Healthy Information from the Des Moines Pastoral Counseling Center JAN/FEB/MAR 2013

Non-Profit Org.U.S. Postage

PAIDPermit No. 644Des Moines, IA

is a publication of the Des Moines Pastoral Counseling Center, an independent, not-for-profit organization. Celebrating 40 years of ser-vice to adults, families, adolescents, and children for the purpose of enhancing emotional, spiritual, and relationship health. The Center has satellite offices in Ankeny, Lamoni, Leon, Mitchellville, Mt. Ayr and Osceola. Editor : Kathleen Murrin

2929 Westown Parkway, Suite 110 • West Des Moines, Iowa 50266

www.dmpcc.orgVisit the Center’s website for more information on the Center’s

counseling services and staff, special events and classes.

All of us have the ongoing need to heal and grow in our lives. Whether it is our awareness that we have emotional pain or that we could be more compassionate, we all have room for continual transformation. One proven way to bring about meaningful and positive changes in our life is to become a more grateful person. Since gratitude is something about which we can be intentional, exploring ways to deepen and broaden our sense of appreciation may be one of the most powerful ways to grow and heal. I had the unique privilege15 years ago to pursue a qualitative dissertation for my doctoral degree in psychology. I held focus groups with cancer patients who had advanced disease (i.e., either metastatic or recurrent), with the goal of determining what makes for a meaningful quality of life even in the midst of such difficulties and uncertainties. I learned a great deal from these wonderful people. Most importantly, they taught me that the answer to my quality of life question is:• to focus on what one has instead of what one doesn’t have • to focus on what one can do instead of what one cannot do. This particular learning was well integrated into two dominant life tasks: nurturing gratitude and living in the present.

So there you have the essence of my article: we can mindfully nurture gratitude in our lives, and when we do, we can experience a powerful transformation in the direction of healing and wholeness! Learning gratitudeDes Moines’ own James Autry emphasized this belief with the simplicity of the title of his new book: Choosing Gratitude: Learning to Love the Life You Have. As he wrote in his Introduction, “Gratitude doesn’t come naturally. We have to learn it…” and “Learning gratitude is a spiritual, not a social, process.” It is profound to consider gratitude as a choice and not simply a spontaneous experience.

“Give thanks in all circumstances.” (I Thessalonians 5:18) People of faith have often misinterpreted this brief verse as if there is a requirement to give thanks for all circumstances. Instead, the Apostle Paul was simply encouraging the early Church to continue to be grateful people “in the midst of” whatever situations they find themselves.

The Transformational Power of GratitudeThe Transformational Power of Gratitude ......................................................... Page 1C.O.O.L. Corner ...................................................................................................... Page 2Center’s Annual Meeting Announcement ........................................................... Page 2Women Helping Women Annual Luncheon ....................................................... Page 3Get Out of the Past (Part II) ................................................................................. Page 3Sacred Chaos ............................................................................................................ Page 3Enneagram B.S.B. ...................................................................................................... Page 4Make a Gift of Hope and Healing ......................................................................... Page 4Leaving Your Legacy ................................................................................................. Page 4

8553 Urbandale Avenue • Urbandale, Iowa 50322

Enneagram B.S.B. Easing the Patterns that Keep us Blocked, Stuck, and Broken in Relationships

Date: Friday, April 26, 2013Time: Check-in 8:30 - 9:00a.m./Workshop 9:00a.m - 4:00p.m.Location: Greenwood Room/Plymouth Church 4126 Ingersoll Ave., Des MoinesCost: $55.00Facilitator: Adele Ver SteegTo register: Contact Des Moines Pastoral Counseling Center (274-4006 or info@dmpcc.org)Registration deadline: April 24

The Enneagram is an ancient tool for facilitating psychological growth and spiritual transformation. Its wisdom provides a way for us to notice the habitual patterns of acting, thinking, and feeling that limit our experience. We’ll explore the nine distinctive types, the gifts and challenges each brings, and specific practices to open us to experiencing more freedom in all of our relationships.

Adele Ver Steeg is a spiritual director whose relationships have been less blocked, stuck, and broken since she started studying the Enneagram and

practicing contemplative prayer. This workshop is Sponsored by the Des Moines Pastoral Counseling Center and supported by the Center for Spiritual Growth at

Plymouth Church.

