iC.A.R.E. Mentoring TOOLKIT

Dear Mentor: On behalf of everyone at iC.A.R.E. Mentoring, thank you for choosing to be a champion for children through offering your resources, gifts, talents, abilities and time to be a mentor who will never give up on your mentee. Our mission is to build champions with self-confidence, self-esteem and resilience to triumph over life’s difficult challenges and obstacles. Your commitment solidifies that your student will engage in a sustained relationship with at least one caring adult; YOU! We are committed to providing you with the highest level of encouragement and support possible. Read through your manual periodically to refresh you on your role as a mentor and use the tools to help you engage your mentee every time you meet. If for any reason you have questions, comments or concerns, we are delighted to hear from you. You can expect us to respond to your request and help you be the best mentor you can possible be, to help your mentee become the best they can possibly be. Again, thank you for your commitment. We look forward to serving alongside of you! Authentically, JONATHAN A. GREER Director, iC.A.R.E. Mentoring United Way of Summit County 90 North Prospect Street, Akron, OH 44304 Tel: 330-643-5528 Fax: 330-762-0317 jgreer@uwsummit.org uwsummit.org Join us on Facebook | Twitter | YouTube | Instagram | Pinterest

Mentor Job Description

Purpose:

To give a student in need of social, developmental and emotional support the companionship of a caring adult. Students

need a consistent adult role model in their lives. We train and support mentors to spend one hour each week with a

student, for at least one school year.

Mentor Duties/Responsibilities:

Responsible for meeting with the assigned mentee for one hour a week.

Act as a resource and guide to the student.

Work with iC.A.R.E. staff through phone contact, personal conferences and group meetings if needed.

Serve as a positive example/role model.

Accept and relate to youth who may not share the mentor’s lifestyle and values.

Respect the mentee’s right to self-determination and independence.

Policy and Procedures:

Mentoring is to occur at the designated school only. There will be opportunities for you to connect with your mentee

outside of the school through socials, banquets and summer programs held by the iC.A.R.E. staff.

Mentors should not share contact information with students and/or parents (phone numbers, emails, social media, etc.).

iC.A.R.E. staff will coordinate contacts and meetings between both parties. There are specific liability issues which arise

when contacts are received and have not been allowed or warranted by either parties. Your responsibility as a mentor is

to connect with the child and to consider the thoughts and feelings of the parents/guardians about how they would feel if

someone was communicating with their child without their permission.

Posting content and comments to iC.A.R.E. Mentoring social media pages is allowed but if you are to post on any form of

social media about your mentee you must refrain from using their last name; first name only.

Mentor Requirements/Qualifications:

Be able to submit to and pass a background check

At the initial training you will submit to both BCI/FBI checks. Random checks are possible. If a mentor terminates

their commitment and then decides to return, a new background check must be cleared.

Willing spirit

Openness to cultural differences

Good listening skills

Patience

Commitment to our youth

Matching process:

Matches will be made on the basis of interests, skills, background, knowledge and temperament of both the

student and the mentor.

Benefits for Mentors:

Training in communication skills, the role of a mentor and youth development

Increased skills in working with youth

Insight into the lives of a youth and youth culture

The privilege of interacting with a student open to being guided by a caring adult

Mentors commit themselves to 1 hour a week of mentee engagement and participate in training and professional development. Mentors will agree to keep their word, honor the process and respect the iC.A.R.E. Mentoring guidelines.

1. Potential volunteers must complete the following criteria prior to serving as a mentor:

a. Attend initial mentor training b. Complete volunteer application c. Agree to and pass background checks

2. Background checks will be repeated on a random basis. If a mentor breaks agreement, that mentor must agree to and pass the background check prior to reinstatement.

3. Mentors will commit to meeting with mentee for one hour, once a week, for one full school year.

4. Mentors will be required to contact and notify iC.A.R.E. staff of an upcoming absence 24 hours in advance of their regularly scheduled meeting with their mentee.

5. Mentors understand that participation in school activities is a privilege. Those who wish to have the privilege of participating as a mentor must conduct themselves in accordance with the School Board policy and must refrain from activities which are illegal, immoral and unhealthy. Mentors should expect to be held accountable by iC.A.R.E. program standards and will defer to school staff in cases of incidents involving school staff and students.

6. Mentors will never physically discipline a child or verbally threaten to do so.

7. Mentors are required to complete online progress reports for each Mentor- Mentee session. .

Complete the section below and sign that you have read and agreed to the mentor description and service agreement. Please answer the following questions as they help our staff make the appropriate mentor-mentee matches!

