The Trials of a Common Pleas Judge, Chapter 2, And to Everyone’s Surprise

8/17/2019 The Trials of a Common Pleas Judge, Chapter 2, And to Everyone’s Surprise

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THE TRIALS OF A COMMON PLEAS JUDGE

THE HONORABLE MARK I. BERNSTEIN

PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA 2016


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CHAPTER TWO

AND TO EVERYONE’S SURPRISE

WHAT CONFUSION SHE must have experiencedwhen I asked her to identify herself and explain why she

was in my office. She responded with the exact samequestions of me. I told her I was Judge Bernstein androom 530 City Hall has been my office for over fiveyears. Since I was obviously discomforted by theconversation, Jenny, for that was the young lady’sname, became very solicitous and offered me a seat onplush benches in the chambers anteroom to regain mycomposure while she would fetch Judge Bachmann,who was fortuitously still in his office. During themoments it took for Judge Bachmann to appear, Inoticed that while the physical structure of the roomwas exactly as I had left it a few hours before, all thecomputers had been removed, and my pictures and


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THE TRIALS OF A COMMON PLEAS JUDGE 2

decorations had been replaced by much more expensiveoriginal lithographs, and an exquisite tapestry had beenhung from the ceiling, which totally transformed therectangular feel of the entire space. I had only begun towonder whether I had somehow mistakenly gone to thethird floor and to try to imagine which of our Judgeshad the resources and taste to so beautifully decoratesuch a chambers when Judge Bachmann appeared andasked if he could help me.

I assured him that I hoped he could begin by

explaining what had happened to and so dramaticallytransformed my office so quickly. He was completelytaken back by the question and asked if I had identifiedmyself as Judge Bernstein. I assured him that I was Judge Bernstein having been duly appointed and electedand in fact had served continuously, and, I might add,honorably, for over four years. Although apparentlyconfused by my response, he ushered me into my veryown office, which to my further surprise had beensimilarly redecorated in Victorian elegance. He invitedme to sit down on the couch so that we could get to the bottom of this very peculiar situation, which equallyintrigued us both.

I found Judge Bachmann to be classicallyeducated and most engaging. He inquired as to whetherI knew that I was in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, andasked for the history of how I became a Judge.Thinking back to this discussion I am sure that he believed I was one of those poor unfortunates whosedelusional world placed himself into an exalted role thatwas fully believed to be true but had of course no


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existence beyond the four corners of a disturbed mind.However, being of a mind ready to accept all evidence before judiciously reaching any conclusion, JudgeBachmann kindly allowed me to fully explain. Mydetailed explanation of how Governor Casey hadempanelled lawyers across the state to present to himthe most qualified individuals for appointment to a judiciary decimated by corruption intrigued him ratherthan convincing him that the medical authorities had to be called. I apparently also convinced him that,

whatever my delusions, the depth of my knowledge andacuity of judicial thought demonstrated that somethingtruly unusual had indeed occurred.

I explained that I had practiced law inPhiladelphia with offices at 16th and Walnut for over adecade doing primarily civil litigation and somecriminal defense until the city experienced ahorrendous situation where 16 judges had been thrownoff the bench for taking the petty sum of $300 ingratuities from a labor union, and three or four hadactually gone to jail because the gratuities could beconnected to actual judicial decisions. In response theGovernor had created “merit selection” panels whichhad recommended me among many others to judgeships, and that after confirmation by the Senate Itook the bench on April 7th and was elected for a fullten year term the following November. I went on toexplain that for three years I had presided overhundreds of criminal cases, many of which were benchtrials, until I had most recently been moved to thecourt’s civil division and was at that very time presiding


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in Courtroom 443 when I had left City Hall because ofthe syncopatic episode that I have previously described.He stopped me at this point and said that I must bemistaken because I could not have been confirmed inApril since the legislature, of which he had been amember for over a decade, routinely and uniformlymeets only January to March before breaking for thesummer. My quizzical look and taken aback demeanorundoubtedly conveyed such sense of shock that mylistener thought perhaps he had misheard. He again

asked when I had taken the bench, to which I repliedwith precision that I had been sworn in by the President Judge Bradley in room 578 City Hall on April 7, 1987,at 2:00 p.m.

Imagine the shock I saw in Judge Bachmann’s faceas he slowly realized that I was fully in control of all mysenses and not in any respect suffering any delusions.He went to his desk, picked up the evening Bulletin,and showed me the date on the masthead, which read July 3, 1913. I told him that of course this wasimpossible and the paper obviously a replica. But aftersome significant toing and froing we simultaneouslycame to the inevitable conclusion that somehow aftermy fall from my chair I had awakened 80 years earlier.

Judge Bachmann suggested that while we figuredout what was happening, since I was a fullycommissioned judge I should be treated to all theemoluments of my office (which I must say I learnedwere significantly greater in 1913 than 1993) and mostgraciously offered that I was more than welcome to stay


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frequently advise: “when life hands you a lemon makelemonade.”

I resolved to learn as much as I possibly couldabout 1913 and chuckled to myself as I unsuccessfullytried to recall for investment purposes when Xerox andIBM were incorporated and what industries were aboutto boom when World War would break out some fewyears hence. Unfortunately, these historical facts thatsuddenly became so important had never seemedworthy of note at any earlier time in my life, and except

for looking for the invention of the commercial airline Ifound I had little investment knowledge of any use,even with this potential opportunity for easy riches. (Idid think to note that if I was still in this predicament adecade later I must sell all my stocks before the greatdepression of 1927… or was it 1926?)

W ATCH FOR CHAPTER THREE JUNE 1, 2016

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The Trials of a Common Pleas Judge, Chapter 2, And to Everyone’s Surprise