The Senior Diaries

7/24/2019 The Senior Diaries

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The senior

diaries

HIGHSCHOOLLOVEWhat does it all re ally mean?

THE CHASE FORTHAT INDIETEENAGEHOOD

What John Hughes and S ofiaCoppolla got right

TIPS FORFRESH

FRESHMAN What I’ve

Learned Over theCourse of High

School

Mid -life crisis at 17

Written by Iris KimPhotos: Taken by Iris Kimunless stated otherwise

May 2015 Issue

Where do we go from here?



CONTENTS

04

THE CHASE FOR THATINDIE TEENAGE-HOOD

08 TIPS FOR FRESH FRESH-MAN

Or rather, what I’ve learned over the

course of highschool.

THANK YOU, HIGHSCHOOLA thanks to those who were part of

my life from freshman to senior year.

HOME AWAY FROM HOMEThe rhythm of New York City and my

undying love for it.

20

24

12 HIGHSCHOOL LOVE

What does it all really mean?

16 WHERE DO WE GO FROMHERE?

My mid-life crisis at seventeen.

What John Hughes and Soa Cop-

polla got right.



One morning I’m being droppedoff infront of a school withbraces and a variety of pimplesrandomnly placed on my face.Scared, confused, and lost ashell. And now, well, now noth-ing’s really changed except forthe braces (hooray for over-priced straight teeth). We’vemade it, we’ve finally made it;

we are sen iors. We’ve sacrifi cedour first borns for that asianaverage, avoided that ridicu-lous late policy by forgin g notesfrom our beloved moms, andconcerned fathers, we’ve suf-fered through the pain stakingcareer talks, and survived ourmid-life crisis at the age of 18.We’ve earned the prestigious,intimidating, title of “seniors.”

And now we have to find ourplace in the world, and wheth-er that’s getting an intern-ship at the theatre companyyou’ve fallen in love with whenyou were little, or pursuingpost-secondary school to geta degree in something you ar-en’t really sure you’ll get a jobin, we are no longer considered“children.” It’s up to us to de-cide, It’s up to us to shape whowe are and who we want to be.So with that, I wish to end thisyear with a collection of mythoughts, bundled up in this se-nior diary. Seniors, let’s makethe most of this year.

EDITORIAL

LET’S MAKE THE MOST OF THIS YEAR



THE CHASEFOR THAT

INDIE

TEENAGEHOOD

Living in the spectacular now



I wish my life was likea coming-of-age in-die lm. There, I said it. I said whateveryone else is too scared to say. I wantmy life to have the most folksy-alterna-

tive soundtrack there ever is, I want thatJohn Hughes, Say Anything moment witha John Cusack looking hunk standing out-side my window with a stereo, that StevenChobosky, Perks of Being a Wallower nos-talgic vibe, that John Green star-crossedlove, and that iconic Soa Coppola colourpalette.

Indie Teenagehood: Note passing during math class, sneaking out while your par-ents are asleep, night drives with the car-roof off, chats at your locker in between classesabout your crush who smiled at you during fourth period, and that feeling of endless an-ticipation. As though anything can happen, and that the world revolves around you andonly you. In a way, I think I may have achieved this. No way is it comparable to any of JohnHughes lms, but it’s my own, and I wouldn’t want it any other way. I don’t know how I just

realized it, but it’s comparable to the credits at the end of a lm. The black screen appearsand the credits start rolling, leaving me there with pensive music and time to take in whatI just experienced after four years of being in highschool.

by John HughesThe Breakfast Club

by Iris KimSummer Skin

There’s a type of freedom that comeswith being a teenager. During class oneday my friend texted me asking if I wantedto go to the beach and I didn’t even haveto think twice about it; I was going whether

my Biology teacher was teaching the mostimportant lesson of the year or not. On thecar ride there, I thought,“I will never feelthis way again.” And that thought hurtme. When else am I going to be able tosee my friends run after seagulls withoutthe worry of finding a job or being indebt from



“When you’re 16, you’re more serious than you’ll ever be. You think a lot moreabout things you may never think about again. You have to block out a lot of thebig questions when you grow up, I think, so you can deal with the everyday stuff.And also, when you’re a kid, everything’s real tragic. When something happens

to you, it happens deeply.” -John Hughes

THE SPECTACULAR NOW

We approach things that scare and con-fuse us, we question things and studythem, we fall in love carelessly, dream am-bitiously, and get drunk off of hope. Teen-agehood is something that we can’t denebecause it’s something that you can’t read,

it’s something you have to live through tounderstand.

student loans running aimlessly in myhead? I’m not.

There’s a reason why people callteenagehood “the golden days” or “thebest four years of your life.” It’s because ofthat child-ish sense of excitement coursing

through our veins all the time. We get elec-tried when someone invites us to Mac-ey’s party on Friday, or when our favouritesong comes on in the car.