Share your strengths and expertise (check all that apply): Academic Performance At-Risk Youth Sports Self-Esteem Social Skills Adult Relationships

.

Media consent (read statement below), then indicate by checkbox: Yes No

I hereby represent that I am over the age of 18, and I hereby grant the iC.A.R.E. Mentoring program the absolute and irrevocable right and unrestricted permission in

respect of photographic portraits, likenesses or pictures, video or audio recordings, that have been taken of me or in which I may be included with others. iC.A.R.E.

may use, publish, and republish the same photographs or recordings in whole or in part, individually, in any and all media now or hereafter, and for any purpose

whatsoever, for illustration, promotion, art, editorial, advertising and trade, or any purpose whatsoever without restriction as to alteration; and to use my name if the

iC.A.R.E. Mentoring program chooses. I hereby release and discharge iC.A.R.E. Mentoring any and all claims and demands arising out of or in connection with the use

of such photographs, video or audio recordings including, without limitation, any and all claims for libel or invasion of privacy. I have the right to make decisions on

my own behalf. I have read the foregoing and fully understand the contents thereof. This release shall be binding upon my heirs, legal representatives, and assigns.

NAME _____________________________________________________ TODAY’S DATE __________________________

ADDRESS __________________________________________________________________________________________

PRIMARY PHONE _______________________________ ALTERNATIVE PHONE _________________________________

EMAIL ____________________________________________________________________________________________

DOB __________________________________________________ (check one please) MALE ________ FEMALE ________

SIGNATURE ________________________________________________________________________________________

SCHOOL EMPLOYEE (Please check the box if you are an employee of the local school district being served)

iC.A.R.E. Mentoring is committed to matching students with the best possible fit for the student’s current needs.

Are you open to working with students of the opposite sex? Yes No

Student grade preference (check all that apply): Elementary Middle High

What are we (iC.A.R.E. Mentoring) all about?

Authentic mentoring

relationships

without agendas!

This and only this should drive our weekly visits!

MENTOR QUICK GUIDE

Checklist for day of mentoring:

Contact school and/or cluster coordinator before going Sign in at office Spend at least 30 minutes with mentee Sign out at office Log visit on iC.A.R.E. Website

Qualities of a Successful Mentor

Ability to accept different points of view Accessibility Consistency Flexibility and openness Kindness and patience Persistence Personal commitment Respect for youth Sense of humor Willingness to listen Willingness to share life experiences

A Mentor should not play the role of a. . . .

Doctor or nurse Financier Legal guardian Parent Priest or minister Probation officer Professional counselor Social worker

Visiting

Before visiting discuss your regular visiting time with your mentee, it is important that the time be a good time for both of you, to ensure your work schedule and their required class schedule are not negatively impacted. If possible, make it the same time every week. On the day you plan to visit your mentee, you should contact the school to ensure the student is present before driving to the school.

Challenges

Mentoring is not easy. It can be difficult establishing a relationship with a mentee, especially if that individual has had poor relationships in the past. You may encounter challenges and this is normal. It is important that you seek assistance, rather than giving up. Many of your peer volunteers may have had the same challenges; you can always reach out to them or your iC.A.R.E. team member for assistance.

Difficult Circumstances

Many students in APS schools may have serious and difficult situations in their home life situations. If you become aware of some problem or abuse taking place or any other information regarding a situation you may not be

equipped to handle, it is important that you reach out to your school contact. They are here to support you in these types of situations.

Getting to Know Your Student

Be certain that you and your student know what name you would each to be called Refrain from judging and making assumptions Be willing to share your own life experiences – successes and failures Tell your student why you want to be a Mentor Explain the confidentiality policy with the student (i.e. what you will not tell others and what you must tell

others) Find experiences/interest that you and your student have in common Talk about less personal things in the beginning Ask open-ended questions Discuss expectations you each have of your relationship Make a list of activities you might want to do together ( On site or follow site policies for off site activities)

The “How To’s” of Mentoring:

Remember, People aren’t projects, don’t try to fix your mentee, but understand and appreciate them. A major part of building and establishing lasting relationships is the understanding and appreciation of

people and their differences. Recognizing that your perspective of a person or situation fuels your thoughts and behaviors about and toward them will help you better identify confrontation and conflict that you could potentially bring to the table when meeting with your mentee. Your perspective is the difference between ordinary and extraordinary. Since your perspective is so critical to relationship building, it would be wise to evaluate self and recognize certain hurdles that could hinder relationship building between you and your mentee.

