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Copyright, 1908
By Dodd, Mead and Company
LIBRARY of CONGRESS
rwo Copes Received
NOV 9 9Od
Copyflflt iìtry
CLASS XXc. No
The Untversity Press, Cambridge, U.S.A.
1Vote
'I'HIS poem which is now brought to theknowledge of the British and Americanpublic was originally written in Swedish.It was published in that language a fewyears ago and met with extraordinary suc-cess. Six large editions were rapidly soldout. German, Dutch, and Danish versionssoon appeared. French, Italian, and Rus-sian are to follow.
I have myself undertaken the Englishtranslation, but am indebted to severalfriends for many a valuable hint.
It is no easy task to handle poetry in aforeign tongue. I claim the indulgence ofmy readers for this first attempt at Englishblank verse.
PRINCESS KARADJA.
BOVIGNY CASTLE
Gouvy, BELGIUM
Preface
THE poem that I now publishwas composed under strange circum-stances.
On midsummer night, 1899, I wasalone in the chapel at Bovigny Castle,praying on the tomb of my husbandand eldest son, when I suddenlyheard a voice whisper: " Fetch penand paper."
I obeyed. My hand drew auto-matically a sun, and wrote the words
Mot Ljuset" (" Towards theLight") without help of my personalwill. When I took the pen in myhand, I had no idea about what 1 wasgoing to write, but nevertheless I
[ vii ]
Preface
wrote fluently hundreds of verses.I must have become entranced. . . . Itseemed to me that the temperature fellquickly. . . . I felt chilled, althoughthe summer heat was oppressive. Mysoul was detached, all my senses weresharpened and acquired an extraor-dinary lucidity. I was so distinctlyconscious of the spirit voices that itwas almost as f I had written underdictation.
Everybody who reads this poemmight probably believe it to be theresult of long religious meditation,but such is not the case. The soulwhose evolution is narrated was anutter stranger to me. Most of thethoughts contained in this poem werenot mine five minutes before I wrotethem down.
Preface
WHERE DID THEY COME FROM?
No satisfactory answer can be givento that question. Telepathy is theonly possible explanation of such phe-nomena. Telepathy - transmissionof thoughtmust take place in someway similar to wireless telegraphy.
Vibrations of thought flash throughthe ether as well as electric waves.This now little-known psychic forcewill probably be mastered in thefuture. Living men will then, with-out difficulty, be able to communicatewith their disembodied friends. Fiftyyears ago the idea that two peoplemight exchange thoughts at a distanceof a hundred miles, by telephone,would have been considered prepos-terous. For my part I am absolutelyconvinced that free intercourse be-
[ix ]
Preface
tween liberated spirits and incarnatedsouls is simply a question of time.
In every period of history each
new idea has to fight its way. Mostpeople consider everything that theyhave not, personally experienced tobe more or less incredible. I shalltherefore not be in the least surprisedif my statement concerning the originof this poem is doubted, contradicted,or ridiculed; but I have decided toendure with resignation the annoy-ances to which I may consequentlyexpose myself.
Nobody who is not willing to en-dure personal inconvenience for thesake of truth is worthy to bear witnessof eternal verities.
[x]
7owards the Light
OH ! Watcher in the silenthours of night,
Art thou prepared to greet thynoiseless guests,
The messengers from distant spirit
worlds?On rapid wings they now are
speeding hither.They float around thee; canst
thou not perceive them ?Soon shall thy spirit's eye discern
their forms.[ '3 ]
Towards tile Light
Hark, child of earth! A chimeof silver bells
Descends to thee from starry
worlds above,While gentle fragrances enchant
thy sense.
The darkness dies.. .
. A radiantlight appears.
Behold the ambient flame en-circling thee,
That flame of living light - itis my soul!
My voice now whispers gentlyin thine ear
I too was once a mortal such asthou.
i: ' I
Towards the Light
I am not dead, although my dusthas lain
Deep in the silent tomb for manyyears.
I am not dead! My spirit stillis 1iing,
Serene and strong, robed in im-mortal garb.
I will to thee my earthly lifeunfold,
Then shalt thou comprehend thyfuture fate,
For I shall show thee all the pathI trod
From earthly darkness to thespheres of light.
[ '5]
Towards the Likht
Thou art a tool, chosen byHigher Powers,
To tell the world what thoushalt here behold.
