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Page of 1 28 The Solitude of Swimming A short story by K.C. Sharpe

The Solitude of Swimming

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Three swimmers challenge each other as they struggle to thrive outside their comfort zones. Bartender Scott discovers his forties are turning out to be more than just a phase, while Tasha the psychologist faces her fears and college student Mannish learns what it means to be a part of a team.

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The Solitude of SwimmingA short story by K.C. Sharpe

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About 5,650 WordsK.C. Sharpe8404 Forest Lane #401Dallas, TX 75243(214) [email protected]

The Solitude of Swimming

By K.C. Sharpe

1

Helpless heroes broken by bullets and bombs wait for Tasha

to heal them as they struggle with the stress of surviving. New

cases motivate her and closed cases inspire her. Journeying down

the hospital hallway, stopping in room from room, she discovers

a returning patient.

Pushing down her anxiety with deep breaths, Tasha exerts

intense eye contact and listens to the patient’s confession.

When he explains the overwhelming urge he had to drop his baby

over an atrium railing, her eyes zigzag as she tries to recall

overlooked clues from previous sessions. He tells Tasha he can’t

be around people he loves because he is afraid he will hurt

them. Frightened by the finality of failure, she listens but

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wonders how she can manage this mistake and correct her

miscalculations.

2

Scott searches the hotel room for his clothes while Ben,

lying in bed, tells Scott to stay and stop being a hooker. The

difference between him and a whore, Scott jokes, is whores

charge; he gets rewarded. Tip by tip, good bartenders flirt when

they are cooking cocktails and cracking long necks, Scott says.

As he pulls up his jeans and buckles his belt, Scott says he

navigates between tempting without teasing before promising he

does not entertain, but he is entertaining. When Ben skeptically

looks back with an eye roll that reviews the damage the two did

to the hotel room together, Scott confesses when he does trick,

they treat.

Without apologizing, Scott owns up to being into out-of-

towners and hooking up at hotels. He says boyfriends at home are

bad for business, so he tricks with visiting businessmen and

trampy tourists who have other places to go and different lives

to live. Hotel sex, he continues, brings out the lover in him

and turns his passion into tiny temporary moments like

honeymoons and affairs. Once dressed, he jumps back into bed and

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makes out with Ben one more time. Between kisses, Ben invites

Scott back home to Boston — his treat.

3

The whole fraternity groans during the chapter meeting when

Mannish gripes that he is not on the flag football team. Eric,

the intramural chairman, responds back, calling Mannish by his

nickname, saying Slumdog has the mind of a jock, but the body of

a mathlete. Mannish laughs with the rest of his brothers,

pretending to threaten hacking their email accounts.

Another brother uses the moment to criticize Mannish’s

performance as social chairman, adding Slumdog should forget

about intramurals and focus on getting more girls to their happy

hours. Eric agrees, saying he loves Slumdog but he needs to stop

the spontaneous keggers and put more into planning and promoting

parties. Mannish slams back with a smile and says he loves Eric

back but he needs to start building some winning teams so the

house has something to celebrate.

4

Carol Christmas feeds Scott another shot and zips up the

back of his dress for the Annual Bartender Review. He says this

is not what he had in mind when he asked Carol to be his drag

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coach. Carol reminds him he needs to compete if he wants to keep

his shifts. Scott reminds Carol he needs to win if they want

those plane tickets to almost anywhere. He adds he hates the

dress, the wig, the shoes, even the song. Before Barbra

Streisand starts to sing “With One Look” from the musical Sunset

Boulevard, he shouts over the opening instrumental he really

hates his drag name. Carol hands him another shot and tells him

to shut up and swallow. Taking one last look as soon as the

emcee introduces Scott as Tammae Duexmae, Carol grabs his shot

glass and pushes him onto the stage.

Frozen at first, Scott lip syncs to Streisand singing her

show tune. He can’t remember the words or the choreography, so

he makes up moves and flirts with the audience. Regulars rush up

and hand him dollar bills as they vote for their favorite

bartender. His composure is clunky and clumsy as he stumbles

across the stage, laughing when he should be singing. He is

still bending over and pulling dollars from the crowd before he

trips, falls backward and collapses. With his legs in the air,

Barbra ends the song, belting out, “With one look, I’ll be me!”

