“THE VISITOR”

BY RIAMA

A SUPERNATURAL FANFICTION.

2009

SUMMARY: ONE NIGHT A NOT-SO-UNKNOWN STRANGER

SHOWS UP AT MISSOURI MOSSLEY’S DOORSTEP. WHO IS

THIS PERSON? WHAT’S HER CONNECTION WITH THE

WINCHESTERS? IS SHE A PART OF GOD’S PLAN?

AU SET AFTER “ON THE HEAD OF A PIN”.

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CHAPTER 1

Missouri was busy getting ready for an imminent visit. She was used to

this kind of visits: she would feel someone was coming days before it

actually happened, so this wasn’t new to her.

What was new was the kind of visitor she was expecting this time.

She looked at her watch: 9 p.m. It was getting late.

She made a mental list:

Bedroom upstairs ready: checked.

Clothes: checked.

Food: checked.

Calling the Winchesters: maybe later…

She hadn’t heard a word from them in a couple of years, not since their

visit to Lawrence.

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Sure she had heard (and sensed) what had happened to them since

then: John’s death, Sam’s death and his resurrection, Dean’s deal,

Dean’s horrible death, his time in Hell and his miraculous return… She

still had nightmares from some of that.

And of course she knew something big was going on. Something huge

that was beyond her knowledge and abilities.

She knew that something in Sam had changed (and was still changing)

and that Dean wasn’t the same. She could feel their energies and it

scared her big time. She could sense a dark strength growing inside

Sam, and something she could only describe as sorrow inside the eldest

brother. They needed help and fast, and she hoped that this visit had

something to do with that.

Her mental rambling was interrupted by a knock at her door. A weak

noise, almost shy.

She took a deep breath and unwrinkled her clothes. Missouri took a

last look around and, satisfied with her work, she went to the door and

opened it.

Outside there was a woman. Long blond hair. Probably in her thirties.

She wasn’t wearing any clothes and she was shivering from the cold. It

was winter and in Kansas that meant cold nights. She looked scared and

lost. And all the nervousness Missouri had been feeling before turned

immediately into sympathy towards the younger woman.

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Smiling in was she was hoping to be a comforting way she stepped

toward her and, placing an arm around her bare shoulders, she invited

the stranger into her home.

- Mary, honey, come in. You must be freezing out there.

Familiar hazel eyes looked at her suspiciously, but she complied anyway.

CHAPTER 2 “What’s today’s date?”

Missouri guided Mary Winchester to the nearest sofa and wrapped her

up in an afghan.

Mary Winchester! She couldn’t believe she was really there. After all

this years she thought she knew the woman, but she didn’t know her, only

her memory. She was a completely stranger to her.

Missouri changed immediately into mother hen mode and went to the

kitchen to fetch something to drink for the poor woman. She turned up

the heating, picked the clothes she had prepared for her…

- What’s going on? How do you know me?

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Those were her first words since her arrival. Crap, those were her first

words in 25 years! The simple question stopped Missouri dead on her

tracks, because there was no simple answer for that. She looked back at

her, Mary was looking at her with suspicion, already on alert. She didn’t

look weak and lost anymore. “Once a hunter, always a hunter”, the

psychic thought smiling.

She sighed and sat heavily on a couch in front of Mary.

- My name is Missouri Mossley, I’m a psychic. I know you were

raised among hunters so you’ll have no problems believing me.

Mary looked startled. How could this stranger know so much about her?

How when she had tried so hard to leave that life behind, to keep John

and the boys away from it?

- What’s the last thing you remember?

- I’m not sure, she replied stubbornly.

- Okay, let’s try something different. What’s today’s date?

Mary furrowed her forehead, thinking hard. Now, looking at her closer,

she could see Dean in his mother’s features. The fair complexion, the

eyes, the freckles, the same lips…

- I know we are in 1983… around November I think, we’ve been

looking for Sammy’s first Christmas present…

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She looked up at Missouri, suddenly remembering something.

Somehow terrified.

- Sammy! The demon, he… he was in his nursery! I can’t believe I

forgot that! He was standing over his crib…bleeding on him… He

came back as he promised to take my baby!

Mary was crying now, feeling powerless, knowing that she couldn’t help

her son. Missouri sat down besides Mary hugging her. Her heart was

breaking for the younger woman, she could feel her anguish.

- Sshhh. It’s okay honey. Tell me what else you remember.

- I scream. Suddenly I was on the ceiling…I… I knew I was dying…. It

hurt so bad…The demon disappeared and I could see Sammy in

his crib and…

Her eyes went huge when she remembered something else.

- What is it?

- Dean… oh my God, I saw Dean… He was by the door…. My poor

baby, he was terrified. Then he run away and…. The next thing I

know is that I’m at your doorstep freezing my ass.

