The SentinelAmsterdamIntegrity, heart, humour

vol. 4 #1 - 16 November 2010

OKTOBERFESTFEATURE

LIFESTYLES

CALIFORNIA CALLING...

A TASTE OF USSR IN AMSTERDAM

MARATHONMENpERSpEcTIvESOpINIONTRENDScARTOONSpORTcLASSIFIEDS

pERSpEcTIvES

SpORT

02cONTENTS

In this issueFEATURE p. 03

cOLOpHON

The Sentinel Amsterdam

e-mail: sentinelpost@gmail.comwebsite: www.thesentinel.eu

Editors – Gary Rudland & Denson PierreDesign, realisation and form – Andrei Barburas & No-Office.nlWebmaster – Simon O. StudiosWebhost – Amsterjammin.com

Contributors – Simon Conheady, Jeff Brush, Colin Bentley, Lyubov Molodikova, Dirkje Bakker, Alan Hungerford, Guust Augustijn, Eleanor Rigby, David King & Maureen Kamp

Photos: San Francisco – Priscilla Reynado, Ohio – John Brush, Zagreb – Guust Augustijn, Amsterdam – Denson Pierre

Oktoberfest

LIFESTYLES p. 08

California calling...

pERSpEcTIvES p. 16

A taste of USSR in Amsterdam

SpORTS p. 22 SpORT p. 28 MORE:

Marathon men The Sentinel Fantasy Football League

LIFESTYLES p. 14The adventures of Eleanor Rigby and Penny Lane

TRENDS p. 18What not to weather

FILM REvIEw p. 19Room 2C

cARTOON p. 19

STUD MARKS p. 21The two Coles

THE GOLD ROOM p. 32The Lipstick FC

‘He closed his pursed lips around the warm rounded object and, shutting his eyes, began to suck for all he was worth...’

‘Just under four hours later I crossed the finish line as the first Dutch runner’

Dream Team

‘Rooted within Hispanic history, the flavour of the Mission is south...’

‘Beverly Hills 90210, Santa Barbara and later Friends were rarely missed.’

FEATURE 03

Oktoberfest

By Simon conheady

04FEATURE

Eight o’clock: the birds were singing in their familiar harsh German tone and it was time to make a move. After a quick shower, I threw on whichever clothes lay at the top of my sports bag and, following Bev, padded up the wooden staircase in my socks to where a frustrated Thomas was beckoning us – we had overslept by a matter of mere minutes. I rubbed the remaining sleep from my eyes as I attempted to behold the sight in all its glory. Our host was adorned in his finest native dress: lederhosen. His blue and white checked shirt stood in stark contrast to the dull green leather attire. His outfit was complemented by his self-described “creepy” brown suede shoes. The icing on the cake was the dapper grey cravat which hung in elegant fashion from his clod of a neck, like a delicate hammock resting between the strength of two solid pine trees.

‘The traditional Bavarian breakfast may not be quite as apt to beat a hangover as an Irish fry up...’

FEATURE 05

Thomas looked the absolute business and I would have invested in a similar getup of my own had the price not been so steep. The spread on the breakfast table was spectacular, as we took our places with the Stoltz family. The traditional Bavarian breakfast may not be quite as apt to beat a hangover as an Irish fry up, but it comes a close second. There were various types of cold and cooked meats and baked breads present, in addition to a vast array of condiments encompassing all flavours, sauces and tastes known to man. I will not judge the customs of others and walked my talk as I nodded in response to Thomas’ clear intent. He pulled off the bottle cap with a loud pop and poured me a glass of German Weiss beer, an essential complement to any authentic Oktoberfest breakfast.

SAUSAGE SUccOURThe white sausage is a festive treat and Thomas was beaming with excitement as he readied to impart unto us the knowledge and means of how to tackle such a bizarre looking dish. This delicacy sports an additional outer skin to which we were not accustomed and did not know how to approach. Our German host began his live demonstra-tion. He tentatively placed one end of the steaming chunk of meat in his receptive mouth. He closed his pursed lips around the warm rounded object and, shutting his eyes, began to suck for all he was worth as he caressed and massaged the tender skin off with the deft touch of his monstrous hands. His parents saw the humour of it all as they realised that Bev and I were at pains to contain the

fits of laughter that threatened to eradicate the silence, save for the salivating sucking noises emanating from our host’s mouth.

