trees that they know and see in their communities etc.

Ask the children to talk about the different parts of the tree (trunk, roots, branches, leaves, fruits, and also about forests of trees)

Explain the purpose of the Tree of Life, for example, The Tree of Life is an activity in which people draw a tree on a big piece of paper. We draw the roots, the ground, the branches, the leaves and the fruits. We ask you to imagine that you are a tree and what it would be like to think of parts of your life as parts of a tree. For example, the roots are where you come from. And the branches are your hopes, dreams and wishes. And the leaves are important people that have been or are in your life.

You will each be invited to draw a Tree of Life, and get a chance to share your drawing and your story, if you want to.

The purpose is to make a Tree of Life and to give each other support. Present your Tree of Life that you prepared prior to the meeting with the children. If you have examples of other Trees of Life made by other children (where these children have given permission

for these to be shared), share these with the children to give them a good sense of where they are going. Tell them that if they don't want to participate, that is ok. Allow time for questions and discussion. Once you have managed to draw the interest and attention of the children, invite the children to spend the day

together with the counsellor creating their personal Trees Of Life. You can also say that the children's knowledge and experience of trees will support them in coming up with their

Trees of Life.

1. Where the Heart Is, Richter, Foster & Sher, Bernard Van Leer Foundation, 2006

part 1

TREE OF LIFE

CHILDREN DRAW & SHARE THEIR TREES

The aim of the first two parts of the Tree Of Life process is to build and acknowledge a second story about each child's life. The second story consists of the skills, abilities, hopes and dreams of each child and the histories of these. As the children draw and share their Trees of Life, the counsellors have a lot of opportunities for rich conversations and explorations of children's second stories.

Drawing the Tree of Life should be guided by the process, explanations and prompts given below.

Write the main prompts for each part of the tree on flip chart for the children to refer to. Put your Tree of Life on the wall to guide the children. Ask the counsellors to move around the room or space and support the children as they draw their Tree of Life.

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CHILDREN DRAWING

Numerous stories have been told by counsellors who have used the Tree of Life in different contexts around Africa about the pride that has been observed in children as they relate stories about where they come from, their family names, and the meanings of these names. Children tell stories about the people who have passed this knowledge, history and understanding to them. They also tell stories about people who have taught them the most in life. Sometimes these may not be detailed stories but they are certainly important stories and knowledge for the children. The exploration of children's roots also gets them to be curious about where they come from and the stories related to these important aspects of their lives. In situations where children feel that there are many gaps in their knowledge about their histories, they have been encouraged to embark on mini projects to have conversations with parents, grandparents, relatives and community members to collect information and stories about their origins and histories. The children become active investigators as they go around their families and communities making conversations with significant others. This enables children to develop a fuller sense of identity; it also becomes an antidote to the anxieties faced by many children affected by HIV and AIDS, poverty and conflict, in relation to forgetting their parents and their relatives and feeling separated from their cultures and their communities. The Tree of Life tool becomes a living document for children to record this precious information. They are able to refer to it from time to time

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This is a metaphor or prompt that invites children to reflect and speak about: Where they come from (i.e. village, town, country); their family history (origins, family name, ancestry,

extended family); and those who have taught the child the most in life. Also as they reflect on their history they are invited to think about their favourite place at home and a treasured

song or dance.

ROOTS OF THE TREE

STORIES FROM CHILDREN

When exploring with the children aspects about their ground, stories have been told about how grandparents, aunties, cousins, older siblings, family friends, neighbours, church members etc have taken orphaned and troubled children into their homes and are taking the responsibility to care for them.

Noku's storyNoku, a 14 year-old girl, attends a support group in a township in South Africa. When sharing her Tree of Life with her group members, Noku mentioned that she lives with her best friend Ruth and her best friend's parents in one of the local townships of Johannesburg. She warmly related to the group that she and her parents moved to South Africa from Mozambique in 1995 when she was two years old. Her parents died in November 2006 after a long

illness. After her parents' death Noku says she had nowhere to go, as most of her relatives were back in Mozambique, and because she did not have the right papers she could not qualify for a grant/support from the government. In tears, Noku related that her best friend at school knew about her problem

and then told her parents Mr and Mrs Mlalazi about her situation. Noku explained that Mr and Mrs Mlalazi visited her at her home where she was now living

alone and offered her to come and live with their family. Noku's tears kept falling down her face as she continued to relate her story. When I asked what her tears were all about, she said, I still cannot believe how some people are so good and kind, I thought that I was all alone and would also die like my father and mother but now I have people who care for me. I thank God for my friend and the Mlalazi family, I Am crying because I Am happy and very grateful.