Carol rushes out and asks him how the heels are. When he says he

thinks he broke his ankle and not his heel, Carol is relieved

the shoes are fine.

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5

Holding candy apples and cotton candy, Tasha bends down to

hug her twin boys after they run across the midway to reach her.

Their father walks behind them carrying a turkey leg and a

stuffed panda. She tells them how much she missed them and asks

if they had fun weekend with their dad. Both talk over each

other, rambling off adventures about nachos, water guns,

goldfish and Ping-Pong balls. She listens to their father as he

sarcastically highlights new skills and emerging talents like

flushing toilets, washing hands and putting away toys. Tasha

hugs her sons again and says she is proud they remembered

everything she taught them.

Hand in hand, the twins lead their parents toward the

rides, their father mentioning how he heard Tasha wasn’t letting

their boys go to their cousin’s birthday party. Unsurprised when

Tasha explains it away, he gets frustrated and insists the boys

start taking swim lessons. She agrees and promises she’ll get to

it as soon as she finds a class that works with her irregular

shifts at the VA hospital. He says he understands and wants to

compromise, but admits he is tired of her excuses and stalling.

She assures him she will get the twins enrolled in swim lessons,

insisting she will not let them grow up afraid of the water.

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6

Again, Mannish’s father says no to a loan and repeats how

the old bike in the garage is good enough for racing. Mannish

pleads for money to buy training gear for a triathlon, but his

father resists and wonders who needs money to run. He talks

about growing up running everywhere in Mumbai for free, and that

he will not pay for another one of Mannish’s sports obsessions.

From basketball and soccer to lacrosse and hockey, he recites

the long list of sports Mannish grew up playing, including his

latest love of rugby and volleyball.

His dad credits Mannish’s mother for his love of sports and

competitive spirit, adding she was the athlete while he was the

student. To him, Mannish is neither a scholar nor a champion —

just average. Mannish grins and says his dad has to agree – at

least he is awesomely average.

7

Recovering from his broken ankle, Scott melts from fit to

flabby as he heals. First surgeries and stitches, then a cast

and crutches. After a boot, another operation festers

infections. His friends hang around long enough to sign his

cast, but move on over the months while he mends. Even Carol

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Christmas takes off to Provincetown with the almost-anywhere

plane ticket they won and gets a cabaret gig for the summer.

After the doctor says it’s okay to get back into shape,

Scott takes on the treadmill. His ankle swells. His knees ache.

His back spasms. A physical therapist recommends elliptical

machines, but Scott is fed up with not getting anywhere. Weights

aren’t working. Extreme boot camp feels excruciating. Yoga looks

awkward. Zumba sounds goofy. Depressed instead of disciplined,

he wakes up too hungover for morning workouts. He grows a gut

and gets back fat, and his chiseled cheekbones disappear while

his face gets puffy. His embarrassment cannot motivate him to

stick to any regular routines. Scott grows into middle age,

unconditioned and uninspired.

8

Too early to text, Tasha posts, shares and likes her way

around the Internet while her twins cannonball and belly flop

into the shallow end of the pool. She coaches her boys from the

bleachers and shouts at them to stick their faces in the water

and blow bubbles. She hollers, ordering them to kick with their

legs, stroke with their arms, swim underwater and float on their

backs.

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Although bored watching her boys bounce around, she is

excited to see early mornings in the pool make a difference. She

is calm as they splash around far from the deep end and

appreciates their confident carelessness. It is when they crawl

too close to parts of the pool that are over their heads she

jumps to her feet, screaming she cannot save them if they drown.

9

The dance floor lights can be distorting, but Scott

recognizes Ben from Boston as he approaches his station at the

bar. He shows off his surprise with a grin that’s nearly as wide

as Ben’s smile. His one-night-stand says he’s back in town for

business as his eyes scan Scott over. Sensing a sudden shift in

Ben’s enthusiasm, Scott amplifies his happiness and shouts over

the music that it is great seeing him. He repeats himself even

louder when Ben says he can’t hear. Ben shakes his head and

agrees, admitting it’s been a long time since they first met.

