The Story So Far...

You are Banedon, famous Brother of the Crystal Star. Go on, I dare you to name another. Loi-Kymar and the old Guildmaster don't count. However, tales of your many deeds have only been told in your home planet of Magnamund. Where on Earth are the tales elsewhere? You were promised more, and all you got was a reduced gamebook in the back of the Magnamund Companion!

There are so many tales, like the time you sat around waiting for Lone Wolf to come back from the Daziarn. Or the time you got captured by Cadak in Kaag.

Ok, these are not good examples. Still, there is one tale that was hinted at but never properly revealed in its full glory. There was the time you earned the famed Skyrider.

This is: The Untold Tale!

1

It is a cold morning in MS5052, and you have the mother of a hangover. It's not really your fault, everyone is still going on and on about Lone Wolf saving everyone from the Kalte Ice Barbarians last year, and it made you hit the sauce a little hard.

You don't begrudge a similarly aged fighter against evil his success. And it's nice he's managed to make something of himself after the misfortune of the whole rest of the Kai being wiped out. Really, it's just great.

Still, you know, you didn't just go to Holmgard from the monastery. Y'know, you went all the way from Toran to the monastery and back again. Is it your fault the Guildmaster was drunk and didn't pass on your message about the Kai?

And while Lone Wolf swanked off to the safety of Durenor for tea and biscuits and an ubersword, you only had your wand to play with in a besieged Toran!

And no one seems to mention it was actually a Brotherhood mage that captured Vonotar, and Lone Wolf just helped. Ok, that mage wasn't you, but still it doesn't do your class any good with him grabbing all the credit.

You even gave that man your Crystal Star, and told him you'd be brothers in this time of strife. Did he ever come to visit in the years since and find out if you were still alive? Did he hell. And because of that no one believes you, and thinks you lost it throwing it at a Doomwolf while running away in terror. And

so they call you "Donnie Donnie No Star" and pull your robes down during lunch.

As you say, you can't really be blamed for overdrinking a touch. Ending up with a dwarf crew after playing cards...that the Guildmaster could probably yell at you about. Really, who sells their own crew and keeps the ship? Is that even legal? And man, how drunk did you all get last night?

All in all, there are many reasons to make yourself a little bit scarce for a while. Luckily, you have now reached the rank of Journeyman, which means you have eight of the ten Excuses required to become a really good bluffer when pretending to know magic and get ahead in the Brotherhood. You should be able to go off on a 'mission' without anyone being any the wiser.

Hmm, what about Dessi? Vonotar maybe had the right idea, just the wrong magic. Perhaps you can discover the secrets of the Old Kingdom magic and marry them to your own. Create some Good Old Left Hand magic, if you know what I mean. Wait, that sounds like a lude pick up line. Hmm, perhaps that's why you have a sore cheek this morning too.

So, time to smuggle some dwarfs out of your room and onwards to adventure! And it might just be the queasiness of your stomach, or it might be the gurgling feeling that this adventure might put you back on the map!

Do you want to go visit your Guildmaster first? He knows Dessi, and should still be sober at this time of the morning. Go to 2

Do you want to go to the stores and grab some asprin, and perhaps any magical maps and other items not nailed down first? Go to 3

Or do you want to leave without delay? If so, you probably need to steal some form of transport then. Go to 4

2

You walk in to the main guildhall, and see the Guildmaster rise from his seat to greet you. He seems steady enough on his feet, which is a good sign.

"Lone Wolf! Good to see you this fine morning!" says the man.

Oh dear. "It's actually Banedon," you say with resignation.

"Already?" he says, looking to the hourglass. "Time flies. Well, that is of no matter. I have an urgent mission for you, Lone Wolf! Here it is!"

The Guildmaster holds out his hand to you.

"That's a potato," you say with a sigh. A click of your fingers and a word of right hand magic animates the knobbly vegetable of consternation, and it wraps some stalks around the guildmaster's throat. What? Of course you all know right handed magics, you just don't talk about it to other people. Shhh. If you are worried about the Guildmaster, of course you'll call off the potato once the man falls unconscious. Probably.

You look around the place speculatively for the gin the man has obviously been consuming, but spot something else instead. A map! A map with some writing on it! Wow, the Guildmaster really did have a mission, it seems. And in Dessi too! The map has some scrawls on it underneath the various rings from gin bottles. From what you can tell, someone is supposed to go to a valley or ravine or something and look for something.

And since Lone Wolf has already messed about with one chasm and got a sweet dagger from it, you are determined this time you'll get to be the cool hero! You'll show them all!

Mark the Map of Dessi on the Memory section of your Brain that you personally will carry around as a Thought. Or you can just go get your Book 7 and open it up at the front, then go abuse it as a coaster after scribbling on it in crayon. Feel free to call the potato critter over too and keep it as a funny little pet.

The you that is Banedon meanwhile is completely happy to have some official looking paperwork, and maybe even somewhere to go. Now you just need to figure out how to go about getting there.

Go to 4

3

You innocently whistle and walk with a jaunty walk down towards the stores. Although you have to stop before too long as the sharp noise and bouncing are going right for your headache. Why did you drink so much? Oh yes, Kai Lords hogging all the limelight. Well you'll show then, you'll show them a-

"Donnie? Haha! Donnie Donnie No-star! What are you doing here, I thought you were dead or something!"

Ugh, it's one of your fellow students. There's a rule about using magic against your own guildmates, which is why you better make it a good one. What, you don't really want to talk to him, do you? Man's obviously a prat! Hah, robe wearing spellcasters always are. Wait...

Do you wish to use Lighting Hand to solve this problem, as always? Go to 5Do you wish to use Invisible Shield to block the man physically from you? Go to 6Or will you use Silence to shut him up? Go to 7

Fine, if you really want an option to speak to your fellow mage, then go to 8

4

You walk towards the exit to the guild hall, all the while thinking about how you will travel to Dessi. You stop to go grab all the dwarfs you stashed in your room last night - how on earth did you sneak them in? - and onwards out the -

Oh darn, you forgot the door out of the guildhall is guarded by a particularly shrewd sister of the crystal star at this time of day. Now you really wish you were still drunk and had access to that same inebriated guile.

If you possess a Map of Dessi, or found a new Crystal Star Pendant (and cooler robes), then you can waltz through the door with purpose. Go to 18

If not, then you need to get it together and figure out a plan here!

If you possess some gin, or want to ask the dwarves for some Bor Brew, then you could cast Vigor and attempt to get back to your inebriated genius. Go to 17

If you possess some rope, tinderbox and a torch you can attempt to create a diverting explosion. Go to 19

If you possess some Gold Crowns, you can attempt to bribe the door guard. Nominate an amount then go to 20

If you wish to try a Net spell, go to 21If you wish to try a Mind Charm, go to 22If you wish to try Sense Evil, go to 23

Otherwise, it looks as though you have no other option than to attempt to talk your way through. Go to 24

5

You gesture grandly, and blast the man right in the face just like the Giaks you swatted off the pillars in the Ruins of Raumas! Hah!

Oh my goodness, what have you done??? Only gone and shot a Helghast in the face! Wow, you are just firing on all cylinders today, you big hero you! Still, might be best not to mention the service you did to everyone right now. There might be unfortunate questions about how you figured it out when the Helghast had fooled everyone else...

You go and grab the Crystal Star Pendant off the creature's neck - woohoo! Now you're Donnie Donnie All-star! - and also go and take his robes in place of your own. This might seem like a silly redundancy for comedy, but nuh-uh! You see people grab your robes to pull them down so much they are now all mishappen and stretched. Plus you added velcro to key areas so it would just pull apart and not lead to painfully yanking. Anyway, so now you have proper robes too! Yay!

You seem to be getting on great guns so far. Go to 9 and let's see if you can find any more cool stuff to steal. I mean...borrow for legitimate good reasons that you haven't even thought about, have you? Typical player character!

Anyway, go to 9

6

You cast Invisible Shield infront of yourself, and your far too friendly colleague bounces right off of it as he tries to go and give you one of those annoying bro hugs. He knocks himself cleanly out too. Bonus!

You congratulate yourself on your skill, and make a move to get passed-

Ouch. You make a move t- ouch. You - ouch.

Hmm, you try to move left or right around the shield, but the trouble is it's invisible so you can't seem to find a way past it. To be honest you aren't actually very good at this spell, so you can't really make it move with you, nor dismiss it, nor in fact produce it in a way that's any use at all. Infact, probably best not to take this option again if you see it anywhere.

Also your headache has gone on in leaps and bounds from bouncing off of the wall. Until you get to Dessi, you take a -1 penalty on any random number you pick.

Oh well, that's disappointing!

Do you want to go to the Guildmaster and see if you can find a hair of the dog? Go to 2Or will you simply call it quits and try to leave here without delay? Go to 4

7

With a gesture and a wink and a smile - which frankly is more you than for the spell - you cast the Silence effect. Your fellow mage didn't seem to have noticed any of it, having been in full flow mocking you about your various perceived inabilities to do anything.

Suddenly he stops as he realises nothing is coming out. His brows furrow, and he points to himself and you then makes many emphatic gestures. They are the universally recognisable gestures of 'did you just cast Silence on me' but you still pretend to take a few goes around to understand it just for fun.

The best you can come up with is to shrug, point to your own mouth, and do the same mouthing, gestures and emphatic pointing to say 'no, I can't speak either, did you cast Silence on me'?' This goes through several iterations before you're understood, and your slow-thinking fellow still has a suspicious look on his otherwise smug face. You start gesturing back down the corridor in the admittedly lesser used suite of gestures for 'there's a Darklord down there, maybe he caused it?'

'What?' mimes the mage, for the umpteenth time.

"There's a Darklord back down there! Maybe he caused it?"

The blue robed simpleton finally understands, and heads off to see. Both of you freeze at about the same time, as you realise you actually spoke that one out loud. You are swifter on the uptake and on your feet and you rush off towards the stores to hide and steal things before he can come after you.

Go to 9

8

Before you know what's happening, your loud fellow studier of magic has crashed in to you, giving you obnoxious bro hugs and mock punching you in the arm and chest. His good natured shaking of you while asking 'where's your star, Donnie?' finally causes you to vomit profusely.

The student ends up taking your own easily detachable robes (they've been pulled down often enough) and throwing his soiled ones at you. Now you are left feeling sick and disoriented with the yellow and blue of some different, more pathetic order of hung over mages.

You decide to stagger back in to the open air to avoid the worst of the smells, looking for your dwarf crew to perhaps be useful and wash out your disgusting laundry. That's something crews do, isn't it?

You'll never know, as your hideous, shambling form is mistaken for an Agarashi by the frankly still drunk dwarves. They plug you full of Bor Rifle shot before one of them even thinks there's something familiar about you.

Your life and mission end here, although you will find a kind of fame in the annuls of the Brotherhood.

9

You are confident that the storesman of the guild's most powerful and dangerous relics won't have gotten out of bed yet, and since he hates the dark you know he will have left the door wide open. The poor man tends to sleep in here, so you will need to be quiet in order not to wake him several hours early.

Still, you don't really have much time to have a proper look around anyway. The stores to be honest actually looks in quite a mess, as if someone has already been rummaging through.

Do you want to look through the disturbed papers to your left? Go to 10Do you want to look through the disturbed bottles to your right? Go to 11

Otherwise, if you want to generally grab what you can, pick a number from the Random Number Table.

If you picked a 1 - 3, go to 12 If you picked a 4 - 6 go to 13If you picked a 7 - 9 go to 14If you got a 0 or less, then go to 15

10

The bundles of papers that have been disturbed are mostly maps - infact the map bundle seems open at maps of Dessi! One of the best has been removed, but there is still a decent one left here. It has some strange and worrying scribbles about monsters, death, valleys of deaths, and death in a valley of monsters. Still, there also seems to be a coach ticket pinned to it and so you soon forget all the weird writing at the new shiny item!

Well, this seems to solve all the issues - time you leave for adventure, you guess. Also, you are sure you can hear some scary noises inside and outside of the room to do with people coming. Best to be gone!

Go to 4

11

You realise who it was that has been racking around when you spot that these are no ordinary potion bottles. These are the Guildmaster's own personal supplies of gin. It is very tempting to take a swing of one, but there have been rumours of how potent this stash truly is. The man is rumoured to be nothing but gin now, held together by Left Handed Magic. Dare you try it?

If you wish to prove your mettle and take a swig from one of the bottles, go to 16If you wish to cast the spell of Vigor first, then take a swig from a bottle, go to 17

If you choose to do neither, you will realise your clattering with the bottles is starting to attract attention. You decide discretion is the better part of valour - especially if the Guildmaster is the one coming - and quickly put the bottle back before rushing out of the back door.

It's probably best you make yourself scarce, and look for some transport. Go to 4

12

What's this? Some Rope and a Tinderbox? And TORCHES??? What is this, Flight from the Dark? Ugh. You can take all of those items if you wish and write them in the Backpack section of the Action Chart of the Flight of the Dark you originally got these Dumb Stupid Not Mage-y Items (Backpack) from. Meh.

Oh well, I guess you've been whining out loud and you can hear footsteps come from outside. However, you can also hear the stirring of the storesman in the corner. Hopefully the two forces will spend time fighting with each other and let you sneak out the back with your frankly horrible items.

Hmm, maybe you can grab a keg of Bor Brew from one of the Dwarfs, and make some form of a fused bomb and blow something up. How this will help you get transport you don't know, but you may as well go off and try.

Go to 4

13

You find some Asprin after all - or maybe they are just Jelly Beans - and swallow as many as seem safe down your throat. The effect seems to work, whether medicinal or just a sugar high. You still have enough for one dose should you need it later too.

Well, with a clearer head you realise that sticking around here is just asking for trouble. Still, with a clearer head you'll probably be able to blag some transport and might even recall your geography lessons. Time to go find some dwarves and some transport!

Go to 4

14

Oooh! Gold! You find a pouch of Gold Crowns on one of the benches, and take the opportunity to count then out. Co-incidentally, you have as many as the random number you previously picked! Who would have thought of it?

Sadly, the jingle of the coins brings a rustle in the room...the storesman may well be stirring. And you swear you can hear a commotion outside too.

