The Weekend 07 February 2014

TAKE THE PLUNGEWITH WILD SWIMMING

IN TWO TUNNELSON TWO WHEELS

BETTER LATE THANNEVER FOR ROCKERS

VALENTINE’S DAYGIFT IDEAS

WWeeeWWeeeWWWeeekkeeekeeekkendndFROM FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 7, 2014 ISSUE 90WHAT TO DO WITH YOUR TIME AND MONEY

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Independent of the week NatalieBanyard browses in Bristol’s newest

independent bookshop

BOOKS ATBATTLESTATIONS

SHOPPING

Buoyed by thesupport andgoodwill ofBristolians, JohnSidwell isdetermined to rollup his sleeves and

make a go of his second-handbook store, Dreadnought.The 25-year-old fromWales

opened the Hotwells bookshop,which specialises in history, justbefore Christmas and has theenergy, enthusiasm andknowledge to make it a success.“The support I’ve received has

confirmed to me that with plentyof hard work I canmake a goodgo of things and hopefully behere for many years to come,” hetells me.“I was a bit anxious about it all

– it’s a big step to launch yourfirst shop in an area that youdon’t know. But everyone hasbeen so supportive.“When I started setting up,

people were telling me how greatit was to see the shop beingused, and how lovely it was tosee a bookshop opening ratherthan closing in the city.“And since I’ve opened, I’ve

had lots of people come throughthe door to say hello, to offer mebooks, to browse and, thankfully,a few to buy books!”Dreadnought is the latest

independent shop to appear onthe revitalised St George’s Road,which is also home to vintageclothes boutique Recession, giftshop and studio CliftonWorkshop and Relics, sellingfurniture and collectibles.As it’s name suggests, the

second-hand and out-of-printbook dealer specialises inmilitary, naval and social history,but also stocks a wide range ofother genres.John graduated in History and

War Studies in 2008, but afterstruggling to find any work inLondon he returned home toAbergavenny.“I moved home with mymum

and dad so I could work out whatto do next,” he tells me. “Mydad’s a bookseller, so I knew howit worked, had an interest inbooks, and it seemed like theobvious thing to do.“I started off selling books

online and then on amarket stall,which I enjoyed. Eventually, Idecided it was time to move onand get myself established.”Although John didn’t know the

area well, he knew Bristol wasrenowned for being a vibrant,creative and interesting city –ideal for a independentbookstore. Initially, he wassceptical about being able toafford to rent premises in the

heart of the city, but then hespotted the vacant shop on thecouncil website.“Rather than just going for the

highest bidder, they were lookingto rent it to someone theythought was well suited to thearea and they thought a bookshop was a great idea.”

And having discovered a localfamily connection, John feels hismove to Bristol was clearlymeant to be.“Just down the road from here

there’s a monument to one of myancestors! It’s of temperancepreacher Simon Short, who usedto preach to the sailors when

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they came ashore. I believe hewas thrown in the river bydrunken sailors.“That tells me that I must have

been destined to live and workhere – althoughmy ancestorwould be unimpressed that I liveand work next door to a pub anddo enjoy a drink!”While John continues to

specialise in military history,since launching Dreadnought asa physical enterprise he hasbranched out.There are books on

architecture, politics and foreignlanguage as well as an areadevoted to Bristol and evensections on arts, entertainmentand fiction. Texts on The GreatWar, British history and navalconquests sit alongsidebiographies of Elvis and KurtCobain, Jane Austen novels andmodern classics.There are also sought-after

collectibles and somewhatquirky, unique books, including aThe Romance of Redland andCotham – a book jam-packed withnewspaper cuttings about thelocal area, which was donated to

the store. “I still specialise inhistory books to some extent,because it’s important to me thatI’m knowledgeable about what Isell, that I knowwhat will sellwell, and that I knowwhat a goodprice would be,” John explains.“I also want the shop to have

some of my identity, rather thanjust being any old bookshop.“However, I have branched out

a bit, because I want to be able tooffer my customers a broadrange of material.“Also, while I hope to get

customers who are interested innaval andmaritime history bybeing situated near the harbour,there are also the people wholive in the flats on theharbourside and the studentsfrom the college down the roadto cater for.“I’m looking forward to finding

out what people are interested inand becoming part of the Bristolcommunity.”

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Whether you’ve been together for years, or he’s your new flame, let him know he’s special this Valentine’s Day.

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Health and fitness Kate Edser talks to twooutdoor swimming devotees, for whom thecold-water shock of a dip in Henleaze Lake ismore favourable than any heated indoor pool

TAKE THEPLUNGE

HEALTH&BEAUTY

Stripping off in thegreat Britishoutdoors andplunging into alake, river or thesea for a bracingdip: does it invoke

a shiver, or a smile?For some, that tingling shock

of cold water induces both, andmore besides; the experience asmuch about celebrating acloseness to nature andnurturing a feeling of wellbeingas the pure physicality ofswimming. One might say it’ssomething of an all-consumingsensory experience.That is certainly the view of

two “wild” swimming devotees,Mark Thompson and Susie Parr,who have been members ofBristol’s Henleaze LakeSwimming Club since the midEighties.“It’s the cold that people

enjoy,” insists Mark, who’s a clubtrustee. “At Henleaze Lake, assoon as the temperature getsover 22 I don’t like it – it’s likeswimming in soup.“Physically there are two

things that happen when you’reswimming in cold water; firstyour adrenaline levels decreaseand endorphins increase, so ithas a calming effect, and a lot ofpeople use it as a de-stresser.“It takes you out of your life for

a little while and you can swim ina beautiful place and look at thesky and look at nature.”Nodding her agreement, Susie

adds: “Outdoor swimming cando lots of really good things foryou; it can calm you and create afeeling of wellbeing. There issome research which shows itcan also boost your immunesystem and some scientists havesaid it also lowers bloodpressure, so there are lots ofhealth benefits which youwouldn’t expect.“There is also something

about mindfulness; almost ameditative state. You’reimmersed and there are a lotstrong sensory signals comingfrom the skin and that help bringyou into the present moment.“I also find that swimming is a

really good way of solvingproblems. It takes away all theinterference of life and puts youin the moment, but it can alsofree your mind.”But, she warns: “You can’t just

jump into cold water having notacclimatised. You have to adaptto cold, otherwise it can be verydangerous – you can gethypothermia and breathingproblems for example.“There is an adaptation

response from the body and youcan get used to it.”Mark and Susie grew up

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dipping in the sea and rivers andSusie became so enamouredwith the subject that she pennedthe 2011 book The Story ofSwimming, which is a social andcultural history of outdoorswimming in the UK, from thetime of the Romans.She explains: “Open water

swimming in this country wasperfectly ‘normal’ up until theFifties when the authorities’attitudes towards it changed,with health and safety andpollution worries.“Things like access to foreign

holidays took off where peoplesaw clear, warm, blue water andour murky sea didn’t seem to beappealing any more.“Then the leisure industry

created lots of indoor pools,where you could change in thewarm and dry your hair.”In more recent years, parallel

with a trend towards “gettingback to nature,” outdoorswimming has enjoyedsomething of a resurgence, andthere are books and groupswhich indicate the best places inthe country to indulge.Around Bristol, the best spots

include Warleigh Weir on theAvon near Claverton; AvonValley Country Park nearSaltford; The Lake at TrenchLane, Bradley Stoke; Portishead

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Lido; the tidal pool at Clevedon;the River Yeo at Yatton; andCromhall Diving Centre in SouthGloucestershire, which is aflooded quarry.Fed by springs, Henleaze Lake

is also a flooded quarry. Abeautiful spot, surrounded bygrass and trees, it’s attractive towildlife and therapeutic tohumans.Mark says: “It is in the middle

of Bristol surrounded by houses,but when you’re in the lake it’slike being in the countryside andit’s quiet – you don’t hear trafficnoise and there’s lots of wildlife,like kingfishers, herons, ducks,cormorants and foxes.“In the summer people treat it

like a beach and a lot of clubmembers are real sunbathers.“It’s different things to

different people: Susie and Iwould probably be classed asleisure swimmers, and there arealso competitive people whocome for half an hour or so andcharge up and down, but theyare in the minority.“Also, you quite often have

two or three people in a rowswimming and talking.”While talking with Mark and

Susie, I’m flicking through theclub’s year book, a hardbackpictorial diary primarily showingsmiley members on sunny days.

So I ask what happens at the lakeduring winter.Well, apart from tidying

working parties (when helperscan swim if they wish), not muchat the moment, but thecommittee has agreed to startopening the site for formalwinter swimming next year,though Mark admits only a “tinymajority” of the 1,850 membersare likely to take up theopportunity to swim outside theusual end-of-April to Octoberseason.Facilities at the lake are what

you might call quaint, but Susieand Mark both talk with affectionabout the ladies’ changing roombuilt in 1926, complete withwood panelling and ginghamcurtains, a gentleman’s “shack”that is open to the elements, anda little club house for making teaand coffee.While the Henleaze club is

mainly populated by people whoswim for pleasure, it is availablefor “serious” swimmers,including those training fortriathlons and cross-Channelattempts. The man-made lake atBradley Stoke, however, isbecoming more and morepopular with triathletes andwater sport lovers, but that’sanother story which we’ll becovering in future.

Join the open water swimming community

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Of the peoplewho join gyms,often in January,to improvefitness and slimdown, I’d betthat a fair

proportion lose enthusiasm andmotivation quickly because theydon’t see results.And why is that? Because they

don’t know enough abouttraining and/or diet.At the centre where I’m a

member, I notice plenty ofpeople using the gymequipment, gliding up and downthe pool or taking part in a class– and all without breaking sweat.It strikes me that these people

don’t have a clue what it reallytakes to improve their body;that it means stepping outsidetheir comfort zone to a placethat feels rather unpleasant.There is some truth to the

mantra “No pain, no gain”.Motivation is a key word here,

and there’s nothing like a carrotand a stick (in the shape of a

personal trainer) to tempt andprod people into action.Crucially, a qualified personal

trainer (PT) will cover all bases,that is to say, help you set goals,share their knowledge of fitnessand nutrition, write an exerciseprogramme that you can followwhen training alone, and, inone-to-one sessions, push you towork harder than you everthought possible.Remember that cosy comfort

zone?One such PT is Noel Hickman,

pictured above, who’s has beenworking at Spirit health club, inFilton’s Holiday Inn, for 10 years,the last five of them as manager.Explaining in a little more

detail what he can do for peoplewho sign up for individualsessions, Noel says: “We’re thereto help give people new ideas, tohelp motivate, to raise the bar.“A lot of it is motivation.

Everyone will start out withgood intentions, especially inJanuary/February time, and thenpeople start slacking off.

“We look at nutrition, yourhistory and health, whatexercise you have done in thepast, what you enjoyed andwhat you didn’t enjoy, and whatyou want to do in the future.“Everyone is different, so we’ll

make a programme basedaround you. Some people wantto bulk up and some want tolose weight.“We’ll help you set short,

medium and long-term goals andtargets for keeping fit and forweight loss.“We know exactly how far we

can push people, but we alsoensure people warm up, cooldown and stretch properly too,so we’re with them every step ofthe way.“We log the targets and goals

and progression. We can plot agraph so they can see it inpicture form, not just innumbers.“We do free fitness tests too,

measuring blood pressure, heartrate, body fat and a VO2 maxtest, which works on your heart

rate and resistance level, takingin your weight, age and sex.“If everyone had a PT session,

or a package of sessions, they’dget more out of exercise andfitness long term than if theyjust do their own thing.”Like the majority of gym and

health clubs, new members willget a free induction session,where they’ll be shown how touse the equipment, along with afree 12-week fitness plan, whichcan be reviewed at regularintervals.Noel is keen to encourage his

members to take up this offer,but knows the majority don’t.He’s also noticed that most

people who come to him forhelp know little of diet, andthose who do eat healthily areoften still overdoing theirportion sizes, so they still find ithard to drop weight.So, if any of this strikes a

chord, perhaps it’s time to askthe PT at your club for help.

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The messages that are gone in a flash

Snapchat(www.snapchat.com)is one of thoseonline successstories thatdoesn’t seem tomake any sense: it

has millions of users, is free touse, carries no adverts, andearns no income.And yet it’s one of the biggest

new app ideas in recent years,and all the big companies wantto buy it. No wonder founderEvan Spiegel looks so happy.So what makes Snapchat

different? It’s part photo sharing,part messaging. And crucially,it’s all disposable.Messages are photos – often

with scribbles and text captionsadded. When someone sendsyou a Snap, the image is storedat Snapchat HQ and on yourphone.The moment you open it to

take a look, a timer starts.After a few seconds, the image

is gone, deleted not just fromyour phone but from Snapchat’sservers too.People love it. They love the

way Snapchat messages aredisposable.The only way to save one is to

quickly take a screenshot beforethe image vanishes – so youneed a sharp mind and nimblefingers. The message sender willknow that you’ve done it too, soit’s not as sneaky as you mightthink.It’s not been a hit without

controversy, though. Youngusers love it as a way ofavoiding parental monitoring,but there have been

documented cases of misusethat have ended up in court.Snapchat is a reaction to

modern social networking.Facebook makes a point ofsaving everything, rememberingyour entire life for you. Snapchatsaves nothing.It’s more about sharing the

moment, just for a moment.Then it’s done and gone, andtime to share another moment.

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Nothing says ‘I love you’ like a cleverly chosen geek-chic gift. Peter Jenkinson rounds up the best ‘alternative’ presents for February 14

SWEETS FOR MY GEEK

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DAYS OUT

TAKE TOTHE

TUNNELS

When the£4.3m TwoTunnelsproject tothe south ofBathopened,

organisers hoped hundreds ofpeople on foot and two wheelswould “christen” the route.In fact, they’d set their sights

low, as around 8,000 peoplequeued to try out the innovativenew pathway through re-openedrailway tunnels.The scheme, led by

Bristol-based green transportcharity Sustrans, with supportfrom other cycling andenvironmental groups,re-opened the Devonshire andCombe Down tunnels, whichhad been blocked off since theBeeching cuts of 1966.The result means the UK’s

longest cycling and walkingtunnel (the Combe Downsection), a 1,672m, resurfacedtunnel with lights and music, ison Bristol’s doorstep.The tunnels are part of a

13-mile circular route.From Bristol, if you wish, you

can cycle all the way there onthe Bristol and Bath RailwayPath out through Bitton. If youthink your legs can’t take it,catch a train from TempleMeads to Oldfield Park, fromwhere the tunnels are just ashort pedal away.

As well as providing a uniquecycling and walking route, thepath re-uses what was one of themost characterful parts of thelocal railway network, burrowingbeneath the high ground to thesouth of Bath city centre.The charming villages of

Combe Hay, Monkton Combeand Hinton Chartherhouse arenow within reach, along withlovely country pubs such as theWheatsheaf (Combe Hay) andthe Rose and Crown (HintonCharterhouse).Sustrans Route 24 (Colliers

Way) can be picked up onceyou’ve gone through the tunnels(heading south) and thispicturesque route takes inDundas Aquaduct and Frome.If the tunnels themselves are

enough and you’re heading backto Bristol, you can pick upSustrans Route Four and cyclealongside the Kennet & AvonCanal, which will take you backinto the city centre all the wayto Bath Spa, where you can getthe train back to Bristol.It’s worth noting that if there

has been particularly heavy rainon the day you take on theroute, or in the days leading upto your trip, that some parts ofthe canal towpath can hold afew puddles, so beware.For details on all the cycle andpedestrian routes that link theTwo Tunnels to the wider Batharea, see www.sustrans.org.uk

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Further afield WestonbirtArboretum dog walking

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EATING OUT Reviews by Mark Taylor

Lunch on a budgetStokes Croft cool in a flatbread

Lunch at the desk Supersandwiches and jovial staff

Verdict

Verdict

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Verdict

Dinner for grown-upsA trip to the seaside in the city

Pre-theatre dinnerFrench country influences

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EATING INGood thingscome in theselittle parcels

Tim Homewood and AngelaMorris produce a range ofaward-winning ewes milkcheeses from their base inthe Mendips and sell themthrough localdelicatessens and markets

including Wednesday’s weekly CornStreet farmers’ market in Bristol.The Homewood cheeses include fresh

ewes cheese, ricotta, halloumi and thesignature Old Demdike, a washed curdsemi-hard cheese matured for up to fivemonths.Tim and Angela’s cheeses appear on

the menus of a number of toprestaurants in Bristol and Bath,including the Acorn Vegetarian Kitchen,a new vegetarian business in Bath’sNorth Parade Passage.Chefs Richard Buckley and Jack Kelly

use local and organic suppliers to createtheir innovative seasonal vegetariandishes.The restaurant has just self-published

its first collection of recipes, includingthis delicious dish of ewes cheeseparcels.“We want to make vegetarian food not

only delicious and interesting but theoutstanding equal of non-vegetarianfood,” says Richard Buckley.He adds: “You could make this dish

without Homewood Farm’s incrediblefresh ewe’s cheese.“You could use a crumbly goat’s

cheese instead. But then you could do agreat many things in life.“If you haven’t tasted Tim’s incredible

ewes cheeses then you don’t know whatyou’re missing.“Instead of substituting the dish I

recommend you get in a car or on a bikeor put on your boots and get down tothem to pick some up.”

For more about Homewood Cheeses, seewww.homewoodcheeses.co.uk

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TRAVEL

BEAUTY OF THE BRECONSUK travel Ian Onions discovers the delights of the Brecon Beacons which is only a short hop from the Bristol area

and offers loads to do for all the family, stunning views and delicious food

If you love the Great Outdoors, thenthere is a jewel on our doorstepswhich is well worth a visit – again andagain. Just under two hours fromBristol, and mostly on fast roads, youcan find yourself staring at the ruggedbeauty of the Brecon Beacons,

standing majestic as the centrepiece of aproud and popular national park.We spent three days there during the

summer but enjoyed it so much, we relishedthe chance to go again during half-term.Instead of staying in Bed & Breakfast, this

time we had a lovely rustic cottage on an

organic farm which seemed to be miles fromanywhere but in fact was less than a coupleof miles away from the centre of Brecon, asmall, upmarket Cathedral city which hassome similarities with Wells in Somerset.The cottage, complete with log fire and

loveable Meg, the farmhouse Collie whovisited us each day, gave us a comfy centralbase to explore the park.We stopped en route to the Beacons for a

walk from Talybont-on-Usk to the nearbyreservoir along an old drover’s trail, overthe dam and back for lunch in front of a logfire at the White Hart Inn next to the

Monmouthshire and Brecon Canal. Furtherup the road on the right hand side of thereservoir are some waterfall walks which areexcellent for family trips.On our second day, my wife and daughter

went horse-riding from the Cantref RidingCentre which is only a couple of milesoutside Brecon. This is the only ridingcentre which offers rides on the Beaconsand caters for riders of all ages and abilities.The staff are friendly and helpful and the

horses are well looked after.We also recommend Llangorse Riding

Centre, which offers rides on the Black

27

Check out the Sunday Sleepover deals whichoffer Sunday lunch, supper, overnight stayand breakfast for less than £100 per person.We would also like to recommend The Mill

at Talgarth which bakes its own bread andthe café at Brecon Cathedral which offersexcellent home-made cooking.Although I cycle to work each day, I have

never been mountain biking and so this wassomething new for me. I discovered howeasy it was to hire bikes for half-a-day andwhich took us on an 18-mile route over theBlack Mountains. It was very steep in places,wet and boggy but great fun!On one of the nights, we had a crystal

clear sky which reminded me that theBrecon Beacons is only the fifth worldwidesite to become a designated Dark SkyReserve. My son pointed out to me theMilky Way, which was awe-inspiring.There’s no denying that Wales has a

reputation for rain but we found that as longas you are togged up with the right gear,then this should not prevent you fromhaving a good time.If it’s chucking it down, we suggest visiting

the bookshops at Hay-on-Wye, taking a tripto The Big Pit at Blaenavon or watching thered kites being fed at Rhayader.Our trip was organised by Brecon Beacons

Holiday Cottages which offers a wide rangeof places to stay to suit all price ranges andnumber of people. Staff are friendly andhelpful and loaded with local knowledge.They also offer Tomos the Twizzy for hire,

a little two-seater electric car which is greatfun for getting from A to B and draws staresand waves from everyone you pass.

Mountains.While they explored the Beacons on

horseback, I went with my son for a roundof golf at Cradoc, a few miles north ofBrecon. This well-kept course boasts trulymagnificent views of the mountains. Onmore than one occasion, I looked sadlyskywards after a three-putt only for myemotions to change to wonder as I staredout to Pen-y-Fan, the tallest peak.On a clear day, a walk up Pen-y-Fan is well

worth the effort because the views from thesummit are truly breathtaking.There is a well-defined path which is fairly

easy going although you do need to keepwell away from a sheer drop near the top.There is plenty of car-parking on the road

below, which sports a couple of useful laybysnack bars.In the evening, we treated ourselves to a

top meal at the Felin Fach Griffin, a rusticcenturies-old coaching inn on the main roadbetween Brecon and Hay-on-Wye. Theexperience of eating here proved to be oneof the highlights of our visit and we foundourselves enjoying top quality food. Maincourses cost under £20 per person while theautumn set supper offers three courses at£28.50. The treble-cooked chips are amazing.

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Through jungle in search of the awe-inspiring jaguar

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Age is no barrier for these late-starter rockers

When theywere youngmen, theyused todream ofbeing popstars. Then

life got in the way.Today, all aged in their 50s,

ambition still burns brightly forJames, Eddie, Mike, Adam andthe two Tims – collectivelyknown as Police Dog Hogan –even with a combined age of 323and careers as barristers, mediamoguls and journalists.They may have mortgages and

families, proper jobs and theodd bad back, but when theystep onstage, kicking up acountry, folk and bluegrass-flavoured storm, that dream hasnever been more alive.“Back then we imagined we

would soon be shooting videoson a beach in Sri Lanka,” saysJames Studholme, lead singer,guitarist and founder of topadvertising production companyBlink, which is famous for theCadbury’s Gorilla and JohnLewis Christmas adverts.So far, the band’s videos have

been shot mostly in Devon, Kentand South London.

“The furthest we’ve got isScotland,” says James – though,thanks to his day job, they havebeen made by some of Britain’sbrightest young film makers.There has never been a rule to

stop people forming a band atthe time of life when many oftheir contemporaries arethinking of a retirement filledwith golf.“I can’t actually think of a

single other band who began intheir 40s or 50s,” muses banjoplayer and journalist TimDowling, who chronicles theband’s adventures in his weeklyGuardian column.“But plenty of bands older

than us are as popular as ever –I mean, last year’s hottest ticketwas The Rolling Stones.”Police Dog Hogan might never

scale those heights, but theiruniquely English take onAmericana-flavoured rootsmusic has already won themplenty of fans.“It’s really important for us

that we’re not pretending to beAmerican, or anything else we’renot,” says Eddie Bishop,barrister by day and fiddleplayer by night.“We are middle-aged men from

England – apart from TimDowling, who is American – andour songs reflect that.”Like all the best bands, Police

Dog Hogan sing of the thingsthat matter to people like them.A high-energy and eclectic

seven-piece, they combinefiddle, banjo, mandolin, drumsand guitars with four-partharmonies in an exuberantfusing of country, pop, folk, androcking urban bluegrass.They have foot-stomping

hoedown tunes in the style ofThe Pogues. They do wistful andelegaic songs drawn fromliterature and life.The One On The Left is

inspired by finding an oldphotograph and imagining whatmight have happened to a longdeparted sibling.Rivers Of London immortalises

the equally long-forgottentributaries of the Thames – theFleet, the Effra, the Tyburn –while Crackington takes carefulaim at a man whose mid-lifecrisis leads him to pursue afoolish dream.True to the spirit of old-time

country music, they are notaverse to poking fun atthemselves to raise a laugh, in

songs like A Man Needs A Shedand Shitty White Wine.Then there is the live

favourite La Moutarde de Dijon, aCajun-flavoured two-step payingtribute to their preference forFrench mustard over ourperfectly good homegrowncondiment.Seasoned travellers they may

be, having clocked up more than100 lives shows and become afirm fixture on the festivalcircuit, but the journey of PoliceDog Hogan is only justbeginning.The band’s recent second

album, From the Land ofMiracles, was produced by EliotJames, who also producedalbums by the Kaiser Chiefs,Bloc Party, Noah and the Whaleand Two Door Cinema Club.Founded in 2010, the band is

now gigging in earnest, buoyedby a rapturous reception atfestivals last summer, withappearances on major stages atCornbury, Camp Bestival,Larmer Tree and Kendal Calling.In a short time, and with a

string of sold-out shows, theband has gained a reputation forblistering live performances.

David Marks

31

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You’ll find Filini at Radisson Blu HotelBroad Quay, BristolBS1 4BY, United Kingdomtel +44 (0) 117 934 9500www.radissonblu.com/hotel-bristolwww.filinirestaurantbristol.co.uk

ContemporaryItalian diningat Filini bar & restaurant,Radisson Blu Hotel, Bristol

Fresh and mouthwatering dishes fromthe heart of Italy and Sardinia

33

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40 Weekend From Friday, February 7, 2014

FILM

Finding life in the shadow of death

Verdict

Nominated for six AcademyAwards including BestPicture, Dallas Buyers Club isa profoundly moving biopicof a hard-drinking Texanelectrician, who refused topassively accept that his

HIV-positive diagnosis in the mid 1980s wasa death sentence.Instead, Ron Woodroof smuggled a

cocktail of unapproved drugs into Americain direct defiance of his physician, whobelieved clinical trials were the only way tocombat the virus.Woodroof established a club to sell

medications to other HIV-positive patientsbut his actions drew the attention of policeand the Food and Drug Administration(FDA), which at that time took eight to 12years to approve a new drug.Ron didn’t have time on his side – doctors

expected him to be dead within a month –so he bent the rules to stay alive.His inspirational crusade became a

beacon of hope: Woodroof died onSeptember 12, 1992, several years after hewas diagnosed with the virus.Jean-Marc Vallee’s well crafted picture

opens at a rodeo ring where Ron (Matthew

McConaughey) is engaged in unprotectedsex with two women in the bull stall.A few days later at work, he is

electrocuted and regains consciousness atDallas Mercy Hospital where Dr NathanSevard (Denis O’Hare) and colleague Dr EveSaks (Jennifer Garner) deliver the hammerblow: blood tests have confirmed that Ron isHIV-positive.“Based on your condition, we estimate

that you have about 30 days to get youraffairs in order,” Dr Sevard tells Ron.“I got a news flash for y’all,” barks the

patient, “there ain’t nothin’ out there thatcan kill Ron Woodroof in 30 days.”Very quickly, Ron accepts the diagnosis

and travels to Mexico to source nonFDA-approved AZT from Dr Vass (GriffinDunne). The medic shatters Ron’s hopes.“The only people AZT helps are the

people who sell it. It kills every cell it comesin contact with, good and bad,” confides DrVass, who prescribes other drugs andvitamins.This cocktail keeps Ron alive and he goes

into business with an HIV-positivetransvestite called Rayon (Jared Leto, leadsinger of 30 Seconds to Mars) to peddle thesame pills to gay men living with the virus.

Dallas Buyers Club doesn’t sugar-coat abitter pill. Woodroof isn’t portrayed as aflawless, morally robust hero.However, the friendship with Rayon opens

Ron’s eyes to the lasting good he canachieve through his business.McConaughey is mesmerising, shedding

40 pounds to convincingly portray theemaciated sandy-haired hustler, who daredto live only when he had a death sentencehanging over his cowboy hat.Leto is equally compelling, concealing his

character’s pain behind the armour of fakeeyelashes, earrings and painted nails.Screenwriters Craig Borten and Melisa

Wallack exercise some artistic licence:Rayon is a fictional creation. However, theseadditions don’t detract from the emotionalwallop of Jean-Marc Vallee’s film, or from thedaring of Ron’s enterprise.

From Friday, February 7, 2014 Weekend 41

Adventures in history with a talking dog

Verdict

Man is a dog’s best friend inRob Minkoff’scomputer-animatedtime-travelling yarn basedon characters created for1960s TV’s The Rocky AndBullwinkle Show.

Mr Peabody & Sherman harnesses thelatest digital trickery to propel thehyper-intelligent canine protagonist and hisadopted son on a rip-roaring adventure withstops in besieged Troy, 18th-century Franceand the Italian Renaissance.As a potted history lesson, the film

shoehorns facts and figures including themummification rituals of King Tutankhamun(voiced by Zach Callison) betweenbreathlessly orchestrated action set-piecesand slapstick humour.Craig Wright’s smart script refuses to roll

over for sugary sentiment, charting a lessobvious route to our heartstrings as thefour-legged lead character learns that whenhis son says, “I love you”, it’s unacceptableto reply, “I have a deep regard for you too”.Mr Peabody (voiced by Ty Burrell) is a

talking dog, whose myriad achievementsinclude a Nobel Prize, two Olympic medalsand the invention of Zumba.

He has captains of industry on speed-dialbut Mr Peabody’s greatest triumph is hisadopted son, Sherman (Max Charles), whohas nurtured a fascination with history byaccompanying his father on time-travellingexpeditions using the top-secret WaybackMachine.On his first day at school, Sherman

antagonises class swot Penny Peterson(Ariel Winter) and the youngsters get in afight, which culminates in the lad biting hisnemesis.Dastardly child protective services officer

Mrs Grunion (Allison Janney) threatens totake Sherman away from his father andinsists on a home visit to gauge MrPeabody’s suitability as a carer.The plucky pooch invites Penny and her

parents Paul (Stephen Colbert) and Patty(Leslie Mann) to his plush New York homein the hope of patching up the children’sdifferences in front of Mrs Grunion.Instead, Sherman lets slip about the

Wayback Machine to Penny and theclassmates accidentally create ripplesthrough time. So the enterprising pooch andtroublesome tykes leap back into the deviceto repair the temporal damage.With limitless possibilities for sequels, Mr

Peabody & Sherman maintains a pace briskto ensure younger audiences are engaged.A prelude detailing Mr Peabody’s difficult

puppy years is hysterical – he refuses tochase a stick thrown by one boy because,“You’ll just throw it again. It’s an exercise infutility”.Mr Peabody’s groansome puns, the stock

in trade of any parent, elicit a bewilderedresponse from Sherman – “I don’t get it” –that provides the film with one of its runningjokes.Famous figures including Leonardo da

Vinci (Stanley Tucci), Mona Lisa (Lake Bell)and Agamemnon (Patrick Warburton) litterthe haphazard narrative.However, it’s the touching central

relationship that anchors the picture andensures Minkoff’s colour-saturated romp is awell-groomed pick of the animated litter.

42

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THEATRE

You’ll need time for this timeless classic love story

It’s a very real love story,not a fairy tale. Jane andRochester get it wrongbefore they get it right –it’s a kind of damagedlove story in that way. Itfeels so much more real

that these wounded people findsolace with each other.”The speaker is Bristol actor

Felix Hayes, who is about to playthe leading man, the aloof andbrooding Rochester, in BristolOld Vic’s bold new two-partadaptation of Charlotte Brontë’sgreat novel, Jane Eyre.You’ll need plenty of time –

two free evenings or afternoonsin fact – to take in this boldre-imagining of Brontë’s timelessmasterpiece, which is beingpresented in two parts.For those who have the

stamina, you can watch thewhole thing in one mammothsix-hour showing (featuring two15-minute intervals and onehour-long break) on March 28.The director is the brilliant

Sally Cookson, much admiredfor her work on BOV’s TreasureIsland, Peter Pan, The Boy WhoCried Wolf and many others.Part one of this vivid re-telling

will take audiences from Jane’schildhood at Reed Manor, to herhardships as a pupil at theaustere Lowood School – and onto Thornfield, where Janeencounters the man whochallenges her own passion andintegrity. Part two follows Jane’srage against the injustice ofsociety, the discovery of a bitterbetrayal – and her ultimatedecision to follow her heart.As Sally explains, the essence

of the story lies in one woman’sfight for freedom.“Jane Eyre is a strong and

spirited heroine who, despitehumble beginnings, faces life’sobstacles head-on and followsher own path. Almost 170 yearson, there is still much inBrontë’s story of the trailblazingJane and the charismatic yetvulnerable Mr Rochester to

inspire us today.”Madeleine Worrall plays Jane

Eyre. One of the great femalecharacters in English literature –but what is her draw, and howmuch of a challenge will it be torender her onstage?“Jane is tough, and strange,

and unapologetic. One of thethings we’ve struggled with isher internal voice.“A lot of what we know about

Jane from the book comes fromher internal monologues – butwe can’t just have someonereading her thoughts. So theensemble often characterisewhat Jane is thinking.”So the show mixes text, music

and visual theatre.Madeleine says: “It’s all

completely integrated. Sally isvery skilled at not using toomany words. She lets the musicspeak for itself and lets theaudience make links in their ownheads. She understandscompletely what is important tothe story and doesn’t try and

impose meanings for the sake ofit; but at the same time shebrings something completelynew. It will be beautiful, andfresh, and other-worldly.”Felix, it’s worth noting, is a

very funny actor – inShakespeare at the TobaccoFactory’s 2010 MidsummerNight’s Dream his Tom Snout –and in particular the latter’simpassive rendition of a Wall –had audiences in stitches.Is there scope for humour?“I think Rochester is funny!

He’s so full of wit: he’s so dryand cutting. You can think of itas a very dry love story, butactually it is full of heart andthere are funny sparks.”Madeleine adds: “The

narrative voice is acerbic andquesting – it asks why womenshould have to put up withembroidery or stuffing a turkey.“It questions how someone

can live – as a woman or as aman – in a community thatdoesn’t allow you freedom.”

