Hospice of New York

Manhattan, Bronx, Brooklyn Queens & Nassau

Volunteer Voices

To Comfort Always...

A note from Angela & Sandra

Volunteers, Louisya Graves and Luz Marina Cano at the SBH

Health Fair in the Bronx on Sunday ,8/28/2016 .

Volunteers, Dan Monahan , Sihua Prior and Angela Purpura,

Director of Volunteers , at the Health, Fitness & Sports Expo at

Eisenhower Park in East Meadow on Saturday,9/10/16.

Fall is upon us… The cooler weather, the colorful changing leaves and the abundance of pumpkins and

gourds. It is a great opportunity to focus on enjoying the many seasonal crops, the different

varieties of apples and pears, cabbages, cauliflowers and much more. A time to bake pumpkin pies and

breads as well as cooking a pot of hardy soup.

Let us celebrate our appreciation of life by showing our thankfulness, especially on Thanksgiving Day.

Invite those who may otherwise spend the holiday alone or call them and let them know you care.

We here at Hospice of New York express our appreciation of you and your never ending giving of your

time, compassion and dedication to our patients and their families. You are a priceless gift to be

treasured.

Thank you.

2016

Volunteers Life Lights

Felipa Isales is a Great Grandmother again . Her Great Granddaughter, Priscilla Brook

Hernandez was born August 13, 2016.

Jimmy Poon welcomed his 1st Grandchild, Andy

Poon, on 3/16/16 at 8lbs. 10 oz.

Mary Douglas received her honorary doctorate of

Public Service degree in May from University of

Elizabeth City, North Carolina. To the left is Vice

Chancellor –Dennis Byron Douglas , Mary Douglas

with Attorney and CNN Contributor, Bakari Sellers.

A special thank you to the knitters of Howard Beach

Senior Center. They have knitted over 100 blankets, hats and shawls that are distributed to our

patients in Manhattan, Bronx, Brooklyn, Nassau County and Queens… and thanks to Marie

Hinners, volunteer of 15 years, who wrapped most of the blankets.

Thank you so much. It means so much to the patients and their families.

The Challenges of Being a Caregiver of a Family Member with Alzheimer's

by Monique Ambrose, Patient Care Volunteer

I am sorry I have been inactive for so many months. There just has been a lot to take care of for

my parents, especially my Mom—and she often has to be persuaded (over a period of time) to

cooperate. It’s particularly difficult because she does not like to leave home. Therefore, we have

not been able to enroll her in the many available day programs for Alzheimer’s patients. She

receives some in-home care, but it is very costly and she requires more than we can afford. Plus,

my family members are not all on the same page regarding acceptance of Mom’s condition and

planning for care. I get a lot of pushback and tend to be misunderstood by my siblings and Dad

for wanting to be proactive. That has been a deeply painful part of this journey, but I do attend a

support group. After a great deal of runaround, Mom finally will be assessed for community

Medicaid this week. In the meantime, I am learning so much about aging, illness, grief and dying

which has impacted how I view life. In the midst of the mess, I’m in constant reflection, self-

assessment, prayer, and journaling.

Volunteers !!!! The best in Mind, Body and Spirit

Poet’s Corner

Do not ask me to remember

Don’t try to make me understand

Let me rest and know you’re with me.

Kiss my cheek and hold my hand

I’m confused beyond your concept.

I am sad and sick and lost.

All I know is that I need you to be with me at all cost

Do not lose your patience with me

Do not curse or scold or cry

I can’t help the way I’m acting

Can’t be different though I try

Just remember that I need you

That the best of me is gone.

Please don’t fail to stand beside me.

Love me ‘til my life is gone.

By Owen Darnel

Udisa Chowdhury 10/1 Norma Batchleor 11/12 Veronica Webb 12/4

Gwendolyn Bethea 10/13 Patti Parsons 11/17 Marvin Newman 12/6

Louisya Graves 10/17 Purnima Chopra 11/29 Fernanda DeOliveria 12/8

Daisy Wilson 10/22 Shannon Green 11/29 Edward Lisciandro 12/3

Judy Devito 10/26 Xin (Annie) Xiong 11/29 Jonghoon Lee 12/14

Ronelle Montoute 11/9 Andrea Sanchez 11/30 Kristina Kolanovic 12/21

Alejandro Zarate 11/10 Stacey Robertson 12/2 Sat Byell Lee 12/26

Vicky Chang 11/11 Heather Figgins 12/4 Tocarra Thomas 12/29

Insights and Tips

Honoring a Sacred Place

“ I feel I need to open my heart when I enter a patient’s house or room. I take time to breathe in

the photos, medicine bottles, pads, diapers or machines—they are all apart of their sacred space.”