There's no time to delay, you probably have the money to bribe some transport or buy maps or whatever it was you wanted to do. You quickly head off out the back door to find your dwarves and some transport!

Go to 4

15

Uh-oh. You hear a movement of scrolls and blankets, and the bulk of the storesman appears from a dark corner. You have learned many wonderful epithets with which to apply to all the smelly foreigners that always dirty up the halls from the man. Unfortunately, you learned them from hiding while he gave vicious scoldings to other mages.

You have no idea why he works in the guild if he hates mages so much and thinks so little of them. And neither does the storesman, as he takes great pains to point out. The pains very quickly become yours as he points out all your shortcomings and exactly how bad the Brotherhood are compared to any other class found in the RPG.

Your mission ends here because, really, after that tongue lashing no one could try and be a hero.

16

The second you pull the stopper from the bottle, you almost pass out. This stuff is beyond strong, it's lethal! You stagger back, almost spilling the contents, and creating a lot of noise hitting some of the shelves.

With no time to waste, you simple run out of the back door with the gin still in hand, stoppering the bottle shakily. There is a strange wailing noise from behind you - either the storeman woke up and saw the mess, or the guildmaster has seen the destruction of his stash. Either way, you probably best make yourself scarce with no more delay! Time to get transport out of here!

Go to 4

17

You whisper the spell of Vigor first to fortify yourself against any ill effects. Unfortunately, this means the smell of the alcohol doesn't affect you fast enough to stop you taking a swig. Then both the smell and alcohol content of what you just drank hits you - an effect similar to a weighty blow to the back of your head.

Ironically, when people actually start grabbing you and punching you in the back of the head for some transgression or other - you can't really concentrate on what they are saying - it wakes you up. Of course, you are in a bad position to actually escape now. Fortified by your Vigor spell and the numbing effects of the drink, you make a spirited - haha - defence, but ultimately succumb to overwhelming odds.

You life and mission end here, as everyone around watches with bemusement as you punch yourself to death Fight Club style.

18

You emerge in to the painful daylight outside of the guild, and wish you had perhaps taken longer to rest. Why were you in such a hurry again? Or right, all the dwarfs you currently have clustered around you. Unless you have taken some asprin, or can eat a Meal just now, you will take a -1 penalty on all Random Numbers you pick until you get to Dessi. This is on top of any other such penalties you have been given before.

So, looking around, you guess you have two main options. There is a coach station close by. Going by land will take aaaaaaaaages, but is easy enough. However, Toran is also a port, and you can catch a ship docked on the river Tor that will sail down to the sea and onwards around the coast all the way down to Dessi. Because nothing bad ever happened ever during a gamebook when you take a ship anywhere.

Do you want to check out the coach station? go to 35Do you want to check out the harbour? Go to 36Or if you want a third option for travel, then scrounge around by going to 37

19

You take your gin (or ask one of the dwarfs for a Bor Brew keg then steal one in the ensuing furious melee that follows) and crudely fashion some form of fused bomb. Clearly this isn't going to work if this was serious - rope isn't fuse cord for a start - but just go with me on this.

You look around for a suitable target for your quite frankly inconsiderate pyromaniac tendencies and see two suitable targets.

If you wish to blow up an ancient and large statue of one of the old and quite large guildmasters on the other side of the hall, go to 33If you wish to blow up the toilet just off to the side of the hall, go to 34

If you're having second thoughts about all this, replace the relevant items on your 'Action Chart' with a Fused Bomb, then go back to 4

20

So, how many Gold Crowns did you nominate?

If you nominated 0 or 1 (you skinflint) go to 25If you nominated 2 or more, go to 26Did you think you were being clever by nominating -1 or less? If so, go to 27 and face the consequences.

21

You quickly - so you think - cast a Net spell, but the door guard is faster with a Counterspell. Maybe everyone uses this tactic?

"Seriously? You're going to use magic on a fellow mage? What are you, some sort of idiot? Wait, that was a Net spell, you were trying to tie me up? Is this some weird pick up line? Or do you just not take my position seriously? Do you just hate authority? What are you, a misogynist or a rebel?"

"Can't I be...both...?" you ask.

"You can be thrown in prison, that's what you can be!" the door guard replies, hammering on a giant bell close by.

"DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!" yell all the dwarfs at your side, and before the door guard knows what is happening all your dwarf crew are charging through the door, trampling her underfoot. Whether you want to or not, you are carried through on a tide of hunger and Bor Brew fumes.

Go to 18

22

You cast Mind Charm on yourself, in order to boost your self confidence. You can do anything you put your mind to!

"Hey, don't worry about the dwarves, they're with me," you say as you confidentially walk through the door with a wink and a smile.

"Wait, what? I...oh...ok, I guess?" says the door guard, confused by your unusual confidence.

Well, that was easy. Maybe you need to Mind Charm yourself in to believing you can just walk the many, many miles between here and Dessi? Hmm, maybe not...you might succeed!

Onwards to some transport! Go to 18

23

You cast Sense Evil, and Banedon suddenly realises that he is surrounded by evil everywhere. Is it the guild? Is the whole guild taken over or really a shifty organisation? Maybe this isn't the real Brotherhood, and he's been recruited by a counter-organisation. Maybe Banedon will get to wear disguises and look for clues in art and stuff?

But no, Banedon realises the horrible truth - he's the one surrounded by evil! He's being controlled by one of the most amoral, terrible forces in the universe - the player!

He starts fighting your hold on him - hence why everything went third person regarding Banedon - and screams at his cursed fate and goes insane.

Well, this is sad. Well, your mission ends here, and you may as well end Banedon's life with your evil player whims, then restart with an under the thumb Banedon again. Just don't let him suspect you're making decisions for him. Shhhhh.

24

"So, hello, uh, I need to get passed the door, I ...uh...have a mission...sorta...and these dwarves...maybe...and need to leave...I think?"

Smooth. Really smooth. The door guard just gives you a look.

Pick a number form the Random Number Table. If you have a clear head thanks to asprin/jelly beans, add three to the number you picked. If you have a spare dose, you may take it now to add a further two to the number.

If the number is 0 - 2, go to 29If the number is 3 - 8, go to 30If the number is 9 or higher, go to 31

25

You hand the painfully light - especially if it is empty - belt pouch to the door guard and grin.

"What's this?" she says suspiciously. However, as there is no chink of coins, she simply starts looking at the pouch itself instead. "Oh, is this for me? Wow, that's beautiful stitching. Seems familiar...eh, nevermind, this is really good work. What a thoughful gift, you're right, I do spend a lot of time here in a thankless job. Do you know how dispiriting it is to have to look at people suspiciously all the time? And barely be acknowledged and dismissed by lots of important people? And have to be nasty to all my fellow mages?"

You nod and smile and gesture for all the dwarfs to stagger through the doorway. She places the belt pouch on a table by the door carefully smoothing it out, and then gestures for you to go on.

Smooth moves! Who knew being such a tightwad could actually pay off!

Go to 18

26

You hand the pouch of money over to the door guard.

"Wait, what's this?" she says suspiciously. The pouch clinks with the money inside. "Wait, is this money? Are you bribing me?"

"Umm, maaaaaybe...." you say non-commitally, yet hopefully smoothly and knowingly too.

"Bribery? Really? You think this is just a joke position? You think I don't take it seriously? What, you think it's all 'hey, just give Sandra money for sweets and she'll let you through, it doesn't matter who comes and goes through here? You lot are all the same, you just don't appreciate how hard this job is! I know you all talk about me behind my back, it's so unfair! You don't care how lonely and isolating this job is, no, it's all 'let's just poke fun at the Sandra'."

She then gives you a look. "Wait, is this what happened to your star? Did you bribe someone with your Crystal Star? Come on Donnie Donnie No-Star, that's just wrong!" She pulls down your robes just to shame you further.

This isn't going well.

Do you want to use Lightning Hand? Go to 28If that sounds too severe, maybe Net will be the better option. Maybe. Go to 21

27

With unwarranted and smug confidence you walk up to the door guard. "Hey, can I borrow some money?" you ask.

Surprised, she looks at you. "Umm...sure?" she says, reaching in to her belt pouch.

Wow, that actually worked? Cool! You gain Gold Crowns equal to the amount you nominated, up to a maximum of 50. Go back to 20, and choose one of the other options I guess!

28

You shoot yourself in the face with Lighting Hand. All things considered, it seems the best option right now.

You life and mission end here. Thankfully?

29

"You don't really have any more to say, and so stare at the door guard. The door guard stares back at you blankly."

"Wait, what are you saying?" asks the door guard.

"Oh, sorry, didn't mean to narrate my life out loud. Soooooo... can I get through?" you ask to cover the awkwardness. " 'Soooo...can I get through', you ask, to cover the awkwardness," you repeat to yourself quietly.

"Umm, no," she replies. "I think I'm going to shut Mr. Door firmly, go on a lunch break, and hope you aren't here when I get back."

Haha! Little does she know of your intense perseverance. Unfortunately, standing around in front of the door means you have to put up with most of the guild walking past, including several people who wanted to get through the door. Boy, are they not happy!

Your mission ends here, as you are de-robed and belittled so much while waiting that you finally just go back to a bed full of dwarves.

30

The door guard stares at you for a while. "Eh," she finally says, "I can't imagine you'll do any harm. Look, I need someone to do me a favour anyway. Can you take this coach ticket to the Journeyman at the coach station? He forgot it and will probably need it."

"I'm a Journeyman too!" you say.

"Of course you are, Donnie," she says condescendingly.

Deciding discretion is the better part of defending your dubious honour, you take the ticket and move onwards. The dwarfs are a little bit of a stretch, but she just let's them through with another 'eh'. Apparently you have that effect on people.

Go to 18

31

"I mean...I have a secret mission! Sorry, was just getting to character. That's why I'm looking so ineffectual and acting so weird."

The door keeper gives you a shrewd look, but then seems to believe you. "You're right, you couldn't really be so pathetic. Hahahahaha!"

"Hahahahahaow my sad heart," you say.

"Pardon?"

"Nothing, Oh, and all these dwarves, they're with me too. Disguised Kai Lords. Shhh."

"What, even that one throwing up in the corner drunk? Wait, I just answered my own question. Yep, seems legit,"

You move to go through the door, but the door guard stops you. "Wait a minute..."

"Yes?"

"Since it must be an important mission, feel free to grab a couple of items from my confiscation table here."

Sweet! Looking to the table, you see it has the following sets of items, of which you can take any two:

Map of Dessi (Special Item)Rope (Backpack Item)Tinderbox and Torch (Backpack Items)10 Gold Crowns (Belt Pouch)Coach Ticket (Special Item)2 Meals (Meals)Useless Item (Backpack Item)Small Useless Item (Special Item)Bronin Warhammer (Weapons)Bronin War Hamster (Meals?)

Once you have made your selection, carry on through the door. Go to 18Unless you grabbed three or more sets of items despite what you were told. In that case, go to 32

32

"Oh," says the door guard, a little put out. "Eh, go on then."

Mark the items in whatever Medium you Record These Things On, and go to 18

33

You gingerly place the bomb behind the amble space of the statue, then run the fuse back to the door. A quick flick of a torch, and now you just need to wait.

"Why are you standing there doing nothing?" asks the door guard, as you have been forced to stay as far as possible form the statue which is right by the door.

"Umm...just...waiting. For...umm...a...umm...friend?"

"Well do it somewhere else, you're blocking the door!"

You try to stay in position, but the door guard shoos you away, and you start moving around suspiciously trying to find a place out of the way. A crowd draws around, and worse the door guard comes over.

"What are you doing?" she asks, then spots something. "And what's that burning ro-"

The statue explodes. The thing about ancient statues is that they are quite fragile, and the thing about large statues is that there's lots to them. And the thing about cobbled together fantastical bombs is that they can make quite a large explosion.

Sadly, your life and mission end here in a fast moving shower of lumpy guildmaster shrapnel. At least you left your mark on the guild...

34

You hide the bomb in the toilet around the corner, and feed the fuse around the corner. You quickly light it, and then start to casually engage the door guard casually in casual conversation about casual stuff.

Just as the door guard is about to send you packing, the bomb explodes with a loud and gloopy wet explosion.

"What was that? Was that the bathroom? Did someone just destroy the toilets again? Nooooo!"

The door guard's misery is explainable when she grabs a stave, and has to stick a mop head on the top of it. With many a muttered curse at inconsiderate mages, she pushes past you and around the corner.

Success!

Delete everyone you used to make the bomb from wherever you record this sort of thing, and then walk through the door to find some transport.

Go to 18

35

You meander your way down to the waterfront, and the harbour of Toran. Forced to enduring increasingly fresh air and increasingly salty peasants, you almost turn back but then spot a beautiful masts of some wonderful ships. Haha! The logical way to get to Dessi! None of this long coach god knows how the narrator will speed up that ludicrous journey nonsense.

You walk up to a harbour master, pulling your robes to yourself - pretending its the brisk air, when of course its the fact your robes really want to fall down after all the walking.

"My good harbour master type person!" you say with as much joy as you can muster in this regard, "so, I have a mission in Dessi, and I'm looking for a ship! A flying ship! To take me to Dessi quickly! Where is one?"

"A...flying ship... why would we have a flying ship here? That sounds...insane..."

"Not at all, every Brotherhood mage of sufficient level gets a skyrider to themselves! Says so in the d20 RPG core rulebook. So just point me to one, and I shall depart post haste!"

The harbourmaster looks at you as if you have gone insane, and you realise the terrible truth. Until you have actually succeeded in your current mission, and presumably been awarded with an iconic skyrider, there will be no reason to retcon skyriders as a Brotherhood item instead of a Dessi one so other mages can be cool. Damn! Well, this is disappointing, it appears you will need to acquire a normal boring ship after all!

If you possess a Map of Dessi, you can go impress a captain with it. Go to 50If you want to go offer the services of your dwarf crew to one of the captains, go to 51If you want to go try and bribe one of the captains to let you on board, nominate an amount of gold crowns and go to 52

Or you can always try some magical sneakiness:Offer the services of your Mend spell? Go to 53Offer to use Sense Evil to steer the ship around? Go to 54Use the power of Mind Charm to get you on board? Go to 55

Of course, you can simply try to stow away like any normal free loader. Go to 56

36

You walk up to the coach station, and notice that there is already a fresh coach waiting to go out. There is a line of passengers both queuing to embark and queuing to purchase passage on board. The prospective passengers are all the usual mages, merchants, knights, rangers, peasant couples and mysterious priests you would expect on such a coach trip. All perfectly innocent travellers.