The Transformational Power of Gratitude

Benefits of being gratefulI am not suggesting a naïve, Pollyannaish, rose-colored glasses outlook on life. I am quite aware of how difficult and painful life can be at times. I am, however, suggesting that, even in the thick of facing life’s struggles, finding ways and reasons to be a grateful person provides important benefits. Here are just a few:

• Hope is maintained and pessimism is held at bay.

• We are reminded, with a sense of humility, how much of life’s goodness has to do with gifts over which we don’t have control.

• We have ongoing avenues to be connected with those around us. No matter what behaviors or beliefs tend to separate us from others, being a person of gratitude transcends those barriers that would otherwise alienate us from one another.

• Because gratitude and generosity have a strong correlation, we are better listeners, caregivers, and givers when we are grateful.

• Experiencing gratitude on the inside is likely to result in expressing gratitude on the outside; thus we will have positive messages to communicate to others.

• We understand better how to live in the moment – for being grateful is a powerful “here and now” experience. Even if we are reviewing a memory trace of an event from our past, the experience of gratitude is always right here and right now.

Nurturing GratitudeWhat are some of the ways we can nurture gratitude? Here are a few

ideas:

* “If you knew that you only had one week to live, what would you do with your time?” A friend of mine mentored me by saying that he would make a list of everyone to whom he owed a debt of gratitude and write them letters in his final days.

* I thought, “Why wait?” I made a list of 50 people in my life

Make a gift for hope and healing

There are individuals and families in our community struggling with life’s issues on very limited resources – experiencing pain, confusion and despair beyond what they can handle alone. For 40 years the Des Moines Pastoral Counseling Center has helped people through difficult times in their lives by offering high-quality, affordable mental health counseling to all. Your gift today can help. Your support can make a very real difference in someone’s life. Contact Kathleen Murrin (251-6644 or kmurrin@dmpcc.org) or mail your tax-deductible contribution to the Center.

Leaving Your Legacy

The ability to sustain the nurturing nature of the Center’s work into the future is also in your hands. Your planned gift to the Center’s FOUNDATION will ensure that the time and compassion required for real healing and growth will be available to future generations of our community. Contact Kathleen Murrin at the Center for more information on establishing your legacy in a meaningful way that will make a real difference.

32

who had given me gifts across my lifetime, and each weekend I wrote a letter of appreciation. What a powerful experience in my life! I hoped the letters would be a blessing to the recipients, but my primary goal was to experience what it would do in my own heart.

* When I turned 50, I went to Toys-R-Us and bought 1,300 marbles—the number of weeks until I turned 75, which is the average life expectancy for males. I put the marbles in a large, clear vase on the dresser in my bedroom. To this day, every Saturday morning I randomly take out one marble and put in my pocket. It is a reminder, whenever I pull it out during the week, of the finitude and preciousness of my life – the importance of being grateful for the gift of each day. If I have opportunity, I give the marble to someone (with a condensed story) or leave it at some unique place.

* In the New York Times at Thanksgiving of 2011, John Tierney wrote about the most recent psychological research on nurturing gratitude: “Cultivating an ‘attitude of gratitude’ has been linked to better health, sounder sleep, less anxiety and depression, higher long-term satisfaction with life and kinder behavior toward others, including romantic partners.” By doing something as simple as writing a brief list of five expressions in a weekly journal for eight weeks, the test group showed significant results over the control group. Just think what a daily gratitude journal might mean in a person’s life over the course of a year!

* In the everydayness of life, consider how to create those “sacred pauses” of gratitude, including in our relationship with the Holy Other as well as with other people. When we have those moments to express our appreciation to someone in person, linger just a little longer with our handshake, touch, eye contact, or speaking of a name. Allow that experience of gratitude to go from our heart to our body in a thoughtful, deliberative way. Slow down when writing the note, letter, or email of thanks. Again, not just for the recipient, but also for our own self.

Develop a practice of mindfulness In their book, Mindfulness: An Eight-Week Plan for Finding Peace in a Frantic World, Williams and Penman provide a rich understanding of being mindful. Live in the moment (instead of dwelling in the past or anticipating the future), make choices (instead of operating on autopilot), be accepting (instead of striving or judging), approach (instead of avoid), sense (instead of analyze).

When we are truly paying attention through the five senses (e.g., experiencing the beauty of a sunset, the taste of blueberry pie, the touch of a newborn baby, the sound of geese flying overhead, and the smell of a fresh orange), we can’t help but feel grateful for the many gifts that constantly surround our lives.