Thomas cast his eyes open as he heard the stifled chortles from the opposite side of the packed table. It dawned on him that he had been the source of the entertainment and, with a look of fitting distaste, placed his semi-conquered sausage back on to his plate. Realising that our immature minds would not allow us to tackle the skin in the same manner, he instructed us to use a sharp knife to cut the in-ner meat free. It was an easy process and took but a couple of seconds to complete. There was no conceivable reason

‘To our delight, the local residents’ association had raised adequate funding to provide this improvised party den with two hundred and fifty litres of free beer.’

why he had chosen to go the ‘fluffer’ route – culture can be a strange thing.

The meal was lapped up with great appreciation. Thomas’ parents went beyond the bounds of expected hospitality and did not allow us to want for anything. Their generosity was compounded by the fact that they had not seen their only son for a couple of months. They were delighted to have their pride and joy back home with them, albeit for such a short stint. This genuine couple even attempted to provide us with extra provisions for our ensuing journey and Thomas was forced to act as our security, as he ush-ered us out the door before even more treats were forced into our overstuffed pockets.

FIRED Up FOR FREE BEERThe local tradition at the annual beginning of the Oktoberfest was a splendid and, indeed, magical one. The community fire station opens its corrugated steel shutters to the public for this landmark day in the Munich calendar and society. As we arrived, there were revellers teeming out from each of the four entrances; all of which were wide enough to drive a truck through, literally. The blue and white bunting, symbolising the colours of the Bavarian flag, was in abundance and the lines containing miniature flags hung and swayed above our heads. The functional fire station was bereft of its service vehicles, resulting in a large open space for merrymaking. To our delight, the local residents’ association had raised adequate funding to provide this improvised party den with two hundred and fifty litres of free beer. The bottles were doled out

from behind the makeshift bar and the session kicked into full swing.

Each and every member of the community was dressed impeccably. The males were all regaled in their finest lederhosen, while their female counterparts looked as chic and cultivated as one could imagine in their dirndl dresses. There was a pronounced magnitude of class and excellence about all present, and I felt embarrassed as I stared with contempt at my dark jeans and white trainers. Rosie and Michelle, the Aussies, arrived on cue and we no longer felt like the only sore thumbs. Thomas introduced us to the men- and women-folk who were engaged in flowing conversations, catching up and reminiscing. Notwithstanding the complimentary 5.3% bottles of Augustiner, the highlight of the event was a big screen which had been erected inside the station specifically for the day in question.

GETTING HAMMEREDAt exactly eleven o’clock, Thomas and the Bavarians focused on the screen and their eyes were glued. The im-ages being relayed were of the Mayor of Bavaria who had taken his regal and rightful place in one of the grand beer tents in the Oktoberfest zone. His impending duty was to grab his mayoral hammer and smash open the first keg. Folklore tells us that the fewer number of swings required to burst open the inaugural barrel, the more grandiose the ensuing Oktoberfest would be. All one hundred and fifty of us in the fire station tensed as we awaited his first blow with eager anticipation.

06FEATURE

‘Folklore tells us that the fewer number of swings required to burst open the inaugural barrel, the more grandiose the ensuing Oktoberfest would be.’

The Mayor teetered towards the giant oak barrel, which had been placed with due caution atop a sturdy table, with mallet in tow. He wound his right arm up with intent. He smashed the hammer downwards with a frenetic lash. His wooden mallet made a telling contact as he decimated the tap and beer gushed out of the enormous chink in the oak armour. It had taken the leader but one strike. The crowd on the television and in the fire station let out a triumphant roar: this Oktoberfest was going to be a memorable one.

FEATURE 07

LIFESTYLES

‘I head over the entire US continent and Atlantic Ocean to arrive in Europe early in 2011.’San Francisco, California, is divided into various districts, full of diversity and well rep-resented by different cultures. I reside in the Mission district. Rooted within Hispanic his-tory, the flavour of the Mission is south of the border (Mexico) and it is one of the younger areas on the peninsula. Various open markets litter the streets and local establishments are always open after hours. There’s always some-thing new to explore and it’s hard to become bored in a city like San Francisco.