Unable to hear Scott offer him a drink on the house, Ben

yells back he should let him get back to work. He scopes out the

dance floor when Scott says it would be great to hang out before

Ben heads back to Boston. He says he has an early flight the

next morning, dropping eye contact. He backs away to let a

dancer get through and order a drink. Scott yells past the

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customer between them, telling Ben to stop by for a shot before

he leaves. More dancers start crowding around Scott’s station as

Ben cruises over to the other side of the club. A few songs

before last call as the crowd starts thinning out, Scott watches

Ben leave the club, guy in tow, without saying goodbye.

10

Mannish struggles with swimming. The closer he gets to the

other side of the pool, the more he looks like he is saving

himself from drowning. His strong and solid strokes turn choppy

and sloppy when he runs out of air. While Olympic swimmers he

YouTubes seamlessly skim across the water, Mannish drags

downward and sinks to a stop whenever he lifts his head to

breathe.

No matter how graceful he is dribbling on basketball courts

or striking on soccer fields, Mannish cannot coordinate kicking

and breathing with stroking and floating. Wading in the water

during childhood beach vacations was not helpful. He discovers

racing requires choreographing efficiency with endurance and

managing strength with power. Every sluggish movement and

punishing lap is awkward and exhausting, and Mannish likes it.

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11

Shy with shame, Scott gets to the pool early in the

mornings so no one sees him shirtless and he can swim solo.

After months of short workouts, struggling through ten, then

twenty and thirty laps, he gets the stamina to swim longer and

further. Too embarrassed to be seen out of the water when others

arrive at the pool, he is trapped swimming laps until everyone

leaves.

New confidence strengthens his pace when he realizes he is

out-swimming the young guy in the next lane. He gets the pool

back to himself once the mother leaves with her boys and the

other swimmer takes off too. Scott is energized by sore muscles

instead of feeling weak with pain in his bones. With each

stretching stroke, he grows taller and stronger.

12

Mannish shares his lane with the boys. He tosses the twins

around in the shallow end rather than swimming laps down into

the deep end. Their mother on the bleachers doesn’t mind, and

the man in the other lane doesn’t matter.

For weeks every morning, Mannish tries to teach himself

new swimming methods while attempting to visually pick up

pointers from the man who swims endless laps in the next lane.

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Mannish wades around when the children leave but cannot stay

around as long as the experienced swimmer. He never interrupts

the guy’s workout, but Mannish waits when he can as long as he

can, hoping to get some help to improve his technique.

13

After many mornings, Tasha sits closer to the pool but not

too close. She lets her kids learn from the young man in the

middle lane who struggles with swimming himself. Despite his

weak skills, she is not worried he will drown since he is taller

than the deep end. While the older man in the far lane is off on

his own swimming, the younger one plays and laughs with the

boys. He looks like he prefers lifeguarding her sons instead of

swimming laps as he cheers on the twins, competing to see who

can stay under water the longest.

She moves closer to the edge over a matter of weeks as

small talk with Mannish grows into longer conversations about

his triathlon training. Together, they study the man in the far

lane, analyzing his non-stop swimming. Mannish’s triathlon is

only weeks away, and Tasha worries he will not master swimming

before the race.

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14

The solitude of swimming is like traveling through time

warps. The water and the waves wash away the world. Surrounded

by silent splashes and muffled vibrations, all that matters is

the motion of the moment.

Scott grows within the water as the outside universe moves

on without him. Underwater, he rockets along until he floats to

the surface, sliding and gliding with each stroke. Stretching,

bending, rotating, reaching, pushing and pulling, his arms take

charge and lead with every lap as his heavy legs stay suspended.

Lost in the privacy of the pool, Scott focuses on what he is

accomplishing to avoid sinking with anxiety over what he has not

done. He counts strokes and laps instead of seconds and minutes

as he slips into a swimmer’s coma rather than a runner’s high.