When we strengthen the capacity to be aware in the moment, we begin to see our lives, our future, and our world in new ways. When we are more intentional about nurturing gratitude in our lives, we transform our lives!

Mark Minear, Ph.D.

The Author: Mark Minear is a licensed psychologist at Des Moines Pastoral Counseling Center, working with adults on a wide variety of issues: depression, anxiety including trauma, loss and grief, transitions and adjustments, and spiritual concerns. He is also a recorded minister with the Religious Society of Friends (Quaker). Mark does neuropsychological assessments and has significant experience working with veterans’ issues, chronic health problems, couples counseling, and geriatric concerns. He has background in working with a variety of churches, denominations, and faith traditions, as well as with individual clergy in need of support.

ReferencesAutry, James A. (2012). Choosing Gratitude: Learning to Love the Life You Have. Macon, GA: Smyth and Helwys.Williams, Mark and Danny Penman. (2011). Mindfulness: An Eight-Week Plan for Finding Peace in a Frantic World. NY: Rodale Books.

C.O.O.L. CornerChildren Overcoming the Obstacles of Life

Keeping the Winter Blahs Away the C.O.O.L. Way

♥ Bundle up and play outside!

♥ Hot cider, hot chocolate, and hot lemonade are treat alternatives to soda pop.

♥ Bake cookies together.

♥ Turn off the electronics and turn on the board games.

♥ Set up a family jigsaw puzzle.

♥ Learn to play charades.

♥ Assign age-appropriate household chores to everyone.

♥ Go to bed earlier.

♥ Read to your children.

♥ Dust off an old classic.

♥ Get a new book that’s a little too difficult for your child to read independently.

♥ Read to each other.

♥ Change light bulbs in bathrooms and bedrooms to full- spectrum bulbs.

♥ Set up a craft / art area that allows for mess.

♥ Make your own Valentine cards

♥ Create opportunities for plenty of daytime physical activity ~ dancing, wrestling, swimming, indoor playgrounds.

♥ Encourage quiet on-your-own time with no distractions ~ just reading a book or writing a letter to grandparents or working

on an art project.

Please MARK YOUR CALENDAR:Join us for lunch on April 12th

Women Helping WomenAnnual LuncheonFriday, April 12, 2013

Speaker: Judy A. Bradshaw Chief of PoliceTopic: Swimming Against the Tide Date: Friday, April 12, 2013Time: 11:30 a.m. – 1:00 p.m.Location: Embassy Suites on the River 101 E. Locust Street, Des MoinesTickets: $50 (includes lunch); $500/ table of 10

Since 1999, the Des Moines Pastoral Counseling Center has sponsored an annual luncheon to raise awareness of our work with women struggling with the challenges of life and to generate funds to help subsidize counseling for low- and moderate-income women and girls with limited resources. Please join us for this uplifting event in celebration of women. Invitations will be mailed mid-March. Please mark your calendar now!

This year’s speaker, Judy A. Bradshaw, is a 33-year veteran of the Des Moines Police Department, starting out as a police cadet in 1980. As she climbed through the ranks of the department, she was considered a pioneer. Chief Bradshaw acknowledges that she faced many challenges as a woman in her profession, but perseverance and passion for the job helped her succeed. Now, after “swimming against the tide” to the position of Chief of Police, she will share with us about her journey.

This year’s event will also honor the commitment and passion of another female leader from the public arena, Sally J. Pedersen – former two-term Iowa Lieutenant Governor and long-time advocate and leader in helping women, the underserved, and people who don’t always have a voice.

Please plan on joining us at the luncheon on April 12th. Consider

becoming a Women Helping Women Leader. Contact the Center for more information (kmurrin@dmpcc.org /251-6644).

Get Out of the Past (Part II): The Application of Neurobiological Research in the Treatment of Trauma

Recent neurobiological research on trauma has confirmed what Pierre Janet suggested in the 19th century: the minds and bodies of trauma survivors often have not realized that the traumatic event is over. This manifests in a host of maladaptive tendencies in the present. Each week of this 10-week seminar will involve learning practical applications of therapeutic techniques and principles to assist survivors’ minds and bodies in developing

more adaptive responses to the present. We will focus on how to help clients during the first phases of treatment to develop mindfulness, boundaries, stability and safety. Then we will introduce several ways in which to help clients to process trauma in the mind and body. Each class time will provide opportunities to practice these skills in vivo and to discuss potential roadblocks with fellow clinicians.