The gift of words is thine; thoushalt express
My mighty thought, whichdominates thy mind.
Unknown to thee I hither ledthy steps;
Thy destiny I welded link bylink.
My hand, oh woman! chiselledout thy soul:
Resist thy Guide no more! Sub-
mit in peace!
[ o ]
Towards the Light
No blessed crop can grow onuntilled ground;
Deep furrows have been drivenin thy heart,
And now at last I sow: minehour has come!
May God in mercy overshadow us!I lift thy soul up to the source
of Light;Help others as I now am helping
thee.
Write down the message that Ibring to-night
With humble thanks because thyhand was chosen!
"Who art thou ?" - dost thouask. - I am a sinner,
[ '7]
Towards the Light
Who through repentance hasatoned his crimes.
My name on earth is utterlyforgotten;
My race is swept away from offits face.
I was a man who once had richpossessions
Alas! A sorry use I made ofall. .
No gentle memories of lovingdeeds
Survived me in the dismal hourof death.
Yet once I did possess a thousandtreasures -
Towards the Light
Rank, beauty, health and richesall were mine.
Men envied me as fortune'spetted child.
I deemed myself created to enjoy,And carefully fulfilled that
pleasant mission.
No broken sob could reach mydeadened ear,
Nor raise an echo in my emptyheart,
Where on a throne of ice myspirit dwelt,
Adoring as supreme Divinity,As centre of the world, as Lord
and God
i: ' ]
Towards tile Light
The only being whom I lovedMyself!
But years rolled on . . . ever thewell-known round!
Earth had no pleasure left for
me to taste.I was so weary that life's pageant
palled,
And duller, greyer, grew thelengthening days.
My selfish soul was filled withblank despair.
I grew to hate the joys that couldnot still
My craving after something I hadmissed,
[ 20 ]
Towards the Light
A precious something I had failedto win.
What might it be, I knew notonly this:
'Without it life was wasted, drearand void.
At last when I had emptied tothe dregs
Life's pleasure-cup, I longed fordreamless sleep.
The chill embrace of death wouldcool my brain. . .
Rest! Rest! Eternal rest - oh,priceless boon
I had no terror of the starlessnight,
[ 21 ]
Towards the Light
And scorned the thought ofcoming Judgment Day.
Annihilation seemed to me
elysian,
For I was weary - weary untodeath.
But in farewell I first wouldsummon round me
All that in former days hadcharmed me most:
Wine, women, music, light andfragrant flowers -
And so surrounded I would breathe
my last.
It was a merry night and I thegayest,
[ 22 ]
Towards the Light
Because Life's dreary farce soSOOfl would end.
was my last pride to smilinglyapproach,
Without a trace of fear, my yawn-
ing tomb.
The flickering lights burned low;the flowers drooped;
The hour grew late; my noisyfriends had gone.
One guest remainedI was alonewith Death
Whom I had dared to summonto my feast.
[ 23 ]
Towards the Light
A flasha shotthen deepestsilence reigned.
One thrill of anguish quiveredthrough my frame -
Then all was still! A sense ofdreary numbness
Crept slowly, surely over all mylimbs.
Around me deepest night .
Yea . . . ebon darkness.If death had come why did it
fail to bringThe blessed sleep for which I
yearned so long?When would oblivion sweep away
the past?
[ 24 ]
Towards the Light
Why this delay? At last a dawn-ing fear
Shook me that something wouldheginbut what?
I waited thus with panic-strickensoul. .
Death I had courted to escapemy thoughts;
I had destroyed myself; I mustbe dead!
I felt my body growing stiff andcold;
The heart had ceased to beat, thepulse stood still.
I was a corpse - mere matter -nothing more,
[ 25]
Towards the Light
A thing which surely was bereftof sense
Yetafter deathhow couldmy body think?
I was aghast, for now at last I
knew
That I had failed to murder allin me,
One part was leftmy thoughtwas still alive!
No mortal words can ever paintthe terror
That seized me when I graspedthat awful fact.
My senses seemed to whirl in
stormy chaos[26 ]
Towards tile Li,ht
What would myfuture be? Whenshould I know?
The night was dark; nowhere aray of light.
And I must wait . . . For what?I dared not guess.
Was it eternitywas it an hourThat I endured this torture of
suspense?