Even though I have been living in California for the past three years, my home is in Columbus, Ohio. Located within the Midwest region of the United States, Columbus has its own unique characteristics that are deep-seated in American tradition. I feel very fortunate to have spent the most recent chapter of my life in San Francisco, but the fields and towns of Columbus represent the more intimate American setting for me.

THE SEARcH BEGINSSince my recent graduation from college in San Francisco, like many other graduates, I have been looking for what comes next. I attended the California College of the Arts (CCA) for six semesters, studying a range of subjects, and felt I had generated a substantial portfolio. Having gradu-ated in the spring of 2010, I had plenty of answers but also many questions. What kind of work do I want? Who do I want to work for? Where do I want to work?

I began discussing these questions with instructors, with whom I had previously studied, and browsing through various studios of interest. My search began in a somewhat limited fashion, as I looked through design annuals, magazines and websites. I managed to send my portfolio to over fifty studios within the United States and abroad but received very little response. The process was discourag-ing. I felt restricted by only being able to discuss my work via e-mail and realised I would have a hard time fully ra-tionalising any studios of interest, and that committing to

a potential working situation would be a risk. I started to feel as though I had no idea what I was really looking for.

AN UNLIKELY BREAKTHROUGHOne studio in which I had taken an interest was No-Office, based in Amsterdam. Coming into contact with No-Office was nothing out of the ordinary. It took some time, but when I did they commented on my portfolio and, to my excitement, offered me an informal ‘interview’ via Skype. I was a bit surprised and hesitant at first, but talking with someone directly sounded intriguing.

Over a short discussion, I learned briefly who they were and what they did but, more importantly, that they were interested in my work. There was a mutual sense that I had something to learn from them just as much as they wanted to learn from me. They offered me the job and signing off from Skype, I felt comfortable with our conversation and in the knowledge that working for No-Office would be a new and challenging contrast to what I had been used to.

NEw HOME TRUTHSI head over the entire US continent and Atlantic Ocean to arrive in Europe early in 2011. In the meantime, I have been working various freelance jobs to keep me sharp. I feel extremely fortunate to be given such an opportunity but, at the same time, I also realise the challenges that surely lie ahead.

Setting aside the work, the challenge of moving to a completely different country is generating its own ap-prehensions. New language, new people, new culture. Like anyone moving abroad, I have no idea exactly what to expect. Nevertheless, I’m looking forward to coming to the Netherlands and, although my knowledge of Amsterdam is limited, I think I will find myself learning not only about a new culture and lifestyle, but even more so about myself.

08

LIFESTYLES 09

By Jeff Brush

california calling...come in Amsterdam...

10LIFESTYLES

‘There’s always something new to explore and it’s hard to become bored in a city like San Francisco.’

LIFESTYLES 11

LIFESTYLES 12

‘Located within the Mid-west region of the United States, Columbus has its own unique characteristics that are deep-seated in American tradition.’

LIFESTYLES 13

The adventures of Eleanor Rigby and penny Lane

14LIFESTYLES

Become a yes person. That is the challenge I have been set. Having just passed a birthday prior to a milestone age and being fully in-stalled in both professional and social life in Amsterdam, the mind, as it does, has turned to relationships; or, more importantly, the lack thereof.

Having dinner with two girlfriends, who shall henceforth be known as Penny Lane and Smug Married, PL and I began not to lament, that’s too strong a word, but perhaps bemoan our single status, particularly as we’re nearing the winter months.

Smug Married, who in fact is neither smug nor married, gave us some advice. SM is well placed to give advice because she is the kind of woman you want to hate but just can’t; happy relationship with a nice boy (man, perhaps), good job, good cook and good pole dancer. Yes, what more need I say?

RULES OF ENGAGEMENTSM’s advice was that we need to become yes people; saying yes to all social engagements proposed to us. Not only this, but the gauntlet was thrown down to go out on two, yes two, dates each month! The criteria are simple: we must date two different men each month from now on, until we find someone worth dating a second time.

You’d think this would be relatively simple. Think again. A sequence of social engagements, ranging from ‘upping the social quota’ events to more bizarre and complex ways to meet men, has thus ensued.

Day one of the social challenge began with a Sunday stroll round the market and dinner with friends. While dinner was truly a feast to behold, the turn-out ended up being one male and three single women. Failure number one.