If you want to try and bet one of the passengers their coach ticket that the coach driver won't last a full day before being mysteriously murdered in a way that kicks off a murder mystery only you can solve, go to 41

If you possess a coach ticket already, go to 42

If you possess some money and wish to buy a coach ticket, pay the 5 Gold Crowns and go to 43

If none of these options appeals, then hmm, looks like you're going to need to dig deep here.

If you want to use a combination of Leviation, Net and Silence to hide yourself amongst the luggage and stay in place undetected for the journey, go to 44

If you possess a useless item, a small useless item, and a rope and wish to fashion them in to a distraction device so you can sneak on to the coach, go to 45

Otherwise, you maybe just want to cut your losses and check out what the ship situation is like. Go to 35

37

You decide to cheat and rather than do something mage-y, you take a leaflet from Lone Wolf's book. When in doubt, find a spare horse tied up somewhere and steal it! Ok, sure, half the time that 'horse' is actually a dragon-mount or Kraan or Zlaanbeast, but sooo sorry we can't all be Kai Lords with cool mounts. Some people are mages and get stuck with the horses forever and ever.

You manage to find a likely candidate tied up in the stables of the guild, seemingly some diplomat or warrior or someone tied it up here. More fool them! You do that finger rubbing head bobbing thing like that one guys that

was later Doc Ock does in Indiana Jones, and try to figure out how to sneakily steal the horse.

Pick a number from the Random Number Table.

If you pick a 3 or below, go to 38If you pick a 4 or above, go to 39

38

You stealthily sneak up to the horse, and stealthily sneakily untie the tied up reins. You then rein in your stealthily sneakiness as you realise that the horse you picked has, in fact, got the owner standing right beside it. In fact he has just this second finished tying up the horse, and is now staring at you in disbelieve as you undo his hard work,

You nod, smile, hand him the reins, and then take many comically slow and wide steps backwards until you are back where you started. Maybe time to reassess your options again?

Go to 18

39

You wait until the owner of the horse has left (a useful part of any thievery) and then go to work. You carefully start undoing all the strange and irritating knots calmly. You first cast a Mind Charm spell to ensure that the horse will be suitably docile. You cast it on one of your dwarf crew, so they will speak highly of you to the horse. Eventually the dwarf just decides to feed the horse Bor Brew, which seems to work just as well.

Haha! You've got this all worked out. And you didn't need Animal Kinship nor Hunting nor any of those crappy skills Kai Lords have.

You get about five seconds of arrogant joy before the saddle you have loosened slowly starts to slip and move you to under the horse's belly. The drunk horse then decides to panic and launches itself fitfully and swiftly off in the first direction that takes its fancy - despite all your dwarf crew jumping on the thing to slow it down. Note to self: Never feed Bor Brew to a horse. Or never rely on the combined weight of dwarves to stop anything.

After what feels like hours of bouncing around on your head, you finally realise the horse has stopped. You simply slip off out of the stirrups, finally, and very groggily, on to the ground.

"Are you ok?" says a voice. "Need a lift?"

You look around blearily and realise you have been dragged along the main coach road. It appears the coach caught up with your own zig-zagging horse and the passengers have managed to help the dwarfs in finally stopping the horse.

"Umm..sure...thanks..." you say.

"No problem, I'm sure you won't mind us borrowing your horse to speed us up. Oh, and you're a Journeyman mage! I think...the horse seems to have stretched out your clothes quite a bit."

"Yes...the horse..."

"Well, that's great! We were supposed to travel with a Journeyman but he stood us up, some nonsense about thinking he had a ticket. Took his bags though, sod 'im. Help yourself to a new robe!"

Wow, this is looking promising. You've blagged your way on to the coach, and got a new, snazzy robe! No Crystal Star though, but still, can't have everything.

Speaking of which, it seems the coach doesn't have a Journeyman onboard - excluding you (ish). You might want to remember that for future reference!

The dwarves are stowed with no complaints that matter on top of the coach amongst the other baggage, while you get to sit inside with some fellow respectable passengers. Score! Only the splitting headache form being trampled by a horse can harsh your mood. Unless you possess some asprin, or until you can find some healing, you will automatically fail any random number pick you make.

Continue your journey by going to 40

40

The day is uneventful, and luckily the coach passengers have settled in to the journey now, staring out of the various windows, eating, and generally staying in blissful uncomfortable silence wishing the posterior-destroying journey would end. If you've been sleeping for the early part of the journey, you can finally come out and stretch for a moment. Although if you did not take the luxury sleeping option you've had half of your items stolen. Literally, all your items are now halved.

The countryside whizzes past quickly, though still not quickly enough to ever justify this as a valid choice to get to Dessi. Still, the powers of narrative hand-waving and artistic license are considerable. You take your turn looking out at

it rather than inward at the smug and smelly faces of your fellow passengers - dear Kai at least they are fellow countrymen and not completely foreign - and contemplate your next move in Dessi.

However, before too long the coach starts shaking alarmingly and almost tips over, coming to a bone-jarring stop. It appears one of the wheels has almost come off. You know, because someone has most likely sabotaged the coach. Either that or the coach almost ran over some idiot and damaged the wheel in the process. Who really cares about such things? Not you!

You all disembark with grumbles or worse forced cheerfulness, and you personally find a space to look around out of the way of it all, as does a rugged looking adventurer. Before too long the coach driver is repairing the wheel himself, and not too long after that the whole coach collapses on him because of something to do with a startled horse.

"It was an accident! I hope we aren't all blamed!" says the suspicious priest passenger.

"Why would we be? It's an accident and everyone around here saw it, didn't they?" asks one of the three triplet knight passengers, "You're a priest, aren't you? Everyone believes priests!"

"Am I? Oh, yes...so I ... am..." says the priest. He taps his fingers together nervously and looks put upon and shifty. No praying, you notice.

Luckily there's an inn close by, much to the joy of the pug nosed merchant. "Haha! We can get warm and enjoy some of my fine own label beer that I'm sure this place carries. While someone else can fit one of my patented reinforced wheels that I'm sure the stableyard here will carry. Haha!"

Well, there's no need to get involved in all the messy wheel replacement. Lounging around in the tap room of an inn and getting well fed sounds like an idea. Although perhaps a little bit of investigation...

Do you possess or have possessed a Crystal Star Pendant? If so, go to 84

Otherwise, you'll need to set your mind to the task at hand.

If the other journeyman is with you, and you want to ask his opinion, go to 78Or you can snoop around the merchant while he engaged in his showmanship. Go to 79You can try to engage the priest in conversation, although how he could give himself away any more you have no idea. Go to 80If you want to go investigate the three Knights of the White Mountain and see what they are doing, go to 81If you want to go check out what the adventurer is doing, go to 82

41

You walk up to one of the passengers that seems to have a ticket already.

"Hey guy, do you-"

"I'm a girl...I mean woman," says the woman you have approached.

"Sorry, I mean ...hey girl...woman, do you-"

"I'm one of the kitchen staff. Like, I speak to you every day. Do you mages really not care about anyone but yourself?"

"Well, when you say it like that, you make it sounds like a bad thing. I mean, the world does revolve around us! For example, you know that now I'm on this coach, there's going to be a death right? I wouldn't be surprised if this coach driver gets killed tonight on the journey. By one of your shifty coach passengers. Or maybe even you!"

"Wait, are you threatening to kill the coach driver?"

"Not me! I'll solve the mystery, just you watch. Bet you a coach ticket on it, in fact."

"Easy to solve the murder if it's you!" says the increasingly scared woman.

"No, I'm just saying the plot revolves around me, that's all!"

"Right...ok...take the ticket...I'm going to go take a ship.. weirdo..." she says.

"Don't you want to stick around to see if the bet works out? I mean..."

"Nope, leaving now...quickly. Don't follow me. Ship"

"Should be a good voyage without me there..."

"I'm counting on it!"

"No chance of a storm sinking it!"

"Weirdo!"

The woman rushes off, not even stopping to collect her already stowed luggage, Score! You have a coach ticket and a set of luggage if you want it. You are now fully set up for the trip, and happily take your place in the queue.

Go to 42

42

You stand in line ready to go in to the coach, and try to figure out which priest is going to end up being the evil infiltrator that will kill the coach driver and then try to kill you. Your task is made harder by a fellow mage in the other queue loudly protesting at having to purchase a ticket. Apparently he had a ticket, and is convinced it either fell out of his pocket, or it is going to come to him soon. As one Journeyman to another - the man is a Journeyman too - you can spot the behaviour of someone who doesn't recall the details of his mission, and is winging it with arrogance.

If you wish to give him your ticket - especially if that's the reason you have it in the first place - go to 46

Otherwise, you can go back to your suspicious crowd checking and waiting to board. Go to 47

43

You get the attention of the coach driver, presenting the five crowns for a ticket. The man gives you a speculative look, clearly weighing up your stretched robes against the fact they are brotherhood robes.

"You know, there are upgrades available if you want them..." he says at large.

"Oh, we'll I'm sure that-"

"For ten crowns you can sit in the plush seats on the roof. No riff raff trying to speak to you."

"Oh, really? That sounds-"

"For fifteen crowns you can sleep in the bunk seat at the back and stretch out and ignore the plebs."

"Ooh, comfortable! Still, I mean-"

"For twenty-five you can actually lie in the very back, below the luggage, completely entombed in silence, and where no one can stare at you while you sleep."

"Woah, I never thought about-"

"And for fifty crowns I'll let you take the coach yourself, and I'll go drink in the tavern for the next few days."

You stare at the coach driver for a moment, to see if he's being serious. It seems he is being very serious.

Decide on the amount of crowns you want to expend, and delete them from your sheet, and add a coach ticket to your possessions.

If you buy the basic five crown ticket, go to 47If you go for the ten crown upgrade on the roof, go to 48If you go for the fifteen or twenty-five crown sleeper, go to 40If you decide to buy the coach - you big spender you - go to 49

44

Using all your skills of magic, you manage to secure yourself in the ethereal strands of the Net spell deep inside the luggage rack, Silencing the commotion, and then finally expending some Levitation to make sure your weight does not dislodge the luggage and reveal your hiding place.

The coach journey begins with you in wonderful, blissful seclusion, cocooned from cares and passengers and coach drivers with their unreasonable requests for tickets and even cushion perfectly from the bumps on the road.

Sadly, all your spells and preparations have not accounted for the entire crew of dwarfs that then tried to attach themselves to the coach. The thing has been swerving wildly due to their weight, and also because the coach driver keeps looking backwards to figure out what the singing noise and lumpy shapes are. Worse, the dwarfs are not covered by your Levitation spell, so the weight of them above you has been slowly shearing the net strands and pushing against your levitaiton.

Finally, all your spells - and the surrounding luggage - gives way with a finally heard 'snap' and you bump unceremoniously out on to the dusty road, with several dwarfs thumping on top of you.

Luckily for you, the coach driver stops and comes to see what the deal is.

"Oh my goodness! I wondered what all that bumping around was! I've hit a mage! Look at the state of his robes and everything! Oh dear Kai! Mr. Mage, are you alright?"

You gesture from your prone position and give a 'so-so' hand movement. He rushes forwards to kick various dwarfs from your form, and lift you upwards. He dusts you down apologetically.

"I'm so sorry, sir! Didn't see you there, I was distracted by an infestation of dwarfs on the coach, whatever must you think of me? Please, allow me to give you a lift to...well, it's going to be Dessi actually. I know, it seems ridiculous

that I would go that long a distance on the road to there, but that's what I'm doing. Please, let me convey you there so you can find some Elder Magi to heal you properly from being run over by a heavy coach. Also, I have some spare robes in some spare luggage because a Journeyman mage decided not to come along. No ticket! I don't know what he thought he was doing."

Well, that's good. Guilt means you get proper set of decent robes, a set of luggage, and even a seat inside the coach. What more could you want? Well, to get to Dessi of course, but this is a great start.

You 'claim' the dwarfs to 'take them off the driver's hands' and then climb inside the coach.

Go to 40

45

You tie the useless item on one end of the rope, and the smaller useless item to the other end of the rope. You then undertake to tie and loop the rope in an increasingly complex set of shapes that start to resemble something that could raise Cthulhu...an Agarashi who is bad at getting up in the morning. And nothing to do with that other Cthulhu.

You quickly flip the assembly around a few hooks, ensuring the two useless items work perfectly as weight and counterweight. You have completely forgotten what you thought this rope arrangement was supposed to do, but what it actually does is catch around the neck of the coach driver as he walks over to see what you were doing and manages to hang him.

You let him go - after ensuring he's flopped around long enough to pass out - and then grab the keys to the coach...house that stores the horses. And also the keys for the ignition...proof hay you feed the horses.

Woohoo, you seem to have acquired a coach! And the dwarfs can start earning their keep by crewing it, you guess! This is perfect!

Laughing maniacally, you point all the passengers to quickly embarking - including the Journeyman mage just for the camaraderie - and then set off.

Go to 49

46

You walk across to your fellow mage, and present him with the coach ticket with a theatrical flourish and a good natured and brotherly smile.

"Goodness me and blessed Kai! Are you still a member of the guild, Donnie? Even with no star? I'm glad I'm leaving for a while if that's the case. And what's this? You've got a ticket for this coach and I haven't? What rot!"

"I...I was giving it to you," you say sheepishly.

"Quite right to. I am the Journeyman around here, you know!"

"So am I," you say quietly to yourself in to your deformed robes.

You fellow mage doesn't notice, having already arrogantly strode across to the coachman, flourishing the ticket.

Well, that could have gone ... better. Not a word of thanks, and many different hurtful words instead. Why are all mages such undeniable prats. Wait...

Anyway, if you possess five Gold Crowns, you can always buy your own ticket. Go to 43

Otherwise, the coach man is now staring at you, so you reckon all things and all rude people considered, it might be better to attempt to go by ship. Go to 35

47

You settle down with reservation to have to engage your fellow passengers, as the group engage in the sort of conversation engaged in by those who are either nervous to travel or think their lives are important and therefore fascinating to others.