I cannot tell! It seemed a thou-sand years,
To be alive against my will!What doom
For me, who hoped the grave to
be the end!
[ 27 ]
Towards tile Light
Could there be truth, then, in1 i- 1,tne L'evn S cree
Of an avenging God, who, merci-less,
Condemns all sinners to eternalhell?
If so, I meant to bravely meetmy Judge,
And to receive erect the cruelsentence.
I courage felt to calmly all en-dure -
If but the torture of suspensemight end.
Still time went on. . . In vainI claimed my doom.
[ 28 ]
Towards the Light
No Judge appeared! A cry ofkeen distress
Broke forth at last, deep frommy frenzied heart;
I clamoured wildly: "Oh, havemercy, Lord!
A voice at once replied from outthe gloom:
"What is thy wish? Whatfavour dost thou claim
From God, whom thou hast allthy life denied?"
I murmured humbly: "Lord, aray of Light!"
[ 29 ]
Towards the Light
At once a flash of Radiance fellon me,
And I beheld myself! Oh, bittershame!
Most ghastly is that moment forthe man
Who lived in utter darkness hereon earth.
Pray for the blind, that theymay not despair
When after death at last theiropened eye
Shrinks from the sight whichthey are forced to see,
A human heart in hideous naked-ness!
Towards the Light
The angels of the Lord beholdit trembling,
And turn away at once theirshuddering glance.
In abject shame the soui attemptsto hide,
And, full of anguish, begs forsolitude.
God grants that grace. The soulis left alone -
Alone ith all the shadows ofthe past.
I saw my earthly life glide pastin vision . .
Scene after scene, fbrgotten longago.
[ 3' ]
Towards the Lzht
How blind - insanely blind, hadI not been!
The sight of all my crimes con-founded me.
They crushed my spirit with theirleaden weight. .
At last I whispered: "Punish me,oh Lord!"
The voice replied: "God claimsno penalty
Sin punishes itself. Each evilseed
Allowed to grow in wantonliberty
Must bear its bitter crop of painand woe.
[ 32 ]
Towards the Light
The angels of the Lord no angerfeel
At human crime; they see its
fruit arid mourn.Unhappy spirit, thou hast asked
thy sentence ILearn, then, that long ago thy
fate was sealed.'There where thy treasure is,
thy heart will be.'Thus spake the Christ. These
words contain thy doom.Each man has something which
he dearest holdsHis God, - a fellow-creature, or
himself.
On earth he is at liberty to choose
[ 33 ]
Towards the Light
A treasure to be kept eter-iially.
The soul can after death no moreabandon
What during life it found mostfit to love.
What was thy treasure? Hapless
fool - behold it!"
A flood of light streamed downand I perceived
A lifeless body stretched uponthe floor
Amidst a pooi of blood. It wasmy corpse.
"Behold thy treasure! Thoucanst claim no other.
[ 34 ]
Towards tile Lzht
Thou art compelled to keep thycherished God.
Thou tnad'st an idol of a lumpof clay,
No more to leave it is thy awfuldoom .''
No, no ! " I shrieked, " I willnot thus be fettered
Ah! Loose me from the body Idestroyed!
I love no more this thing. Ihate to see it.
Oh, set me free! In mercy breakmy chains!
"Hark! Thou hast entered spiritlife unbidden;
[ 35]
Towards the Light
No room with us was yet pre-pared for thee.
The threshold of Eternity no manMay cross before his final hour
has struck.The plans of God no mortal ever
altered:He is the Master over Life and
Death.There is a lesson all on earth
must learnAnd none may slip away, the task
undone;Nor lightly fling the human garb
aside,
Until the soul is fit to leave itsdwelling.
[ 36 ]
Towards tile Light
Woe to the man who scorns thegift of life,
Who, greatly daring Heaven,would extinguish
The spark Divine, which burnswithin his soul!
The deed is vain, he only makesmore sure
The fate he has created by his acts.
The sacred tie, uniting soul andbody,
Is only severed at the Lord'sCorn in and.
The will of thy Creator links thyspirit
Still for a time to this poor clay.. . Submit!
[ 37]
Towards the Light
Learn to abide in patience -captive soul
The day when liberty shall dawnC 1 'ior tnee.
"So hope remains? My punish-ment will end?
I am not chained for all eternity ?"
I cried aloud, all thrilled withgratitude.