Dates: February 15, 2013 – May 3, 2013 (no class 2/22, 4/12)Time: Fridays, 8:15 – 9:45 a.m.Location: Des Moines Pastoral Counseling Center 8553 Urbandale Ave., Urbandale 50322Cost: $200CEUs: 15.00 hoursInstructor: Patrick Weeg, L.M.S.W.To Register: Contact the Center at 515-274-4006 or info@dmpcc.org

The Instructor: Patrick Weeg, L.M.S.W., holds a B.A. in Spanish and English and a Master of Social Work degree, all from the University of Iowa. Patrick works with children, adolescents, adults, and couples. He has a particular interest in working with survivors of trauma and has completed over 200 hours of training in Sensorimotor Psychotherapy for trauma and EMDR. Additionally, Patrick’s work with clients at the Center covers a variety of issues, from depression and anxiety to stressful life transitions and relationship challenges. Patrick

has experience working with veterans, immigrants, individuals struggling with substance abuse and addictions, and children who have experienced abuse and neglect. Proficient in Spanish, he provides counseling to Spanish-speaking persons and their families.

Sacred ChaosA Retreat of Renewal for Religious Leaders in Transition…

Sacred Chaos spiritual journey retreats seek to assist in the spiritual and emotional renewal of religious leaders as they traverse some of their most difficult life passages, i.e., retirement, divorce, mid-life, burnout, etc., as well as to encourage and support them in their struggles with congregational challenges.

Dates: Monday, April 1 – Friday, April 5, 2013Location: The Christian Conference Center 5064 Lincoln St., Newton, IACost: $600.00; $550.00 Early Bird Registration (by 3/1/13) Includes four nights lodging (single rooms with bath), all meals, all group work, and private sessions with an experienced clinical psychologistRegistration: $100.00 nonrefundable registration fee; to be applied to total retreat feeDeadline: March 15, 2013 (Early Bird deadline: March 1, 2013) Registration is limited to 12 participantsFacilitators: Rev. Dr. James R. Newby and Mark Minear, Ph.D.

For more information or to register, contact Des Moines Pastoral Counseling Center, Rev. Diane McClanahan (dmcclanahan@dmpcc.org or 251-6667).

32

who had given me gifts across my lifetime, and each weekend I wrote a letter of appreciation. What a powerful experience in my life! I hoped the letters would be a blessing to the recipients, but my primary goal was to experience what it would do in my own heart.

* When I turned 50, I went to Toys-R-Us and bought 1,300 marbles—the number of weeks until I turned 75, which is the average life expectancy for males. I put the marbles in a large, clear vase on the dresser in my bedroom. To this day, every Saturday morning I randomly take out one marble and put in my pocket. It is a reminder, whenever I pull it out during the week, of the finitude and preciousness of my life – the importance of being grateful for the gift of each day. If I have opportunity, I give the marble to someone (with a condensed story) or leave it at some unique place.

* In the New York Times at Thanksgiving of 2011, John Tierney wrote about the most recent psychological research on nurturing gratitude: “Cultivating an ‘attitude of gratitude’ has been linked to better health, sounder sleep, less anxiety and depression, higher long-term satisfaction with life and kinder behavior toward others, including romantic partners.” By doing something as simple as writing a brief list of five expressions in a weekly journal for eight weeks, the test group showed significant results over the control group. Just think what a daily gratitude journal might mean in a person’s life over the course of a year!

* In the everydayness of life, consider how to create those “sacred pauses” of gratitude, including in our relationship with the Holy Other as well as with other people. When we have those moments to express our appreciation to someone in person, linger just a little longer with our handshake, touch, eye contact, or speaking of a name. Allow that experience of gratitude to go from our heart to our body in a thoughtful, deliberative way. Slow down when writing the note, letter, or email of thanks. Again, not just for the recipient, but also for our own self.

Develop a practice of mindfulness In their book, Mindfulness: An Eight-Week Plan for Finding Peace in a Frantic World, Williams and Penman provide a rich understanding of being mindful. Live in the moment (instead of dwelling in the past or anticipating the future), make choices (instead of operating on autopilot), be accepting (instead of striving or judging), approach (instead of avoid), sense (instead of analyze).

When we are truly paying attention through the five senses (e.g., experiencing the beauty of a sunset, the taste of blueberry pie, the touch of a newborn baby, the sound of geese flying overhead, and the smell of a fresh orange), we can’t help but feel grateful for the many gifts that constantly surround our lives.