There are a set of triplet Knights of the White Mountain you deliberately sit as far away from as possible. One always tells the truth, one always lies, and one always alternates lies and truth. Not only do you try and avoid the inevitable puzzle, but it's just a damned headache to deal with everything they say. Plus they look so much alike its just creepy. Also one is probably a Helghast.

Then there is a 'priest' that takes an instant shine to you, dominating the bulk of your time. "I'm an acolyte...I mean priest...of Vash...noo...uum..." he says, smiling nervously and perspiring wildly. He keeps trying to make awkward small talk, and unlike any priest you've ever met he never once mentions his religion. You notice he has a small tattoo of a serpent on his right hand wrist, and more importantly has a tattoo of Vashna's head just visible at the neckline of his robes. Also, he keeps trying to give you a flask of liquor, even though when you offer to share it he tells you he doesn't drink. You make a note to under no circumstances drink from the thing, though you can take it off the

man just to make sure he doesn't keep bugging you about it. Note it as a Backpack Item in the Place You Note These Notable Notes, or just go buy yourself some liquor because this gamebook isn't going to get any better, certainly not sober.

There's also a well to do merchant with a pug nose who clearly got it from someone punching him in the face one too many times, which is understandable given the man's constantly 'cheerful' chatter and constant ability to turn any comment or question by anyone into an opportunity to sell you something You make a mental note to steal his gold at some point, and perhaps pin a murder on him later just to get rid of him. After all, clearly someone will be murdered at some point.

Then there's an old, fat, jolly couple travelling for the sake of travelling and just being annoyingly thrilled about everything. There's also a couple of newlyweds clearly with some mysterious secret and who are far too happy to be taken under the wing of the older couple. The older couple make all the normal annoying pieces of knowing advice to the younger couple, and the younger couple happily smile and take it. Probably all Helghast too.

There's finally an adventurer who you take great pains not to stare at for too long, for fear of getting kicked or stabbed. Stupid athletic jock warriors with their dreamy physique and assured nature, all muscle and instinct and ...

Cough.

If you were kind enough to give a ticket to a fellow Journeyman, then he at least shoulders some of the conversational annoyance. Otherwise, the constant chatter of the people in here just makes your headache so much worse. As does the constant whining of the driver above regarding the behaviour of your dwarf crew above.

Of course, the man is still a mage, and you know what arrogant, pompous twits they all are, so you have a far from pleasant jour....wait?

Either way, moving on, the day moves on and your journey continues.

Go to 40

48

You take your seat on top of the coach as the rest of the passengers finally board. Wow, this is quite the seat. Wonderful and padded with great views of the outside - currently including watching a fellow mage stomping away muttering about not finding a ticket, or the ticket being invalid, or some such nonesense. Haha, poor sod! You rub yours in your own face with extra relish.

The coach driver gets on the front of the coach, and points out a set of spare luggage to you that the retreating mage had already had the driver put on board. Cool! Luggage, including a new and decent robe. Things are going pretty well for you.

Unfortunately, while you get to avoid all the passengers below, you are front and centre for all the tales and questions the driver wants to constantly bombard you with. And the padding doesn't make up for the ghastly fresh air, shining sun. You get the mother of all headaches as your hangover comes back in force, and unless you have a dose of apsrin, you will automatically fail all random number picks (ie get a 0) until you reach Dessi.

Sighing at the loss of money, you eventually make your excuses and clamber down in to the main coach carriage. Luckily, you have avoided the getting to know you / people still enthusiastic travel speaking, and manage to sit in comforting uncomfortable silence with your fellow passengers.

Go to 40

49

You rub your hands with glee, now finally owning the coach. Sure, the coach station may have some argument regarding that, but without a representative present, and the coach driver having deserted his duties, well... the coach is yours! Surely fair's fair!

You look to the rear of the coach to see exactly what the dwarves are doing back there. They seem to be dumping lots of the luggage. You are about to berate them, when the shape of their plans becomes obvious, bringing a tear to your eye.

They've made some form of improvements - Bor Brew powered improvements. You might actually be able to get to Dessi in an improbable yet still possible way by simple coach after all! Woohoo! None of this pretending a coach could actually get cross country to Dessi. What were you supposed to do, go through the desert of Vassgonia? Hah!

One of the dwarfs...is he called Nolrim? You really don't pay attention to these sorts of things... hands you a lever attached to a rope attacked to a pully attached to what looks like a musket that seems to be pointing to kegs of something. Bor Brew? Boom Powder? Who cares!

"Right, so under no circumstances-" he starts, just as you pull the lever and send the coach several hundred feet up in the air. Who knows what the purpose of the lever was for, if not for pulling.

The coach then falls several thousand feet, landing luckily in the water. Infact, it seems to be the waters of the sea around Dessi. Hah! Perfectly planned and executed journey! You had absolutely no doubts in your mind about anything to do with anything.

Sure, the coach passengers that came with you seem a little bit annoyed...or annoying...but you got them to Dessi in record time, so why are they complaining. Those that were only going as far as some stops along the way perhaps have a point, but eh, not really a point you care about.

You yell at the dwarfs to make what's left of the floating coach in to some form of makeshift lifeboat, and you head towards what you assume if the cityport of Hikas.

Go to 92

50

You walk up to one of the ship's captains of a particularly fine looking ship called 'The Floating Ship' and present your map as a credential. There's scrawling on it and ominous words and you're sure it will all be impressive.

"Wow, a map! Yeah, one of those will be useful. Sure, you can come on board," says the captain.

"Wait, what do you mean 'a map'? You mean you don't have one?"

"Nah, why bother. If we're not part of a story, no one cares where we're going so why have one, and if we are part of the story then we're going to get sunk by a storm soon anyway so why have one. Map'll be a novelty, really. Hope I get to use it!"

Well, that's an unpleasant reminder this might not be just an easy stroll along the sea. Still, at least you're not on a coach with the obvious probability of murder or the simply ludicrousness of the journey in the first place. To the ocean!

Go to 57

51

You find a ship with what looks to be a skeleton crew, and approach the captain.

"Fine fellow, I have some good news for you. I happen to have here a dwarf crew in need of some occupation, and I'm in need to a lift to Dessi."

"Bah, not a real dwarf crew. Not ones resentful from being passed around in a drunken game of chance, and drunk themselves on the finest Bor Brew. Can't get that around here from your Sommlendings, certainly not from a wet mage."

"Haha! This is your lucky day! Or it will be if you accept my dwarfs and avoid me Lightning Handing you for your insolence! Haha!"

Luckily no one needs to be blasted in the face, and the captain accepts your generous offer. Even better, your dwarf crew are still too drunk to object to your generous offer on their behalf. They instead get their heads down and start splicing the main brace and ....well, that's the only phrase you know, really. Anyway, they seem to be doing lots of wonderful stuff to the ship and the captain seems happy.

It takes quite a while for you to realise what the dwarfs are actually doing with their preparations, and when you do a tear runs down your face. The dwarfs are folding each sail around itself, sewing them in to vague balloon shapes. The dwarfs then put Bor Brew barrels underneath each sail, and light them on fire.

My goodness! They are creating a skyrider for you! That's...that's so sweet, and touching, and clever, and attentive, and...wait, and also possible dangerous. Oh dear...

The dwarfs disembark sheepishly, and you all stand around while the captain glares at you. Eventually the fire dies out when the ship sinks. Which, lets face it, would have happened anyway. Better here in the harbour where it's easier to retrieve...what's left.

You promise to get the captain a new ship, and with nothing better to do they come along with you. Ah well, plenty more ships in the harbour!

Go back to 35

52

No matter what amount you nominated, the ship's captain will want all your gold. All of it! They're an annoyingly canny lot, those ships' captains.

If you have at least 6 Gold Crowns to give, and accept losing all you your 'hard earned' gold, then you will be allowed to embark. Go to 57

If you do not have sufficient gold, or if you do not wish to give it up, then time to try again with another ship. Go to 35

53

You walk up to one of the ships' captains and offer your services as a medic for the voyage. "I can cast Mend for you, as long as there's running water...maybe a boat lowered beside the sea or... something?"

"Sounds good. Sails are over that way," says the captain.

"I don't think it works like that..." you start to say, but are given such an unfriendly glare that you start messing around with submerging the closest sail in the water out of embarrassment.

And it works! You mend the hell out of that sail! Who knew? I guess brotherhood mages never think of doing anything other than their own skins, and repairing other things is beneath them.

Something occurs to you, and you tentatively attempt some rework on your shabby robes. It works too! You now have a decent set of Journeyman robes! Wow!

Filled with a renewed sense of purpose and self-worth, you embark on the ship ready for your trip.

Go to 57

54

You find a ship's captain that looks superstitious, and offer your magic abilities to 'sense evil'. You are sure to make a spooky 'oooooh' face and set of hand gestures as you do so. The captain seems suitably impressed, and tells you to board.

"Wait a minute!" they suddenly say, "you didn't sense that amorphous blob of smelly evil right behind you! Fat lot of good you are!"

You turn around quickly in terror, and then laugh. "Ah, silly captain. Those are my dwarfs! And...they ward off all manner of evils. Though, not all of them, so you would still need me too. Haha!"

You and the captain have fun laughing at the smelly evil of dwarfs, and the dwarfs stand around smelly-ly in oblivious oblivion. Eventually you tire of mocking the less fortunate and embark on the ship.

Note that for the duration of this voyage, you can automatically pick a '9' for any look out duties.

Go to 57

55

You realise this is a no brainer really. You cast Mind Charm on a passing dolphin, persuading it to stiffen up and allow itself to be used as a figure head. You then find a ship with a boring figurehead, and offer the captain your services.

"Hey, captain! I have this wonderful and life-like figurehead for the front of your ship. And a crew of dwarfs to go install it. All I ask is for passage to Dessi."

You also make sure you cast a further Mind Charm, so that a passing pedestrian will say 'Hey! That sounds like a good deal to me! And I have no idea who this charming young mage is!"

The captain is completely persuaded, and you have a spot on a ship - woohoo! Making sure you assign a few dwarfs to keep the poor dolphin wetted down and fed with fish, you go settle in.

Go to 57

56

Bah, you decide to join the long history of heroes and heroes' sidekicks and protagonists by stowing away on the closest ship. What's the worst that could happen? Nothing! They'll be glad of you when something happens like a ship's invasion, or some such thing.

You carefully sneak in through a porthole in to a small storage area, squeezing through painfully but successfully.

You then settle down for a good sleep, laughing at your own cleverness. You wake up a little later on with a nose filled with water. What's happened? Why is the room filling up with water? You can't have hit a storm already, surely. The boat hasn't even left the harbour...although the river bank and harbour wall seems to be rising up with alarming speed...

Of course, you forgot about the dwarfs. Their Bor Brew filled bodies are too wide for the portholes, and so they went and drilled their own ingress holes.

The ship is now sinking quite quickly, far more quickly than would allow you to escape.

Your life and mission ends here

57

You settled down on to the ship, realising that the rocking and rolling of the ship possibly won't do any wonders for your hangover. Unless you have a dose of asprin (or maybe they are jelly beans) you can ingest, you will take a -1 penalty on any random number picked.

If you wish to sample a hair of the dog and ask the dwarfs for some Bor Brew to avoid such headaches, ignore the above penalty and sink in to warm oblivion. Go to 58

Otherwise, you decide to stay up and keep a watch for any storms, raiders, or opportunities to pirate other ships for as long as your stamina holds out. Pick a number from the Random Number Table.

If you picked a 0 - 2, go to 58If you picked a 3 - 5, go to 59If you picked a 6 - 8, go to 60If you picked a 9, go to 61

58

You're jolted awake, having fallen asleep pretty quickly, and realise time has barely passed. You're not even passed Ragadorn yet! What's going on? What woke you up.

The answer is scary, as you realise some Lakuri pirates have managed to bang in to the ship. They all just seem smelly and horrible. You wonder if they are secretly foreigners?

The pirates swarm on board the ship even as you scramble to your feet.

Lakuri Pirates: COMBAT SKILL 24 ENDURANCE POINTS 30

Don't worry, you don't have to fight them. I just wanted you to realise what a tough fight the crew have in store for them. CS24? Youch. Even Lone Wolf might hesitate at this one.

Still, not your problem. You can go hide in the storage and await the battle's finish. Go to 62

Well, unless you possess a Bronin Warhammer, and want to go do a Vigor spell then leap in to battle? If so, then go to 63

59

You bravely try and stay awake, but between hangovers and boredom you end up sleeping inside a coil of rope using some dwarfs as human blankets. Still, the air seems to get colder and colder, and eventually its too uncomfortable to doze.

Looking around in a daze, you realise what has happened. The ship seems to have drifted out a little in to the Kalte, and its apparently pack ice time. Wow, quite thick ice to reach all the way close to the other mainland.

That's when you spot the gathering dots on the horizon

"Ice Barbarians! Right ahead!" you yell out, pointing. "Also, maybe an iceberg."

The crew gather in fear, realising they don't have long before the ship will get swarmed by ice barbarians ...somehow.

If you possess a fused bomb, you could throw it over the side to destroy the ice. Go to 64Or, you could rely on the old faithful of Lightning Hand to do some ice-y damage. Go to 65Or you could rely on the even better old favourite and go hide until it all blows over. Go to 62

60

"Sharnazim!" comes the cry, though not from you because you fell asleep.

"Kai bless you!" you say, coming to and pretending to be attentive and mage-y.

It turns out you are making ridiculously unreal time, and are now rounding the coast of Vassgonia. Soon be in Dessi! Unfortunately, the Zakhan's personal guard / secret police / warriors / whatever have decided to take to sea and blockade coastal traffic. They seem to be claiming that they're looking for pirates to protect their merchant's ships, but it's pretty clear that they are just using the excuse to raid as many ships as they like.

You don't have long...what's the plan here?