“Kids Again”Hoora Emami, Greg Waburton, Maricar Paraiso

“The Golden Grin”Frasia Morrison

And people think we’re crazy. Parents ask us why we dyeour hair a certain colour, why we go out so often, or why we stay in so often.

They think that we’re goons, underachievers, trouble-makers, rebels, andsometimes that is the case, but it all comes down to one certain reason as

to why we do what we do; because we simply just god damn want to, mom,Principal. Johnson, Aunt Debby. We just want to.



TIPS FORFRESH-

FRESHMAN

I’m not really sure any freshman will be reading this magazine, but this article is moreso the things that I’ve learned over the course of high school. Here are a few words I wish I re-ceived when I was in grade nine.

1) Work WiselyYou always hear people telling other people to “work hard,” but, it’s really about

using the time you have to your greatest advantage. Time is money, be smart with it. Timemanaging is such an essential part of life, you must get friendly with it in order to controlit, manipulate it, and not let it whip you in the ass. Good things take time and it feels goodto be done a project in advance rather than nishing it at 3 A.M. the morning of.



2) Become Friends with Your Teach-ers Sometimes it’s hard to realize that yourteachers are human beings too. Harsh, buttrue. But they are more than just the lessonsthey teach, or how many assignments they

thrust upon you. Talk to them, ask them howtheir summer vacation was, or if they’re a dogor cat person. Having a good connection withyour teachers makes high school so muchmore enjoyable and not to mention, memora-ble. Make the effort, maybe once you gradu-ate you can have your Chem teacher as a Face-book friend and see all of the nerdy memesthey post!

3) Be Brilliant, Be Strong

Raise your hand when you have a ques-tion, raise your hand when you know the an-swer. Raise your hand even when you thinkyou know the answer. Do it. Do not be afraid

of how people will percieve you. You are inschool for your education, not theirs. Answeryour teacher’s question because you are en-gaged in the lesson and answer it with insightand depth. It’s okay if your opinion clasheswith someone else’, say it any way, life wouldbe too boring if everyone thought the same.Be brilliant, be strong.

“More Than Just a Cup”Made by Jacob Logan

“Staying Golden, Ponyboy” The Golden Ghost



4) Put Things in Perspective

If you do poorly on this paper, is it going to ruin you? Your entire future? The answer:No, not at all. Sometimes you try really hard and don’t get the result you were expecting,or sometimes things come up and it ends up draining all that energy and excitement youhave left towards writing the symbolism of Blood in Macbeth, whatever the case may be;

it’s alright if you didn’t do your best. Life goes on and new chances arise.

Krystyna is sad that she got an 85% on an essay. Don’t be like

Krystyna.

“When in Spare” Ted Lownie



7) Don’t Forget “Me” TimeIn the beginning of high school I was so focused on having social plans all. the. time. If I didn’t have

plans Friday night it was absolutely imperative that I did because of the fear of missing out

(FOMO). Fear that I was going to miss out on the best night ever, fear that I was going to miss an oppurtunity

on meeting the love of my life, my new best friend. Fear of being alone while all my friends

were out, but I’m realizing that FOMO has it all wrong. If you’re meant to be somewhere, you will be there.

Things can’t be forced, neither can be moments. It’s alright to decline invitations, you don’t have to feel ob-

ligated to go to an event you don’t want to. Sometimes it’s alright being alone (you also don’t have to shareyour food with anyone that way).

5) Embrace the Weirdness

I don’t care how fun and exciting they makeit look in Gossip Girl, drama is not fun. It is uneccessary, pointless and a way to ruin greatrelationships. Keep a level-head and focus on theimportant things (things that don’t involve who’skissing who), because it’s none of your businessand everyone should have the right to privacy.

6) Stay Away From the Drama (theTrash)I think something I’ve always wish I could

have done is shake some of the people at myschool and tell them, “It’s okay to be weird, youdon’t have to conform!!!” But since that would beconsidered rude by society’s rules, I chose not to.

The word, “weird” is all a social construct. All ofus are weird, we’re all just good at hiding it (somemore than others). So what you love K-Pop andknow all the words to the hit, “Troublemaker?” Sowhat you love chess and are the captain of theteam? Embrace it, it makes you who you are.



HighschoolLove

Don’t lie, we all know you want it (or wanted

it). You want that cheesier than cheese pizza type of

relationship, those kisses infront of lockers, and the

cheeky texts during class. I mean how could you

not? It’s in our nature as humans to be driven by

love. It’s why we have marriage ceremonies and

why Nicholas Spark’s novels are so popular.

But love itself is hard enough to dene, isn’t

it? I mean when it comes down to it, we all want the

same thing- to be loved.

Sandy and Danny.

Troy and Gabriella.

Kat and Patrick.

Cher and Josh.