She smirked through the tears. “So much like Dean”, Missouri thought.

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- You have to help me - she implored- you have to help me save my

boys. Maybe it is not too late; our house is not far from here…

- Mary, you have to calm down. They are fine.

- How do you know that? How can you be so sure? John was

sleeping downstairs, maybe he still is and my boys are all alone and

scared…

- Mary, you have to listen to me now, ok? I have to tell you

something, it’s not gonna be easy to believe but you have to trust

me, ok?

She nodded.

- Today’s 15th of March of 2009, Mary. You’ve been dead for

more than 25 years now.

CHAPTER 3 “Pie”

Mary couldn’t believe Missouri’s words. No, scratch that, she didn’t

want to believe what she said. That couldn’t be true but it made sense.

She wouldn’t admit it, but it made sense. After all she was sure she was

dying back in Sammy’s nursery and suddenly she was in front of a

stranger’s house, naked, unharmed, without a scratch, with no memory of

how she got there in the first place.

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But, almost 26 years??? That was wrong. That meant that she had

missed her sons' lives, they probably didn’t remember her anymore. After

all Sammy was still a baby back then and he was 26 years old now. 26

years old and a complete stranger to her. And Dean… he remember him

with that mop of blond hair almost covering those big green eyes of his,

smiling up at her.

He was a 30 year old now… He was a grown up man. They probably

had their own families now, their own kids, and they would be able to see

them grow up… And John? Had he got married again? She shook her

head, she couldn’t think about that, it hurt too much. It was too much.

Missouri could see the inner struggle in Mary’s eyes. She could see she

needed a break.

- Mary, honey. Why don’t you go upstairs and take a shower? It’ll

be good for you.

She helped her up and guided her to the stairs.

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- I’ve left some clothes for you up there. They don’t fit me anymore

so they’re all your now- She winked at Mary and she got a small

smile in return.

She watched her making her way up the stairs with her hand on her hips.

- I’ll fix some dinner for you.

Mary nodded absently and continued her way towards the bathroom.

When she heard the door close, Missouri gave a small sigh and made her

way into the kitchen.

She pulled a tin box from one of the drawers and, placing it on the table;

she opened it and took a look at its contents: a picture.

A picture of Dean and Sam during their first visit to Missouri’s a

couple of months after Mary’s death. Dean was 5 years old when it was

taken, and Sam (Sammy back then) was almost a year old. Dean was

holding his brother on his lap, looking at the camera as if he didn’t trust

its intentions. Little Sam was smiling innocently, proudly showing his

first teeth to the camera.

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She was sure Mary would like to have that picture, but it was a pity she

didn’t have some up-to-date photos to show her how handsome her little

boys had grown into.

*

*

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When Mary made her way downstairs she was feeling a lot better. She

was overwhelmed by the situation, but after a shower and wearing clean

clothes she was feeling like a whole new person. And the delicious smells

coming from the kitchen weren’t hurting either.

She walked into the kitchen to see that the table had been set and

Missouri was serving the food: smashed potatoes, chicken and salad.

Perfect timing?

- Well? Are you gonna stay there all day looking at the food or are

you actually going to eat it?

Mary sat down and so did Missouri.

- I have something for you- said Missouri, reaching for the picture- I

thought you would like to have this.

She handed Mary the boys’ photo and a tear rolled down her cheek at

the sight of her kids. She caressed the picture, her heart breaking

because she couldn’t do that for real.

- My babies…

She looked up at Missouri.

- When was this taken?

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- A couple of months after your death. Not long after Dean’s

birthday.

Missouri could see the love and longing in the way Mary looked at the

picture, the tenderness in the way she ran her fingers over the boys

faces.

- Look at Sammy, he is so big! And Dean, he looks so… sad.

- Oh, honey, he was. For months he didn’t say a word. John was so

worried; it scared him that he wouldn’t speak again. When you told

me that he had seen you I understood why. Poor baby…

Noticing that he was hurting Mary with that information, she changed

tactics.

- Do you know what his first word was?

Mary shook her head.

- Pie.

Both women looked at each other for a second, before bursting out

laughing.

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CHAPTER 4 “Hunting and demoniac deals.”

After dinner Missouri and Mary sat down around the kitchen table, a

mug of hot chocolate in their hands. They were silent. Mary thinking

about all the questions she was afraid to ask, and Missouri waiting for

her to ask.

Mary looked up from her mug, firm resolution in her eyes.

- Tell me what happened after my death, Missouri.

Missouri sighed. It was going to be a long night and she had to be

careful with her words. Mary needed the truth but there was too much

information.

- John knew that you were killed by something “strange”, not human.

He saw the demon, he saw his eyes… He saw you pinned on the

ceiling, the sudden fire. ..So he did some research. He came to me

and I told him that he was right, that something evil had killed you.