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THE GROUND

The ground metaphor invites children to explore (talk about or express through drawing) their lives at present and some of the activities that they are engaged in during their regular daily life.

PROMPTS FOR THE GROUND The ground The ground metaphor invites children to talk about their lives at present and some of the activities that they are engaged in during their regular daily life. Important information to obtain includes: Who the child lives with now What the child does every day Favourite song or place when at home

STORIES FROM CHILDREN

The trunk metaphor invites children to talk about or represent in drawing some of their skills.

PROMPTS FOR THE TRUNK When the focus turns to the trunk of the tree, this is an opportunity for children to speak about, and represent in drawing, some of their skills. In our everyday language we may refer to these things as the following

Things that the child is good at Talents Things that the child does well Things that other people tell the child that he or she is good at doing Special skills like being kind to others, taking care of others, (things I do every day without thinking much about

them)

Skills that may have become apparent when the child was talking about what they do in their daily life. These could also be skills that the child has demonstrated during an activity such as a life skills camp, support

group (or whatever the relevant context maybe) in the days leading up to the Tree of Life exercise. Whilst working with the children try to note different skills that children display. These might include skills in

physical acts, skills of caring, kindness, and so on. During the Tree of Life process, you need to draw attention to how the child has demonstrated these skills; you can also assist the child to include these on the trunk of their tree.

When the children share their trees in the group, you can also ask children questions about the histories of these skills, how long the child has had them, and how they came to learn these skills; did they learn them from anyone in particular etc. This enables stories to be told about these skills, and the information from these stories can also be recorded on the tree.

While drawing the trunk, discussions about the history of these skills can also move into discussions about special memories about significant others that the children can recall in their lives. These are valued memories that the children hold as very dear and precious.

Encourage children to remind their group members of skills that they may have observed in them just in case the friends forget to put these skills on their trees. It is exciting to observe the little whispers and movements that the children make as they go to their friends to share their observations and make these reminders.

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TRUNK OF THE TREE

A counsellor from Zimbabwe related a funny story about listening in on a discussion between two friends who were drawing their trees of life at a drop-in centre.

Lungile and Brenda's storyLungile went up to whisper to her friend, I think you are a good organiser, you always want to tell us what to do. The friend, Brenda, looked puzzled and answered back in a low voice, Do you think that that is a skill? Lungile answered quite promptly by saying, Yes, you are very good at doing it, write it down. The counsellor just smiled at the children and gave them space to discuss and arrive at a decision as they saw fit.

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BRANCHES OF THE TREE

PROMPTS FOR THE BRANCHESWhen the child is sharing with the group about the branches of his or her tree ask questions about: The history of these hopes, dreams and wishes How these hopes, dreams and wishes may be linked to significant others like caregivers, family members,

peers, community members, back in the child's life/ home.

When you get to hear about how long these hopes and dreams have been alive in the child's life, ask about how the child has managed to hold onto these hopes and dreams, and what has sustained them.

It is always encouraging and hopeful to realise that despite the difficulties that children experience, they have hopes and dreams about a better life, and a better future. During the Tree of Life exercise several hopes and dreams that children have for their lives have been captured. These include:i. Growing up to become doctors, pilots, lawyers, police men and women etc;Ii. Parents getting better and recovering from illness;Iii Being able to take care of elderly grandparents and siblings;Iv Food just being able to get enough food to go round in the family;V. Growing up and finding ways to STOP violence and crime;

STORIES FROM CHILDREN

Vi. Doing well in school and getting a good job;Vii. Getting married and having children;Viii. Taking care of elderly grandparents who have loved and supported them.

An enquiry into the histories of these hopes and dreams has always shown that they are linked to significant others in the life of a child. Counsellors have shared stories about hearing children talk about how for example, their deceased parents always wanted them to do well in school and grow up to be a success in life.

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Noku's storyNoku the young lady mentioned above, who is living with her best friend and her best friend's family, said that her hopes and dreams were to grow up and be able to offer support to many children in difficult circumstances the way that the Mlalazi family had done for her. When asked what this hope was an expression of i.e. what it was all about Noku said that it was all about gratitude and being thankful. When asked to explain further about in what ways this hope to offer support and care to children going through difficulties was an expression of being grateful and thankful, Noku responded by saying, People I am not related to just took me and cared for me, if I cannot do the same for others, I think that I would not be grateful. When the counsellor asked Noku if being grateful and saying thank you has always been a part of her life or if it was a new thing for her, Noku said it was not a new thing for her as her mother had taught her from very early in her life to always say thank you and express gratitude. The counsellor asked Noku how she imagined her mother would feel and think if she knew that she was holding onto the value of gratitude and saying thank you. Noku proudly replied that her mother Would be very proud.