Jake and Samantha.

Ferris and Sloane.



Barry Louis Polisar - All I WantIs You

City and Colour - The GirlKimya Dawson - Loose Lips

The Lumineers - Stubborn LoveColdplay - Yellow

Ezra Vine - Celeste

Hozier - Jackie and WilsonThe Naked and Famous - Girls

Like YouThe Killers - Here With Me

The Smiths - Please, Please,Please Let Me Get What I Want

Vance Joy - SnaggletoothRegina Spektor - Hero

The Moldy Peaches - AnyoneElse But You

Sweetheart-Soundtrack:

When I was going into grade nine, I wanted a boyfriend. It was actually pretty sad how much I want-

ed one. I wanted to go on cute ice cream dates, I wanted him to teach me how to ride a long board, I wanted

him to take me to the movies, buy me cute clothes, you name it, I wanted it. And then, the perfect thing

happened. On the second day of highschool, I walked into my science class and saw the most attractive

guy with the most luscious, silky Bieber cut (it was the absolute shit back in 2011) with an empty desk next

to him. A perfect candidate for Iris’ desperate, pathetic quest. When he handed me a sheet, I looked into

those deep brown eyes and that neon hat of his and thought, “This is it. This is going to be my highschool

boyfriend. My highschool hubby. People will see us and think we were the cutest god damn thing they’ve

ever laid eyes on.” Oh god, I’m cringing just thinking about this. A few days later Bieber boy and I start

talking some more and he asks me for my number, and from what my little grade nine brain can decode,I determine that he’s interested in me. Boys don’t send girls hearts if they aren’t interested... right? Nope!

Noppe-itty, nope-itty, nope! Turns out he had a thing with another girl for a little bit, and I had to sit beside

them for the rest of the year while they irted in my science class. *sigh*



It wasn’t until many failed friendships/ings did I realize that I was aiming for something that’s actu-

ally really pitiful. A co-dependent relationship. A relationship where I felt I needed to have someone else or

I wouldn’t be able to function. A relationship where I needed someone almost too much. It was the idea of

having a boyfriend that I liked, not the legitimacy of it.

My goals in a relationship have completely changed throughout the course of highschool. It’s not

about the guy any more, it’s about the guy and me. It’s about us. It’s “I’m doing life by myself right now and

if you would like to join me, you are welcome to. If not, carry on.”

People get so caught up on the other person that they forget about themselves. Which is ne,

because being self-less is a great trait to have, but you’re important too. I can’t tell you the countless times

I’ve witnessed people wait for a text in order to be happy. Or a phone call. Or even just any sign of com -

munication. A relationship should be natural with two lovers having genuine feelings towards each other,

even if they’re unsure what’s going to happen next. People fail to see that when they’re invested in someone

because they get so caught up on how the other person perceives them, What happened to love? When

people weren’t afraid to double-text? Call each other? Or be spontaneous and show up infront of the per-

son’s house with plans for the evening? Why, all of a sudden, do we have to be subtle about our feelings?

“ Secrets in the Library”Krystyna Oakman and Jacob Logan



“ Nothing is perfect. Life is messy. Relation-ships are complex. Outcomes are uncertain.

People are irrational. ” - Hugh Mackay

High school is a vulnerable time for stu-

dents and when a relationship is thrown into that

factor, it makes things even more scary. Everyone’s

scared of rejection, but rejection has never killed

anybody. I nd that liking someone gives me cour-

age, which is why I allow myself to be excited whenI fall for a new guy, even if I know that rejection is a

possibility. Sometimes you just have to say, “Damn

it, I like you. And maybe you don’t like me, but this

is me recognizing that I’m interested in you. Let’s

go out for ice cream- or something.” I’ve done this

before, and it is one of the most cathartic things

I’ve ever had the pleasure of doing. Maybe that ice

cream date will turn into a huge disaster, or maybe

it’ll be one of the best dates you’ve ever been on.

Either way, you learn something from it. So house

those stomach butteries and ask that girl you’ve

been crushing on since freshman year.





When you’re young, you want to be these big

things; an astronaut, a singer, etc. And then you grow

up, and things change. You realize that you’re actually

really bad at science and your dreams of becoming part

of NASA are ruined. You shrug your shoulders and turn

to singing, but your voice is alright, and being alright

isn’t good enough if you want to make it big on the big

stage.

And then you suddenly become an alright per-

son that’s alright at things.

And worst of all, you’re alright with it.

You see other people your age doing great, ex-travagent things that you doubt you could ever do, so

you watch on the side-lines, routing for them, thinking,

“How did I get this average? How can people this young

be so sure of themselves, while I’m not sure about much

at all?”

Suddenly, it’s high-school graduation and you’re

off to another city, another province, another country for

school. And you start to wonder if you’ll ever make any-

thing of yourself because the world is just one huge play

that you aren’t sure you’re good enough to land a signif-

icant role in.

