Tony Thampi 1 The Counseling Relationship Introduction to the Counselling Profession

Tony Thampi1

The Counseling RelationshipThe Counseling Relationship

Introduction to the Introduction to the CounsellingCounselling ProfessionProfession

Tony Thampi

Quick ReviewQuick Review

What is Counseling?

According to the American Counseling Association, counseling is:

“The application of mental health, psychological or human development principles, through cognitive, affective, behavioral or systemic interventions, strategies that address wellness, personal growth, or career development, as well as pathology.”

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What is Guidance?

“Guidance is a process of helping people make important choices that affect their lives, such as choosing a preferred lifestyle” (Gladding, 2000, pg. 4).

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What is Psychotherapy?

Traditionally focuses on serious problems associated with intrapsychic, internal, and personal issues and conflicts. It deals with the “recovery of adequacy” (Casey, 1996, p. 175 as quoted in your text).

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Our FocusOur Focus

While the boundaries between counseling, guidance, and psychotherapy are changing and blurring, we are going to focus our efforts on the application of counseling.

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Factors that Influence Factors that Influence ChangeChange

The counseling process is influenced by several characteristics that help it become a productive time for the client & counselor. Not all characteristics apply to all situations, but generally, the following help bring about positive results.

StructureStructureSettingSettingClient QualitiesClient QualitiesCounselor QualitiesCounselor Qualities

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Structure.The “joint understanding between the

counselor & client regarding the characteristics, conditions, procedures, and parameters of counseling” (Day & Sparacio, 1980, p.246).

This give form to what the formal processwill look like. Many clients come to counseling with no idea what to expect. Counseling moves forward when client and counselor know the boundaries of the relationship and what is expected.

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Physical Setting.

Counseling can happen anywhere, but the professional generally works in a place that provides -Privacy,Confidentiality, Quiet and Certain comfort

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S.O.L.E.R.S.O.L.E.R.

When working with a client, you want to send a message that you are listening.

This can be done by being attentive both verbally (responding to the client) and nonverbally.

SOLER is an acronym which serves to remind us how to listen.

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S: Face the client S: Face the client squarelysquarely; ; that is, adopt a posture that that is, adopt a posture that indicates involvement. indicates involvement.

O: Adopt an O: Adopt an openopen posture. Sit with both feet on the posture. Sit with both feet on the ground to begin with and with your hands folded, one ground to begin with and with your hands folded, one over the other.over the other.

L: As you face your client, L: As you face your client, leanlean toward him or her. Be toward him or her. Be aware of their space needs.aware of their space needs.

E: Maintain E: Maintain eyeeye contact. Looking away or down contact. Looking away or down suggests that you are bored or ashamed of what the client suggests that you are bored or ashamed of what the client is saying. Looking at the person suggests that you are is saying. Looking at the person suggests that you are interested and concerned.interested and concerned.

R: As you incorporate these skills into your attending R: As you incorporate these skills into your attending listening skills, listening skills, relaxrelax..

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Factors that Influence Factors that Influence Change: ClientChange: Client

Readiness or Reluctance or Resistance.Readiness can be thought of as the motivation

that the client brings into the session. How motivated are they to work? Their interest

Reluctance is generally seen in those clients who are referred for help by a third party and are unmotivated.

Resistance is generally seen in those clients who are forced into counseling. They bring a motivation to cling to their issues through various sorts of actions.

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Factors which influence Factors which influence changechange

Client & Counselor Qualities.

Counselors generally like to work with clients who are most like them. We are influenced by the physical characteristics of the client. It is important to be aware of how you work with all clients and offer your best work to all clients.

Clients, depending on culture, initially like to work with counselors who are perceived as experts, attractive, trustworthy.

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Some Basic PrinciplesSome Basic Principles Each client must be accepted as an Each client must be accepted as an

individual and dealt with as such (the individual and dealt with as such (the counselor does not necessarily approve of counselor does not necessarily approve of all behavior, but still accepts the client as all behavior, but still accepts the client as a person).a person).

Counseling is basically a permissive Counseling is basically a permissive relationship; that is, the individual has relationship; that is, the individual has permission to say what they please permission to say what they please without being reprimanded or judged.without being reprimanded or judged.

