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Tips & Techniques for ACCEPTABLEConversations

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“People do not want to be less

informed. They want to be more

informed with less information!”

Orientation

Speaking Styles

Four Paths for Communications

Table of Contents

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Orientation

This material was developed to help you plan for successful face-to-face and telephone business conversations. As you work through the slides, you will gain new insight and skills that will help you improve how you give information to others and how you receive it.

Barriers to Communication

Focused Communicators

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Barriers to Communication

Do you find some people easier to talk to or persuade than others? Have you ever wondered why? Often it is because of external or internal barriers.

External barriers Internal barriers

Although you can’t control all the barriers, you can use communication tools to help minimize the effects. But before we explore these tools, let’s take a quick look at Sender and Receiver-Focused Communicators.

Orientation

• noise

• deadlines

• distractions

• time pressure

• corporate culture

• language

• pre-conceived ideas

• individual styles

• emotions/ego

• different values

• poor communication skills

• personalities


Focused Communicators

All communicators have a focus. When communicators are Sender-Focused, they often fail. When they are Receiver-Focused, they have a much greater chance of conveying the message successfully.

Sender-Focused Receiver-Focused

Orientation

• Use “I” a lot

• Don’t listen well

• Drive their own agenda

• Do most of the talking

• Present information the way they like to receive it

• Tell you what they want to say

• Use “you” or “we” a lot

• Listen actively

• Agree on an agenda

• Engage in two-way dialogue

• Present information the way the receiver likes to receive it

• Provide the information the receiver needs

www.iwcctraining.comOrientation

Consider how the behaviors of others influence how you speak or listen.

Think of the worst communicators you know. Write down the behaviors they display that make your job:

Seven Common Mistakes Communicators Make

1. Speaker focused2. Unprepared3. Poor questioning4. Poor listening

5. Low Impact Style6. Monotone voice7. Inappropriate body

language

Exercise

1. as a listener more difficult

2. as a speaker more difficult

www.iwcctraining.comOrientation

To be an effective communicator, you need to be Listener-Focused, and skilled at both speaking and listening.

How to Help Your Listener

1. Attend to your listener’s needs

2. Organize your message

3. Ask questions skillfully

4. Listen actively

5. Choose high impact words

6. Use your voice and tone to enhance your message

7. Use body language that supports your message

Four Paths for CommunicationsIn this section, you will look at how you can meet your listener’s needs by understanding their behavioral style. You will gain tips and techniques to help you identify and communicate with each of the four styles.



Understanding Behavioral Styles

Observable Behaviors

Specific Likes/Needs of Each Style


Understanding Behavioral Styles

Let’s look at the four behavioral styles.


AMIABLE(Open & Indirect)

Strengths: considerate, helpful, supportive, cooperative, shares responsibility

Key Questions: How can we keep harmony? How do we look doing it?

ANALYTICAL(Self-contained & Indirect)

Strengths: systematic, detail-oriented, cautious, precise, logical, organized

Key Questions: Where has it been done before? How does it work?

EXPRESSIVE(Open & Direct)

Strengths: energetic, intuitive, personable, entertaining, works quickly, creative

Key Questions: How much good does it do? For whom?

DRIVER(Self-contained & Direct)

Strengths: decision-maker, leader, results-oriented, doer, problem solver, driving force

Key Questions: What’s the advantage to us? Who is in charge?

Open/Responsive

Self-Contained/Less Responsive

Indirect/Less

Assertive

Direct/Assertive


The Behavioral Styles typology of human behavior is a powerful tool for helping you improve your business conversations. However, in using this tool, you need to keep some points in mind:


• Each style has a range of potential strengths and weaknesses

• Weaknesses usually stem from excessive use of strengths

• No individual is 100% one style; everyone pulls some behaviors from other styles

• Each person has a dominant style plus one or more back-up styles

• Each person has a “least preferred” style

• Each person is more than his/her style. People’s beliefs, values, goals, experiences and relationships modify their behaviors


Now let’s consider how you can recognize each style.

• Amiable

Words Tone Body Language

• Asks more than states

• Listens patiently

• Reserves opinions

• Uses protective language (maybe, I think, etc.)