When we strengthen the capacity to be aware in the moment, we begin to see our lives, our future, and our world in new ways. When we are more intentional about nurturing gratitude in our lives, we transform our lives!

Mark Minear, Ph.D.

The Author: Mark Minear is a licensed psychologist at Des Moines Pastoral Counseling Center, working with adults on a wide variety of issues: depression, anxiety including trauma, loss and grief, transitions and adjustments, and spiritual concerns. He is also a recorded minister with the Religious Society of Friends (Quaker). Mark does neuropsychological assessments and has significant experience working with veterans’ issues, chronic health problems, couples counseling, and geriatric concerns. He has background in working with a variety of churches, denominations, and faith traditions, as well as with individual clergy in need of support.

ReferencesAutry, James A. (2012). Choosing Gratitude: Learning to Love the Life You Have. Macon, GA: Smyth and Helwys.Williams, Mark and Danny Penman. (2011). Mindfulness: An Eight-Week Plan for Finding Peace in a Frantic World. NY: Rodale Books.

C.O.O.L. CornerChildren Overcoming the Obstacles of Life

Keeping the Winter Blahs Away the C.O.O.L. Way

♥ Bundle up and play outside!

♥ Hot cider, hot chocolate, and hot lemonade are treat alternatives to soda pop.

♥ Bake cookies together.

♥ Turn off the electronics and turn on the board games.

♥ Set up a family jigsaw puzzle.

♥ Learn to play charades.

♥ Assign age-appropriate household chores to everyone.

♥ Go to bed earlier.

♥ Read to your children.

♥ Dust off an old classic.

♥ Get a new book that’s a little too difficult for your child to read independently.

♥ Read to each other.

♥ Change light bulbs in bathrooms and bedrooms to full- spectrum bulbs.

♥ Set up a craft / art area that allows for mess.

♥ Make your own Valentine cards

♥ Create opportunities for plenty of daytime physical activity ~ dancing, wrestling, swimming, indoor playgrounds.

♥ Encourage quiet on-your-own time with no distractions ~ just reading a book or writing a letter to grandparents or working

on an art project.

Please MARK YOUR CALENDAR:Join us for lunch on April 12th

Women Helping WomenAnnual LuncheonFriday, April 12, 2013

Speaker: Judy A. Bradshaw Chief of PoliceTopic: Swimming Against the Tide Date: Friday, April 12, 2013Time: 11:30 a.m. – 1:00 p.m.Location: Embassy Suites on the River 101 E. Locust Street, Des MoinesTickets: $50 (includes lunch); $500/ table of 10

Since 1999, the Des Moines Pastoral Counseling Center has sponsored an annual luncheon to raise awareness of our work with women struggling with the challenges of life and to generate funds to help subsidize counseling for low- and moderate-income women and girls with limited resources. Please join us for this uplifting event in celebration of women. Invitations will be mailed mid-March. Please mark your calendar now!

This year’s speaker, Judy A. Bradshaw, is a 33-year veteran of the Des Moines Police Department, starting out as a police cadet in 1980. As she climbed through the ranks of the department, she was considered a pioneer. Chief Bradshaw acknowledges that she faced many challenges as a woman in her profession, but perseverance and passion for the job helped her succeed. Now, after “swimming against the tide” to the position of Chief of Police, she will share with us about her journey.

This year’s event will also honor the commitment and passion of another female leader from the public arena, Sally J. Pedersen – former two-term Iowa Lieutenant Governor and long-time advocate and leader in helping women, the underserved, and people who don’t always have a voice.

Please plan on joining us at the luncheon on April 12th. Consider

becoming a Women Helping Women Leader. Contact the Center for more information (kmurrin@dmpcc.org /251-6644).

Get Out of the Past (Part II): The Application of Neurobiological Research in the Treatment of Trauma

Recent neurobiological research on trauma has confirmed what Pierre Janet suggested in the 19th century: the minds and bodies of trauma survivors often have not realized that the traumatic event is over. This manifests in a host of maladaptive tendencies in the present. Each week of this 10-week seminar will involve learning practical applications of therapeutic techniques and principles to assist survivors’ minds and bodies in developing

more adaptive responses to the present. We will focus on how to help clients during the first phases of treatment to develop mindfulness, boundaries, stability and safety. Then we will introduce several ways in which to help clients to process trauma in the mind and body. Each class time will provide opportunities to practice these skills in vivo and to discuss potential roadblocks with fellow clinicians.

