The Role of Partners in Women’s Recovery

Barbara Kappos, M.S. W.Bienvenidos Family Services, DirectorLos Angeles, California

Bienvenidos Children’s Center

Bienvenidos Family Services, a division of BCC, based in East Los Angeles provides comprehensive services to families using a community based and culturally sensitive approach.

The Institute for Women’s Health, is an outpatient therapeutic substance abuse recovery program for women.

History Historically the majority of funding has been directed for

mothers and children. Funding sources targeting children and mothers often exclude the father

because of fear of domestic violence issues.

Experience told us we needed to include the mother’s partner and the children’s father to be effective.

Watching women walk out of domestic violence groups right into the arms of their partners waiting outside validated that concept!

Wrote our first grant including fathers as a vital part of our work with the family in 1997.

Funding is scarce for men’s programs so we created partnerships, integrated services for fathers and advocated for a holistic approach.

Programs are designed to be resiliency-based and not punitive. Programs such as Con Los Padres, Joven Noble , East Los Angeles Men’s

Health Center has served thousands of men in our community.

A woman’s journeyMartha, a 24 year old, second generation Latina, lost her children

due to her substance abuse. Both she and her partner used because this is what their environment always was. Both she and her partner had traumatic childhoods. Because of their pain they came together but they did not have the relationship skills necessary to support one another. Their wounds created a very insecure environment filled with violence and co-dependency. They knew that they were destructive to one another and that they had risked their children for their addiction.

Their problems escalated but finally someone outreached to Martha and helped her get into treatment. Her recovery resulted in her partner resenting everything around her. She wanted her children back but she also wanted to stay with him. What was she to do?

Approach

Competency vs. deficit model or the empowerment approach. Helping women build on their strengths instead of the deficits in their

lives. (Stantz & Welch, 1995)

Women are empowered to recreate an environment that is positive conducive of a recovery lifestyle and healthy for their continued development.

A gender-specific therapeutic approach that does not look at pathology of women’s symptoms but to the seeds of health and strength they contain. Assisting women to frame their difficulties as efforts to connect, rather than failures to separate or disconnect (Greenspan, 1983)

Explore the family, cultural and community influences that shapes our individual identity in order to help create a new voice, foster social-cultural identity and bolster a sense of individual responsibility and self-determination.

“Martha had no social support and trusted no one. She felt she could not live without him, he was the father of her children. her world would collapse if she lost him”.

Characteristics of Latinas participating in the Institute for Women Health

N=169

Isolated

Living in poverty

Low-self esteem, guilt and shame

Health problems

Separated or at-risk of being separatedfrom their children

Poor interpersonal relationships

Engaged in violent and abusive relationships

History of sexual abuse and trauma

Mental health issues Fear of sex and

intimacy Underserved

Characteristics of Latinas participating in the Institute for Women Health

Stress associated with acculturation, discrimination and racism has been used as an explanation for the high incidences of substance abuse among Latinas.( CSAT 1999)

Women felt they brought shame to their families and that they had no family support within their recovery.

Women who participated in the program reported that they felt depressed and disconnected from their cultural values.

Women were disconnected from their families because of their

drug use.

“Although Martha was disconnected from her family they supported her by taking the children and not allowing them to go into foster care”.

Goals for a Successful Recovery

Promote an alcohol and drug free lifestyle.

Develop and work towards reaching treatment/life goals.

Develop positive health practices and learn risk reduction and safe practices.

Develop positive, independent skills to establish self-sufficiency.

Work towards creating a nurturing home environment for yourself and your family.

Promote self-control, positive self-identity, and autonomy.

Reflect clarity in one’s daily life and embrace ones well-being, and the well being of others in your circle.

5 Phases of Recovery Phase I - Realization

Months 1-5 are the core of the program, allowing participants time to discover their “inner self” and address the underlying issues of substance abuse and relationship patterns.

Phase II - Transfer of Learning Months 5-7 focus on self-development, building upon the self-

knowledge and sobriety achieved in Phase I. Phase III - Family Systems

Months 7-10 partners strengthen relationships by engaging their partners and family in their recovery.

Phase IV - Self Actualization Months 10-12 develop residual strengths and gain new insights.

Phase V - After-care Months 12 and beyond provide on-going support.

Engaging Partners

Fatherhood classes Substance abuse treatment Anger-management Health education and

services Case-management services Compadres circles (Men’s

Circle’s)

Legal resources Job training Batterer interventions Counseling and

assistance with child support matters

Home visitation

Providing affordable and accessible culturally sensitive services through the same agency or through linkages.

Engaging Partners in the Recovery

An initial assessment must be completed with the consent of the participant and her partner. Assessment to include:

Safety Physical, emotional abuse Attitudes and knowledge of the partner on AOD and his

history of alcohol and substance abuse recovery Mental health status Status of the relationship and the relationship with his

children Level of support emotionally and financially Co-dependency issues

Partners and Interventions Family therapy and couples therapy Co-parenting group Health education group Home visitation Couples group Drug and Alcohol education classes Twelve – step programs Substance abuse treatment Family Supportive Services

“Once Martha entered the third phase both began a co-parenting group and a couples group. At first Hector was resentful, he felt insecure and threatened”.

Challenges working with men Preconceived attitudes towards men may include labeling male

participants as perpetrators, offenders or abusers. Most men who are substance abusers have been wounded or traumatized

as children therefore are resistant to engagement. Often men who have deep wounds are insecure and may perceive

intervention with their partner as a threat. When both are in recovery there is a high risk of relapse. Most programs for men are criminal justice based and tend to have a

deficit approach, are not easily accessible or affordable. Most men connected with women in recovery also have a co-dependent

relationship. Men who are threatened may be violent not only with their partner but

with the staff.Hector initially needed to connect with other men and share his

story, his circle would confront him, allow him to identify his pain and his insecurities and not hide behind his mask. It was only because he connected to other men like him he allowed himself to heal, feel supported and develop. He began his own journey.

Positive Images

The Circle of Health

Circle of Support (1st Phase)Community Family

Children Drugs Martha

Hector

Circle of support ( 5th Phase)

Men’s CircleRecovery Program

MarthaChildren

Employment Hector Supportive Education Family Services

CommunityFaith

MarthaHectorChildren

&Family