The counsellor supporting Noku in going through the Tree of Life exercise commented by saying, When you see a child's face light up the way Noku's face lit up, you can't help but say WOW. It is very touching and beautiful to see the joy in children's faces as they link their values, skills And knowledge To their parents, even though their Parents are no more.

STORIES FROM CHILDREN

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LEAVES OF THE TREE

The leaves metaphor of the tree represents people who are important to the child.

Highlight that it is absolutely OK to mention people who have died for the leaves. Explain that when our loved ones die they remain important and connected to us

When children are sharing about their trees the counsellor may ask the children questions about why these particular people are the most special to them. If at any time during this process, children talk about some people who may have died and they are upset about this, you should ask the following questions:

Did you have lovely times with this person? What was special about this person to you? Would this person like it that you remember them in these ways?

These questions invite the children to tell stories about what was significant about their relationship with the person who has died. This can contribute to an honouring of this relationship. It may also lead to stories about how the child continues to think about, and remember those who have passed away.

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FRUITS

The fruits metaphor of the tree represents gifts that the child has been given. These do not have to be material gifts but could be acts of kindness, or care, or love from others.

PROMPTS FOR THE FRUITSThe fruits metaphor of the tree represent gifts that the child has been given. These do not have to be material gifts but could be acts of kindness, or care, or love from others.

Examples of gifts that children have mentioned receiving from significant others include: Kindness, care and support from my mother when she was alive My uncle worked hard to earn money so that I can go to school Clothes, food and shelter from my family Support from my sister

When the children are sharing about their gifts the counsellors can ask: Why do you think the person gave you this? What did they appreciate about you that would have led them to do this? What do you think you might have contributed to their life? If the child has difficulty in identifying any gifts, the

counsellor can draw upon the conversations that have been shared with the child earlier in the Tree of Life exercise.

If the child has difficulty in identifying any gifts, the counsellor can draw upon the conversations that have been shared with the child earlier in the Tree of Life exercise.

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Noku's storyNoku (refered to above) spoke about the gift of a home and family that the Mlalazis had given her. When asked why she thought the Mlalazis gave her this gift, she shyly replied saying, Maybe it is because I am a good friend to Ruth. When asked to tell a story about the times that she had been a good friend to Ruth, Noku spoke about the times that she had visited Ruth at her home when she was sick and also about writing notes at school for Ruth during the times that she was absent from school. As Noku related these stories you could see the realisation of her own sense of being a good friend. This helped her to realise that she had actively influenced and contributed to the reasons why the Mlalazi family had decided to take her in. She was not just a passive bystander/recipient in the Relationship.

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TIPSTo guide sharing about the Tree of Life sometimes known as the Telling: When children share their trees, take careful notes in preparation for the retelling see page .in which they

retell each child's Tree of Life story back to them, highlighting aspects of support, special skills and hope. The exact words or phrases that stand out for the facilitator ones that express hope, special skills, special

connections, special gifts etc should be written down, as well as observations of values noticed by the facilitator in the particular child, e.g., courage, kindness etc.

STORIES FROM CHILDREN

part 2

FOREST OF LIFEpart 2

FOREST OF LIFE

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This is a very fun activity for the children and allows them to offer support and encouraging words to one another. It is often accompanied by laughter, hugs, smiles and pride as the children receive sentiments of encouragement from their group members.

PROMPTS FOR THE FOREST OF LIFEWhen children have shared their stories invite them to: Stick their pictures on the wall to form a beautiful forest of trees. Once a beautiful forest has been created, ask the children to

come forward and write something positive that they heard about their group members or friends when they presented their trees.

This is a very fun activity for the children for offering support and encouraging words to one another. It is often accompanied by laughter, hugs, smiles and pride as the children receive sentiments of encouragement from their group members.

TIPIn other cultures and contexts, children may be hesitant or may not want to have their trees written on by others. It is important to be considerate about this, and perhaps offer the children an option of telling their friends or group mates what they appreciate about them without writing on their trees.