The key to building a lasting relationship is being a friend, and understanding that it takes time to impart

knowledge to your mentee. To build a good relationship with your mentee: • Be prepared • Be patient • Listen Your mentee may engage in behaviors that you know aren’t good for them and often will do things to test

whether you will leave as others have in the past, but MENTORS don’t break rank with their mentees, regardless of ensuing consequences that mentees must accept due to inappropriate and improper behavior.

Communication Skills

Eliminate personal, physical and psychological barriers Acknowledge listening with responses or body motion Exercise emotional control Refrain from making extreme statements Maintain soft eye contact Listen without giving approval or offering solutions Ensure that you understand what is said or felt Respond in your own natural way Encourage dialogue if you need more information Look for other clues such as tone of voice, facial expression, or gestures Listen for ideas and feelings, not just for facts

Recognize Learning Styles

One way to frame learning styles is to talk about learners in terms of: Auditory, Visual and Tactile/Kinesthetic

Auditory Learner

How to spot one: tells jokes, tells interesting stories, knows all the words to songs, remembers names and not faces, talks constantly, interrupts, willingly contributes to conversation.

How to teach one: teach him/her to talk through tasks, encourage him/her to spell out loud, play rhyming games, provide audiotapes and record lessons, pair him/her with a visual learner, create study groups

Visual Learner

How to spot one: likes to look at books/pictures, loves to look at orderly things, finds objects other have lost, sees details, find place in a book readily, likes to work puzzles, watches the teacher’s face for cues, remembers faces and forgets names, has difficulty understanding oral directions

How to teach one: give visual directions and demonstrations, play matching games, provide charts and graphs, use maps and map legends, color code information, use dictionaries, teach with rulers and number lines, make flashcards

Tactile/Kinesthetic Learner

How to spot one: explores environment, needs concrete objects as learning aids, like to be physically close to others, wants to touch/feel everything, enjoys doing things with hands, writes everything out, moves constantly

How to teach one: use manipulative, use writing, write on large surfaces like chalkboards and sidewalks, allow movement during learning, take frequent movement breaks, and provide concrete objects for counting/sequencing/categorizing, break things into steps/stages

Mentoring English as a Second Language (ESL)

ESL students vary widely in their English proficiency and their knowledge of America cultural norms, depending upon a multitude of factors:

Their length of time in US Their proficiency in reading and writing their native language Their parents’ social status and level of education in their home country

While it is good to learn as much as we can about other cultures, it is important to keep in mind that there is a lot of variation within and between groups. It is best to avoid making assumptions and to treat each child as a unique individual.

Use a translator if student is not proficient in English. Check to be sure the student understands you speak slower and more clearly, not louder. Avoid using slang and idiomatic expressions. Help the student understand American cultural norms by asking about their culture and discussing similarities and differences with American culture

52 Mentor Activities: An activity for each week!

Feel free to change the activities to fit your mentee’s interest, or come up new activities! 1) “Mentees are teachers!” Let your mentee plan to teach you something they are knowledgeable about, and let them teach it. 2) “Go on a trip!” Not really of course, but choose a place you have always wanted to visit (Fiji, Greece, Disney World) find pictures and fun facts in magazines, books and online. When is the best time to go? What do you want see while you are there? Then make your own scrapbook or traveler’s guide. A great way to explore and learn geography! 3) Play the “Who, what, when, where, why, how” game. Rip 6 pieces of paper and on each write “who”, “what”, “when”, “where”, “why” and “how”. Read a story, and take turns drawing one of the pieces of paper and answering a made up “who”, “what”, “when”, “where”, “why” or “how” about the story. 4) “Learn a language!” Learn Sign language, Spanish, Latin or Pig Latin! Teach each other a new word or phrase at each session. Write them down to keep track and see how many you can remember. 5) “Show and Tell!” You and your mentee can both bring in photos or items that important to you. 6) Set a goal 7) “Act it out!” Go to the library find a play, and read it out loud. 8) Make your own board game. 9) You can each make a list of 25 things you want to do or accomplish during your lifetime and share it with one another. 10) “Write a letter!” Talk to your school’s mentor coordinator about finding a pen pal for you and your mentee at their school (the principal or guidance counselor), abroad or with armed service member. a. For younger students you can work on your letter together letting them dictate to you or maybe help to write. 11) “Serve!” Come up with a service project you can do at your mentee’s school. Plant flowers or plan to read to a lower grade. 12) “Rubber Egg?!” Do the rubber egg experiment or another egg experiment. Plan it out, come up with a hypothesis and make sure to get permission from your mentor coordinator. (http://www.eggs.ab.ca/kids/Egg%20Science/splash.htm) 13) “Check mate!” Teach each other how to play chess or checkers, get a book from the library to figure out how. 14) “Extra, extra!” Pretend you are a newspaper reporter and schedule to interview someone interesting in your school. Prepare a list of questions with your mentee and see if you can set‐ up an interview with a teacher, the school nurse, the PE teacher or the principal. 15) Make a bird feeder. Do your research on what types of birds are in your area. Find out about each bird's preferred habitat and diet. With the right food, you may be able to attract some birds that you don't normally see otherwise. 16) “Story Swap!” Starts writing a story with your mentee, then each take turns taking the story home and adding new fun twist and turns to the story. 17) “What is onomatopoeia? Find out!” Each of you seek out new and interesting English words and share them at your next session. Make your own book of definitions. * Corresponding page numbers refer to the Creative Mentoring activity guide