What ensued at this dinner was a concentrated and as yet unrepeated flurry of researching and signing up for various dating websites. We started strong and keen, only to end up searching through sites like sugardaddie.com. It would seem that the quality of expat dating websites in Amsterdam is not something upon which to either base your future prospects or even muster up any excitement about. Failure number two.

TOO pIcKY?Scrolling through the Dutch dating sites did not bode well, either. It seemed our criteria, which were quite shallow at the outset, did not garner many results in the Dutch quarter. Who’d have thought a requisite height of approxi-mately 1.83 metres would eliminate so many Dutchmen!

A friend of SM, the Sarjent, who you will come to know, gave us some good advice regarding the level of dating sites here in Amsterdam: just don’t do it was the consensus. The Sarjent is even contemplating setting up her own site. I’ll keep you informed of any progress there as it happens!

By Eleanor Rigby

LIFESTYLES 15

And so, what began over a few bottles of wine one Satur-day evening has spawned two social-scene-crazed mutants desperately seeking enough dates to reach a quota. But let’s be honest, it is more than just that. So follow our adventures over the course of the next few months to see how we fare. It should at least provide some amusing anecdotes, social commentary and local insight. Sugges-tions are welcome!

‘The criteria are simple: we must date two different men each month from now on, until we find someone worth dating a second time.’

A taste of USSR in Amsterdam

16pERSpEcTIvES

This is just a very small piece of a puzzle and a short story about one of my discoveries in the Western World.

I was born in the Soviet Union and grew up in a small town called Kremenez, in Ukraine. I was just entering my teenage years when the union properly collapsed. Like many other youngsters there, I began to dream of visiting beautiful and fashionable capitalistic cities.

There was an unusual and tempting new luxury life we could experience through our TV screens after the iron curtain fell. Beverly Hills 90210, Santa Barbara and later Friends were rarely missed and fiercely discussed Ameri-can series. By contrast, in a small town like my hometown, the only fast-moving thing was gossip. Moved by a big dream and a zest for adventure, I positioned myself to discover the ‘wild’ west. I have not yet made it to Los Angeles but, following stays in Berlin and then Warsaw, I have made it as far as Amsterdam. Tourists tend to come to Amsterdam for its unique spirit and entertainment. Beside this, they may also come to experience Dutch hospitality; something which still surprises me after three years here.

Recently, I had drinks and dinner in one of the new and trendy café-restaurant-clubs in Amsterdam West. When the time came to order, I asked for a starter described as tapas with sardine pâté, which sounded quite appetising.

What actually arrived was far from what I expected: a large chunk of Arabic bread and a tin of ‘Manna’ sardines, unopened, plonked on a plate next to a knife. Luckily, as an experienced camping person, I knew how to open the tin.

Curiously, this experience reminded me of the old days in the USSR, when the classic workers’ lunch was a tin of sardines served with simple white bread. Cuisine in hip Amsterdam, these days, seems able to take me back into my history. The only difference is the price. My rustic culinary starter cost a modern j 3.50. Back in a Kremenez restaurant today, that would get you a family-sized pizza!

By Lyubov Molodikowa ‘Tourists tend to come to Amsterdam for its unique spirit and entertainment.’

pERSpEcTIvES 17

‘By contrast, in a small town like my hometown, the only fast-moving thing was gossip.’

18TRENDS

For anyone who still has the will and courage to get out of bed in the morning, let alone get dressed and give a damn about how they look, as long as it’s warm…

Yup, it’s full autumn… Time for a change of wardrobe. It’s definitely become too cold to go outside wearing flip-flops, so please, really, pack them away and don’t get them out again before spring. (Really guys, I have seen people in open-toed shoes right up to last week – give it up!)

I’m sure we all have a smashing selection of fashion-able, classy and sophisticated winter garments in our wardrobes, ready for all those upcoming frosty, grey days. New dresses, leggings and cardigans hanging neatly and all colour-coded (grey, black or dark blue), simmering with enthusiasm and anticipation of being worn. They almost crackle with joy when you touch and pick them up to wear for the first time.

You choose with care, you dress, you style, you brush, you shine, you get it all together and you look like a stunning autumn queen, ready to perform some magic. You check yourself in the mirror for the last time, pick out the right handbag and add the finishing touch of red or black. Then you slip into your yellow, plastic rain outfit, so as not to ar-rive at your appointment looking like a wet dog (let alone smelling like one). How the hell are we supposed to stay fashionable while biking through the driving wind and rain of Amsterdam?