The retelling is done by the facilitator(s). The facilitator refers to their notes from the tellings (see page ) and highlights the children's exact words and

expressions with regard to the skills, hopes, dreams, gifts, relationships etc. that were recorded by the facilitator during the tellings.

The facilitator can speak about the strong and firm roots that the children have, as well as mention the dreams and hopes that children expressed for their lives.

It is also important to mention the people that children are connected to who have taught and supported them in life and continue to take up this role in different ways.

Give specific examples of some of the people mentioned who may include parents, friends, pastors from church, community counsellors, social workers, teachers, grandparents, siblings and other relatives etc.

During the retelling, it is also important to acknowledge that some of these precious people may have died but are still remembered in loving memory for the many wonderful things that they did for the children.

THE RETELLING

WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT

part 3

sTORMS OF LIFEpart 3

sTORMS OF LIFE

The Storms of Life is a metaphor to explore some of the problems and hazards that even beautiful trees face. This makes it easier for children to name the ways in which they respond when the storms come in their lives.

Introduce the ideas of the Storms of Life by: Inviting the children to hold onto the beauty of the trees as they think how even beautiful trees have to face

storms and winds. You may say, We have lovely trees which have strong roots, beautiful leaves and fruits. As beautiful as our trees

and forest are, can we say that they are free from danger?

You will find that the children have a very quick answer to this question and have ample knowledge about the forces in life that are very unkind to trees.

Children usually talk about acts of: burning trees, cutting trees, urinating on trees, kicking trees, too much rain, lightning, aging of trees, drought.

Practitioners who use the Tree Of Life in different contexts say they have found that the conversation on the hazards faced by trees allows a safe entry point into a discussion about children and the dangers and problems that they face in their lives.

To specifically invite children to talk about the problems that they face, you may say: We have likened our lives to beautiful trees in a forest. Would we be right to say that, like trees and forests, children also face dangers and troubles in their lives?

Children usually respond with a collective YES to this enquiry. It is however interesting and energising to observe that children usually respond to this question without appearing sad or burdened. They stand in solidarity to name these problems and injustices.

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A counsellor working with children from a support group writes:

In one group meeting I had been looking out for a particular 11 year-old child called Ben, after being told by his counsellors that he is heading a household and looking after a 7 year-old brother. These children had apparently been abandoned by their relatives. I had also been told that he had shown no improvement since joining the support group over a year ago. When naming hazards, I listened with particular interest when I saw Ben raising his hand wanting to make a contribution to this discussion. Given the opportunity to speak Ben said that it was unfair that children are sometimes thrown out by relatives and have nowhere to go. I was surprised that Ben confidently took the step to contribute openly to this discussion. His counsellors had said that he lacked interest and was unlikely to participate. It was very clear that Ben was glad to have had the opportunity to have his say on this matter.

Children therefore talk about these matters with energyand seemingly no shame or any sense of being defined by these problems. After naming the problems it is important to bear the following points in mind:

Rather than just talking about the problems, explore with the children the effects that these problems have on their lives;

It has also been found that children usually talk about how these problems cause them to be sad, withdrawn, to perform poorly at school, to live on the streets, to abuse alcohol and drugs, to commit suicide, to cry etc.

However bad these effects may be on children's lives, children seem to find strength and comfort in being single voiced in naming the effects of these problemsand hazards in their lives.

When the storms of life have been named and the effects of these have been thoroughly traced, you can now ask the children whether or not it is children's fault that such things happen to them. Children have been by and large very clear in answering No to this question.

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STORIES FROM CHILDREN

STORIES FROM CHILDREN

Following a response to the question above you can then ask the children to talk about what the animals in the forest do when the storms come. This allows the children to richly convey lots of ways in which animals respond e.g. hiding, running away, protecting younger animals, imagining they were elsewhere etc. This makes it easier for children to name the ways in which they respond when the storms come in their lives.

When the different ways in which animals respond to storms have been adequately explored with children, you can say: I wonder what children do when these problems and storms come into children's lives? Are there ways that they respond? Are there things that they can do? If they are, I would love to know what kinds of things they do or can do.

Many counsellors who work with the Tree of Life say they find this kind of questioning gives children an opportunity to bring forth their skills and knowledge, and helps them to realise that they are not passive recipients of the hazards that come their way.