• Avoids argumentative statements

• Says things are “okay” even when they’re not

• Tactful not blunt

• Speaks in an even-tempered manner

• Uses less forceful tones of expression

• Speaks at a lower, quieter volume

• Uses a slow rate of speech

• Has a steady quality to speech

• Shakes hands gently

• Uses less animated facial expressions

• Makes intermittent eye contact

• Exhibits patience

• Uses slow-moving body language

Observable Behaviors of Each Style



• Expressive


• Tells stories, anecdotes

• Shares personal feelings and opinions

• Uses informal speech patterns

• Has a flexible time perspective

• Digresses during conversations

• Uses lots of inflection

• Varies pitch of speech

• Varies vocal quality

• Uses high-volume, rapid speech

• Has a dramatic quality to speech

• Shakes hands firmly

• Uses animated facial expressions

• Is contact oriented

• Tends to act spontaneously

• Uses many hand and body movements



• Analytical


• Asks precise questions

• Thinks things through before sharing opinion

• Presents information logically

• Uses more written than verbal communication

• Speaks with little inflection

• Uses few pitch variations

• Uses less variety in vocal quality

• Delivers words in a steady monotone

• Has low-volume, slower speech

• Uses few facial expressions

• Tends to be non-contact oriented

• Gestures infrequently

• Moves deliberately

• Uses slow-moving body language



• Driver


• States versus asks

• Tells more than listens

• Relies on verbal, not written, communications

• Makes strong statements

• Tends to be blunt and to the point

• Uses a great deal of vocal variety

• Speaks in forceful tones

• Communicates readily

• Uses high-volume, rapid speech

• Uses challenging voice intonations

• Shakes hands firmly

• Makes steady eye contact

• Gestures to emphasize points

• Displays impatience

• Uses fast-moving body language



Use the chart on the next page to identify the likes and needs of each style. Consider how you can adjust your style to improve the way you give and receive information.


We each have a favored behavioral style which impacts our communication style. No style is better than the other, just different.

Now that you’ve had a look at the four styles, consider the following questions and write down your responses.

Exercise

1. How do you like people to communicate with you?

2. What gets in the way?

3. What style do you consider your own predominant style?


Amiable Expressive Analytical Driver

Need to know: How it affects their personal circumstances

How it enhances their image

How they can justify it logically or how it works

What it does, by when and what it costs

Act: Friendly Dynamically Precisely Rapidly

Save them from: Conflict Effort Embarrassment Time

Like you to be: Pleasant Stimulating Precise To the point

Support their: Feelings Ideas Procedures Goals

Create an environment that is:

Personal Enthusiastic Serious Businesslike

Maintain a pace that is: Slow and relaxed Fast and spontaneous Slow and systematic Fast and decisive

Put a priority on: Relationship and communication

Relationship and interaction Task and process Task and results

Use time to: Develop the relationship Enjoy the interaction Ensure accuracy Act efficiently

Write in a way that is: Warm and friendly Informal and dramatic Detailed and precise Short and to the point

On the telephone be: Warm and pleasant Conversational and playful Businesslike and precise Short and to the point

Specific Likes/Needs of Each Style


Speaking StylesIn this section, you will look at the concept of speaking from the center and speaking from the edge. You will explore strategies that make both speaking styles effective.



Looking at Speaking Styles

Strategies for Speaking from the Center

Strategies for Speaking from the Edge


Looking at Speaking Styles

Now that you have explored the behavioral style preferences, let’s look inward at speaking styles. Linguistic researchers have identified two styles of speaking:

Speaking Styles

1. Speaking from the Center*(suggests competence, confidence and control)

2. Speaking from the Edge*(suggests approachability, curiosity and inclusion)

* Concept adapted from Power Talk by Sarah McGinty.


Both speaking styles can be effective. However, you need to consider which style is most appropriate for your specific situation. (Note: When used to excess, either style becomes ineffective.)

On the next two slides, you will find strategies for speaking from the center and speaking from the edge. The strategies and examples will help you identify which style will work best for your situation.

Speaking Styles

• Influencing

• Problem solving

• Getting approval

• Strategic planning

• Generating ideas


Strategy Examples

Directs rather than responds“I need you to…”

“We should make a decision on this issue before…”

Makes declarative statements“The major indexes will increase by 20% over the next three years.”

Draws authority from past experience

“When I handled a similar project for the IT Department…”

“Studies have shown…”

Challenges and debates“You’re wrong about…”

“I would argue…”

Stays impersonal and unemotional

“When people do deals without a legal contract, they usually end up in a legal battle.”

Strategies for Speaking from the Center

Speaking Styles


Strategy Examples

Responds rather than directs“That’s a great idea. I wonder if we could expand on…”

Asks questions

“What would we have to do to feel that the project was successful?”

“How can we convince the Executive Committee to…?”

Employs protective strategies

“I hate to mention this, but…”

“This may be a crazy idea, but…”

“I guess I’m being paranoid here…”

Avoids argument “I don’t know – you’re probably right – I can live with…”

Practices conversation maintenance

“As Fred just said…”

“It sounds like what you’re saying is…”

“Tell me more about…”

Strategies for Speaking from the Edge

Speaking Styles

By applying the tips and techniques you have learned in this course, you will be well on your way to:

• Improving how you give information to others and how you receive it.

• Meeting your listener’s needs.

“People do not want to be less

informed. They want to be more

informed with less information!”

Documents

Tips & Techniques for ACCEPTABLE Conversations To move forward, backward or to a Contents page, move your cursor over the arrows in the bottom left corner