“

45

46

Every winter andspring, Bristol’sacclaimed theatrecompanyShakespeare at theTobacco Factorymake their annual

return, staging a brace of plays –one or both always from theBard’s back catalogue – on theTobacco Factory’s intimatestage.And this two- to three-month

residency is an undoubtedhighlight of Bristol’s (even theUK’s) theatrical year: SATTF’srenderings of Shakespeare,Chekhov and otherheavyweights of world dramaare incredible pieces of work.What defines them is their

immense emotional power andutter conviction, and this in turncomes from a few differentthings. The staging, simple andelegant, in the Factory’sintimate, spare space, allowingthe actual text and characters tospeak through all the louder,without elaborate scenechanges in ornate theatrespaces to distract.A cast that, each year, is

painstakingly hand-picked fromthe best actors working inBristol and beyond; a stagingand design team at the top oftheir game, who know that less

“Rosalind will be far from the cooland confident Rosalind of tradition

can often be more.Led by company founder and

Artistic Director Andrew Hilton,a close searching of the text forall its hidden meanings andemotional resonances, meansthat each cast member seems tocompletely inhabit theircharacter.In short, as critics from all the

national newspapers and theatrejournals have agreed year afteryear, SATTF make very finetheatre that often reveals newlevels of meaning, emotionalpower and humour to plays youthought you knew inside out.This year, the company’s

fifteenth season, features areturn for As You Like It(February 13 - March 22 andApril 22 - May 2), the pastoralcomedy with which SATTFscored an early hit back in 2003.Expelled from the city,

Rosalind and Orlando – the onefleeing a tyrannous uncle, theother a murderous brother –rediscover each other in theForest of Arden. But what awaits

The Bard is back in town

them in that Arcadianwilderness? Will they find truelove, or just lose themselves?“Both funny and moving, this

is Shakespeare’s greatestexploration of the meaning oflove, its madness andtranscendence,” says AndrewHilton.So, how will SATTF’s 2014 As

You Like It differ from the 2003production?“We have taken the decision

to set the play even closer toour own time than we did in2003, when we set itmid-eighteenth century,”Andrew reveals.“But the change of personnel

is the crucial factor.“This production may turn out

to her a little darker in mood,though I hope no less funny,than our 2003 production.Certainly we intend to show theforest just emerging from winter.“And Dorothea Myer-Bennett’s

Rosalind will be far from thecool and confident Rosalind oftradition, teasing Orlando for his

unquestioning romanticism; themeaning of love, and of romanticfaith are urgent, and disturbing,questions for her, too.”SATTF are pairing

Shakespeare’s comedy withArcadia (March 27 - April 19 andApril 24 - May 3), TomStoppard’s clever, mesmerising‘comedy of ideas’ set at thesame grand country house intwo separate time periods.In 1809, Lady Croom detests

the Romantic vision of herlandscape gardener, whilst herdaughter tussles with her tutorover the chaotic nature of realityand over the salacious goings-onin the gazebo.In the present day, a historian

and a university don come toblows over the estate’smysterious hermit.“Arcadia is great theatre,”

Andrew enthuses. “Yes, thereare complex ideas aboutmathematics, determinism andchaos theory – as well as fizzingStoppardian wit – but at itscentre is human drama, and therelationships between itsprotagonists which bestride agreat arch from the comic to thetruly tragic. Then there is thegreat arch of time, from 1809 tonow – the accidental nature ofdestiny, and the fallibility ofhistory and record.”

47

48

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Watercolours that make you wish you were here

ART

The landscapesdepicted in theethereal paintingsof Bristol artistKate Evans seemboth familiar andunknowable –

depicting both an actuallocation, be it in the Alps or theAmerican West, and also amental landscape, an internalplace of isolation and retreat.And, as Kate explains of her

hauntingly beautiful paintings,this duality is deliberate.“My paintings are always of

places I’ve travelled to orvisited,” she reveals.“I like the idea of a painting

transporting you to anotherplace or time. It’s this feeling ofescapism, and the fantasy andpromise of being in anotherlocation that I’m trying to create– not that I don’t love being inBristol!“But, having grown up in the

countryside, I crave space awayfrom the city, and a lot of mypaintings have a sense of

isolation and desolation.“My travels in the Alps,

America and south-east Asia allfeature in my work, but I’mreally just trying to create anatmosphere or a window intoanother world, rather thandepict a specific place.”You can see a selection of

these beautiful, half-imaginedlandscapes at Bristol’s superbitinerant gallery Antlers over thenext three weeks.The gallery, which has taken

up residence for the foreseeablefuture in a shop unit onChristmas Steps in the centre oftown, is showing a selection ofKate’s elegant paintings in whichuninhabited panoramic vistasand isolated cabins are setagainst large areas of negativespace, echoing this yearning forfreedom.Says Jack Gibbon, Antlers

Gallery Director: “Although herworks are watercolours oflandscapes, Kate’s intricacy oftechnique and use of negativespace mean that they transcendmere representation.“Playing on the

insubstantiality of thewatercolour medium, andcombining it with the scale and

delicacy of her pieces, Katecreates locations that are richand inviting – yetsimultaneously intangible andephemeral.”Since graduating in Illustration

from Falmouth College of Arts in2006, Kate has worked in bothLondon and Bristol as afreelance illustrator with clientsincluding V&A Magazine, HarperCollins, The Guardian andTransport for London. She hasmoved relatively recently intoFine Art, largely as a result ofsome of the influences that havesurrounded her as a member ofBristol’s Jamaica Street Studios.“Since moving into the studios

at Jamaica Street my work haschanged a lot,” Kateacknowledges.“Being surrounded by fine

artists has had a massive impacton the way I work, and I’veslowly made a transition fromillustrator to painter.“It’s so liberating being able to

draw or paint expressivelyrather than trying to please anart director. I can choose thesubjects that I paint, and ofcourse my work is now muchmore personal. I suppose fineartists seem to receive a lot

more respect than illustratorstoo, which I do feel is unfair.”She’s also found herself

turning increasingly towatercolour as her medium ofchoice.“I always used to use a variety

of media within one image.Pencil, collage, felt-tipped pens –any mixture that would createthe desired effect. But I foundincreasingly that watercolourcould create the delicate,layered effect I wanted.“I love that it can either be

used in a light, subtle way,almost like a pencil mark, orapplied quite thickly so that thepigment becomes deep and rich.“I also find the way the

pigments separate actually quiteexciting – it’s almost beyondyour control.“Watercolour has a rather

old-fashioned reputation, and Ihope to challenge thatperception by creating verycontemporary pieces. As amedium, it is quite freeing andallows you to work in a moredirect way. It forces you to beless precious about your worktoo. You can’t rub it out or paintover it – once it’s down on thepaper there’s no going back.”

52

Don’t miss Oneself as Another

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54

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56

BOOKS

The author who reads the small print

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58

PROPERTY

HOUSE OF GLASS

When it comes to windowsin a house, bigger isbetter – and they don’tcome much larger thanthis. Almost the entirefrontage of this place inDownend is glazed, so

you’ll appreciate the view even in inclementweather, and, when it’s warm and fine,simply recline on the wooden veranda, orthe balcony above.Most of the ground floor is taken up with a

combined lounge and dining room, thekitchen and a sun room, with the remainingspace occupied by a shower, utility roomand a decent cupboard under the stairs.The pale painted reception room has

some exposed beams, a lovely parquet floor,and a fireplace recess with wood burner.Overlooking the rear garden, the kitchen

has windows on two sides, pale units withwooden work surfaces over, space for afridge/freezer and range oven and anintegrated microwave and dishwasher.From the utility room (with space for a

washing machine) there’s a glazed dooropening to the garden.Built on the side of the house is the sun

room, with oak flooring, fitted units, threeskylights, floor-to-ceiling windows and aglazed door. A bright office perhaps?Moving up to the landing, you’ll notice

wood panelling and oak beams.As you’d expect, the two bigger bedrooms

have access to the balcony (and one ofthem has fitted wardrobes), while the thirdbedroom doesn’t miss out either, having aJuliet balcony, and the fourth bedroomopens, via a glazed door, on to the reargarden.

Finishing the first floor is a bath/showerroom. Elsewhere on the plot is a workshop,summer house and a sloping garden, withlawns, patio and mature shrubs, measuringapproximately 80ft by 70ft.Further benefits include gas central

heating, double glazing, and a garage in anearby block.

Property of the week Stanbridge Close, Downend

59

Just 5min from J17 M5 Cribbs CausewayAmple Free Parking!

Feeding someone as agesture of affection, oran attempt to win it?

We have all you need

Hearty Beef Steak

for your loved one

this Valentine

With fresh produce & local ingredients, friendly staffare all the things you can expect when you visit us.We have an extensive meat counter serving you with adelicious selection of the finest cuts of meat in the region.We now sell local Gloucester Old Spot pork which is rearedless than 5 miles from our shop. With a pedigree datingback to 1913 they are the oldest pedigree spotted pigs inthe world! They are a slow growing pig which results inthe meat being more succulent & tasty than normal pork.We cure, smoke & cook our own products & make our ownfaggots & scotch eggs. We have small & large hand raisedpork pies & local clarks pies, salamis, chitterling & exoticmeats like wild boar, kangaroo, ostrich, pheasant, gui-neafowl, pigeon & duck. We vary our homemade sausageflavours week by week. 8 Varieties at one time on averagefrom plain pork, gluten free, venison, game, pork &cranberry, beef & chilli, beef & stilton, lamb & mint tojamaican curried goat.

• Local ciders on draught • Hog Roast Available for Hireon request • Sundays open for indoor car-boot sale

• Locally produced compost and Somerset top soil • Now offeringa large range of horse and pet supplies at discounted prices

We sell free range duck & hen eggs. Cakes, chutneys, pickles, sauces & preserves.A wide variety of cheese’s & a selection of fresh fruit & vegetables.

So why not pop in & give us a try today!

Shop opening hours:- Mon-Sat 8am-4pmNow open Sundays 9am - 1pmWebsite:- eastercomptonfarmshop.co.ukAddress: Easter Compton Farm Shop, Mainroad,Easter Compton, Bristol BS35 5RETel 01454 632529 Fax 01454 6337006 Day a week delivery service to the catering tradeA price list is available on request

New special offers in storeeach week

We sell the finest quality meat andpoultry. We make all of our sausages andburgers with the best quality meats.

Free homedeliveryon ordersover £50

Easter ComptonFarm Shop

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Looking for some deals to spruce up your home? Alison Cork, from HomesAndBargains.co.uk, has put together these latest offers

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With five showroomsthroughout the regionand its main office and

central warehouse in Clevedon,Timbercraft has much to offercustomers from Bristol andbeyond.Through the network of

showrooms we offer a superbrange of kitchens, bathroomsand bedrooms, with a strongemphasis on quality.Above all else, our fitting

service is fully comprehensive,so that clients know they willonly ever need to deal with onecompany to resolve all issuesregarding their project.We have built up a robust

system of checking each order tominimise errors and a superiorlevel of site supervision so thatevery job is thoroughly surveyedbefore any orders are placed forgoods. For each project there is adesignated installer overseen byan experienced project managerand backed by in-housecustomer services staff.

If you are looking to replaceyour kitchen, bathroom orbedroom, then pay us a visit.The showrooms are all

designed with the customer inmind and, where possible, wehave set up “rooms” to simulatea real kitchen, bathroom orbedroom.Our showroom-based

specialist designers are highly

trained and have a wealth ofexperience, so they will make iteasy for you to envisage yourown home as it could be in thefuture. The showrooms are veryrelaxing places, with helpful,experienced staff who allowvisitors to browse in peace.

Our designer’s advice to you willbe entirely free. Our method ofoperation is to visit your hometo take a detailed brief of yourintended project.Measurements, often

supported by photographs, willbe taken of the existing space,which are kept on file so thedesigners can accurately planyour updated room.You will then be invited back

to one of the showrooms, wherethe designer will present ideas toyou in detail, using full-colourcomputerised imagery whichmeans you will be able to “see”the finished product.This is your opportunity to

fine tune the details, so that ascheme can be finalised whichfulfils all your requirements.At this juncture the designer

will be able to discuss costs insome detail with you anddifferent options can beexamined to achieve what youwant at a suitable price.At no time will you be

pressurised to go ahead withsomething you are not entirelyhappy with.

SHOWROOMS

DESIGN SERVICE

For many years now we haveoffered a fully comprehensiveinstallation service in contrast tomany of our competitors, whoare only set up to handle thecore installation work.Long ago we came to

recognise that people wouldprefer to deal with onecompany, who can do all thework, so that they do not haveto deal individually withtradesmen, whose workschedules may be difficult toco-ordinate.Very often we come across

kitchens or bathrooms where asmall amount of building workis required, for example a wall

ADVERTISING FEATURE

Whatever your needs, we have a fully comprehensive solution

ShowroomsClevedon: 21-25 Alexandra Rd;tel. 01275 872431.Keynsham: 29 High Street;tel. 0117 986 1896.Patchway: 69 Gloucester Rd;tel. 0117 904 6352.Thornbury: 44 High Street;tel. 01454 281 002.Wells: Units 3-4 Jocelyn Drive;tel. 01749 678140.

Web: www.timbercraft.co.uk.Email: [email protected] times:Monday toFriday, 9.30am to 5pm;Saturday, 10am to 4pm.

TIMBERCRAFTFACTFILE

needs removing or an area needsplastering.This is often inconvenient as

this work must be completedbefore the main installationworks can start.We spend a long time

scheduling each project, so that,wherever possible, one job canmove seamlessly to the next,with absolutely minimaldisruption. We also offer acomprehensive decorating andtiling service to ensure that allprojects can be supervised andcompleted by us.When customers decide to

proceed with us, we always givethem a schedule for the weekthe work will commence.Shortly after placing an order,one of our project managers willvisit your home to run throughthe job with you.Just before the work is due to

proceed, a customer servicesmanager contacts you toconfirm the start time.The customer service manager

is your main point of contactand will be in regular contactthroughout the project.One of our project managers

will oversee the work. They areall experienced installers and areultimately responsible forensuring that our very highstandards are maintained.Whatever your needs – a

kitchen, bedroom or bathroom– Timbercraft can provide theanswers with care andprofessionalism.

INSTALLATION

62

A wood chip off the old Seventies block

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TELEVISION

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6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 10.00 SaturdayKitchen Live (S,HD). 11.30 Food & Drink(R,S,HD). 12.00 Football Focus (S,HD). DanWalker and guests review the week’s action.12.45 Saturday Sportsday (S,HD). 1.00BBC News; Regional News and Weather(S,HD). 1.15 Bargain Hunt (R,S). 2.00 LiveSix Nations Rugby Union (S,HD). Ireland vWales (Kick-off 2.30pm). 4.30 Live SixNations Rugby Union (S,HD). Scotland vEngland (Kick-off 5.00pm).

7.10 The Voice UK (S,HD). 5/14. SeeChoices Above.

6.55 Regional News (S,HD).

8.35 The National Lottery: WhoDares Wins (S,HD). 6/8. Gameshow in which strangers pair upto win money.

9.25 Casualty (S,HD). 24/48. Amountain-bike race between aman and his stepson ends indisaster.

10.15 BBC News; Weather (S,HD).10.30Match of the Day (S,HD). Gary

Lineker presents highlights ofthe latest Premier Leaguematches, including Liverpool vArsenal at Anfield and SwanseaCity v Cardiff City at the LibertyStadium. Followed by NationalLottery Update.

12.00 The Football League Show (S).Highlights of today’s games in theChampionship, League One and LeagueTwo. 1.20 Weatherview (S). 1.25 BBCNews (S,HD).

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6.00 CITV. 9.25 ITV News (S). 9.30 DinnerDate (R,S). 10.25 Murder, She Wrote(R,S,HD). 11.25 ITV News and Weather (S).11.30 Catchphrase (R,S,HD). 12.15 TheCrocodile Hunter Diaries (R,S). 1.15Midsomer Murders (R,S). 3.15 You’veBeen Framed! (R,S). 4.15 ITV News WestCountry (S). 4.25 ITV News and Weather(S). 4.40 Film: Star Wars: Episode III –Revenge of the Sith (S,HD) (2005). Sci-fiadventure prequel.●●●●

6.10 The Hoobs (R,S). 7.00 Trans WorldSport (S). 8.00 The Morning Line (S,HD).9.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (R,S).9.30 Frasier (R,S). 10.00 The Big BangTheory (R,S,HD). 11.00 How I Met YourMother (S,HD). 12.00 The Simpsons(R,S). 12.30 Undercover Boss USA(R,S,HD). 1.30 Channel 4 Racing (S,HD).Live coverage from Newbury andWarwick. 4.00 Come Dine with Me(R,S,HD).

6.00 Milkshake!. 10.00 Film: AnAmerican Tail (S,HD) (1986). Animatedadventure, with the voice of Phillip Glasser.●●●● 11.35 Film: Thunderpants (S)(2002). Family comedy, starring Bruce Cook.●● 1.15 Film: Phenomenon (S) (1996). SeeChoices Above.●●● 3.40 DiagnosisMurder (R,S). 4.40 Film: Columbo: AnExercise in Fatality (S) (1974). Crimedrama, starring Peter Falk and RobertConrad.●●●

7.10 Splash! (S,HD). 6/7. SeeChoices Above.

6.05 Come Dine with Me (R,S,HD).Kim Connor hosts the finalparty in Huddersfield.

6.35 Channel 4 News (S).

6.40 NCIS (R,S). 11/24. A roboticvehicle causes the death of aNavy lieutenant.

10.55 ITV News and Weather (S);Weather.

1.05 Jackpot247. Interactive gaming. 3.00Ladette to Lady: Australia (R,S). The2010 winner is announced. Last in theseries. 3.45 ITV Nightscreen (HD). Text-based information service.

7.00 Bigfoot Files (R,S,HD). 3/3.Mark Evans travels to Russia toinvestigate the story of Zana, a“wild woman” said to havebeen found in the 1870s. Last inthe series.

8.00Walking Through History(S,HD). 1/3. See Choices Above.

9.00 Hostages (S,HD). 5/15. Ellenstruggles to make an agonisingchoice between saving herhusband or protecting herchildren, and is forced toperform emergency surgery inher own home.

10.00 Source Code (S,HD) (2011). Apilot investigates a bombing byhaving his mind transferredinto a victim for the last eightminutes of his life. Sci-fi thriller,with Jake Gyllenhaal andMichelle Monaghan.●●●●

2.25 Southland (R,S,HD). Tang spends herlast day on patrol. Last in the series. 3.10Hollyoaks (R,S,HD). Omnibus. 5.20 Dealor No Deal (R,S,HD). Beat-the-bankergame show.

7.30 NCIS (R,S,HD). 12/24. Thediscovery of a dead marineintelligence officer in a motelroom sets the team off on ahunt for her killer.

8.30 5 News Weekend (S,HD).8.35 The NCIS Movie: Enemies

(R,S,HD). 8&9/24. Feature-lengthepisode. Ziva confronts her pastwhen the team is ordered toprotect her father, Mossaddirector Eli David, at a gatheringof former heads of NCIS.

10.15Willed to Kill (S,HD) (2012).Premiere. A detective must faceup to her own troubledchildhood when a serial killerdevelops a twisted obsessionwith her. Thriller, with SarahJane Morris and Michael Riley.●●●

12.05 SuperCasino. Live interactivegaming. 3.10 Gibraltar: Britain in theSun (R,S,HD). 4.00 Wildlife SOS (R,S). 4.25Make It Big (R,S). 4.50 The Funky ValleyShow (R,S). 5.00 Angels of Jarm (R,S).5.10 Hana’s Helpline (R,S). 5.20 Angelsof Jarm (R,S). 5.25 The Funky ValleyShow (R,S). 5.40 Hana’s Helpline (R,S).5.50 Hana’s Helpline (R,S).

6.00 This Is BBC Two (S). 6.30 Film: AnnieOakley (S) (1935).●●● 8.00 Live WinterOlympics (S,HD). Coverage of the openingday of the Games from Russia. 11.00 SeeHear (S,HD). 11.30 Great British RailwayJourneys (R,S,HD). 12.00 The GreatBritish Bake Off Revisited (R,S). 1.00Film: Easy Virtue (S,HD) (2008). SeeChoices Above.●●● 2.30 Live WinterOlympics (S,HD). 4.30 Final Score (S,HD).5.10 Live Winter Olympics (S,HD).

7.00Winter Olympics: Today atthe Games (S,HD). C SeeChoices Above.

8.00 Torvill & Dean: The PerfectDay (R,S,HD). Documentarytelling the story behind ice-dancing duo Jayne Torvill andChristopher Dean’s gold medal-winning performance at the1984 Winter Olympics inSarajevo.

9.00 Dad’s Army (R,S). 1/14.Mainwaring decides theplatoon needs a mascot for abig parade.

9.30 Hanif Kureishi: Writers AreTrouble – A Culture ShowSpecial (S,HD).

10.30My Beautiful Laundrette (S)(1985). An ambitious Asianteenager joins forces with aformer National Front memberto open a trendy laundrette.Stephen Frears’ comedy drama,with Daniel Day-Lewis andGordonWarnecke.●●●●●

11.10 2 Fast 2 Furious (S,HD) (2003).Thriller sequel, starring PaulWalker.●●

11.40 Jackie Brown (S,HD) (1997).Crime drama, starring PamGrier.●●●●

12.05 Film: The Mother (S) (2003). Drama,starring Anne Reid.●●●● 1.50 This IsBBC Two (S). Preview of upcomingprogrammes.

after

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8.40 Take Me Out (S,HD). 6/8. Adisco-dancing bachelor, astockbroker, a nanny and astudent try to impress a panelof 30 single women and win adate to the Isle of Fernandos.Paddy McGuinness presents.

9.55 The Jonathan Ross Show(S,HD). 6/10. See ChoicesAbove.

Live Six Nations Rugby Union, 2pm Torvill & Dean… 8pm The Jonathan Ross Show, 9.55pm Hostages, 9pm The NCIS Movie: Enemies, 8.35pm

SPLASH!7.10pm, ITVFormer rugby union player Austin Healey,TOWIE star Dan Osborne, TV presenter AnnaWilliamson and Paralympic gold medallistRichard Whitehead don their swimwear oncemore to perform two dives each in the secondsemi-final. Mentored by Tom Daley, they’reaiming to impress the judges.

WINTER OLYMPICS:TODAY AT THE GAMES7pm, BBC2Clare Balding introduceshighlights from theopening day in Russia,where the first five goldmedals were decided invenues in Sochi and Krasnaya Polyana.

THE JONATHAN ROSS SHOW9.55pm, ITVThe host is joined by Kiefer Sutherland, whotalks about filming 24: Live Another Day, andEmily Mortimer, soon to be seen in Sky Livingcomedy Doll & Em. Plus, Chris O’Dowd(Bridesmaids) on his new film Cuban Fury, andcomedian Kevin Bridges, who discusses hisdecision to take a break from stand-up.

6.00 Beauty and the Geek (R).6.45 Coronation Street (S,HD).9.10 Emmerdale (S,HD). 12.10You’ve Been Framed! (R,S). 1.10You’ve Been Framed! FamilySpecial (R,S). 2.00 Totally You’veBeen Framed! (R,S). 3.00 Film:Dennis (S,HD) (1993).●●● 4.55Film: Horrid Henry: The Movie(S,HD) (2011). Children’s comedy,starring Theo Stevenson.●●

11.55 The MagalufWeekender (R,S,HD).5/6. A girl from Brightontries to seduce repJordan.

12.55 Tricked: Favourite Tricks(R,S,HD). Highlights from the series.1.55 Totally You’ve BeenFramed! (R,S). A review of theshow’s most comical clips. 2.45Teleshopping. Home shopping.5.45 ITV2 Nightscreen (HD). Text-based information service.

WALKING THROUGHHISTORY8pm, Channel 4New series. Tony Robinsonembarks on a towpathexploration of industrialengineering along the Leedsand Liverpool Canal, tracingthe story of its chaotic construction.

BBC1

THE VOICE UK7.10pm, BBC1Emma Willis andMarvin Humes arebackstage for thepenultimate week ofblind auditions, withthe judges looking tobolster their teams.

FILMRATINGS●●●●●Excellent●●●●Very good●●●Good●●Average●Poor(R) repeat(S) subtitles(HD) high-definition

TVPICK

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BBC2 ITV Channel 4 Channel 5 ITV2

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6.00 Beauty and the Geek (R).6.45 Coronation Street (S,HD).9.10 Emmerdale (S,HD). 12.10You’ve Been Framed! (R,S). 1.10You’ve Been Framed! FamilySpecial (R,S). 2.00 Totally You’veBeen Framed! (R,S). 3.00 Film:Dennis (S,HD) (1993).●●● 4.55Film: Horrid Henry: The Movie(S,HD) (2011). Children’s comedy,starring Theo Stevenson.●●

6.50 The Mummy: Tomb ofthe Dragon Emperor(S,HD) (2008). Fantasyadventure sequel,starring Brendan Fraser.●●

11.55 The MagalufWeekender (R,S,HD).5/6. A girl from Brightontries to seduce repJordan.

12.55 Tricked: Favourite Tricks(R,S,HD). Highlights from the series.1.55 Totally You’ve BeenFramed! (R,S). A review of theshow’s most comical clips. 2.45Teleshopping. Home shopping.5.45 ITV2 Nightscreen (HD). Text-based information service.

9.00 The ShawshankRedemption (S,HD)(1994). A bankerwrongly jailed for hiswife’s murder forms anextraordinary friendshipwith a fellow inmate andconceives a uniqueescape plan. Drama, withTim Robbins and MorganFreeman. Including FYIDaily.●●●●●

6.00 How I Met YourMother (R,S,HD). 1/22.

6.30 The Big Bang Theory(R,S,HD). 10/24. Stuartasks Amy out on a date.

6.00 Switched (R,S). 6.25 Make It orBreak It (R,S,HD). 7.10 Ugly Betty(R,S,HD). 8.00 Charmed (R,S). 9.00Glee (R,S,HD). 10.00 The MindyProject (R,S,HD). 11.00 Rules ofEngagement (R,S,HD). 1.30How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD).2.30 The Mindy Project (R,S,HD).3.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD).4.00 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD).5.00 How I Met Your Mother(R,S,HD).

7.00 The Big Bang Theory(R,S,HD). 11/24. Leonardconfronts a bully fromhis past.


8.00 The Tomorrow People(R,S,HD). 5/22. SeeChoices Above.

12.05 The Midnight Beast (R,S,HD).12.40 My Mad Fat Diary (R,S,HD).1.45 How I Met Your Mother(R,S,HD). 2.15 How I Met YourMother (R,S,HD). 2.40 How I MetYour Mother (R,S,HD). 3.00 RudeTube: Rude Zoo (R,S,HD). 3.50 TheRicky Gervais Show (R,S,HD). 4.15Glee (R,S,HD). 5.00 Ugly Betty

9.00 Beverly Hills Cop(S,HD) (1984). A Detroitcop goes to Los Angelesto track down the killersof his friend, who areworking for anuntouchable drugkingpin. Comedy thriller,with Eddie Murphy andJudge Reinhold.●●●●

6.00 Harrow: A Very BritishSchool (R,S,HD). 3/8.Sixth-former Shraidirects his friends in aplay.

6.00 Glee (R,S,HD). 8.00 TheFantasy Football Club. 9.00Game Changers. 10.00 SoccerAM. 12.00 WWE Superstars. Around-up of all the latest wrestlingnews. 1.00 Ashley Banjo’s BigTown Dance (R,S,HD). 2.00 Sinbad(R,S,HD). 3.00 Futurama (R,S). 4.00Modern Family (R,S,HD). 5.00Greggs: More Than Meats thePie (R,S,HD).

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S).9/22.


7.55 Cheaper By the Dozen(S) (2003). A couple with

12 children plan to makea fresh start in a newtown, but nothing goesaccording to plan.Remake of the 1950comedy, with SteveMartin, Bonnie Hunt andPiper Perabo.●●

10.00 The Kumars (R,S,HD).4/6. Actors Brian Blessed,Jenny Agutter andAdrian Lester are theguests on the home-made comedy chatshow, with music byformer Westlife starShane Filan. Hosted bySanjeev Bhaskar.

12.00 Flintoff: From Lord’s tothe Ring (R,S,HD). Andrew Flintoffpursues a new career as a boxer.1.00 Brit Cops: Rapid Response(R,S). 2.00 Brit Cops: RapidResponse (R,S). 3.00 Brit Cops:Rapid Response (R,S). 4.00 CrashTest Dummies (R,S,HD). 5.00Crash Test Dummies (R,S,HD).

11.00 A League of TheirOwn: Unseen (R,S,HD).9/10. James Cordenintroduces out-takesfrom the comedy quiz.

9.50 Futurama: Welcome tothe World ofTomorrow (R,S,HD).Behind the scenes of theanimated series.

6.25 Harry Hill’s TV Burp.10/13. Comic view ofsmall-screen highlights.

6.55 Fawlty Towers (S). 4/6.

6.00 Keeping Up Appearances(S). 8.15 Jeeves and Wooster(S). Bertie is arrested during a raidon a nightclub. 9.35 Last ofthe Summer Wine (S).11.35 One Foot in the Grave(S). 2.15 Keeping UpAppearances (S). 4.55 HarryHill’s TV Burp. The comic takes asurreal look at small-screenhighlights.

7.35 Fawlty Towers (S). 5/6.Basil holds a gourmetnight.

8.15 Fawlty Towers (S). 1/6.An abrasive guestexasperates Basil.

10.20 The Office (S). 6/6. Brentis offered a promotion.

11.00 Yes Minister (S). 5/7.Hacker hatches a cost-cutting plan.

11.40 Yes Minister (S). 6/7.Hacker is kept in thedark.

12.20 The Office (S). A stafftraining day turns into a sing-song.1.00 The Office (S). Brent employsa new secretary. 1.30 The Office(S). Brent is offered a promotion.2.00 Yes Minister (S). Hackerhatches a cost-cutting plan. 2.30Yes Minister (S). Hacker is kept inthe dark. 3.00 Close

9.00 The Office (S). 4/6. Astaff training day turnsinto a sing-song.

9.40 The Office (S). 5/6. Brentemploys a new secretary.

6.00 Football Gold (S). 6.30Ringside (HD). 7.30 PremierLeague Preview (HD). 8.00 TheFantasy Football Club (HD). 9.00Game Changers (HD). 10.00Soccer AM (HD). 12.00 FL72 Live(HD). 2.30 Saturday Team Talk(HD). 3.00 Soccer Saturday (HD).5.00 Live Saturday NightFootball (HD). Swansea City vCardiff City (Kick-off 5.30pm).

11.30 FL72 Highlights (HD).Yeovil Town v LeedsUnited.

12.00 Saturday Reloaded (S,HD).1.00 SNF – Match Choice (HD).Extended highlights from thePremier League. 2.30 SNF – MatchChoice (HD). Extended highlightsfrom the Premier League. 4.00 SNF– Match Choice (HD). Extendedhighlights from the Premier League.5.30 FL72 Highlights (HD).

10.00 SNF – Match Choice(HD). Sarah-Jane Meepresents extendedhighlights from thePremier League,allowing viewers toaccess the latest round oftop-flight fixtures,including Chelsea vNewcastle United.

The Mummy… 6.50pm The Tomorrow People, 8pm The Kumars, 10pm The Office, 9pm FL72 Live, 12pm

WALKING THROUGHHISTORY8pm, Channel 4New series. Tony Robinsonembarks on a towpathexploration of industrialengineering along the Leedsand Liverpool Canal, tracingthe story of its chaotic construction.

THE TOMORROW PEOPLE8pm, E4Stephen breaks Ultra protocol during atraining exercise, and Jedikiah’s mysteriousboss insists on meeting him. Meanwhile, Caraand John debate whether going to anightclub party is too dangerous, and Astridfinds out what Stephen is really up to.American sci-fi drama, starring Robbie Amell.

11.05 Rude Tube: Rude Zoo(R,S,HD). 7/8. A selectionof the internet’s funniestanimal clips.

8.00 SNF – Game of the Day(HD). Sarah-Jane Meepresents a full re-run ofthe day’s top PremierLeague match.

7.00 Great MovieMistakes 2: TheSequel (R,S).Presented byRobert Webb.

8.00 Top Gear(R,S,HD). Olderhot hatches areput to the test.

9.00 Enemy of theState (S,HD)(1998). Anencounter withan old friendderails a lawyer’slife as he ends upframed formurder andpursued bygovernmentagents. Thriller,starring WillSmith, GeneHackman and JonVoight.●●●●

11.05 Family Guy (R,S).Brian leads aprotest against anew superstore.

11.30 Family Guy (R,S).Stewie resolves tojoin the army.

11.50 Family Guy (R,S).2.05 Uncle (R,S,HD). 2.30Live at the Electric(R,S,HD). 3.00 Bluestone42 (R,S,HD). 3.30Bluestone 42 (R,S,HD).

7.00Wild China(R,HD). Ruinedtrade citiesoutside the GreatWall.

8.00 Pain, Pus &Poison: TheSearch forModernMedicines(R,HD). DrMichael Mosleyexplores themedicinalqualities ofdeadly poisons.Last in the series.

9.00 Salamander(HD).

9.45 Salamander(HD).

10.35 Pink Floyd: WishYou Were Here(R).

11.35 Pink Floyd: ADelicate Soundof Thunder (R).Footage from themusicians’ AMomentary Lapseof Reason tour in1988.

1.10 Top of the Pops:1979 (R). 1.45 Wild China(R,HD). 2.45 Pain, Pus &Poison: The Search forModern Medicines(R,HD).

PHENOMENON1.15pm, Channel 5A mechanic developstelekinetic powers afterobserving a peculiarlight in the sky, but hisnew gifts bringunexpected problems.John Travolta stars.

EASY VIRTUE1pm, BBC2An Englishman in the1920s marries a brashAmerican woman, tothe horror of his upper-class family. Romanticcomedy, with JessicaBiel and Ben Barnes.

ITV2 E4 Sky1 GOLD Sky Sports 1 BBC3 BBC4

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6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 7.25 Match of theDay (R,S,HD). 9.00 The Andrew MarrShow (S,HD). 10.00 The Big Questions(S,HD). 11.00 Sunday Politics (S). 12.15MOTD2 Extra (S,HD). With Mark Chapman.1.00 BBC News (S,HD). 1.15 Bargain Hunt(R,S). 1.45 The Indian Doctor (R,S,HD).2.30 Live Six Nations Rugby Union(S,HD). France v Italy (Kick-off 3.00pm). 5.00Songs of Praise (S,HD). 5.35 BBC News;Regional News and Weather (S,HD).

7.00 Countryfile (S,HD). A trip tothe Lake District. IncludingWeather for the Week Ahead.

6.00 Fake or Fortune? (S,HD). 4/4.Two paintings that could be by18th-century artist ThomasGainsborough. Last in theseries.

8.00 Call the Midwife (S,HD). 4/8.See Choices Above.

9.00 The Musketeers (S,HD). 4/10.See Choices Above.

10.00 BBC News; Regional Newsand Weather (S,HD).

10.25 Match of the Day 2 (S,HD).Mark Chapman reviews theday’s Premier League action,which featured TottenhamHotspur v Everton andManchester United v Fulham.