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ANIMALS IN THE FOREST

A counsellor who worked with the first group of children to experience the Tree of Life exercise with narrative ideas in Soweto, South Africa, wrote:

I still remember very clearly the responses of the children at Jabavu clinic. I remember the pride and energy with which they named their skills and knowledge about responding to the problems that they had named. Thesechildren spoke of the ways that they share problems with caring adults and friends in their community. They also spoke about a range of initiatives that children can take to Protect themselves e.g. Talk to someone you trust Talk to a neighbour Run away to protect yourself Talk to your teacher Pray about the problems Ask for help Talk to a social worker Make a report to the police Talk to a friend.As the children named these initiatives it was as if special knowledge that might one day be very important was being exchanged.

STORIES FROM CHILDREN

It is also important to get children thinking and talking about the following: Whether or not storms are always present in their lives? The times that their lives are free of storms? What to do when the storms have passed?

- Emphasise to the children that there are some parts of their lives that are free from storms and that storms are not always present.

- Explain that these are precious times that give us strength and they have to be celebrated.

As the Tree of Life process draws to a conclusion ask children the following question: How can they hold on to their precious hopes and dreams during difficult and stormy times in their lives?

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TAKING THE LESSONS HOME: HOLDING ONTO THE LESSONS FROM THE TREE OF LIFE

Noku (one of the children whose story has been shared above) spoke about how remembering her mother's teachings would always help her to stay on track. Other children have spoken about prayer as being helpful, keeping their Trees of Life so that they can always remember what is important. Children also spoke about friends in their support groups and communities as playing an important role of reminding them about their hopes and dreams. They also talked about their community counsellors as very supportive in this regard.

One of the major objectives of the Tree of Life process is to link children to their families and communities. This is done through a constant and deliberate effort throughout the exercise to create opportunities for children to talk about their valuable relationships and connections. This is important, as it ensures a continuous flow of care and support from work done with children in groups, into their daily lives and experiences in families and communities.

LETTERSThe counsellor can invite children to write a letter to their parents, care givers, or any other important person in their lives. In this letter the children can share their experiences of doing the Tree Of Life exercise. They can also express their appreciation for the support and care that they receive from their care givers. Parents and care givers can also be invited by the children to participate in support group activities.

Kenny's letter to his grandmother

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LINKING CHILDREN BACK TO THEIR FAMILIES AND COMMUNITIES

STORIES FROM CHILDREN

part 4

CERTIFICATES AND TREE OF LIFE SONG

part 4

CERTIFICATES AND TREE OF LIFE SONG

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This point in the journey calls for a celebration. The Tree of Life ends with a celebration and honouring of the children's skills, knowledge, hopes and dreams as well as their special connections to others. The counsellors who have been working with the children record what they have heard the children say on the certificates. Community members are invited to witness this celebration which ends in song.

PRESERVING OUR BEAUTIFUL TREESEnd off with a discussion about what happens to the beautiful drawings? Do they remain as an exhibition? Does each child take theirs home? This should feed into a reminder about confidentiality. Remind the children that personal information that was said and heard in the group, remains in the group. Facilitator should provide examples of what is appropriate and inappropriate to share outside the group. Ask the child about how they can preserve the beauty of their trees. Explain that the beauty of the trees needs to stay within them to support them in their lives.

Earlier we stated that the Tree of Life is a long activity (at least 8 hours) and that children will need refreshment breaks plus energisers.

Below are a few energisers that you might want to add to the ones you know already.

1. HOWDY HOWDY

Participants stand in a circle. One person walks around the outside of the circle and taps someone on the shoulder. That person walks the opposite way around the circle, until the two people meet. They greet each other three times by name, in their own language. The two people then race back, continuing in opposite directions around the circle, to take the empty place. Whoever loses walks around the outside of the circle again and the game continues until everyone has had a turn.

2. JUGGLING BALL GAME

Everyone stands in a close circle (if the group is very large, it may be necessary to split the group into two circles). The facilitator starts by throwing the ball to someone in the circle, saying their name as they throw it. Continue catching and throwing the ball establishing a pattern for the group. (Each person must remember who they receive the ball from and who they have thrown it to.) Once everyone has received the ball and a pattern is established, introduce one or two more balls, so that there are always several balls being thrown at the same time, following the set pattern.

3. NAMES AND ADJECTIVES

Participants think of an adjective to describe how they are feeling or how they are. The adjective must start with the same letter as their name, for instance, I'm Henri and I'm happy. Or, I'm arun and I'm amazing. As they say this, they can also mime an action that describes the adjective.