Throughout the ages people have asked themselves this very question and, obviously, some of them thought they had discovered a gap in the market so big that they didn’t

By Dirkje Bakker

What not too weather

understand why no-one had thought of it before. They designed and developed, created and invented. Each one of them seriously thought they had found a solution to this age-old, ever-recurring problem.

The inventiveness seems to be endless, although the results lack any sense of hope for the future and have culminated in something called the Nubrella; a futuristic looking bit of headgear/helmet/umbrella that just incites fits of uncontrollable laughter. I do see possibilities for earning some money on the side by wearing this and allowing tourists to make photos of you with a bike and clogs while chilling on the Dam; you might well contribute to the already poor attributes that seem to define the Dutch culture. Or, add some Swarowski crystals and try to sell them on the PC Hoofdstraat, where the Japanese, Russian and local shoppers could well be interested in blinging in the rain…

At least not only the grey season, but also the speed (ice) skating season has started again. Not for fashion reasons, of course, although I have heard some positive comments lately on the cat suit as an underappreciated item of women’s fashion.

By David King

Misery (1990) When you’re famous and stuck in a snowstorm, being rescued by your number one fan is surely a godsend... Or is it?

This superb adaptation of a Stephen King novel leads us into the world of obsession and how far people will go to own what they believe to be right-fully theirs. Cathy Bates deservedly won an Oscar for her role in this dark-humoured horror, ably assisted by the effervescent James Caan.

Room 2cfilm

FILM REvIEw 19

CartoonBy Colin Bentley

Aaarghhh!!

Man, I really should stop smoking this stuff

20cLASSIFIEDS

Located in the heart of Amsterdam (Voetboogstraat 11, just off the Spui), the ABC Treehouse is “a unique cultural center”. With generous support from our corporate sponsor, the American Book Center (www.abc.nl), we offer an exciting agenda of lively discussions, workshops and cultural events, and have earned a reputation as “a major point of artistic and literary exchange for the city’s Dutch and multicultural communities.” - (www.iamsterdam.com).

Our guest authors are writing on the hottest - and sometimes most controversial - topics; our groundbreaking graffiti and gay pride exhibits have broken taboos and visitor records, and our special Discussion Events have brought together Americans and Iraqis, Israelis and Palestinians, Republicans and Democrats for a lively exchange of ideas and viewpoints. And sometimes, it’s just about having a good time: enjoy music and theater during our Theaterworks evenings, or knit a new scarf at Crafty Me.

Visit our website to see a full list of our events and workshops: www.treehouse.abc.nl, or stop by and join the ABC Treehouse community!

Stud marksBy Maureen Kamp

‘they were always tall OR dark OR rich OR mysterious...’

As she looked into the immeasurable depths of his dark-brown, almost black, eyes – eyes that seemed to look straight into her heart to read all her secrets – she felt her knees weaken, overwhelmed by both anxiety and lust for this mysterious beautiful predator she feared but for whom she’d longed an eternity. He breathed heavily as he kissed her on the lips or neck, or something, and she could feel his manhood against her burning thighs, blah, blah, blah, etc., etc.

I used to read that sort of pulp (the sexless ones) when I was 14, maybe, and on holiday with my parents. I read the ones that were a bit naughtier when my parents couldn’t see me, the ones that actually had SEX in them, or at least a suggestion of sex (but only when it was clear they really loved each other forever, of course, no random sex!). I didn’t know men like that yet (nor manhood) but I was convinced all that would come to me at some point. Tall, dark, handsome, mysterious and sooo completely devoted to me. Yeah, you can get a bit carried away at that age.

So, when it was my time to make my way into the world of men, as you can imagine, there were more than a few disappointments. First of all, they were always tall OR dark OR rich OR mysterious, never the whole package. And secondly, they did want to use their manhood but were only sooo devoted up to that time...

After a substantial period of trying, I had the life-changing epiphany that maybe those silly books had it all wrong! Since then I’ve been pointing my arrows in the other direction, towards Mr Nice Guy.