52 Mentor Activities: An activity for each week! Feel free to change the activities to fit your mentee’s interest, or come up new activities! 18) “What’s your plan?” Make a timeline of your life over the next 5‐10 years. What do you want to accomplish by the time you are 10, 16, 18 and 25? 19) “Make a collage!” Choose a theme like: “What do I want in my future?”, “What is fashion“, “What I want to be”, and find pictures and words in old magazines and glue them on paper. a. For younger students you can collage a specific letter and cut pictures out that begin with that letter, or make a number chart finding and cutting out pictures of: 1‐ dog, 2‐ letter “w”, 3‐ shoes, etc. 20) “Play!” Learn how to play a new sport. Look up the rules, find clips, etc. of how to play cricket, hacky sack, or water polo. 21) Make a kite 22) Play Frisbee 23) Make a scrapbook or photo album 24) “Knit or Crochet!” Find books in the library or clips online on how to do it, and learn how together! 25) Paper Airplanes! Find a book or website about how to make different kinds of paper airplanes, and have a contest to see whose goes the farthest! 26) Discuss a current event 27) “Take a tour!” Let your mentee give you a tour of their school. 28) “Help wanted!” Fill out mock applications for jobs or help your mentee create their résumé. (http://sbandcompany.com/images/practice‐employmentapp.pdf or http://jobsearch.about.com/od/jobappsamples/a/sampleapp.htm) If the mentor has a résumé you may want to bring it, and share it with your mentee (Be sure to remove any personal information). 29) “Solve it!” You and your mentee both take time making up your own math worksheets, then swap sheets, set the timer and see how many each of you can get done. This is most beneficial as a skill/self‐esteem building activity if the mentor makes sure the math problems they create are on their mentee’s math

level. Your mentee will get a kick out of making your problems as difficult as they can! 30) Organize! Assist your mentee in organizing school work and developing study schedules. 31) Take your mentee’s spelling words and cut the letters to spell each word out of newspapers, magazines, and pictures (when applicable), etc. and make spelling word flashcards. 32) Play tic‐tac‐toe or the dot game 33) Go bird watching‐ or virtual bird watching. 34) Learn how to make Origami 35) Every day is a holiday! Make a card or draw a picture for any upcoming holiday like Arbor Day, or Talk like a Pirate Day 36) Write a haiku 37) Write a rap or a different style of song, especially as a method to help them remember key facts for a test or spelling words. 38) Play 20 questions 39) Put together a puzzle or make your own. * Corresponding page numbers refer to the Creative Mentoring activity guide

52 Mentor Activities: An activity for each week!

Feel free to change the activities to fit your mentee’s interest, or come up new activities! 40) Learn to play a new card game like “I declare war”, “Go Fish”, Hearts, Gin Rummy, Memory, Old Maid 41) Play hangman 42) Create a flip book 43) Learn to play chess 44) Play Sudoku 45) Practice positive imagery and relaxation techniques with your mentee. Find an area you would like to work on or improve and use positive imagery to start to make it happen! 46) Do a crossword puzzle or word search, or make your own! 47) Take turns reading a page, paragraph or sentence from funny story aloud. 48) Walk on the playground and find as many leaves as possible and then try to find which trees your leaves came from. 49) Teach your mentee a clapping game. 50) Make your family trees. 51) Play charades. 52) “It’s a mystery!” Write down a list of 10 things you’ve always wanted to know. “Why is it dark at night?” “How does a car work?” “How does an airplane fly?” Go to the library or go to the internet and figure out the answers! Other ideas:

Color or draw a picture

Play Math 24‐Card Game! Talk to your school coordinator for more details!