A Very Sporadic Piece Wrien on My Mid-Life

Crisis at Seventeen

WHERE DOWE GO FROM

HERE?



I’ve been told many times that I’m good at certain things. But why is it, that no matter how many

times I’m told this, I don’t feel this way? My doubt is my voice of reason. It questions if I’m good enough to

do things, and why I’m doing things.

I think everyone has this. When I ask people what they want to do in the future, they kind of just

shrug and say “I have no clue.” This gives me a sense of comfort because it ’s a reminder that no one has it

gured out. We kind of all feel lost, but it’s a communal lost. We’re all secretly clinging to the comfort of our

own beds in the familiar homes we grew up in. I’m going to miss that stain on my wall that my friend acci-

dently smeared at my fth grade birthday party, or the quietness of the house every Sunday morning, but I

want to move on to bigger things.

Where will we be this time next year? What will we be like? Will we keep in touch with each other?

Fall apart? Will anyone of us really know what we’re doing? No? What about when we’re fourty and have

children? Will we then?



This whole year has been one eeting, ephemeral moment. One big haze. That one football game

where I lost my voice, that one performance where we gave it our all, that one night, that one kiss, I’m

never going to forget it. But there’s an art in being nervous or feeling small; it gives you a chance to make

something of yourself. And it may seem weird, but I can’t wait to walk down those University hallways

where no one knows my name.

“When the Night Says Hello”Lindsay Pallo

“Twilight”

Lindsay Pallo and Iris Kim



“Praccally everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book- and does.”

-Groucho Marx

HOME AWAYFROM HOME



I’m never been in lovewith anything more than I

have New York City.It’s the island of mists, theweirdos that dreamed too big, andfell too hard. They were shunnedand frowned upon for their endlessambition but instead of sticking tothe status quo, they decided to starta civilization where artistic freedomand failure was celebrated. Roman-ticized, even. It is home to thosewhose rise was built upon their fail-ure. They are the ones who makegame-changing lms, critically- ac-claimed novels, and iconic fashionstyles. You will pass them in this grid-lock- structured city and look at themlike a piece of art. A masterpiece thatgoes beyond the word, “pretty.” Be-cause they weren’t put on this planetto be “pretty,” they were put on thisplanet to move mountains. You will

walk past these New Yorkers and -nally understand why it’s known forbeing the unique city it is.

Photos : Iris Kim



“I believe in New Yorkers.Whether they’ve ever ques-tioned the dream in whichthey live, I wouldn’t know,because I won’t ever dare

ask that question.”-Dylan Thomas



THE SOUNDOF NEWYORK

Wayne Newton - Danke Schoen

LCD Soundsystem - New York, ILove You But You’re Bringing Me

Down

Frank Sinatra - New York, New York

Foster The People - Houdini

The Temper Trap - Sweet Disposi-tion

Peter, Bjorn and John - Young Folks

The Cure- Friday, I’m In LoveMadonna - Ray of Light



thank you

24

THANK

YOU



A thanks to everyone and everything involved in my life

during the grades of nine to twelve.

Thank you.

Thank you, sister, for leaving me in the middle of

the hallway on the rst, terrifying day of highschool.

Thank you, Ive, for sitting next to me in English.

Thank you, Alana, for smiling at me in Art class.

Thank you, Jessie, for owning that horse belt of

yours that I always made fun of.

Thank you, Ms. Bloomeld, for teaching my English

class freshman year.

Thank you, Central Music, for making me appre-

ciate string music much more than I would’ve if I

went to my home school.

Thank you, Mr. Larsen for not grading our art proj-

ects based on how aesthetically pleasing they were

because mine were everything but that.

Thank you, JK. Rowling, for writing the Harry Potter

series, inspiring me to be more like Hermione ev-

ery day.

Thank you, Ms. Coward, for making grade nine

french bearable.

Thank you, Tom Grainger and the rest of Parliament

for setting up a Harry Potter semi-formal, my fresh-

man year, making me more excited to go out for a

role in Parliament.



Thank you, to all the custodians who get overlooked everyday.

Thank you, parents, for driving me to school every morningand for putting up with my complaining about school, every

morning.

Thank you, coffee, for getting me through those

early morning rehearsals.

Thank you, Ms. Morland for putting on Monty Py-

thon’s, Spamalot last year.

Thank you, to whoever painted this in the practiceroom.



Thank you, to the teachers who haven’t sent me to the ofce whenver I was late.

Thank you, Mr. Harris, for teaching philosophy and making me question if this

world is even real.

Thank you, to all my former friends who taught me everything I don’t want in a

friendship.

Thank you, to those who taught me what I do.

And of course thank you, for taking the time to read this diary. I wish you all the

best.

Until next time,

Iris Kim



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