You see, I believe that the world of men can be roughly divided into two Coles, the Ashleys and the Joes. While Joe Cole was one of my first picks for Stud Marks XI, even though he’s often injured or on the bench, Ashley Cole (good looking and a great FFL point scorer) was never an option. Up to now, I’ve been thinking that I may have made the wrong choice. I mean, who cares about person-ality? It’s a competition. It’s about sexy men and I’m not winning... Time for concessions?

But now, with the days getting shorter, temperatures dropping and Christmas on the way, I know he was exactly the right choice! Someone nice and warm to cuddle up to; someone who doesn’t mind if you have the biggest piece of cake; someone who wants to spent Christmas just with you; someone who comes home to you; someone who makes you feel like a winner.

I think Joe Cole makes Mrs Cole feel like a winner and the fact that he is actually also pretty good looking (and very, very rich) is just a nice bonus.

Maybe sub him for Van der Vaart?

21cOLUMN

22SpORTS

MARATHON MEN 2010

Amsterdam

ALAN

HUNGERFORD

‘I have used the Amster-dam half marathon, I hope, as training and build-up to doing the full 42 kilometres and 195 metres next year.’

SpORTS 23

24SpORTS

SpORTS 25

Zagreb

GUUST

AUGUSTIJN

26SpORTS

‘The challenge was there. Can I run the Zagreb Marathon without giving up drinking alcohol and smoking? It took me two months of heavy train-ing and running. The drinking habit continued. To get in the right mood, just before the start I smoked a Walter Wolf, my favourite brand of Croatian cigarette. Just under four hours later I crossed the finish line as the first Dutch runner. But to be honest, I was the only Dutch competitor.’

SpORTS 27

28SpORT

At the time of writing*, Denson Pierre leads The Sentinel Fantasy Football League (FFL) with 527 points. But even he could have done so much better, as the following FFL Dream Team reveals.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with the FFL, it is a competition in which managers choose their own team of 11 players from English Premier League clubs. Based on their real-life performances, these players accumulate points from week to week, which combine to form each FFL team’s score.

If budget were no object and there was no limit on the number of players managers could choose from any single club, the Dream Team would be dominated by Chelsea players. Chelsea have led the Premier League all season and have scored many more goals, and kept more clean sheets, than any other club. They boast the top point-scoring goalkeeper, three defenders and two strikers.

However, the FFL rules stipulate that competitors may choose no more than two players from any single club and that the total value of an 11-player team must not exceed £ 55 million. In addition, as well as including one goalkeeper, teams must include ten outfi eld players in one of the following formations: 3-5-2, 4-3-3, 4-4-2 or 4-5-1 (defenders-midfi elders-strikers).

In formulating a Dream Team for the season to date, I have stuck to these same rules. So, the Dream Team is a mixture of the highest-scoring players in each position and the next highest-scoring players, who represent the best value for money in terms of price/points ratio.

In general, the top midfi elders have so far scored more points than either the top strikers or defenders, while strikers are marginally outscoring defenders. The Dream Team’s formation is, therefore, one goalkeeper, three defenders, fi ve midfi elders and two strikers.

BETwEEN THE STIcKSThere is only one possible choice of goalkeeper in the FFL Dream Team: Chelsea’s Petr Cech. With 68 points, he stands head and shoulders above all other keepers, justify-ing his status as the highest-priced goalie in the game (£ 5.5 million). Joe Hart (Manchester City – £ 4.0 million) is Cech’s closest competitor in terms of points scored (51), while Ali Al Habsi (Wigan Athletic) represents the best value with 35 points to show for his £ 2.0 million price tag.

SOLID DEFENcEAlthough Chelsea have the two highest-scoring strikers, in the form of Nicolas Anelka (78 points) and Didier Drogba (72), their price tags of £ 7.0 million and £ 8.5 million, respectively, rule them out. Instead, the other Chelsea player to make the FFL Dream Team is defender Branislav Ivanovic (£ 4.0 million, 72 points). He is joined by the captain of high-fl ying Manchester United, Nemanja Vidic, with 60 points to show for his £ 5.0 million valuation.

The third and fi nal Dream Team defender may come as something as a surprise: Birmingham City’s Liam Ridgewell. Priced at only £ 2.5 million, Ridgewell has accumulated 54 points, making his ratio of 21.6 points per million the highest of any player in the entire FFL. Amaz-ingly, only one manager has him in their team; something that is bound to change after this article.