That’s when I met your boys, and that’s how John started

hunting.

Mary’s eyes went wide. She couldn’t believe that. John? A hunter? Her

sweet John?

- He started hunting? What about the boys?

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Missouri nodded.

- Yes, he did. A few weeks after that picture was taken, he took the

boys and left. He started hunting and, girl I have to tell you, John

Winchester became the best hunter out there. Respected and

hated in the same way.

Mary was crying. She had tried to leave that life behind, to keep her

family away from all the supernatural, and was HER death what forced

them into that world?

- What… what about the kids?

- John used to stop by twice… three times a year. He wanted to

know if I had anything new about what killed you. So basically

everything I know is what he used to tell me in his visits.

- I think that John trained Dean to be a soldier, but he tried to

keep Sam out of it, to protect him. They moved a lot, spending

only a few months or weeks in each place. While he went hunting

he would leave the boys alone, so basically Dean raised Sammy.

Eventually Sam found out so the three of them started hunting

together.

- I never wanted that life for my kids, or for John. It was my fault.

- No, honey, it wasn’t. It wasn’t your fault dying. It was that demon’s

fault. John was obsessed with killing it, you know?

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- And did he?

Missouri smiled at her.

- Dean did.

Mary felt a lot of things at the same time. Guilt, pain, pity, … pride.

Pride? She was proud of Dean because he had KILLED? That made

her sick.

- Tell me about my boys, Missouri. Forget about the hunt.

Missouri nodded, she understood her perfectly.

- Well Sam is the independent one, you know? He never liked

hunting, so at 17 he left home and went to Standford. That boy

has brains, I can tell you. He is sensitive, well mannered and

sensible. He and John, they didn’t get along, they were too much

alike, too stubborn, you know? He always wanted normal.

Mary could understand that. She had felt the same way while growing

up, and she was glad her little boy had escaped from that.

- But he left college and went back to hunting. Looong story. She

doesn’t need to know about Sammy’s girlfriend.

- What about Dean?

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- That boy … Missouri laughed heartly- …he is trouble, I can tell

you, specially with girls.

Missouri winked at her and Mary laughed. She always knew he would

be handsome.

- He worshipped John and he is Sam’s protector since the night

you died. He loves hunting, is the only thing he knows. He smarter

than the looks, that for sure. And he is a good man over all. You

can be proud.

- You said “worshipped”. That means that John…?

She couldn’t say the words. She felt a pressure on her chest and

suddenly she couldn’t breath.

- I’m sorry honey. He died a couple years ago. – She took Mary’s

hand, trying to help her with her pain- He gave his life for Dean.

- For Dean?

- He made a deal to save Dean’s life. He gave his soul, but I can tell

you that he is no longer in the pit. I sense he is up there.

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She was immensely relieved to know that John had been saved, but now

she knew that she wouldn’t see him again and that was killing her. John

was everything to her. He had been since high school. He had been her

best friend, her partner, her confident… the father of her children. And

she missed him terribly.

She only had to look at Missouri to know that there was more.

- Tell me Missouri, I know that you are keeping something.

- It’s Dean. He… he made a deal too, this one to save his brother’s

life. They gave him a year and…

What’s with the men of my family and demoniac deals?

- And…? Come on Missouri, I know there’s more. Spill it.

- He was sent to hell seven months ago.

- Are you telling me that MY son…. MY little boy… MY angel… is

in Hell???

- Not anymore by what I can tell. Three months ago I started

feeling him again. I can’t explain it. I don’t know how that ´s

possible or who did it, but he is among us again.

And it worries me, but she didn’t say that. Mary was already worried,

scared and overwhelmed by the situation.

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- I think we should go to bed. It’s late, you’ve been through a lot and

you need the rest.

Mary nodded absently. Unable to form words while her mind was

replaying the events of the last hours, she simply followed Missouri to

the guest bedroom and laid on the bed. Before she knew it she fell into a

restless sleep full of memories and nightmares.

CHAPTER 5 “The boys are baaaaaack….”

She didn’t know what to expect on her first morning back into the world

of the living, and she didn’t know Missouri at all, but what she didn’t

expect was that instead of a morning greeting Missouri’s first words to

her were: “Your sons will be here in a couple of hours. I’m baking a pie.”

She stood at the kitchen’s doorway, still half asleep, frozen in place,

trying to digest the psychic’s words.

- You called them?

Missouri was by the kitchen counter, too busy cooking to look at Mary.

She haven’t even turned when the younger woman walked through the

door.

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- There was no need, they were already on their way here. That’s

how it works. Sometimes that happens. Maybe it’s just a

coincidence, maybe it’s fate or part of a plan. Who knows.

She continued humming happily while working on the apple pie she was

currently preparing.

- Do they know about…me?