11.25 Brooklyn’s Finest (S,HD)(2009). Crime thriller, starringRichard Gere.●●●

1.30 Weatherview (S). 1.35 BBC News(S,HD).

1112

6.00 CITV. 9.25 Murder, She Wrote(R,S,HD). 10.20 Dickinson’s Real Deal(R,S,HD). 11.15 ITV News and Weather(S). 11.20 The Unforgettable DudleyMoore (R,S). 11.50 Inside the NationalTrust (S,HD). 12.50 The CrocodileHunter Diaries (R,S). 1.50 Splash!(R,S,HD). 3.20 Film: Thunderball (S,HD)(1965). James Bond spy adventure, starringSean Connery. See Choices Above.●●●5.50 ITV News West Country (S).

6.15 The Hoobs (R,S). 7.05 EverybodyLoves Raymond (R,S). 7.30 Frasier (R,S).8.25 The Taste (R,S,HD). 9.30 SundayBrunch (S). 12.30 The Big Bang Theory(R,S,HD). 1.25 How I Met Your Mother(S,HD). 2.25 The Simpsons (R,S). 3.30Film: Three Men and a Baby (S,HD)(1987). Comedy, starring Tom Selleck, TedDanson and Steve Guttenberg.●●●● 5.30Deal or No Deal (S,HD). Beat-the-bankergame show.

6.00 Milkshake!. 10.00 Power RangersSuper Samurai (R,S,HD). 10.35 PowerRangers Megaforce (R,S,HD). 11.10 TheHotel Inspector (R,S,HD). 12.05 Ice RoadTruckers (R,S). 1.05 Ben Fogle: New Livesin the Wild (R,S,HD). 2.05 PoliceInterceptors (R,S,HD). 3.10 Film: DaddyDay Camp (S) (2007). Comedy sequel,starring Cuba Gooding Jr.● 4.50 Film:Land of the Lost (S,HD) (2009). Comedyadventure, starring Will Ferrell.●●

7.45 All Star Family Fortunes(S,HD). 7/10. With Olympicrowing hero Steve Redgraveand Emmerdale’s NatalieAnderson.

6.00 ITV News and Weather (S).6.15 Dancing on Ice (S,HD). 6/10.

The seven remaining starsperform to songs from 1984.

6.30 Channel 4 News (S). 6.45 Planet of the Apes (S,HD)(2001). Sci-fi adventure remake,starring Mark Wahlberg.●●●

10.00 ITV News at Ten (S); Weather.10.15 Birds of a Feather (R,S,HD).

6/8. Sharon’s estrangedhusband asks for a divorce.

10.45 Piers Morgan’s Life Stories:Tony Blackburn (R,S,HD). 6/7.The veteran DJ looks back onhis life and career, including hiskey role in the launch of Radio1 in 1967.

12.40 The Store (R). Home shopping. 2.40The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (R,S). Thehost takes his successful talk show stateside.3.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (R,S).The host takes his successful talk showstateside. 4.05 ITV Nightscreen (HD). Text-based information service. 5.05 TheJeremy Kyle Show (R,S,HD). Guests airtheir differences.

7.00 Jamie and Jimmy’s FridayNight Feast (R,S,HD). 5/6.Jamie Oliver creates a Sundayroast and curry fusion.

8.00 Scandimania (S,HD). 2/3. SeeChoices Above.

9.00 Babylon (S,HD). See ChoicesAbove.

10.35 The Bank Job (S) (2008). ALondon bank robberaccidentally steals top-secretfiles which the government andsecurity services want buried.Fact-based thriller, starringJason Statham and SaffronBurrows.●●●

12.40 Film: Tigerland (S,HD) (2000).VietnamWar drama, starring Colin Farrell.See Choices Above. ●●● 2.20 Boss (S,HD).New series. 3.20 Abductees (R,S). 3.30Eating for Two (R,S). 3.35 Location,Location, Location (R,S,HD). 4.35Supernanny US (R,S). 5.15 River CottageBites (R,S,HD). 5.30 Deal or No Deal(R,S,HD).

8.55 5 News Weekend (S,HD).

9.00 The Expendables (S,HD)(2010). A mercenary team isdouble-crossed while on amission to kill a South Americandictator. Action thriller, directedby and starring SylvesterStallone. With Jason Stathamand Jet Li.●●●

10.55 Full Metal Jacket (S,HD)(1987). Raw recruits undergoharsh training under adomineering Marine drillsergeant before their first clashwith enemy forces. VietnamWar drama, with MatthewModine and Adam Baldwin.●●●●●

1.15 SuperCasino. Live interactivegaming. 3.10 Ultimate EmergencyBikers (R,S,HD). 4.00 Wildlife SOS (R,S).4.20 Make It Big (R,S). 4.45 The FunkyValley Show (R,S). 5.00 Angels of Jarm(R,S). 5.05 Hana’s Helpline (R,S). 5.20Angels of Jarm (R,S). 5.25 The FunkyValley Show (R,S). 5.40 Hana’s Helpline(R,S). 5.50 Hana’s Helpline (R,S).

6.00 Live Winter Olympics (S,HD).Coverage of the opening session on day twoof the Games. 11.00 Saturday KitchenBest Bites (S). Highlights of the series.12.30 Film: The Gumball Rally (S) (1976).Car-race comedy, starring Michael Sarrazin.●●● 2.10 Live Winter Olympics (S,HD).Further coverage of the second day fromRussia. 4.30 Live Winter Olympics (S,HD).Concluding coverage from the second dayof the Games in Russia.

7.10 Winter Olympics: Today atthe Games (S,HD). ClareBalding introduces highlightsfrom day two in Russia.

8.00 Top Gear (S,HD). 2/7. SeeChoices Above.

9.00 Dragons’ Den (S,HD). 9/12. Acouple pitch their glamorouscamping business, a mother-of-four from Shropshire has a newtake on the coffee bag, andone entrepreneur attempts tograffiti the Den.

10.00 Alan Davies Apres-Ski(R,S,HD). 1/3. A comic look atthe news and action from theWinter Olympics.

10.30 QI XL (R,S,HD). 2/16. With JoBrand, Liza Tarbuck and SuePerkins.

11.15 Royal Cousins at War(R,S,HD). 1/2. Part one of two.The role of Europe’s royalfamilies in the outbreak of theFirst World War.

11.45 Premiership Rugby Union(S,HD). Action from the 13thround of top-flight fixtures.

12.15 Sign Zone: Countryfile (R,S). 1.10Sign Zone: Holby City (R,S). Arthur andDominic’s rivalry reaches new heights. 2.10Sign Zone: The Search for Alfred theGreat (R,S). 3.10 This Is BBC Two (S).Preview of upcoming programmes. 5.00Live Winter Olympics (S,HD). Coveragefrom day three of the Games in Russia.

after

76

Sunday’s Television Guide

8.30 Dancing on Ice: The SkateOff (S,HD). 6/9. Another starskater is eliminated.

9.00 Mr Selfridge (S,HD). 4/10. SeeChoices Above.

Countryfile, 7pm Alan Davies Apres-Ski, 10pm Mr Selfridge, 9pm Scandimania, 8pm Planet of the Apes, 6.45pm

CALL THE MIDWIFE8pm, BBC1Jenny has an eventful few days, starting with apatient who as well as having herself to worryabout, is also struggling to cope with hermother, an agoraphobic who hasn’t beenoutside for at least 12 years. On top of that,Alec asks the midwife to accompany him toBrighton for the weekend.

TOP GEAR8pm, BBC2Richard Hammond getsbehind the wheel of theAlfa Romeo 4C, JeremyClarkson puts the McLarenP1 hypercar to the test andThor star Tom Hiddlestondrives the Reasonably Priced Car.

MR SELFRIDGE9pm, ITVWith news of the first horrors of war inBelgium, the men of Selfridges clamour tosign up, while Rose, Delphine and Lady Maeorganise a special chocolate sale to aidrefugees – which goes down a treat in thestore and proves inspirational for MissMardle.

6.00 Beauty and the Geek (R).6.45 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 9.40Coronation Street (R,S,HD).12.00 Take Me Out (R,S,HD). 1.10You’ve Been Framed andFamous! (R,S). 2.10 You’ve BeenFramed! (R,S). 2.40 Film: TheFlintstones in Viva Rock Vegas(S,HD) (2000).●●● 4.25 Film:Garfield: A Tale of Two Kitties(S,HD) (2006).●●●

10.00 Bridget Jones’s Diary(S,HD) (2001). A womanbegins a new year byresolving to find loveand give up her badhabits. Romanticcomedy based on HelenFielding’s novel, withRenee Zellweger, HughGrant and Colin Firth.Including FYI Daily.●●●●

12.00 The Big Reunion 2014(R,S,HD). With pop groups Eternal,A1, Damage, Girl Thing, 3T and 5thStory. 1.00 Mom (R,S,HD). 1.25Dads (R,S,HD). 1.50 You’ve BeenFramed! (R,S). Camcordercalamities, with Harry Hill. 2.40Teleshopping. Home shopping.5.40 ITV2 Nightscreen (HD).

BABYLON9pm, Channel 4Police comedy drama,directed by Danny Boyle.Violence erupts acrossLondon as the Met chief triesto revamp the force’s publicimage. Starring JamesNesbitt, Brit Marling and Jill Halfpenny.

BBC1

THE MUSKETEERS9pm, BBC1Aramis’s loyalty tothe Musketeerregiment is testedwhen he agrees tohelp an old frienduncover the truthbehind a disastrous mission.


TVPICK

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69

6.00 Beauty and the Geek (R).6.45 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 9.40Coronation Street (R,S,HD).12.00 Take Me Out (R,S,HD). 1.10You’ve Been Framed andFamous! (R,S). 2.10 You’ve BeenFramed! (R,S). 2.40 Film: TheFlintstones in Viva Rock Vegas(S,HD) (2000).●●● 4.25 Film:Garfield: A Tale of Two Kitties(S,HD) (2006).●●●

6.00 Rumor Has It (S,HD)(2005). Romanticcomedy, starringJennifer Aniston andKevin Costner.●●

8.00 Best of You’ve BeenFramed! (R,S). HarryHill narrates classic clipsfrom the archives.

10.00 Bridget Jones’s Diary(S,HD) (2001). A womanbegins a new year byresolving to find loveand give up her badhabits. Romanticcomedy based on HelenFielding’s novel, withRenee Zellweger, HughGrant and Colin Firth.Including FYI Daily.●●●●

12.00 The Big Reunion 2014(R,S,HD). With pop groups Eternal,A1, Damage, Girl Thing, 3T and 5thStory. 1.00 Mom (R,S,HD). 1.25Dads (R,S,HD). 1.50 You’ve BeenFramed! (R,S). Camcordercalamities, with Harry Hill. 2.40Teleshopping. Home shopping.5.40 ITV2 Nightscreen (HD).

9.00 The MagalufWeekender (S,HD). 6/6.A trio of lads fromManchester and threeNewport girls check intothe Lively Hotel, and repJordan is thrilled tofinally welcome someWelsh guests to Magaluf.Last in the series.

6.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine(R,S,HD). 4/22.

6.30 The Big Bang Theory(R,S,HD). 2/24.

6.00 Make It or Break It (R,S,HD).6.45 Ugly Betty (R,S,HD). 7.30Charmed (R,S). 8.20 The MindyProject (R,S,HD). 8.55 How I MetYour Mother (R,S,HD). 9.55Hollyoaks (R,S,HD). 12.30 Revenge(R,S,HD). 1.30 Rules of Engagement(R,S,HD). 2.30 How I Met YourMother (R,S,HD). 3.00 The Big BangTheory (R,S,HD). 4.00 Marvel’sAgents of SHIELD (R,S,HD). 5.00 TheTomorrow People (R,S,HD).

7.00 The Big Bang Theory(R,S,HD). 12/24. Sheldonis encouraged to feigninterest in Amy’s career.


8.00 Percy Jackson & theLightning Thief (S,HD)(2010). A teenagerlearns he is the son of aGreek god and findshimself in the middle ofa feud betweenimmortals. Fantasy

10.25 The Running Man(S,HD) (1987). A convicttakes part in a brutal TVgame show in which heis hunted by a series ofgadget-wielding killers.Sci-fi action adventure,with ArnoldSchwarzenegger andRichard Dawson.●●●

12.25 My Mad Fat Diary (R,S,HD).1.30 Rules of Engagement(R,S,HD). 2.00 Rules ofEngagement (R,S,HD). 2.30 TheCleveland Show (R,S,HD). 2.50The Cleveland Show (R,S,HD).3.15 The Cleveland Show(R,S,HD). 3.35 Hollyoaks (R,S,HD).Omnibus.

adventure, with LoganLerman and PierceBrosnan.●●●

6.00 Jordan & Perri’sUltimate Block Party(R,S). 5/8.


6.00 Hour of Power. 7.00 Glee(R,S,HD). 9.00 Modern Family(R,S,HD). 9.30 Jordan & Perri’sUltimate Block Party (R,S,HD).10.00 WWE Superstars (R). 11.00WWE: Experience. 12.00 Sinbad(R,S,HD). 1.00 Futurama (R,S).2.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD).4.30 The Simpsons (R,S). 5.00Ashley Banjo’s Big Town Dance(R,S,HD).

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S,HD).16/22. Homer suffers about of incontinence.

7.30 Duck Quacks Don’tEcho (S,HD). 1/8.Comedy panel game.

8.00 The Simpsons (R,S,HD).20/22. Homer receivesmarital advice from amovie star.

8.30 The Simpsons (R,S,HD).17/22. Homer enrols on afathering enrichmentcourse.

10.00 NCIS: Los Angeles(S,HD). 4/24. The agentsfind themselves indanger whileinvestigating thekidnapping of a manclaiming to be Callen’sfather. Chris O’Donnelland Eric Christian Olsenstar.

12.15 Flintoff: From Lord’s tothe Ring (R,S,HD). 1.15 Flintoff:From Lord’s to the Ring (R,S,HD).2.10 Brit Cops: Rapid Response(R,S). 3.05 Brit Cops: RapidResponse (R,S). 4.00 Crash TestDummies (R,S,HD). 5.00 CrashTest Dummies (R,S,HD).

11.00 Banshee (R,S). 10/10.Hood offers himself toMr Rabbit in exchangefor Max’s safe return.Last in the series.

9.00 Hawaii Five-0 (S). 4/24.The cops attend a high-society wedding whereone of the guests hasbeen murdered, andwhen the bride goesmissing, she becomesprime suspect. RebeccaDe Mornay guest stars.

6.20 Harry Hill’s TV Burp.13/13.

6.50 Harry Hill’s TV Burp.13/13. Comic view ofsmall-screen highlights.

6.00 Keeping Up Appearances(S). 8.15 Jeeves and Wooster (S).9.30 One Foot in the Grave (S).12.10 The Black Adder (S).Edmund meets an eligibleprincess. 1.00 Only Fools andHorses (S). Christmas specialfrom 2002. The Trotters go toFrance. 2.40 Keeping UpAppearances (S). 5.20 HarryHill’s TV Burp.

7.20 Only Fools and Horses(S). Christmas specialfrom 2002.

10.20 Knowing Me,Knowing You – WithAlan Partridge (S). 2/6.Minnie Driver gueststars.

11.00 Yes Minister (S). 7/7. SirHumphrey is beingevasive.

11.40 Yes Minister (S). 1/7.Hacker sees a chance tofurther his career.

12.20 I’m Alan Partridge (S). Alaninsults Norfolk’s farmers. 1.00 I’mAlan Partridge (S). Alan seeksexcitement. 1.30 Knowing Me,Knowing You – With AlanPartridge (S). Minnie Driver gueststars. 2.00 Yes Minister (S). SirHumphrey is being evasive. 2.30Yes Minister (S). 3.00 Close

9.00 I’m Alan Partridge (S).3/6. Alan insults Norfolk’sfarmers.

9.40 I’m Alan Partridge (S).4/6. Alan seeksexcitement.

6.30 Live Spanish Football(HD). Real Sociedad vLevante.

6.00 FL72 Highlights (HD). 6.30SNF – Match Choice (HD). 8.00Game Changers (HD). 9.00 TheSunday Supplement (HD). 10.30Goals on Sunday (HD). A review ofyesterday’s football action. 12.30Live Super Sunday (HD).Tottenham Hotspur v Everton (Kick-off 1.30pm). 3.30 Live SuperSunday (HD). Manchester United vFulham (Kick-off 4.00pm).

11.30 Scottish Cup Football(HD). Dundee United v StMirren.

12.30 Spanish Football (HD).Sevilla v Barcelona. 1.30 FootballSpecial (HD). Tottenham Hotspur vEverton and Manchester United vFulham. 3.00 Spanish Football(HD). Sevilla v Barcelona. 4.00Scottish Cup Football (HD).Dundee United v St Mirren. 5.00Spanish Football (HD).

10.00 Football Special (HD).Tottenham Hotspur vEverton and ManchesterUnited v Fulham.Highlights of the PremierLeague matches atWhite Hart Lane and OldTrafford respectively.

Bridget Jones’s Diary, 10pm The Running Man, 10.25pm NCIS: Los Angeles, 10pm I’m Alan Partridge, 9pm Live Super Sunday, 12.30pm

BABYLON9pm, Channel 4Police comedy drama,directed by Danny Boyle.Violence erupts acrossLondon as the Met chief triesto revamp the force’s publicimage. Starring JamesNesbitt, Brit Marling and Jill Halfpenny.

SCANDIMANIA8pm, Channel 4Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall arrives inDenmark as his Scandinavian adventurecontinues. In Copenhagen, he cooks withRene Redzepi, owner of the award-winningrestaurant Noma, before meeting actor SorenMalling, star of The Killing and Borgen, andarchitect Bjarke Ingels.

8.00 Live Spanish Football(HD). Sevilla v Barcelona(Kick-off 8.00pm).Coverage of the La Ligamatch at the EstadioRamon Sanchez Pizjuan.

7.00 Great MovieMistakes (R,S).

7.05 Pop’s GreatestDance Crazes(R,S).

7.35 The Voice UK(R,S,HD). Thepenultimateweek of blindauditions.

9.00 RussellHoward’s GoodNews (R,S,HD).

9.30 RussellHoward’s GoodNews (R,S,HD).

10.00 Family Guy(R,S,HD).


10.45 Uncle (R,S,HD).11.15 American Dad!

(R,S,HD).11.40 American Dad!

(R,S,HD).12.00 Ja’mie: PrivateSchool Girl (R,S,HD).12.30 Bad Education(R,S,HD). 1.00 RussellHoward’s Good News(R,S,HD). 1.30 RussellHoward’s Good News(R,S,HD). 2.00 Uncle(R,S,HD). 2.30 Bluestone42 (R,S,HD). 3.00Bluestone 42 (R,S,HD).3.30 Bluestone 42(R,S,HD).

7.00 Francesco’s ItalyTop to Toe (R).Francesco daMosto exploresFlorence withMaggie Smith.

8.00 Wainwright:The Man WhoLoved the Lakes(R). Profile of fell-walker AlfredWainwright.

9.00 SpaceShuttle: TheFinal Mission(R,HD).

10.00 The Sky at Night(HD).

10.30 Tomboy (HD)(2011). Premiere.Drama, starringZoe Heran.●●●●

11.50 Arena: TheEverly Brothers– Songs ofInnocence andExperience (R).A classicdocumentary onthe Americanmusicians from1984.

1.25 Arena: EverlyBrothers ReunionConcert (R,HD). 2.45Francesco’s Italy Top toToe (R).

TIGERLAND12.40am, Channel 4US Army recruitsundergo gruellingtraining for theVietnam War, but onesoldier threatens todestabilise the unity ofthe platoon.

THUNDERBALL3.20pm, ITVJames Bond sets out tofoil a plot by crimesyndicate Spectre todetonate two nuclearwarheads off the UScoast. Spy adventure,with Sean Connery.


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6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 9.15 WantedDown Under Revisited (S,HD). 10.00Homes Under the Hammer (R,S,HD).11.00 Bargain Hunt (S). 12.00 Live WinterOlympics (S,HD). 1.00 BBC News;Weather (S,HD). 1.30 Regional News (S);Weather. 1.45 Doctors (S,HD). 2.15 WPC56 (S,HD). 3.00 Perfection (R,S,HD). 3.45Escape to the Country (R,S,HD). 4.30 PutYour Money Where Your Mouth Is(S,HD). 5.15 Pointless (R,S,HD).

7.00 The One Show (S,HD). Hostedby Alex Jones and Matt Baker.

7.30 Regional Programme (S,HD).Followed by BBC News;Regional News.

6.00 BBC News (S,HD); Weather.6.30 Regional News (S); Weather.

8.00 EastEnders (S,HD). Katpersuades Alfie to help searchfor Stacey.

8.30 Immigration Undercover:The Student Visa Scandal –Panorama (S,HD). Immigrantsworking illegally in the UKwhile posing as students.

9.00 Britain’s Great War (S,HD).3/4. See Choices Above.

10.00 BBC News (S,HD).10.25 Regional News (S); Weather.10.35 Have I Got Old News for You

(R,S,HD). 4/9. With RayWinstone and Reginald DHunter.

11.20 Regional Programme (S).

12.00 The Graham Norton Show(R,S,HD). With Gary Oldman and Nick Frost.12.45 Weatherview (S). 12.50 BBC News(S,HD).

11

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6.00 Daybreak (S,HD). 8.30 Lorraine (S).9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show (S,HD). 10.30This Morning (S). 12.30 Loose Women(S,HD). Celebrity interviews and topicalstudio discussion. 1.30 ITV News andWeather (S). 1.55 ITV News WestCountry (S). 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal(S,HD). 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show(S,HD). 3.59 Regional Programme (S).4.00 Britain’s Best Bakery (S,HD). 5.00The Chase (S,HD).

6.25 Countdown (R,S,HD). 7.10 Will &Grace (R,S). 8.00 Everybody LovesRaymond (R,S). 9.00 Frasier (R,S). 10.00Undercover Boss Canada (S). 11.00 SarahBeeny’s Selling Houses (R,S,HD). 12.00Channel 4 News Midday Summary (S).12.05 Jamie’s 15 Minute Meals (R,S,HD).12.35 Come Dine with Me Down Under(R,S). 3.10 Countdown (S,HD). 4.00 Deal orNo Deal: Love HQ (S,HD). 5.00 Come Dinewith Me (S,HD). 5.30 Coach Trip (S,HD).

6.00 Milkshake!. 9.15 The Wright Stuff(HD). 11.10 The Hotel Inspector (R,S,HD).12.10 5 News Lunchtime (S,HD). 12.15Winter Road Rescue (R,S,HD). Snow, iceand freezing fog bring chaos to the roads.Last in the series. 1.15 Home and Away(S,HD). 1.45 Neighbours (S,HD). 2.15 NCIS(R,S,HD). 3.15 Film: Do You KnowMe(S,HD) (2008). See Choices Above.●● 5.00 5News at 5 (S,HD). 5.30 Neighbours(R,S,HD).

7.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). Moiraproposes to Cain.

7.30 Coronation Street (S,HD). SeeChoices Above.

6.00 Regional News (S); Weather.6.30 ITV News and Weather (S).

6.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 8/20.6.30 Hollyoaks (S,HD). A moment

of weakness causes Cindy toreveal her secret.

6.00 Home and Away (R,S,HD). Sidtells Sasha she cannot stay inthe Bay alone.

6.30 NewsTalk Live (S,HD).

10.00 ITV News at Ten (S).10.30 ITV News West Country (S);

Weather.10.35 The Agenda (S,HD). 1/10. New

series. With Chancellor GeorgeOsborne.

12.05 Jackpot247. Interactive gaming.3.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (R,S).The host takes his successful talk showstateside. 3.45 ITV Nightscreen (HD). Text-based information service. 5.05 TheJeremy Kyle Show (R,S,HD). Guests airtheir differences.


8.00 Benefits Britain: TheBedroom Tax – Channel 4Dispatches (S). Seyi Rhodesmeets families affected by theso-called bedroom tax.

8.30 Food Unwrapped (S,HD). 3/5.Red wine, venison andskimmed milk.

9.00 Benefits Street (S). 5/5. Thefinal visit to James Turner Street,in the Winson Green district ofBirmingham, following thechallenges its residents face,such as poverty and illiteracy.Last in the series. A specialprogramme discussing issuesraised in the series follows.

10.00 Benefits Britain: The Debate(S). See Choices Above.

12.00 Random Acts (S,HD). 12.05 One BornEvery Minute (R,S,HD). 1.00 Scandal(R,S,HD). 1.45 Hostages (R,S,HD). 2.35World Without End (R,S,HD). 3.25 Akbar’sCheetah (R,S). 3.30 Location, Location,Location (R,S,HD). 4.25 Kirstie’s HandmadeTreasures (R,S,HD). 4.30 Supernanny US(R,S). 5.15 River Cottage Bites (S,HD). 5.30Deal or No Deal: Love HQ (R,S,HD).

7.00World’s Scariest Stunts:Caught on Camera (R,S).Thrill-seekers who cheat death.Followed by 5 News Update.

8.00 Police Interceptors (S,HD). SgtCarlin arrests some van thievesand uncovers a major criminaloperation in the process.Elsewhere, an officer rides tothe rescue of a lorry load ofcalves on the A46. Followed by5 News at 9.

9.00 Jim Davidson: At Least I’mNot Boring (S,HD). Thecomedian and Celebrity BigBrother winner gives an insightinto the highs and lows of hiscolourful personal andprofessional life.

11.00 Death Race (S,HD) (2008). SeeChoices Above.●●●

10.00 Helix (S,HD). 5/13. Alan findsout that he might have beentrusting the wrong person as hesets out to find the White Roomand discover what it holds. Sci-fithriller, starring Billy Campbell.

1.00 SuperCasino. Live interactivegaming. 3.05 She’s 78, He’s 39: Age GapLove (R,S,HD). Six people with muchyounger partners. 3.55 House Doctor(R,S). A cluttered property in the Cotswolds.4.20 House Doctor (R,S). 4.45 DivineDesigns (R,S). 5.10 Nick’s Quest (R,S).5.35 Nick’s Quest (R,S).

5.00 Live Winter Olympics (S,HD).Coverage from day three of the Games inRussia. 12.00 Daily Politics (S).Parliamentary report. 1.00 Live WinterOlympics (S,HD). Further coverage of daythree from Russia. 4.10 Live WinterOlympics (S,HD). Clare Balding presentscoverage of the concluding events on daythree in Russia, featuring curling, speedskating, biathlon, luge and freestyle skiing.Subsequent programmes subject to change.

7.00Winter Olympics: Today atthe Games (S,HD). ClareBalding introduces highlightsfrom day three in Russia, wherefive gold medals were decided.

8.00 University Challenge (S,HD).29/37. The quarter-finalmatches continue.

8.30 Food & Drink (S,HD). 3/10.Including a debate on thefuture of family dining.

9.00 Horizon: Man on Mars –Mission to the Red Planet(S,HD). Behind the scenes atNasa to discover how the spaceagency is preparing for its mostambitious and daring mission –to land a manned craft on thesurface of Mars.

10.00 The Culture Show: Lego –The Building Blocks ofArchitecture (S,HD). SeeChoices Above.

10.30 Newsnight (S,HD). Followedby Weather.

11.20 Royal Cousins at War(R,S,HD). 2/2. Part two of two.The story of how Europe’s royalfamilies ended up on oppositesides during the First WorldWar.

11.05 The Mighty Mississippi withTrevor McDonald (R,S). 1/3.The broadcaster embarks on ajourney through the heart ofAmerica.

11.00 Payday (S,HD). The lives offour twentysomethings overone summer in south London.

12.20 Letters of Service (S). 12.35 SignZone: Film 2014 (R,S). 1.05 Sign Zone:Inspire: The Olympic Journey (R,S). 1.35Sign Zone: Russia on Four Wheels (R,S).2.35 This Is BBC Two (S). 4.00 BBCLearning Zone (S).

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8.00 A Great Welsh Adventurewith Griff Rhys Jones (S,HD).6/8. The funnyman searches fora Welsh dresser in Conwy.

8.30 Coronation Street (S,HD).Tina is hopeful Peter will turnup at her leaving do.

9.00 DCI Banks (S,HD). 2/6. SeeChoices Above.

The One Show, 7pm Winter Olympics, 7pm A Great Welsh Adventure … 8pm Food Unwrapped, 8.30pm Helix, 10pm

CORONATION STREET7.30pm, ITVAnna and Fiz get a shock when they try tocontact Roy at his Auntie Jean’s to tell himabout a leak in the cafe. Rob and Tracy argueover Tina, who announces she is leaving theStreet, while a jealous Dennis hatches a schemeafter Eva suggests Gloria fancies Ritchie.Michelle and Steve make up.

THE CULTURE SHOW:LEGO – THE BUILDINGBLOCKS OFARCHITECTURE10pm, BBC2Tom Dyckhoff explores thetoy’s relationship witharchitecture, meeting artistsand architects who played with it as children.

BENEFITS BRITAIN: THE DEBATE10pm, Channel 4Benefits Street has sparked a nationalconversation about Britain’s welfare system,generating questions in Parliament, nationalheadlines and social media reaction. Thisdiscussion, chaired by Richard Bacon, focuseson the socio-economic issues brought to thefore by the documentary series.

6.00 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 6.25Coronation Street (R,S,HD). 7.25 You’veBeen Framed! (R,S). 7.45 The JeremyKyle Show USA (R,S). 8.30 Dinner Date(R,S). 9.30 The Real Housewives ofAtlanta (R,S,HD). 10.30 The RealHousewives of New Jersey (R,S,HD).11.30 Millionaire Matchmaker (R,S,HD).12.30 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 1.00Coronation Street (R,S,HD). 2.00 TheJeremy Kyle Show (R,S,HD). 4.10 TheReal Housewives of New Jersey (S,HD).5.05 Millionaire Matchmaker (R,S,HD).

10.00 The Job Lot (R,S,HD).4/6. Trish prepares for aninspection.

10.30 Plebs (R,S,HD). 4/6.Marcus befriends a straycat.

11.00 Fake Reaction(R,S,HD). 6/10.

11.50 Two and a Half Men(R,S,HD). 9/24. Anelderly woman falls forAlan.

12.20 Two and a Half Men(R,S,HD). 12.45 Take Me Out(R,S,HD). A disco-dancing bachelor,a stockbroker, a nanny and astudent take part. 1.45 TheJeremy Kyle Show USA (R,S).2.25 Teleshopping. Homeshopping. 5.55 ITV2 Nightscreen(HD).

DCI BANKS9pm, ITVPart two of two. The bodyfound on the moors isidentified as 11-year-oldAndre Petri, and with KyleHeath still missing, Banks andthe team search for a linkbetween the two boys.

BBC1

BRITAIN’S GREATWAR9pm, BBC1Jeremy reveals howBritain edged closer todefeat in the worstconflict it had everknown, with Germany’sattempt to starve the country into submission.


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6.00 Milkshake!. 9.15 The Wright Stuff(HD). 11.10 The Hotel Inspector (R,S,HD).12.10 5 News Lunchtime (S,HD). 12.15Winter Road Rescue (R,S,HD). Snow, iceand freezing fog bring chaos to the roads.Last in the series. 1.15 Home and Away(S,HD). 1.45 Neighbours (S,HD). 2.15 NCIS(R,S,HD). 3.15 Film: Do You KnowMe(S,HD) (2008). See Choices Above.●● 5.00 5News at 5 (S,HD). 5.30 Neighbours(R,S,HD).

8.00 Police Interceptors (S,HD). SgtCarlin arrests some van thievesand uncovers a major criminaloperation in the process.Elsewhere, an officer rides tothe rescue of a lorry load ofcalves on the A46. Followed by5 News at 9.

9.00 Jim Davidson: At Least I’mNot Boring (S,HD). Thecomedian and Celebrity BigBrother winner gives an insightinto the highs and lows of hiscolourful personal andprofessional life.

10.00 Helix (S,HD). 5/13. Alan findsout that he might have beentrusting the wrong person as hesets out to find the White Roomand discover what it holds. Sci-fithriller, starring Billy Campbell.

1.00 SuperCasino. Live interactivegaming. 3.05 She’s 78, He’s 39: Age GapLove (R,S,HD). Six people with muchyounger partners. 3.55 House Doctor(R,S). A cluttered property in the Cotswolds.4.20 House Doctor (R,S). 4.45 DivineDesigns (R,S). 5.10 Nick’s Quest (R,S).5.35 Nick’s Quest (R,S).


7.00 You’ve Been Framed!(R,S). 2/28. Including atreadmill spill and adancing horse.

7.30 You’ve Been Framed!(R,S). 3/28.

6.00 Dinner Date (R,S). 5/30.A Bristol woman hasthree blind dates.


8.30 Two and a Half Men(R,S,HD). 10/24. Alanbegins to see himself ina new light.

10.00 The Job Lot (R,S,HD).4/6. Trish prepares for aninspection.

10.30 Plebs (R,S,HD). 4/6.Marcus befriends a straycat.

11.00 Fake Reaction(R,S,HD). 6/10.


12.20 Two and a Half Men(R,S,HD). 12.45 Take Me Out(R,S,HD). A disco-dancing bachelor,a stockbroker, a nanny and astudent take part. 1.45 TheJeremy Kyle Show USA (R,S).2.25 Teleshopping. Homeshopping. 5.55 ITV2 Nightscreen(HD).

9.00Mom (S,HD). 5/22.Christy befriends atroubled woman.

9.30 Dads (S,HD). 3/19. Elirealises he should treathis maid better.



6.00 Switched (R,S). 6.25 90210(R,S,HD). 7.10 Ugly Betty (R,S,HD). 8.00Charmed (R,S). 9.00 Glee (R,S,HD).10.00 New Girl (R,S,HD). 10.30 TheMindy Project (R,S,HD). 11.00Charmed (R,S). 12.00 Rules ofEngagement (R,S,HD). 12.30 Hollyoaks(R,S,HD). 1.00 How I Met Your Mother(R,S,HD). 2.00 The Big Bang Theory(R,S,HD). 3.00 New Girl (R,S,HD). 3.30The Mindy Project (R,S,HD). 4.00 Rulesof Engagement (R,S,HD). 5.00 How IMet Your Mother (R,S,HD).

7.00 Hollyoaks (S,HD).Cindy’s distress causesher to go into labour.

7.30 How I Met YourMother (R,S,HD). 2/22.Ted throws a party.

8.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine(R,S,HD). 4/22.

8.30 2 Broke Girls (R,S,HD).1/24. The business isboosted by a rumourinvolving a rock star.

10.00 David Blaine: Real orMagic (R,S,HD). Theillusionist performsmind-boggling tricks fora host of celebrities,including Katy Perry,Will Smith, Kanye West,Jamie Foxx, RickyGervais and StephenHawking.