He is only lonely outside the pool, back to feeling flabby and

forgettable as he blends in with other middle-aged men who

should be fathers or have a family of friends.

15

A month before the triathlon, Mannish charms more coaching

out of Scott. His confidence grows and he learns how to pace

himself to gain stamina. He cannot beat Scott in a race, but

Mannish manages to finish four laps without stopping.

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Between drills, he tells Scott stories about school and

weekends, family and friends, dating and breakups. He does not

learn much about Scott, but Mannish figures out how to drill

down beyond replies as short as ‘yes,’ and barely longer than a

‘no.’ He updates Scott about the triathlon as it approaches,

including when, where, and how cool it would be if Scott went.

Scott does not seem interested, so Mannish jokes around and

hypothetically asks Scott what kind of coach he would be if he

were not at the big race.

16

Around where the deep end begins, Tasha sits poolside with

her legs in the water, blocking the boys from leaving the

shallow end. She eavesdrops, listening as Scott instructs

Mannish and repeating his advice to her twins. She tells them to

watch and do what Scott and Mannish do, just not in the deep

end.

Mannish leaves early one morning and Tasha crosses the deck

toward Scott’s lane. She introduces herself, compliments his

swimming and suggests they surprise Mannish at the triathlon.

She ignores his excuses and talks him through her plan. To make

sure Mannish does not figure out what they are up to, she tells

Scott to keep acting like a cold jackass.

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17

The swimmers run into the lake, racing from the shore into

the water. Mannish rushes forward wildly, smiling but not

knowing what to expect. Without warning, he panics when he hits

the cold, muddy water. Surrounded by waves and splashes from the

other swimmers, he forgets to float. His arms swing in and out

of the water, but he is barely moving forward. Waves of pain

pound him as faster swimmers from behind crash and crawl over

his body, pushing him under the surface. While everyone else

races to the other side, Mannish wonders how not to get hurt. As

stronger swimmers pass, Mannish gains room to face forward,

stretch his strokes and lift his legs to kick harder. Crawling

through the chaos, he struggles to keep up with the last of the

other weaker swimmers. He mentally pushes his mind as he

physically pulls his body closer to the middle of the lake.

With winners ahead and losers behind, Mannish centers

himself halfway between first and last. He swims through the

calm of the lake’s smooth water at its peaceful center,

recalibrating his strokes so he can finish hard and catch up to

make up for his unaggressive start. He reaches a rhythm he rides

to the other side. Crawling onto the shore, exhausted and

fatigued, Mannish works up enough energy to rest for a bit. He

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pulls himself up, leans onto his knees and catches his breath as

he loses his lead over slower swimmers who run past him toward

their bikes. Hearing his fraternity brothers yelling to keep

going, he gets his mind back into the race. First, though, he

puts on a bit of a show as he takes off on his bike — grinning

and waving back at Tasha and her kids who are standing next to

Scott.

18

Coping with karma is a consequence of being middle-aged,

Scott tells Tasha as he recovers between laps. He says that’s

why he feels like being in his forties is more of a mission than

a phase. Then, he pushes off to start another lap. Even though

his broken ankle healed nearly a year ago, he is now dealing

with the damage daily. Done swimming for the morning, he

explains getting back into shape will prove he’s not letting age

slow him down. Toweling off, he laughs at himself as he breaks

down how he has to work to look athletic even though he has the

genetics for the aesthetic. Tasha flatters Scott with doubt and

disbelief. He appreciates her compliment when she says he’s got

sexy handsomeness all over his face, but reminds her she is not

his target. She bets all the guys must like him since he is so

nice, but he knows it has always been for a price.

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He says these days he feels like a has-been working behind

the bar. Tips are down. Regulars are coupling up and keeping

cozy at home together. Younger bartenders are attracting the new

wave of customers who are either just out or new to the

gayborhood. The lonely-homely are good for a buck a beer or a

dollar a drink when hot bartenders make them feel appreciated

and appealing. Pour a beer and tell them they look good. Let

them know how great it is to see them, while squeezing a lime

into a gin and tonic. Keep them coming back for another round,

for another dollar. Scott says bartenders stay sexy because the

flirting gets creepy if they’re not.