- No.

- But, you talked to them, right?

- No.

Missouri didn’t even look up to answer.

Suddenly Mary was nervous and scared. Missouri turned and looked

at her in the eye, the pie momentarily forgotten.

- Honey, it’s natural to be afraid. But don’t forget that they are

your sons and they love you.

Mary nodded, she wasn’t so sure about that though. Hell, she didn’t

even know if they would remember her. Love? How could they LOVE

her? She was practically a stranger to them, she was a completely

stranger to Sammy…

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Missouri could feel her uneasiness and tried to lighten up the mood.

- Sure, they’re gonna try a few Christoes and holly water on you…

They both smirked.

A couple of hours later both women were ready. The only sound

present was the tic-toc of the wall clock. They were sitting nervously

waiting in Missouri’s living room. Well, only one of them was nervous.

Mary was sitting very still, on the edge of the couch, practically bouncing

in her seat, fidgeting with her hair and the dress Missouri had nicely lend

to her. It’s vintage, the woman had said laughing. She had no idea what it

meant...

The familiar roar of a car made Mary bolt from her seat, while Missouri

took her time to slowly get up. The Impala. She had completely

forgotten about it, but its familiar sound she could recognise anywhere.

- Okay, I think it’s better if you stay here while I talk to them.

Missouri hurried out of the living room towards the main door and walked

out of the house closing the door behind her, leaving Mary alone with

her thoughts.

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She felt sick, physically sick thinking that her sons were a merely few

feet from her. Thinking that she was about to see them, to meet them to

be exact. Meet two grown men that were without doubt very different

from the babies she had tucked in bed two nights ago (Ha! More like

two nights and 25 years!). She sat down, stood up again, sat down once

again and... she stood up, more like jumped from the couch, when she

heard a deep voice coming from outside. Oh my God! That’s them??!

Missouri stood at her porch, hands on her hips, watching the two men

making their way from their car. She noticed something different

immediately: Sam was the one driving the Impala. That was... unusual.

Sam looked different, felt different to her. Stronger maybe. He carried

himself with a confidence he had lacked before. Maybe he had matured

but...

And Dean... Oh poor baby... Missouri’s heart broke when she sensed

the eldest brother. Sure, he looked tired, but she could sense it was not

only physical exhaustion. He was... tired of fighting... tired of... living?

But she didn’t let her emotions show.

- Well, well, well... Look at that!- she greeted cheerfully- Didn’t I tell

you not to be strangers?

That earned her a honest smile from Sam and a shy smirk from Dean.

She hugged both brothers, spending an extra seconds in Dean, trying

to give him comfort.

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- I’m glad you’re back. Everything will be fine- she whispered in his

ear.

She looked up at them, hands on her hips, Dean uncomfortable under

her stare.

- Well, to what do I own the pleasure?

The brothers looked at each other. Well, more like Sam looked at

Dean and Dean looked at the ground, suddenly finding a particular

spot really interesting.

Sam spoke.

- To sum up: an angel told us to come here.

Missouri cocked an eyebrow. Well, that was new... but true.

- And did that... angel... tell you why?

Sam shook his head.

- Do you know why?- he asked.

- I might.

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Dean looked at her with sudden interest, and with the same suspicion

she had seen in his mother’s eyes the night before. He had been totally

silent since their arrival, she noticed.

She sighed and looked at both boys in the eye. There was no easy way

to start this conversation.

- Well... last night somebody arrived to my house.

Dean’s eyes went immediately to the windows behind her, looking for

confirmation that there was indeed somebody in there.

- Somebody I thought had been dead for a loooong time. I think –

she looked at Dean- that the same thing that pulled you out might

be behind this.

- Aggh, for God’s sake Missouri! Tell us already!

Missouri looked at Sam angrily.

- Watch your mouth, boy! This is not easy for me!

Sam seemed to have shrunk a few inches and looked at Missouri

sheepishly.

- Sorry- he apologised.

Missouri took a deep breath and spoke.

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- Your mother. She is the person that came to me last night.

To say that the Winchesters looked shocked was far from the truth.

Missouri looked at them, waiting for a response. They were gaping at

Missouri, Sam trying to form words that he couldn’t find. But it was

Dean the first one to speak.

- Mom?

Missouri looked at him tenderly and nodded.

- Yes, sweetie, your mom. And she’s been waiting for you for hours,

the woman is getting crazy in there.

Sam smiled happily and made his way to the main door as fast as he

could, but stopped as soon as he felt that his older brother wasn’t

following. He looked over his shoulder.

- Dean?

Both Missouri and Sam looked at him worriedly. He was looking at the

ground again, his expression clearly troubled, as if he was trying to

decide something.

- I can’t – he finally said in a small voice.

- What?? – Sam couldn’t believe his ears.