12.30 How I Met Your Mother(R,S,HD). 12.55 Revenge (R,S,HD).1.55 David Blaine: Real or Magic(R,S,HD). 3.05 The Ricky GervaisShow (R,S,HD). 3.30 TheCleveland Show (R,S,HD). 3.50Glee (R,S,HD). 4.35 Ugly Betty(R,S,HD). An unconscious Bettydreams of a life without braces.

9.00 Revenge (S,HD). 6/22.Emily faces unexpectedobstacles when Conradannounces he has soldthe house, but Daniel’sattention is drawnelsewhere.

6.00Modern Family(R,S,HD). 4/24.

6.30 The Simpsons (R,S).11/22. Marge is arrested.

6.00 Inside Gatwick (R,S,HD).7.00 Last Man Standing (R,S,HD).8.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD).9.00 Futurama (R,S). 10.00 NCIS:Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 2.00 HawaiiFive-0 (R,S,HD). Danny has issueswith his ex-wife. 3.00 Last ManStanding (S,HD). 4.00 Futurama(R,S). 5.00 The Simpsons (R,S).Homer becomes a celebrity. 5.30Modern Family (R,S,HD).

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S,HD).13/22.

7.30 The Simpsons (R,S).1/24. Mr Burns brandsHomer insane.


8.30Modern Family(R,S,HD). 10/24. Claireand Phil threaten tocancel their festivecelebrations.

10.00 An Idiot Abroad 2(R,S,HD). 3/8. See ChoicesAbove.

12.00 A League of Their Own:Unseen (R,S,HD). Out-takes fromthe sports-based comedy quiz. 1.00Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 2.00 BritCops: Law & Disorder (R,S). 3.00Road Wars (R,S). 4.00 InsideGatwick (R,S,HD). 5.00 AirlineUSA (R,S,HD). 5.30 Airline USA(R,S,HD).

11.00 A League of TheirOwn (R,S,HD). 1/11.With Jack Whitehall,Steven Gerrard, JohnBishop and GeorgieThompson.

9.00 Stella (R,S,HD). 3/10.Things improve betweenStella and Michael whenshe has to treat him for abloody nose, Emma iskeen to celebrate herdivorce and Luke justneeds a break.

6.20 Last of the SummerWine (S). 5/11. Compo isstunned by the sight ofNora Batty’s newlegwear.

6.15 Ever Decreasing Circles (S). 6.45Harry Hill’s TV Burp. 7.10 ’Allo ’Allo! (S).7.50 As Time Goes By (S). 8.30 GoodnightSweetheart. 9.10 Keeping UpAppearances (S). 9.50 2point4 Children(S). 10.30 Last of the Summer Wine (S).11.50 Ever Decreasing Circles (S). 12.30dinnerladies (S). 1.10 The Green GreenGrass (S). 2.30 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. 3.00’Allo ’Allo! (S). 3.40 As Time Goes By (S).4.20 Goodnight Sweetheart. 5.00Keeping Up Appearances (S). 5.40 Last ofthe Summer Wine (S).

7.00 Only Fools and Horses(S). 1/6. The first episodeof the comedy.

7.40 Only Fools and Horses(S). 2/6. Del enters thecar trade.

8.20 dinnerladies (S). 1/6.Norman the breadmanfails to deliver.

10.20Miranda (S). 3/6. Pennyurges Miranda toimprove her careerprospects.

11.00 The League ofGentlemen (S). 1/6.Pauline adapts to lifeoutside prison.

11.40 The Smell of Reevesand Mortimer (S). 1/6.

12.20 Miranda (S). A shoppingexpedition ends in disaster. 1.00Miranda (S). The singleton tries tolearn French. 1.30 Miranda (S).Penny urges Miranda to improveher career prospects. 2.00 TheLeague of Gentlemen (S). 2.30The Smell of Reeves andMortimer (S). 3.00 Close

9.00Miranda (S). 1/6. Ashopping expeditionends in disaster.

9.40Miranda (S). 2/6. Thesingleton tries to learnFrench.

6.30 FL72 Review. A round-up of recent matches.

6.00 Good Morning Sports Fans(HD). 9.00 Football Special (HD).10.30 Football. 11.30 ScottishCup Football (HD). 12.30 FootballSpecial (HD). Tottenham Hotspur vEverton and Manchester United vFulham. 2.00 Football. 3.00Scottish Cup Football (HD). 4.00Game Changers (HD). 5.00 TheFantasy Football Club (HD). 5.30Soccer AM: The Best Bits (HD).

7.30 FL72 Live (HD). DerbyCounty v Queens ParkRangers (Kick-off7.45pm). Coverage of theChampionship match atthe iPro Stadium,between two of theleading contenders forpromotion.

11.00 FL72 Review. A round-up of recent matches.

12.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits(HD). Highlights of Saturday’s show.1.00 FL72 Highlights (HD). DerbyCounty v Queens Park Rangers. 2.00The Footballers’ Football Show(HD). 3.00 FL72 Review. 4.00Soccer AM: The Best Bits (HD).5.00 FL72 Highlights (HD).

10.00 The Footballers’Football Show (HD).Dave Jones is joined byguests includingfootballers, managersand club chairmen todiscuss all the majorstories in the week’sfootball news.

Mom, 9pm Revenge, 9pm Stella, 9pm Only Fools and Horses, 7pm FL72 Live, 7.30pm

DCI BANKS9pm, ITVPart two of two. The bodyfound on the moors isidentified as 11-year-oldAndre Petri, and with KyleHeath still missing, Banks andthe team search for a linkbetween the two boys.

AN IDIOT ABROAD 210pm, Sky1Karl Pilkington travels to Australia to swimwith dolphins, but Ricky Gervais and StephenMerchant ensure the trip takes a differentcourse. Karl takes part in a blindfoldedkickboxing contest after a surprise stop inThailand, and encounters hundreds of snakeslater on his journey.


11.55 How I Met YourMother (R,S,HD). 19/22.Barney hijacks Marshall’sbachelor party plans.

7.00 Don’t Tell theBride (R,S). Musicfan Perry is given£12,000 to planhis wedding.

8.00 Extreme BeautyQueens: Secretsof SouthAmerica(R,S,HD). Billie JDPorter exploresSouth Americancultural quirks,beginning inVenezuela.

9.00 Live at theApollo (R,S,HD).

9.30 Live at theApollo (R,S,HD).

10.00 Uncle (S,HD).10.30 EastEnders

(R,S,HD).11.00 Family Guy

(R,S).11.25 Family Guy

(R,S).11.45 American Dad!

(R,S,HD).12.10 American Dad!(R,S,HD). 12.30 Uncle(R,S,HD). 1.00 Live at theApollo (R,S,HD). 1.30 Liveat the Apollo (R,S,HD).2.00 Live at the Electric(R,S,HD). 2.30 Bluestone42 (R,S,HD). 3.00Bluestone 42 (R,S,HD).3.30 Uncle (R,S).

7.00World NewsToday (HD);Weather.

7.30 The Boats ThatBuilt Britain (R).

8.00 Timeshift: TheMen Who Builtthe Liners (R).

9.00 Danny Baker’sRockin’ Decades– The Seventies.

10.00 The Life of Rockwith Brian Pern(HD).

10.30 Danny BakerRocks theSeventies (ABit) (HD).

11.00 K2: The KillerSummit:Storyville(R,HD). The 2008expeditionfeaturing Irishclimber GerMcDonnell.

12.25 Timeshift: The MenWho Built the Liners (R).1.25 The Life of Rockwith Brian Pern (R,HD).1.55 Sounds of the 70s 2:Art House Glam – Get inthe Swing (R). 2.25 DannyBaker Rocks theSeventies (A Bit) (R,HD).2.55 Danny Baker’sRockin’ Decades – TheSeventies (R).

DO YOU KNOW ME3.15pm, Channel 5Premiere. A college graduate has her lifetransformed when she discovers a picture ofa missing child on a milk carton that looksexactly like her. In her quest for answers,she discovers the terrifying truth about herpast and finds her life threatened. Thriller,starring Rachelle Lefevre.

DEATH RACE11pm, Channel 5A crooked wardencoerces a falselyimprisoned convict intotaking part in a deadlycar race to win hisfreedom. Sci-fi thriller,starring Jason Statham.


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6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 9.15 Wanted DownUnder Revisited (S,HD). 10.00 HomesUnder the Hammer (S,HD). 11.00 BargainHunt (S). 12.00 Live Winter Olympics(S,HD). 1.00 BBC News; Weather (S,HD).1.30 Regional News (S); Weather. 1.45Doctors (S,HD). 2.15 WPC 56 (S,HD). 3.00Perfection (R,S,HD). 3.45 Escape to theCountry (S,HD). 4.30 Put Your MoneyWhere Your Mouth Is (S,HD). 5.15Pointless (R,S,HD).

7.00 The One Show (S,HD). Livechat and topical reports.

7.30 EastEnders (S,HD). Tamwarconfides in Shabnam about themarket’s future. Followed byBBC News; Regional News.


8.00 Holby City (S,HD). 18/52. Jacrisks being late for Emma’schristening to help Elliotoperate on a patient with arare heart condition and Harrybecomes determined to find hisown area of medical specialism.

9.00 Death in Paradise (S,HD). 5/8.See Choices Above.

10.00 BBC News (S,HD).10.25 Regional News (S). Followed

by National Lottery Update.10.35 A Question of Sport (S,HD).

With Leon Osman and ShaunMurphy.

11.05 Film 2014 (S,HD). 4/7. Reviewsof The Monuments Men andCuban Fury.

11.35 The Hoax (S) (2006). SeeChoices Above.●●●●


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6.00 Daybreak (S,HD). 8.30 Lorraine (S).9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show (S,HD). 10.30This Morning (S). 12.30 Loose Women(S,HD). With Kaye Adams, Myleene Klass,Janet Street-Porter and Linda Robson. 1.30ITV News and Weather (S). 1.55 ITV NewsWest Country (S). 2.00 Dickinson’s RealDeal (S,HD). 3.00 The Alan TitchmarshShow (S,HD). 3.59 Regional Programme(S). 4.00 Britain’s Best Bakery (S,HD). 5.00The Chase (S,HD).

6.25 Countdown (R,S,HD). 7.10 Will &Grace (R,S). 8.00 Everybody LovesRaymond (R,S). 9.00 Frasier (R,S). 10.00Undercover Boss Canada (S). 11.00 SarahBeeny’s Selling Houses (R,S,HD). 12.00Channel 4 News Midday Summary (S).12.05 Jamie’s 15 Minute Meals (R,S,HD).12.35 Come Dine with Me Down Under(R,S). 3.10 Countdown (S,HD). 4.00 Deal orNo Deal: Love HQ (S,HD). 5.00 Come Dinewith Me (S,HD). 5.30 Coach Trip (S,HD).

6.00 Milkshake!. 9.15 The Wright Stuff(HD). 11.10 The Hotel Inspector (R,S,HD).12.10 5 News Lunchtime (S,HD). 12.15Ultimate Emergency Bikers (R,S,HD). Avan crashes into railings outsideBirmingham’s Moor Street station. 1.15Home and Away (S,HD). 1.45 Neighbours(S,HD). 2.15 NCIS (R,S). 3.15 Film: Murder101 (S) (2006). Mystery, starring Dick VanDyke.●●● 5.00 5 News at 5 (S,HD). 5.30Neighbours (R,S,HD).

7.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). Cain andMoira share their engagementnews.

7.30 River Monsters (S,HD). 5/7.Part two of two. JeremyWadeheads to Norway.


6.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 9/20.6.30 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Cindy’s

distress causes her to go intolabour.

6.00 Home and Away (R,S,HD).Chaos reigns for April and Dexas their wedding day finallyarrives.



Weather.10.35 David Weir: Sports Life

Stories (S,HD). 2/8. A profile ofthe British Paralympic athletewho won four gold medals atLondon 2012 and has amasseda total of 10 Paralympic medalsin his career so far.

12.05 Jackpot247. Interactive gaming.3.00 Loose Women (R,HD). With KayeAdams, Myleene Klass, Janet Street-Porterand Linda Robson. 3.45 ITV Nightscreen(HD). Text-based information service. 5.05The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S,HD). Guestsair their differences.


8.00 Location, Location, Location(S,HD). 5/6. Phil Spencer andKirstie Allsopp revisit a couplewho wanted a home in theHerefordshire countryside andtwo sports lovers who wereseeking a property to suit theirneeds in Derby.

9.00 The Taste (S,HD). 6/10.See Choices Above.

10.00 Secrets of the Pickpockets(R,S,HD). 1/2. Documentaryinvestigating criminal gangstargeting British tourists inSpain, from stealing the bags ofdistracted couples on the beachto carjackings on the coastalhighways.

12.00 Random Acts (S). 12.05 Poker (S).Action from the Pokerstars.com EuropeanPoker Tour Barcelona. 1.05 KOTV BoxingWeekly (S). 1.35 Trans World Sport (R,S).2.30 Terror in the Skies (R,S,HD). 3.25Secret Removers (R,S,HD). 4.20Supernanny US (R,S). 5.00 Baking Madwith Eric Lanlard (R,S,HD). 5.30Location, Location, Location (R,S,HD).

7.00 The Dog Rescuers (R,S,HD).4/10.

7.30 Police 5 (S,HD). New series.Crime prevention advice andappeals for information.Followed by 5 News Update.

8.00 Gibraltar: Britain in the Sun(S,HD). See Choices Above.

9.00 200 Nips & Tucks and I WantMore! (S,HD). The stories ofpeople whose pursuit of theultimate body has taken overtheir lives and led them to havea great number of cosmeticsurgery procedures.

11.00 Body of Proof (R,S,HD). 3/20. Ananny is killed during theabduction of the child in hercare.

11.55 CSI: Crime SceneInvestigation (R,S). 6/24.

10.00 Law & Order: Special VictimsUnit (S,HD). 2/24. Benson andStabler are called to thehospital after the reported rapeof a 10-year-old girl, and amedia frenzy is sparked whenanother victim comes forward.

12.50 SuperCasino. Live interactivegaming. 3.05 Snowtrapped (R,S,HD).Seven stories of people who becametrapped by snow. 3.55 House Doctor (R,S).Home improvements in Northwich,Cheshire. 4.20 House Doctor (R,S). A largedetached house in Cheltenham. 4.45Divine Designs (R,S). 5.10 Nick’s Quest(R,S). 5.35 Nick’s Quest (R,S).

6.00 Homes Under the Hammer(R,S,HD). Properties in Staffordshire,Cumbria and Essex. 7.00 Live WinterOlympics (S,HD). Coverage of the openingevents on day four in Russia. 12.00 DailyPolitics (S). Parliamentary report,presented by Jo Coburn. 1.00 LiveWinter Olympics (S,HD). Furthercoverage of day four in Russia. 4.00 LiveWinter Olympics (S,HD). Furthercoverage from Russia.

7.00 Winter Olympics: Today atthe Games (S,HD). ClareBalding introduces highlightsfrom day four in Russia.

8.00 Children’s EmergencyRescue (S,HD). 3/3. Twins aretaken ill with the same life-threatening condition and aheart surgeon is flown homefrom holiday in America tooperate on an infant. Last inthe series.

9.00 Inside the Animal Mind(S,HD). 3/3. See Choices Above.

10.00 House of Fools (S,HD). 5/6. Vicinvites Bob’s ex-wife Erika overas a surprise for his birthday.


11.20 Dragons’ Den (R,S,HD). 9/12.One entrepreneur tries tograffiti the Den.

11.35 The Crocodile Hunter Diaries(R,S). A lizard is treated after afight.

11.00 Benefits Street (R,S). 5/5. Thelives of people heavily relianton welfare payments. Last inthe series.

12.20 The Super League Show (R,S). 1.05Sign Zone: Inspire: The OlympicJourney (R,S). 1.35 Sign Zone: OperationGrand Canyon with Dan Snow (R,S).2.35 Sign Zone: Vultures: Beauty in theBeast – Natural World (R,S). 3.35 This IsBBC Two (S). 4.00 BBC Learning Zone(S,HD).

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8.00 Who Wants to Be aMillionaire? Chris’s FinalAnswer (S,HD). See ChoicesAbove.

9.00 Births, Deaths andMarriages (S,HD). 2/2. Parttwo of two. The team at OldMarylebone Town Hall has tocancel a wedding after thegroom remembers a previousmarriage in Las Vegas, and acouncil official turns detective.

Holby City, 8pm David Weir: Sports Life … 10.35pm The Taste, 9pm Gibraltar: Britain in the Sun, 8pm

THE TASTE9pm, Channel 4The contestants are challenged to produce sweetand savoury spoonfuls containing chocolate, asthey try to impress judges Nigella Lawson,Anthony Bourdain and Ludo Lefebvre. Withacclaimed pastry chef Eric Lanlard on hand to putthe cooks through their paces, they create dishesranging from cupcakes to Stilton tarts.

INSIDE THE ANIMALMIND9pm, BBC2Chris Packham examineswhy the most intelligentanimals on the planet arealso the most social as hegoes swimming with a podof dolphins in the Bahamas.

GIBRALTAR: BRITAIN IN THE SUN8pm, Channel 5Sgt Dylan Quigley tries to catch a thiefat large on the Rock and also has to dealwith two monkey incidents in one day. DrEric Shaw’s summer of scientific researchcomes to end when he pays Gibraltar’spopulation of Barbary macaques a nocturnalvisit.


11.55 Two and a Half Men(R,S,HD). 11/24. Alandates a cookery teacher.

12.20 Two and a Half Men(R,S,HD). 12.45 Totally BonkersGuinness World Records(R,S,HD). 1.15 Totally BonkersGuinness World Records(R,S,HD). 1.45 Ladette to Lady:Australia (R,S). 2.30Teleshopping. Home shopping.

WHO WANTS TO BE AMILLIONAIRE? CHRIS’SFINAL ANSWER8pm, ITVChris Tarrant looks back athis favourite memories fromthe past 15 years of the quiz,including all the million-pound moments.

BBC1

DEATH IN PARADISE9pm, BBC1A politician commitssuicide, but Humphreysuspects he was killed,and the ensuinginvestigation bringsCamille face to facewith a blast from the past.


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6.00 Milkshake!. 9.15 The Wright Stuff(HD). 11.10 The Hotel Inspector (R,S,HD).12.10 5 News Lunchtime (S,HD). 12.15Ultimate Emergency Bikers (R,S,HD). Avan crashes into railings outsideBirmingham’s Moor Street station. 1.15Home and Away (S,HD). 1.45 Neighbours(S,HD). 2.15 NCIS (R,S). 3.15 Film: Murder101 (S) (2006). Mystery, starring Dick VanDyke.●●● 5.00 5 News at 5 (S,HD). 5.30Neighbours (R,S,HD).

11.00 Body of Proof (R,S,HD). 3/20. Ananny is killed during theabduction of the child in hercare.

11.55 CSI: Crime SceneInvestigation (R,S). 6/24.

10.00 Law & Order: Special VictimsUnit (S,HD). 2/24. Benson andStabler are called to thehospital after the reported rapeof a 10-year-old girl, and amedia frenzy is sparked whenanother victim comes forward.


7.00 You’ve Been Framed!(R,S). 10/28. Comicalclips, featuring anexploding beanbag.

7.30 You’ve Been Framed!(R,S). 5/28. Comical clips.

6.00 Dinner Date (R,S).13/30. Londoner Ianchooses three blinddates.


8.30 Two and a Half Men(R,S,HD). 12/24. Charliedates a psychiatrist.


12.20 Two and a Half Men(R,S,HD). 12.45 Totally BonkersGuinness World Records(R,S,HD). 1.15 Totally BonkersGuinness World Records(R,S,HD). 1.45 Ladette to Lady:Australia (R,S). 2.30Teleshopping. Home shopping.

9.00 The ShawshankRedemption (S,HD)(1994). A bankerwrongly jailed for hiswife’s murder forms anextraordinary friendshipwith a fellow inmate andconceives a uniqueescape plan. Drama, withTim Robbins and MorganFreeman. Including FYIDaily.●●●●●




7.00 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Cindydiscovers her newbornson is in urgent need ofa bone marrowtransplant.

7.35 Iron Man (S,HD) (2008).An arms manufacturerinvents a hi-tech suit ofarmour and uses it inthe fight against evilaround the world.Superhero adventure,starring Robert DowneyJr and Jeff Bridges. SeeChoices Above.●●●●

10.00 Troy (S). 1/6. New series.A magician useseveryday objects andsituations to baffle andamaze members of thepublic. In the firstedition, Troydemonstrates speed-dating with adifference.

12.05 Rules of Engagement(R,S,HD). 12.35 Rules ofEngagement (R,S,HD). 1.05 TheTomorrow People (R,S,HD). 2.05Marvel’s Agents of SHIELD(R,S,HD). 2.50 The Ricky GervaisShow (R,S,HD). 3.15 The ClevelandShow (R,S,HD). 3.40 Glee (R,S,HD).4.25 Ugly Betty (R,S,HD).

6.00 Modern Family(R,S,HD). 6/24.

6.30 The Simpsons (R,S).13/23. Homer changeshis name.

6.00 Inside Gatwick (R,S,HD).7.00 Last Man Standing (R,S,HD).8.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD).9.00 Futurama (R,S). 10.00 NCIS:Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 2.00 HawaiiFive-0 (R,S,HD). The team goes onthe trail of a violent prison escapee.3.00 Last Man Standing (S,HD).4.00 Futurama (R,S). 5.00 TheSimpsons (R,S). 5.30 ModernFamily (R,S,HD).

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S).21/24. Sideshow Bob andSelma get engaged.

7.30 The Simpsons (R,S).12/22. With the guestvoice of Britney Spears.

8.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S).4/24. The cops attend ahigh-society weddingwhere one of the guestshas been murdered, andwhen the bride goesmissing, she becomesprime suspect.

10.00 NCIS: Los Angeles(R,S,HD). 4/24. Theagents find themselvesin danger whileinvestigating thekidnapping of a manclaiming to be Callen’sfather. Chris O’Donnelland Eric Christian Olsenstar.

12.00 A League of Their Own(R,S,HD). 1.00 Hawaii Five-0(R,S,HD). 2.00 Brit Cops: Law &Disorder (R,S,HD). 3.00 RoadWars (R,S). 4.00 Inside Gatwick(R,S,HD). 5.00 Airline USA(R,S,HD). 5.30 Airline USA(R,S,HD).

11.00 A League of TheirOwn (R,S,HD). 2/11.With Jimmy Carr, JohnBishop, Peter Crouchand Louise Hazel.

9.00 Ross Kemp: ExtremeWorld (S,HD). 4/6. SeeChoices Above.

6.20 Last of the SummerWine (S). 7/11. Compo’sfuneral day dawns.

6.15 Ever Decreasing Circles (S). 6.45Harry Hill’s TV Burp. 7.10 ’Allo ’Allo! (S).7.50 As Time Goes By (S). 8.30Goodnight Sweetheart. 9.10 KeepingUp Appearances (S). 9.50 2point4Children (S). 10.30 Last of the SummerWine (S). 11.50 Ever Decreasing Circles(S). 12.30 dinnerladies (S). 1.10 OnlyFools and Horses (S). 2.30 Harry Hill’s TVBurp. 3.00 ’Allo ’Allo! (S). 3.40 As TimeGoes By (S). 4.20 Goodnight Sweetheart.5.00 Keeping Up Appearances (S). 5.40Last of the Summer Wine (S).

7.00 Only Fools and Horses(S). 3/6. Del discovers astatue of a Hindu god.

7.40 Only Fools and Horses(S). 4/6.

8.20 dinnerladies (S). 2/6.The staff await a royalvisit.

10.50 The Vicar of Dibley (S).2/4. The villagers set up aradio station.

11.30 The Smell of Reevesand Mortimer (S). 2/6.Mulligan and O’Harepresent their newalbum.

12.10 The Vicar of Dibley (S).Geraldine gives up chocolate forLent. 1.00 The Vicar of Dibley (S).Geraldine plays Cupid in theChristmas edition from 1997. 1.40The Vicar of Dibley (S). 2.10 TheSmell of Reeves and Mortimer(S). Mulligan and O’Hare presenttheir new album. 3.00 Close

9.00 The Vicar of Dibley (S).7/8. Geraldine gives upchocolate for Lent.

9.55 The Vicar of Dibley (S).1/4. Geraldine playsCupid in the Christmasedition from 1997.

6.00 Football’s GreatestInternational Teams(S,HD).

6.30 Revista De La Liga(HD).

6.00 Good Morning Sports Fans (HD).9.00 One2Eleven (HD). 10.00 TheFootballers’ Football Show (HD). 11.00FL72 Review. 12.00 Premier LeagueReview (HD). 1.00 One2Eleven (HD).1.15 One2Eleven (HD). 1.30One2Eleven: Larsson and Baresi (HD).1.45 One2Eleven: AP McCoy and OleGunnar Solskjaer (HD). 2.00 TheFootballers’ Football Show (HD). 3.00FL72 Review. 4.00 Soccer AM: The BestBits (HD). 5.00 Premier League Review(HD).

7.30 Soccer Special. JulianWarren introduces pre-match reports and newsof all tonight’s goals asthey go in, while studioguests keep an eye onthe big games andtalking points.

11.30 Football Special (HD).A chance to seehighlights from one oftonight’s Premier Leaguematches.

1.00 Football Special (HD). 2.30Football Gold (S,HD). 2.45Football Gold (S). 3.00 Football’sGreatest International Teams(S,HD). 3.30 Football Asia (S). 4.00Darts Gold (S,HD). 4.15 DartsGold (HD). 4.30 Darts Gold (HD).4.45 Darts Gold (HD). 5.00Revista De La Liga (HD).

10.00 Football Special (HD).A chance to seehighlights from one oftonight’s Premier Leaguematches, which wereHull City v Southampton,West Ham United vNorwich City andWestBromwich Albion vChelsea.

You’ve Been Framed!, 7pm Troy, 10pm Ross Kemp: Extreme… 9pm The Vicar of Dibley, 9pm Revista De La Liga, 6.30pm

WHO WANTS TO BE AMILLIONAIRE? CHRIS’SFINAL ANSWER8pm, ITVChris Tarrant looks back athis favourite memories fromthe past 15 years of the quiz,including all the million-pound moments.

ROSS KEMP: EXTREME WORLD9pm, Sky1Ross visits the Middle East, where Lebanon ison the brink of civil war. In Tripoli, SunniMuslims are fighting Shia Muslim Alawites ina battle that mirrors the war in neighbouringSyria. Their frontline is a mile-long street, thebuildings on each side riddled with bulletholes and RPG explosions.

11.00 Rude Tube: Love Bytes(R,S,HD). 5/8. Fiftyinternet clips ofromantic, raunchy andweird characters.

7.00 Snog, Marry,Avoid? (R,S,HD).

7.30 Snog, Marry,Avoid? (R,S,HD).

8.00 Tough YoungTeachers(R,S,HD). A fightoutside of schoolhas seriousconsequences fora pupil.

9.00 Sun, Sex andSuspiciousParents:Thailand (S,HD).A mummy’s girland a studenthead to Phuket.

10.00 Sexy Beasts(S,HD). Datingshow, basedpurely onpersonality.

11.00 Family Guy (R,S).11.25 Family Guy (R,S).11.45 American Dad!

(R,S,HD).12.10 American Dad!(R,S,HD). 12.30 Sun, Sexand Suspicious Parents:Thailand (R,S,HD). 1.30EastEnders (R,S,HD). 2.00Bluestone 42 (R,S,HD).2.30 Bluestone 42Christmas Special(R,S,HD). 3.00 Sun, Sexand Suspicious Parents:Thailand (R,S).

7.00 World NewsToday (HD);Weather.


8.00 Timeshift: TheGolden Age ofLiners (R). PaulAtterburyexamines theallure of oceanliners.

9.00 Danny Baker’sRockin’ Decades– The Eighties.The presentercelebrates Britishrock of the 1980s.

10.00 Danny BakerRocks theEighties (A Bit)(HD).

10.30 Parks andRecreation (HD).

10.50 Parks andRecreation (HD).

11.15 Wild China(R,HD).

12.15 Pain, Pus & Poison:The Search for ModernMedicines (R,HD). 1.15Timeshift: The GoldenAge of Liners (R). 2.15Danny Baker Rocks theEighties (A Bit) (R,HD).2.45 Danny Baker’sRockin’ Decades – TheEighties (R).

IRON MAN7.35pm, E4An arms manufacturerinvents a hi-tech suit ofarmour and uses it inthe fight against evilaround the world.Adventure, starringRobert Downey Jr.

THE HOAX11.35pm, BBC1Fact-based drama abouta struggling author whoduped a publishinghouse into believing hehad been hired byHoward Hughes as abiographer.


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6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 9.15 WantedDown Under Revisited (S,HD). 10.00Homes Under the Hammer (R,S,HD).11.00 Bargain Hunt (R,S). 11.30 LiveWinter Olympics (S,HD). 1.00 BBC News;Weather (S,HD). 1.30 Regional News (S);Weather. 1.45 Doctors (S,HD). 2.15 WPC56 (S,HD). 3.00 Perfection (R,S). 3.45Escape to the Country (S,HD). 4.30 PutYour Money Where Your Mouth Is(S,HD). 5.15 Pointless (R,S,HD).

7.00 The One Show (S,HD). MattBaker and Alex Jones presentthe live magazine show.Followed by BBC News;Regional News.


8.00Waterloo Road (S,HD). 16/20.Kevin nervously prepares for hisuniversity bursary interview,only to be rushed to hospitalafter collapsing. Gabriellaaccuses Nikki and Hector ofhaving an affair.

9.00 Outnumbered (S,HD). 3/6. SeeChoices Above.

9.30Mrs Brown’s Boys (R,S,HD).3/6. Agnes looks after a roboticbaby.


by National Lottery Update.10.35Match of the Day (S,HD).

Highlights of the midweekPremier League matches, whichinclude Arsenal v ManchesterUnited at the Emirates Stadiumand Manchester City vSunderland.


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6.00 Daybreak (S,HD). 8.30 Lorraine (S).9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show (S,HD). 10.30This Morning (S). 12.30 Loose Women(S,HD). Topical debate from a femaleperspective. 1.30 ITV News and Weather(S). 1.55 ITV News West Country (S). 2.00Dickinson’s Real Deal (S,HD). FromMeltonMowbray. 3.00 The Alan TitchmarshShow (S,HD). 3.59 Regional Programme(S). 4.00 Britain’s Best Bakery (S,HD). 5.00The Chase (S,HD).

6.25 Countdown (R,S,HD). 7.10 Will &Grace (R,S). 8.00 Everybody LovesRaymond (R,S). 9.00 Frasier (R,S). 10.00Undercover Boss Canada (S). 11.00 SarahBeeny’s Selling Houses (R,S,HD). 12.00Channel 4 News Midday Summary (S).12.05 Jamie’s 15 Minute Meals (R,S,HD).12.35 Come Dine with Me Down Under(R,S). 3.10 Countdown (S,HD). 4.00 Dealor No Deal: Love HQ (S,HD). 5.00 ComeDine with Me (S,HD). 5.30 Coach Trip (S).

6.00 Milkshake!. 9.15 The Wright Stuff(HD). 11.10 The Hotel Inspector (R,S,HD).12.10 5 News Lunchtime (S,HD). 12.15Snowtrapped (R,S,HD). Seven stories ofpeople who became trapped by snow. 1.15Home and Away (S,HD). 1.45 Neighbours(S,HD). 2.15 NCIS (R,S). 3.15 Film:Dangerous Attraction (S) (2012). Thriller,starring Amanda Righetti.●●● 5.00 5News at 5 (S,HD). 5.30 Neighbours(R,S,HD).

7.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). Val’ssilence pushes Eric into thearms of Diane.

7.30 Coronation Street (S,HD).Peter begs Tina not to leaveWeatherfield.


6.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 10/20.6.30 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Cindy

discovers her newborn son is inurgent need of a bone marrowtransplant.

6.00 Home and Away (R,S,HD).Bianca tries to persuade Aprilto go though with thewedding.



Weather.10.35 The Jonathan Ross Show

(R,S,HD). 6/10. The host isjoined by 24 star KieferSutherland.

12.05 Jackpot247. Interactive gaming.3.00 Film: Columbo: Murder in Malibu(S) (1990). Crime drama, starring Peter Falk.●● 4.35 ITV Nightscreen (HD). Text-basedinformation service. 5.05 The Jeremy KyleShow (R,S). Guests air their differences.


8.00 The Restoration Man (S,HD).6/7. Architect George Clarkemeets a furniture-maker whowants to create a home out ofa colossal SecondWorld WarRAF bunker with no naturallight and a back sectionsubmerged in water.

9.00 24 Hours in A&E (S,HD). 6/8.The team treats a 48-year-oldman who has been havingseizures, a 70-year-old patientwith breathing difficulties anda seven-year-old girl who felloff a climbing frame at school.

10.00 First Dates (S). 1/8. New series.Return of the dating show inwhich singletons meet up withpossible partners at arestaurant, having selectedthem based solely on aninternet photograph.

12.00 Random Acts (S). 12.05 Film: ILove You Phillip Morris (S,HD) (2009).See Choices Above.●●● 1.50 Film:Keeping Mum (S) (2005). See ChoicesAbove.●●● 3.35 How to Cope withDeath (R,S). 3.40 Location, Location,Location (R,S,HD). 4.35 Supernanny US(R,S). 5.15 River Cottage Bites (R,S,HD).5.30 Deal or No Deal: Love HQ (R,S,HD).

7.00 Trauma Doctors (R,S,HD). A22-year-old who has fallenthree storeys is rushed to theRoyal London Hospital.Followed by 5 News Update.

8.00 Ultimate Emergency Bikers(S,HD). An elderly couple aretrapped in their car following apile-up on the A13, and aparamedic in Cornwall treats a12-year-old rugby playercomplaining of neck pain.Followed by 5 News at 9.

9.00 NCIS (S,HD). 2/24. See ChoicesAbove.

11.00 Law & Order: Special VictimsUnit (R,S,HD). 1/19. Benson andStabler investigate a case ofalleged child abuse.

10.00 Suspects (S,HD). 1/10. SeeChoices Above.

12.00 The Big Game (S,HD). Action fromthe poker game. 12.55 SuperCasino. Liveinteractive gaming. 3.05 Brain Hospital:Saving Lives (R,S,HD). Documentaryfollowing patients being treated atLiverpool’s Walton Centre. 3.55 HouseDoctor (R,S). 4.20 House Doctor (R,S).4.45 Divine Designs (R,S). 5.10 Nick’sQuest (R,S). 5.35 Wildlife SOS (R,S).