Counseling emphasizes thinking Counseling emphasizes thinking withwith; not ; not forfor the individual. the individual.

All decision-making rests with the client.All decision-making rests with the client.

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Some Basic PrinciplesSome Basic Principles Counseling is centered on the difficulties Counseling is centered on the difficulties

of the client.of the client.

Counseling is a learning situation which Counseling is a learning situation which eventually results in a behavioral change.eventually results in a behavioral change.

Effectiveness in counseling depends Effectiveness in counseling depends largely on the readiness of the client to largely on the readiness of the client to make changes and the therapeutic make changes and the therapeutic relationship with the counselor.relationship with the counselor.

The counseling relationship is The counseling relationship is confidential.confidential.

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The Initial SessionThe Initial Session

There is always an initial session. It is There is always an initial session. It is during this time both the client and the during this time both the client and the counselor are assessing one another to counselor are assessing one another to see if the relationship will work. It is see if the relationship will work. It is here the subject of the subsequent here the subject of the subsequent sessions will be discussed and sessions will be discussed and determined. determined.

There are several There are several skillsskills which are useful which are useful during this phase of counseling. during this phase of counseling.

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Gathering Information Gathering Information

Types of Questions:Types of Questions:

OpenOpen—allows the client to answer the —allows the client to answer the question in a free-flowing or narrative style. question in a free-flowing or narrative style. Used when you want more detailed and Used when you want more detailed and elaborate answers. elaborate answers. Tell me how this is working for you?Tell me how this is working for you?

ClosedClosed—this type of question requires only a —this type of question requires only a one or two word response. Usually…Yes or one or two word response. Usually…Yes or No. No. Do you enjoy that type of work?Do you enjoy that type of work?

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Gathering InformationGathering Information

Types of Questions:

ProbesProbes—a questions which begins with a who, what, where, how, or when.What do you plan to do to complete your project?

Requests forRequests for ClarificationClarification—Asking the client for more information.Help me understand what this relationship is for?

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Gathering Information & Gathering Information & Building the RelationshipBuilding the Relationship

When you can take the time to build the relationship with the client & gather information, there are other skills which you must possess and develop. In efforts to build the relationship, you would concentrate more on the client’s attitudes and emotions. The skills you need include the following:

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Restatement/Content ParaphrasingRestatement/Content Paraphrasing.A re-statement of what you heard the client say

in slightly different words.

Reflection of FeelingReflection of Feeling.Similar to a re-statement, but you are

concentrating more on the emotional aspect & the non-verbal communication.


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Summary of FeelingsSummary of Feelings.A simple summary paraphrase of several

feelings which have been verbalized (non-verbal

and verbal).

Acknowledgement of Non-verbal Acknowledgement of Non-verbal BehaviorBehavior.You are noting to the client what you are

seeing. You are not interpreting the non-verbal content.


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A Touchy Subject—TouchingA Touchy Subject—TouchingTouching a client is very Touching a client is very

problematic in today’s problematic in today’s society. Touch society. Touch appropriately is a major appropriately is a major concern for counselors. It concern for counselors. It is a powerful way to is a powerful way to communicate caring and communicate caring and empathy. It can also be empathy. It can also be easily misunderstood, easily misunderstood, misconstrued, and misconstrued, and damaging to the counseling damaging to the counseling relationship. relationship.

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Some Non-Helpful BehaviorsSome Non-Helpful Behaviors

There are several lists of non-helpful behaviors. Most common among them include: Advice GivingAdvice Giving

LecturingLecturing Excessive QuestioningExcessive Questioning StorytellingStorytelling Asking “Why?”Asking “Why?” Asking “How did that Asking “How did that

make you feel?” make you feel?”

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A Word About GoalsA Word About Goals

Goals within counseling help to set the tone and direction one travel’s with their client.

Without goals, the sessions will wander aimlessly.

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Goal GuidelinesGoal Guidelines

Goals are mutually agreed on by the client and counselor.

Goals are specific.Goals are relevant to behavior.Goals are achievement & success oriented.Goals are quantifiable & measurable.Goals are behavioral & observable.Goals are understandable & can be re-

stated clearly.