By Gary Rudland

FFLDreamTeam

28

In general, the top midfi elders have so far scored more points than either the top strikers or defenders, while strikers are marginally outscoring defenders. The Dream Team’s formation is, therefore, one goalkeeper, three defenders, fi ve midfi elders and two strikers.

BETwEEN THE STIcKSThere is only one possible choice of goalkeeper in the FFL Dream Team: Chelsea’s Petr Cech. With 68 points, he stands head and shoulders above all other keepers, justify-ing his status as the highest-priced goalie in the game (£ 5.5 million). Joe Hart (Manchester City – £ 4.0 million) is Cech’s closest competitor in terms of points scored (51), while Ali Al Habsi (Wigan Athletic) represents the best value with 35 points to show for his £ 2.0 million price tag.

SOLID DEFENcEAlthough Chelsea have the two highest-scoring strikers, in the form of Nicolas Anelka (78 points) and Didier Drogba (72), their price tags of £ 7.0 million and £ 8.5 million,

FFLDreamDreamDrTeam

SpORT 29

FFLDreamTeam

SpORT

PETR CECH

CARLOS TEVEZ

drawings © Pieter Bakker

30SpORT

MIDFIELD MAESTROSThey may play in the middle of the park but they are far from middle of the road. The Dream Team’s midfield quin-tet is led by Manchester United’s Nani (£ 5.5m, 78 points). He is joined by two Arsenal midfielders, neither of whom is Cesc Fabregas. Instead, Samir Nasri (£ 6.0m, 77 points) and Andrei Arshavin (£ 6.5m, 75 points) make the Dream Team. With 75 points and a £ 5.0m price tag, Tottenham Hotspur’s Gareth Bale also joins this elite group, having recently dismantled European Champions Inter Milan’s normally solid defence.

These four players would have been joined by Chelsea’s Florent Malouda (£ 6.5m, 74 points) but his price/points ratio let him down in comparison with Cech and Ivanovic. Instead, we have another surprising entry in the form of Newcastle United’s Kevin Nolan. With 63 points to show for a £ 4.0m investment, he fought off competition from the likes of Charlie Adam (Blackpool - £ 3.0m, 56 points), Jack Wilshere (Arsenal - £ 2.5m, 49 points), Scott Parker (West Ham - £ 3.0m, 53 points) and Darren Fletcher (Man Utd - £ 3.5m, 54 points).

FRONT LINEWith the two highest-scoring strikers discounted by the FFL rules, the Dream Team turns to Manchester City’s Carlos Tevez as the first of its two guaranteed goal scorers, even though with 65 points set against a cost of £ 7.5m, he does not represent the best value. That honour falls to Newcastle’s second Dream Team member, Andy Carroll, who has amassed 58 points for the relatively meagre investment of £ 3.5m.

The full team is displayed here and, as you can see, anyone fortunate enough to have chosen this starting line-up at the beginning of the season, would now be riding high with a massive 745 points! That’s more than 200 points ahead of the actual leader! Hindsight is a wonderful thing but, with the Dream Team changing on an almost weekly basis, it is no substitute for foresight.

http://thesentinel.eu/ffl/Latest-FFL.pdf

FFL Dream Team

pLAYER cLUB pRIcE (£M) pOINTS pTS/£M

GK pETR cEcH cHELSEA 5.5 68 12.36

DEF BRANISLAv IvANOvIc cHELSEA 4 72 18

DEF NEMANjA vIDIc MAN UNITED 5 60 12

DEF LIAM RIDGEwELL BIRMINGHAM 2.5 54 21.6

MID NANI MAN UNITED 5.5 78 14.18

MID SAMIR NASRI ARSENAL 6 77 12.83

MID ANDREI ARSHAvIN ARSENAL 6.5 75 11.54

MID GARETH BALE TOTTENHAM 5 75 15

MID KEvIN NOLAN NEwcASTLE 4 63 15.75

FOR cARLOS TEvEz MAN cITY 7.5 65 8.67

FOR ANDY cARROLL NEwcASTLE 3.5 58 16.57

TOTAL 55.0 745

*All scores/statistics compiled on 8 November 2010.

cLASSIFIEDS 31

Amsterdam is the city where I have lived since 2004. I feel great over here! I started my own business and I am very happy about it. This is the link: www.yourtuliptour.com Your Tulip Tour offers you the possibility to see touristic Amsterdam as well as the intimate and well guarded secrets of the city. Your tour will be tailored to your interests and you will receive personalised attention from the moment of your initial contact to the end of your tour.