6.00 This Is BBC Two (S). Preview ofupcoming programmes. 6.45 LiveWinter Olympics (S,HD). Coverage fromRussia on day five of the Games. 11.30Daily Politics (S). Including PrimeMinister’s Questions. 1.00 Live WinterOlympics (S,HD). Further coverage ofday five in Russia. 4.00 Live WinterOlympics (S,HD). Continued coverageof the fifth day of the Games inRussia.

7.00Winter Olympics: Today atthe Games (S,HD). ClareBalding introduces highlightsfrom day five in Russia.

8.00 The Restaurant Man (S,HD).3/6. Russell Norman comes tothe aid of a woman planning toopen a Swedish diner inMacclesfield, Cheshire.

9.00 Line of Duty (S,HD). 1/6. Newseries. The return of the crimethriller about a police anti-corruption unit. DI LindsayDenton comes under suspicionafter a police convoy isambushed. Starring KeeleyHawes.

10.00 Inside No 9 (S,HD). 2/6. SeeChoices Above.


11.20 Top Gear (R,S,HD). 2/7. Tests ofthe Alfa Romeo 4C and theMcLaren P1.

11.40 Corfu: A Tale of Two Islands(R,S,HD). 4/8. A teenagerstruggling to find work overthe busy summer season.

11.00 Troy (S). 1/6. New series. Amagician baffles and amazesunsuspecting members of thepublic.

12.20 Sign Zone: See Hear (R,S,HD).12.50 Sign Zone: Dolphins – Spy in thePod (R,S). 1.50 Sign Zone: Children’sEmergency Rescue (R,S). 2.50 This Is BBCTwo (S). 3.00 BBC Learning Zone (S,HD).5.00 Live Winter Olympics (S,HD).Coverage of the opening events on thesixth day in Russia.

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8.00Midsomer Murders (S,HD).5/5. See Choices Above.

Waterloo Road, 8pm The Restaurant Man, 8pm Coronation Street, 7.30pm 24 Hours in A&E, 9pm Ultimate Emergency Bikers, 8pm

INSIDE NO 910pm, BBC2Gerald and Sabrina’s modernist home has lotsof beautiful things in it of extremely highvalue. So when cat-burglars Ray and Eddiedecide to break into the luxury house, theyhave to dodge all manner of obstacles –including the warring couple who live there –to get their hands on a priceless painting.

MIDSOMER MURDERS8pm, ITVThe 100th episode, whichsees Barnaby and Nelsonteam up with a pair offemale detectives inCopenhagen to investigatethe murder of factory bossEric Calder. Last in the series.

NCIS9pm, Channel 5Gibbs and the team investigate the death of anarmoury employee when divers find her bodyin a car at the bottom of a lake. The victim hadbeen reported missing since she was evacuatedbefore the blast at NCIS headquarters.Meanwhile, crisis counsellor Miles Wolf carriesout psychological assessments of all the agents.

6.00 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 6.25 HolidayAirport: Palma (R). 7.25 You’ve BeenFramed! (R,S). 7.45 The Jeremy KyleShow USA (R,S). 8.30 Dinner Date(R,S). 9.30 The Real Housewives ofAtlanta (R,S,HD). 10.30 The RealHousewives of New Jersey (R,S,HD).11.30 Millionaire Matchmaker(R,S,HD). 12.30 Emmerdale (R,S,HD).1.00 The Cube (R,S,HD). 2.00 TheJeremy Kyle Show (R,S). 4.10 The RealHousewives of New Jersey (S,HD).5.05 Millionaire Matchmaker (R,S,HD).

12.00 Fake Reaction (R,S,HD).12.45 Two and a Half Men(R,S,HD). 1.15 Two and a HalfMen (R,S,HD). 1.40 The MagalufWeekender (R,S,HD). Rep Jordanis thrilled to welcomeWelsh gueststo the hotel. Last in the series. 2.30Teleshopping. Home shopping.

SUSPECTS10pm, Channel 5New series. Crime dramafollowing the work of ateam of detectives. A two-year-old girl is abducted fromher home. Starring FayRipley, Damien Molonyand Clare-Hope Ashitey.

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OUTNUMBERED9pm, BBC1The arrival of Pete’sgoddaughter fromAustralia has anunfortunate effect onthe household, whileBen’s role in Spartacus:The Musical is under threat.


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6.00 Milkshake!. 9.15 The Wright Stuff(HD). 11.10 The Hotel Inspector (R,S,HD).12.10 5 News Lunchtime (S,HD). 12.15Snowtrapped (R,S,HD). Seven stories ofpeople who became trapped by snow. 1.15Home and Away (S,HD). 1.45 Neighbours(S,HD). 2.15 NCIS (R,S). 3.15 Film:Dangerous Attraction (S) (2012). Thriller,starring Amanda Righetti.●●● 5.00 5News at 5 (S,HD). 5.30 Neighbours(R,S,HD).

8.00 Ultimate Emergency Bikers(S,HD). An elderly couple aretrapped in their car following apile-up on the A13, and aparamedic in Cornwall treats a12-year-old rugby playercomplaining of neck pain.Followed by 5 News at 9.

9.00 NCIS (S,HD). 2/24. See ChoicesAbove.

11.00 Law & Order: Special VictimsUnit (R,S,HD). 1/19. Benson andStabler investigate a case ofalleged child abuse.

NCIS9pm, Channel 5Gibbs and the team investigate the death of anarmoury employee when divers find her bodyin a car at the bottom of a lake. The victim hadbeen reported missing since she was evacuatedbefore the blast at NCIS headquarters.Meanwhile, crisis counsellor Miles Wolf carriesout psychological assessments of all the agents.

6.00 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 6.25 HolidayAirport: Palma (R). 7.25 You’ve BeenFramed! (R,S). 7.45 The Jeremy KyleShow USA (R,S). 8.30 Dinner Date(R,S). 9.30 The Real Housewives ofAtlanta (R,S,HD). 10.30 The RealHousewives of New Jersey (R,S,HD).11.30 Millionaire Matchmaker(R,S,HD). 12.30 Emmerdale (R,S,HD).1.00 The Cube (R,S,HD). 2.00 TheJeremy Kyle Show (R,S). 4.10 The RealHousewives of New Jersey (S,HD).5.05 Millionaire Matchmaker (R,S,HD).


7.30 You’ve Been Framed!(R,S). 9/28. Humorousfootage, including anout-of-control rally car.

6.00 Dinner Date (R,S).14/30. Nico fromCheshire picks threeblind dates.

8.00 Two and a Half Men(R,S,HD). 13/24. Charliemakes an inappropriateproposal.

8.30 Two and a Half Men(R,S,HD). 14/24. One ofCharlie’s formergirlfriends turns up.

10.00 The MagalufWeekender (R,S,HD).6/6. A trio of lads fromManchester and threeNewport girls check intothe Lively Hotel, and repJordan is thrilled tofinally welcome someWelsh guests to Magaluf.Last in the series.

11.00 The Big Reunion 2014(R,S,HD). 1/8. With popgroups Eternal, A1,Damage, Girl Thing, 3Tand 5th Story.

12.00 Fake Reaction (R,S,HD).12.45 Two and a Half Men(R,S,HD). 1.15 Two and a HalfMen (R,S,HD). 1.40 The MagalufWeekender (R,S,HD). Rep Jordanis thrilled to welcomeWelsh gueststo the hotel. Last in the series. 2.30Teleshopping. Home shopping.

9.00 Benidorm (R,S,HD). 6/7.Madge comes to termswith news about herhealth and makes themost of her last few daysin the sun. Kenneth goeson a health kick and theSolana holds an eatingcompetition.




7.00 Hollyoaks (S,HD).7.30 How I Met Your

Mother (R,S,HD). 4/22.An old shirt brings backmemories.


8.30 The Big Bang Theory(R,S,HD). 2/24. Leonardand Sheldon go throughan adjustment period.

10.00 Rude Tube: Love Bytes(R,S,HD). 5/8. Alex Zanecounts down through 50internet clips ofromantic, raunchy andweird characters,including an entry billedas the greatest marriageproposal ever.

12.05 The Inbetweeners (R,S). 12.40The Midnight Beast (R,S,HD). 1.10Brooklyn Nine-Nine (R,S,HD). 1.40 2Broke Girls (R,S,HD). 2.10 TheInbetweeners Top 10 Moments (R,S).3.00 The Ricky Gervais Show (R,S,HD).3.25 The Cleveland Show (R,S,HD).3.45 Glee (R,S,HD). 4.30 Ugly Betty(R,S,HD).

9.00 The Tomorrow People(S,HD). 6/22. The distancebetween John and Caragrows as they fail tocommunicate, andRussell is upset when hediscovers that his father– with whom he had afractured relationship –has died.


6.30 The Simpsons (R,S).1/22. Marge is temptedby another man.

6.00 Inside Gatwick (R,S,HD).7.00 Last Man Standing (R,S,HD).8.00 Modern Family (R,S,HD).9.00 Futurama (R,S). 10.00 NCIS:Los Angeles (R,S,HD). 2.00 HawaiiFive-0 (R,S,HD). A US ambassador’sdaughter is murdered. 3.00 TheSimpsons (R,S,HD). 3.30Futurama (R,S). 4.30 TheSimpsons (R,S). 5.30 ModernFamily (R,S,HD).

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S).6/22. Lisa goes on arampage throughschool.


8.00 Ashley Banjo’s BigTown Dance (S,HD). 6/6.The Diversity frontmanhas 10 days to knock hiscrews into shape for theUK’s biggest streetperformance. Last in theseries.

10.00 Duck Quacks Don’tEcho (R). 1/8. Lee Mackhosts this comedy panelgame in which he isjoined by Dara O Briain,Ruth Jones and MelanieC to find the answers toall sorts of questions.

12.00 A League of Their Own(R,S,HD). 1.00 Hawaii Five-0(R,S,HD). 2.00 Brit Cops: Law &Disorder (R,S,HD). 3.00 RoadWars (R,S). 4.00 Inside Gatwick(R,S,HD). 5.00 Airline USA(R,S,HD). 5.30 Airline USA(R,S,HD).

11.00 A League of TheirOwn (R,S,HD). 3/11.With Micky Flanagan,Gabby Logan and JessicaEnnis-Hill.

9.00 The Kumars (S,HD). 5/6.See Choices Above.

6.20 Last of the SummerWine (S). 9/11. Compo’sson causes chaos.


7.00 Only Fools and Horses(S). 5/6. Del enters thetourist trade.

7.40 Only Fools and Horses(S). 6/6. The Trottersprepare for war.

8.20 dinnerladies (S). 3/6.Bren’s mother wreakshavoc.

10.20 Blackadder Goes Forth(S). 3/6. CaptainBlackadder organises astage show.

11.00 The League ofGentlemen (S). 2/6.Joke-shop proprietorLance has an armtransplant.


12.20 Blackadder II (S). Edmundembarks on a voyage around theCape of Good Hope. 1.00Blackadder the Third (S). 1.30Blackadder Goes Forth (S). 2.00The League of Gentlemen (S).2.30 The Smell of Reeves andMortimer (S). 3.00 Close

9.00 Blackadder II (S). 3/6.Edmund embarks on avoyage around the Capeof Good Hope.

9.40 Blackadder the Third(S). 3/6. Edmund getscaught up in the FrenchRevolution.

6.00 Boots ’n’ All (HD).Super League review.

6.00 Good Morning Sports Fans(HD). 8.00 Football’s GreatestInternational Teams (S,HD). 8.30Live Test Cricket (HD). South Africav Australia. 4.00 Football’sGreatest International Teams(S,HD). A look at some of thegreatest teams in the history of thegame. 4.30 Football Gold (S,HD).5.00 Revista De La Liga (HD).Highlights from La Liga.

7.00 PL 100 Club (S,HD). Aprofile of Thierry Henry.

7.30 Soccer Special (HD).Julian Warren introducespre-match reports andnews of all tonight’sgoals as they go in, whilestudio guests keep aneye on the big gamesand talking points.

11.30 Football Special (HD).A chance to seehighlights from one oftonight’s Premier Leaguematches.

1.00 PL 100 Club (S,HD). 1.30 PL100 Club (S,HD). 2.00 FootballLeague Gold (S,HD). 2.15 FootballLeague Gold (S,HD). 2.30 FootballLeague Gold (S,HD). 2.45 FootballLeague Gold (S,HD). 3.00 What’sthe Story? (HD). 4.00 Boots ’n’ All(HD). 5.00 Football League Gold(S,HD).

10.00 Football Special (HD).A chance to seehighlights from one oftonight’s Premier Leaguematches, which includedEverton v Crystal Palace,Newcastle United vTottenham Hotspur andFulham v Liverpool.

The Magaluf … 10pm Rude Tube: Love Bytes, 10pm Ashley Banjo’s Big … 8pm Live Test Cricket, 8.30am

SUSPECTS10pm, Channel 5New series. Crime dramafollowing the work of ateam of detectives. A two-year-old girl is abducted fromher home. Starring FayRipley, Damien Molonyand Clare-Hope Ashitey.

THE KUMARS9pm, Sky1Silent Witness star Emilia Fox, actress-presenter Caroline Quentin and movie actorRichard E Grant – currently appearing inseries three of Girls – are the guests on thehome-made family chat show. Hosted bySanjeev Bhaskar, with Meera Syal andVincent Ebrahim.

11.00 The Inbetweeners Top10 Moments (R,S). Acountdown of thecomedy show’shighlights.

7.00Would I Lie toYou? TheUnseen Bits(R,S,HD).

7.30Would I Lie toYou? (R,S,HD).

8.00 Sexy Beasts(R,S,HD). Datingshow, basedpurely onpersonality.

9.00 Generation Sex:Secrets of SouthAmerica (S,HD).The hidden worldof sex inArgentina.

10.00 Sun, Sex andSuspiciousParents:Thailand(R,S,HD).

11.00 Family Guy(R,S).


11.45 American Dad!(R,S,HD).

12.10 American Dad!(R,S,HD). 12.30Generation Sex: Secretsof South America(R,S,HD). 1.30 Sexy Beasts(R,S,HD). 2.30 RussellHoward’s Good News(R,S,HD). 3.00 GenerationSex: Secrets of SouthAmerica (R,S).



8.00 Ancient Greece:The GreatestShow on Earth(R,HD). Theprevalence oftheatre in thefourth centuryBC.

9.00 Danny Baker’sRockin’ Decades– The Nineties.

10.00 Danny BakerRocks theNineties (A Bit)(HD).

10.30My Son theFanatic (1997).Drama, starringOm Puri.●●●

11.55MechanicalMarvels:ClockworkDreams (R,HD).

12.55 Ancient Greece:The Greatest Show onEarth (R,HD). 1.55 Soundsof the 70s 2 Reggae – StirIt Up (R). 2.25 DannyBaker Rocks theNineties (A Bit) (R,HD).2.55 Danny Baker’sRockin’ Decades – TheNineties (R).

KEEPING MUM1.50am, Channel 4A housekeeper helps awell-meaning but dullvicar sort out hisdysfunctional family’svarious problems.Comedy, starring RowanAtkinson.

I LOVE YOU PHILLIPMORRIS12.05am, Channel 4A gay conman falls inlove with a convict andgoes to desperatelengths to secure theirfuture. Jim Carrey andEwan McGregor star.


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6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 9.15 WantedDown Under Revisited (S,HD). 10.00Homes Under the Hammer (S,HD). 11.00Bargain Hunt (S). 12.00 Live WinterOlympics (S,HD). 1.00 BBC News;Weather (S,HD). 1.30 Regional News (S);Weather. 1.45 Doctors (S,HD). 2.15 WPC56 (S,HD). 3.00 Perfection (R,S). 3.45Escape to the Country (S,HD). 4.30 PutYour Money Where Your Mouth Is(S,HD). 5.15 Pointless (R,S,HD).

7.00 The One Show (S,HD). Topicalstories from around the UK.

7.30 EastEnders (S,HD). Billy warnsAlfie to come clean about hissecret. Followed by BBC News;Regional News.


8.00 Pound Shop Wars (S,HD). 2/4.See Choices Above.

8.30 Inspector George Gently(S,HD). 2/4. See Choices Above.

10.00 BBC News (S,HD).10.25 Regional News (S); Weather.10.35 Question Time (S,HD). 20/38.

Alan Johnson MP is among thepanellists answering questionsin Scunthorpe, NorthLincolnshire. Chaired by DavidDimbleby.

11.35 This Week (S). The past sevendays in politics.

12.20 Skiing Weatherview (S). 12.25 BBCNews (S,HD).

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6.00 Daybreak (S,HD). 8.30 Lorraine (S).9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show (S,HD). 10.30This Morning (S). 12.30 Loose Women(S,HD). With the Hairy Bikers. 1.30 ITVNews and Weather (S). 1.55 ITV NewsWest Country (S). 2.00 Dickinson’s RealDeal (S,HD). Valuing antiques in Ludlow,Shropshire. 3.00 The Alan TitchmarshShow (S,HD). 3.59 Regional Programme(S). 4.00 Britain’s Best Bakery (S,HD). 5.00The Chase (S,HD).

6.25 Countdown (R,S,HD). 7.10 Will &Grace (R,S,HD). 8.00 Everybody LovesRaymond (R,S). 9.00 Frasier (R,S). 10.00Undercover Boss Canada (S). 11.00 SarahBeeny’s Selling Houses (R,S,HD). 12.00Channel 4 News Midday Summary (S).12.05 Jamie’s 15 Minute Meals (R,S,HD).12.35 Come Dine with Me: Ireland (R,S).3.10 Countdown (S,HD). 4.00 Deal or NoDeal: Love HQ (S,HD). 5.00 Come Dinewith Me (S,HD). 5.30 Coach Trip (S).

6.00 Milkshake!. 9.15 The Wright Stuff(HD). 11.10 The Hotel Inspector (R,S,HD).12.10 5 News Lunchtime (S,HD). 12.15Ben Fogle: New Lives in the Wild(R,S,HD). 1.15 Home and Away (S,HD).1.45 Neighbours (S,HD). 2.15 NCIS Partone of two. The team is ordered to protectZiva’s father. (R,S,HD). 3.15 Film: LikeMother, Like Daughter (S,HD) (2007). SeeChoices Above.●● 5.00 5 News at 5(S,HD). 5.30 Neighbours (R,S,HD).

7.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). Victoriatells Diane the truth about Val.

7.30 Can We Trust the Police?:Tonight (S,HD). Fiona Fosterinvestigates public confidencein the police.


6.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 11/20.6.30 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Mercedes

poses as a cleaner to gain accessto the home of Browning’sex-wife.

6.00 Home and Away (R,S,HD).Josh is annoyed by Maddytreating him like a charity case.



Weather.10.35 The Cube (R,S,HD). 6/9. A

penguin-keeper and a 31-year-old man aim to complete aseries of increasingly difficulttasks inside the cube to win ajackpot of £250,000. Hosted byPhillip Schofield.

12.30 Jackpot247. Interactive gaming.3.00 Can We Trust the Police?: Tonight(R,HD). Fiona Foster investigates publicconfidence in the police. 3.25 ITVNightscreen (HD). Text-based informationservice. 5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show(R,S,HD). Guests air their differences.


8.00 Supersize vs Superskinny(S,HD). 5/10. Two youngmothers enter the feedingclinic, Christian Jessen visits aresidential weight-loss camp inLas Vegas and EmmaWoolfmeets a woman with bothcerebral palsy and anorexia.

9.00 Big Ballet (S). 2/3. CoachesWayne Sleep and MonicaLoughman audition the plus-size dancers for parts in SwanLake and the pressure is on tosee who is cast as the lead andher evil counterpart.

10.00 Bodyshockers: My TattooHell (S,HD). 3/4. Katie Pipercontinues her exploration ofbody modification in Magaluf,where she meets Stefan, whogot a drunken tattoo and wokeup to an unpleasant surprisethe following morning.

12.05 24 Hours in A&E (R,S,HD). 1.00Random Acts (S). 1.05 First Dates (R,S).2.00 Payday (R,S,HD). 2.55 BenefitsBritain: The Bedroom Tax – Channel 4Dispatches (R,S). 3.25 Food Unwrapped(R,S,HD). 3.50 Location, Location,Location (R,S,HD). 4.50 Supernanny US(R,S). 5.30 Deal or No Deal: Love HQ(R,S,HD).

7.00 Titanic: The True Story (R,S).Documentary using scientificexperiments to investigate thetruth about the liner’s sinkingon its maiden voyage in April1912. Followed by 5 News.

8.00 The Kidnapping of Shergar(S). See Choices Above.Followed by 5 News at 9.

9.00 The Hotel Inspector (S,HD).2/8. Alex Polizzi visits thestruggling Vidella Hotel inBlackpool, where owners Neiland John’s love of practicaljokes is starting to affect bothtrade and their friendship.

11.00 CSI: NY (R,S,HD). 3/17. A man’sbody is found on the BrooklynBridge.

10.00 Brain Hospital: Saving Lives(S,HD). 2/4. A woman has anoperation to deal with hersevere epilepsy, and a manundergoes emergency surgeryto remove a tumour on hispituitary gland that is pressingon his optic nerves.

12.00 SuperCasino. Live interactivegaming. 3.05 World’s Scariest Stunts:Caught On Camera (R,S,HD). Spectacularand dangerous stunts. 3.55 House Doctor(R,S). Tackling a property in the East End ofLondon. 4.20 House Doctor (R,S). 4.45Divine Designs (R,S). 5.10 Wildlife SOS(R,S). 5.35 Wildlife SOS (R,S).

5.00 Live Winter Olympics (S,HD).Coverage of the opening events on the sixthday in Russia. 12.00 Daily Politics (S).Parliamentary report. 1.00 Live WinterOlympics (S,HD). Jonathan Edwardspresents further coverage of day six inRussia, featuring cross-country skiing andice hockey highlights, plus live speed skatingand biathlon. 4.00 Live Winter Olympics(S,HD). Concluding coverage on day six inRussia.

7.30 Winter Olympics: Today atthe Games (S,HD). ClareBalding introduces highlightsfrom day six in Russia.

8.00 The Hairy Bikers’ AsianAdventure (S,HD). 1/6. SeeChoices Above.

9.00 Bible Hunters (S,HD). 1/2. Partone of two. The stories of thededicated men and womenwho travelled across Egypt inthe 19th and early 20thcenturies to unearth theearliest Christian texts.

10.00 Charlie Brooker’s WeeklyWipe (S,HD). 6/6. Highlightsfrom the show. Last in theseries.


11.20 Inside the Animal Mind (R,S).3/3. Why the cleverest animalsare also the most social. Last inthe series.

11.35 The Great Train Robbery(R,S,HD). A look back at theAugust 1963 heist, featuringinterviews with key figures.

11.05 Getting Rich in theRecession: Scrappers(R,S,HD). 1/2. The boomingscrap-metal industry.

12.20 The Review Show (S,HD). 1.05Sign Zone: Immigration Undercover:The Student Visa Scandal – Panorama(R,S). 1.35 Sign Zone: Inspire: TheOlympic Journey (R,S). 2.05 Sign Zone:Pilgrimage with Simon Reeve (R,S). 3.05This Is BBC Two (S). 4.00 BBC LearningZone (S,HD).

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8.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). Dianeencourages Val to get testedand tell Eric.

8.30 Birds of a Feather (S,HD). 7/8.Tracey, Sharon and Dorien losetheir jobs.

9.00 Benidorm (S,HD). 7/7. SeeChoices Above.

EastEnders, 7.30pm Charlie Brooker’s Weekly … 10pm The Cube, 10.35pm Supersize vs Superskinny, 8pm Brain Hospital: Saving Lives, 10pm

POUND SHOP WARS8pm, BBC1The daily fortunes of retail business Poundworldand its CEO Chris Edwards. The company isopening a new store in Peterborough, not faraway from the city’s longest-running smallindependent pound shop, whose owner, ZafferIqbal, vows to take on the newcomer. But is thisthe last straw for the small retailer?

THE HAIRY BIKERS’ASIAN ADVENTURE8pm, BBC2In this new series, DaveMyers and Si King travelaround Asia exploring theroots of some of theirfavourite dishes from thecontinent, beginning in Hong Kong.

THE KIDNAPPING OF SHERGAR8pm, Channel 5In February 1983, Epsom Derby winner Shergarwas abducted from his home at the BallymanyStud in Co Kildare by an armed gang andtaken away in a trailer – the racehorse’s fateremains a mystery. This documentary traces thelife and career of Shergar and speculates onhow the crime unfolded.

6.00 Emmerdale 6.25 CoronationStreet 6.55 You’ve Been Framed!(R,S). 7.45 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA(R,S). 8.30 Dinner Date (R,S). 9.30 TheReal Housewives of Atlanta (R,S,HD).10.30 The Real Housewives of NewJersey (R,S,HD). 11.30 MillionaireMatchmaker 12.30 Emmerdale 1.00Coronation Street (R,S,HD). 1.30You’ve Been Framed! (R,S). 2.00 TheJeremy Kyle Show (R,S). 4.10 The RealHousewives of New Jersey (S,HD).5.05 Millionaire Matchmaker (R,S,HD).

10.00 Fake Reaction (S,HD).7/10. With EddieEdwards, Dane Bowers,Stefan Abingdon andNikki Sanderson.

10.50 Mom (R,S,HD). 5/22.Christy befriends atroubled woman.

11.20 Dads (R,S,HD). 3/19. Elirealises he should treathis maid better.

11.45 Two and a Half Men(R,S,HD). 15/24. Miachides Charlie about hisunhealthy diet.

12.15 Two and a Half Men(R,S,HD). Alan worries about takinghis girlfriend to Jake’s party. 12.45Plebs (R,S,HD). Marcus befriends astray cat. 1.10 The Big Reunion2014 (R,S,HD). The stories ofEternal and A1. 2.05 You’ve BeenFramed! (R,S). 2.30Teleshopping. Home shopping.

BENIDORM9pm, ITVRustie Lee, The Krankies andJoan Collins guest star in theseries finale of the smash-hit,sun-kissed sitcom, which isnothing if not emotional. Joanplays the much-married CrystalHennessy-Vass, CEO of the Solana Hotel Group.

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INSPECTOR GEORGEGENTLY8.30pm, BBC1A woman’s body iswashed up beside apier, leading Gently andBacchus to question thestaff and guests of thefamily holiday camp where she worked.


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6.00 Milkshake!. 9.15 The Wright Stuff(HD). 11.10 The Hotel Inspector (R,S,HD).12.10 5 News Lunchtime (S,HD). 12.15Ben Fogle: New Lives in the Wild(R,S,HD). 1.15 Home and Away (S,HD).1.45 Neighbours (S,HD). 2.15 NCIS Partone of two. The team is ordered to protectZiva’s father. (R,S,HD). 3.15 Film: LikeMother, Like Daughter (S,HD) (2007). SeeChoices Above.●● 5.00 5 News at 5(S,HD). 5.30 Neighbours (R,S,HD).

THE KIDNAPPING OF SHERGAR8pm, Channel 5In February 1983, Epsom Derby winner Shergarwas abducted from his home at the BallymanyStud in Co Kildare by an armed gang andtaken away in a trailer – the racehorse’s fateremains a mystery. This documentary traces thelife and career of Shergar and speculates onhow the crime unfolded.

6.00 Emmerdale 6.25 CoronationStreet 6.55 You’ve Been Framed!(R,S). 7.45 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA(R,S). 8.30 Dinner Date (R,S). 9.30 TheReal Housewives of Atlanta (R,S,HD).10.30 The Real Housewives of NewJersey (R,S,HD). 11.30 MillionaireMatchmaker 12.30 Emmerdale 1.00Coronation Street (R,S,HD). 1.30You’ve Been Framed! (R,S). 2.00 TheJeremy Kyle Show (R,S). 4.10 The RealHousewives of New Jersey (S,HD).5.05 Millionaire Matchmaker (R,S,HD).


7.30 You’ve Been Framed!(R,S). 9/28. Humorousfootage, including anout-of-control rally car.

6.00 Dinner Date (R,S). 2/30.A Londoner takes partin the dating show.

8.00 Two and a Half Men(R,S,HD). 15/24.

8.30 Two and a Half Men(R,S,HD). 16/24. Alanworries about taking hisgirlfriend to Jake’sparty.

10.00 Fake Reaction (S,HD).7/10. With EddieEdwards, Dane Bowers,Stefan Abingdon andNikki Sanderson.

10.50 Mom (R,S,HD). 5/22.Christy befriends atroubled woman.

11.20 Dads (R,S,HD). 3/19. Elirealises he should treathis maid better.

11.45 Two and a Half Men(R,S,HD). 15/24. Miachides Charlie about hisunhealthy diet.

12.15 Two and a Half Men(R,S,HD). Alan worries about takinghis girlfriend to Jake’s party. 12.45Plebs (R,S,HD). Marcus befriends astray cat. 1.10 The Big Reunion2014 (R,S,HD). The stories ofEternal and A1. 2.05 You’ve BeenFramed! (R,S). 2.30Teleshopping. Home shopping.

9.00 The Big Reunion 2014(S,HD). 2/8. The stories ofgirl group Eternal andboy band A1, includingwhy the women weresilent about theiracrimonious split for 14years.




7.00 Hollyoaks (S,HD).7.30 How I Met Your

Mother (R,S,HD). 5/22.Lily and Marshall try tobe more mature.


8.30 How I Met YourMother (S,HD). 2/24.Robin discovers Jamesand Tom are getting adivorce.

10.00 The Midnight Beast(S,HD). 4/6. The boysembark on solo careers.

10.35 The IT Crowd (R,S). 4/6.Jen lies to get attention.

12.15 2 Broke Girls (R,S,HD).12.45 Revenge (R,S,HD). 1.45 TheIT Crowd (R,S). 2.10 8 Out of 10Cats (R,S,HD). 2.35 8 Out of 10Cats (R,S,HD). 3.05 The RickyGervais Show (R,S,HD). 3.30 TheRicky Gervais Show (R,S,HD).3.55 Glee (R,S,HD). 4.50 UglyBetty (R,S,HD).

9.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine(S,HD). 5/22. A detectivetries to steal Jake’sthunder.

9.30 The Inbetweeners(R,S). 4/6. The gang visitsa university.


6.30 The Simpsons (R,S).3/22. Blood-curdlingtales of terror.

6.00 Inside Gatwick (R,S,HD).7.00 Dog the Bounty Hunter(R,S). 8.00 Modern Family(R,S,HD). 9.00 Futurama (R,S).10.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD).2.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD).Kono’s former surfing mentor ismurdered. 3.00 The Simpsons(R,S,HD). 3.30 Futurama (R,S). 4.30The Simpsons (R,S,HD). 5.30Modern Family (R,S,HD).


7.30 The Simpsons (R,S).15/22. Homer gets a newwife.

7.55 Cheaper By the Dozen(S) (2003). See ChoicesAbove.●●

10.00 Ross Kemp: ExtremeWorld (R,S,HD). 4/6. SeeChoices Above.

12.00 A League of Their Own(R,S,HD). With Micky Flanagan,Gabby Logan and Jessica Ennis-Hill.1.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD). 2.00Brit Cops: Law & Disorder (R,S).3.00 Road Wars (R,S). 4.00 InsideGatwick (R,S,HD). 5.00 AirlineUSA (R,S,HD). 5.30 Airline USA(R,S,HD).

11.00 A League of TheirOwn (R,S,HD). 4/11.With Jermain Defoe, ZoeBall and John Bishop.

9.50 Futurama: Welcome tothe World ofTomorrow (R,S,HD).Behind the scenes of theanimated series.

6.20 Last of the SummerWine (S). 11/11. Tom’sniece disappears.


7.00 Only Fools and Horses(S). Del and Rodney havea festive night out.

7.40 Only Fools and Horses(S). 2/7. Del tries to sell apair of antique urns.

8.20 dinnerladies (S). 4/6.Philippa has a brightidea for raising spirits.

10.20 Gavin & Stacey (S). 3/8.Smithy and Nessa visitthe hospital for theirfirst ultrasound scan.

11.00 The League ofGentlemen (S). 3/6.


12.20 Gavin & Stacey (S). Thehappy couple return from theirhoneymoon. 1.00 Gavin & Stacey(S). Gavin sets out to help Smithyaccept his responsibilities. 1.30Gavin & Stacey (S). 2.00 TheLeague of Gentlemen (S). 2.30The Smell of Reeves andMortimer (S). 3.00 Close

9.00 Gavin & Stacey (S). 1/8.The happy couple returnfrom their honeymoon.

9.40 Gavin & Stacey (S). 2/8.Gavin sets out to helpSmithy accept hisresponsibilities.

6.00 Ringside (HD). Boxingmagazine.

6.00 Good Morning Sports Fans(HD). 8.00 Sky Sports CricketGold (HD). Shane Warne reveals thesecrets behind a leg-spin delivery.8.30 Live Test Cricket (HD). SouthAfrica v Australia. Coverage of thesecond day of the First Test atSuperSport Park in Centurion,where the three-match seriescontinues. 4.00 Boots ’n’ All (HD).5.00 FL72 Preview. fixtures.

7.00 Premier League World(HD). A round-up of thelatest news.

7.30 Live Super League(HD). WarringtonWolvesv St Helens (Kick-off8.00pm). Coverage of theopening match of theseason for both clubs,held at the HalliwellJones Stadium.

11.00 Football Gold (S,HD).11.15 Football Gold (S,HD).11.30 Premier League World

(HD).

12.00 Super League (HD).WarringtonWolves v St Helens. 1.00Premier League Darts (HD).Action from the second round ofthe season at the BIC inBournemouth. 4.30 Ringside (HD).Boxing magazine. 5.30 TheFantasy Football Club (HD).

10.00 Ringside (HD). Boxingmagazine, includinghighlights of recentbouts and interviewswith the stars.

Fake Reaction, 10pm Brooklyn Nine-Nine, 9pm Ross Kemp ... 10pm Gavin & Stacey, 9pm Live Test Cricket, 8.30am

BENIDORM9pm, ITVRustie Lee, The Krankies andJoan Collins guest star in theseries finale of the smash-hit,sun-kissed sitcom, which isnothing if not emotional. Joanplays the much-married CrystalHennessy-Vass, CEO of the Solana Hotel Group.

ROSS KEMP: EXTREME WORLD10pm, Sky1Ross visits the Middle East, where Lebanon ison the brink of civil war. In Tripoli, SunniMuslims are fighting Shia Muslim Alawites ina battle that mirrors the war in neighbouringSyria. Their frontline is a mile-long street, thebuildings on each side riddled with bulletholes. Ross visits both sides of the conflict.