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Perceiving RealityPerceiving Reality“Perception is Reality”“Perception is Reality”

As you move past the initial stage of counseling, you begin to gain an understanding of the client’s world view. How they perceive reality is considered true by the client, and often seen only one way. As you work with a client, you may offer new frames to their pictures of reality (re-framing) and fresh ways to look at things.

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Important Skills/Tools for the Important Skills/Tools for the CounselorCounselor

There are several There are several important skills important skills which we will cover which we will cover briefly. Each is briefly. Each is considered a “micro-considered a “micro-skill” which you will skill” which you will need to develop need to develop during the clinical during the clinical sequence of the sequence of the counselor training counselor training program. program.

EmpathyEmpathyLeadingLeadingRespondingRespondingSelf DisclosureSelf DisclosureImmediacyImmediacyHumorHumorConfrontationConfrontation

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EmpathyEmpathy

You want to build You want to build the relationship with the relationship with the client through all the client through all the previously the previously mentioned skills. Yet mentioned skills. Yet all these skills will be all these skills will be hindered without the hindered without the use of empathy. use of empathy.

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EmpathyEmpathy

According to Rogers According to Rogers (1961)…(1961)…

This is the ability to enter the client’s This is the ability to enter the client’s phenomenological world, to experience the phenomenological world, to experience the client’s world as if it were your own without client’s world as if it were your own without ever losing the ‘as if’ quality. ever losing the ‘as if’ quality.

It involves two specific skills:It involves two specific skills:Perception/understanding of what is taking Perception/understanding of what is taking

place emotionally.place emotionally.The ability to communicate your understanding The ability to communicate your understanding

of that to your client.of that to your client.

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EmpathyEmpathy

According to Martin According to Martin (1983)…(1983)…

Empathy is communicated understanding of the Empathy is communicated understanding of the other person’s intended emotional message. Every other person’s intended emotional message. Every word counts in this definition. It is not enough to word counts in this definition. It is not enough to understand what the person said; you must also understand what the person said; you must also hear what they hear what they meantmeant to say; the intended message. to say; the intended message.

It is not enough to understand, even deeply; you It is not enough to understand, even deeply; you must communicate your understanding somehow. must communicate your understanding somehow.

It is absolutely essential the other person “feel” It is absolutely essential the other person “feel” understood—that your understanding is perceived.understood—that your understanding is perceived.

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Two Forms of EmpathyTwo Forms of Empathy

Primary Empathy:Responding in such a way that it is apparent to

both the client & counselor the counselor has understood the client’s major themes.

Advanced Empathy:This takes the relationship one step further.

You are exploring themes, issues, meanings, and emotions that are below the surface of what is being shared by the client.

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Levels of EmpathyLevels of Empathy

Throughout your time with a client, you will be using different levels of empathy. As the sessions progress, empathy will deepen as you know more about your client and their story. You also use an appropriate level of empathy for the stage of counseling.

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1. The verbal & behavioral expressions of the counselor either do not attend to or detract from the verbal & behavioral expressions of the client.

2. Although the counselor responds to the expressed feelings of the client, they do so in a way which subtracts noticeable affect (emotion) from the communications of the client.

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3. The expressions of the counselor in response to the expressions of the client are essentially interchangeable.

4. The response of the counselor add noticeably to the expressions of the client in a way that expresses feelings a level deeper than the client was able to express.

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5. The counselor’s responses add significantly to the feeling & meaning of the expressions of the client in a way that accurately expresses feeling levels below what the client is able to express.

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Moving the Client—Leading Moving the Client—Leading

There are several ways to “lead” the client forward in a session. They include using silence, acceptance, paraphrasing, etc…

Be aware of how you lead and where you are going. You are working on the client’s issues, not your issues, or what you think the client should be working on.

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Moving the Client—Leading Moving the Client—Leading

Restatement of contentReflection of contentReflection of feelingMinimal Encouragers: “I see” or “uh

huh”General Encouragers: Direct client

talk more on a specific topic, e.g., “Please say some more about…”

Encouragement/SupportTherapeutic Silence

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Responding Styles Responding Styles

Counseling is often perceived as just focusing on feelings. This is not true.

While counseling helps people work through feelings; how one responds and communicates with others will effect how the counselor responds to the client.

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Responding StylesResponding Styles

Affective Responding.Focusing on feelings.