The angel answered: "Everypain will end.
One sin alone can never be for-given,
The sin of pride that does notwish for grace,
[ 38 ]
Towards the Light
For then the spirit dooms itselfto darkness.
God's arms are ever open. Everysoul
That struggles bravely upwardsfinds the Light.
Though far the Goal yet it isreached at last !"
I murmured low: "Most merci-ful thou art.
Oh, glorious angel, let me knowthy name."
"Canst thou not guess it? OftenI approached
Thy stony heart and strove togain admittance,
[ 39 1
Towards tile Light
But was repelled as soon as I
drew near.I am the mournful angel men
call Grief!The Lord of Mercy sends me
down to earthTo show the way, which leads
men up to Him.I sow in sinful hearts contrition's
seed,
Then buds humility from burn-ing shame.
The yearning soul strives hard toleave the mire;
Though weak and trembling stillit bravely seeks
[40]
Towards tile Light
To climb the thorny path towhich I point.
Then hasten to his aid the RadiantH ost,
Who, in the name of Christ,work deeds of love.
Their gentle hands cannot removeall pain,
But they give strength to bearthe heavy cross.
They fill the weary soul withhope and courage,
And whisper promises of comingbliss.
The pilgrim soon is taught tofix his gaze
[ 4']
Towards the Lz,ht
Above the darkness of this presentworld,
Up to the distant home whereall is peace.
For thee there still remains thycrown to earn
Of Faith and Hope and Charityentwined.
These thou must tend and nourishin thy heart,
But first the arduous task of'Patience' learn!"
How desolate and cold the grave-yard seemed!
My only home in dismal winter-nights
[ .z ]
Towards tile Light
If I had better used the gift oflife
Preparing me a nest in faithfulhearts,
My frozen soul might now havebeen their guest,
And found relief and warmth atfriendly hearths.
Alas! On earth was none ofhuman kind
Whose grief attracted with mag-netic power
My wretched soul, by all aliveforgotten.
I was alone in solitary gloom,The one companion leftmy
lifeless frame.[ 43 ]
Towards the Light
Despairingly I searched a thou-sand graves
In hope to find another, living soul
Chained to the empty forms thatmouldered here
Beneath the snow. . . . Alas! Itwas in vain!
Each soul had left the worn-outshell of dust
In former days the object of itspride.
Each one had gladly flown. I
I aloneWas still a captive in this place
of dread,Indissolubly fettered to my
corpse.
[44]
Towards the Lzhi
No thing on earth e'er filled mewith such loathing!
My ghastly treasure! . . . Withintense disgust
Day after day I watched its slowdecay.
Sometimes the broken eyes wouldseem to weep
As though, attempting to expressmy grief,
They fain would bring me therelief of tears. .
One night I wandered round thedreary grounds
And reached the gate. Then inthe dismal darkness
[ 451
Towards tile Light.
I heard a broken sob, a feeblewailing.
Who could it be? Who brokethe ghastly silence?
A living being? If sowhycame he here?
It was a child, a small desertedchild,
Left here to perish in the wintersnow.
I felt compassion for the tinywaif
Who softly sobbed himself tosleep forever,
And anger 'gainst the motherwho could leave
[46 1
Towards f he Light
Her child alone to meet a frozendeath.
What punishment too great forsuch a sin?
What could atone for such a crueldeed?
In righteous wrath I cried:"Accurst be she
Who has abandoned this defence-.less child!"
Like clap of thunder rang theanswer forth:
"Man, who art thou, who darestthus call down
The holy wrath of God upon thysister?
[ 47 ]
Towards the Light
The sinner thou hast recklesslycondemned
Thou shalt behold! Repent thymalediction
Leave to thy God, the StrongAvenger's hands
The care of vindicating martyr'sblood!"
Beside me stood an angel. Sad
and sternI found his look, which seemed
to pierce my soul.He grasped the hand I tremblingly
outstretched,Then, swift as thought, he swept
away with me.[ 48 ]
Towards the Light
He took me to the city where Ilived
In former days. We reached aden of vice,
Where during life I was a con-stant guest.
At his command I entered it
again. .
How weird, how strange appearedthe house of sin
Aghast, I saw among the shame-less crowd
Unnoticed guests from silent spirit-
worlds
Stand dark and threat'ning closebehind the living.