Get the captain and your dwarfs to make the ship look as pirate-y as possible, as a double bluff? Go to 72Get your dwarf crew to rig the boat with all the explosives and guns you can to be as scary as possible - prickley and explode-y? Go to 73Gather together all your cargo and try to bribe your way past? Go to 74Try to trim the fat and outrun the Vassgonians? Go to 75Or persuade the captain and crew to prepare to be boarded and fight? If so, get in position after then go to 62

61

You are sure you are getting near Dessi. In the distance, you then spot a small boat bobbing in the water. What sort of idiot would be floating around on the water in what looks like a makeshift boat? Odd person. Actually man, by the looks of it!

After a lot of arguing, it seems like you somehow talk yourself in to be lowered in to a lifeboat yourself and make for the man. You know, to not spook him with the huge vessel. Plus, you realise you can always rob the man without pesky witnesses around. Yay!

"So who are you?" you ask, as your boat pulls up along side the man's boat.

He seems pretty happy to speak to you. "My name is Tipasa the Wanderer, though you can call me Mr. Edarouk."

"Bless you."

He gives you a strange look. "So, what's a...mage?...like you doing floating around here then?"

"Oh, you know, missions of daring-do and such like."

"Really? Are you really a hero on a mission of daring-do?" He looks at you with suspicion.

"Yes!" you say, feeling a little put upon.

"But your main ship hasn't even been hit by a storm," he counters.

"This is very true, it's actually got me a little worried to be honest. Anyway, what about you?" You try to give him a suspicious look in return. He seems awfully foreign and smelly to be a foreign and smelly Dessi...ian?

"Oh, I usually wander around Vassgonia, so I thought coming this far away and also floating on the watery sea rather than staggering around the Dry Main might be a wise idea."

"Found something you shouldn't have?"

"Indeed. The bottom of the fourth jar of Kourshah-"

"Bless you."

"-so apparently I might have offended some officials I shouldn't have."

"So you decided to lay low here?"

"Majhans yes! If I said anything nasty to the government, imagine what I might have said to the neighbours or my wife! That Sourshilla-"

"Bless you."

"-has a nasty temper on her, surprised her husband hasn't faked his own death already. And my wife might have been taking lessons off of her. So probably for the best."

You nod as if in understanding of any sort of romantic or urban problems. Maybe you can see if Tipasa has any issues with people yanking at his robes and mocking him. Or, of course, maybe not.

What you can do, of course, is offer him a drink to allow him to continue to blissfully forget his woes. Or humorously give himself some new ones.

If you wish to be nice to a person WHO IN NO WAY SHAPE OR FORM IS SOMEONE WHOM YOU WILL LATER HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH AND SO MOST DEFINITELY SHOULD BE A PERSON TO BEFRIEND NOW then go to 91

If you deicide to take your leave of the man, given you must still be close to Vassgonia and need to carry on much further, go to 67

62

You emerge from hiding after a suitable interval and look around. Oops, it appears that the entire crew has been slaughtered. Or captured. Or just buggered off. Or maybe they arrived at Dessi, disembarked, and the ship's just floated away again.

Who knows? Anyway, your dwarf crew is still around, apparently having fought off the raiders, or been deep in the storeroom drinking or something. And if you have a spare ship's captain, then you can make good on your promise and give the ship to them.

Still, this doesn't help you get to Dessi now, does it? I mean getting there is easy, just keep the coast to your right and keep sailing. But how are you supposed to know when you're supposed to stop?

If you possess a Map of Dessi, then you can wing it until you see a familiar coastline. Go to 66

Otherwise, pick a number from the Random Number Table.If the number is even, go to 61If the number is odd, go to 67

63

You puff out your chest, wrap a strong grip around the halt of your mighty weapon (careful now...) then close your eyes and swish the hammer left and right while screaming at the top of your lungs.

A great void opens up in front of you as no-one - friend or foe - wants to get in your way.

"Who is that? Why do they have a weapon that can harm me? Fools!"

You open an eye to see who it is, and see one of the pirates is striding forewards with purpose. Then his face melts - noooooo! Helghast! A Helghast pirate was apparently hiding at the back, and now he's angry that you have an enchanted weapons that could hurt him, and that none of the pirates took it from you in combat to keep him safe.

This might go badly for you...

Do you wish to use the powers of Lightning Hand? Go to 28Do you want to use an Invisible Shield? Go to 69Do you want to use Levitation? Go to 70Do you want to use Sense Evil? Go to 71Or will you trust to your martial skills and Kai and just start swinging? Go to 68

64

You are glad to have a use for the fused bomb, and quickly light it and then chuck it. Everyone panics because you can't throw worth a damn and it landed on the deck, luckily there are many sailors around happy to chuck the bomb for you.

The thing sails off in to the distance, and then explodes satisfyingly. After a moment, nothing appears to have happened, and you feel a little embarrassed. Then, a moment after that, the ice breaks with a roar and a huge sea serpent emerges. It appears you have rung some form of dinner bell, and the serpent darts left and right to go eat the barbarians.

Well, not quite what you expected, but still, all's well that ends well, right? You go back to sleeping, and let the crew get back to taking you to Dessi.

Go to 61

65

You dig out the old faithful Lightning Hand, firing bolts left and right to smash up the ice until you are exhausted. Unfortunately, all you have really done is give the Ice Barbarians the equivalent of water skis and surf boards with all the shards of ice.

The barbarian swarm up to the ship with ease, and you are too tired to run away. The barbarians look around and square off against the ship's crew, but then spot you. With cries of .... something.... the barbarians swarm directly at you, and the ship's crew are happy to let them take you.

It appears that after Vonotar's rule they are drawn to the robes of the Brotherhood. Whether they miss Vonotar and want another mage, think you are Vonotar, or perhaps hate Vonotar and want to punish you, that's beside the point. A man in a robe doesn't survive well getting dragged across the Kalte, especially when you forgot to wear your thermal undies this morning.

Your life and mission end here, with some unfortunate shrinkage thrown in.

66

Haha! Haha! Ha! Ha! Haha!

No, you haven't gone insane, nor has your dear narrator (any more than normal). Instead, you have found the coast of Dessi. It looks beautiful in the distance, and you would swear you can even see the cityport of Hikas on the horizon.

However, your feeling of jubilation is short lived indeed. A feeling or terrible uncertainty and dread starts to wash over you. You look around at the calm but not too calm waters. You look over to the blue of the horizon on each side of the ship. You look up to the peaceful skies above, with the wheeling of unperturbed gulls.

Shouldn't you have...crashed by now? Shouldn't something have caused the ship to be wrecked by now, with you (and most likely your dwarves) as the lone survivors? If you haven't managed to lose your ship's crew by now, they will look very. very nervous too. This is all highly unusual!

So....time to...steer the ship towards Hikas and dock...I guess?

A sea serpent smashes through the bottom of the ship just as a saboutaging fire reaches the powder kegs and booze store, and the ship explodes with a fiery eruption that cooks the monstrosity that smashes the wreck to kindling. Then the ensuing storm comes out of nowhere to put out all the fires and lift you and the dwarves up in to a terrifying waterspout to throw you closer to Dessi.

Whew, better late than never! Now you can relax!

Your tugged upon robes actually act as a floatation device - and if you aren't wearing them, then you can still tie them up to a billowy watertight cushion - and you happily bob around. You will need to remove and discard any Chainmail Waistcoats and Shields you possess as with all good Lone Wolf style storms, though if you possess those then you must be playing a wildly different game than this one. I mean I only have two more sections after this to back-fill before going onwards to Hikas, and I'm not planning on adding those items in, and I certainly haven't included them yet. Maybe you're just a cheat, or fell asleep and dreamt you were playing Fire on the Water? Or you just used that Action Chart because it was close? Whatever, get rid of them now!

Don't worry about any real clothing, metal items or armour you have actually been given in the text. Everyone knows only Chainmail Waistcoats and Shields would actually cause you to drown. You spend your time ordering the dwarves to use the remaining debris of the ship to create a makeshift liefboat. Given a complete lifeboat actually survived all the devastation, that's actually quite an achievement to ruin it so badly as to downgrade it to makeshift.

If you still had some crew with you, they've gone off on other floating detritus as they really don't want to be around you later for the inevitable betrayal of some helpful fisherman, or the being jammed on to spikes in a market square. Even though this is Dessi and you are all Sommlending!

If you possessed a second ship's captain, and hadn't yet given them a ship of their own, you can finally offer them this raft. Which they'll take because what else will they do, and therefore will still come along with you.

Anyway, you guess it's time to make your way to Hikas then. It's quite close now!

Go to 92

67

You carry on, keeping up the spirits of everyone still with you, even though you are starting to suspect that you are lost. Very lost. Very, very lost. The coast is familiar to no one, and its been a while since you've seen even signs of civilisation. You are close to turning back when you spot some form of cave, and hope it to be a smuggler's cave.

The crew try to argue, but you take control of the ship and steer it inwards, fingers and toes crossed. Though that's just a birth defect rather than something you are doing for luck.

The crew whine about the scary stalactites that might crash on the deck, or the stalagmite that tightly block the way and are hard to navigate around. After that, they start to witter on about the fact the ship is now falling not drifting down the new passageway beyond. Once they are actively complaining about the acidic seas you are now sailing upon, and the ship is now falling apart because of, you have to drop the act and admit you are probably in the body of a sea serpent. Oops.

Really, there's only one thing for it. Lightning Hand!¬ Go to 28

Or if you don't want to use your magic in such a way, then you can carry on sailing and hope.

Go to... nope. Just no. Nope nope nope nope nope. I'm not describing a journey any further down the anatomy of a sea serpent. Certainly not to any exit you might be interested in and hoping for. The ship falls apart way before that, and your life and mission end here.

Trust me, it's a less messy end than it could have been. Stop sniggering at 'messy end.'

68

You decide that swinging a hammer without care got you this far - which to be fair was putting you in harms way - and so decide to carry on. And it works out just as well, putting you in harm's way.

"Thank you...ouch!" says the Helghast as it grabs the hammer from your hands then winces in pain as the magic burns its hands. It thumps you on the head with every wince, then changes hands to thump you on the head with the hammer which still seems to hurt, and then finally he tosses the hammer over the side and goes back to thumping you on the head.

Wow, this is doing nothing for your headache. Well, right up until the terminal point where it lets up fantastically.

Your life and mission end here, but then so does your hangover, so that seems to be a draw overall.

69

"Pah, you pathetic ma-" Ouch.

"Hah, I'll send you back to Na-" Ouch.

"Hah, I'll rip your n-" Ouch.

"Ok, this is just embarrassing."

Your Invisible Shield is just awkwardly placed so that the Helghast can't really get round to you, but you can't manoeuver to get a swing at it. It keeps slip sliding around to just making it hard to not look like idiots as you stagger around.

Eventually, you accidentally turn the wrong way and push the Helghast in to the sea.

"You idiotic mage! I'll come back up there and -"

With a roar a gigantic sea serpent springs out of the water and engulfs the Helghast whole.

"- then wrap your entrails around your -"

The serpent burps an odd refrain of Helghast curses.

"- won't be smiling when I punt you nurbleburbleblah-"

The sea serpent roars once more with an odd echo to it, then dives in to the water. The Lakuri pirates seem as much embarrassed as intimidated, but they also don't seem to want to go back to their ship given the sea serpent. The ship's captain ensures the pirates - who are decent chaps when you get to know them - are put to work at the oars below. Who knew the ship had oars too!

The excitement has all been a little too much, and you leave the crew to their stuff while you go sleep until you get somewhere more interesting.

Go to 61

70

You quickly do a few mage-y gestures, and with a flap of your robes you start floating up in to the rigging. The Helghast moves forwards to grab you, and therefore discovers the exact flavour of Lone Wolf and Friends underwear you wear. And worse yet, discovers how badly they fit.

"AaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!" screams the Helghast, dissolving in to ashes and so apparently dropping dead.

"Wow, I killed him with what was under my robe," you say to yourself. "Is that a good chat up line or something to never admit to anyone ever again?"

"Actually, I killed the thing," says the captain, "you dropped the hammer when you were running away, so I killed it."

"Aha! My plan to distract it worked, then?" you say, bluffing.

"Yes. As was your plan to let me keep your hammer. You're having a good day," says the captain dryly before walking off. With your hammer. Dammit.

Oh well, I suppose being alive and being on course for Dessi is still good. You pause to Net all the remaining pirates and push them off the boat just for fun, but really you just want to lie down and be with someone who appreciates you for a while - you.

Go to 61

71

You cast Sense Evil because...you really don't know why. However, it comes as a surprise to find your senses are directing you, not to the Helghast ahead of you, luckily not to the 'you' that is the player, but some dumb but strong pirate to one side.

"Oh wow!" you say to the Helghast, "apparently that guy is much more evil than you!" You point the Helghast's attention to the other pirate, who hasn't even noticed.

"What? More evil? Impossible! I have no soul! I burn people's throats out and pretend to be them to subjugate their kin. I kill kittens for fun and voted Republican in every election. Evil!"

"Nah, not as evil as that guy," you say with a shrug.

"Nu-uh! I'm totally evil. I'm 'totes' evil. See, saying 'totes' makes me really evil!"

"Eh, still not as evil as that guy..."

The Helghast goes off to start a fight with the evil and still pretty oblivious guy, right at the same time you realise you actually cast 'Sense Weevil'. Oops. Oh well, best you take advantage of the lack of limelight, and go hide somewhere until this has all blown over.

Go to 62

72

You get the crew to paint the sails red, rip up their outfits a little - so they start looking like you - talk like a pirate, which is just fun, and also go stick a few corpses on the outside of the ship because Firefly references rule!

The ruse appears to work, and a Sharnazim vessels comes alongside, gives you a nod as if you are actually one of them, their crew give you complimentary nods to your corpses (which are just passed out dwarfs) and then points out a few merchant vessels to go pillage.

You manage to get a few chests filled with various materials, jewels, coins of all types and fine trading wares. You can also choose to grab a merchant outfit if you want a change of clothing.

All in all, it's jolly fun, a good bonding exercise, some wonderful stress relief, and you are sad to have to leave the area. Still, you can now settle with your bed of money and stolen goods. Feels good.

You even found a good map of Dessi that will let you navigate well to the coast. All in all, a good day!