11.10 8 Out of 10 Cats(R,S,HD). 6/10.

11.45 8 Out of 10 Cats(R,S,HD). 7/10. With JoBrand, Nick Helm,Jordan Stephens andLouis Walsh.

7.00 Total Wipeout(R,S). Adventuregame show,hosted by RichardHammond andAmanda Byram.

8.00 Motorway Cops(R,S). Trafficpolice enforce thelaw on Britain’smost dangeroushighways.

9.00 Tough YoungTeachers (S,HD).The traineesapproach the endof their firstacademic year.Last in the series.

10.00 Ja’mie: PrivateSchool Girl(S,HD).

10.30 EastEnders(R,S,HD).

11.00 Family Guy (R,S).11.25 Family Guy (R,S).11.45 American Dad!

(R,S).12.10 American Dad!(R,S,HD). 12.30 Ja’mie:Private School Girl(R,S,HD). 12.55 Uncle(R,S,HD). 1.25 ToughYoung Teachers (R,S,HD).2.25 Live at the Electric(R,S,HD). 2.55 ToughYoung Teachers (R,S,HD).

7.00 World NewsToday (HD);Weather.

7.30 The Sky at Night(R).

8.00 Ever DecreasingCircles (R).

8.30 Britain on Film:End of Empire(R).

9.00 The Brits WhoBuilt theModern World(HD).

10.00 Horizon:Asteroids – TheGood, the Badand the Ugly(R,HD).

11.00 Dreaming theImpossible:Unbuilt Britain(R,HD).

12.00 The Life of Rockwith Brian Pern (R,HD).12.30 The Sky at Night(R,HD). 1.00 EverDecreasing Circles (R).1.30 Britain on Film: Endof Empire (R). 2.00Horizon: Asteroids – TheGood, the Bad and theUgly (R,HD). 3.00 The BritsWho Built the ModernWorld (R).

CHEAPER BY THEDOZEN7.55pm, Sky1A couple with 12 childrenplan to make a freshstart in a new town, butnothing goes accordingto plan. comedy, withSteve Martin.

LIKE MOTHER, LIKEDAUGHTER3.15pm, Channel 5A woman searching forher missing daughterreceives help from aprofessor. Thriller, withMichelle Stafford andWilliam R Moses.


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6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 9.15 WantedDown Under Revisited (S,HD). 10.00Homes Under the Hammer (R,S,HD).11.00 Bargain Hunt (R,S). 12.00 LiveWinter Olympics (S,HD). 1.00 BBC News;Weather (S,HD). 1.30 Regional News (S);Weather. 1.45 Doctors (S,HD). 2.15 WPC56 (S,HD). 3.00 Perfection (R,S). 3.45Escape to the Country (R,S,HD). 4.30 PutYour Money Where Your Mouth Is(S,HD). 5.15 Pointless (R,S,HD).

7.00 The One Show (S,HD). Hostedby Chris Evans and Alex Jones.

7.30 A Question of Sport (R,S,HD).With Leon Osman and ShaunMurphy. Followed by BBCNews; Regional News.


8.00 EastEnders (S,HD). Ian finallyconfronts Denise.

8.30 Room 101 (S,HD). 4/8. WithVernon Kay, Kelly Hoppen andMiles Jupp.

9.00 New Tricks (R,S). 1/10. Theteam reopens the case of amurdered palaeontologist,digging up a host of suspectsafter learning he was opposedto his museum’s dealings with afuel company.


by National Lottery Update.10.35 The Graham Norton Show

(S,HD). 17/21. See ChoicesAbove.

11.25 Pound Shop Wars (R,S,HD).2/4. Poundworld opens a newstore in Peterborough.

11.55 EastEnders (S,HD). Omnibus.


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6.00 Daybreak (S,HD). 8.30 Lorraine (S).9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show (S,HD). 10.30This Morning (S). 12.30 Loose Women(S,HD). Panellists include Jamelia and SherrieHewson. 1.30 ITV News and Weather (S).1.55 ITV News West Country (S). 2.00Dickinson’s Real Deal (S,HD). 3.00 TheAlan Titchmarsh Show (S,HD). 3.59Regional Programme (S). 4.00 Britain’sBest Bakery (S,HD). 5.00 The Chase(S,HD).

6.25 Countdown (R,S,HD). 7.10 Will &Grace (R,S,HD). 8.00 Everybody LovesRaymond (R,S). 9.00 Frasier (R,S). 10.00Undercover Boss Canada (S). 11.00 SarahBeeny’s Selling Houses (R,S,HD). 12.00Channel 4 News Midday Summary (S).12.05 Jamie’s 15 Minute Meals (R,S,HD).12.35 Come Dine with Me: Ireland (R,S).3.10 Countdown (S,HD). 4.00 Deal or NoDeal: Love HQ (S,HD). 5.00 Come Dinewith Me (S,HD). 5.30 Coach Trip (S).

6.00 Milkshake!. 9.15 The Wright Stuff(HD). 11.10 The Hotel Inspector (R,S,HD).12.10 5 News Lunchtime (S,HD). 12.15Police Interceptors (R,S,HD). Sgt Carlinuncovers a major criminal operation. 1.15Home and Away (S,HD). 1.45 Neighbours(S,HD). 2.15 NCIS (R,S,HD). 3.15 Film:Taking a Chance on Love (S) (2009).Romantic drama, starring Genie Francis.●●● 5.00 5 News at 5 (S,HD). 5.30Neighbours (R,S,HD).

7.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). Dianedecides to visit a doctor withher concerns.

7.30 Coronation Street (S,HD).Tina secretly arranges to spendthe evening with Peter.


6.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 12/20. Thegreatest love stories of all time.

6.30 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Gracebecomes suspicious of Fraser’sattachment to Tegan.

6.00 Home and Away (R,S,HD).Nate persuades Ricky to take apregnancy test.



Weather.10.35 The Americans (R,S,HD). 8/13.

Philip and Elizabeth must stopan assassin from killing severalUS scientists involved in theAmerican missile-defenceprogramme, and devise a planto get the FBI’s help.

12.25 Jackpot247. Interactive gaming.3.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (S). Thehost takes his successful talk show stateside.3.40 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA (S). Thehost takes his successful talk show stateside.4.25 ITV Nightscreen (HD). Text-basedinformation service.


8.00 Jamie and Jimmy’s FridayNight Feast (S,HD). 6/6. SeeChoices Above.

9.00 Peter Kay: Live & Back onNights! Part Two (S,HD). 2/2.Part two of two. The comedianprovides a behind-the-sceneslook at his 18 months on theroad throughout 2010 and2011, playing 140 stand-upshows for 1.2 million fans.

10.00 The Last Leg (S,HD). 3/8. Acomic review of the past sevendays.

10.50 Brooklyn Nine-Nine (S,HD).5/22. A detective steals Jake’sthunder.

12.55 The Simpsons (R,S). 1.15 RandomActs (S,HD). 1.20 According to Jim(S,HD). 1.45 Happy Endings (S,HD). 2.05Franklin & Bash (S,HD). 2.50 Boss (S,HD).3.45 Stonehouse Reunion (R,S). 3.50Location, Location, Location (R,S,HD).4.50 Baking Mad with Eric Lanlard(R,S,HD). 5.15 Deal or No Deal: Love HQ(R,S,HD).

7.00World’s Toughest Prison(R,S,HD). Followed by 5 NewsUpdate.

8.00 Ice Road Truckers (S,HD). Alexhas to cross the frozen delta ofthe Mackenzie River as hedelivers snowmobiles to avillage in the north. Rick makesa foolish mistake that putshimself and Hugh in danger.Followed by 5 News at 9.

9.00 Ben Fogle: New Lives in theWild (S,HD). 3/4. See ChoicesAbove.

11.00 Street Crime UK: Caught onCamera (R,S,HD). 3/6. The useof CCTV to fight crime.

10.00World’s Scariest AnimalAttacks (R,S,HD). 2/4. Terrifyinganimal encounters caught oncamera, including the momentsharks turned on a free-divingfather and son, and a 500lbelephant seal that reactedviolently when intimidated.

12.00 SuperCasino. Live interactivegaming. 3.05 Ultimate EmergencyBikers (R,S,HD). An elderly couple aretrapped in their car following a pile-up onthe A13. 3.55 House Doctor (R,S). FromScraptoft, Leicester. 4.20 House Doctor(R,S). A basement flat in north London. 4.45Great Scientists (R,S). 5.10 Wildlife SOS(R,S). 5.35 Wildlife SOS (R,S).

6.00 This Is BBC Two (S). Preview ofupcoming programmes. 6.45 LiveWinter Olympics (S,HD). Coverage onday seven of the Games in Russia. 12.00Daily Politics (S). Parliamentary report.1.00 Live Winter Olympics (S,HD).Further coverage of day seven of theGames in Russia. 3.40 Live WinterOlympics (S,HD). Skeleton, curling andfigure skating coverage on day seven inRussia.

7.10Winter Olympics: Today atthe Games (S,HD). ClareBalding introduces highlightsfrom day seven in Russia.

8.00Mastermind (S,HD). 23/31. SeeChoices Above.

8.30 An Island Parish (S,HD). 5/6.Members of the volunteer firebrigade take part in a trainingweekend.

9.00Mock the Week Looks Backat Health (S). 1/10. A selectionfrom the show’s archives on thetheme of health.

9.30 QI (R,S,HD). 18/18. With JeremyClarkson, Jason Manford andSandi Toksvig.

10.00 Alan Davies Apres-Ski (S,HD).2/3. The comedian and hisguests give their take on thelatest from Sochi.

10.30 Newsnight (S,HD).

11.00Weather (S).11.05 Before Sunrise (S,HD) (1995).

See Choices Above.●●●●

11.35 Benidorm (R,S,HD). 7/7. TheCEO of the Solana Hotel Group(Joan Collins) pays a visit. Lastin the series.

11.20 The Naked Gun: From theFiles of Police Squad! (S,HD)(1988). Comedy, starring LeslieNielsen. See Choices Above.●●●●●

12.40 Sign Zone: Question Time (R,S).1.40 Sign Zone: Inspire: The OlympicJourney (R,S). 2.10 Sign Zone: SteveMcQueen: Are You SittingUncomfortably? – A Culture ShowSpecial (R,S). 3.10 This Is BBC Two (S).Preview of upcoming programmes. 5.00Live Winter Olympics (S,HD). Coverage ofthe opening events on day eight in Russia.

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8.00 Student Nurses: Bedpansand Bandages (S,HD). 1/8.New series. The lives of traineenurses in Birmingham andManchester.

8.30 Coronation Street (S,HD).Gloria tells Rita she spent thenight with Dennis.

9.00 Piers Morgan’s Life Stories:Ian Botham (S,HD). 7/7. SeeChoices Above.

The Graham Norton Show, 10.35pm Mastermind, 8pm The Americans, 10.35pm Peter Kay: Live & Back… 9pm Ice Road Truckers, 8pm

PIERS MORGAN’SLIFE STORIES: IANBOTHAM, 9pm, ITVThe former cricketerjoins Piers to discussthe highs and lows ofhis life and career asone of Britain’s mostsuccessful and controversial sportsmen.

MASTERMIND8pm, BBC2John Humphrys invites four more contestants totake their place in the black chair, where theyanswer questions on punk music between 1976and 1979, the history of Rhodesia from 1965-1980, the plays of Samuel Beckett and Frenchwines of the Rhone valley. They then have achance to demonstrate their general knowledge.

JAMIE AND JIMMY’SFRIDAY NIGHT FEAST8pm, Channel 4Jennifer Saunders preparesclassic Italian porchetta forher husband AdrianEdmondson, and DexterFletcher makes Mexicantortillas with salsa. Last in the series.

THE GRAHAM NORTON SHOW10.35pm, BBC1Graham’s guests include Hollywood actorMatt Damon, Downton Abbey’s HughBonneville and Jean Dujardin (The Artist),who star in George Clooney’s new SecondWorld War movie The Monuments Men.Paloma Faith provides the music, performingher new single Can’t Rely on You.


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6.00 Milkshake!. 9.15 The Wright Stuff(HD). 11.10 The Hotel Inspector (R,S,HD).12.10 5 News Lunchtime (S,HD). 12.15Police Interceptors (R,S,HD). Sgt Carlinuncovers a major criminal operation. 1.15Home and Away (S,HD). 1.45 Neighbours(S,HD). 2.15 NCIS (R,S,HD). 3.15 Film:Taking a Chance on Love (S) (2009).Romantic drama, starring Genie Francis.●●● 5.00 5 News at 5 (S,HD). 5.30Neighbours (R,S,HD).

6.00 Home and Away (R,S,HD).Nate persuades Ricky to take apregnancy test.


8.00 Ice Road Truckers (S,HD). Alexhas to cross the frozen delta ofthe Mackenzie River as hedelivers snowmobiles to avillage in the north. Rick makesa foolish mistake that putshimself and Hugh in danger.Followed by 5 News at 9.

9.00 Ben Fogle: New Lives in theWild (S,HD). 3/4. See ChoicesAbove.

11.00 Street Crime UK: Caught onCamera (R,S,HD). 3/6. The useof CCTV to fight crime.

10.00World’s Scariest AnimalAttacks (R,S,HD). 2/4. Terrifyinganimal encounters caught oncamera, including the momentsharks turned on a free-divingfather and son, and a 500lbelephant seal that reactedviolently when intimidated.

12.00 SuperCasino. Live interactivegaming. 3.05 Ultimate EmergencyBikers (R,S,HD). An elderly couple aretrapped in their car following a pile-up onthe A13. 3.55 House Doctor (R,S). FromScraptoft, Leicester. 4.20 House Doctor(R,S). A basement flat in north London. 4.45Great Scientists (R,S). 5.10 Wildlife SOS(R,S). 5.35 Wildlife SOS (R,S).

THE GRAHAM NORTON SHOW10.35pm, BBC1Graham’s guests include Hollywood actorMatt Damon, Downton Abbey’s HughBonneville and Jean Dujardin (The Artist),who star in George Clooney’s new SecondWorld War movie The Monuments Men.Paloma Faith provides the music, performingher new single Can’t Rely on You.

6.00 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 6.55 You’veBeen Framed! (R,S). 7.45 The JeremyKyle Show USA (R,S). 8.30 DinnerDate (R,S). 9.30 The Real Housewivesof Atlanta (R,S,HD). 10.30 The RealHousewives of New Jersey (R,S,HD).11.30 Millionaire Matchmaker(R,S,HD). 12.30 Emmerdale (R,S,HD).1.30 You’ve Been Framed! (R,S). 2.00The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S). 4.10 TheReal Housewives of New Jersey(S,HD). 5.05 Millionaire Matchmaker(R,S,HD).

7.00 You’ve Been Framed!Calendar Special (R,S).Harry Hill delves into thearchive and comes upwith a whole year ofmerry mishaps.

6.00 Dinner Date (R,S).15/30. Londoner Felicialooks for love.

8.00 Two and a Half Men(R,S,HD). 17/24. Charlieis nominated for anadvertising award.

8.30 Two and a Half Men(R,S,HD). 18/24. Alanfinds himself in afinancial crisis.

Including FYI Daily.●●●●

12.10 Two and a Half Men(R,S,HD). Charlie is nominated foran advertising award. 12.40 Twoand a Half Men (R,S,HD). 1.10Dads (R,S,HD). 1.35 Mom (R,S,HD).2.00 You’ve Been Framed! (R,S).2.20 Teleshopping. Homeshopping. 5.50 ITV2 Nightscreen(HD). 5.55 ITV2 Nightscreen (HD).

9.00 Bridget Jones’s Diary(S,HD) (2001). A womanbegins a new year byresolving to find loveand give up her badhabits. Romantic comedybased on HelenFielding’s novel, withRenee Zellweger, HughGrant and Colin Firth.




7.00 Hollyoaks (S,HD).7.30 The Big Bang Theory

(R,S,HD). 3/24. Thefriends compete in ascavenger hunt.

8.00 Troy (R,S). 1/6. Amagician uses everydayobjects and situations tobaffle and amazemembers of the public.

12.10 Rude Tube: Extreme Rides(R,S,HD). 1.15 The MidnightBeast (R,S,HD). 1.50 PhoneShop(R,S,HD). 2.15 Cardinal Burns(R,S,HD). 2.40 Celebrity Bedlam(R,S,HD). 3.05 Rude Tube:Extreme Rides (R,S,HD). 3.55Glee (R,S,HD). 4.40 Ugly Betty(R,S,HD).


6.30 The Simpsons (R,S).22/23. With the voice ofStephen Hawking.

6.00 Inside Gatwick (R,S,HD).7.00 Dog the Bounty Hunter(R,S). 8.00 Modern Family(R,S,HD). 9.00 Futurama (R,S).10.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R,S,HD).2.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R,S,HD).McGarrett tries to resolve a hostagecrisis. 3.00 The Simpsons (R,S,HD).3.30 Futurama (R,S). 4.30 TheSimpsons (R,S). 5.30 ModernFamily (R,S,HD).

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S).2/22. The town’sgraveyard is moved.

7.30 The Simpsons (R,S).14/23. With the guestvoice of Elton John.

8.00Modern Family(R,S,HD). 11/24. Manny’sbiological father visits.

8.30Modern Family(R,S,HD). 12/24. Mitchelland Cameron hire aHispanic gardener.

10.00 Duck Quacks Don’tEcho (S,HD). 2/8. LeeMack hosts the comedypanel game in whichactress Olivia Colman,funnyman Rhod Gilbertand baking king PaulHollywood come upwith all manner ofamazing facts.

12.00 A League of Their Own(R,HD). With Jermain Defoe, ZoeBall and John Bishop. 1.00 HawaiiFive-0 (R,S,HD). 2.00 Brit Cops:Law & Disorder (R,S). 3.00 RoadWars (R,S). 4.00 Inside Gatwick(R,S,HD). 5.00 Airline USA(R,S,HD). 5.30 Airline USA(R,S,HD).

11.00 A League of TheirOwn (R,HD). 5/11. WithDavid Walliams, MoFarah and Clare Balding.

9.00 Stella (S,HD). 4/10. Atruce is called whenStella lets Michael useher shower, although hesoon regrets accepting.Emma crosses the linewith boss Marcus andBrenda’s Buses makes itsmaiden voyage.

6.20 Last of the SummerWine (S). 2/11. Howard’sunderpants go missing.


7.00 Only Fools and Horses(S). 1/7. Rodney falls fora policewoman.

7.40 Only Fools and Horses(S). 4/7. Rodney finds agirlfriend.

8.20 dinnerladies (S). 6/6.Bren is left to run thenight shift.

10.20 Fawlty Towers (S). 6/6.Manuel’s pet rat escapes.

11.10 The League ofGentlemen (S). 4/6.Guest starring LaurenceLlewelyn-Bowen.


12.30 Fawlty Towers (S). A partyof German guests comes to stay.1.10 Fawlty Towers (S). Sybilwalks out on Basil. 1.40 FawltyTowers (S). Manuel’s pet ratescapes. 2.15 The League ofGentlemen (S). Guest starringLaurence Llewelyn-Bowen. 3.00Close

9.00 Fawlty Towers (S). 6/6.A party of German guestscomes to stay.

9.40 Fawlty Towers (S). 5/6.Sybil walks out on Basil.

7.00 Great MovieMistakes:Revenge of theFifth (R,S).

7.25 Doctor Who(R,S,HD). Claraand the Doctorinvestigate ahaunted housemystery.

8.10 Doctor Who(R,S,HD). Clara istrapped in themalfunctioningTardis.

9.00 Enemy of theState (S,HD)(1998). Thriller,starring WillSmith.●●●●



11.50 Live at theElectric(S,HD).

12.20 American Dad!(R,S). 12.40 AmericanDad! (R,S,HD). 1.00 SexyBeasts (R,S,HD). 2.00Uncle (R,S,HD). 2.30 Sun,Sex and SuspiciousParents: Thailand(R,S,HD). 3.30 Live at theElectric (R,S,HD).


7.30 TransatlanticSessions (R,HD).

8.00 Sound ofCinema: TheMusic ThatMade theMovies (R,HD).Exploring howgreat filmsoundtrackswork.

9.00 Neil Sedaka:King of Song(HD). Adocumentaryportrait of the USmusician’s lifeand career.

10.00 Neil SedakaSays: All YouNeed Is theMusic (R).

10.45 Kings of Rock’n’ Roll (R). Fiftiesrock heroes.

11.45 Even MoreGuitar Heroes atthe BBC (R).

12.45 Neil Sedaka: Kingof Song (R,HD). 1.45 NeilSedaka Says: All YouNeed Is the Music (R).2.35 Kings of Rock ’n’Roll (R).

6.00 Champions LeagueWeekly (HD). A lookahead to the last 16.

6.30 The Fantasy FootballClub (HD).

6.00 Good Morning Sports Fans(HD). 8.00 Premier League World(HD). A round-up of the latest news.8.30 Live Test Cricket (HD). SouthAfrica v Australia. Coverage of thethird day of the First Test atSuperSport Park in Centurion,where the three-match seriescontinues. 4.00 FL72 Preview. Alook ahead to the latest round offixtures. 5.00 Ringside (HD).

7.30 Live Super League(HD). Hull FC v CatalanDragons (Kick-off8.00pm). EddieHemmings and MikeStephenson presentcoverage of the openingmatch of the season forboth sides, held at the KCStadium.

11.00 Champions LeagueWeekly (HD).

11.30 One2Eleven: GerardPique and Neil Lennon(HD).

11.45 One2Eleven: Larssonand Baresi (HD).

12.00 Super League (HD). 1.00The Fantasy Football Club (HD).2.00 Champions League Weekly(HD). 2.30 One2Eleven (HD). 3.00Super League (HD). 4.00 TheFantasy Football Club (HD). 5.00Champions League Weekly (HD).5.30 One2Eleven (HD).

10.00 The Fantasy FootballClub (HD). John Fendleyand Paul Merson presenta discussion on keyfantasy football issues, aswell as the weekend’sPremier League matches.

Bridget Jones’s Diary, 9pm Beverly Hills Cop, 9pm Stella, 9pm Only Fools and Horses, 7pm Live Test Cricket, 8.30am

BEFORE SUNRISE11.05pm, BBC2An American and aFrenchwoman meet bychance on a train andform a close bondduring a day in Vienna.Riomantic drama,starring Ethan Hawke.

THE NAKED GUN:FROM THE FILES OFPOLICE SQUAD!11.20pm, Channel 4A disaster-pronedetective uncovers a plotto assassinate QueenElizabeth II during a visitto Los Angeles.

BEN FOGLE: NEW LIVESIN THE WILD9pm, Channel 5Ben journeys to a remotepart of Leyte in thePhilippines to spend timewith a 45-year-old formertaxi driver from Florida, whois now a coconut farmer.

TAKE ME OUT11pm, ITV2The love lift delivers a disco-dancing bachelor,a Manchester student, and a stockbroker anda nanny, all of whom are hoping to land adate with one of 30 single women on the Isleof Fernandos. However, to have any chance ofsucceeding, they must ensure the femaleparticipants keep their lights on.


11.40 How I Met YourMother (R,S,HD). 6/22.Ted searches for a girl hemet at a party.


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11.00 Take Me Out (R,S,HD).6/8. See Choices Above.

9.00 Beverly Hills Cop(S,HD) (1984). A Detroitcop goes to Los Angelesto track down the killersof his friend, who areworking for anuntouchable drugkingpin. Comedy thriller,with Eddie Murphy andJudge Reinhold.●●●●

FRIDAY

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Homes&Living

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6.00 Milkshake! 9.40 Inside Hollywood2013 (R). 9.45 The Dog Rescuers (R,S,HD).10.15 Michael Buble’s Christmas Special(R,S,HD). 11.15 Film: Fiddler on the Roof(S,HD). (1971) Musical, starring Topol.●●●●● 2.50 Film: Pal Joey (S,HD). (1957)Musical comedy, starring Frank Sinatra.●●● 5.00 Film: Seven Brides for SevenBrothers (S) (1954). Musical Western,starring Howard Keel;●●●●● 5 NewsUpdate.

8.00World’s Strongest Man 2013(S,HD). 11/11. James Richardsonpresents the final from HaitangBay in Sanya, China, featuringthe 10 qualifiers from the heats.Last in the series.

11.50 The Plank (S). (1967) Twoclumsy workmen carry a plankto a building site, causingvarious mishaps and accidentsalong the way. Slapstickcomedy, directed by andstarring Eric Sykes.●●●

12.55 SuperCasino Live interactivegaming. 3.05 Celebrity Wedding Planner(S,HD). Helen Flanagan and Hugo Taylorplan a couple’s wedding. 3.55 HouseDoctor (R,S). 4.20 House Doctor (R,S).4.45 Great Artists (R,S). 5.10 GreatScientists (R,S). 5.35 Wildlife SOS (R,S).

TWO DOORS DOWN9pm, BBC1Arabella Weir and Alex Norton star in thisone-off comedy about Scottish couple Ericand Beth Baird, who are throwing aHogmanay party for a selection of familyand friends, including Norwegian neighboursHenning and Nina and aspirationalacquaintances Colin and Cathy.

6.00 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 6.25Coronation Street (R,S,HD). 7.25 You’veBeen Framed: Top 100 Animals (R,S). 8.15The Xtra Factor Winner’s Story (2013)(R,S). 9.15 I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out ofHere Now! Trials and Tribulations(R,S,HD). 10.20 Film: What a Girl Wants(S,HD) (2003).●● 12.30 Emmerdale(R,S,HD). 1.00 Coronation Street (R,S,HD).2.05 You’ve Been Framed! (R,S). 2.40Film: Beethoven’s 2nd (S,HD) (1993).●●●4.30 Film: Star Wars: Episode VI – Returnof the Jedi (S,HD) (1983).●●●●

7.10Mr Bean’s Holiday(S,HD) (2007). Thebumbling fool wins atrip to France in thechurch raffle, only tocause chaos when he isaccused of kidnapping ayoungster. Comedy,starring RowanAtkinson andWillemDafoe.●●

11.25 Celebrity Juice(R,S,HD). 5/13. Withteam captains HollyWilloughby and PhillipSchofield.

12.10 Celebrity Juice (R,S,HD).1.40 Celebrity Juice: X FactorSpecial (R,S,HD). 2.25 TotallyBonkers Guinness WorldRecords (R,S,HD). 2.50 TotallyBonkers Guinness WorldRecords (R,S,HD). 3.15 FoolBritannia (R,S,HD). 3.40 TheJeremy Kyle Show USA (R,S).

9.00 Hot Fuzz (S,HD) (2007).A zealous policeman isrelocated to a sleepycountry village, where aseries of grisly so-calledaccidents arouses hissuspicions. Actioncomedy, starring SimonPegg and Nick Frost.●●●●



6.55 Hollyoaks (S,HD).

6.25 90210 (R,S,HD). 7.10 UglyBetty (R,S,HD). 8.00 Charmed(R,S). 9.00 Glee (R,S,HD). 10.00Hollyoaks (R,S,HD). 11.10 Film:Astro Boy (S,HD) (2009).●●●1.00 How I Met Your Mother(R,S,HD). 2.00 The Big BangTheory (R,S,HD). 2.55 Film: MeetDave (S,HD) (2008).●● 4.40Rude(ish) Tube (R,S). 5.05 How IMet Your Mother (R,S,HD).

7.30 How I Met YourMother (R,S,HD). 11/22.Ted searches for the bestNew Year’s Eve party inNew York.

8.00 The Big Bang Theory:Viewer’s Choice (R,S).A Top 5 countdown ofthe show’s episodes.

8.30 The Big Bang Theory:Viewer’s Choice (R,S).The fourth-placedepisode.

10.00 The Big Bang Theory:Viewer’s Choice (R,S).The most popularepisode.

10.30 The Inbetweeners(R,S). 2/6. The four ladsplay truant.

12.05 Rude Tube 2012 (R,S,HD). Acountdown of the 100 mostpopular videos on the internet.2.10 Rude Tube: Welcome to2013 (R,S,HD). Alex Zane presents100 memorable internet clips. 3.55The Cleveland Show (R,S,HD).4.15 Glee (R,S,HD). 5.00 UglyBetty (R,S,HD).

9.00 The Big Bang Theory:Viewer’s Choice (R,S).The third-placedepisode.

9.30 The Big Bang Theory:Viewer’s Choice (R,S).The episode voted therunner-up in the onlinepoll.


6.30 The Simpsons (R,S).1/22. Homer meets MelGibson.

6.00 The Middle (R,S,HD). 7.00Yonderland (R,S,HD). 8.00 Sinbad(R,S,HD). 9.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 9.30Johnny Vegas’s Little Cracker (R,S,HD).9.45 Alan Davies’s Little Cracker(R,S,HD). 10.00 Glee (R,S,HD). 12.00 TheSimpsons (R,S,HD). 12.30 ModernFamily (R,S,HD). 1.30 The Middle(R,S,HD). 2.30 Yonderland (R,S,HD). 3.30The Simpsons (R,S). 4.00 Sinbad(R,S,HD). 5.00 The Simpsons (R,S,HD).5.30 Modern Family (R,S,HD).

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S).17/22. Guest starringRichard Dean Anderson.


8.00Modern Family(R,S,HD). 11/24. Thefamilies visit PalmSprings to celebrate thenew year.


10.00 Karl Pilkington: TheMoaning of Life(R,S,HD). 2/5. KarlPilkington tries to findout how people achievehappiness.

10.55 Karl Pilkington: TheMoaning of Life(R,S,HD). 3/5.

12.15 An Idiot Abroad 3 (R,S,HD).1.10 Spartacus: Blood and Sand(R,S,HD). 2.20 A League of TheirOwn: Unseen (R,S,HD). 3.10 RoadWars (R,S,HD). 4.00 SheridanSmith’s Little Cracker (R,S,HD).4.15 Shappi Khorsandi’s LittleCracker (R,S,HD). 4.30 LutonAirport (R,S). 5.00 Airline

11.55 New Year FireworksLive (HD). The annualdisplay in centralLondon.

9.00 Karl Pilkington: TheMoaning of Life(R,S,HD). 1/5. KarlPilkington answersimportant life questions,beginning with therelevance of marriagetoday.

6.15 Stuart Little (1999).Comedy adventure, withthe voice of Michael JFox.●●●●

6.05 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. 7.55Open All Hours (S). 8.35 Porridge(S). 9.15 The Vicar of Dibley (S).9.55 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. 11.55Only Fools and Horses (S). 1.35You, Me & Them (S). 2.15 OpenAll Hours (S). 2.55 Porridge (S).3.35 The Vicar of Dibley (S). 4.15Harry Hill’s TV Burp. 4.45 HarryHill’s Christmas TV Burp. 5.15Harry Hill’s TV Burp.

8.00 The Two RonniesSketchbook. 6/7. MessrsCorbett and Barkerreunite behind theirfamous desk toreminisce aboutsketches.

10.20 You, Me & Them (S).6/6. Lauren questionsher future with Ed.

11.00 Gimme GimmeGimme (S). 6/6. Lindaand Tom land new jobs.

11.40 Absolutely Fabulous(S). 2/3. Edina tries towin Saffy’s respect.

12.20 Miranda (S). A handsomeman leaves his wallet in the shop.1.00 Not Going Out (S). Lee plansto spend time alone with Lucy atChristmas. 1.30 Gimme GimmeGimme (S). 2.00 The Two RonniesSketchbook. Featuring aperformance by Katie Melua. 2.50Rex the Runt. 3.00 Close

9.00Miranda (S). 6/6. Ahandsome man leaves hiswallet in the shop.

9.40 Not Going Out (S). 8/8.Lee plans to spend timealone with Lucy atChristmas.

6.00 Rugby Union (HD). Thebest tries of 2013.

6.30 Goles Y Goles Y Goles(HD). Action from LaLiga.

6.00 Good Morning Sports Fans(HD). 9.00 FL72 Review. 10.00Scottish Football (HD). 11.00Soccer AM: The Best Bits (HD).12.00 FL72 Review. A round-up ofrecent matches. 1.00 World PDCDarts Championship (HD). Thesemi-finals at the Alexandra Palacein London. 5.00 Goles Y Goles YGoles (HD). Action from La Liga.5.30 Football Gold (S,HD).

7.00 Ringside – Review ofthe Season (HD). A lookback at some of thebiggest fights of the pastsix months, whichincluded Carl Froch vGeorge Groves, KellBrook v VyacheslavSenchenko and DanielGeale v Darren Barker.

11.00 Special Report. Aprofile of cyclist ChrisFroome.

11.30 Rugby Union (HD). Thebest tries of 2013.

12.00 Ringside – Review of theSeason (HD). A look back at someof the biggest fights of the past sixmonths. 2.00 Rugby Union (HD).2.30 Goles Y Goles Y Goles (HD).3.00 The F1 Show (HD). A lookback at another thrilling season.4.00 Super League (HD). A reviewof the 2013 season.

9.00 The F1 Show (HD). Alook back at anotherthrilling season, whichbegan with SebastianVettel as the defendingchampion.

10.00 Lions Raw (HD). Behindthe scenes of the 2013British & Irish Lions tourof Australia, featuringinterviews, highlightsand access-all-areasfootage.

Hot Fuzz, 9pm The Big Bang Theory, 6pm Modern Family, 8pm Stuart Little, 6.15pm Lions Raw, 10pm

GARY BARLOW’S BIGBEN BASH LIVE11.15pm, BBC1The singer rounds off theyear with a live gig at theCentral Hall in London’sWestminster, performingTake That favourites as wellas solo numbers to help bring in the new year.

JOOLS’ ANNUAL HOOTENANNY 201311.30pm, BBC2Jools Holland presents his 21st annualHootenanny, featuring a mixture of veteranartists and modern chart stars. The line-upfeatures former Kinks frontman Ray Davies,singer-songwriter Lisa Stansfield, Edinburghduo the Proclaimers, Spice Girl Melanie Cand Jamaican vocalist Dawn Penn.

11.00 The Inbetweeners Top10 Moments (R,S). Acountdown of thecomedy show’shighlights.

7.00 Great MovieMistakes2013 (R,S,HD).

8.00 Indiana Jonesand the Templeof Doom (S,HD)(1984). SeeChoices Above.●●●●

9.50 Live at theApollo (R,S,HD).Dara O Briainpresents thecomedy showfrom theHammersmithApollo, featuringperformances byThe Inbetweenersstar Greg Daviesand Canadiancomedian StewartFrancis.