[ 49 1
Towards the Light
I saw how evil souls with deadlyhate
Urge fallen men to ever darkerdeeds;
I saw God's angels struggling hardto save
The sparks of virtue, not extin-guished yet.
This noisy palace was a battlefield,
Where little recked the mortalsthat their fate
Hung on the silent fight 'twixtlight and darkness.
But many gloomy spirits, too, Imarked,
Who did not fight, but wanderedround the place
[ 50 ]
Towards tile Light
In dismal watchfulness and dumbdespair.
These were the souls, who oncehad thriven there.
Mortals, who spend their lives inwanton revels,
Mourn bitterly, when solemndeath appears,
And sternly summons them toleave this world.
They strive against their lot. . .
They fain would lingerStill on this earth, whose vilest
pleasures
Emprison after death their haplesssouls.
Towards tile Light
They have no strength to rendthe loathsome fetters,
That vice has forged. Earth'sjoys they still remember. .
Alas, poor slaves! They love andmiss them yet.
Their evil lusts remain and torturethem
Since they no longer can be satisfied.
Thus they remain until desire isdead,
Compelled to watch the sins ofliving men.
At length they loathe the verysight of vice.
Then slowly they forget theirlow delights:
[52]
Towards the Lzht
Unclean remembrances are sweptaway. .
The soul begins to long for purerair
And lifts its weary glance fromdismal earth.
Till lo! It sees a ray of distantheaven
And stretches unaccustomed armsin prayer. .
The heavy chains slip off: thesoul is free
Magnetic force attracts it up toGod.
When no regrets enchain the soulto earth
[ 3 ]
Towards the Light
Then it is lifted up by ardentlonging
To radiant spheres, that it can-
not approachUntil it learns that. Death means- Liberty.
I noticed then a spirit standingby,
With wistful gaze intently benton me.
How well I knew the form. . .
It was my mother!I flew to greet her with a cry of
joy,But she drew back avoiding my
embrace.
[ 54 1
Towards tile Light
On earth my mother's arms werenever closed
Against the son she tenderlyadored.
Now mournfully she pointedto the crowd
Surrounding us. . . . With burn-ing shame I cried:
Oh, Mother! Mother! Have Ibrought you here?"
She bowed her head in silent,tearless sorrow. . .
Then brokenly she whispered:"OIj, my son !
You were my idol - dearer thanmy God,
[55]
[ 6 ]
Towards the Light
Who granted me the gift ofmotherhood.
Enthralled by trammels of anearthly love,
No soul can rise. The tie mustfirst be broken
The clay we worship from itsaltar flung.
When death approached, I
yearned to stay with you.I had my wish! I was no longer
free.
My love had grown a chain at-taching me
Close to your side. Invisible Istood
Towards tile Light
And read within your heart yourguilty thoughts. -
I followed you with horror tothis place. .
My son! My son ! You weremy pride and joy,
But now my head is bent inshame for you.
You added grievous burden to mycross
By dragging me with you todegradation."
I stood amazed and overcomewith grief:
"Oh! Mother! Dearest mother- pardon me!
[ 57 ]
Towards the Light
I did not know. . . Oh! hadI only guessed
That your pure eyes could seemy darkest deeds,
My evil angel should not haveprevailed.
Nay, I had fought him then withmight and main.
No man on earth can surely beso fallen,
That he would plunge in vice, ifbut he knew
His mother's eyes could followhim. . . . Each one
Would shudder at the thoughtthat the departed,
[58 ]
Towards the Light
Dear to his heart, was thus com-pelled to be
A silent witness to his hiddensins
Atrocious is my doom! Yet -well deserved. .
But you! What crime is yours?Your love for me?
Are mothers punished for theirdeep devotion?
Unjust is He, who such a verdictpassed."
The shade of holy wrath, whichlong had darkened
My mother's tender features, van-ished now.
[ 59 ]
Towards tile Light
She gently smiled: "Do not soquickly judge
The sacred laws, you fail to un-derstand.
If keener pain is measured outto me
Than I deserve - I suffer not invain!
It is for your dear sake . . . I
murmur not.One day, my grief shall be your
gain, my child.When once you truly grasp the
love of Christ,Who suffered meek a thousand
pangs for us,
[ 6o ]
Towards the Ltht
Then, at the rnem'ry of yourmother's grief
You will adore the mercy of theLord."