Your Tulip Tour

‘Amsterdam is the city where I have lived since 2004. I feel great over here!’

Amsterdam es la ciudad en la que vivo desde hace ya mas de cuatro años. Una ciudad muy especial...Una ciudad que me ha brindado muchas oportunidades, hasta la de crear mi propia empresa! www.yourtuliptour.com Me dedico hacer tours a pie por Amsterdam, tengo mi propia. Your Tulip Tour te ofrece la posibilidad de ver la Ámsterdam turística, pero también la más íntima y desconocida, incluso por los mismos habitantes de la ciudad. Tu tour estará confeccionado de acuerdo a tus intereses y recibirás una atención personalizada desde el momento en que lo solicites hasta que lo realices. Todas las visitas a la ciudad son efectuadas por Meri Simon quien seguro que podrá satisfacer toda clase de preguntas y respuestas para los turistas más exigentes.

32SpORT

The GoldRoom

Not every jubilant winner of the qualification game (FFL) takes to master fantasy football strategising in the FFG-CL. Marijke Nalis and The Lipstic FC certainly have. Incredibly, after having narrowly missed out on winning by just a single point on the last day of the previ-ous season, Marijke is back among the leading pack, again looking strong.Like Marijke, most managers hold fast to an approach informed by experience and are loathe to do anything but replace absolute failures or the very long-term injured. Mainly, we all carry a heavy load of reserves in stock for when the crucial phase of the game opens up in the New Year. You need to have substitutes to be competitive in this game and, at this stage, Marijke has a fighting nine remaining.

By Denson Pierre

Florent Malouda

SpORT 33

The Lipstick FCGK petr cech (chelsea) – In team sport the team is far greater than the sum of one individual’s contribution, but the great Czech is head and shoulders above all the other custodians in the league. Rating 9.5

DEF Sotirios Kyrgiakos (Liverpool) – One of the goal-scoring defender types who may well help his team back to decency before the end of 2010. Rating 8.5

DEF Aaron Hughes (Fulham) – Very good, consistently. Clever business. Rating 8.5

DEF phil jagielka (Everton) – David Moyes has vowed to play more direct football. This normally means more clut-tered defending and denial of space to opposing attackers. Jagielka is good and will also score the odd goal, bringing big points. Rating 8.5

MID Stewart Downing (Aston villa) – Has that left foot working again but the other shortfalls remain in his game, which mean he is unlikely to ever boss a long period of a season. All top players need to have at least 65% power in the shot on their weaker side at this level, he does not. Rating 8.0

MID Florent Malouda (chelsea) – One of the top three players of the first third of the season. A concern has to be that you would prefer your wide skilled players to be peak-ing as the matches begin to cluster. Malouda started out so strongly that it will be difficult to maintain those high weekly scores and fitness. Rating 9.25

MID clint Dempsey (Fulham) – Surely a rising star. Has established himself as effective on the ground (both sides) and in the air over the past three seasons. Could well be the next Fulham player picked-up by a team playing in the European competitions. Rating 8.75

MID Nani (Manchester United) – Already leading the FFG-CL Player of the Season title race. Rating 9.25

MID Rafael van der vaart (Tottenham Hotspur) – Has made the start of a legend in North London but is already showing the physical frailty that has historically blighted his brilliant, yet one-sided and slightly opportunistic game. Rating 8.75

FwD javier Hernandez (Manchester United) – Could be the key player used to win this game. Has come into the team and shown full use of the range of skills needed to score goals, and has made Wayne Rooney, and all that has come to surround that wobbly myth, appear slightly vulgar and overemphasised. Rating 9.0

FwD carlitos Tevez (Manchester city) – Arguably the best forward in the league. A man of great charisma and drive who we hope decides to stay around at City past January, as the voices in South America seem to know how to call him back home. Rating 9.15

Ratings total (max. possible 110): 87.40Forecast final position: Top three.

http://thesentinel.eu/ffg/Latest-FFG.htm

Javier Hernandez Phil Jagielka

34cLASSIFIEDS

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