The gift this volunteer receives, through observation, is the knowledge that each person dies the

way they lived. She describes the process of what was end-of-life for her mother in-law, one of

peace, quiet visits with immediate family and limited material distractions. Simplicity and

depth is what she treasured about life, and it is what she wants in the end.

Helping Families Breathe

“I believe I’m there to help the families breathe.” Sometimes these times of breathing allow

space for reflection and discovery for patients. A patient was struggling with the guilt of

burdening her caretaker husband. By providing space for her to talk, the woman realized

allowing her husband to care for her was providing him with the gift of purpose, memory and

an avenue for displaying his deep love and affection. These epiphanies can emerge from quiet

moments of stillness. The joy in hospice volunteering comes from opening your heart to vulner-

ability and absorbing that energy back into a nurturing quiet and gentle presence.“

The Importance of Memories

“What I learned from being with Hospice patients is how important memories are, how

important it is to talk about them; they are part of the fabric of our lives. I think that

patients find that they are able to reach into their emotional bank and re-live beauty, courage,

rapture and even hurt; it makes them feel alive again in that moment of re-telling.”

Sharing Laughter

As important as sharing memories are, sharing laughter is a must for this volunteer and her

patients. At each visit, she anticipates joy from their time together. She feels confident that there

is joy ready to seep through any pain and sadness, no matter how long it takes. She described a

visit with a patient who had recently had a stroke and was quite ill; but she knew instinctively

that he wanted to laugh too and when she talked with him a brief smile brightened his face.

This happiness is what this volunteer wants for her own dying process.

The Happiness Reading List

Five books to keep you optimistic in these crazy times.

We are living in a time of great disruption and change, which is very terrifying or

motivating, depending on how you look at it. Here is a list of books, old and new, that

will help you be the change you want to see.

1. The Age of Discovery, by Ian Goldin and Chris Kutarna. Released in May, 2016, this non-

fiction book puts the sweeping economic, political and digital changes we are witnessing

into historical context. Goldin and Kutrana, two oxford academics, argue despite the

abundance of troubling headlines, we’re experiencing a new renaissance and we are

living in the greatest time in history to be alive as a result.

2. Creative Visualization, by Shakti Gawain. In this self-help classic published in 1978,

Gawain lays out a tutorial in creative visualization, the practice of visualizing what you

want in life in order to create positive change. Modern day success stories like Net-a-

Porter founder Natalie Massenet swear by it.

3. The Happiness Project, by Gretchen Rubin. What better way to turn 2016/2017 around

than following Rubin’s lead in developing the year in pursuit of happiness? The book

mixes real-life trail and error , thought provoking commentary and academic research to

deliver a completely doable guide to contentment.

4. How to Mediate: a Practical Guide to Making Friends with Your Mind, by Pema Chodran.

This is less of a self-help and more of a practical guide to the very useful skill of medita-

tion.

5. The Book of You, by Nora Rosendahl, Nelli Lahteemake and Aleksi Hoffman. If far

reaching theories are not your thing, try the small, actionable tips outlined in this

book… things like writing down something you love about yourself, being nice to a

stranger or smiling when you do not necessarily feel like it (“research shows that the

mere act of smiling will actually make you feel happier”). It sounds cringe worthy on

paper, but is a good reminder of the power in being kind to yourself and other people.

When I was visiting, the patient told me she was happy that one of her relatives is going to stay with

her. Her niece is moving in. She was in good spirits — Gladys Vilela

Brought the patient some Lipton tea bags. She stated that is the only tea she enjoys. I made her a cup

of tea and I had my coffee. We sat and prayed together and talked for hours. She said she was so

happy to have someone to talk with — Daisy Wilson

I was assigned to Francesa. She has a very jolly personality. I told her my name, where I came from

and why. She is from the Bronx and we both know some of the same people. She stated that she had

only been there [the SBH in-patient unit] for one night. I told her that she was the new girl on the

block. She had a big laugh. Her daughter arrived and I spoke with her for a while. I held the

patient’s hand and we said the Lord’s Prayer. I prepared to leave and she stated the she wanted me

to come back. I told her I would be back next week. — Mary A. Douglas

Mary stated how long it had been since my last visit. She was excited to hear about my trip to

Ireland, and recalled her travels to Europe when she was young — Christopher Wankel

Patient was excited to see me and stated that he wanted to play the Conga drums for me. Patient

turned his radio to a Jazz station and played his congas to the beat of the jazz music. His daughter

arrived and stated that patients spirits are uplifted when volunteer visits. — Sandra Hollingsworth