11.05 Family Guy(R,S,HD).Extended StarWars-themedepisode.


12.15 American Dad!(R,S,HD). 12.35 GreatMovie Mistakes 2013(R,S). 2.30 ImpracticalJokers (R,S,HD). 3.00Some Girls (R,S,HD).

7.00 Sir John TavenerRemembered(R,HD). A tributeto the composerwho died inNovember.

8.00 Kind Hearts andCoronets (HD)(1949). Ealingblack comedy,starring AlecGuinness.●●●●●

9.45 Rome’s LostEmpire (R,HD).Dan Snow usessatellitetechnology toreveal thesecrets ofthe RomanEmpire.

11.15 Some Scouserswith Jokes(R,HD).

11.45 Some Scouserswith Jokes(R,HD).

12.15 Some Boffins withJokes (R,HD). 12.45 SomeVicars with Jokes (R,HD).1.15 Some Vicars withJokes (R,HD). 1.45 JohnDenver at WembleyArena (R). 2.25 Sounds ofthe 70s 2 Disco – Ain’t NoStoppin’ Us Now (R). 2.55The Bridge (R,HD).

INDIANA JONESAND THE TEMPLE OFDOOM8pm, BBC3Steven Spielberg’saction adventure,starring Harrison Ford,Kate Capshaw, Ke HuyQuan and Amrish Puri.

MAMMA MIA!8pm, ITVA bride asks three ofher mother’s old flamesto her wedding to learnwhich of them is herfather. Musical comedyfeaturing Abba songs,starring Meryl Streep.


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6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 9.00 Film: The AntBully (S). (2006)●● 10.20 Film: WhoFramed Roger Rabbit (S,HD). (1988)●●●●● 11.55 Polar Bear: Spy on the Ice(R,S,HD). 12.45 The Archbishop ofCanterbury’s New Year Message (S,HD).12.50 BBC News (S,HD). 1.00 RegionalNews (S). 1.05 Gangsta Granny (R,S,HD).2.15 Film: The Sound of Music (S,HD).(1965)●●●●● 5.05 Film: Kung Fu Panda2 (S,HD). (2011)●●●●

6.25 BBC News (S,HD).6.35 Regional News (S).; Weather6.45 Gnomeo & Juliet (S,HD).

(2011) Premiere. Animatedcomedy, with the voices ofJames McAvoy and Emily Blunt.●●●

8.00 EastEnders (S,HD). Phil helpsRonnie in her battle againstCarl, Mick shocks Linda byannouncing they have beeninvited to their daughter’swedding and Tina creeps outafter her night with Billy.

9.00 Sherlock (S,HD). 1/3. SeeChoices Above.

10.25 BBC News (S,HD).10.40 Regional News (S).; Weather10.50Match of the Day (S,HD). Gary

Lineker presents PremierLeague highlights, includingManchester United vTottenham Hotspur at OldTrafford and Southampton vChelsea at St Mary’s Stadium.Followed by National LotteryUpdate.

12.20 The Graham Norton Show(R,S,HD). With the stars of Anchorman 2and the Monty Python team. 1.20Weatherview (S). 1.25 BBC News (S,HD).

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6.00 CITV 8.25 Dinner Date (R,S). 9.25Murder, She Wrote (R,S,HD). 10.25 Film:Columbo Goes to College (S). (1991)●●●12.20 Dickinson’s Real Deal (R,S,HD). 1.25ITV News (S).; Weather 1.50 Film: UncleBuck (S,HD). (1989) Family comedy, starringJohn Candy.●●● 3.40 50 Greatest HarryPotter Moments (R,S,HD). Robbie Coltranenarrates a countdown of the moviefranchise’s best scenes. 5.40 TheIllusionists (R,S,HD).

6.05 According to Jim (HD). 6.30 Will &Grace 7.00 Film: Freaky Friday (HD).(1976)●●●● 8.50 How I Met YourMother (HD). 9.50 The Big Bang Theory(HD). 10.20 Film: Planet 51 (HD). (2009)●●● 12.05 Deal or No Deal (HD). Gameshow, with Noel Edmonds. 1.05 Channel 4Racing Live coverage from Cheltenham andMusselburgh. 3.40 The Simpsons Lisa getsher own TV show. 4.10 Film: Big (HD).(1988) Comedy, starring Tom Hanks.●●●●

6.00 Milkshake! (HD). 8.45 Film: Thomas &Friends: King of the Railway – The Movie(S,HD). (2013)●● 9.55 Inside Hollywood10.10 The Dog Rescuers (R,S,HD). 10.40World’s Strongest Man 2013 (R,S,HD). 11.40World’s Strongest Man 2013 (R,S,HD). 12.40Eddie Stobart: Trucks and Trailers (R,S,HD).1.40 Film: The Glenn Miller Story (S,HD).(1954)●●●● 3.55 Film: Greystoke: TheLegend of Tarzan, Lord of the Apes (S).(1984)●●●

7.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). SeeChoices Above.

7.30 Coronation Street (S,HD).Tina is furious when Peter actslike nothing happened.

6.45 ITV News (S).; Weather 6.10 Channel 4 News (S).6.20 The Karate Kid (S,HD). (2010)

See Choices Above.●●●

6.30 The Dam Busters (S,HD).(1954) Fact-based SecondWorldWar drama, starring MichaelRedgrave.●●●●●

10.30 ITV News (S).; Weather10.50 2013: A Funny Old Year

(R,S,HD). Jason Manfordpresents a humorouscelebration of the highs andlows of the past 12 months.

12.55 Jackpot247 Interactive gaming.3.00 Film: Training Day (S,HD). (2001)Thriller, starring Denzel Washington.●●●●● 5.00 ITV Nightscreen (HD). Text-based information service. 5.05 TheJeremy Kyle Show (R,S). Guests air theirdifferences.

9.00 David Blaine: Real or Magic(S). See Choices Above.

10.20 Big Fat Quiz of the Year 2013(R,S). Jimmy Carr posesquestions about the majorevents of the year to JackWhitehall, Jonathan Ross, DaraO Briain, Kristen Schaal, NoelFielding and Richard Ayoade.

12.20 Film: Alien (S,HD). (1979) Sci-fihorror, starring Sigourney Weaver.●●●●●2.20 Film: The Quiller Memorandum(S,HD). (1966) Spy thriller, starring GeorgeSegal.●●●● 4.05 Deal or No Deal: IdealChristmas (R,S,HD). 5.00 Countdown(R,S,HD). 5.40 Baking Mad with EricLanlard (R,S,HD).

8.55 5 News (S,HD).

9.00 An Audience with Ken Dodd(R,S). See Choices Above.

10.55 An Audience with CliffRichard (R,S). The singerperforms a selection of hisgreatest hits before a celebrityaudience, inviting Elaine Paige,Vincenzo La Scola and AnotherLevel up on stage to share thelimelight.

12.35 Michael Buble’s ChristmasSpecial (R,S,HD). The Canadian croonerperforms classic festive songs. 1.40SuperCasino Live interactive gaming. 3.05Monster Moves (R,S). 3.55 House Doctor(R,S). 4.20 House Doctor (R,S). 4.45 GreatArtists (R,S). 5.10 Great Scientists (R,S).5.35 Wildlife SOS (R,S).

7.50 Film: Flight of the Navigator (S,HD). (1986)●●● 9.15 The Great British Bake Off (R,S,HD).10.15 The Great British Bake Off (R,S,HD). 11.15New Year’s Day Concert (S,HD). 12.40 The ManyFaces of Michael Caine (R,S). 1.20 Film: TheEagle Has Landed (S,HD). (1976)●●● 3.30Sports Personality of the Year at 60 (R,S). 4.30Final Score (S,HD). 5.20 The Archbishop ofCanterbury’s New Year Message (R,S). 5.25Christmas University Challenge (S,HD). 5.55Film: The Terminal (S,HD). (2004)●●●

8.00 Nature’s Weirdest Events(S,HD). 2/3. Chris Packhaminvestigates reports of fish“walking” out of the water inFlorida, bees in France that aremaking multicoloured honey,and trees oozing a blood-redliquid.

9.00 Glasgow: Big Night Out (S).See Choices Above.

10.00 The Many Faces of StanleyBaxter (R,S,HD). 2/4. A profileof the Glaswegian entertainer,whose TV shows drew hugeaudiences in the 1970s and 80s.With contributions fromMichael Grade, Barry Cryer, BillOddie and Gregor Fisher.

11.00 The Sarah Millican SlightlyLonger Christmas TelevisionProgramme (S). See ChoicesAbove.

11.40 The Resident (S). (2011)Premiere. Horror, with HilarySwank and Christopher Lee.●●

11.50 The Jonathan Ross Show(R,S,HD). The host is joined bynaturalist David Attenborough,comedian John Bishop, chefJamie Oliver, actor RayWinstone and rap duo RizzleKicks.

1.05 Film: Shadow of the Vampire (S).(2000) Horror, starring Willem Dafoe andJohn Malkovich.●●●● 2.25 This Is BBCTwo (S). Preview of upcoming programmes.

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8.00 Harry Potter and theDeathly Hallows: Part 2(S,HD). (2011) Premiere. Theyoung wizard and his friendsface a final battle with theforces of the dark lordVoldemort. Conclusion of thefantasy saga, with DanielRadcliffe and Ralph Fiennes.See Choices Above.●●●●●

EastEnders, 8pm Nature’s Weirdest Events, 8pm 2013: A Funny Old Year, 10.50pm Big Fat Quiz of the Year … 10.20pm An Audience with Cliff … 10.55pm

EMMERDALE7pm, ITVCharity continues to manipulate the police intothinking it was Sam who started the fire and itseems her plot is working, despite DS Reeddiscovering one of the cameras has beentampered with. Meanwhile, Moira hides herdisappointment about her romantic nightaway, and Cain’s frustration continues..

THE SARAH MILLICANSLIGHTLY LONGERCHRISTMAS TELEVISIONPROGRAMME11pm, BBC2The comedienne is joinedby Phillip Schofield and actsout a scene with Call theMidwife stars Judy Parfitt and Helen George.

AN AUDIENCE WITH KEN DODD9pm, Channel 5Comedy and entertainment from theLiverpudlian comedian, in a programmeoriginally aired in 1994 to mark his 40th yearin showbusiness. Among the audiencehelping him celebrate are actors James Foxand Warren Mitchell, actress Mollie Sugdenand TV presenter Carol Vorderman.

6.00 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 6.25 TheCube (R,S,HD). 7.15 You’ve BeenFramed! (R,S). 7.40 You’ve BeenFramed! Funniest 100 (R,S). 8.35 I’m aCelebrity Get Me Out of Here Now!Best of the Bush (R,S,HD). 9.35 Film:The Mighty Ducks (S,HD) (1992).●●11.45 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 12.15 Film:Casper (S,HD) (1995).●●●● 2.10 Film:Ice Age: The Meltdown (S,HD) (2006).●● 4.00 Film: The Mummy: Tomb ofthe Dragon Emperor (S,HD) (2008).●●

11.45 Two and a Half Men(R,S). 1/24. Pilot of thecomedy, starring CharlieSheen.

12.15 Two and a Half Men (R,S).12.40 Celebrity Juice: ParallelJuicyverse Part One (R,S,HD).1.40 Celebrity Juice: ParallelJuicyverse Part Two (R,S,HD).2.35 Totally Bonkers GuinnessWorld Records (R,S,HD). 3.00Totally Bonkers Guinness WorldRecords (R,S,HD).

DAVID BLAINE: REAL ORMAGIC9pm, Channel 4The illusionist performsmind-boggling tricks for ahost of celebrities, includingKaty Perry, Will Smith, KanyeWest, Jamie Foxx, RickyGervais and Stephen Hawking.

BBC1

SHERLOCK9pm, BBC1Two years on from hisreported demise,Holmes resurfaces asLondon comes underthreat – and Watsonworries his settleddomestic life is at an end.


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6.00 Milkshake! (HD). 8.45 Film: Thomas &Friends: King of the Railway – The Movie(S,HD). (2013)●● 9.55 Inside Hollywood10.10 The Dog Rescuers (R,S,HD). 10.40World’s Strongest Man 2013 (R,S,HD). 11.40World’s Strongest Man 2013 (R,S,HD). 12.40Eddie Stobart: Trucks and Trailers (R,S,HD).1.40 Film: The Glenn Miller Story (S,HD).(1954)●●●● 3.55 Film: Greystoke: TheLegend of Tarzan, Lord of the Apes (S).(1984)●●●

6.30 The Dam Busters (S,HD).(1954) Fact-based SecondWorldWar drama, starring MichaelRedgrave.●●●●●

9.00 An Audience with Ken Dodd(R,S). See Choices Above.

12.35 Michael Buble’s ChristmasSpecial (R,S,HD). The Canadian croonerperforms classic festive songs. 1.40SuperCasino Live interactive gaming. 3.05Monster Moves (R,S). 3.55 House Doctor(R,S). 4.20 House Doctor (R,S). 4.45 GreatArtists (R,S). 5.10 Great Scientists (R,S).5.35 Wildlife SOS (R,S).

AN AUDIENCE WITH KEN DODD9pm, Channel 5Comedy and entertainment from theLiverpudlian comedian, in a programmeoriginally aired in 1994 to mark his 40th yearin showbusiness. Among the audiencehelping him celebrate are actors James Foxand Warren Mitchell, actress Mollie Sugdenand TV presenter Carol Vorderman.

6.00 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 6.25 TheCube (R,S,HD). 7.15 You’ve BeenFramed! (R,S). 7.40 You’ve BeenFramed! Funniest 100 (R,S). 8.35 I’m aCelebrity Get Me Out of Here Now!Best of the Bush (R,S,HD). 9.35 Film:The Mighty Ducks (S,HD) (1992).●●11.45 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 12.15 Film:Casper (S,HD) (1995).●●●● 2.10 Film:Ice Age: The Meltdown (S,HD) (2006).●● 4.00 Film: The Mummy: Tomb ofthe Dragon Emperor (S,HD) (2008).●●

6.10 Johnny English (S,HD)(2003). Spy comedy,starring RowanAtkinson.●●●


8.30 Two and a Half Men(R,S). 2/24. Seagullsinvade Jake’s room.


12.15 Two and a Half Men (R,S).12.40 Celebrity Juice: ParallelJuicyverse Part One (R,S,HD).1.40 Celebrity Juice: ParallelJuicyverse Part Two (R,S,HD).2.35 Totally Bonkers GuinnessWorld Records (R,S,HD). 3.00Totally Bonkers Guinness WorldRecords (R,S,HD).

9.00 Love Actually (S,HD)(2003). Interlinked talesof several people insearch of love. RichardCurtis’s romanticcomedy, with HughGrant, MartineMcCutcheon, EmmaThompson, Colin Firth,Bill Nighy and LiamNeeson. Including FYIDaily.●●●

6.00 The Big Bang Theory:Viewer’s Choice (R,S).


6.00 Switched (R,S). 6.25 90210(R,S,HD). 7.10 Ugly Betty (R,S,HD). 8.00Charmed (R,S). 9.00 Glee (R,S,HD).10.00 Rules of Engagement (R,S,HD).10.30 Rude(ish) Tube (R,S). 11.30 TheBig Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 12.30 Rulesof Engagement (R,S,HD). 1.25Rude(ish) Tube (R,S). 1.55 Film: HomeAlone (S,HD) (1990).●●● 4.00 The BigBang Theory (R,S,HD). 5.00 Rude(ish)Tube (R,S). 5.30 The Big Bang Theory:Viewer’s Choice (R,S).


7.30 The Big Bang Theory:Viewer’s Choice (R,S).The most popularepisode.

8.00 Home Alone 2: Lost inNew York (S,HD)(1992). A boy ends upstranded in the BigApple – where hebumps into two familiarburglars with an axe togrind. Comedy sequel,starring MacaulayCulkin, Joe Pesci andDaniel Stern.●●●

10.30 Final Destination 3(S,HD) (2006). Teenagerswho narrowly escapeddeath in a rollercoasterdisaster begin to meetmysteriously gruesomefates. Horror sequel,starring Mary ElizabethWinstead and RyanMerriman.●●●

12.15 Rude Tube’s ChristmasCracker 2013 (R,S). 1.20 The BigBang Theory (R,S,HD). 1.50 TheBig Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 2.20Made in Chelsea: End of SeasonParty (R,S). 3.15 Rude Tube’sChristmas Cracker 2013 (R,S).4.05 Glee (R,S,HD). 4.45 UglyBetty (R,S,HD).

6.00 The Simpsons (R,S).18/22. Barney gives upalcohol.

6.30 David Attenborough’sNatural HistoryMuseum Alive (S,HD).David Attenboroughpresents a unique tourof the Natural HistoryMuseum.

6.00 The Middle (R,S,HD). 7.00Yonderland (R,S,HD). 7.30 Sinbad(R,S,HD). 8.30 MakingAttenborough’s Galapagos(R,S,HD). 9.30 The Simpsons (R,S).10.00 Glee (R,S,HD). 12.00 TheSimpsons (R,S,HD). 12.30 ModernFamily (R,S,HD). 1.30 The Middle(R,S,HD). 2.30 Yonderland (R,S,HD).3.30 Sinbad (R,S,HD). 4.30 TheSimpsons (R,S). 5.00 ModernFamily (R,S,HD).

8.00Moonfleet (R,S,HD).1/2. Ray Winstone starsin this two-partadaptation of JohnMeade Falkner’s19th-century novelfollowing an orphan anda grizzled smuggler.

10.00Mad Dogs: The Finale(R,S,HD). 1/2. MaxBeesley, Philip Glenister,John Simm and MarcWarren return for thefourth and final chapter,which sees the lads backin Britain and trying toturn their lives around.

12.00 Strike Back: ShadowWarfare (R,S,HD). 1.00 Spartacus:Blood and Sand (R,S,HD). 2.15 ALeague of Their Own: Unseen(R,S,HD). 3.10 Road Wars (R,S,HD).4.00 Johnny Vegas’s LittleCracker (R,S,HD). 4.15 Harry Hill’sLittle Cracker (R,S,HD). 4.30Luton Airport (R,S). 5.00 Airline

11.00Mad Dogs: The Finale(R,S,HD). 2/2. The lads hitupon a money-makingplan.

9.00Moonfleet (R,S,HD). 2/2.John and Elzevir set sailfor a new life in France,until they realiseBlackbeard’s locket couldlead them to thediamond. Conclusion ofthe adventure, starringRay Winstone.

6.05 Stuart Little 2 (2002).Family adventuresequel, starring GeenaDavis.●●●

6.00 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. 7.45Open All Hours (S). 8.25 Porridge(S). 9.05 The Vicar of Dibley (S).9.40 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. 10.15Harry Hill’s Christmas TV Burp.10.45 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. 11.45Film: Stuart Little (1999).●●●●1.30 You, Me & Them (S). 2.10Open All Hours (S). 2.50 Porridge(S). 3.30 The Vicar of Dibley (S).4.05 Harry Hill’s TV Burp.

7.40 Gavin & Stacey –Christmas Special (S).8/8. The Wests join theShipmans on ChristmasEve for one of Mick’sfamous turkey dinners,but Gavin and Stacey’sannouncement dampensthe mood.

10.50 30 Years of ComicStrip (S). Celebration ofthe comedy team,examining the influenceof its programmes onBritish television.Featuring appearancesfrom famous fans andmembers of the original1980s cast.

12.50 Film: Three Fugitives(1989). Comedy, starring Nick Nolte.●●● 2.30 The Green Green Grass(S). Boycie and Marlene visit amansion. 3.00 Close

9.00 Outnumbered (S).Christmas special from2012. The Brockmansthrow a party.

9.55 The Comic StripPresents: Five Go toRehab (S). Sequel to thefirst Comic Strip Presentsfilm.

6.00 Good Morning Sports Fans(HD). 9.00 The Sky Sports Years.10.00 Ringside – Review of theSeason (HD). 12.00 Soccer Special(HD). 12.30 Live Football Special(HD). Swansea City v ManchesterCity (Kick-off 12.45pm). 3.00 SoccerSpecial (HD). News and results fromthis afternoon’s matches. 5.15 FL72Live (HD). Yeovil Town v Watford(Kick-off 5.30pm).

11.00 The Sky Sports Years.A look back at Sky’scoverage in 2013.

12.00 FL72 Highlights (HD). YeovilTown v Watford. 1.00 World PDCDarts Championship (HD). Thefinal at the Alexandra Palace inLondon. 3.00 The Sky SportsYears. 4.00 FL72 Highlights (HD).5.00 Goles Y Goles Y Goles (HD).5.30 Rugby Union (HD).

Johnny English, 6.10pm Home Alone 2: Lost … 8pm Natural History … 6.30pm Outnumbered, 9pm Live Football, 12.30pm

DAVID BLAINE: REAL ORMAGIC9pm, Channel 4The illusionist performsmind-boggling tricks for ahost of celebrities, includingKaty Perry, Will Smith, KanyeWest, Jamie Foxx, RickyGervais and Stephen Hawking.

GLASGOW: BIG NIGHT OUT9pm, BBC2Stanley Baxter narrates a documentary thattakes an affectionate look at his home citythrough the eyes of acts who have performedthere. Glasgow Empire was notorious for itshostile atmosphere, but acts including Baxterhimself, Nicholas Parsons and the Krankiesfirst made there name there.

8.00 Live World PDC DartsChampionship (HD).Coverage of the final atthe Alexandra Palace inLondon, where the mostprestigious tournamenton the calendar reaches aconclusion.

7.00 Indiana Jonesand the LastCrusade (S,HD)(1989). Theintrepidarchaeologist setsout to find hisfather, who hasgone missingwhile searchingfor the HolyGrail. Actionadventure sequel,starring HarrisonFord and SeanConnery.●●●●●

9.00 Jack WhitehallLive (R,S,HD). Anhour of livestand-up.

10.25 Backchat withJack Whitehalland His Dad(S,HD). Last in theseries.


12.05 Family Guy (R,S).12.30 Family Guy (R,S).12.50 Backchat with JackWhitehall and His Dad(R,S,HD). 1.35 RussellHoward’s Good News(R,S,HD). 2.05 ImpracticalJokers (R,S,HD). 2.35Fuzzbox (R,S,HD). 3.00 TheCall Centre Christmas(R,S).

7.00 New Year’s DayConcert Livefrom Vienna(HD). Highlightsof this morning’straditionalconcert,performed by theViennaPhilharmonicOrchestra,conducted byDanielBarenboim.

9.00 Cleopatra: TheFilm ThatChangedHollywood (R).The story behindthe making of the1963 historicalepic, starringElizabethTaylor as theQueen of theNile, whichat the time wasthe mostexpensive movieever made.

11.00 Arena: KenDodd –Happiness (R).

12.00 Krakatoa Revealed(R). 12.50 The Joy of Abba(R). 1.50 Abba at the BBC(R,HD). 2.50 The Bridge(R,HD).

THE KARATE KID6.20pm, Channel 4An American youngsterliving in China falls foulof bullies, until a kindlykung fu master teacheshim to defend himself.Martial arts drama, withJackie Chan.

HARRY POTTER ANDTHE DEATHLYHALLOWS: PART 28pm, ITVConclusion of thefantasy saga, withDaniel Radcliffe, RalphFiennes, Emma Watsonand Alan Rickman.


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HolidaysThe Coach Stop, 1 Hounds Rd, Chipping Sodbury. BS37 6EE | www.chauffeurhireplus.co.uk

Harry Potter Studio TourDay Trip Saturday 8th February

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Come along for a behind the scenestour at Warner Bros Studio LondonCall 01454 319047 to book nowspaces are limited! *Includes coach and 3 hour studio tour

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6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 9.00 Match of theDay (R,S,HD). 10.30 Film: The Pacifier (S).(2005)●● 12.00 Bargain Hunt (S,HD).From Shepton Mallet Antiques Fair,Somerset. 1.00 BBC News (S,HD). 1.30Regional News (S). 1.45 Film: TheSorcerer’s Apprentice (S,HD). (2010)Fantasy adventure, starring Nicolas Cage.●●● 3.25 Escape to the Country (R,S,HD).4.10 Flog It! (S). 5.10 PointlessCelebrities (S,HD).

7.00 Celebrity Mastermind (S,HD).5/10. With Adil Ray, MarkPorter, Kevin Eldon and JordanStephens.

7.30 EastEnders (S,HD). Kat gets ashock.

6.00 BBC News (S,HD).6.30 Regional News (S).

8.00 Dolphins – Spy in the Pod(S,HD). 1/2. First of a two-partdocumentary taking anintimate look at the secretworld of the marine mammal,using camcorders attached tofast-moving submersibles torecord life in the oceans.

9.00 Silent Witness (S,HD). 1/10.See Choices Above.

10.00 BBC News (S,HD).10.25 Regional News (S).; Weather10.35 Pretty Woman (S,HD). (1990)

A millionaire businessman hiresa prostitute for a week, andfalls in love with her despitetheir many differences.Romantic comedy, starring JuliaRoberts and Richard Gere.●●●●

12.30 Film: The Rebound (S,HD). (2009)Romantic comedy, with Catherine Zeta-Jones and Justin Bartha.●●● 2.00 SkiingWeatherview (S). 2.05 BBC News (S,HD).

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6.00 Daybreak (S). 8.30 Lorraine (S). 9.25The Jeremy Kyle Show (S). 10.30 ThisMorning (S). 12.30 Loose Women (S,HD).Topical debate from a female perspective.1.30 ITV News (S).; Weather 1.55 RegionalNews (S). 2.00 All Star Mr & Mrs (R,S).With Holly Willoughby, Boris Becker andJudith Chalmers. 3.00 Secrets from theWorkhouse (R,S,HD). 3.59 RegionalProgramme (S). 4.00 Tipping Point(R,S,HD). 5.00 The Chase (S,HD).

6.05 According to Jim (HD). 6.30 Will &Grace 7.25 Film: Flicka (HD). (2006)●●●9.05 How I Met Your Mother (HD). 10.10The Big Bang Theory (HD). 11.05 TheSimpsons 11.35 Film: Flash Gordon(HD). (1980)●●●● 1.50 Film: The Jewelof the Nile (HD). (1985) Comedyadventure sequel, starring Michael Douglasand Kathleen Turner.●●● 4.00 Deal orNo Deal (HD). 5.00 Celebrity Come Dinewith Me (HD).

6.00 Milkshake! 9.55 Cowboy Builders(R,S,HD). 10.50 Eddie Stobart: Trucksand Trailers (R,S,HD). 11.50 5 NewsLunchtime (S,HD). 11.55 Titanic (R,S).3.10 Film: Columbo: By Dawn’s EarlyLight (S). (1974) Crime drama, starringPeter Falk and Patrick McGoohan.●●●5.00 5 News at 5 (S,HD). 5.30 CowboyBuilders (R,S,HD). The team helps a familyfrom Bounds Green in Haringey, northLondon.

7.00 Emmerdale (S,HD).7.30 Do You Know Your

Neighbours?: Tonight (S,HD).Residents are brought togetherto celebrate their communityfor the first time.

6.00 Regional News (S).; Weather6.30 ITV News (S).; Weather

6.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 2/22.Homer’s mother asks for help.With the voice of Glenn Close.

6.30 Hollyoaks (S). Theresa’s anticsthreaten to spoil Carmel’s day.


10.00 ITV News at Ten (S).10.30 Regional News (S).; Weather10.35 The Americans (R,S,HD). 1/13.

Another chance to see the firstepisode of the KGB spy drama.The Jennings set out to kidnapa defector and send him backto the Soviet Union.

12.20 Jackpot247 Interactive gaming.3.00 Do You Know Your Neighbours?:Tonight (R,S,HD). Residents are broughttogether to celebrate their community forthe first time. 3.25 ITV Nightscreen (HD).Text-based information service. 5.05 TheJeremy Kyle Show (R,S,HD). Guests airtheir differences.


8.00 The Restoration Man (S).New series. Architect GeorgeClarke follows the progress ofLondoners Alison and MatthewGray, who want to turn apumping station into a designhaven.

9.00My Big Fat Gypsy Holiday(S,HD). Following members ofthe travelling communityplanning trips abroad, from abride-to-be going to Mexico forher honeymoon, to a young girlmaking a religious pilgrimageto Bosnia.

10.00 Secrets of the Scammers (S).From traditional street scams tosophisticated online computerfraud.

10.55 Aliens (S,HD). (1986) Lonesurvivor Ripley joins a militaryforce on a mission to face ahorde of the creatures thatwiped out her crew. Sci-fithriller sequel, with SigourneyWeaver and Michael Biehn.●●●●●

1.50 Coming Up (R,S,HD). 2.15 Emily’sSong (R,S). 2.30 Food Unwrapped’sChristmas Dinner (R,S). The safest way tocook a turkey and the potency ofchampagne. 3.30 A Place in the Sun:Winter Sun (R,S,HD). 4.25 Deal or NoDeal: Ideal Christmas (R,S,HD). 5.25Countdown (R,S,HD).

7.00 Got Thin – Got Fat Again!(R,S,HD). The stories of peoplewho cannot maintain their newweight after dieting. Followedby 5 News Update.

8.00 Too Fat to Fly (R,S,HD). Thestories of obese Britons whohave suffered embarrassingincidents on holiday, includinga couple told they were tooheavy to sit next to each otheron a flight to Guernsey.Followed by 5 News at 9.

9.00 50 Shocking Facts AboutDiet and Exercise (R,S,HD).Countdown of weight-lossmethods, with scientists,industry experts and exponentsexplaining the pros and cons offad diets, “healthy” foods andextreme exercise regimens.

11.00 Fat for Cash (R,S,HD).Documentary about threeAmerican women makingmoney by appealing to menwho prefer the larger form.Part of Supersize Night.

12.00 SuperCasino Live interactivegaming. 3.05 Monster Moves (R,S). Atown in Quebec is uprooted to make wayfor a goldmine. 3.55 House Doctor (R,S). Abachelor pad in Knutsford, Cheshire. 4.20House Doctor (R,S). Home improvements.4.45 Great Artists (R,S). 5.10 GreatScientists (R,S). 5.35 Wildlife SOS (R,S).

6.30 Natural World: Queen of theSavannah (R,S,HD). 7.30 Sign Zone: TudorMonastery Farm (R,S). 8.30 Britain’sEmpty Homes (R,S,HD). 9.00 Africa(R,S,HD). 10.00 Earthflight (R,S,HD). 11.00The Great British Bake Off (R,S,HD). 12.00The Great British Bake Off (R,S,HD). 1.00Antiques Road Trip (S). 2.00 Film: TheHeroes of Telemark (S). (1965)●●●● 4.05The Queen’s Palaces (R,S,HD). 5.05Vintage Antiques Roadshow (R,S).

7.30 Christmas UniversityChallenge (S,HD). 9/10. Thesecond semi-final of the quiz.

6.00 Celebrity Eggheads (R,S,HD).5/10. Five former footballerstake on the expert quizzers.

6.30 Glasgow: Big Night Out (R,S).

8.00 Top Gear (R,S,HD). JeremyClarkson, Richard Hammondand James May look back atmemorable stunts and the bestchallenges from the motoringmagazine’s most recent series.

9.00 PQ17: An Arctic ConvoyDisaster (S,HD). See ChoicesAbove.

10.00 Rab C Nesbitt (S,HD). SeeChoices Above.

10.45 John Sergeant Meets Rab CNesbitt (R,S). The veteranreporter finds out how therecession is affecting Rab.

11.30 Idris Elba – King of Speed(R,S,HD). 1/2. Part one of two.Documentary in which theLuther star embarks on aninternational journey toexplore the history of carracing.

11.55 The Unforgettable LeslieCrowther (R,S). A profile ofthe game-show host.

12.30 Idris Elba – King of Speed(R,S,HD). Part two of two. The Luther starlearns how to drive a rally car. 1.30 SignZone: World’s Busiest Maternity Ward(R,S). 2.30 Two Doors Down (R,S). 3.30This Is BBC Two (S). Preview of upcomingprogrammes.

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8.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). Charityand Declan fear their plan isfalling apart.

8.30 Birds of a Feather (S,HD). 1/8.See Choices Above.

9.00 Benidorm (S,HD). 1/7.See Choices Above.

EastEnders, 7.30pm Top Gear, 8pm The Americans, 10.35pm Aliens, 10.55pm Too Fat to Fly, 8pm

PQ17: AN ARCTIC CONVOY DISASTER9pm, BBC2Between 1941 and 1945, merchant ships escortedby vessels from the US, Canadian and Britishnavies delivered 4 million tons of essential goodsto the Soviet Union. In this documentary, JeremyClarkson retraces the journey of the convoy of 35ships codenamed PQ17 from Iceland toArkhangelsk in June and July 1942.

BENIDORM9pm, ITVThe Garveys’ holiday startsto go wrong at AlicanteAirport, while swingersDonald and Jacquelinestage a protest whenmanager Joyce refuses togive them a room.

SILENT WITNESS9pm, BBC1The Lyell Centre has a new boss in the shapeof forensic pathologist Thomas Chamberlain,but he is met with a frosty reception fromNikki, Jack and Clarissa, who are still comingto terms with the death of Leo. Meanwhile,detectives are demanding results in twounsolved cases.

6.00 Union J: The Hot Desk (R,S,HD). 6.10Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 6.35 Coronation Street(R,S,HD). 7.00 Film: King Ralph (S,HD) (1991).●● 8.55 You’ve Been Framed! (R,S). 9.20Britain’s Got More Talent: Singers & Dancers(R,S,HD). 10.20 I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out ofHere Now! Crown Jewels (R,S,HD). 11.20 I’ma Celebrity Get Me Out of Here! Coming Out(R,S). 12.25 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 12.55Coronation Street (R,S,HD). 1.25 You’ve BeenFramed! (R,S). 1.55 The Jeremy Kyle Show(R,S). 4.00 You’ve Been Framed Rides Again!(R,S). 5.00 Film: Scooby-Doo 2: MonstersUnleashed (S,HD) (2004).●●

10.00 Fake Reaction (S,HD).1/10. New series. WithHelen Flanagan, MarlonDavis, Brian McFaddenand his wife Vogue.

10.50 Utterly OutrageousReality TV Moments2013 (R,S). MattEdmondson presents.

11.50 Two and a Half Men(R,S). 3/24. Alan plans afun-filled weekend withhis son.

12.20 Two and a Half Men (R,S).12.45 Tricked (R,S,HD). Hidden-camera magic show, hosted by BenHanlin. 1.35 Totally BonkersGuinness World Records(R,S,HD). 2.00 You’ve BeenFramed! (R,S). 2.25Teleshopping. Home shopping.5.55 ITV2 Nightscreen (HD).