Go to 61

73

Despite the increasingly concerned reactions of the crew, you get the dwarves to place copious amounts of Bor Brew kegs at every major part of the ship. While the dwarves are busy, you then give all the really dangerous muskets and rifles to the ship's crew to distract them. There's not much you can do to assuage the ship's captain's fears, but that's fine as they jump overboard anyway. If you have a spare ship's captain (don't laugh, you actually might!) then this would be a perfect time to bring them out. They won't be any happier, but gift horses and all that.

You take the wheel of the ship and push it towards the nearest Sharnazim vessel.

"Let us through or we'll blow the ship up! Try and board us and half of you will die, then we'll blow everyone up anyway!"

The Sharnazim ship's captain looks your vessel over. "Half of your crew are going to shoot themselves or blow themselves up with the rifles. I don't think you can blow up a ship if we board. And I don't care if you blow the ship up anyway. Go on, do it!"

Well, we'll soon see about that. No one calls your bluff! Hah, last person that did that ended up losing their dwarf crew to you. Though on a more sober reflection, you wonder if they deliberately lost just to get rid of the dwarfs.... after all, they seem awfully ready to blow up the ship with you on it...

No time to think about that now, how will you call the Sharnazim's bluff?

Will you use Lightning Hand? Go to 28If you possess a torch, you can throw it at one of the barrels. Go to 76Otherwise, you crumble like a Kai Monastery wall (too soon?) Go to 77

74

The sharnazim aren't unreasonable, and after taking half of everyone's possessions (including yours - and yes, if you have an odd amount of items you must leave yourself with only half of one), and half of the crew.

They realise that a ship's captain is important, so they will only take half of them. If you possess a spare ship's captain, then you can make sure that captain gets the ship to keep your promise, and you can let the old one get taken away because really you never promised them you wouldn't let them get captured by Vassgonians. They should have signed a contract or something.

If you still have a full ship's captain, or possess a Map of Dessi, then you can carry on towards Dessi now. Go to 66

If not, then you might have a problem - half a ship's captain is no use to anyone, especially when they split the captain horizontally not vertically. You were relying on anyone with half a brain being able to steer the ship, and getting that half a brain. Instead, there's a chance you might be stuck with a pair of legs - and one them is wooden, too. That's just not fair.

Pick a number from the Random Number TableIf it is even, you get the body - woohoo! Onwards to Dessi. Go to 66If it is odd, you get the legs. You go where the peg leg point and hope for the best. Go to 67

75

You urge the captain to sail around the blockade as fast as possible, dropping as much weight as possible. Anchors, cannons, and lesser crewmen are chucked off first. In the spirit of camaraderie you dump all of your dwarfs overboard too. Still, one of the swiftest Sharnazim vessels is threatening to catch up still. You start throwing off more item and crew, and even the captain in your panic.

Still, the two vessels are evenly matched in speed! One small mistake on either side could cost you dearly. You are forced to make the ultimate sacrifice and dump out everything except your Crystal Star Pendant - if you ever found one - just to give you an edge.

Nooooo! The damned vessel is starting to speed up now! There's only one last thing left. Yes, it worked! Your ship steams on ahead of the other vessel with frightening speed. Of course, you jumped in the the sea. You suddenly realise this means you aren't able to share the speed of your vessel. Well, physics was never something you studies - you are a mage, after all. The Sharnazim vessels pulls up alongside, and you are yanked aboard. Oddly, the Sharnazim warrior who captures you is a little short on clothes, weapons, or companions.

"Had to ditch everything to catch up with you!" they say, and then points behind him, "made it pretty hard given you kept tossing people overboard we had to catch. We had to really cut trim the fat to keep up with all that extra fat added!"

You look around and realise the sharnazim is now alone in terms of his countrymen, whereas all your ship's crew and your dwarfs are all soggy but aboard. And starting to come to their senses and realise the situation...

"So, only got two questions...well, more a question then a statement really," you says to the Sharnazim.

"Go on?"

"Where does Vassgonia actually end and Dessi start?" you ask. The Sharnazim dutifully points to a far off pinacle of rock on the coast. "That's cool, so I guess all that leaves is for me to say 'bye'. Bye!"

So saying, you push the Sharnazim off of the boat, and you and the rest of the 'prisoners' go about sailing this new ship onwards towards Dessi.

Go to 66

76

You stand with a heroic pose, then are forced to come out of that pose to fumble your backpack for your shoulders and root around angrily in your pack for the torch. You come back up in a heroic pose like nothing has happened, then angrily go back down again to actually light the thing using your tinderbox and flint and steel inside. You then spend a dispiriting minute or two trying to get the damn thing to light. Stupid sea air and sea spray!

Eventually, with far less heroic enthusiasm, you stand up, adjust your robes, and then half heartedly throw the torch over your shoulder. You've even forgotten the snappy one -liner you were going to say.

Still, the torch knows it's its time to shine! It slowly spins end over end, doing its theatrical best to extend the moment for drama. All around it Sharnazim and dwarfs and ship's crew start screaming and panicking. Cowards! If any of them had any heroic spirit, they would have noticed that the fire of the torch pretty much instantly went out when you threw it.

You take advantage of the confusion to go make yourself scarce until this has all blown - haha! - over.

Go to 62

77

You drop your posed hand, and nod sadly at the Sharnazim captain's words.

"Yes," they say, "you want to see what is in this ark just as much as me!"

Wait, what? While the Sharnazim is quoting Raiders of the Lost Ark at you, one of the ship's crew sees their opportunity and raises their musket to fire. Of course he has it pointing backwards, but luckily avoids shooting himself in the face. Unluckily, he shoots over his shoulder in to one of the kegs by the mast...and near losts of other kegs.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

You and your dwarfs who were climbing to the top of the masts to get a good view of all the destruction are thrown across the water and on to the Sharnazim ship.

"Wait, what?" says the Sharnazim captain in disbelief at the destruction of your old ship. He them looks around at the rigging where you all have landed. "No! Now we're infested by dwarfs too! You've seen what happens to ships infested by dwarfs! Run! Run for your lives! Abandon ship! Abandon hope!"

That said the whole Sharnazim crew - and soon the crews of all the other ships around - start jumping in to the water. Well, that's just weird.

Still, you now have a better ship, your loyal dwarf crew, and no impediments. Hmm, no idea where you are sailing either, of course. Sort of...keep going with the coastline to your right and hope?

If you possess a Map of Dessi, then you can wing it until you see a familiar coastline. Go to 66Otherwise, you just carry on trusting to your luck. Go to 67

78

Your fellow journeyman leads you off to one side as you look to discuss your next move here.

"Well, as a Journeyman of the Crystal Star it's important to understand the world, notice the small details, and formulate accurate information," the man starts off in full pomposity, "a lonely endeavour, to be sure, but have no fear young peasant, I shall shoulder this burden and arrive at a suitable conclusion and see us on our way."

"Wait...I'm a journeyman too!" you protest.

"Haha, of course you are, in your heart, I am sure. Do not worry yourself unduly, just know you'll never achieve the level of greatness a mage will mental, and go about your life as best as lowly people like you can do."

Man, why is every single mage ever such an inconsiderate jerk and arrogant pr-

Wait...

Anyway, ignoring how mages such as yourself are to lesser people (ie everyone else), and getting back to the fact that your fellow mage is showing the same disrespect to you, you try and persuade him that the priest is a little shifty, and when he poo-poos such nonsense, you point out how easy it is to think the merchant is shifty.

"Bah, I am sorry I have given you the impression that I needed your help, young one..."

"I'm the same age as you! We were in the same classes you pr-"

"...but such is my benevolent nature and aura, I suppose. Now, please, go to the tap room and procure myself and my ally some refreshments with

whatever it is you people use for currency. We have work to do!" The Journeyman points to the Adventurer standing off to one side looking at everyone suspiciously, then moves off leaving you fuming.

What a prat! You'll never be like that to another person. Well, another real person. You know, a fellow guild member.

If you want to prove yourself to the journeyman, and go interview the priest, go to 80If you want to go try and pin something on the merchant, just to show him, go to 79If you want to try and go head to head with the man, you can try getting the adventurer's attention yourself. Go to 82If you decide 'what's the use', you can decide to go to the tap room after all and grab some booze. Go to 90

79

The merchant is busy trying to hold court and get the attention of everyone, pointing out all the wonderful things he has been able to sell to the small service station - and which he no doubt gets a small piece of.

You are able to sneakily sneaky using sneaky Silence spells and more importantly the fact he's just so self involved and everyone else's brain has shut down. You note the slivers of wood under his fingernails, and the patches of dirt on his knees. Very interesting... however, the biggest discovery lies elsewhere...

Check out the size of that belt pouch! It's bulging with coins! You sneak it off his belt and on to yours, after weighing it in your hand. Hmm, you'd wager there's 25 Gold Crowns in here! Ugh, and probably 80 Lune too. Stupid foreign currency. Still, should come in handy.

Just as handy as the various marks he has from slipping when trying to get on the coach earlier at one of the rest breaks. The coach is so rickety that he got slivers in his fingers catching himself when he fell. Still, more than enough to frame him for the murder later. Although now you have his money, you don't need to justify killing him for his money. Hah, who says being a sneaky mage is worse than being a Kai Lord who has to kill the wrong murderer for their coins!

You idly wonder how you are going to go about solving the murder issue, when suddenly there is a commotion!

Go to 83

80

The priest is all 'poor dead driver man' this and 'I hope we aren't suspected' that, and keeps trying to steer you away from the tap room of the inn.

"I say!" he finally says, "I do believe this is where one of the chapters of my religion is! All praise Vash...noo...umm..." He looks shifty again. "Say...would you mind us not going to the tap room, and instead going down this dark alleyway away from the revelry where we could not hear the alcoholic revelry anymore, and co-incidentally no one would hear over that in there even if we were to scream and shout? I'm sure the chapter house is just down here, right at the end and round the corner of this completely deserted and distant and dark alleyway."

If you think this is actually a good idea, go to 85Otherwise, time to dig out Lightning Hand! Go to 28

81

You walk over to the three Knights of the White Mountain - they really are identical triplets, it seems - and realise they are pitched in a vigourous argument. You can tell them apart only because they have a 1, 2 and 3 on their respective knightly tunics and armour. They probably can't tell each other apart either.

"You were adopted!" says the first knight nastily to the second, clearly angry from an earlier debate."That's a lie!" says the second knight to the first, stating the obvious."I wish I were a Kai instead," says the third brother, not quite under his breath enough to ignore being heard by the others.

However, luckily for him he spots you. "Hey, you're a brotherhood mage!" says the third happily."I wish you were a Kai instead," mutters the second brother under his breath, managing to not be overheard by the third brother.The first brother takes the opportunity to run forward and make the case he was arguing apparently. "The priest killed the coach driver!" the first brother declares declaratively.

The second brother rolls his eyes. "Shut up, the merchant killed the driver!""You're only saying that because you're adopted," retorts the first brother."It's these guys, you know," whispers the third brother to you pointing to his own brothers, finally learning the way to not be overheard.

Wow, if you didn't get to know your fellow passengers earlier, I don't know what you think of all this! You're probably just going to have to rely on luck and choose a section for fun.

However, if you did get to know your fellow passengers - against your will - then you know a little something about them to help you work things out now. And then go choose a section for fun. Really, it probably doesn't matter too much in the end...

If in all this you realise that the merchant must be the killer, go to 87If you think - duh - the priest was the killer, go to 88If you think the first and second brothers are actually joint killers (unexpected Scream ending), go to 89

82

You go to try and strike up a conversation with the dreamy...you mean dramatically good warrior to see if they have any clues on the murderer, and also if they will be interested in a slightly wet yet gosh darn brave in his own way mage tagging along.

The adventurer rolls their eyes, and clearly has no time for you. They throw a 'journal' at you, which you see is Female Assassins Monthly. Ooh, Viveka might have a candid article inside!

You quickly leaf through the pages, and are treated to the horrific sight of Thog the Barbarian nude. You realise the horrible truth - the adventurer is trying to get rid of you, apparently in a fatal manner with such a ghastly image.

Their motives are clear, and the conclusion as obvious as your next course of action. Go to 28

83

Quite a crowd has built up around the coach. It seems like the adventurer is holding court, speaking about the murder of the supposed coach driver. Or the supposed murder of the coach driver. Or the murder of the driver of the supposed coach.

Apparently the journeyman mage was a great help - or if a second journeyman wasn't on the trip with you, the 'great help' is in audible quotation marks and said pointedly about yourself. Apparently there was something to do with a priest, a merchant, and a set of knights. Or maybe the adventurer is just cracking a joke. Really, you lose interest because it's not about you and annoyingly it seems the mystery has been solved, and people have been lynched, or captured...or maybe the adventurer was just inviting everyone to the taproom to get drunk. Whatever's happening, it seems the adventurer is all happy and successful and popular and you can't even get in close enough to

steal anything good. You bet a Kai Lord could do it. You sigh and steal a rock instead, and give it a pet name and pretend it's a shy tortoise.

All in all, this would be a horrid end to the first day, except you realise something...without a driver, there's no one to claim the coach. Except you.

The adventurer has departed with whomever they arrested/killed/made their drinking buddy, and when you point out the coolness of the improved coach driving situation some of the passengers decide to head off and drink too. Ah well, at least some of the passengers and your dwarf crew have some form of faith in you. Faith or the power of a Mind Charm, who knows. If the journeyman was with you, he's not anymore. good riddance to that mage, they really are all prats. Wait...

At least the dwarfs have fixed the wheel for you...though they have some grins regarding that for some reason.

Deciding not to take offence at any of it, you instead take the reigns of the coach, yell 'all aboard' and get ready to undertake the journey again.

Go to 49

84

You walk around, getting increasingly weird stares from people. You go round to the small livestock area the inn has for fresh milk and eggs, and pick up a chicken to play with as a way of keeping busy and avoid stares.

"Why are you covered in blood? Are you pretending to be a mage? Are you a murderer?" ask the growing mob of people. "Did you kill the driver?"

You try to laugh it off, saying your robes aren't stained, and pointing to the Crystal Star Pendant around your neck to prove you are a real mage. Hmm, the star does seem a little slick though...as if... covered in blood. Well that's odd, after all, Helghast don't bleed.