"You love me still althoughyou now have gazed
Into the deep abyss, down whichI fell?"
I cried, all tremblingwith sur-prise and joy.
Then in a whisper soft theanswer came:
"I love you still - but now withtender pity.
My blind devotion helped to ruinyou.
{ 6t ]
Towards the Light
No mortal man is fit to be adored;I worship you no more! My
broken idolHas lost the power to enthral
my heart.Woe unto me! . . . I knew not,
in my blindness,
That women harm the men theylong to serve
By giving all and claiming noth-ing. Love
Must be the recompense of noblestrife;
A price to victory then it is
precious!
The love a man deserveshevalues high;
[ 6z ]
Towards the Liht
The love unearned, despises wan-tonly.
Once I was weak - the slave ofmy own heart;
Now I am strong: the ruler ofmy love.
It has no more the power to holdme down;
Strength from above is grantedit - to raise
"Oh, mother dear! Do notabandon me!
I am unworthy of your love"- I cried.
"But do not leave me, hopelessand alone!
[ 63]
Towards tile Light
You have your liberty: I still amchained. . .
Remain with me, though you atlast are free !
She answered gently: "Such asacrifice
Would bring no benefit to you,my son.
My mother-heart would gladlyshare your woe
If, by the sharing, I might rendyour bonds.
Alas! Each spirit has t6 fightalone
The strenuous battle with thelower self.
[ 64 ]
Towards the Light
No othqr back than ours maybear our load;
No human aid can drag for usour cross.
The only help I can bestow-is prayer.
Allow no hopeless sorrows to
consume you,Because I am compelled to leave
your side.My yearning lifts me upward:
you will followWhen you have learned to meekly
bear your fate.Be brave! For every victory you
gain
[ 6 ]
Towards the Light
You will receive sweet comfort1irom aDove.
My mother vanished. I was leftalone. .
No friend in all this crowd! I
felt myselfAbandoned, lost and utterly for-
lorn,'My heart was filled with bitter-
ness intense.Then to the angel at my side I
turned:"Behold! Oh Lord! Even my
mother shuns me. .
Let me return unto my lonelygrave!
[ 66 ]
Towards the Lz/zt
I will not linger in this noisycrowd:
Abhorrent to me is the sightof sin,
I suÆered less in my dark solitude."
"Remember thy companion atthy grave,"
The angel gently said. "Fulfilthy mission I
The child is still alive. Gofind its mother
And crush her with thy righteousmalediction
Behold the woman in that cornercrouching. . .
[ 67 ]
Towards the Light
Draw near! 'T is she - go andobserve her well."
In silence I reluctantly obeyed.The pangs of grief had cooled
my earlier wrathRevengeful thoughts within me
long had died.What could I have to do with
that poor creatureHer shocking sin was no concern
of mine.I could not clearly see the woman's
face,
For she had hidden it with bothher hands,
[ 68 ]
Towards the Light
And 'gainst the table restedwearily.
Exhausted, desperate, she seemedtobe
A wounded animal that yearns todie. .
She could not laugh, as others ofher trade,
Nor weep. . . . The fountain ofher tears had dried.
I watched the hapless creaturetill my heart
Grew soft to her. The angelwhispered low:
"This is the woman, thou hastdared to curse!
[ 69 ]
Towards the Light
Remembrance of her child nowtortures her. .
Behold her grief! What panghast thou to add
To crush more utterly that brokenheart?
Why art thou silent? Dost thoufear to judge
The fallen sister, who before theestands?
God's justice she shall not con-front alone:
There is a man whose sin is
greater still.
That babe a father had! It washis duty
[ 70 ]
Towards the Li/it
To give protection unto child andmother.
He cast them both aside! Thiscoward deed
For vengeance cries to heaven,though on earth
Such acts are not condemned byhuman laws.
God made man strong that hemight help the weak
Whom now he ruins, careless
of remorse.Behold this woman here, so deeply
sunken!There was a time when she was
sweet and pure;
[ 7' ]
Towards the Light
Her only treasure her chasteinnocence -
She, thoughtless, gave away withlavish hands.
The man she loved and trustedtook the gift
And in return gave lifelong shameand grief.
He needed ot her love. . . . Anidle hour
It gratified a passing whim no
more!Cold scorn and mockery assailed
her stepsWherever with her nameless child
she went.