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- I can’t see her... I can’t let she see me... not like this... she’ll be

disappointed.

Neither Sam nor Missouri had time to reply to that. He turned, made

his way to the car as fast as he could and left.

CHAPTER 6 “Sammy”

She couldn’t take it anymore, what was taking them so long? She was

tired of pacing.

Maybe they didn’t want to see her, she could understand that. Why

would they want her in their lives again? After all, they had lived

practically their whole life without her.

They weren’t children anymore, they didn’t need her anymore… That

thought made her sad. Knowing that they needed her, that she was

needed, used to be the most important part of each day since they were

born. She missed being there in times when they probably needed her

the most over all those years. She felt she had betrayed her sons. She

felt … empty.

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She heard the main door and fast footsteps coming closer. Sure

enough, a few seconds later a tall man walked into the living room

followed by Missouri. A really tall man.

He stopped at the doorway. The look in his eyes when he saw her was a

mixture of sadness and happiness she thought impossible. He took a

step towards her, trying to decide what to do next.

Missouri looked between the two Winchesters, unsure of her role in this

particular meeting.

- Mary, this is…

Mary approached the man, nervousness and doubts suddenly forgotten

and, always looking in the eye, she touched his face.

It was then, in that exact moment, when for a few seconds she saw the six

months old baby he once was inside the 6’4 man in front of her.

- Sammy…

And that simple word, softly whispered with so much love, was all he

needed to break down and cry like the baby he was two days before. He

embraced his mom, a little awkwardly because of the height difference.

And there they stood, embraced silently, wordlessly, for a few minutes.

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Missouri watched the scene, sharing a few tears too, not wanting to

interrupt.

Sam broke the hug but didn’t let her go, he was still holding her hand.

He brushed the tears from his eyes with his free hand. He sighed and

looked at his mom. His mom!

- Mom.

She nodded, smiling through the tears. Immensely happy now that she

knew that he wasn’t rejecting her.

- Oh Sammy… look at you! Two days ago you were a baby and

now…

It was weird talking to him like an adult.

- Two days ago?

He frowned and looked at Missouri, looking for an answer, and then at

his mom again.

Missouri knew it was her task to explain.

- Her last memories are from the night of the fire, Sam. For her that

was two days ago.

- And you remember… everything that happened?

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- If you mean the demon and what he did to you… yes, I do

remember. And I’m so sorry Sammy, it was my…

Sam shook his head.

- Don’t ever say it, Mom – The word was strange in his mouth. – I

know what happened with the demon, and it wasn’t your fault at all.

You did what you thought was the right thing .- He continued

softly. – I don’t blame you.

- Thanks Sammy, that means a lot to me.

She let his hand and looked behind him. When she didn’t find what she

was looking for she looked at Missouri. Sam and Missouri exchanged

worried glances.

- I’m sorry Mary. The boy wasn’t ready. But he’ll come back…

eventually.

CHAPTER 7: “Dejà vu”

It was late, around midnight. The full moon illuminating the earth. The

house was quiet. Missouri and Sam were already asleep , and Mary

Winchester was the only awake occupant of the house.

It had been a really exhausting day. Happy, but exhausting.

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She had spent half of the day with her son, getting to know him all over

again. And the other half worrying about her eldest. He wasn’t

answering his phone (Mobile phones! What an awesome invention! But

what was the point if he wasn’t answering?). He had left his car behind, a

really worrying sign according to Sam, but he probably wasn’t very far.

“He will come back… eventually”, had said a confident Missouri.

*

*

*

She stood in front of a window. Arms crossed and brow furrowed. She

had a lot in mind and couldn’t stop thinking.

- He will be alright.

The sudden noise startled her. She turned around and saw a figure by

the door. The room was dark so she couldn’t see his face.

- Dean?, she asked hopefully.

The stranger took a step towards her and into the pale light of the

moon. It was then she could finally see his features.

It was a man, he was probably in his early thirties. Dark hair, blue eyes

and an cold expression on his face. He was wearing a raincoat and a tie.

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- I am not… Dean.

- Who the hell are you?

The man cocked his head and looked at her with curiosity..

- You haven’t changed, Mary.

He approached her and when the moonlight created a shadow behind

him, she could clearly see two huge black wings on his back.

- Castiel, she whispered. I can’t believe I forgot…

Talking about déjà vu…

*

*

*

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Lawrence, Kansas

1977

Mary Winchester is so happy she could explode. Well, anyways she is

about to pop. Almost 8 months pregnant and can’t wait to meet her son.

And all she can do is wait, that’s it, wait and get ready for his arrival.

His. She is sure it is a boy. She is about to bring another Winchester

man into her life and she couldn’t be happier.