RAB C NESBITT10pm, BBC2Rab turns to crime to makeends meet and modelshimself on Robin Hood,hiding out in a park to robthe rich and give to the poor.One-off episode of thecomedy, with Gregor Fisher.

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BIRDS OF AFEATHER8.30pm, ITVITV’s revival of the hitBBC sitcom. Sharon hasreturned to her councilflat, while Tracey is stillin Chigwell. PaulineQuirke and Linda Robson star.


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6.00 Milkshake! 9.55 Cowboy Builders(R,S,HD). 10.50 Eddie Stobart: Trucksand Trailers (R,S,HD). 11.50 5 NewsLunchtime (S,HD). 11.55 Titanic (R,S).3.10 Film: Columbo: By Dawn’s EarlyLight (S). (1974) Crime drama, starringPeter Falk and Patrick McGoohan.●●●5.00 5 News at 5 (S,HD). 5.30 CowboyBuilders (R,S,HD). The team helps a familyfrom Bounds Green in Haringey, northLondon.

7.00 Got Thin – Got Fat Again!(R,S,HD). The stories of peoplewho cannot maintain their newweight after dieting. Followedby 5 News Update.

8.00 Too Fat to Fly (R,S,HD). Thestories of obese Britons whohave suffered embarrassingincidents on holiday, includinga couple told they were tooheavy to sit next to each otheron a flight to Guernsey.Followed by 5 News at 9.

9.00 50 Shocking Facts AboutDiet and Exercise (R,S,HD).Countdown of weight-lossmethods, with scientists,industry experts and exponentsexplaining the pros and cons offad diets, “healthy” foods andextreme exercise regimens.

12.00 SuperCasino Live interactivegaming. 3.05 Monster Moves (R,S). Atown in Quebec is uprooted to make wayfor a goldmine. 3.55 House Doctor (R,S). Abachelor pad in Knutsford, Cheshire. 4.20House Doctor (R,S). Home improvements.4.45 Great Artists (R,S). 5.10 GreatScientists (R,S). 5.35 Wildlife SOS (R,S).

SILENT WITNESS9pm, BBC1The Lyell Centre has a new boss in the shapeof forensic pathologist Thomas Chamberlain,but he is met with a frosty reception fromNikki, Jack and Clarissa, who are still comingto terms with the death of Leo. Meanwhile,detectives are demanding results in twounsolved cases.

6.00 Union J: The Hot Desk (R,S,HD). 6.10Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 6.35 Coronation Street(R,S,HD). 7.00 Film: King Ralph (S,HD) (1991).●● 8.55 You’ve Been Framed! (R,S). 9.20Britain’s Got More Talent: Singers & Dancers(R,S,HD). 10.20 I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out ofHere Now! Crown Jewels (R,S,HD). 11.20 I’ma Celebrity Get Me Out of Here! Coming Out(R,S). 12.25 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 12.55Coronation Street (R,S,HD). 1.25 You’ve BeenFramed! (R,S). 1.55 The Jeremy Kyle Show(R,S). 4.00 You’ve Been Framed Rides Again!(R,S). 5.00 Film: Scooby-Doo 2: MonstersUnleashed (S,HD) (2004).●●

7.00 You’ve Been Framed!(R,S). Featuringtroublesome toys.

7.30 You’ve Been Framed!(R,S). Teenage traumasand practical jokes.


8.30 Two and a Half Men(R,S). 4/24. Charlie’scleaning lady quits herjob.

10.00 Fake Reaction (S,HD).1/10. New series. WithHelen Flanagan, MarlonDavis, Brian McFaddenand his wife Vogue.

10.50 Utterly OutrageousReality TV Moments2013 (R,S). MattEdmondson presents.


12.20 Two and a Half Men (R,S).12.45 Tricked (R,S,HD). Hidden-camera magic show, hosted by BenHanlin. 1.35 Totally BonkersGuinness World Records(R,S,HD). 2.00 You’ve BeenFramed! (R,S). 2.25Teleshopping. Home shopping.5.55 ITV2 Nightscreen (HD).

9.00 Tricked (R,S,HD). 1/6.Hidden-camera magicshow, in whichunsuspecting celebritiesand members of thepublic are subjected toBen Hanlin’s tricks andillusions.



6.00 Switched (R,S). 6.25 90210(R,S,HD). 7.10 Ugly Betty (R,S,HD).8.00 Charmed (R,S). 9.00 Glee(R,S,HD). 10.00 Rules of Engagement(R,S,HD). 10.30 Rude(ish) Tube (R,S).11.30 Charmed (R,S). 12.30Hollyoaks (R,S,HD). 1.00 How I MetYour Mother (R,S,HD). 2.00 The BigBang Theory (R,S,HD). 3.00 Rude(ish)Tube (R,S). 4.00 Rules ofEngagement (R,S,HD). 5.00 How IMet Your Mother (R,S,HD).

7.00 Hollyoaks (S,HD).Theresa seeksvengeance after beingoutfoxed by Carmel.


8.00 Grease (S,HD) (1978). Arebellious teenager fallsfor a shy Australian girl– but risks losing herlove by trying to actcool. Musical set in the1950s, starring JohnTravolta and OliviaNewton-John.●●●●●

10.15 The Final Destination(S,HD) (2009). Fourteenagers narrowlyescape being killed in atragedy at a racetrack –but Death is soon hot ontheir heels. Horrorsequel, starring BobbyCampo and ShantelVanSanten.●●●

12.00 8 Out of 10 CatsChristmas Special (R,S). 1.00 TheBig Bang Theory (R,S,HD). 1.30The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD).2.00 Geeks (R,S). 2.55 8 Out of 10Cats Christmas Special (R,S).3.45 How I Met Your Mother(R,S,HD). 4.05 Glee (R,S,HD). 4.50Ugly Betty (R,S,HD).



6.00 The Middle (R,S,HD). 7.00 Airline(R,S). 8.00 Sinbad (R,S,HD). 9.00 TheSimpsons (R,S). 9.30 Shappi Khorsandi’sLittle Cracker (R,S,HD). 9.45 SanjeevBhaskar’s Little Cracker (R,S,HD). 10.00Glee (R,S,HD). 12.00 The Simpsons (R,S).12.30 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 1.30Yonderland (R,S,HD). 2.00 DavidAttenborough’s Natural History MuseumAlive (R,HD). 3.30 The Simpsons (R,S). 4.00Sinbad (R,S,HD). 5.00 The Simpsons (R,S).5.30 Modern Family (R,S,HD).

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S).11/22. Homer fears hehas only 24 hours to live.


8.00Modern Family(R,S,HD). 14/24. Mannyand Luke compete for anacting role.

8.30 A League of TheirOwn (R,S,HD). 2/12.With Ruth Jones andAlastair Campbell.

10.00 Karl Pilkington: TheMoaning of Life(R,S,HD). 4/5. Karl aimsto bag himself avocation.

12.00 Spartacus: Blood andSand (R,S,HD). 1.15 A League ofTheir Own: Rally Special (R,S,HD).1.45 Nothing to Declare (R,S).2.15 Road Wars (R,S,HD). 3.10Road Wars (R,S,HD). 4.00 JaneHorrocks’ Little Cracker (R,S,HD).4.15 Sanjeev Bhaskar’s LittleCracker (R,S,HD).

11.00 Karl Pilkington: TheMoaning of Life(R,S,HD). 5/5. Karl endshis journey with a lookat differing attitudes todeath. Last in the series.

9.00 A League of Their Own(R,S,HD). Sports-basedcomedy quiz, hosted byJames Corden, withJamie Redknapp andAndrew Flintoff as teamcaptains.

6.10 Thunderbirds (2004).See Choices Above.●●

6.10 The Green Green Grass (S).6.40 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. 7.05 HarryHill’s Christmas TV Burp. 7.35 HarryHill’s TV Burp. 8.35 Open All Hours(S). 9.15 Porridge (S). 9.55 The Vicarof Dibley (S). 10.30 Harry Hill’s TVBurp. 12.30 Film: Stuart Little 2(2002).●●● 2.10 Open All Hours (S).2.50 Porridge (S). 3.30 TheVicar of Dibley (S). 4.10 Harry Hill’sTV Burp.

8.05 Outnumbered (S).Christmas special from2012. The Brockmansthrow a party.

10.20 Three Fugitives (1989).A reformed bank robberis an innocent bystanderin a heist, but when he isassumed to be guilty hegoes on the run with theactual crook. Comedy,with Nick Nolte andMartin Short.●●●

12.10 The Royle FamilyChristmas Special (S). Dave comesup with an idea worthy of Dragons’Den. 1.35 The Comic StripPresents: Five Go to Rehab (S).Sequel to the first Comic StripPresents film. 2.20 The GreenGreen Grass (S). Tyler and Earl thedog go missing. 3.00 Close

9.00 The Royle FamilyChristmas Special (S).See Choices Above.

6.00 Good Morning Sports Fans(HD). 9.00 The Sky Sports Years.10.00 Soccer Extra (HD). 12.00Football Special (HD). Extendedhighlights from the Premier League.1.30 Soccer Extra (HD). Discussionprogramme. 3.30 The Sky SportsYears. A look back at Sky’s coveragein 2013. 4.30 FL72 Preview. 5.30Soccer Extra (HD). Discussionprogramme.

7.30 Live ScottishPremiership Football(HD). Hibernian v Hearts(Kick-off 7.45pm).Coverage of the firstEdinburgh derby of 2014,which takes place atEaster Road.

11.00 Soccer Extra (HD).Discussion programme.

1.00 Scottish PremiershipFootball (HD). Hibernian v Hearts.2.00 Premier League World (HD).A round-up of the latest news. 2.30FL72 Preview. A look ahead to thelatest round of fixtures. 3.30 SoccerExtra (HD). Discussion programme.5.30 Premier League World (HD).

10.00 FL72 Preview. A lookahead to the latestround of fixtures inLeague One and LeagueTwo.

Tricked, 9pm Grease, 8pm A League of Their Own, 9pm Outnumbered, 8.05pm Live Football, 7.30pm

RAB C NESBITT10pm, BBC2Rab turns to crime to makeends meet and modelshimself on Robin Hood,hiding out in a park to robthe rich and give to the poor.One-off episode of thecomedy, with Gregor Fisher.

THE ROYLE FAMILY CHRISTMASSPECIAL9pm, GOLDA new neighbour’s cleavage is one of themany topics of conversation as the couch-potato clan gathers for another fun-filledChristmas Day. This year Barbara has goneoverboard with the presents after spendingan entire two hours in the pound shop.

7.00WinterWipeout(R,S). Winterversion of TotalWipeout.

8.00 Indiana Jonesand theKingdomof the CrystalSkull (S,HD)(2008). SeeChoices Above.●●●

10.00 RussellHoward’s GoodNews (R,S). Anedition from2010.





12.10 American Dad!(R,S,HD). 12.30 Snow,Sex and SuspiciousParents (R,S,HD). 1.30Russell Howard’s GoodNews (R,S). 2.00Impractical Jokers(R,S,HD). 2.30Impractical Jokers(R,S,HD). 3.00 Snow, Sexand Suspicious Parents(R,S).

7.00World NewsToday; Weather.

7.30Mary Poppins(HD) (1964). Apractically perfectEdwardian nannywith magicalpowers brings funinto thehumdrum lives oftwo children.Disney’s musicalfantasy, starringJulie Andrewsand Dick VanDyke.●●●●●

9.45Michael Grade’sStars of theMusical Theatre.Investigatingwhat makes amusical great.

10.45 Secret Voices ofHollywood(R,HD). A look atthe “ghostsingers”, whosevoices weredubbed forHollywood stars.

11.45 Old Jews TellingJokes (R).

12.15 Old Jews TellingJokes (R). 12.45 The ManyFaces of Les Dawson (R).1.45 Michael Grade’s Starsof the Musical Theatre (R).2.45 The Bridge (R,HD).

THUNDERBIRDS6.10pm, GOLDA master criminal takesover Tracy Island,leaving InternationalRescue’s youngestmember to save theday. Sci-fi adventure,starring Bill Paxton.

INDIANA JONES ANDTHE KINGDOM OFTHE CRYSTAL SKULL8pm, BBC3The archaeologist racesto find an artefact ofuntold power. Actionadventure sequel,starring Harrison Ford.


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6.00 Breakfast (S,HD). 9.10 Film: The Catin the Hat (S,HD). (2003)●● 10.25 Film:Race to Witch Mountain (S,HD). (2009)●●● 12.00 Bargain Hunt (S,HD). Antiquehunting in Corby, Northamptonshire. 1.00BBC News; Weather (S,HD). 1.30 RegionalNews (S). 1.45 Film: The Shaggy Dog(S,HD). (2006) Comedy remake, starring TimAllen.●●● 3.15 Escape to the Country(R,S). 4.15 Flog It! (S). 5.10 PointlessCelebrities (S,HD).

7.00 Celebrity Mastermind (S,HD).6/10. With John Cooper Clarke,Ben Faulks, Roy Hudd andFrank Turner.

7.30 A Question of Sport (S,HD).10/36. With Steve Redgrave.

6.00 BBC News (S,HD).; Weather6.30 Regional News (S).; Weather

8.00 EastEnders (S,HD). Katanxiously waits to hear someimportant news.

8.30 Miranda (R,S,HD). 4/6. Theshop owner is trapped in herflat caring for her poorlymother.

9.00 Silent Witness (S,HD). 2/10.See Choices above.


by National Lottery Update.10.35 The Graham Norton Show

(S,HD). A compilation ofhighlights from the chat show.

11.25 EastEnders (S,HD). Omnibus.Ronnie catches Roxy sneakingin after a night with Carl, Billyregrets giving Lucy her job backand Linda is surprised whenShirley stands up for her.


11

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6.00 Daybreak (S,HD). 8.30 Lorraine (S).9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show (S). 10.30This Morning (S). 12.30 Loose Women(S,HD). Topical debate from a femaleperspective. 1.30 ITV News (S).; Weather1.55 Regional News (S). 2.00 All Star Mr& Mrs (R,S). With Jack P Shepherd, Ice-T andCarol Smillie. 3.00 Secrets from theWorkhouse (R,S,HD). 3.59 RegionalProgramme (S). 4.00 Tipping Point(R,S,HD). 5.00 The Chase (S,HD).

6.10 According to Jim (HD). 6.35 Will &Grace 7.00 Film: Candleshoe (HD). (1977)●●● 8.50 How I Met Your Mother (HD).9.50 The Big Bang Theory (HD). 10.45Film: King Kong (1976)●● 1.15 Film:Zulu (HD). (1964) Fact-based historicaldrama, starring Michael Caine.●●●● 4.00Deal or No Deal (HD). Game show. 5.00Celebrity Come Dine with Me (HD). WithLaila Morse, Bobby Davro, Dane Bowers andDani Behr.

6.00 Milkshake! 9.45 InsideHollywood (R). 9.55 The Dog Rescuers(R,S,HD). 10.20 Cowboy Builders(R,S,HD). 11.20 Eddie Stobart: Trucks andTrailers (R,S,HD). 12.20 5 NewsLunchtime (S,HD). 12.25 CSI: Miami(R,S). 1.15 Film: Doctor Zhivago (S).(1965) Epic drama, starring Omar Sharifand Julie Christie.●●●●● 5.00 5 Newsat 5 (S,HD). 5.30 Cowboy Builders(R,S,HD).

7.00 Emmerdale (S,HD). Charityand Declan plant false evidenceagainst Sam.

7.30 Coronation Street (S,HD).Kylie’s drinking puts herchildren in danger.

6.00 Regional News (S).; Weather6.30 ITV News (S).; Weather

6.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 3/22.Michael Moore guest stars.

6.30 Hollyoaks (S). Theresa seeksvengeance after beingoutfoxed by Carmel.


10.00 ITV News at Ten (S).10.30 Regional News (S).; Weather10.35 The Americans (R,S,HD). 2/13.

The Jennings try to plant a bugin the defence secretary’s officebefore a conference is due totake place.

12.30 Jackpot247 Interactive gaming.3.00 Film: Hearts in Atlantis (S,HD).(2001) Drama, starring Anthony Hopkins.●● 4.40 ITV Nightscreen (HD). Text-basedinformation service.


8.00 Gordon Ramsay’s HomeCooking (S). The chef serves upa variety of comfort foods,including beef stew withdumplings, sausage hotpot andshepherd’s pie.

9.00 8 Out of 10 Cats DoesCountdown (S). 1/4. SeeChoices above.

10.00 Rude Tube: Welcome to 2014(S). Alex Zane welcomes in theNew Year with 100 internetclips, featuring new videosalongside the best from theyear just gone, includingBatDad and LED baby.

12.05 Film: Alien 3 (S,HD). (1992)●●●2.05 The Ricky Gervais Show (R,S,HD).2.35 The Big C: Hereafter (S,HD). 3.30Don’t Trust the B**** in Apartment 23(S,HD). 3.50 Suburgatory (S,HD). 4.10Four Rooms (S,HD). 5.05 Deal or NoDeal: Ideal Christmas (R,S,HD).

7.00 The Gadget Show (R,S,HD).Jason Bradbury and RachelRiley test three 4K Blu-rayplayers. Followed by 5 NewsUpdate.

8.00 Robson’s Extreme FishingChallenge (S,HD). See Choicesabove.

9.00 Celebrity Big Brother: LiveLaunch (S,HD). See Choicesabove.

11.00 Celebrity Big Brother’s Biton the Side (HD). New series.EmmaWillis and Rylan Clarkpresent the CBB companionshow, finding out what thestudio audience think of thenew intake.

12.00 SuperCasino Live interactivegaming. 3.05 True CSI (S). The murder ofmodel Constantine Dean Milo. 3.50Motorsport Mundial (HD). A round-up ofmotorsport news. 4.20 House Doctor (R,S).4.45 Great Artists (R,S). 5.10 GreatScientists (R,S). 5.35 Wildlife SOS (R,S).

6.00 This Is BBC Two (S). 6.30 Britain’s NaturalWorld: The Unnatural History of London(R,S,HD). 7.30 Sign Zone: The Secret Life ofMary Poppins: A Culture Show Special (R,S).8.30 Britain’s Empty Homes (R,S,HD). 9.00Africa (R,S,HD). 10.00 Earthflight: Flying High(R,S,HD). 11.00 The Great British Bake Off(R,S,HD). 12.00 The Great British Bake Off – TheFinal (R,S,HD). 1.00 Antiques Road Trip (S). 2.00Film: Rebecca (S,HD). (1940)●●●●● 4.05 TheQueen’s Palaces (R,S,HD). 5.05 AntiquesRoadshow (S).

7.00 Nature’s Weirdest Events(R,S,HD). 1/3. Chris Packhaminvestigates more peculiarnatural events.

6.00 Celebrity Eggheads (R,S,HD).6/10. Featuring former stars ofDoctor Who.

6.30 Coast (R,S). 4/6. The WesternIsles and Shetland.

8.00 Kangaroo Dundee (S,HD). 5/6.See Choices above.

8.30 Christmas UniversityChallenge (R,S,HD). 10/10. Thefinal of the quiz. Last in theseries.

9.00 James May’s Toy Stories: TheMotorcycle Diary (S,HD). TheTop Gear presenter sets out tobuild a motorbike and sidecarentirely out of Meccano andcomplete a lap of the Isle ofMan’s TT circuit with passengerOz Clarke.

10.00 Drive (S,HD). (2011) SeeChoices above.●●●●

11.35 Top Gear Africa Special –Part One (R,S,HD). 6/7. Partone of two. Jeremy Clarkson,Richard Hammond and JamesMay visit Africa on a mission tofind the definitive source of theNile.

11.35 Benidorm (R,S,HD). 1/7. TheGarveys’ holiday starts to gowrong at Alicante Airport.

12.35 Top Gear Africa Special – Part Two(R,S,HD). Part two of two. The quest to findthe source of the River Nile concludes. 1.35Sign Zone: DH Lawrence: A JourneyWithout Shame – A Culture ShowSpecial (R,S). 2.35 This Is BBC Two (S).Preview of upcoming programmes.

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8.00 The Martin Lewis MoneyShow (S,HD). 1/6. New series.Martin Lewis and Saira Khantackle post-Christmas financialblues.

8.30 Coronation Street (S,HD).David returns to see the dangerKylie has put the kids in.

9.00 Piers Morgan’s Life Stories:June Brown (S,HD). 1/7. SeeChoices above.

EastEnders, 8pm Christmas University ... 8.30pm The Martin Lewis Money Show, 8pm Hollyoaks, 6.30pm Celebrity Big Brother: Live ... 9pm

SILENT WITNESS9pm, BBC1Part two of two. IsaacDreyfus fights to provehis innocence, whileAdam Freedman turnsto a mysterious sourceto help avenge themurder of his wife and child.

KANGAROO DUNDEE8pm, BBC2An attack by a feral dog prompts Brolga topatrol the fence, and he takes in a joey thathas been abandoned by its mother, whilefellow kangaroo carer Anne Marie gives abedraggled-looking infant a bath. As winterdraws in at the sanctuary, Brolga makes thelife-changing decision to move out.

PIERS MORGAN’S LIFESTORIES: JUNE BROWN9pm, ITVThe EastEnders actress chatsto Piers Morgan about herlife and career. She revealsthe challenges of jugglingwork with her home life,having given birth to six children in seven years.

8 OUT OF 10 CATS DOES COUNTDOWN9pm, Channel 4Jimmy Carr returns as host for four moreeditions of the comedy panel show’s version ofthe words-and-numbers quiz, as 8 Out of 10Cats team captains Sean Lock and JonRichardson are joined by guests from the worldof comedy and entertainment. Countdownregular Rachel Riley does the maths.

6.00 Tinie Tempah: The Hot Desk (R,S,HD).6.10 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 7.00 HolidayAirport: Orlando (R,S). 8.00 The Cube Olympicgold medallists Special (R,S,HD). 8.55 You’veBeen Framed! (R,S). 9.25 Britain’s Got MoreTalent: Most Amazing Moments (R,S,HD).10.25 Britain’s Got More Talent: LOLMoments (R,S,HD). 11.25 Britain’s Got MoreTalent: Cutest Moments Ever (R,S,HD). 12.30Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 1.30 You’ve BeenFramed! (R,S). 2.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show(R,S). 4.10 You’ve Been Framed! (R,S). 4.45Film: Junior (S,HD) (1994). Comedy, starringArnold Schwarzenegger.●●●

12.10 Two and a Half Men (R,S).12.40 MC Hammer’s Big ShotAcademy (R,S,HD). 1.40 TotallyBonkers Guinness WorldRecords (R,S,HD). 2.05 You’veBeen Framed! (R,S). 2.25Teleshopping. Home shopping.5.55 ITV2 Nightscreen (HD).

ROBSON’S EXTREMEFISHING CHALLENGE8pm, Channel 5Actor Robson Green returnsto face off against moreexpert fishermen fromaround the world. His firstdestination is Greenland,where he begins by trying to catch redfish.


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11.40 Two and a Half Men(R,S). 5/24. Charlieattends one of Jake’ssoccer games.

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6.00 Milkshake! 9.45 InsideHollywood (R). 9.55 The Dog Rescuers(R,S,HD). 10.20 Cowboy Builders(R,S,HD). 11.20 Eddie Stobart: Trucks andTrailers (R,S,HD). 12.20 5 NewsLunchtime (S,HD). 12.25 CSI: Miami(R,S). 1.15 Film: Doctor Zhivago (S).(1965) Epic drama, starring Omar Sharifand Julie Christie.●●●●● 5.00 5 Newsat 5 (S,HD). 5.30 Cowboy Builders(R,S,HD).

11.00 Celebrity Big Brother’s Biton the Side (HD). New series.EmmaWillis and Rylan Clarkpresent the CBB companionshow, finding out what thestudio audience think of thenew intake.

12.00 SuperCasino Live interactivegaming. 3.05 True CSI (S). The murder ofmodel Constantine Dean Milo. 3.50Motorsport Mundial (HD). A round-up ofmotorsport news. 4.20 House Doctor (R,S).4.45 Great Artists (R,S). 5.10 GreatScientists (R,S). 5.35 Wildlife SOS (R,S).

8 OUT OF 10 CATS DOES COUNTDOWN9pm, Channel 4Jimmy Carr returns as host for four moreeditions of the comedy panel show’s version ofthe words-and-numbers quiz, as 8 Out of 10Cats team captains Sean Lock and JonRichardson are joined by guests from the worldof comedy and entertainment. Countdownregular Rachel Riley does the maths.

6.00 Tinie Tempah: The Hot Desk (R,S,HD).6.10 Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 7.00 HolidayAirport: Orlando (R,S). 8.00 The Cube Olympicgold medallists Special (R,S,HD). 8.55 You’veBeen Framed! (R,S). 9.25 Britain’s Got MoreTalent: Most Amazing Moments (R,S,HD).10.25 Britain’s Got More Talent: LOLMoments (R,S,HD). 11.25 Britain’s Got MoreTalent: Cutest Moments Ever (R,S,HD). 12.30Emmerdale (R,S,HD). 1.30 You’ve BeenFramed! (R,S). 2.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show(R,S). 4.10 You’ve Been Framed! (R,S). 4.45Film: Junior (S,HD) (1994). Comedy, starringArnold Schwarzenegger.●●●

7.00 You’ve Been Framed!(R,S). Blunders on thebeach.

7.30 You’ve Been Framed!(R,S). Featuringtroublesome toys.


8.30 Two and a Half Men(R,S). 6/24. Charlieconsiders his treatmentof women.

12.10 Two and a Half Men (R,S).12.40 MC Hammer’s Big ShotAcademy (R,S,HD). 1.40 TotallyBonkers Guinness WorldRecords (R,S,HD). 2.05 You’veBeen Framed! (R,S). 2.25Teleshopping. Home shopping.5.55 ITV2 Nightscreen (HD).

9.00 GoldenEye (S,HD)(1995). James Bond goesin pursuit of a satelliteweapon that has falleninto the hands of amysterious criminalmastermind. Spyadventure, with PierceBrosnan, Sean Bean andFamke Janssen.●●●●



6.00 Switched (R,S). 6.25 90210(R,S,HD). 7.10 Ugly Betty (R,S,HD).8.00 Charmed (R,S). 9.00 Glee(R,S,HD). 10.00 Rules ofEngagement (R,S,HD). 10.30Rude(ish) Tube (R,S). 11.30 Charmed(R,S). 12.30 Hollyoaks (R,S,HD). 1.00How I Met Your Mother (R,S,HD).2.00 The Big Bang Theory (R,S,HD).3.00 Rude(ish) Tube (R,S). 4.00 Rulesof Engagement (R,S,HD). 5.00 How IMet Your Mother (R,S,HD).

7.00 Hollyoaks (S,HD).Carmel enlists an oldfriend to help her battleTheresa.

7.30 Ice Age (S,HD) (2002).Three mismatched

prehistoric animals faceperils and pitfalls as theytry to return a humanbaby to its tribe.Animated adventure,with the voices of JohnLeguizamo and RayRomano.●●●

12.15 The IT Crowd Manual(R,S,HD). 1.20 The Big BangTheory (R,S,HD). 2.15PhoneShop (R,S,HD). 2.40Facejacker (R,S,HD). 3.05 VeryImportant People (R,S,HD). 3.30Balls of Steel Australia (R,S).3.55 Glee (R,S,HD). 4.40 UglyBetty (R,S,HD).


6.30 The Simpsons (R,S).13/22. Homer illegallytaps into cable TV.

6.00 The Middle (R,S,HD). 6.30 Dog theBounty Hunter (R,S). 7.00 Airline (R,S).8.00 Sinbad (R,S,HD). 9.00 TheSimpsons (R,S). 9.30 Jane Horrocks’Little Cracker (R,S,HD). 9.45 Harry Hill’sLittle Cracker (R,S,HD). 10.00 Glee(R,S,HD). 12.00 The Simpsons (R,S).12.30 Modern Family (R,S,HD). 1.30The Middle (R,S,HD). 2.00 Football’sFunniest Moments (R,S). 3.00 Sinbad(R,S,HD). 5.00 The Simpsons (R,S,HD).5.30 Modern Family (R,S,HD).

7.00 The Simpsons (R,S,HD).21/22. Ned and Edna tiethe knot.

7.30 The Simpsons (R,S).12/22. With the guestvoice of Britney Spears.

8.00 Elf (S) (2003). SeeChoices above.●●●

10.50 Moonfleet (R,S,HD).2/2. John and Elzevir setsail for a new life inFrance, until they realiseBlackbeard’s locketcould lead them to thediamond. Conclusion ofthe adventure, starringRay Winstone.

1.05 A League of Their Own:Unseen – Part One (R,S,HD). 2.05Road Wars (S,HD). 3.05 RoadWars (S,HD). 4.00 Alan Davies’sLittle Cracker (R,S,HD). 4.15 JaneHorrocks’ Little Cracker (R,S,HD).4.30 Dog the Bounty Hunter(R,S). 5.00 Airline (R,HD). 5.30Airline (R,S,HD).

11.50 Spartacus: Blood andSand (R,S,HD). 12/13.Spartacus plots revengeagainst Batiatus.

9.50 Moonfleet (R,S,HD). 1/2.Ray Winstone stars in thistwo-part adaptation ofJohn Meade Falkner’s19th-century novelfollowing an orphan anda grizzled smugglerthrown together on adangerous quest.

6.05 Harry Hill’s TV Burp. 8.55Open All Hours (S). 9.35 Porridge(S). 10.15 The Vicar of Dibley (S).10.55 Outnumbered – TheChristmas Special (S). 11.50 Film:Thunderbirds (S) (2004). Sci-fiadventure.●● 1.50 Open AllHours (S). 2.30 Porridge (S). 3.10The Vicar of Dibley (S). 3.50Harry Hill’s TV Burp. 5.50 Film:Jack (1996). Comedy drama.●

8.00 One Foot in theAlgarve (S). Victor andMargaret encountermore than just sea andsand on a two-weekholiday in Portugal inthis feature-lengthspecial from 1993. Gueststarring Joan Sims andPeter Cook.

10.00 Outnumbered – TheChristmas Special (S).The family’s Christmas ismarred by burglars – anda missing hamster.

10.55 French and Saunders(S). Dawn French andJennifer Saundersperform sketches in this1998 Christmas editionof the show, featuring aspoof of the film Titanic.With guests HelenMirren and the SpiceGirls.

12.00 30 Years of Comic Strip (S).Celebration of the comedy team.2.00 A Child’s Christmases inWales. Festive comedy drama,starring Ruth Jones. 3.00 Close

7.00 Great MovieMistakes 2013(R,S,HD). Blundersin Hollywoodfilms.

7.30 The MadagascarPenguins in aChristmasCaper (R,S,HD).

7.40 Madagascar:Escape 2 Africa(S,HD) (2008).Animatedadventure, withthe voice of BenStiller.●●

9.00 Sherlock(R,S,HD). Holmesresurfacesas London comesunder threat ofterrorist attack.





12.10 Film: StarshipTroopers (S) (1997).●●●●2.05 Impractical Jokers(R,S,HD). 2.35 Snow, Sexand Suspicious Parents(R,S,HD). 3.35 GoingNative (R,S,HD).

7.00 World NewsToday; Weather.

7.30 Diamonds AreForever: TheDon BlackSongbook (HD).Lyricist Don Blackshares somefascinatinginsights into hislife’s work withMichael Grade, inbetweenperformances ofhis songs byeminentmusicians at TheRoyal FestivalHall.

9.00 The Story of Topof the Pops1979. A look backat a heady yearfor the chartshow.

10.00 Top of the Pops:1979 – Big Hits(HD).

11.00 The Old GreyWhistle Test:70s Gold (R).

12.30 The Story of Top ofthe Pops 1979 (R). 1.30Top of the Pops: 1979 –Big Hits (R,HD). 2.30Diamonds Are Forever:The Don Black Songbook(R,HD).


6.30 The Fantasy FootballClub (HD).

6.00 Good Morning Sports Fans(HD). 9.00 FL72 Preview. 10.00Scottish Premiership Football(HD). 11.00 Ringside Special (HD).12.00 The Rugby Club (HD). 1.00Premier League World (HD). 1.30Scottish Premiership Football(HD). 2.30 FL72 Preview. 3.30Premier League World (HD). 4.00Scottish Premiership Football(HD). 5.00 FL72 Preview.

7.30 FL72 Live (HD).Gillingham vWolverhamptonWanderers (Kick-off7.45pm). All the actionfrom the League Oneencounter at thePriestfield Stadium.

11.00 Football Gold. Classicaction.

11.15 Football Gold. Classicaction.


12.00 FL72 Highlights (HD).Gillingham vWolverhamptonWanderers. 1.00 The FantasyFootball Club (HD). 2.00 FootballGold. 2.15 Football Gold. 2.30Premier League World (HD). 3.00FL72 Highlights (HD). 4.00 TheFantasy Football Club (HD). 5.00FL72 Highlights (HD).

10.00 The Fantasy FootballClub (HD). John Fendleyand Paul Merson presenta discussion on keyfantasy football issues, aswell as the weekend’sPremier League matches.

Two and a Half Men, 8pm Ice Age, 7.30pm Moonfleet, 9.50pm French and Saunders, 10.55pm FL72 Live, 7.30pm

ELF8pm, Sky1A man raised as an elfin Santa’s workshopretraces his humanroots, but is unpreparedfor life in the Big Apple.Fantasy comedy,starring Will Ferrell.

DRIVE10pm, BBC2A stuntman-turned-getaway driver tries toprotect a criminal’sfamily, only to get drawninto a conflict with theMafia. Crime drama,with Ryan Gosling.

ROBSON’S EXTREMEFISHING CHALLENGE8pm, Channel 5Actor Robson Green returnsto face off against moreexpert fishermen fromaround the world. His firstdestination is Greenland,where he begins by trying to catch redfish.

CELEBRITY BIG BROTHER: LIVE LAUNCH9pm, Channel 5The fly-on-the-wall fun begins once more asEmma Willis invites a fresh group of famousfaces to move in together and have their everyword and move recorded for the enjoyment ofthe viewing public. Following the back-to-basics vibe of the previous series, the househas been given a high-class makeover.

11.10 The IT Crowd Special:The Internet IsComing (R,S,HD). Royand Jen’s reputationsare put at risk in thefinal episode.


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9.10 Hot Tub Time Machine(S,HD) (2010). Threeunhappy friends travelback in time to theiryouth in 1986 and aretempted to givethemselves the lives theyalways wanted. Sci-ficomedy, starring JohnCusack and Clark Duke.●●●

FRIDAY

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The Weekend 07 February 2014