Behavioral Responses.Focusing on actions and behaviors.

Cognitive Response.Focusing on thoughts and cognitions.

You will balance these throughout the session with a client.

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Self-DisclosureSelf-Disclosure

Self-disclosure is making oneself known to another person (the client) by revealing personal information.

Counselors self-disclosure is only necessary as it relates to the therapeutic process. Too much self-disclosure hinders the counseling process, while not enough, may inhibit the client from forming a bond with the counselor.

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ImmediacyImmediacy

This involves a counselor’s understanding and communicating of what is going on between the counselor and client within the helping relationship. There are 2 types:

Relationship immediacy. (Between client & counselor)

“Here & Now” immediacy focuses on some particular event in the session.

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HumorHumor Humor can have a

positive effect on the counseling process when used properly.

It must be used with sensitivity and timing. It does not demean and is supportive.

A session is not a time to try out a new joke heard at lunch.

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ConfrontationConfrontation

This is not skill at putting the client down for doing something wrong!!

This is an invitation to the client to look more closely at behavior that is not working or interfering with growth, change, or healthy functioning.

A Challenge…

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ConfrontationConfrontationBefore you confront someone you want to

make sure the relationship is strong and able to withstand the challenge of the confrontation.

Example: “You have said you want to change this behavior but it seems you keep doing it over and over again. Help me to understand what is going on and how repeating this pattern is helpful to you.”

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Transference & Counter-Transference & Counter-transferencetransference

A concept as old as Freud, transference and countertranference are issues that affect all forms of counseling, guidance, & psychotherapy.

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Transference.This is the client’s projection of past or

present feelings, attitudes, or desires onto the counselor. It can be direct or indirect and will cause the client to react to you as they would in the past or present relationship.

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Counter-transference.This is the counselor’s projected emotional

reaction to or behavior towards the client. It can take on many forms, from a desire to please the client, to wanting to develop a social or sexual relationship with the client. When this happens, supervision or counseling for the counselor is called for.

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Termination of a SessionTermination of a SessionThere is no great secret to

ending sessions. There are some guidelines:

Start and end on time.Leave 5 minutes or so for a summary of the session.Introduce the end of the session normally (“Our time is coming to a close.”).

Assign homework.Set up next appointment.

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Termination of the Termination of the RelationshipRelationship

Termination is the end of the professional relationship with the client when the session goals have been met.

A formal termination serves three functions:Counseling is finished and it is time for the client to

face their life challenges.Changes which have taken place have generalized

into the normal behavior of the client. The client has matured and thinks and acts more

effectively and independently.

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Timing of TerminationTiming of Termination

There is no one answer when termination is to take place. Questions you may wish to ask yourself concerning termination include:

Have clients achieved behavioral, cognitive, or affective goals?

? Can clients concretely show where they have made progress in what they wanted to accomplish?

? Is the counseling relationship helpful?

? Has the context of the initial counseling arrangements changed?

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Resistance to TerminationResistance to Termination

Clients & Counselors may not want counseling to end. In many cases this may be the result of feelings about the loss and grief or insecurities of losing the relationship. For clients, this is something to process. For counselors, this is an issue for supervision.

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Premature TerminationPremature Termination

Client.Many clients may end counseling before all

goals are completed. This can be seen by not making appointments, resisting new appointments, etc… It is a good idea to try and schedule a termination/review session with the client so closure may take place. At this time a referral may be in order.

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Premature TerminationPremature Termination

Counselors.At times, counselors have to end counseling

prematurely. Whatever the reason for the termination, a summary session is in order and referrals are made, if appropriate, to another counselor.

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ReferralsReferralsAt times, a counselor needs to make a

referral. When this is done, specific issues need to be addressed with the client:Reason for the referral.Note specific behaviors or actions which

brought the need for a referral. Have the names of several other counselors

ready for referral.You cannot follow up with the new

counselor to see if the client followed through (Confidentiality issue).

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Follow-UpFollow-Up

At times, a follow-up may be scheduled for various reasons including evaluation, research, or checking-in with client.

Follow-ups need to be scheduled so as to not take the responsibility of change away from the client.

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QuestionsQuestions

Documents

Tony Thampi 1 The Counseling Relationship Introduction to the Counselling Profession