Dates: February 15, 2013 – May 3, 2013 (no class 2/22, 4/12)Time: Fridays, 8:15 – 9:45 a.m.Location: Des Moines Pastoral Counseling Center 8553 Urbandale Ave., Urbandale 50322Cost: $200CEUs: 15.00 hoursInstructor: Patrick Weeg, L.M.S.W.To Register: Contact the Center at 515-274-4006 or info@dmpcc.org

The Instructor: Patrick Weeg, L.M.S.W., holds a B.A. in Spanish and English and a Master of Social Work degree, all from the University of Iowa. Patrick works with children, adolescents, adults, and couples. He has a particular interest in working with survivors of trauma and has completed over 200 hours of training in Sensorimotor Psychotherapy for trauma and EMDR. Additionally, Patrick’s work with clients at the Center covers a variety of issues, from depression and anxiety to stressful life transitions and relationship challenges. Patrick

has experience working with veterans, immigrants, individuals struggling with substance abuse and addictions, and children who have experienced abuse and neglect. Proficient in Spanish, he provides counseling to Spanish-speaking persons and their families.

Sacred ChaosA Retreat of Renewal for Religious Leaders in Transition…

Sacred Chaos spiritual journey retreats seek to assist in the spiritual and emotional renewal of religious leaders as they traverse some of their most difficult life passages, i.e., retirement, divorce, mid-life, burnout, etc., as well as to encourage and support them in their struggles with congregational challenges.

Dates: Monday, April 1 – Friday, April 5, 2013Location: The Christian Conference Center 5064 Lincoln St., Newton, IACost: $600.00; $550.00 Early Bird Registration (by 3/1/13) Includes four nights lodging (single rooms with bath), all meals, all group work, and private sessions with an experienced clinical psychologistRegistration: $100.00 nonrefundable registration fee; to be applied to total retreat feeDeadline: March 15, 2013 (Early Bird deadline: March 1, 2013) Registration is limited to 12 participantsFacilitators: Rev. Dr. James R. Newby and Mark Minear, Ph.D.

For more information or to register, contact Des Moines Pastoral Counseling Center, Rev. Diane McClanahan (dmcclanahan@dmpcc.org or 251-6667).

Healthy Information from the Des Moines Pastoral Counseling Center JAN/FEB/MAR 2013

Non-Profit Org.U.S. Postage

PAIDPermit No. 644Des Moines, IA

is a publication of the Des Moines Pastoral Counseling Center, an independent, not-for-profit organization. Celebrating 40 years of ser-vice to adults, families, adolescents, and children for the purpose of enhancing emotional, spiritual, and relationship health. The Center has satellite offices in Ankeny, Lamoni, Leon, Mitchellville, Mt. Ayr and Osceola. Editor : Kathleen Murrin

2929 Westown Parkway, Suite 110 • West Des Moines, Iowa 50266

www.dmpcc.orgVisit the Center’s website for more information on the Center’s

counseling services and staff, special events and classes.

All of us have the ongoing need to heal and grow in our lives. Whether it is our awareness that we have emotional pain or that we could be more compassionate, we all have room for continual transformation. One proven way to bring about meaningful and positive changes in our life is to become a more grateful person. Since gratitude is something about which we can be intentional, exploring ways to deepen and broaden our sense of appreciation may be one of the most powerful ways to grow and heal. I had the unique privilege15 years ago to pursue a qualitative dissertation for my doctoral degree in psychology. I held focus groups with cancer patients who had advanced disease (i.e., either metastatic or recurrent), with the goal of determining what makes for a meaningful quality of life even in the midst of such difficulties and uncertainties. I learned a great deal from these wonderful people. Most importantly, they taught me that the answer to my quality of life question is:• to focus on what one has instead of what one doesn’t have • to focus on what one can do instead of what one cannot do. This particular learning was well integrated into two dominant life tasks: nurturing gratitude and living in the present.

So there you have the essence of my article: we can mindfully nurture gratitude in our lives, and when we do, we can experience a powerful transformation in the direction of healing and wholeness! Learning gratitudeDes Moines’ own James Autry emphasized this belief with the simplicity of the title of his new book: Choosing Gratitude: Learning to Love the Life You Have. As he wrote in his Introduction, “Gratitude doesn’t come naturally. We have to learn it…” and “Learning gratitude is a spiritual, not a social, process.” It is profound to consider gratitude as a choice and not simply a spontaneous experience.