[72]
Towards the Light
Each door was closed. . . . Thisone alone was open;
So in despair the little one she left.Who for this crime should justly
bear the blame?"
Impulsively I cried: "The heart-less father
He murdered both the motherand the child.
So base a scoundrel is not fit1 Ito live!
The angel murmured: "Look ather once more
And beg thy God to be a lenientJudge!"
[ 73 ]
Towards the Light
I looked and looked againwith wonder filled.
And suddenly it seemed to me Iknew her. .
Her bended form familiar wasto me.
I sought 'mid half forgottenmemories: 7
I must have known ier - surely,ah! But where?
She raised her face: I saw thepallid features. .
Oh God! 'twas shethe happy,playful child,
Whose rosy lips-alas-hadtempted me.
[ 74 1
Towa,!ds the Light
I recognised the spot beneath thecurls,
Where I had kissed her last withlanguid lips.
I sank together with a shudderingcry.
The angel sternly said: "Thouart the man!
The helpless infant, flung awayto perish,
Whom thou hast deigned to pityis thy son.
The tiny victim waits. . . . Come,
watch him die !
Once more I stood beside thelonely spot,
[75]
Towards tile Light
Where - on his bed of snow -the boy was resting.
He was alive as yet, a1thouh thebreathing
Could scarcely be perceived, sofaint it was.
I bent despairing o'er the pros-trate form
And cried aloud in bitter help-lessness
"Oh, could I purchase with athousand pangs
One hour of life - that life I
once disdained,How quickly I would fly to
summon help.
[ 6 ]
Towards the Lzht
My hapless child, thou wouldstnot perish thus!"
My sigh no echo raised. . . . Itdied unheard.
The howling gale alone gave meresponse
By heaping higher drifts ofglitt'ring snow
All round that fragile wreck ofhuman life.
The child would perish if nohelp arrived. . .
No hope was possible yet stillI hoped!
It could notshould not be . .
I must prevent[77]
Towards the Light
My crime from reaping such abitter harvest.
Alas I I had no power to help.I felt
My utter- nothingness. My verysoul
Rose up to God in ardent suppli-cation.
In that dark hoúr of anguishfaith was born -
Faith in the mighty Lord, whosehand can snatch
Away from death its victims. I
attemptedTo lift my being on the wings
of prayer,
[ 78 ]
Towards the Ligin'
Humbly imploring God to sparemy child.
I then perceived a multitude ofangels;
Their silver voices chanted"Pray as we:
Thy will be done in heaven andon earth,
Oh God of love, forever and for-ever!"
I sank again down from thedazzling worlds
To which my ardent thoughthad tried to soar;
Half blinded by the glories thereperceived
[ 79 1
Towards tith Light
I never dared to stammer forthmy prayer.
How dismal, cold and dark theearth appeared.
Poor child! Why had I wishedto chain him there?
No! No! I ought no longer toprevent
His pure, white soul from takinginstant flight
Straight to the arms of Christthe children's friend.
A martyr's crown waits thosewho meekly suffer
For others' guilt. . . . My sonhad won that crown.
[ 8o ]
Towards the Light
"Ah! What is this? Whencecomes this wondrous light
Which now illuminates the nightwith brilliance?
It emanates from me!" I sawa flame,
Which issued from my icy heart't was love.
That spark from heaven, kindledby my child,
Was fed with burning fuel ofrepentance.
All thrilled with joy, I felt astream of warmth,
Of radiant light, all through mybeing glow.
[ 8i ]
Towards the Light
At last I knew how sweet it is
to love,And felt most grateful to have
learned that lesson.
The end drew near. . . . A snow-white childish soul
Emerged from out its brokenfragile shell
And I drew back, not daring toapproach,
Lest he in terror should recoilfrom me,
And shun the father who hadgiven him
The wretched gift of life, - andnothing else.
[ 8z ]
Towards the Light
The child was gazing out.He felt alone
There on the threshold of thatunknown world
To which he had been sum-moned. Would he still
No father find, with shelteringarms outstretched?
On earth his greeting was a
mother's tears. .
Though innocent, he was thechild of shame.
He had been born. . . . Thatwas his oniy crime!
Was not that crime by deathatoned in full?
[ 83 ]
Towards the Liht
Now that to spirit life he hadreturned,
Was there no father who hisduty knew?