4. WHAT WE HAVE IN COMMON

The facilitator calls out a characteristic of people in the group, such as having children. All those who have children should move to one corner of the room. As the facilitator calls out more characteristics, such as likes football, people with the ener

gise

rs

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characteristic move to the indicated space.

5. WHO IS THE LEADER?

Participants sit in a circle. One person volunteers to leave the room. After they leave, the rest of the group chooses a leader. The leader must perform a series of actions, such as clapping, tapping a foot, etc, that are copied by the whole group. The volunteer comes back into the room, stands in the middle and tries to guess who is leading the actions. The group protects the leader by not looking at him/her. The leader must change the actions at regular intervals, without getting caught. When the volunteer spots the leader they join the circle, and the person who was the leader leaves the room to allow the group to choose a new leader.

6. WHAT KIND OF ANIMAL?

Ask the participants to divide into pairs and to form a circle. Put enough chairs in the circle so that all but one pair has seats. Each pair secretly decides what type of animal they are. The two participants without chairs are the elephants. They walk around the circle calling the names of different animals. Whenever they guess correctly, the animals named have to stand up and walk behind the elephants, walking in mime. This continues until the elephants can guess no more. Then they call Lions! and al pairs run for seats. The pair left without chairs become the elephants for the next round.

7. GROUP STATUES

Ask the group to move around the room, loosely swinging their arms and gently relaxing their heads and necks. After a short while, shout out a word. The group must form themselves into statues that describe the word. For example, the facilitator shouts peace. All the participants have to instantly adopt, without talking, poses that show what peace means to them. Repeat the exercise several times.

8. TAXI RIDES

Ask participants to pretend that they are getting into taxis. The taxis can only hold a certain number of people, such as two, four, or eight. When the taxis stop, the participants have to run to get into the right-sized groups. This is a useful game for randomly dividing participants into groups.

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9. 'PRRR' AND PUKUTU

Ask everyone to imagine two birds. One calls prrr and the other calls pukutu. If you call out prrr, all the participants need to stand on their toes and move their elbows out sideways, as if they were a bird ruffling its wings. If you call out pukutu, everyone has to stay still and not move a feather.

10. TOUCH SOMETHING BLUE

Ask participants to stand up. Explain that you will tell everyone to find something blue, and that they have to go and touch it. This could be a blue shirt, pen, shoe or whatever. Continue the game in this way, asking participants to call out their own suggestions for things to touch.

11. MIME A LIE

Everyone stands in a circle. The facilitator starts by miming an action. When the person on their right says their name and asks, What are you doing? they reply that they are doing something completely different; for example, the facilitator mimes swimming and says, I am washing my hair. The person to the facilitator's right then has to mime what the facilitator said that they were doing (washing their hair), while saying that they are doing something completely different. Go around the circle in this way until everyone has had a turn.

12. BODY 'TIG

Explain to participants that you will tig someone. They then use just the part of their body that you have tigged to tig someone else in turn. Continue the game until everyone has been tigged.

13. TUG OF WAR

The participants split into two teams. Each team takes one end of the rope. The teams have to pull on the rope to bring the opposite team towards them.

14. DON'T ANSWER

Ask the group to stand in a circle. One person starts by going up to someone and asking questions such as, What is your most annoying habit? However, the person being asked must not answer the question the person to their left must answer. People can make their answers as imaginative as possible!

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15. I LIKE YOU BECAUSE

Ask participants to sit in a circle and say what they like about the person on their right. Give them time to think about it first!

16. CLAP EXCHANGE

Participants sit or stand in a circle. They send a clap around the circle by facing and clapping in unison with the person on their right, who repeats the clap with the person on the right, and so on. Do this as fast as possible. Send many claps, with different rhythms, around the circle at the same time.

17. MIRROR IMAGE

Participants sort themselves into pairs. Each pair decides which one of them will be the mirror. This person then copies (mirrors) the actions of their partner. After some time, ask the pair to swap roles so that the other person can be the mirror.

18. GROUP MASSAGE

Ask the group to stand in a circle and turn sideways so that each person is facing the back of the person in front of them. People then massage the shoulders of the person in front of them.

19. TALKING OBJECT

Participants sit in a circle. An object is passed around the circle. The person who receives the object has to talk continuously until his/her neighbour decides to take the object.

20. REFLECTING ON THE DAY

To help people to reflect on the activities of the day, make a ball out of paper and ask the group to throw the ball to each other in turn. When they have the ball, participants can each say one thing they thought about the day.

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We hope that you will join us in sharing this method in a respectful and productive way.

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