“Give thanks in all circumstances.” (I Thessalonians 5:18) People of faith have often misinterpreted this brief verse as if there is a requirement to give thanks for all circumstances. Instead, the Apostle Paul was simply encouraging the early Church to continue to be grateful people “in the midst of” whatever situations they find themselves.

The Transformational Power of GratitudeThe Transformational Power of Gratitude ......................................................... Page 1C.O.O.L. Corner ...................................................................................................... Page 2Center’s Annual Meeting Announcement ........................................................... Page 2Women Helping Women Annual Luncheon ....................................................... Page 3Get Out of the Past (Part II) ................................................................................. Page 3Sacred Chaos ............................................................................................................ Page 3Enneagram B.S.B. ...................................................................................................... Page 4Make a Gift of Hope and Healing ......................................................................... Page 4Leaving Your Legacy ................................................................................................. Page 4

8553 Urbandale Avenue • Urbandale, Iowa 50322

Enneagram B.S.B. Easing the Patterns that Keep us Blocked, Stuck, and Broken in Relationships

Date: Friday, April 26, 2013Time: Check-in 8:30 - 9:00a.m./Workshop 9:00a.m - 4:00p.m.Location: Greenwood Room/Plymouth Church 4126 Ingersoll Ave., Des MoinesCost: $55.00Facilitator: Adele Ver SteegTo register: Contact Des Moines Pastoral Counseling Center (274-4006 or info@dmpcc.org)Registration deadline: April 24

The Enneagram is an ancient tool for facilitating psychological growth and spiritual transformation. Its wisdom provides a way for us to notice the habitual patterns of acting, thinking, and feeling that limit our experience. We’ll explore the nine distinctive types, the gifts and challenges each brings, and specific practices to open us to experiencing more freedom in all of our relationships.

Adele Ver Steeg is a spiritual director whose relationships have been less blocked, stuck, and broken since she started studying the Enneagram and

practicing contemplative prayer. This workshop is Sponsored by the Des Moines Pastoral Counseling Center and supported by the Center for Spiritual Growth at

Plymouth Church.

The Transformational Power of Gratitude

Benefits of being gratefulI am not suggesting a naïve, Pollyannaish, rose-colored glasses outlook on life. I am quite aware of how difficult and painful life can be at times. I am, however, suggesting that, even in the thick of facing life’s struggles, finding ways and reasons to be a grateful person provides important benefits. Here are just a few:

• Hope is maintained and pessimism is held at bay.

• We are reminded, with a sense of humility, how much of life’s goodness has to do with gifts over which we don’t have control.

• We have ongoing avenues to be connected with those around us. No matter what behaviors or beliefs tend to separate us from others, being a person of gratitude transcends those barriers that would otherwise alienate us from one another.

• Because gratitude and generosity have a strong correlation, we are better listeners, caregivers, and givers when we are grateful.

• Experiencing gratitude on the inside is likely to result in expressing gratitude on the outside; thus we will have positive messages to communicate to others.

• We understand better how to live in the moment – for being grateful is a powerful “here and now” experience. Even if we are reviewing a memory trace of an event from our past, the experience of gratitude is always right here and right now.

Nurturing GratitudeWhat are some of the ways we can nurture gratitude? Here are a few

ideas:

* “If you knew that you only had one week to live, what would you do with your time?” A friend of mine mentored me by saying that he would make a list of everyone to whom he owed a debt of gratitude and write them letters in his final days.

* I thought, “Why wait?” I made a list of 50 people in my life

Make a gift for hope and healing

There are individuals and families in our community struggling with life’s issues on very limited resources – experiencing pain, confusion and despair beyond what they can handle alone. For 40 years the Des Moines Pastoral Counseling Center has helped people through difficult times in their lives by offering high-quality, affordable mental health counseling to all. Your gift today can help. Your support can make a very real difference in someone’s life. Contact Kathleen Murrin (251-6644 or kmurrin@dmpcc.org) or mail your tax-deductible contribution to the Center.

Leaving Your Legacy

The ability to sustain the nurturing nature of the Center’s work into the future is also in your hands. Your planned gift to the Center’s FOUNDATION will ensure that the time and compassion required for real healing and growth will be available to future generations of our community. Contact Kathleen Murrin at the Center for more information on establishing your legacy in a meaningful way that will make a real difference.