He looked around and then per-ceived at last
The flame, which from my soulleapt forth to meet him:
"1 missed thee, whom I neverknew on earth!"
He whispered, nestling in myhungry arms
"Oh father, where thou stayest,let me stay !
"No! No! Around me all is
cold and dreary. . .
[ 8 ]
Towards the Light
Poor child, I will not share withthee my woe.
My crime against thee would stillmore oppress me
If I delayed thy luminous ascent.Look up! Behold the thousand
stars of heavenThy home is there! Spread out
thy snowy wings!I love thee. Gladly will I now
renounceThe joy thy presence would have
given me.Farewell, we soon shall meet. I
follow thee,When in His mercy, God my
pardon seals."[ 8 ]
Towards the Light
The child then cried "See, seethy chain is broken!
Oh father! Thou art free! Whatblessed joy.
Now, hand in hand to heaven wecan rise
We two togetheralways.God is good!"
\Vhat glorious bliss it was at lastto fly
Away from cloudy earth in liberty
And to approach. the sun, whosegolden rays
Surrounded us with roseate bril-hancy.
Divinely fair is the eternal dawn,[ 86 ]
Towards the Light
Which greets the first ascensionof the soul.
Its wondrous splen dour mirrorsfaintly forth
The great Creator's own magnificence.
Praise, glory and thanksgivingunto God,
Who made the sun - an emblemof Himself.
The human eye cannot endureits radiance
When spirits lift their glance toit they tremble
And reverently bend in adorationOf that sun's origin, the Source
of Life.[ 87 ]
Towards the Light
Man can by virtue of his thoughtscreate
A tiny world of beauty for him-self.
The thoughts of God gave birthto lustrous heavens;
The stars are a reflection of Hisglory.
Life, Love and Light composethe Trinity.
A myriad sparks proceeded fromthat source.
Each spark must grow till itbecomes a flame,
Which through Eternity will notbe quenched.
[ 88 ]
Towards the Light
How is the soul to grow? Throughsorrow only,
For grief makes man grow greaterthan himself.
Affliction winnows tares from outthe wheat. .
The wheat grows up. . . . It isthe crop of God.
Behold the drops of rain, whichfall from heaven;
They mingle briefly with thedust of earth,
Until the sun recalls them fromthe clay,
And lifts each sparkling drop upto the skies.
[89 ]
Towards the Light
So shall at last each wand'ringsoul return
Unto the Source of Life fromwhich it flowed,
There to enjoy communion withthe Christ
And merge in perfect unison withGod.
There is no Paradise of idle rest,Where blessed spirits dwell in
aimless joy.The highest goal to which we
can aspireIs to resemble God. To reach
that endWe struggle upwards through a
million years.[90]
Towards the Liç/zt
Eternal hope brings us eternaljoy:
We paradise create within ourbreast.
When Sorrow comes to visit
human hearts,That Angel's mission is to sweep
the TempleWhere God Himself elects in
grace to dwell.We follow in the mighty steps
of GriefWith gentle tread and cool the
burning wound;We kiss away the tear which hides
the sky.[ 91]
Towards the Light
Another Angel comes. . . . Hisname is PEACE.
He finds in broken hearts a
resting place.
rFo ev'ry spot on earth whereprayers rise
We quickly fly and carry themto heaven,
Descending swift with blessingfrom above.
We watch in patience by the bedof pain
And guide the falt'ring steps ofinfant souls;
We fill the poet's dreams withwondrous beauty,
[92 1
Towards the Light
And bid him hear a strain ofangels' songs.
His silent sobs we melt inharmony. .
His highest thought is but a giftfrom us.
Say! Can there bea fairer paradise?
Can mortals dream a joy exceed-ing ours?
Like Christ, we always sacrificeourselves,
Yet keep eternally more than wegive.
Now dawn is near. . . . Thy lampis burning low
[ 93 ]
Towards the Light
Thy weary head sinks down inlassitude.
Thy task is done: Our spiritchild created!
Fruit of my thoughtit hasgrown up in thee;
In pain brought forth, but yet oflove begotten.
The seed he bears within is LifeEternal.
That seed will germinate in
bleeding heartsAnd ripen to a crop of richest
blessing.
BOVIC.NY CHAPEL, BELGIUM.Midsummernight, 1899.
[94]