19

Although he does not admit to Tasha how much he hates

swimming, Mannish tells her about a club for crew he wants to

join on campus. Sliding back and forth on the rowing machine, he

explains how he’s focusing on rowing in the mornings instead of

swimming in the pool. Tasha struggles to bend down, meeting him

at eye level, as Mannish explains how the guys raised money

posing nude for a calendar. He mentions that his skinny ass

would be perfect for October since it is so scary.

He stops grinning as soon as he realizes Tasha is scolding

him for disappearing on them. Unable to break in with excuses or

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promises, Mannish faces forward, pushes off with his legs and

leans back, continuing to row rather than listening. He blushes

a bit when Tasha says she remembers how he said he was training

for a triathlon because he couldn’t click with a team. She

wonders if Mannish has any gratitude for Scott’s help and

whether he realizes the impression he has made on the twins.

Ashamed and embarrassed as he continues rowing, he lets Tasha

calm down during his silence before she goes into gossip mode

about going to Germany with Scott.

20

Tasha tenses up trying to relax, struggling to float. She

hides her fear by not taking herself seriously in her swimming

cap. With her ears soaking in the pool as water tickles her

face, Scott’s muffled voice quietly coaches her to stay calm. He

sounds far away though he is kneeling down behind her in the

pool’s shallow end, lifting her back and raising her to the

surface. Rather than be in the moment, she mentally checks her

to-do list and starts solving problems waiting at work.

Processing and pondering, Tasha wonders why holding her breath

with her face in the water is easier than breathing on her back

floating on the surface. Then she asks herself if she just had a

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Zen moment after she synthesized learning how to swim requires

teaching yourself how to stay still.

She becomes flustered when Scott says focus. He says take

it easy but she wants to take a break. He will not let her grab

him, so she holds on to his promises that the water will lift

her up when she lets it. Then she tries to concentrate and

contemplates his warning that she will sink only when she

struggles.

21

Alone in the pool, Mannish swims an occasional lap but

mostly soaks in the shallow end and waits for Scott. He

surprises Scott when he arrives and they catch up with small

talk about teaching Tasha how to swim and traveling with her to

Germany. Mannish smiles, flattered when Scott credits him for

the trip. Scott explains helping Mannish prepare for his

triathlon motivated him to focus on a swimming competition of

his own. With a plane ticket to almost anywhere about to expire,

Scott says it was time for his first trip out of the country

when he found an international sports festival in Berlin that

included swimming.

Mannish apologizes for not being around lately and thanks

Scott for helping him train for the triathlon. Then he confesses

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how terrifying it was swimming across the lake. He admits he

wasn’t prepared for the panic crashing into other swimmers,

choking down water, battling waves and fighting his urge to

quit. He says the most frightening part was how lonely he felt

once he reached the middle of the lake. Being honest lifts his

feelings of sinking when Scott says he understands how isolating

swimming gets. Mannish listens as Scott talks about how fun it

was growing up swimming on teams, but how much he struggled

getting back into the pool during his recovery. Scott adds the

thing that sucks about swimming is it forces him to think

inward, something he realizes he’s been avoiding as an adult.

Then he explains the willpower Scott needs to face himself is

what Mannish will need to finish what he starts — even if

there’s no way of winning.

22

The twins swim back from the deep end toward Mannish, while

Scott and Tasha wade in the shallow part of the pool talking

about Germany. She tells stories about growing up in West Berlin

when her father was stationed there, and what it was like

returning on her own to a unified Berlin when she was an

exchange student. Practically speaking in German, she recites a

list of things to do, food to eat and places to see.

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In between bobbing up and down in the water with the boys,

Tasha says the countdown to Berlin is five months and ten days.