Check out these website for kids: o http://www.peacecorps.gov/kids/ o http://www.nasa.gov/audience/forkids/kidsclub/flash/index.html

Make your own cereal dispenser (http://pbskids.org/zoom/activities/sci/cerealdispenser.html)

Make your own water filter! (http://pbskids.org/zoom/activities/sci/waterfilter.html)

For the holidays. Because your mentee is younger they might not have a lot of their own money, help them make a list of what would really help the people on their list, and what they can do help. (Examples: Read a sibling a story, help around the house, help outside the house, write a story, make a card, etc.)

For more activity ideas please check‐out www.creativemenetoring.org

* Corresponding page numbers refer to the Creative Mentoring activity guide

Ten Hints for Handling Sensitive Situations

1. Sit at eye level with the other person. 2. Don't act surprised, shocked, or angry when hearing about the situation. But at the

same time be honest and understanding that it is a difficult situation. 3. Remain calm and compassionate about his/her experience in the situation. 4. Don't pressure the individual to tell more than he/she is comfortable telling but instead

use "open- ended" questions (questions that won’t elicit a "yes" or "no" response) to allow him/her to continue if he/she is comfortable.

5. Don't make judgmental statements about the situation (e.g. "How could they..."). 6. Acknowledge that he/she trusted you enough to tell you. 7. Reflect back to the person what feelings he/she is expressing ("That sounds scary."). 8. Affirm the person for using his/her coping skills and surviving. 9. Be honest about what you need to do with the information. 10. Brainstorm his/her options with him/her and offer appropriate resources.

Stages of a mentoring relationship

Mentoring Scenarios:

You suspect your mentee doesn't have enough money for groceries.

It’s important to understand that many students live in varying degrees of poverty and that these scenarios

put them in difficult situations that hurts their learning and overall social-emotional growth. When situations

like this arise, mentors should contact iC.A.R.E. Staff members so that staff members can work with the

schools to identify the resources that would fit for the particular scenario in order to support the student and

family with the service they need. Mentors or iC.A.R.E. staff are NOT permitted to purchase groceries for

students or family members but rather work with the school, who work with various non-profits and

agencies, to support students with every resource available to them.

You think one of your mentees might have feelings for you.

These situations occur as mentors and mentees build strong bonds but it is important to address the

scenario if and when it arises. Please ensure that you handle situations like these with care and fidelity

and set clear and firm boundaries to ensure that the relationship can continue in a positive and purposeful

way. Clear up any mixed messages that were shared from either party and remember, communication is

not only what is said but also what is heard from the hearer.

Your mentee just entered a relationship & it's getting serious fast. They just don't seem as

interested anymore, in mentoring or school.

There will be times when mentees will want to spend less time with their mentor and more time with friends

and/or friends they are dating. This is a good time to talk about dating and relationships but using an adult

perspective and not a parent lens. Remember, mentors are not to be disciplinarians or parents but to be

positive, purposeful, adult role models and friends to the mentees they work with. Often times, changing

the direction of the conversation to the things that they are interested in will cause them to want to

converse more about their current situation and use the mentor as a sounding board for good discussion

and learning.

One of your mentees has developed a drug addiction.

Utilize your school resources. Mentors must understand that they are a support and encouragement to

their mentees but that often can be misconstrued to becoming a counselor, with pure motives and

intentions, or an enabler, someone who conceals their struggle and subconsciously supports problematic

behavior. Talk to the mentee about the issue and be honest about what you need to do with the

information. Express concerns and help them understand and identify issues, concerns and help.

You suspect one of your mentees is being abused by someone they live with.

Remember, mentors are mandated reporters and NOT investigators. A mandated reporter is someone

required by law to report if they suspect or know that child abuse if occurring. A list of mandated reporters

for Ohio includes mentors. If a mentor suspects that abuse or neglect is occurring with their mentee, they

need to immediately talk with iC.A.R.E. staff and school staff to make the appropriate contact to the

appropriate services. Who to Call and When to Call? Children Services (CSB) at 330-434-KIDS (5437) or

contacting your local law enforcement agency. For child abuse or neglect emergencies, call any time

during the day, night, weekends, or holidays. Reports can be anonymous.

The mentor log must be completed after every session you complete with your mentee!