"Wait, where's my chicken gone?" you ask, looking for the chicken you were holding.

"There...are no chickens..." says someone in the crowd. "I've got a baby, if that helps?"

Noooooooooooo! You realise the horrible truth. You actually did kill a poor fellow mage...well, not poor, the man was very bro-ish... and stole his stuff. You monster!

The mob grab you and you are arrested and people make tutting sounds at you and so on and so forth. You know, they do the sort of things reasonable people would do when confronted by the horrific actions that most player characters engage in as standard practise.

Your life and mission end here, though hopefully when you restart you can figure out the best route to take that can avoid any twinges of conscience.

85

You decide to go down the dark and deserted and remote alleyway with the completely not suspicious and completely harmless seeming honestly priest.

If you have a Torch and Tinderbox you can always light the torch for all the good it will do to light you way along.

Not that it really matters, because once you turn the corner of the alleyway - going in front, at the urging of the priest - you are suddenly brought to a sharp and painful halt.

"Wait...the Church of Vash-Noo-Umm, all visitors welcome?" you say in shock, your brain aching at the metaphorical whiplash.

"Aha, I knew it was here!" says the priest happily.

"Brother! I mean, father!" says an emerging priest, apparently recognising your priest. The new priest looks to you happily. "Ah, he's just newly been promoted from acolyte to full priest and been let out in the world. Hope you lot haven't been making him too nervous! He hasn't got the hang of pontificating and proselytising yet!"

The new priest then looks seriously to the other priest. "Now, you haven't fallen off the wagon, have you?"

Your priest shakes his head. "The coach driver gave me a hip flask to be kind, but I resisted. And I came here rather than visit the tap room."

The new priest slaps the other one on the shoulder in comradely comradeship. Wow, is this what a supportive brotherhood looks like? It's weird...

"Wouldn't think this man used to be a ship's mate in his wild days, would you?" says the new priest. "Hah, you should see the tattoos the man has! Medusa figure all the way along his arm, and a fresco of King Ulnar slaying Vashna on the whole of his chest! Crazy days!"

"Back in my youth," says your priest, "perhaps these days I'm not cut out for much excitement. Can I stay here tonight?"

The new priest nods, and looks to you. "Thank you for looking after our completely innocent brother...I mean father... and for not thinking terrible things about him and assuming he'd end up being something like a murderer or what-have-you. Please, allow me to give you a trinket or piece of equipment to aid you on your journey!"

The new priest happens to have a 'lost and found' box at the door so that anyone can come back and regain lost items, or the poor can come and take what they want from. You may take any one item (or more if you are a horrible person)

Decent robes (Special Item)Map of Dessi (Special Item)Useless Item (Backpack Item)Large Useless Item (Backpack Item, takes up one extra Word to type)2 Meals (Meals)

You suppose you should be getting back, even though you can hear yelling and other noises of stupid fellow passengers. The new priest offers you the hospitality of the church and hot food if you want it instead, though.

If you want to stay here, go to 86If you decide to go see what the commotion is back at the coach, go to 83

86

The food ends up being poisoned, and the hospitality ends up being a nice altar where you are sacrificed to Vashna after all. Ends up it was all an elaborate double bluff. Ah well, ce la vie!

Your life and mission ends here. Don't go in to dark alleys with strange suspicious men again!

87

"Haha!" you say, "logically, you sir, are a liar," you point to the first brother, "you sir are a flip flopper of the highest order, only telling the truth about me," you point to the third brother, "and so logically I agree with you, mister second brother sir, and so the murderer is the merchant! Haha!"

"Well, he's got us all pegged," says the three knights as you stand around smugly.

However, if the journeyman is with you, he'll happily point out that you're assuming someone is telling the truth to call you a mage. When actually someone would be more likely lying if they say they think you look like a brotherhood mage. So in that case it would mean it would have to be both the merchant and the two other brothers. Well, which it could be, why not have contradictory murderers working together. But then it's just as likely to be the priest and the merchant then. Oh, unless the third brother is just an idiot and really does think you are a brotherhood mage. In which case there's not one but two cases to be made for the merchant and other brothers being in cahoots. And of course, we're just relying on it being a lie that the second brother is adopted. But maybe he's a Helghast or something. Or the parents adopted all three of the triplets. Or are idiots. So maybe it could be the two brothers after all on their own.

Really, who needs logic puzzles!

Anyway, whether it's because of your smugness or the journeyman's nattering, you only slowly notice that the three knights have buggered off. Still, at least the first knight left you with his armour as a thank you for believing him. Wait, that's a weird thank you. Maybe he's a Helghast after all?

Ah, who knows. There's a ruckus back at the camp, and so you go off to join it in the fun. At least you know you solved it, maybe. Despite what anyone else thinks.

Go to 83

88

"Hah, the priest killed the driver, it's so obvious!" you say with surety.

"What, so I'm adopted?" says the second brother, bursting in to tears.

"Don't be stupid," says the third brother reassuringly, "my brother could be the one who alternates truth and lies. I mean...our brother. You're not adopted."

"Wait, so that's means the merchant would have to be guilty aswell because I'm telling the truth," says the second brother. "No, hang on, that means you lie all the time. So I am adopted!"

"Look, let's not worry about who is adopted and who isn't and..." you start then realise something. "Wait, you mean to say you don't think I'm a brotherhood mage? The cheek! Look at these robes!"

"Look." says the first brother, "let's not worry about who is adopted and who isn't. Seriously this time. Let's just concentrate on the fact that we should just go lynch the merchant and the priest. And then maybe everyone else just to be safe."

"Sounds like a plan!""Better than what a Kai would do!"

Huh, the brothers sound a little bit to happy-go-murderer-y for your liking. Still, who cares. The important thing is why did the third brother not think you were a mage?

You go off in a sulk along with the three brothers to see what all the commotion is back at the coach. And apparently to witness a series of lynchings.

Go to 83

89

You point an accusatory finger at the first two brothers. "You're fooling no-one, you fools! It's so obvious you two are in cohoots! Your brother is right!"

The first brother sighed. "It's a fair cop. I just lie all the time. I'm a liar. Well, obviously, not all the time, I mean that would be ridiculous. Sort of invalidates the logic puzzle, really. But you know what I mean."

"Indeed," says the second brother, "I guess I shouldn't be too sore about the three of us being adopted by a Durenese family, I mean that's just proof they're good people, right?"

"Wouldn't that also invalidate the logic of the puzzle?"

"Probably, but that's not the important thing..."

"Yeah," you say, "the important thing is that means you don't think I'm a mage!" you say to the third brother.

There's some other wittering away from the knights regarding coach drivers and Helghast and so on, but really the revelation that you might not be considered a mage, that all your logical gymnastics might be for naught, and you might not be considered a mage makes you pretty apathetic about anything else. Stupid people not thinking you are a mage.

You guess you'll just walk back to the coach and try to work out what the commotion is you can hear.

Go to 83

90

You walk in to the tap room, and look around for the innkeeper or some form of bar staff. However, it seems that half the staff and patrons are outside watching the growing drama with your group, while the rest seem to be engaged in another round of guessing a murderer in a different coach party. Really, does no one just get together to drink anymore? Oh, wait, you were wrong, there is a small group of people in the corner...one seems to be a dark mage enchanting two poor schmucks who were trying to capture mage.

You are bemoaning the state of drinking establishments in Magnamund fantasy these days when you spot that all the beer barrels are blissfully free from observation. And blissfully free of being Kai Beer! You always suspect the Kai monastery beers taste like cat urine because Kai monks are devout and don't like real alcohol. Well, either that or because they come from cats.

You manage to round up a few of your dwarf crew, and convince them to take the 'lesser' beer kegs on the understanding that eventually those kegs could be used to house more Bor Brew.

You pause to say 'the priest did it' to the group in the tap room, while walking out to see what's happening with your own group. There seems to be some form of commotion now. What, did the Journeyman promise everyone beers? What a cheek!

You stomp outside. Go to 83

91

You take pity on the poor man, after all he seems to have some form of cold or something with all the strange sneezing noises he keeps making, and gesture for one of the dwarves that decided to accompany you to bring some Bor Brew.

If you possess any other spirits, you can palm them off on to Tipasa...haha, or 'Tipsy' as you're going to call him soon... and have the Bor Brew for yourself. Otherwise, sadly you'll have to share with him. And really, who wants to drink what a dirty foreigner is drinking. You decide to leave it to him.

One way or the other, Tipasa is merry in no time and singing your praises. Literally. In between the strange tunes and odd sneezing noises, he seems to be offering you his services if you ever needed them, and tells you that you are welcome to come around his house whenever you like. Hmm, given how poorly this adventure is likely to end, and how often you are in trouble, you reckon that having another place to run sounds like a good idea. The Dry Main? Might be a good featureless place to move around in and keep your head down for when you've annoyed enough people. Especially if you can get some form of flying ship from Dessi!

Tipasa points you in the direction of the port of Hikas - darn, you are really close to it, apparently! - and offers you the advice of not to take up the offers of any fishermen for help. Hah, like you needed that advice. This isn't your first rodeo. Actually, this still isn't your first rodeo, since it's a sailing voyage not a rodeo.

If you gave Tipasa some other alcohol than Bor Brew, he will be able to accompany you and settled down for a nice rest.

Otherwise, the man slurs more comradely words, telling you that if you ever need help in a heroic mission, or more likely need to help a real hero with a heroic mission you happen to be tagging along with, to never hesitate to look him up. He then gently slides off the boat an in to the water, which quite frankly will probably improve his smell when he wakes up, You're sure he will be fine.

Either way, you are really close to Hikas apparently! Your mission! You decide that your lifeboat is too far away and carry on in Tipasa's rickety makeshift lifeboat instead, and settling back get your dwarves to paddle you onwards to glory! You also make sure to circumvent any weirdos in other boats.

Go to 94

92

You watch as Hikas gets closer and closer, a dot on the horizon becoming some obvious buildings and so forth. You also start to see some movement onthe water - it's another rickety boat! A small fishing vessel with some nice fishermen! They seem to observe your barely worse boat, and your general wet clothing, and surmise you are in some form of distress.

They gesture to you to come closer and come aboard, and make the universal sign of safety - the thumbs up across their necks to show you how safe your neck will be when you come aboard!

If you want to take them up on their generous offer, go to 93If you are worried that your dwarves will show you up, and make for an uncomfortable social situation, you can regretfully decline and soldier on yourself. Go to 94

93

You climb aboard the fishermens' sailing vessel, to jolly merry laugher of all. You reassure them that it is just you and your crew of dwarves (or mostly dwarves), that no one would miss you were you to - say - be robbed and dropped off the ship with your throats cut, and that indeed you do seem to be carrying an awful lot of really very interesting items.

That out of the way - it seems a Dessi-i-ian custom of pointing out exactly how generous they are being and how perilous your situation was - they show you wonderful hospitality with sharing food, conversation, tales and drink.

You even pass the time robbing the occasional shipwrecked sap, stealing their items and dropping them back in the sea. You manage to acquire a Dessi merchant's outfit if you want it, and also 20 Lune. Which you want to throw back in to the sea, but you have to show willing hospitality.

In fact, it's all going swimmingly, and it seems rather a shame when you are forced to have all the dwarves chuck the fishermen in to the sea themselves in order to not have to put up with their smelly foriegness anymore. Shame, they seemed like such decent chaps and chapesses too!

Still, you manage to find a few items like several swords, a Chainmail Waistcoat and a Shield. Woohoo! That's who gets those items from shipwrecks! There also seems to be a bunch of fish in their fishing nets too. You guess they were returning home after a successful catch.

Deciding that this rickety vessel is marginally better than your own, you have the dwarves propel this one towards Hikas instead.

Go to 94

94

Your makeshift vessel slowly disintegrates as you get closer and closer to the entrance to Hikas, for Hikas this certainly is. The wooden monstrosity finally gives up the ghost within feet of the harbour wall, and some Dessi...i...ans?... end up jumping in the water to help you all out.

Sadly, you lose your Backpack as you are pulled out of the water, but luckily your oversized robes - no matter where you are currently storing them - are actually being used to keep all your stuff in. So that's ok.

The dip in the sea water makes the Dessi..i..ians?.... less offensive to your nostrils, and so you don't say anything you regret that might make their welcome less friendly. As it is, they seem to act as if this is all part of a normal day's efforts. You get a nice warm mug of something probably best not to drink, a towel to dry yourself off, and then are basically left alone to get the

run of the city. Well, that's a bit weird. No wonder the Elder Magi are no longer the champions of Kai, if that's how city security is in this place!

You make sure your dwarfs are all accounted for, and take a little less care if you have any other hangers on - though sadly they are still hanging on. Anyway, it seems you have made it to Dessi! The first part of your plan...the part you actually planned....has worked. Any ill effects you may have felt from your earlier adventures will now be cured if they would have been cured in Dessi. Being an insufferable prat due to mage-y-ness sadly won't be cured.

Soooooo.... hmmm... what was the second part of the plan? Something to do with trying to get some form of mission or something, maybe, to justify hiding here for a while? Well, you're not going to do that in some harbour quarter. Well, at least after managing the improbable distance to get here so soon, Elzian itself should be no issue. No, it seems to be that you need to do something cool or find a cool contact that will let you see the Elder Magi and try to blag some form of mission from them. Kai Lords seem to manage to do it all the time, after all. Their order was founded on such principles of pretending to sort out the problems of foreigners to impress the king back home!

You use you limited knowledge of cities of mages, history, geography, and then just trust to luck to find yourself a decent quarter to investigate and secure your passage to Elzian and a mission! Although you start to suspect that your previous travels won't be quite so inconsequential in overcoming this new hurdle.

If you want to go to the merchant's quarter and see if you can barter for information, go to 95If you want to go to the magic quarter and commune with some of your opposite number in Dessi, go to 96If you want to try your luck in one of the various taverns in the city centre, go to 97If you want to stay in the harbour area a little longer and trust to your luck, go to 98If you want to cast the spell of Prophecy to help you decide, go to 99

95

You walk around the merchant quarter, seeing all manner of stalls, sales, artifice, artificers, merchants, vendors, salespersons, raconteurs and purveyors of wonderful things. You are quite enchanted with it all, and so it takes you a while to realise that not only is no one trying to actively sell to you, but they are actively ignoring you.