Toni felt severe discomfort after taking her medication. She craves attention but her pain seemed

very real so I found the nurse and requested something to comfort her. One of the nurses had

mentioned that this patient had asked about me and I was glad to know that my visits were bringing

her some joy during this difficult time. She loves to chat and it seems like she has spent decades

being ignored and now just wants someone to listen to her lifetime of stories. Just looking into her

eyes, holding her hand, and listening, truly listening to what she has to say not only brings her

happiness but a calmness to myself as well. — Juwon Suk

Today the hospice nurse and social worker held a beautiful ceremony for Lucille recognizing her

years as a Navy pharmacist. Lucille looked beautiful with her blazer and make-up on. A certificate

was given to her and we all took a photo to send to her nephew. Lucille did not have anything to say,

but you could see how thrilled she was. — Sally Scialabba

Volunteer

Notes

Volunteer Voices is written and edited by Sandra Nielsen and Angela Purpura.

Graphic design by Sandra Nielsen.

Contact information: sandra.nielsen@hospiceny.com/347-226-4821 and

angela.purpura@hospiceny.com/347-226-4801.

Helen told me this week was a blessed week for her. One of her church sisters came by. The hospice

pastor came by and I showed up today. She could not stop speaking about how God is so wonderful

to her. We had dinner and played dominoes. — Anna Duncan

Eileen is spending more time in the living room. She was waiting to have her hair washed. Her aide

joined us and we were telling funny stories. Eileen always thanks me for “being so nice.

— Sally Scialabba

When I arrived, Elaine was in the day room and it was dinner time. It appeared that she just woke up;

she was disoriented and asked what time it was, when I told her I had to come to visit. When I said

5:30, she became agitated and said 5:30 in the morning is not time to visit anyone. She was confused

about the time of the day. I asked her if she wanted me to leave and she said yes. I was going to leave,

however, the nurse suggested that I take her to the lounge area and sit with her while she ate dinner.

I helped the patient open her beverage containers and talked with her while she ate. As we talked she

appeared to become more alert and less agitated. She asked me questions (i.e. about the weather) and

she responded appropriately to my questions. After she finished eating, I asked her if she wanted to

color and she said yes. While coloring flowers she was very focused and relaxed even more. I prayed

with her before I left. Although the visit started out rocky, it turned out well and ended on positive

note. — Mary L. Martin-Sweet

Michael was in good spirits today. He now has two aides, so he will not be alone during the week

when his husband is at work. He is having episodes of dizziness, and now we can all worry less about

him having a serious fall or other event while he is alone. He also has a headset with a speaker, so he

does not have to strain to talk. He really loves to be with others and enjoys conversation. His husband

was there too ...on vacation this week. He expressed his deep gratitude for all that Hospice is doing to

help them. He still has a lot of responsibility taking care of Michael, but they are a very loving couple

and he does it with much caring and compassion. Michael has told me many times he worries about

all the work Paul must do to take care of them. Michael expressed he feels his condition is in decline,

and he seems to be accepting it. Michael is always kind and grateful when I visit. He is an exceptional

man. — Debra Russo-Houri

Dominoes has become one of out new pastimes. It brings out the best in Helen . Sometimes she can

be very competitive. — Anna Duncan

Ana was unresponsive. I played and sang a hymn for her .— Sihua Prior

“A good head and a good heart are always a formidable combination “—Nelson Mandela

Please Help Us Recruit New Volunteers!

Patient Care Volunteers—Provide support to patients, caregivers and families in your own

communities, at home, in nursing homes or in the in-patient setting.

Administrative Volunteers—Assist office personnel in our Long Island City office in the Volun-

teer Department, Medical Records, Human Resources, and Bereavement .

Please contact:

In Manhattan, Bronx and Brooklyn In Nassau County /Queens

Contact: Sandra Nielsen@347-226-4821 Contact: Angela Purpura @347-226-4801

sandra.nielsen@hospiceny.com angela.purpura@hospiceny.com

5 Foods That Benefit The Brain Walnuts—These are a good source of alpha-linolenic acid, a plant based omega-3 fatty acid

beneficial to the heart and brain.

Orange Juice —The flavonoids in O.J. may improve memory by stimulating the hippocampus,

a U.K. study find.

Salmon—is one of nature’s best sources of DHA, an essential fatty acid important for brain

health.

Split Peas—A legume, these are rich in folic acid, which improves mental processing speed.

Asparagus—Full of vitamin A, it increases brain plasticity to create new neutral pathways.