At the same time she can feel worry growing inside her. Each day she is

closer to the end of the deal. She puts her hands protectively around

her swollen stomach trying to transmit her love to the little being growing

inside her. Her baby. John’s son. She knows she won’t have the time to

see him grow up and that’s killing her. The very thought of it makes her

sick… John doesn’t know, and she wants to keep it that way.

She is lost on her thoughts. She is sitting on a chair on her son’s room.

The lights are out and she is looking through the window when a noise

startles her.

- John?

- My name is not John, the stranger says.

She is on her feet in an instant, trying to find some sort of weapon in the

nursery while she studies the man in front of her.

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- Mary Winchester, my name is Castiel, I’m an angel of the Lord

and I am here to transmit his message.

Mary chuckled. An angel? That was something new.

The “angel” took a step closer to Mary and she could see him clearly for

the first time. It was a ordinary man, maybe in his fifties. Graying hair,

jeans and flannel shirt. Like half of the farmers in Lawrence.

- I see you don’t believe my word.

Then a flash of lighting crossed the sky above the house and the angel’s

wings were visible for a few seconds.

Mary let out a shaky breath.

- Oh God…

- Yes, that’s why I’m here. Mary Winchester, you have a mission.

She sat down again, hands protecting her son, eyes never leaving the

celestial creature.

- Someday your son will be the one to save the world Mary, and for

that purpose he will need to be special.

- What do you mean “special”?

- Your son will be an angel of the Lord, Mary. A warrior of

Heaven’s army. He will have a human soul and angel’s grace. But

to protect him, said grace would need to be kept safe until the time

comes. And that, Mary, will be your job.

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Mary sat speechless, trying to digest all the information. She opened

her mouth to speak but no words came, so she just stayed there gaping

like a fish out of water.

Castiel looked at her, confused.

- Maybe I was too… blunt. You humans get overwhelmed easily.

Mary was flooded with an enormous sadness. Her wish of a happy and

normal life for her and her family forgotten.

- Does it have to be him?, her voice broke on the last words. She

knew she sounded like a whiny little kid

- Yes Mary. I understand this has to be… hard on you, but it’s his

destiny.

She nodded and looked down, weighing her options. After a couple of

minutes she looked up at Castiel.

- Okay, what do I have to do.

- Nothing in fact. Your son’s grace will be tied to your soul. You

need to keep it for a while. When the time comes when he needs it,

you’ll know it.

- But I…

- God knows about the deal you made with that demon, and he

knows it was a proof of your love. He is not angry at you, Mary.

Mary felt a tear falling down her cheek. She had never been a religious

person. Being a hunter did not leave time for that kind of thing. But

knowing that God knew who she was, knowing that He had forgiven her

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for making a deal with a demon, knowing He had forgiven her sin, made

her feel at peace.

- But … I’ll be dead

- Mary. Souls never die. Your son’s grace will be safe with you. It

will be fine.

After another moment of silence she spoke again.

- Will he be normal? I mean… no wings or halo, right? The last thing

he’s gonna need is kids picking on him at school.

She laughed.

- Don’t worry. He will be a good man.

Her eyes watered thinking about that good man she would never meet.

- Now I must go. We’ll see each other in a few years, Mary.

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CHAPTER 8: “Conversations”

Lawrence, Kansas

2009

Missouri’s living room

*

*

She couldn’t believe she had forgotten about Castiel. More than that,

she couldn’t believe she had forgotten about God’s plans for her eldest

son.

Maybe it was one of the perks of being resuscitated, maybe she wasn’t

completely herself yet. Maybe a resuscitation had phases, like a

NASA project. Something like “phase 1: body”, “phase 2: body

functions”, “phase 3: memories”, “phase 4: where the hell is my sense of

humor?”…

She looked at the man in front her, so different and at the same time so

similar to the man she had met three decades before.

- So… the time has arrived, she stated.

Castiel nodded, never breaking eye contact. She felt like an insect

under the microscope, and suddenly self conscious of her almost see-

through night gown.

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- Yes it has. But I’m afraid Dean is not…. ready yet.

She didn’t like the sound of that.

- What do you mean with that?

Castiel opened his mouth to reply but a deep voice interrupted them.

- What the hell is he doing here?!

There stood Sammy, straightened to all his height, looking menacing

and really really angry.

Scary was something she never thought would one day describe her

baby son, but he really was. Standing there by the door, angry like she

had never seen him before, she thought about their early conversation.

“I can feel something inside me, Mom. I can feel something…. evil growing

inside me. I hate it but I can’t fight it. It’s getting stronger and harder for

me to resist to it…”

She could see that “evil” he had been talking about. She was scared

but obviously Castiel wasn’t.

The angel looked between the two Winchesters and, seeing that he

wasn’t welcomed, he disappeared.

