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Copyright @ 2015 Dana Morris-Jones 2
The Costs of Unmanaged Conflict Lost time Work Around’s Poor Problem-Solving/Decision Making Morale & Loyalty Compliance without Commitment Stress and Distress Poor Image
2
Copyright @ 2015 Dana Morris-Jones 3
Why Do We Behave This Way?How Can We do Better?
Shift From
Focus on short term & personalLack of trust of other’s motivesAction based on unmanaged emotionsLive in cultures of competition
Inadequate skills
To
Focus on broadly defined long term shared interestsGet others to be trustworthyManage emotions so rational brain in chargeBuild cultures aligned around common purposeConflict competence
Copyright @ 2015 Dana Morris-Jones 5
Shift from to By
Short term focus
Become neutral observer
Gather information Let go of position
Long term focus
Copyright @ 2015 Dana Morris-Jones 6
Shift from to By
Lack of trust
Prisoners Dilemma Tit for Tat Model trust, openness Shared interestsTrusting others
Copyright @ 2015 Dana Morris-Jones 7
Shift from to By
Unmanaged Emotions
EQ – mindfulness & empathy
Validate to lower emotional intensity
Address substantive issues first
Rational Brain
Copyright @ 2015 Dana Morris-Jones 8
Shift from to By
Culture of Competition
Align around purpose, vision, strategy
Reward collaborative behavior
Culture based on Shared Purpose
Copyright @ 2015 Dana Morris-Jones 9
Shift from to By
Inadequate Skill
Identify, learn, practice and reward
Conflict Competence
Copyright @ 2015 Dana Morris-Jones 10
Five Steps for Resolving Organizational Differences Constructively
Copyright @ 2015 Dana Morris-Jones 11
PREPARE Become an Objective Observer – gather
information Analyze Information – use tools Understand Motivation – yours & others
STEP 1
Copyright @ 2015 Dana Morris-Jones 12
Level Analysis Facts/Information Processes/Practices/Structures Goals/Objectives/Priorities History: Behaviors, Feelings and
Relationships Interests/Needs/Motivations Values/Beliefs Organizational Culture
Shallowest
Deepest
Copyright @ 2015 Dana Morris-Jones 16
ENGAGE
Create Conditions for Constructive Engagement Identify the right people – Who
Has a stake? Has information? Can make a decision? Could sabotage? Will be constructive?
Reframe issue Logistics
STEP 2
Copyright @ 2015 Dana Morris-Jones 17
Reframing Formula
How can we [shared interest] while [meeting my interest] and [meeting your interest]?
Copyright @ 2015 Dana Morris-Jones 18
An Example of Ground Rules Be Interested: Listen to and respect all points of view Be Accepting: Suspend judgments as much as possible Be Curious: Seek to understand rather than persuade Be Open-Minded: Question assumptions and look for
new insights Remain Rational: Focus on issues rather than the
personal Be Brief: Spend more time listening than talking Be Civil: Speak as you would wish to be spoken to
Copyright @ 2015 Dana Morris-Jones 19
DIVERGEDefine, Understand, Embrace Differences Not for debate or problem-solving Manage process and content
STEP 3
Copyright @ 2015 Dana Morris-Jones 20
Manage Process – Rational Brain
Your Own Emotions Mindfulness Self Management Calm Demeanor
Other’s Emotions Validate Active Listening Non-Evaluative
Copyright @ 2015 Dana Morris-Jones 21
Manage Content Both “tell your story” Separate fact from opinion – agree on “facts” Separate personal from substantive Separate impact from intent Sort into “issues” to be addressed
Jealo
usy Ang
er
Fear Doubt
Frustration
Irritation
Copyright @ 2015 Dana Morris-Jones 22
CO-CREATESolution Seeking Determine criteria for ‘good’ solution Generate many possibilities Narrow options
STEP 4
Copyright @ 2015 Dana Morris-Jones 23
Determine Criteria by Listing ‘Musts’ & ‘Wants’ Musts – non-negotiables Wants – desirable but not deal breakers
Copyright @ 2015 Dana Morris-Jones 24
Encourage Moving Some ‘Musts’ to ‘Wants’ Revisit reframed question & shared goal What happens if you can’t reach agreement?
(BATNA/WATNA) Acknowledge emotional & personal issues &
agree to discuss after substantive issues resolved
Copyright @ 2015 Dana Morris-Jones 25
AGREE How much agreement do you need? 80-20 rule What to do with the 20
STEP 5
80%
20%
Copyright @ 2015 Dana Morris-Jones 26
IMPLEMENTThe Devil is in the Details Clarify agreements Define words Assign responsibility & timelines Monitor & plan for correction
STEP 5