She tries to keep Scott calm after Mannish converts the

countdown to just one hundred and sixty-three days. His stalling

and doubt makes Tasha worry Scott might back out at any moment,

especially since he still does not have his passport. He gets

overwhelmed when calculating costs, but Tasha tells him they

will find ways to pay. She says he is being brave when he says

he feels foolish. He thinks it is impossible, but she promises

it is. Mannish interrupts and tells Scott to chill, because Frau

Tasha is going to make things happen.

23

With all the men in the pool, Scott gets campy with Tasha.

He settles into silent seriousness when he gets the look from

her, warning him it is time to work. She introduces Scott to her

group as he scans the line of young vets mentally maimed by the

military. They look comfortable with their comrades, but guarded

when Tasha takes command. This is the first time he is seeing

their faces in person, rather than just reading their names on

lists. As he picks up on their bright energy and their buddy-

buddy behavior, he wonders if they are a different group of

volunteers since none of them looks like he wants to kill

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himself. He senses vibes of vulnerability watching them listen

to Tasha explain her Heroes Helping Heroes program. He wonders

whom the hell he is watching as she gives the men her word that

they are neither guinea pigs nor lab rats, even though this

therapy is experimental. Watching her work, Scott feels

intimidated by her professionalism but then second-guesses her

approach, considering she is wearing a bathing suit and a swim

cap, instead of a lab coat carrying a clipboard.

Following Tasha’s coaching, Scott projects calm confidence

and commanding compassion as he leads from the water. Together,

they show Tasha’s group how to float, find focus and keep calm

from overwhelming anxiety. Scott teams up strong swimmers with

weaker ones. He uses what he learned from his certification

training and tells the weaker to support the stronger who are

instructed to float on their backs. Following the strategy he

and Tasha planned together, he says they are here to float, not

swim. To show the difference, Scott explains how swimming takes

you somewhere, but floating helps you control where you are. He

asks the weaker swimmers if they notice how all the big, bad,

experienced swimmers struggle to stay still. He says it’s

because they are fighting urges to move, not because they are

scared of sinking, but because they feel awkward and

uncomfortable. Quietly and calmly, he narrates their situation

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and points out that here, they are all together in the water.

They are exposed and nearly naked, depending on someone else’s

help just to be in the moment. He adds that getting around in

the water is second nature to the strong swimmers, so their

minds center on how they are feeling, not on what they are

doing. Scott guarantees the weaker swimmers will forget about

feelings and focus on staying on the surface when it is their

turn. Complimenting these men for being alert and ready for

action, he challenges them to relax and recharge. Smooth

splashes and gentle waves calm the pool filled with tough and

terrifying warriors, who start to heal by surrendering to trust.

24

It is a flawless fundraiser filled with frat boys and

fairies, soldiers and sailors. Mannish is flattered and feels

fantastic when Scott says how grateful he is for the surprise.

Since Scott is having trouble covering expenses to travel to

Germany for his race, Mannish hosts a Sunday afternoon party

where Scott works. Just when the party vibe peaks, Mannish gets

on stage to welcome everyone. He thanks them for helping support

a middle-aged man make his global premier in competitive

swimming at Berlin’s Gay Games in Germany. The crowd roars

during the pause for applause.

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The queens gasp, the vets shout and the frat boys drink

when Mannish explains Scott will compete in the men’s division,

ages 45 and up. Pretending to apologize, he smirks as he says he

is sorry for telling everyone Scott is middle-aged. He asks for

faux forgiveness, saying he assumes everyone knew Scott was in

his fifties. He jokes with backhanded praise, explaining Scott’s

odds of bringing home the gold are pretty good, especially since

not many men his age are alive let alone capable of swimming

long distances in the first place. He then goes in for the

zinger and says Scott might as well compete in the high jump,

too, since he is a master at lowering the bar. None of the

groans and moans from the audience keep him from stealing the

show.

25

Passing through security, Tasha sees the TSA agent pull

Mannish to the side. She cannot hear the agent but can tell by

the intensity in his face Mannish needs to start looking

serious. From the wand to the pat down, her heart breaks

watching his smile dissolve and the joy of their journey to

Germany evaporate. Mannish does not resist, but he does not look

pleased. Tension escalates when other agents come to assist. She

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prays he cooperates and asks another agent what is wrong,

wondering how to help.