*

*

*

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Somewhere in Lawrence…

*

*

A figure sat crossed legged under a tree looking pensive at the blue

house in front him. Beer in hand, he had been there for over a hour. It

was late so he didn’t think he need to worry about neighbours calling the

police about him. Well, he didn’t care anyway. Angels had no problem

pulling him out of Hell, so getting him out of jail wouldn’t probably be

too hard.

Looking at the house in front of him, his home once, he had been trying

to remember all the happy moments he had lived there. He found himself

remembering things he had thought long forgotten. The truth is he had

been trying to block all those memories from his “other” life since he was

a kid. Those had hurt in the past, but know they felt strangely

comforting.

- Imagine how the real deal would feel?

Amazingly enough he wasn’t surprised by Castiel this time. Maybe it

was the beer… He didn’t turn to the voice.

- And how would you know that?, he spat.

- She’s been waiting for you. She’s… worried about you.

And he surprised himself once again when he found out that he didn’t

want to worry his mom

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Missouri’s living room

*

*

Castiel sudden departure had left an uncomfortable silence in the room.

Only Sam’s deep breaths were heard. He was trying to calm himself

down.

When she thought it was safe to talk she tried to find her son’s eyes with

her own.

- What had just happened?

Sam looked at the floor embarrassed and, hands in his jeans pockets, he

gave her mom his best puppy-dog eyes.

- What do you mean?

She reciprocated him with a “Mom knows best” look. Well, at least he

thought it was one of those. He had never seen one before.

He looked away, he seemed utterly embarrassed. He changed in a

instants from “6’4-killing-machine” mode to “my-dog-ate-my-homework-

and-you-know-I’m-lying” mode. He’d been caught.

Mary smirked. “I still got it!”

- He hurt Dean, he whispered.

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Suddenly the worn-out rug under his feet was incredibly interesting.

Was it grey? Was it brown? World would never find out… He knew he

sounded like a brat whose dog had been kicked.

He said so low that she thought she had just imagined it.

- What do you mean with “hurt”?Sam sighed.

Mary knew it was gonna be a long talk. And that was indeed confirmed

when Sam took her arm and guided her to the nearest couch. They sat

next to each other. Half turned so they were kind of facing each other.

- You know about Dean’s time in Hell, right?

He looked into his mother’s eyes looking for an answer. She simply

nodded.

- He spent four months… down there. And… you know…. Four

months in Hell are like… like…

- Forty years, Mary finished for him.

If her heart hadn't been broken before, this was the moment it broke.

When she finally realized what her son had been through.

- Dean said he didn’t remember a thing about that time... I should’ve

known he was lying… he had changed.

- In what way?

- You see, he usually is like this… this cocky, arrogant, confident

guy… he thinks he is indestructible and… irresistible…

Mary smiled through tears she hadn’t realized were falling.

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- But when he came back… something was off, you know? I didn’t

notice it at first, but it’s been getting more obvious.

Mary nodded, finally understanding what Castiel had meant with “not

ready yet”.

- What did Castiel do?

- He was the one to pull Dean out of Hell and, don’t get me wrong,

I’m grateful for that, but it had a price

- Price, she stated calmly. He could hear the question behind that

word.

- There was this demon… Alistair… he kind of “knew” Dean in Hell.

He paused, he had gotten to the hardest part.

- A few weeks ago Alistair was captured by the angels. They were

looking for answers. They tried to make him talk, but they couldn’t.

That’s when they called Dean.

- What for?

A part of Sam felt like he was betraying his brother telling his mom

about this. After all, if it had been so hard for him to tell Sam, telling his

mother would probably be a hundred times worse. But he knew he was

making things easier for Dean somehow.

- During his time in Hell… during thirty years he was tortured, but

during the other 10…

Mary had read and learnt enough about Hell during her childhood to

know what Sam was trying to say.

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- He was the torturer, she whispered.

Sam nodded sadly.

- So when they needed someone to torture Alistair they thought

Dean would be their best option because of his… experience.

They basically made him do it. He didn’t want to, Mom. He really

didn’t want to be like that.

Mary tried to whip the tears that were now streaming down her cheeks.

- But the seal that was keeping Alistair broke and he almost killed

Dean.

He was trying hard not to cry in front of his mom.

- The worst is not what he did, but what he said.

- And what was that?

- Demons need to break 66 seals to start the Apocalypse. It is

written that the first seal shall be broken when a righteous man

sheds blood in Hell. As he breaks, so shall it break. That seal

needed to be broken before the others, it needed to be broken in

order to break the others. And Dean did it.

Mary was speechless.

*

*

*

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Missouri’s home

A couple of hours later…

*

*

Mary had tried to sleep. She really tried, honestly. But when she

couldn’t, she found out she was hungry. More like starving. She didn’t

want to bother Missouri and Sammy so she didn’t turn the lights on for

her little trip to the kitchen.

