Tips on How to Be a Parent and How to Be a Teenager

Nick Foster

How to Punish as a FatherYou can never be too much of a hotheadSwearing is encouragedPhysical punishment is okayGround them even though you know that you will

completely forget about itMaking them cry is your goal

How to Punish as a Mother When alone, implement the silent treatment

Embarrassment in front of friends is keyBring up a fake story about your teenager wetting

the bed Ask if they applied their ointment today If teenager in question is a boy, ask if they are

ready for your weekly Pretty Little Liars date

Work Tips for a FatherCome home as late as possible

Get mad if there isn’t food on the table when you get home

Eat dinner in your room because you have a lot to catch up on

Yell at the kids for not appreciating all the work that you do to provide for them

Everything is a business expense

Never be available to play catch due to work

Work Tips for a MotherOption 1: Don’t work

Option 2: Work in an office where your boss hits on you constantly

Option 3: A job that requires being caring- teacher, psychologist, counselor, etc.

No matter what you do, you must always complain about how hard your job is, even if you are a stay at home mom

How to Treat Your Parents as a Teenager

Only talk to parents when you need something

Tell them to calm down or stop being crazy any time you get yelled at for something

Always avoid the conversation about your grades

You can be as crazy as you want, because you have hormones and puberty to blame

Always make your parents clean up after you

Dating Tips for Teenage Guys

Be a player

Never show your sensitive side

It’s completely okay to get with your ex’s best friend

Chivalry is irrelevant

Only give compliments on physical qualitiesAlso don’t be afraid to point out physical flaws

With a lack of better words, be a douche

Post douchey pictures on social media like this

Dating Tips for Teenage Girls

Cry. Cry about everything

Always assume the worst, if you think your boyfriend did something bad, he did

Fall in love with every guy you get a crush on

If your dad wouldn’t approve, he’s the one

Never choose the nice guy, always the jerk

Even if you want to eat at a certain place, never choose