She punches Scott in the shoulder and tells him to knock

it off when he says he jokingly warned Mannish the beard he just

grew made him look like a terrorist. Tasha tries to interrupt

the interrogation by offering assistance, but the agents push

her aside and tell her she is interfering. She says she

understands the misunderstanding. Swearing Mannish is harmless

and not hostile, she explains to the agent Mannish is nervous

because this is his first time flying. Her concern creates more

stress, and Scott tries to keep her calm while the agents do

their duty until Mannish fades through glass offices and

disappears into a back room.

26

This is what life is like for boogiemen, Scott tells

Mannish, who sits silently sunken, stunned, and still humiliated

as other passengers finish boarding. All the attention on

Mannish from attendants on alert adds anxiety so Scott tries to

distract from the tension. Being protective, Scott explains the

insignificance of the agents who mumbled Mannish might be

Muslim. He says the rednecks back in security who have nowhere

to go simmer in jealousy, watching those they judge unworthy go

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places the agents will never see. Calling them cowards, he says

they abuse authority, thinking they can keep people who appear

to be different in their places. When Mannish wonders if he will

be singled out and interrogated again when they land in Germany,

Scott warns that assholes are everywhere.

Sharing the shame he felt losing his job teaching high

school history and coaching the swim team, Scott talks about a

delusional senior girl who spread rumors they were secretly

dating. He says he thought admitting he was gay would explain

away the gossip when it got to the school board. He smiles when

he says they fired him for telling the truth, citing the

morality clause he signed when he accepted the district’s job

offer. After he puts his parable into perspective, he notices

Mannish is not moved. Scott unbuckles his seatbelt, gets up,

unzips his hoodie and takes off the Team Texas T-shirt he got

for the Gay Games. Standing shirtless in the aisle, he hands it

to Mannish and tells him to wear it with pride so everyone knows

he is a Texan.

27

The men and women cheer and chant near the top of the

bleachers as Scott crawls closer to the lead. Tasha catches

Mannish noticing the noise, too, as they both look back and

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Page 27: The Solitude of Swimming

forth between the swimmers in front of them and fans behind

them. She agrees they sound like they are from the United States

but says they look too clean-cut to be students. The crew gets

louder as Scott’s race gets longer, and Tasha yells in their

direction that she and Mannish are Scott’s fans, too. A young

woman with close-cropped hair shouts back, asking if she is

Tasha. Next to her, a young man pointing his phone at the pool

says colleagues back in the States emailed them to be on the

lookout for Tasha and a guy named Mannish. He then explains he

is streaming Scott’s race live for their veteran friends back

home who are recovering from their time in service.

Overwhelmed with pride, Tasha covers her mouth screaming

and then slaps her cheeks laughing, before wiping her eyes from

crying. The men and women in the stands, cheering behind her,

were off-duty soldiers from a nearby base, sent by her group of

vets at home to support Scott. Tasha waves at the phone shouting

thank you and that she loves them. Altogether, Tasha and Mannish

chant U-S-A with the soldiers as Scott finishes his final few

laps.

28

No excuse matters when Scott volunteers Mannish to

substitute on the Vegas relay team of twinks in their twenties.

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Page 28: The Solitude of Swimming

After partying around Berlin following the opening ceremonies,

they lost a swimmer who went off with either a British weight

lifter or a runner from Spain. They don’t care Mannish isn’t

gay, just as long as he’s in his twenties and from the United

States. They have goggles and a swimsuit for him. He only has to

start and finish without standing, stopping or drowning.

Despite Scott’s encouragement and coaching, Mannish stands

around on the deck, timid and nervous, nearly naked in a Speedo

too tiny even for his skinny ass. Focusing on the race, no one

notices him until it is his turn to get on the starting block.

Elevated, he sees Scott and Tasha in the stands, clapping and

waving. There is way too much noise, but he laughs out loud

smiling when he hears them lead the soldiers chant, “Just-don’t-

stop! Just-don’t-drown! Just-have-fun!”

The End

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