She made a beeline to the fridge and opened the door inspecting its

contents. She took a bowl of fried chicken and closed the door with her

hip. That’s when he noticed for the first time that somebody was sitting

at the kitchen table, head low.

In her surprise she let the bowl fall, making a loud noise and scattering all

the chicken on the kitchens floor.

- Castiel?, she asked carefully.

- My name is not Castiel, a husky voice replied.

She shakily reached for the light switch and, after the blinding effect

was over, she was face to face to a familiar pair of green eyes.

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CHAPTER 9 “The end?”

Lawrence, Kansas

October 1983

*

*

- What you doing, Mommy?

Mary was so busy with her task that she didn’t hear her eldest son

entering the kitchen.

She looked down at him. It was early in the morning so that explained the

Batman PJs he was wearing but… was that the bathroom’s curtain he

was using as a cape?

- What are you wearing, Dean?

She put her hands on her hips, trying to look angry. She knew she

hadn’t succeeded when he smiled at her. That smile of his could lit up a

room.

- I’m Batman, the four-year-old said confidently.

She laughed, she couldn’t help it if he was a cute kid.

She raised an eyebrow at him.

- Yeah, sure. You’re Batman.

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She picked him up and sat him on the kitchen counter where she was

working. She ruffled his blonde hair and he laughed. It was getting too

long.

- You need a haircut, angel.

He pouted.

- No.

His dad entered the kitchen in that moment, catching the last part of

their talk.

- S on, you don’t wanna look like a chick, do you? He asked, trying

not to laugh at his son’s serious expression. Mary elbowed him in

the ribs, slightly offended by the term “chick”.

Now Dean pouted and looked indignantly at his dad, crossing his little

arms.

- I’m not a chick.

Then he smiled mischievously and, raising his arms, he hollered.

- Cause I’M BATMAN!!!

That sent his parents into a fit of laughter, and woke little Sammy,

whose cries could now be heard.

- Great, John said. It took me a whole hour to put him to sleep.

He looked at Mary, giving her his best puppy-dog eyes.

- You’re breaking my heart, she stated.

- You are so cold, he said leaving the kitchen after a quick kiss.

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It was then when Dean finally realized what his mom had been doing.

His face lit up.

- You’re making pie!!! Can I help, peeeeease?

- No Dean. This one is for Mrs. Cooper.

Dean’s face turned into a scowl at the mention of their neighbour’s

name.

- Why a pie for her?

- Because you shaved her cat?

Dean was brooding now. He didn’t like Mrs. Cooper. After all, he was

helping the poor cat.

He remembered Tommy’s birthday when a chunk of bubblegum had

somehow ended on his head and Mom had to cut some of his hair to get

ridden of the gum. So when a can of glue had “accidentally” ended on

the poor feline, Dean thought that it was the safest option.

- And you, mister, are gonna take the pie to Mrs. Cooper’s and

apologize to her and her husband, ok?

- No, Mom! She mean! She don’t like me and ’s gonna hurt me!

Mary saw that her son was indeed scared of their neighbour.

- Dean, do you remember what I tell you every night?

He stubbornly looked away.

- Dean…

He sighed and rolled his eyes dramatically.

“That angels are watching over me…”, he replied bored.

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- That’s it Dean. Nobody can hurt you. Angels are watching over

you.

…

And how wrong she was…

*

*

Lawrence, Kansas

2009

Missouri’s kitchen

*

*

Mary let out the breath she didn’t realized she was holding.

There she was. Year 2009… (Ha! Stanley Kubrick, beat that!). It was

past 2 a.m. She was in the middle of some psychic’s kitchen, dressed in a

almost see-through white night gown, surrounded by pieces of fried

chicken. And that was the moment chosen to meet her son after 26

years.

There was no doubt it was him.

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The eyes… those freckles she thought would disappear with the years…

that angelic face…

His hair had gone darker with the years, and it was a lot shorter, and

there was stubble on his face too, but he was as handsome as she had

thought he would be someday. There was a half eaten of pie in front of

him. He was in jeans and T-shirt, but she could see John’s leather

jacket resting on a near chair. John.

- Dean…

He stood up and walked to his mother. He simply stood in front of her,

unsure about what to do next, unsure about how to act around her.

He looked so sad, so lost, so vulnerable, that it was breaking her heart.

He looked anywhere but at her. Mary took her cue from her son and,

taking his face in her hands, she looked into Dean’s eyes, trying to

reassure him. Their eyes met, and the feeling was so familiar, so

comfortable, so… right…

When his eyes started watering and his chin started trembling she knew

she had completed her task. She pulled her son in a much needed hug

and let him cry.

- “Shhh. It’s okay my angel. Mom is here now. Everything is gonna be

okay.”

*

*

*

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*

*

To be continued...