Is t because you are from another country? Is it because you are a mage? Is it because you look like a terrible mage?

The truth seems to be far weirder. Apparently the merchants in the merchants' quarter actually gather to sell to each other. After all, who has the most money, the most taste, and also in round about ways owes a favour than another merchant. As long as you appear to be just a ...shudder... customer, they don't really care.

If Tipasa is with you, go to 101If you possess a merchant's outfit, and wish to put it on, go to 102If you possess a set of luggage, you can always try and sell various items out of the suitcase on some street corner and see if you are accepted? Go to 104Otherwise, it all seems quite futile really. Eventually, you will need to head back and try a different path. Go back to 94

96

If you possess a decent set of robes, or if a Brotherhood Journeyman is with you still, you can always go to the magic quarter and speak to some of you opposite numbers here in Dessi. go to 96

97

If you possess a set of armour of some kind, you can pass yourself off as a warrior and go in to one of the hardier taverns to seek information. Go to 97

If you still have some passengers tagging along, and at least 10 Gold Crowns / 40 Lune, you can always go to the tourist quarter. Go to 99

98

If you still have a ship's captain with you that you owe a ship to, you can always stay in the harbour area a little longer. Go to 98

99

The spell of what? Do you think this is the World of Lone Wolf? Did you mistake Banedon for Grey Star? They are two entirely different character played by two entirely different friends of Joe Dever back in the day! Sheesh. What, did you think just because you were in foriegn Dessi and the Edler Magi powers were sort of the same as the Shianti powers in the d20 rule books that it would work?

I mean, yes, it does work, fine, but still...don't expect it to work again!

Anyway, you cast the spell and get some funny looks as you lie on the ground to 'meditate'. During your quite vivid dreams you get a feeling of doom from most areas. You have odd visions of mirrors in the merchant's quarter, as if they only like speaking to themselves, aside from those with knowledge. You then get the odd vision of mirrors from the magical quarter, as if they only like speaking to themselves, and a vision of people turning their nose down at you personally. You then have odd visions of the harbour, and...eh, you get the idea. You also see a Vakeros patrol the harbour looking for filthy foreigners to persecute. Which you are totally behind! You feel that the taverns here - the good ones, anyway - only cater to warriors and tourists, whatever that might mean.

Hmm, not sure if that helps at all. If it does, go back to 94 and choose the option you think you might be able to adapt to.

If you don't rate your chances with any, then there is always the versatile spell of Lightning Hand to get you out of any jam. Go to 28

Ok, if you don't want to trust to that dubious option, you really have no other option left. You need to start walking towards Elzian. After all, there's a big white shining tower to steer towards. How hard can it be? Go to 100

100

101

You also observe another curious thing. Tipasa appears to be getting attention, freely walking around and speaking to the merchants. He occasionally trades with them, and occasionally just gets money fom them.

"What's...what's your secret?" you ask in hushed tones during one of the breaks.

Tipasa looks at you not comprehending, and you point out the sheer apathy you are being treated with. He still doesn't see the problem until someone else other than you is also treated with disrespect by the merchants.

"Oh, they are ignoring everyone!" he says comprehending, oblivious to your black looks. He then shrugs. "Don't know. I was just trading information, trying to be helpful. They seem to value that, weird information. I guess if they only speak to and trade with each other, then there's going to be a limit to what they know in the end. And knowledge is money. Or time is power. Something like that."

Hmm, knowledge, huh? Well, they've come to the right place. Or they're ignoring the wrong place, but will soon come to regret that. No, actually, they won't, since you will try to make them pay attention to you.

So, should you do something flashy like a Levitation spell to get their attention to show off your mystical knowledge to trade? Go to 105Or do you think now you know their psychological levers, a well places Mind Charm will work? Go to 106

102

You manage to look the part, and blend in with the other merchants. You chat away happily, saying 'buy low' and 'sell high' and nodding and smiling at their tales of gouging fellow merchants. You get the feeling that actually selling to and gouging normal people is beneath them, like vampires forced to eat rats.

Of course, you can look the part, and apparently talk the part - ish - but you can't make any progress without actually selling something!

If you possess an large amounts of items - merchant goods, shoals of fish, barrels of beer other than Bor Brew - you can now act the part and start selling them off. Go to 111

If not, then the only thing you really have is your dwarf's stores of Bor Brew. You miiiight be able to get them to part with them, but there may be consequences later on if the Bor Brew runs out. You can sell barrels of Bor Brew, but after an initial high sale of 40 Lune, it will keep decreasing to 30, 20, 10, then 5 Lune as the tales of the horrors of the hangovers quickly circulate. Note down the fact you are now short on Bor Brew, and also note down how many barrels you have sold off.

Note that the merchants will also offer a down on their luck fellow merchant the opportunity to convert any Gold Crowns to Lune at a near proper exchange rate of 1 Crown to 3 Lune.

If you can get to 120 Lune or more, then you start to attract the attention of some of the upper crust. Go to 110

If you decide not to risk dwarf anger nor your precious gold, then you will have to cut your losses with what you have, and go back to find another area to mine. Go back to 94

103

Unless you are leafing through these sections randomly, and don't know this is supposed to be the hidden section that answers a riddle, then you have come to the right place! You have answered the question correctly.

Wait, well, you've answered a question correctly. It might be the wrong answer. Sitll, it's an answer. Think of the fun you can have replaying later to figure out what this was the answer to, and what the answer to your original question was!

Confused? Probably...

Anyway... the merchants look in slack jawed and merchant-y foreigner-y amazement as you bust out the answers to their pressing questions. You have money shoved in your face from various directions to provide answers to follow up questions that, quite frankly, you realise you can just make up.

You make it out of the growing crowd with 120 Lune to your name, though sadly Tipasa seemed to get lost in the throng. Still, with this sort of money - not real money, but money nonetheless - burning a hole in your pocket, you find that a better class of merchant are paying attention to you.

"You really should go see the Asda the Great Merchant," says one of the snootier merchants talking through his nose at you, "he has a mart by the wall over there. He always likes to get to know the up and comers"

Sounds good! Now you are getting somewhere! (Honestly, you are!) You walk over to see this revered man.

Go to 107

104

You set up away from the other snootier merchants for now, hoping to slowly sneak in with your makeshift suitcase sales. However, what instead happens in you start getting a crowd of ordinary people - well, ordinary except for their smelly foreign-ness - looking to at least buy something.

Woohoo!

But do you have anything to sell?

If you possess any form of cute pet, go to 108If you possess any useless items - I mean literally something labelled useless item - go to 109

If not, you'll have to start selling items you possess. Each item can be sold for 10 Lune - smelly foreign currency - including the luggage itself. If you have any Gold Crowns, you can sell those off at an exchange rate of 1 for 1, though that's so annoying because that's not the exchange rate at all! But these foreigners don't appreciate the fact your gold is money. Or they are just far craftier than you.

If you now possess 120 Lune or more, go to 110.Otherwise, you pocket the money you earn, but realise that there seems to be no opportunity to get in with these snooty merchants. Go back to 94 and pick another avenue.

105

You float up in to the air, wafting like some form of religious figure above their smug and ignorant faces. Hah, just wait until they look around and realise you have secrets available to the highest bidder!

Unfortunately, merchants in Dessi are actually religious - stupid Elder Magi walking around being all like gods - and so your appearance is mistaken for the second coming of their capitalist emissary.

Like all good merchants, they want to be the first to grab as much as they can, and get some exclusivity. Exactly the different between this and simply being torn apart by a rampaging mob is subtle and hard to exactly define. Especially for you, given you have just been torn apart by a rampaging mob of fervoured merchants.

Your life and mission ends here, but your various parts earn large amounts of money and start a new religion. Though not a very good or long lived one.

106

You crack your knuckles, and with a big crowd of merchants around cast your Mind Charm. Tipasa doesn't notice a thing as you persuade him to divulge all his secrets to the merchants to make them like you.

It works for a while, but before you can properly leverage it in to money the merchants start realising that all Tipasa's knowledge is just about Vassgonia. Who cares about that? You got too greedy, you should have lured them in with tid-bits not given them the whole lot at once!

"Gah," says various merchants, "who cares about those sandy places! We want to know important thing, like how many Helghast are hiding amongst the Lakuri pirates, or how many Border Rangers you'd run in to walking around the

Guildhall of Toran, or how many Knights of the White Mountain usually travel to Dessi by coach. You know, important stuff!"

Wow, you might be able to get somewhere after all. Assuming you know the answer to those three questions. Take the three numerical answers, and form them in to a section to turn to (so if you think there are no Helghast, one Border ranger, and two Knights, that would be 12). Then go to that section. Then come back here, because you are most likely wrong, especially if you went to 12. Then go off to some other wrong section, but just squint and decide that it sort of makes sense and just keep following that path.

Of, if you are both stupid enough to be honest and also not know the answer, then sadly the merchants grow bored of you. You are forced to leave and pursue a different avenue. Go back to 94

107

108

You bring out the cute little pet, or pets, or whatever it is you think are pets, and start a cute little demonstration of them cutely assaulting and fouling your luggage and tearing it all to shreds. Aww, bless! You lose the luggage but gain an appreciative crowd, all starting to wave their weird silver money in your happy face.

If you possess a Bronin War Hamster, you can get 80 Lune for it. If you possess a murderous potato, you can get 40 Lune for it, and also have the fun of seeing it choke some poor Dessi...i...ian. And if you possess a pet rock, then with tears in your eyes, a lump in your throat and a hole in your heart you can part with it for 20 Lune to a sweet child that always wanted a tortoise.

If you didn't really have any pets, or if you haven't yet reached 120 Lune in your possession yet, you turn to your dwarf crew, who are really like pets in that they follow you around, demand things from you when they want them, amuse you at times, but otherwise don't care about your existence in any meaningful way and are annoying.

You can sell off members of your crew - don't worry, they'll come back eventually, only you can stand them, and they're used to being bartered away by now. You can get 10 Lune per dwarf, but selling any more than three in this manner will result in your crew being reduced in efficiency. You'll need to note how many you sold, and the fact that you are short on dwarfs, and also punch yourself if that seems somehow funny to you.

If you manage to raise 120 Lune or more then you start attracting better attention than these normal peasant-y customers. Go to 110

If you decide this you do not wish to succeed in this manner, then you cut your losses, hug your pets and dwarfs and tell them you love them, then go back and try a new avenue of progress. Go back to 94

109

People will buy anything if you can sell it with enough patter. It also doesn't hurt that you use Mind Charm in order to have your dwarves possess the confidence to start making up such patter and drawing the crowd in. Before long they are fighting for the Useless Items you have collected on your travels.

If you possess a Large Useless Item, you can sell it for 80 Lune. If you possess normal sized Useless Items you can sell them for 40 Lune each. And if you possess a Small Useless Item you can sell it for 20 Lune.

If you possess 120 Lune now, then yay! If not, then you've now got a crowd of customers who will buy items they think are useless for inflated prices. So you can swap them Gold Crowns for Lune at the exchange rate of 1 for 2. I know, still terrible, but twice what they would have given you originally!

If you manage to raise 120 Lune or more then you start attracting better attention than these idiots who will buy anything. Go to 110

If you still can't raise sufficient funds, then you pocket what you have, nod at having at least gotten rid of the Useless Items that usually clutter your inventory, and decide on a new plan. Go back to 94 and try a new avenue of attack.

110

Your greater belt pouch contents soon attracts more well off merchants, wandering over to sell you their luxury goods and generally welcome someone as snooty and well off as them in to the ranks. I'm not sure why they'd mistake you for one of their stuck up brethren, with no thought to the lesser people they are fleecing.

One particularly smug merchant comes over just as you are about to steal a lollipop from an infant, and places their arm around you. "You are new, and yet you have made such a name for yourself in such a short time! It is most impressive. You must meet our most prestigious member, the unofficial top dog and ruler of the merchant quarter! She loves to meet fresh talent!"

The friendly merchant's hug is quite overpowering, and besides isn't this why you were doing all this? To find a route to get to Elzian? To be honest, with all

the options I've forgotten myself, but it sounds a good resolution so let's go with it. You stagger across to meet this powerful person!

Go to 107

111

You manage to walk around wheeling and dealing, even getting a respectable space to sell the significant ill-gotten wares you managed to obtain over the whole adventure.

If you managed to obtain either the shoal of fish or barrels of non-Bor beer, you easily make 80 Lune and 120 respectively just off of the initial deals on the items. Well, unless you are dressed as a Vassgonian merchant rather than a Dessi one. In which case, you only get 40 and 80 Lune. Why are the Dessi..i...ians such racists? Who knows, smelly foriegners.

However, for a fellow well to do merchant, no matter the outfit, you can also trade your Gold Crowns for Lune at the proper exchange rate of 1 Crown to 4 Lune.

If this manages to get you to be holding 120 Lune or more, then all is good! If not, you'll need to spend a little longer wheeling and dealing. You lose an hour for every 20 Lune you are short of. This might be important, so be sure and remember it somehow - like being late for work by that many hours tomorrow.

If you had a shipful of goods to offload, well you are in luck. Like, really, really in luck. The connections you manage to make and the deals will ensure that you don't need to worry if the game asks you about money or items again. Aside from a Crystal Star Pendant, you will be able to get any item or any amount of currency you are asked about. And you've got a few wonderful merchant connections too should you need them later!

Well, unless you made the mistake of being dressed as a Vassgonian. In that case, you only manage to raise the inital 120 Lune to start with. Pushing through the inherent bigotry is so hard, so you cut your losses for today and leave the set up business to the first person you can palm it off on to. That and the fact pretending to be a smelly foreigner sets your teeth on edge. So no extra contacts and all items for you!

No matter the hardship or lack of it though, your efforts see success one way or another. The better class of merchants now pay attention to you and deal with you. Indeed, one of the most opulent looking - with a magnificent stall over by the wall - looks across at you, and she barely even acknowledges the

lesser merchants. She snaps her fingers and beckons imperiously for you to come across to her. All the snooty merchants are giving you big thumbs up and encouraging nods, and you have a feeling you have managed to score the big time.

Go to 107

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